Walmart Employees Share Their Most Bizarre Customer Experience Ever.
Ahh, Walmart, a beautiful world full of wonder and magic and... is that lady really taking a poo in the middle of the aisle? Yep. That's a grade A dump. Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't just witness that.
Thanks to all the awesome Redditors who shared their most bizarre Walmart experiences.
1. I don't work there, but I have a friend who hasn't been in a Wal-Mart in 15 years. He flat out refuses to go in for any reason. He's a pretty down to earth guy (not the type who thinks he's better than anyone else), but he avoids Wal-Mart specifically because of the people who shop there (his reasons usually center around crying babies, aisle cloggers, and the few weird men who sit by the entrance/exit gawking at the college girls).
One day my friend and I were looking for a certain product before leaving town on a trip. We had been to a few stores around town, and I kept telling him, "I know product x is at Wal-Mart, we should just go there". Finally he agrees to visiting big box land, but he will go in the Home Depot next door to look for the product while I go in Wal-Mart.
As soon as I step inside the door, I see a woman on a motorized shopping cart with her 12 year old son standing on the back of it. She is screaming at him saying, "Now you get offa there boy!" or something like that. His retort: "[Shut up] mama, you ain't even handicapped!"
I got the product we needed that day, but now I do my best to avoid Wal-Mart.
2. This was back in the late '90s. I was working at Wal-Mart as my first job as a teenager. I was floated to the garden department one day and there was a guy looking at lawn fertilizer. I walked over and asked if he needs help, he said "Not now, just looking at the different kinds you have." Pretty standard reply from the guy, so I said "Okay, let me know." I walk away, and then swing back about 5 minutes later. Same guy has proceeded to rip open about 10 different kinds of the fertilizer all over the ground and is rolling around in the stuff. He is also taste sampling the stuff. I called my manger because I did not want to deal with it. Security escorted the guy out the store and called an ambulance in case the ingestion of the fertilizer hurt him.
3. I worked at a Wal-Mart for about 2 months. The weirdest thing I saw was a large lady on a scooter run over a child in the candy aisle and then threaten him because he "almost tipped her". Security was called and she demanded to receive her items for free. Eventually we just let her take the stuff because it was only like 5 dollars worth of skittles.
4. Unrelated Wal Mart story here. I own a business in front of a Supercenter. This morning I came in and noticed my dumpster was stuffed full with Wal Mart's garbage. I reviewed my HD cameras and saw their contracted parking lot sweepers throwing over 20 bags of garbage away at 5:15 this morning. I got in the dumpster, pulled all those bags out, and filled 6 Wal Mart carts up. I rolled them right in front of the store. I went back to my office, called the manager and told him that the next time I would call the cops for illegal dumping. Being in front of a Wal Mart sucks sometimes- there's a huge dumped cat colony and the place is a bum magnet. Thanks for reading, just had to get that off my chest.
5. So, a couple years ago I was in between jobs. I needed loot to pay the bills, so I figured that I'd take a job at Walmart until something better came along. I ended up working in the Lawn and Garden section, which is actually fun when you get to play with plants all day long. However, I wasn't aware that Lawn and Garden also does all of the "holiday" set up and placing said product on the floor.
Fast forward to a week before the public school systems were in session. I had a cart full of notebook paper, pencils, trapper keepers, etc., that I was trying to put on the shelves when a sound ripped through my ear drums that was similar to ones that are typically only heard on the Discovery Channel. Several decibals too loud, the best I can describe it is cats being lit on fire by their tails and being chased by rabid wolves. I looked around to figure out just who in the hell was being murdered in the store when I saw him. (Continued)
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There was a kid about 8 years old. This kid was not cute, due mainly to the alligator tears that were rolling down his cheeks, the beet red color of his face, and the sounds coming from his throat hole. It took me a minute to figure out what the hell was going on in my aisle, until I realized that this kid was throwing a fit because his parents wouldn't buy him three different trapper-keepers. Normally, I'd just shrug and say, "typical Saturday in Wal-Mart" but oh no! This little [jerk] realized that his dad wasn't paying attention to him, and was instead focused on the others kids that I'm only assuming share some form of genetic makeup with this whiny beast of burden. This pisses the kid off even more, since he howls with rage, and (here's where it gets wild) KICKS HIS WHAT LOOKED LIKE 8 MONTHS PREGNANT MOTHER IN THE STOMACH!!!
