Waiters, waitresses, and bartenders of Reddit who were involved in some big moments in some people's lives were asked: "How did you mess it up for them?" These are some of the best answers.
I promptly say my hellos and say something alone the lines of, "Hey you have a son right!? How old is he now?" Turns out their son passed when he was 5 due to cancer.. Wife of course is tearing up and excuses herself. Never felt like such a piece of [crap].
2/24 I accidentally split a small amount of white wine on a woman's coat while clearing the floor. She instantly gets this look of vehement anger and disgust on her face but before she can say anything her husband butts in. "Oh thank god! That coat is hideous."
They were both drunk and really pissed off with each other. I apologised and tried to escape. The wife kept following me around trying to yell at me but the husband just kept stopping her mid-sentence, commenting on her horrible clothes and how he wished I would spill stuff on all her belongings.
They eventually started yelling and screaming at each other and were escorted out by security.
3/24 Family of about 15 people are out for this man's 40th birthday party. His wife is a vegetarian, has been for 23 years. She tells the waiter, who's only been a server for like a month. She orders a vegetarian hamburger with blacken seasoning (which is like cajun seasoning, but makes the burger look black).
Cool, this mf hits the button for a turkey burger, doesn't check when he grabs the tray, and gives it to her. So it's covered in this spicy seasoning that doesn't really let the color of the patty sow, and she eats most of the burger before she realizes it's not vegetarian.
She lost her [mind]. The party of 15 people all walk out without paying (manager said he'd comp their meals), but they just dipped. She sent multiple emails to corporate, she was vomiting all night. Didn't eat for like four days after. Like 1000 word emails that are straight rage.
Ok, so if this happened to me, I'd never go back to that restaurant. But she couldn't resist all that free [stuff] the corporate managers were going to give her to stop bashing the restaurant. They fired the [bad] waiter, gave her hella freebies, and she comes back.
First time back, just a nice dinner with her husband, she orders a vegetarian burger, tells the waitress she's been a vegetarian for 23 years, pls make sure it's vegetarian.
Veggie burger comes out with bacon on it. Bruh.
4/24 Valentine's Day, 1993. I'll never forget the shame. I was waiting tables in college and our restaurant had replaced all the big tables in the dining room with bistro style 2 tops. Real close together. For couples. It was 9:00 and we were packed. I grabbed a plate off one table, trying to be quick but discreet. When I brought my arm straight back with the plate, I moved too far. There was another one of those 2 tops inches from my back. My right elbow caught a 60 year old lady right at the base of her skull. HARD. Knocked her smooth out. Face-planted into her dinner.
The whole dining room gasped. I freaked. Manager freaked. Her husband freaked. Everybody freaked. Except her. When she came to a few seconds later, she was the sweetest, most gracious, kind person you've ever met. Face covered in fish and asparagus, but she could NOT have been nicer. Which made me feel even worse, of course. We comped their meal, gave them a $100 gift card, and basically offered to be their slaves. But they wouldn't hear of it. They even tipped. That was 20 years ago and I STILL feel awful about it.
5/24 Birthday party for a families grandfather. It was a nice little cake with some type of ww2 fighter plane stuck on top of it because he was a veteran. Presented the cake they sang all is fine and dandy. So many comments on how awesome the cake looks, grandpa is so grateful for his family getting him a thoughtful cake. Tells me how excited he is.
Go back to cut the cake with the pantry girl and we drop the cake and it is all smashed all over the floor.
I felt so terrible. Grandpa was understanding and didn't care too much. But daughter was pissed and basically in tears.
6/24 I lost an engagement ring on Valentine's Day when my restaurant was completely packed and super busy. My manager stalled dessert at that table for about an hour while I looked and still served all of my other tables. The ring box slipped through a hole in my apron, got kicked around by servers who only step ON or OVER things in the kitchen, so I found the box after about 20 minutes in one place and the ring 40 minutes later in the most disgusting pile of grit and grime under the stove.
The guy wasn't stupid and he figured that I had lost the ring, but my manager saved the day by sending someone to the bakery across the street and getting an elaborate cake to make it seem as if we had them wait in order to prepare such a wonderful surprise. Plus he kept the drinks flowing at their table. The special cake, free bottle of champagne and finally the ring made everything work out in the end...for the couple. I had to pay for the cake, all of their drinks and a $150 bottle of champagne.