To her credit, this lady didn't whomp this spoiled little monsters [butt] right in the aisle. No, she instead collapsed on the damn floor, and had to be taken away by paramedics. And that little [jerk] took that as a sign that he could have ALL the trapper keepers he originally wanted. I watched this whole thing go down, and as the dad watched his wife get loaded into an ambulance, not one iota of "you're gonna get it later" came from him. Instead, the idiot kid that kicked his mom started crying about being hungry and wanting chicken nuggets, which the dad then took him to get.
This is why I hate people.
6. Saw an old man take a dump on the floor of the bread aisle once.
8. My friend posted about his experiences working at walmart on his facebook:
The following is a compilation of stupid questions I received during my employment at Walmart. Be warned, this list may destroy your faith in humanity.
1. "How Can I Steal My Neighbor's Internet?"
2. "Why are these Tv's So Small?" "....Sir, Those are Computer Monitors."
3. "I want Wireless Internet, And I bought a router, and the damn thing didn't work, what can I do?" "Well, do you have an Internet connection?" "....No, why would I need one? That's what I'm buying the damn router for."
4. "I'm trying to use my neighbors internet, but they have a password block on their connection, what can I do to get around it?"
5. "Do y'all carry batteries for this phone?" "No sir" "Why not?" "That's a camera."
6. "How do you get the security devices off?" "If I told you, That would defeat the purpose of having Security Devices".
7. While I'm putting Games In The Case, "Sir, do you work here?" "No Ma'am, I just stole a nametag, the keys, and decided to loot the case, don't tell"
8. "Where are your STD memory cards?" I busted out laughing right in front of her.
9. Phone Call "Hi, I just bought an Xbox 360, and it's not even coming on, I've pressed all the buttons, and changed the batteries in the controller, I don't know what's wrong" "Just to make sure, did you (Continued)
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did you plug it in?" Silence And then she hung up the phone.
10. "Where are your Wireless adapters?" "They're over here, do you have your own internet, or are you leeching off of someone elses?" "I want to use my neighbor's, How do these work?" "You run the cd, and plug the adapter into your computer" "....I don't have a computer". I was literally speechless.
11. "What Verizon Prepaid cards do ya'll have?" "We have a 20, 30, and a 50 Dollar Card" "How much does the 50 dollar one cost?" "....50 Dollars" "What about the 30?" ".....Really?"
12. "How much is this Tv?" "899 Dollars" "I'll give you 500 for it" "Sir, I can't Haggle with you" "600?" "Sir, I'm not allowed to Haggle" "650?" "I can only sell it for 899" "..700, final offer". I'm sad to say this happened recently.
13. "Do you carry Ipod Touches?" "Yes, We do, We have an 8gb for $195, and a 32gb for $295" "Which one is cheaper?"
14. "The computers have built in internet, right?" "..No".
15. "Do ya'll have Twilight Eclipse yet?" "Ma'm, That's not even in theaters" "Yeah it is, I already saw the trailer on Entertainment Tonight".
16. "Where do I buy minutes for my GPS?".
17. "I bought a memory card for my phone, and it has my music on it, but I can't listen to it on my phone" "I'm not sure sir, maybe it's the wrong format?" "Wait...do you have to turn the phone on to listen to the music?" "Yes sir..." "Oh, My bad".
18. "Where are the Avatar brand Tv's yall had in the paper?" "I'm sorry, what?" "Here, it's right in the ad, I want that Avatar TV, it looks like it's popping out at me" "Ma'm, that's an advertisement for the Movie Avatar, the TV is a Phillips" "No, I want the Avatar Tv".
19. "Yo, my girl was sending me some pics, and my screen went out, and I got so mad that I cracked the screen. Can i exchange it?" "No sir, the crack voided the warranty" "Well i want a new picture phone, I haven't seen my girl naked in days" "Sorry?"
20. "Ey yo, My girlfriend came in, and you sold her the wrong memory card for her phone." "Oh? Let me see the phone....Sir, could you show me where you've been putting the card?" "Yeah, Right here, it won't fit, I've tried all day" "Sir, you've been trying to put the card in the Charger Slot...." "Oh forreal? I'ma give my girl a stinky for that one".
21. "Hey bro, I wanna buy these weighted clothes here" "Ok" "Yeah, I figure if I wear these weighted training clothes, and get as fast with them on as I am usually, I'll be as fast as the flash when I take them off" "Haha...I don't think it works like that" Then to top it off, His Dad: "Yea...h, He's the Brains of the family" we laughed, and he was like "No, I'm Serious".
22. "I bought this damn phone card, and scratched it off with my knife, and there were no numbers to activate it" "Sir, your knife dug so deep, that it took the numbers off the card." "Eff that, I want a manager." The manager came, agreed with me, and (Continued)
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was cussed out by the man, who was... subsequently banned from the store.
23. A guy bought a 42 inch Television. The man: "So, What does the extended warranty cover?" Me: "It covers any defects the TV might have, pretty much anything is covered, as long as you don't Drop it or Punch it". The Man: "Ha, That's just common sense". Later in the day, we received a returned TV, Same Size, Same Brand, from the same guy. A picture of that tv:
24. "hey, where are yall's records at?" "Um, we don't carry records, only cd's" "You're kidding! Since when?" "About 20 years ago."
25. "Hey man, can I buy this verizon phone, no strings attached?" "Yeah, you can, but you'll have to pay the full price" "How much is that?" "It's 264 dollars, before tax" "Ok, can I pay it in Food Stamps?"
26 . little kid: "hey, i want red dead redemption" Me: "sorry, you have to be 17 to buy this" kid: "ok, heres my mom" Me:"mam, this game contains intense violence, intense language, sex, gore and drug use, do you still want to get it for him?" Mother: "i dont see why not"
27. A man comes to the register with a Pile of 5 dollar movies "Ok, your total is 36.50" "Umm...I only have 4 dollars..soo" "..."
28. "I don't want this TV, the box is all taped up" "Uhh, Ma'm, Every TV box is taped up like that" "Why would they tape the box?" "To keep the TV box closed..." "Oh, well I've never seen that done" "Uh huh.."
29. "ey yo, i need you to activate my phone" "im sorry sir, we dont activate prepaid phones. There are step by step instructions how to activate it in the box" "wtf? You sell it but dont activate it? Thats like giving a baby a gun!" "sir, that was the worst comparison ive ever heard. Are you sa...ying we should teach babys to use firearms?"
30. "hey, can you fix my phone? The background has a black line on it, and i didnt notice it until just now." "Sir, i don't see a line. Wait...sir, theres a scratch on your sunglasses..." "...."
31. "i was looking at your tv with the built in dvd players. Where do yall keep the dvd players? In the back?" "sir, they're built in..."
32. "If I choose the 1 hour photo option, how long will it be before I get my pictures back?" "...1 hour"
33. "my camera wont turn on, and I've tried everything." "have you tried different batteries?" "its not the damn batteries" "well I'm going to try new batteries in for good measure." put batteries in, and the camera starts working. After being proved wrong, the man continued to argue that it wasn't the batteries.
34. "Can you help me? I'm trying to find a James Otto CD, and I can't find anything the way ya'll have your cd's organized" "Sir, it's called alphabetical order".
35. "I want to price match this game with target, they have it for 49 dollars" "Ma'm, we can't price match that if it's not in the sales ad" "Well that's bull! yall is walmart, its your policy." Since I was tired of dealing with her, I price matched it. The game at our store was 39 dollars. I changed the price to 49 dollars as she wanted.
8. It's amazing how many people bring their non-service animals into the store. I don't have a problem with dogs and such, but when I see the small dog you are carrying scratch and dander falls onto the vegetables you are looking over, we got a problem.
9. I worked at Wal-Mart in the toy department 10 years ago right out of high school for extra money. The amount of parents who would "drop their children off" in the toy department like I was a baby sitter was out of this world. By the time they had left it would be a disaster area, on more than one occasion I would see them running down an aisle with their arms outstretched just knocking stuff on the floor. When the parents would come back there was no "Hey let's pick all this up", they'd just leave.
I only lasted a few months. I actually quit a week before Black Friday because we had an instance at our "morning meeting" where some of the veteran employees were (Continued)
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telling us what to expect on Black Friday from customers. Examples include being spat on, pulled by the arms, knocked over, shoved, tripped, screamed at, hair pulled, threatened, etc. I went on break and didn't come back. Not worth minimum wage.
10. Not so much "people" but rather another worker. Meet Gary.
Gary is 81 years old, he also fought in the Vietnam. Gary is a little short cute old man however... Gary is absolutely ridiculous.
Let's go through everything Gary told me before I left for school:
The Kennedy's committed the atrocities of 9/11. Yep. The entire gang was in on it, JFK, RFK, Ted, Ed, John.. "Why else do you think JFK and RFK were assassinated?!"
"Agent Orange is for idiots".
Obama gave two statements after Charleston. One to the country and another to his cabinet that said they were going to take all the guns.
Sandy Hook was fake because Joe Biden actually adopted all of the fake victims so we would never seen them again.
He owned a bunch of real estate in California and owned adult video stores... He actively went to porn conventions and said that he was the committee to determine if someone could be a pornstar so that meant he got to have sex with a bunch of girls.