7/24 It was the grandma's fault but I worked for a Mexican restaurant in college and we had to use these huge trays. Anyway I'm walking a tray loaded with chips and queso as well as about seven margaritas served in oversized glassware. There is only enough room between the table and the divider for me to walk behind the people. Well this grandma decides to abruptly back into me as I'm walking by fully loaded and the whole tray spills all over this poor girl who just graduated from college. She is crying like hysterical and I'm trying to clean up when my manager just tells me to go home. [Crappy] thing was I needed the money for rent. Never went back after that.
8/24 So I was a host at a restaurant but I would kinda help everyone who looked like they needed help. My manager one day asked if I wanted to come in on a day we are usually closed because there is a large party celebrating 3 children. It was a confirmation, a first communion and a birthday party for 3 siblings combined.
I had never done this before but I was handed a big tray with about 15 glasses of water on them. I ended up taking all the glasses from one side and when it started to not be balanced I over corrected and about 5 glasses of water tipped over on my tray and the lip of the tray was like a water slide. It launched 5 glasses worth of water at the 5 year old who just had her first communion in this beautiful white dress.
I was mortified and ran inside the kitchen while the other servers and bussers helped tidy up. When I came out the mom was waiting for me and pulled me aside.
She said "Hey, everyone told me that its your first day doing this job. Don't worry, it was an accident. It was just water, she wasn't upset and we aren't mad either. Everyone thinks it is a great story that we can talk about for a while."
I was so relieved she was that nice and forgiving but deep down, I think I [messed] up that day.
9/24 I ruined a family's vacation, apparently. I was a server at an oceanfront restaurant in the Myrtle Beach area about five years ago. Summer tourist season was in full swing, and there were happy, sunburnt families everywhere. We were on a long wait, so there were people waiting outside on the front patio until they were called for their table. There was also seating outside on the same patio, and I had a table out there. The front door to the restaurant was large and wooden, and only had a small window at the top that resembled a window on a boat.
I was running around like [mad] during dinner rush, and was taking drinks outside to my table. I pushed the front door open with vigor, and proceeded to knock a little girl down who was standing in front of it. As soon as I heard the loud "thump," I knew something horrible had happened. I see the girl on the ground SCREAMING bloody murder. Luckily, I don't see any blood. Momma Bear starts yelling her head off at me. Like, in my face, telling me they were leaving, and thanking me for ruining their vacation on the first day. I was trying SO hard to be sympathetic because I have a bad habit of laughing when I get really nervous. She talked to the manager and left. I didn't get in trouble. I was just happy I didn't spill my table's tray full of drinks during the ordeal.
10/24 For a little more pizzazz the people brought in sparklers to add to the cake instead of just candles. The waitress lights them...now you probably have only lit sparklers outside so you, like all parties involved here, have no idea how much smoke they emit. It was enough to engage the fire alarm...no sprinklers, but ear piercing alarm and emergency lighting....on a Saturday night during the dinner rush. We had to evacuate and wait for the fire department. Lots of people who already ate just left. It was a fun little, calm, relaxing change of pace compared to the chaos of a typical Saturday night in a restaurant.
11/24 Long story short, dude says, "Hey, I want to propose, can you help me?" as he hands me a ring. Ok, this would be cool if the family of 14 was just walking in. Dude said this as I'm taking away the plate of his main course. Yeah, they are basically done. Really dude? We are a well known, high end place. We can do some pretty awesome stuff...with time. People phone such information in, a few months in advance.
I quickly grab two servers and tell them to take full control of my other 2 tables. I grab my manager, and two of us head to our barkey. We get the kitchen manager involved. 5-10 minutes later, we have a large platter, maybe 14 inches by 14 inches, fully decorated with special desserts, freshly drawn designs bordering the whole plate, and "Will you marry me?" written in the middle, with one desert holding the ring. I walk out, and he already makes eye contact with me. I wink to let him know it's on.
I approach the table and say roughly, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we appreciate your return business so we have a little complimentary dessert to enjoy." I place it down directly in front of the couple. There are some gasps, he gets down on one knee, she's crying, YES, cell phone pictures, and then my manager comes out with some comped champagne. Later, one of the moms says, "I was looking for you earlier to ask for some coffee, but I guess you were busy with more important stuff huh?"
12/24 We had a dude, Dan, who would come in regularly but with different women on separate occasions. Ruby was his wife, Jessica was his girlfriend. Now he's a regular, the whole staff knows this and feels terrible but what can we do? We can't cause a scene by telling the wife, we'd get fired. And we have to be pleasant to the dude and whichever woman he's with or we get in trouble with our manager. But each of the serving staff dreads having them sit in our section because it means having to fake like you don't know the [jerk] was in there Monday night with another woman.
They sit down in my section. I roll up with my cheery fake smile to take an order. Now I don't know why I did this, but since they've been regulars forever so I do some banter about its nice to see them again this week, they tell me it's their five year anniversary. I say "Oh that's sweet" or something and I ask Dan for his order take it, and turn to his wife.
"So Jessica, it's a special night what can I get to make it perfect for you?" Her face turns to stone. Oh god. I called her the girlfriend's name.
I try to correct it but it's too late. Ruby rounds on Dan and hisses "You bring your [other woman] here?" Dan asks me to get my manager. I scurry off as the screaming match begins. The manager, in between Ruby loudly verbally skewering Dan for being faithless, asks them to leave.
Manager comes back and tells me that I'm fired. He thinks, and Dan apparently insisted, I did it on purpose.
13/24 Today we had a birthday so 6 of us got together to do the customary whooping and hollering to the table. As we were walking out, the yelling woke up a small baby. Our announcer yelled, "Mike is celebrating his 26th birthday, help us give him a hand!" 'Mike' leans over and, in a half whisper says, "My name is Brandon." Our announcer is so embarrassed, she drops his cake onto the floor.
14/24 I'm a hostess at a fine dining restaurant. For birthdays and anniversaries we add either birthday confetti or rose petals to the table to decorate it for the guests. I was seating a couple and since it said it was their anniversary on their reservation notes I took the rose petals with me and as they sat down I sprinkled them at the table and said something like "since you're celebrating your anniversary we like to decorate the table for you". The guy looked up and said "it's our anniversary?!" And the girl then got pissed and screamed "YES. why do you think we came here?!" I then gave them their menus and left as fast as I possibly could and told my coworkers about the incident.
15/24 My manager was helping me with this group of girls who had a birthday. I thought let's make it fun and grab everyone's attention and sing for this girl. For some reason my manager thought he should crack a joke so he asks the girl how old is she turning and she responded with "18" with some giggles. So he then proceeds to yell "YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!" He takes a break to build the suspense and then shouts "SHES LEGAL!" Not a single person laughed. Everyone just stared at us and the girl sitting just became super weirded out. Anyways it was a super awkward happy birthday song and a swift exit from the ladies.
16/24 Spilled beer on a woman who had invited her family out to dinner to announce her pregnancy. The woman wasn't too upset (she got a HUGE discount), but my manager was PISSED.
17/24 There was a baby shower at a restaurant I worked at during university - it was in a separate room away from the entrance, I had been directing guests for at least half an hour when a very pregnant women and her friend walked in. They were looking a little lost so I asked if they were there for the baby shower as I had with all the other guests and the pregnant lady looked shocked and the friend looked extremely angry, turns out it was a surprise and they hadn't told us! They had gone to a huge effort and racked a huge bill before hand so they must have been super pissed off. I apologised but the family weren't happy - I avoided for the rest of the afternoon!
18/24 So we have this party at the restaurant and there's this one woman with a nice fur coat. Like really nice. She's sitting at one of the tables closest to the door to the kitchen and placed her coat on the chair she was sitting at. One of the servers and I moved to the table to clear some plates and were stacking them to carry more. As we backed away we bumped into each other and a small dish of ranch dressing slides off a plate. The thing does a 360 on the way down, throws a spiral of dressing into the air and nails her coat, but not her. Nobody saw but us, we looked at each other and noped out. I think she was too drunk to notice as she left, since she didn't say anything. Still feel bad about trashing her coat, though.
19/24 Had a bday party , the boss insisted I cut the cake, I am very bad under pressure. After talking it over with the lady she said she could do it but my boss was like no she will take care of it. So I bring out the cake and I kinda just stare around for a second like "Don't screw this up." I cut one of the most crooked pieces ever and stared up at the table nobody noticed, so I kept going and this one lady stood up and was like "Oh no hunny here let me show you how go cut a cake properly." Also had an engagement I kinda knew what he was up to because he had that look when he was reaching for something and there was rumours he was going to so I stayed back to let him propose , that's when my boss came by and said "Go check up on your table" as soon as I did he was proposing and I interrupted with "Are we still doing alright over here?" he just looked me dead in the eye it was so awkward.