Black people by law can't be police officers. Like, what??
"If you want to WOOO (yeah he said it like Ric Flair) a female, you just gotta ask me for some times" "alright thanks Gary, I have a girlfriend though" "My girlfriend's got a nice butt" "Okay Gary"
Gary wasn't just delusional, Gary also didn't have a filter:
Woman with large breasts walks past him "DID YOU SEE THOSE BOOBIES ON HER?!" She heard him.
"I had sex with my girlfriend last night" "Gary aren't you like 80?" "Viagra"
Gary wasn't just both delusional and obnoxious.. He was defiant. From day 1 to my last day, he had a theory that the boss was out to get him and that the boss always got upset over petty things... He used to say "Eff that Dave!" But our boss didn't get upset over petty things and his name was Bill. I miss weirdo Gary.
11. I worked at Walmart last year as a cashier, and a woman came up to my register with nothing but a pineapple, and a damaged one at that. It was 10pm on a Tuesday, so it was a slow night, and she demanded I give her this pineapple for 25 cents because it was damaged. I didn't see any damage, so I asked he to show me the damage. She promptly ripped the top greens off the pineapple, and said (Continued)
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"See it now?" I called my manager over and he said he can't sell it to her for a discount, and he's sorry, but she can get another one. She cursed, threw the pineapple at me, and walked out mumbling about needing a cigarette. She was a prime example of trailer trash, but damn she threw that pineapple hard.
12. Mother's Day 2013, I was CSMing and handling the day as best as could be expected on a Sunday holiday where the employee's were mostly female mothers. We had 13 call outs and 5 no-call no-shows.
I had 5 poor women to handle the whole Sunday. Lines were long, I knew it, I didn't have anyone in the store coming to help, management couldn't spare anyone. They understaffed on purpose.
So I hear a call over the radio that someone has busted an aerosol can and they needed the one maintenance associate on shift to deal with it. Apparently some jerk teenagers thought it would be funny to "pop" about 5 air freshener spray cans and let them spin and spit eye stinging chemicals.
I'm getting yelled at by a blue-haired old woman about the lines when I get the call that made me regret waking up that day and coming to work. "See that kid in the orange shoes to your left? Stop him" okay, why? "He pooped himself and is tracking feces all over. I'm trying to find his mother on the cameras right now"
Oh great... Now I have a feces covered 5 year old to look after on top of everything...
"Find mom yet?" Yep, she was in the parking lot shooting heroin.
Cops came... I had to mop up feces. Mom went to jail for possession with intent, neglect, and other felonious activities. Kid got cleaned up. I bought him new underwear and pants and socks and I hosed off his shoes. He went with a social worker.
I wanted to quit after that day.
13. I don't work at Walmart; but when I was half way across the country visiting some friends the Walmart in their town had a meth lab bust in the men's restroom.
14. Not a worker, but standing in line one night, a lady seemed to be having a hard time being a parent to her 3-year-old daughter. At one point, the kid asks if she can have a candy bar that was next to the register. The exchange went like this:
"Mommy, can I have a Snickers?"
"I don't give a damn."
(Kid tries to reach up for candy)
"I can't reach it, can you help me?"
"YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU GET THE CANDY!? YOU NEED TO GET A [FRICKIN] JOB!
15. So last year I worked at a Walmart super center as a cart pusher. You tend to see a lot strange stuff in the parking lot so all of the weird stuff doesn't even get your attention after a while. Part of the cart pusher's job is to bring back the store scooters after people leave them in the parking lot. One day I see an old woman outside the store just sitting on a scooter. This lady must have sat there for a good 2 hours before finally getting up to reveal a gigantic poo stain all over the lower back of her hoodie, running down her pants. This other lady who saw the whole thing comes sprinting up the scooter and sits down on it before I could even clean it. She looked at me and said "I don't care, hun. It was the last one left and my legs are killin' me."
You never know anyone quite as well as you think you do.
Even your closest friends and family members have a way of surprising you upon revealing something about their past, or their interests and hobbies.
Sometimes, however, surprised doesn't even begin to cover how you feel about what you just learned.
Some people are so good at covering up sad, dark, even despicable elements of their lives, that you would never have known had you not somehow found out yourself.
Even if it's debatable whether or not you're better off knowing this information.
"What's the most disturbing piece of information you've found out about someone you've known personally?"
Never Who You Might Expect
"Years ago, I became very close with a manager of mine and we hung out after work pretty often."
"He seemed like a genuinely great guy."