20/24 I was getting balloons for some kids bc it was a birthday party, I asked another server if she'd go around and tie them to the kid's wrists for me so I wouldn't have to speak to them bc direct quote "I hate kids". Dad was right behind me waiting til I was finished to ask me for something.
21/24 A couple and the girl's mother was celebrating the girl's birthday. A lot of the waitresses were freaking out because the guy looked identical to Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I finally asked him if anyone has ever told him how he looked like JGL and he's like "All of the time." He then got into a conversation with me and was super talkative every time I went over. At the beginning of the dinner, the girl was sitting with her mother, half way through she sat next to him and started to call him her boyfriend every time I came over. I then realized she thought I was hitting on him so I brought up my boyfriend and how the staff was dying for me to ask hoping she'd get the hint that I was never hitting on him in the first place. At the end, she skipped dessert when I asked if she wanted a free one for her birthday and quickly asked for the check. Something tells me her birthday dinner didn't go as planned.
22/24 A girl was having her 15th birthday party. There was a lot of family there, like 15 people plus her boyfriend. Her grandma had brought in a cake and gave it to the person up front to put in the fridge. Now, unless you say no singing, we're going to sing when we bring your cake out. So we do and the girl flips out. Gets really mad and angsty, yelling at poor grandma how she ruined everything. Grandma's like "I never told them to sing! It's not my fault" while the staff stand there awkwardly. Her boyfriend took her outside to calm down, and she came back in to eat cake.
23/24 A couple came in to celebrate a birthday, and waited very patiently (too patiently) for their order. I was very busy that night, and after about 45 minutes when they finally asked where their food was, I checked with the kitchen. As it turns out, I never turned the ticket in. It was in my pocket, and the meal was going to take another 20 minutes minimum, even if I rushed it.
They had after-dinner plans, and had to leave without eating. I admitted my mistake. I felt terrible about it, so I used my employee discount and bought them an entire cheesecake and gave it to them on their way out with my apologies.
They came back a few days later and asked for my section and left a very generous tip. They spoke to my manager and explained what had happened at the birthday dinner and thanked her for hiring such a great server. My boss was so impressed that she gave me the $50 back that I spent on the cheesecake.
24/24 I was waitressing at someone's wedding reception, and there wasn't enough room between the tables because my boss told them they could fit more people than they could. I was getting drinks to everyone (130 people at least, 6 waitresses and a busboy) and I went past the table with the cake on it. The cake was covered in icing sunflowers and had a cute little personalized sculpture of the bride and groom as a topper. As I went past with the pitchers of tea, my booty clipped the table and shook the chubby sculpture off the top of the cake. Then I tried to keep going, but I'm sure people noticed it was my fault. The planner was able to put a few flowers on top and stack the halves of the tiny sculpture so it looked whole again, but that whole time I felt nervous on top of stressed.
Image Source: Luis Molinero / shutterstock.com
We aren't perfect. There's plenty of things in our pasts that we look back and cringe at.
That being said, sometimes those cringe moments go far past cringe. Sometimes they get to the point of no return awfulness because that's where our human nature took us in this moment.
He's Not Dead<p>When I was 17 my brother walked into a room where I was lying down on my back and stamped on my chest. </p><p>I saw red and stood up and punched him square in the face, unfortunately this was in a doorway in front of a staircase, which he fell down backwards and when he hit the wall at the bottom folded up in such a way I thought I'd killed him. </p><p>He didn't move for what seemed like forever and I was certain he was dead, the world just spinning out around me. </p><p>He wasn't dead, obviously, but knocked out briefly and he never laid a finger on me again, after being the kind of nasty bully who had spent much of my childhood just randomly beating on me for his own enjoyment.</p><p>Those were the longest seconds of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MrSpindles/" target="_blank">MrSpindles</a></p>
Complete And Total Taking Over<p>I don't know about "haunts" but it makes me cringe. In public school we had this thing in our school called 'Jumpstart for Kids' where you'd go around, often door to door, collecting money for this charity once a year. </p><p>Anyway I was 12 and I liked a boy in highschool and he convinced me to take the envelope and go door to door and collect money... to give to him so he could buy a drum set. </p><p>I walked around collecting from all these sweet people who told me I was so nice for collecting money for underprivileged kids. Fortunately I got caught and my parents made me donate it instead. So embarrassing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heather-rch/" target="_blank">heather-rch</a></p>
Scene Of The Crime<p>Provincial Park, pay shower, 12 years old, line-up to get in. Towards the end of my turn in the shower, get the urge to poop. Cannot hold it. Using a sock to smoosh the last of it down the drain, water turns off. Out of quarters. Put a towel over my head, run out of there past the line-up.</p><p> Get back to the camp site, immediately change clothes, shoes, hairstyle, put on a ball cap. Work up the courage to go by the area later on, it is all cordoned off. Hear people angrily discussing how someone took a dump in the shower.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/eskerhobolo/" target="_blank">eskerhobolo</a></p>
When Bullying A Bully Isn't Worth It<p>We had a camper in this large campground at a lake when I was growing up. Tons of families with kids riding bicycles and golf carts up and down the gravel roads through the property. </p><p>There was this one kid that was a few years older than me (I was 10, he was probably 12 or so) who's dad was the security guard and they lived on site and he was the biggest punk in the park. He'd try and wrestle you in the pool, throw rocks at you as you were fishing, ride off on your bike if you left it laying around, bully and hit smaller kids, even girls. </p><p>I was driving the golf cart down a pretty steep, gravel hill one day when I came up on him on his bike, going the same way as me. He never turned around to acknowledge I was there so I got up just to the side of him and turned HARD right into him. We were both going probably 10-15 miles an hour down this hill. </p><p>He took a nasty spill and rolled off the side of the road and wasn't moving. I kept on going, acting like nothing happened. We were completely isolated so no one saw me. I remember him getting taken away in an ambulance and hearing that he'd been hurt pretty bad.</p><p> I immediately felt remorse for what I'd done but never said a word to anyone. He or anyone else never had any idea I did it either. I look back now and think about how much of a financial strain I put on that family, seeing as how they were already living in a camper. That was a really REALLY evil thing I did and it still crosses my mind quite often.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/harp9r/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">harp9r</a></p>
Not Hurting<p>So you know the carnival horses you can sit on outside of grocery stores (back in the 90's). Well I wanted to ride one and this sweet old woman tried to help me get on, slipped, and really really hurt herself falling into the ride. I just remember hearing her scream and I got scared and ran away.<br></p><p>I'm 31 years old and think about that day at least once a week.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/packhawk2689/" target="_blank">packhawk2689</a></p>
Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out<p>Easy. When I was 5, I burned my house down.</p><p>We were living in a small home, me, my sister, mom, dad. I was supposed to be in the bed, but I wanted a toy or <em>something</em> that was under my bed, and I didn't want to wake my parents by turning on my light... soooo I grabbed my dad's cigarette lighter and light the flame under my bed. Needless to say it went up like a match. </p><p>My dad tried to stomp the fire out after I started screaming fire, burning his leg horribly. My room and the source of the fire was blocking EVERY other bedroom from escape, so everyone had to jump out of a window. Funnily enough, I don't remember the world-class a** whipping I must have received for that. I just cringe at the thought that I almost killed all of us being a dumb kid.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Paradigm_Pizza/" target="_blank">Paradigm_Pizza</a></p>