"He moved back to his hometown years later and we kept in touch on Facebook until he just stopped responding."
"Then I went to try to message him again and his profile was gone."
"I decided to google him, half expecting to find an obituary or something but instead I found out he was charged with some sh*t and in jail."
"I never got any kind of weird vibes from him and I'm still shocked."- CocoTandy
"I know a girl from my hometown who would have Skype calls with Ian Watkins (lost prophets) horrific man."
"The Skype calls involved her child."- vapekittenx
Doesn't Make Him Any Less Guilty
"My uncle on my dad's side of the family was an accomplice of a murder in the 80’s."
"He didn’t make the kill, but he helped the murder take place."
"Found out by my mom last year."- X0vel
Old Habits Die Hard
"When I was about 12 my family found out that my dad cheated on my mom, as well as every other ex-wife he had before her."
'Now, years later, women still recognize my mom as the one who was married to that one awful guy."
"One woman met her in a bar and ended up telling her stories about how my dad would stalk her again and again."
"Once she even had to call her own dad to escort him off their property because he wouldn’t leave."
'All of this happened while he was married to my mom."- Ryry_Duppie
There Are No Words...
"He honestly believed he was God's chosen representative on Earth, and therefore, no one was allowed to defy him or God would allow him to punish him."
"As you can guess, he was charged with domestic battery several times, and got into a lot of fights (he usually lost, he was obese, and couldn't move very fast)."
"He was stalking some poor woman, and he showed up at her house and demanded she leave her husband and come with him as God had given her to him as his slave, and he tried to force his way in, and she shot and killed him."
"We're a castle doctrine state, so she didn't get in any trouble."- Local64bithero
"In my teens I knew a guy recently out of prison."
"There was another guy in the neighborhood who everyone hated."
"He would just cruise the block in his car because anytime he stayed anywhere too long, people would confront him."
"Everyone hated this guy."
"Prison guy was in his late teens, guy everyone hated was in his early twenties and dating a girl who I believe was sixteen."
"Not long after getting out prison guy got into it with the guy everyone hated."
"It wasn't difficult, the guy was just incapable of acting in a way that didn't make you want to punch him."
"But he couldn't fight so he'd make himself scarce and then good luck finding him."
"But prison guy wasn't giving up so easily so he kidnapped the other guy's girlfriend."
"Nothing cinematic he just went by her school and got her in a car then told her she wasn't allowed to leave until her boyfriend showed up."
"Boyfriend, not one to back down from a scumbag contest, told her she's on her own."
"In the end the girl ended up dating prison guy."
"I don't even know who the story is about anymore."
"They were all very unique people."- MrFunktasticc
Refused To Believe Her
"My grandfather was a very big/loved name in my local community, and after he died my grandmother revealed that he was very abusive."
"It only became more disturbing when everyone cut her off because they loved him so much they refused to believe her."- MediaGullible282
Gave Away A Little Too Much?
"A random former acquaintance got very drunk in front of me and heavily insinuated that he had gotten away with murder several years earlier as an enforcer in a street gang."- stoplightdrop
Manipulating People's Compassion
"This is probably tame compared to others on here but my ex-best-friend lied about having brain cancer for 2 years."
"She also impersonated drs to verify her story to the people she was lying to."- SpeckledCloud
Why, One Wonders...
"I’ve worked w two people who faked pregnancies."
'One was a guy who said his girlfriend was pregnant and wasn’t dragged that on for months."
"Another was a woman who said she was pregnant and dragged it on for months and months until our employers caught on."- elizscott1977
Currying Favor Doesn't Always Work...
"That a close relative was only being nice to me because they would Inherit my belongings after I died."
"Let's just say that side of the relatives don't exist for me anymore."- No-Power1377
It's truly unsettling how good some people are at hiding their true selves.
Making you wonder if you can really trust anyone...
If you or someone you know experienced sexual assault, help is out there. You can reach the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline by calling 1-800-656-4673, use their Live Chat tool: https://www.rainn.org/get-help, or visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.
In Canada, help is available through the Ending Violence Association of Canada website.
International resources can be found through the Rape Crisis Network Europe website.
We can't be brilliant every second of every day.
Even the Mensa-level brains that walk among us have their off moments.
It is inescapable.
Sometimes IQ doesn't matter.
Redditor SnooTomatoes1254 wanted hear about the times the brightest of us may have come across as the dimmest, so they asked:
"What's the best example of a smart person being incredibly stupid you've ever experienced?"
Nobody is perfect.
Even with a bunch of brain cells.