Escape<p>I was married to an insanely abusive man. After two years I escaped and he killed himself shortly after. Not sure if it was him avoiding charges, or avoiding his deployment but his family decided it was 100% my fault. They told the police I gave him the gun and encouraged him. </p><p>That was investigated and unfounded. What they didn't know was he'd scanned and emailed me his suicide note the wee hours of the morning of. The police didn't find the note. Of course I handed it over when they asked. His family would not believe I wasn't involved or at fault and harassed me for a long time. </p><p>If I got a job and they found out about it they'd call and leave so many complaints I'd get let go. Found out what I drove and had their other kids and their friends follow me. </p><p>I ended up having to leave that town and disappearing to avoid them. But before I did, I printed a copy of his suicide note, found his moms car at her job, and left it on the window shield. That note detailed the abuse his father put him through, his rage at his mother for never leaving him and making himself and his siblings live with the SOB. </p><p>That he never wanted me to blame myself, that this was his way of getting the hell away from them and the damage he caused. I felt pretty bad for awhile. But at the same time.... they literally wouldn't leave me alone and stalked me for 5 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TinyTinasRabidOtter/" target="_blank">TinyTinasRabidOtter</a></p>
If You Give A Pup A Shower<p>Bored in the house one day alone when I was about 10, so decided to give my dog a shower, I genuinely loved my dog, he was my best friend growing up, but for some unknown reason I decided to turn the shower onto hot water only (extremely hot) and started showering him. There was a delay I guess in him reacting because his fur was so thick, which meant I kept it on him for a few seconds.</p><p>suddenly He started yelping like dogs do when in pain, his instincts were to not be aggressive or try to escape but just looked at me scared and confused.</p><p>I panicked smashed on the cold and cooled him down as quick as I could.</p><p>Fortunately he was not 'burnt' or had any ongoing issues, he never even lost trust in me.</p><p>I felt physically sick and ashamed in myself for days after, and obviously it still bothers me 20 years later.</p><p>The good thing to come from it is that I was so disturbed by my action that I have never knowingly inflicted pain on anyone or anything since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ChrisLeeHD/" target="_blank">ChrisLeeHD</a></p>
Caught In The Act<p>I was at school and for no reason at all, I eavesdropped a very private and delicate conversation between one of my teachers and her husband. </p><p>Then she opened the door and saw me eavesdropping. It was beyond humiliating and I deserved the scolding afterwards. I was young and stupid obviously, but when I remember the look on her face, I still cringe hard, even if it's been almost 20 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/naydeilinsei/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">naydeilinsei</a></p>
Shunned<p>Second grade, I had a classmate (fake name Sasha) who was kinda awkward. Crooked teeth, quiet, not too bright. Didn't really have any friends within the class, though she did have some people she would hang out with at recess. </p><p>In any case, a boy in the grade above us, a friend of my brother's actually, for some reason decided to spread a rumor among all of us that Sasha had lice and to stay away from her. </p><p>I bought it without a second thought, and so did most of us; as far as I know, she wasn't particularly teased, but she was just shunned. No one talked to her. </p><p>She was around till the end of the year and didn't come back for third grade. No clue what happened to her, but I really hope we didn't mess her up too much.</p><p>Next summer, I got the worst case of head lice my pediatrician had ever seen. Karma, my dudes.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Isabel79540/" target="_blank">Isabel79540</a></p>
I don't miss high school or the people in it. People who seem to have peaked in high school also weird me out. How? Why? I can definitely tell you that life got much more interesting the older I got (my 20s were way more fun than any of my time in high school). If you were to ask me if I have any regrets, I suppose I would say that I wish I had been more assertive and stood up for myself more. Depression has a way of complicating goals like that, though. Let me tell you: It feels nice to be so much healthier than I was then.
After Redditor Sub2735 asked the online community, "What's your biggest regret from high school?" people shared their stories.
"I'm sure the mentality..."<p>Being too shy, I'm sure the mentality that everyone hated me wasn't very good for making friends.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpad84o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aeflare</a></p>
"I'm not sure how it could have gone differently..."<p>Dropping out. I am not sure how it could have gone differently, but I do wish it had. It was expensive to upgrade all that education to get into post-secondary, and I also missed out on a lot of social things.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafhng?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DaughterEarth</a></p>
"I was already pretty cynical..."<p>I was told I had received a full-ride scholarship, so I stopped putting in any effort on other scholarships. When the time came, it wound up being awarded to someone who applied late, got it due to their family's income level, and then dropped out of college after one month. My first two years of college were a financial nightmare as I had to pay my own way on everything (except rent, as I lived at home and commuted across state lines for work and college). If I had $50 at the end of the month, that was a damn good month. I couldn't get student loans and my parents refused to help, so I had worked out a deal with the financial office at college to pay something like $550 a month, which was about 90% of my income.</p><p>I regret not confronting whoever made that decision about the scholarship. I somewhat regret not putting in the effort to get other scholarships at the same time, but I can't blame myself for it either.</p><p>I was already pretty cynical at that point, but that was when I realized just how quickly your back becomes a knife block for someone else's optics.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpalo5m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>
"I used to daydream..."<p>I used to daydream about going back one day and burning it to the ground, but it's just been demolished by land developers. So I guess that dream's dead.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafcpx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EducationTangle06</a></p>
I suppose the phrase, "Always follow your dreams"...<p>...doesn't apply in this case.</p>
"Acting like a clown..."<p>Acting like a clown, annoying everyone to the point where no one really stayed in contact with me after, and taking my precious little charter school for granted.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpae5ak?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SalFunction12</a></p>
I have a friend who has expressed similar concerns about his time in high school.<p>He ended up spending his college years going to therapy and maturing. His clownish antics were a coping mechanism for a lot of crap going on in his life at the time. He's happier and healthier now and that's what matters.</p>
"To be fair..."<p><span>Dating my best friend. To be fair that's how I found out a lot of people weren't really my friends but getting ghosted afterward really hurt.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpasudw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannacantplay</a></p>
"She got tired..."<p>I took my crush to Daft Punk Alive 2007 instead of my best friend. She wasn't responding all day, and I was with my friend. We were about to leave when she called. She'd been with her boyfriend all day and had forgotten about the concert. I took her. My buddy was disappointed but cool about it.</p><p>She got tired of being on the floor halfway through so we sat in the bleachers. We started walking out before the encore because she wanted to get home sooner.</p><p>Always wanted to take my buddy to a Daft Punk show after that, and was going to, no matter where or how much it cost. But I'll never get the chance.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpbd6so?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">spanishgrapelaw</a></p>
"Looking back now..."<p>I regret not telling my crushes how I felt about them. Looking back now, I know that those puppy love relationships probably wouldn't have developed into anything long term and I no doubt would've had my heart broken when they inevitably ended but, I can't help but wonder: What if?</p><p>Having cultivated a host of insecurities by the time I got to high school, I was really good at hiding my inner thoughts and feelings - I also probably didn't see myself very clearly. So, I just assumed that there was zero chance of my crushes reciprocating my feelings and never said anything to them about it. I also probably sub-consciously ignored any signs that they were interested in me (again, didn't see myself clearly, was very insecure).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpazwl2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vegoceraptor</a></p>
"The world is wider..."<p>Not engaging with opportunities available to me and just looking at it like a holding pen just before adulthood.</p><p>It may seem hokey, but join clubs, try out lots of sports, pursue interests, pay attention in class and engage with your peers.</p><p>The world is wider for adolescents than I allowed myself to believe it was at the time.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpaxnsf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Big_Requirement_3540</a></p>
"I already knew I was quitting..."<p>Senior year I had the option of a guaranteed internship and doing half days at school. Turned it down because my parents wanted me to be in band (and I enjoyed it so didn't put up a fight).</p><p>I already knew I was quitting when I went to college. The internship would have been great experience to propel my studies/career.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpatszd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ClubbsMcLubbs</a></p>
High school isn't easy.<p>Nor is it particularly fun for a lot of people. Remember how awful being a teenager was? Remember what it was like to feel like you were at the whim of your hormones all the time? It's an emotional rollercoaster. It's no wonder so many people would rather close the book on high school once it's over (or have some regrets related to their time there).</p><p>Have your own stories? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>
When we are on the outside looking in, it can feel so obvious that a relationship is doomed.
When we offer advice to friends, family, or people oversharing at a party, the correct next move often seems wildly obvious: get out of that relationship.