RemoteBlack Magic School GIF by Little MixGiphy
"Our physics professor once had held a remote lecture without turning his Google Meet on. So he just spoke to the computer for 1.5 hours."
"I used to work at a chemical engineering plant. One day I was in the kitchen washing my glasses with a drop of dish soap and one of the lead engineers said I shouldn’t wash my glasses like that. I asked him why not and he responded that I will wash the prescription off."
"While he’s dumb, you could wash off any coatings on your glasses, making them more susceptible to glare, fogging, and other bad things."
Class is in Session
"Oh, I almost forgot about this one! When I was in my final year of physics at University, we had a professor who would get very irritated at the pull string for the projection screen, as it would dangle down in front of the whiteboard."
"Every morning, he would spend a good couple minutes attempting to throw the weight on the end over the light fixture above the whiteboard, taking anywhere from 5 to 30 tries each time. All the students would give tips and encouragement, and this became a kind of inside joke for the class of how long it would take every morning."
"Months go by, and one day near the end of the quarter, we end up with a substitute. The sub goes to the board and, without hesitation, grabs the string and hooks it over a thumbtack stuck in the cork at the top of the whiteboard."
"The entire class literally gasped in unison! The sub whirled around, asking what happened, and the whole class just starts laughing. Eventually, someone explained what happened, and we all had a good laugh that an entire class of physics majors never even thought of that solution, let alone noticed that the tack had always been there for that purpose."
Leading to Tragedy
"My brother-in-law had a Masters degree in Physics and Maths. He was a teacher at a high school. He had a new house built. He thought he would save money by nailing on the drywall (sheetrock, Gib board). He managed to put nails through a hot water pipe and the wiring."
"By the time he'd paid a plumber and electrician to fix up the mess it cost a lot more."
ForwardCant Speak Nathan Fillion GIFGiphy
"University physics professor at a Hyundai dealership arguing with a tech telling him about the noise in his car. The professor was freaking out saying he couldn't even understand what the tech was trying to say, because the tech said 'centrifugal force,' instead of 'Centripetal force.'"
"The conversation could not move forward. It was weird."
Hyundais came be dangerous. Now we know why.
I need a Check-Upjohn stamos sexy smile GIF by ScreamQueensGiphy
"My doctor. During the period of my life in which I was dating my ex gf my doctor would INSIST every time I saw him that I needed to be on birth control because it was responsible to be preventing pregnancy. No matter how many times I told him that I was in a monogamous relationship with a woman he would still keep asking. I guess it it just didn’t compute."
In the Rain
"My sister has been driving her bf's truck for a year. We get in the truck to go somewhere, she says wait, I need to go in the house to get a paper towel to dry off the windshield. I say, why don't you use the wipers? She says, I don't know how. I ask, what do you do when it rains? Answer: I stay home."
Stripped and Unplugged
"I worked IT at a university. We got a call saying a printer would not turn on. The particular person who called was a very steriotypical, 'I have a doctorate I know all the things,' kind of person. Anyway, I get to the classroom and they show me the printer proclaiming they checked everything including the power strip, unplugged it, plugged it back in and all that. They were very irate and rude the whole time I was there."
"While I was looking it over they were getting more upset because they had already checked the power cables and they were fine. Without saying anything I unplugged the power strip from itself, plugged it into the wall then turned on the printer and just walked out."
"My father in law is very intelligent. He taught himself how to solve a rubics cube without looking anything up and is generally a genius in math, logic, puzzles what have you. He believes dinosaurs couldn't be real because they would be too big for their skeletons to uphold their weight. He has lots of other really stupid ideas because he is so intelligent he thinks he can just reason himself into correct conclusions without doing research or adhering to the scientific process."
Grass Issuesjeremy davies lawnmower GIFGiphy
"Well, my cousin who has two freaking masters degrees in finance and economics, put his hand in still spinning lawnmower to help it blow out rest of grass faster. He lost a finger."
"I asked why he didn’t wait till it stopped completely."
"He said it was just in a hurry."
I've never trusted a lawnmower.
And now, neither should you.
Coming out is never easy.
Even in this day and age it comes with a touch of drama.
Of course we have to acknowledge how society has come a long, LOOOONG way with this topic.
The LGBTQ+ community of today definitely has a more welcoming world to announce themselves to.
But the truth is, it's still an intimate experience one must come to terms with.
And there is always that moment when... you know.
No matter your age, you still have the A-HA realization.
Redditor Haunting-Golf9761 was hoping everyone would be willing to share some intimate life secrets, by asking:
"Gay people of Reddit, what was the moment it clicked 'Yeah I’m gay?'"