Enough Was Enough<p>"He was mentally ill, possibly with Paranoid Personality Disorder, definitely delusional, maybe schizophrenic. I was accused of all types of things, affairs, being part of plots to 'get' him, even urinating on his toothbrush."</p><p>"I stayed for 3 years after I knew I no longer loved him because I knew he would spiral without someone to look after him. He had destroyed every relationship with his friends and family because they were all also out to 'get' him."</p><p>"I finally told him I would only stay if he got help, which he refused. So I left."</p><p>"I was right about him spiralling. He went from sharehouse to sharehouse as all the other tenants were 'out to get him'. He eventually ended up homeless for a while is now facing 18 different charges so will probably end up in jail."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpal6ip?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">damekl</a></p>
An Unfortunately Common Response to Fading Love<p>"She threatened to kill herself and even though I wanted out of the relationship, i didnt want her to be hurt or die. I remember us arguing about something very trivial but she was getting very upset. She walked out mid conversation and came back with cuts all over her legs and thighs."</p><p>"I tried getting help from parents, school counselors, doctors. None helped. So i just tried to manage as much as I can. Eventually she joined the military & moved away and that was the moment I was finally free."</p><p>"Years wasted though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpab7fm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">corazon_im_hurt</a></p>
A Bare Bones Story<p>"Short version: domestic violence."</p><p>"Long version: I was afraid to leave because I believed he would find me and kill me."</p><p>"Conclusion: He pushed me too far and I ran."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaizjk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AliceMorgon</a></p>
Tipping Over the Edge<p>"He was a violent drug addict and I was scared of what he may do if I left. I never truly loved him but our relationship became very codependent very quickly."</p><p>"He cheated on me, took advantage of the fact that I had a car and money, but I still stayed because he was always threatening to kill himself or to kill my cats."</p><p>"Then one night he literally backed me into a corner and tried to punch me in the head so that finally made me open my eyes and realize I had to get out."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpb5z6l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Theging96666</a></p>
Optics<p>"She's terminally ill, and dying of Cancer, even though she is abusive now, and was before, I can't really leave, the social pressure to be a *good man* plus the cost of divorce and everything else is just too much, at this point it's just easier to wait it out."</p><p>"Plus I really like her family, and if I left her when she was sick...it would pretty much kill that relationship."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbm18j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boise_State_2020</a></p>
Always a Reason to Stay<p>"We were living together at 16, she cheated on me and I told her I wanted her to leave, she begged me not to send her back to her moms house because they have like 8 people in a 2 bedroom house and because she would've had nowhere else to go."</p><p>"I was 16 I didn't know how to handle a girl literally begging me so I let her stay against my better judgement and it created a hurtful cycle of falling in and out of love."</p><p>"Feeling like things could get better and then having my world come crashing down every time I look at her because I think of reading the message of the guy saying he loved watching her get on top of him."</p><p>"A couple of years go by and we're not in love, just tolerating each other at this point and then we got pregnant, stayed together through the pregnancy but the stress was too much for both of us and caused fighting, sleeping apart, more cheating."</p><p>"When the baby was born she had finally turned 18 and we moved away our relationship got much better with each other, we're best friends now and are just trying our best to raise our daughter to be healthy and happy and know she's loved."</p><p>"Neither of us had good childhoods."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa47ed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lapidot-Wav</a></p>
For the In-Laws<p>"I lived with a man I never loved. His mum was also living with us and I loved her more than my own biological mum."</p><p>"She was the nicest, kindest and the most caring soul I have ever met in my life. I left that man when he told me that he knew I was only with him because of his mum. That was 20 years ago but I still miss her every single day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbz7av?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mayfl21</a></p>
A Sudden Shift<p>"I was with my wife for 14 years. For at least half of that, I wasn't happy with the relationship. But I had decided I was ok with it because everything about our life together was acceptable, for lack of a better word."</p><p>"We owned a house, made good money, got along well, shared hobbies, etc. We were basically roommates/best friends who just didn't love each other the way you would normally expect from a married couple."</p><p>"When the pandemic hit, and we were forced to stay home more and spend time with each other EVERY DAY, we started to get a better sense of how well we actually tolerated each other. It didn't go well."</p><p>"She ended up getting really into online gaming and met some other guys and basically cheated on me. In retrospect, it was obvious it would reach that point."</p><p>"But I was content to stay there as long as I could because it was a comfortable life with very little stress and obligation."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaadi2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">knucklehead923</a></p>
Slow Fade<p>"I was no longer as 'in love' with her. But I still loved her. After years together it could become tricky to figure out exactly what It's just a lull and what is it really going away."</p><p>"I was still living with my best friend. But ended it because once we really realized that I wasn't feeling the same way anymore. I was just hurting her for me to stay since she was still in love."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa6h2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">collin3000</a></p>
Wise, But a Little Sad<p>"We have good chemistry and built a life together. After a lot of years, love comes and goes. It is like the seasons."</p><p>"As cold as it can be in the winter, if you put the effort in, the spring will always come back."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa41jl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aizpunr</a></p>
Some people don't take breakups very well. And those that don't can sometimes engage in behavior that others might view as bothersome, unsettling, even toxic.
Others engage in abusive behavior during the relationship, a major red flag that some people might not take seriously until it's too late.
After Redditor XYZ3110 asked the online community, "What's the creepiest thing an ex has done?" people shared their stories.