I knew after an intimate evening with a woman.
It all just... made sense.
HERstarbucks pretty girl GIFGiphy
"Looked at a girl and thought 'If I was a guy, I'd date her,' and realized I didn't need to be a guy to date her. I was not brave enough to speak to that girl though."
"2018 summer olympics. Realized I had been watching men's water polo, alone, for eight hours."
"I don't know why but this made me laugh. I’d watch men’s Polo, Diving, and Swimming and get amped. But like, I’d also be drooling over abs and butts."
"Lmfao this absolutely tracks. I'm bi AF and was OBSESSED with couples skating because everybody was so God da**ed beautiful and the chemistry was off the chain 🤣. The Olympics had a chokehold GRIP on me as a teen."
I Get It Now
"I'm bi, but I realized I wasn't straight while watching the Lizzie McGuire Movie when I was like 8-9. I was in the backseat on a long car ride watching on my portable DVD player. There's a scene near the end where Lizzie is on stage singing and the camera shot is behind her. I remember pausing the movie and staring at her butt for a good while wondering why it made me feel a certain way. A few years later I found my uncle's playboy magazines and it suddenly all made sense."
"An episode of Star Trek the Next Generation where they showed Riker’s hairy chest. I learned not only that I was gay, but a lot about my specific type of gay."
Gays in space. We're everywhere.
"I'm not gay but Bi with a heavy female lean. I always thought some guys were cute, heard of Grindr went on and hooked up with one I thought was cute."
"When I was really really young I used to have erotic dreams with guys (thanks, He-Man), but didn't think much about it. That's when the internal conflicts started."
"I knew I needed to be married to a woman and have family just like every man in my family did. I feared being singled out, because I lived in a retrograde place where honor killings were common. There were no homosexual s in my family, why me? By the age of 15, I had abandoned the idea of marrying a woman and keeping homosexual affairs as some people do and decided to be upfront with me parents."
"I told them I was gay, and they seemed to take somewhat well. Deep down, they did not."
"It took years for them to truly accept me, but I can say that I have a good life. Not the one that was envisioned for me all those years ago."
"I was 8 when my brother (6 years older) was recording the last Nirvana concert and I said David Grohl was cute. I didn't really know what it meant to be attracted to someone, but I was drawn to him and the words just came out. My brother said 'That means you're GAY!!!!' which I didn't understand what gay was yet but his tone made me respond 'Nuh uh!!!'"
"Turns out he was right. When I was 13ish I found my brother's porn magazines and found myself uninterested in the ones that were just women. That's probably when it fully dawned on me. Still kept it to myself until I was in college and out of my small rural hometown."
Back in the Day
"Looking back, I definitely had feelings for women just as much as I did men. I just either didn't realize or was in denial about it. I was 20 when a girl crush really hit me hard and I started to realize it but was still confused for some time. Finally around age 24 I came out to my brother as bi, and much to my relief he did as well!"
BreathlessKate Winslet Yes GIF by EmmysGiphy
"My senior year of high school, Titanic was re-released in 3D for the 100 year anniversary of the disaster. Being my favorite movie of all time, my dad took me to see it at the closest IMAX theater."
"I caught myself trying to control my breathing during the nude drawing scene so that my dad didn’t catch on to the fact that I was super into seeing Kate Winslet’s breasts in towering 3D."
Who doesn't love Titanic.
We thank these brave souls for sharing their stories.
Do you have something similar to share? Let us know in the comments below.
We can all agree here that the dating life can be really hard to put up with, but we have to admit that dating also has its moments.
And sometimes those moments are cool enough to lead to a second date.
Redditor EmCWolf13 asked:
"What is a 'green flag' you've experienced on a first date that made you want to have a second date?"
"On our third date, we watched a movie at his place. He remembered that on our first date, I ordered a Dr. Pepper with my meal and a chocolate chip cookie for dessert."
"He had Dr. Pepper for me in the fridge and made me homemade chocolate chip cookies."
"He burned them but I married him two years later anyways."
A Solid Tipper
"When my girlfriend and I had our first date, her mom sent her with 50 bucks (just in case I made her pay, I guess)."
"Since I paid, she made the waiter cry by tipping him the whole 50 bucks; apparently, he was having a bad day."
"We had been dating about six months and she showed up at my apartment with a homemade cake on my birthday."
"It might sound like no big deal to some people, but I had never dated a girl who cared about my birthday. I almost dropped to my knees and cried when I opened the door."
Valuing Someone Else's Time
"She was an hour late. However, the entire time, she was texting me updates and telling me what she was doing to get there. We are going to be celebrating our one-year anniversary on 1/1."
"She came to my door, and my puppy got excited. Without skipping a beat, she scooped up the dog, and asked where the THREE of us were going."
"That was 19 years ago. Puppy is gone but we've stuck together through h*ll and back."
"Sense of humor and feeling safe."
"I was living in Reno, Nevada at the time and this is my current relationship. The first date we went to downtown Reno to Hot August Nights. We walked through the event, viewing all the hot rod cars, and for dinner, we went to Subway."
"He is easy to talk to, and very funny. We took the bus from downtown to midtown viewing all the hot rods. Walked from midtown to my apartment in south Reno. Was the best night of my life so far. I love him so much."
The Little Things
"She appreciates all the small things. Biggest green flag."
Like an Old Friend
"We met up for park beers on our first date. From the get-go, things just felt natural. The conversation flowed, we laughed, and it felt more like meeting with an old friend than a first date. When it got dark, she brought me back to hers to meet her cat (no innuendo, we waited for a few dates to bang, and I just really love cats)."
"We didn't plan to, but we met up the next day. And the next. Took her to a family BBQ two weeks in, and they loved her. That easy, natural feeling never left. And right now her cat (now our cat) is screaming at me for dinner."
A Giving Spirit
"Not the first date, but the moment I knew I was gonna marry this man... We went grocery shopping."
"It was about 9 PM, and we had both just been paid. The young lady in line in front of us had a very young baby and was paying with WIC coupons and a food stamp EBT card."
"Her total came to about $22, and she was holding a $20. She looked dejected and put back the one and only thing that was probably her splurge, a candy bar and an energy drink."
"Other than that, she had baby food, diapers, chicken, rice, bananas, formula, wipes, the bare minimum."
"I turned around to tell my now-husband to hand me my wallet."
"I didn't have to. He already had his out, took out a $50 bill, handed it to her, and told her to keep the change. He changed her week, he changed my life. That was THE moment I knew he was it for me."
An Extended Date
"We met in a nightclub, I took him home for some fun and games. When we woke up and had breakfast, he said, 'What would you like to do today?' instead of just leaving his number and doing the dash."
"We’ve been together for 27 years and married for 15 of them, and we’ve almost never spent a night apart."
"First date, she was driving us to a spot to go hiking, about an hour’s drive. We’re talking and talking, but every once in a while we wouldn’t be talking, and it just felt so comfortable and not awkward being silent together."
Pay It Forward
"First date with my now wife. Had plans to go to a fancy Italian restaurant. I show up a bit early, dressed as nice as my wardrobe allows, a couple of drinks before she gets there."
"But anyway she arrives and we enjoy dinner, drinks, appetizers, and dessert. The works."
"Anyway when it’s time for the check the waitress comes over and says, 'A person who prefers to remain anonymous picked up y'all tab and told me to tell y’all to continue to enjoy the night.'"
"We were both shocked. I wasn’t keeping tabs but this was an expensive meal we just had. I tipped well of course and I thought to myself the only reason anyway would do that is they say an obvious first date unfolding and thought we were cute/happy/genuine or something."
"We both felt pretty special. Been married for three years. Together for 8. We eventually paid it forward to another young couple years later."
"Total boss move by the way. Definitely feel good about yourself."
"We stayed at the wine bar much longer than planned, and we were trying to race to a restaurant for food before places closed. So, I offered her a piggyback ride to run it, due to her wearing heels. She jumped on, threw her arm forward, and yelled, 'Onward!'"
"We didn't make it to the restaurant in time, but did end up at the nearby diner for a few more hours. Been married just passed 3 years now, and leaving for our honeymoon (FINALLY, thanks to the pandemic), in 10 hours."
"He made it clear it was a date and that he was interested without it ever feeling creepy or like he was pressuring me for anything."
"We talked for hours, went from restaurant to walking up and down the river to my place for a beer, then I offered for him to stay over but on a mattress on the floor (I was in a studio with no couch), not in my bed and he wasn’t pushy about anything more happening."
"The first few weeks he was always sweet and respectful but made it so clear that he was interested in a relationship, no back and forth or second guessing. And now we’re married!"
An Easy Bet
"A two-hour date that felt like five minutes. At the end of it she made some silly bet with me that she said if she lost, she’d go out with me again. And of course, she lost."
"It was about eight green flags."
All of these stories are sweet and sure to leave a smile on someone's face.
Sometimes dating is really easy, and when it comes to seeing a future with someone, sometimes you just know.
Do you have similar dating experiences? Let us know in the comments below.