People Confess Why They Think Waiting Until Marriage To Have Sex Is A Good Or Bad Idea

Why is sex such a dramatic aspect of life?

It carries such weight in our lives.

For some, there's a big debate about waiting for marriage.

Other want to know if they're compatible (both emotionally and sexually) before tying the knot.

Whether it's for religious or other reasons, this topic can put a strain on many adult relationships.

First and foremost, we do know we have to do what's best for us.

Redditor EveningAd3633 wanted to hear about all the reasons to abstain or let loose, so they asked:

"Do you think that waiting until you are married for sex is a good idea? Why or why not?"

Redditors from around the globe wanted to share their experiences.

No Touching

"I know a couple who are waiting until marriage. They both agree on it and are fine with it. But they have ridiculously over the top tickle fights. - _- It makes me so uncomfortable to witness. I'd almost rather see them bang in front of me. It's band camp levels of tension that just won't ever go away."


Do we Fit?

"No. We waited and we were not compatible… eventually, he cheated and we got divorced. Also, being compatible sexually is not a reason to get married either."


"I don’t understand how people don’t get this. It’s the same as any other aspect of marriage—if you aren’t compatible, you shouldn’t get married. It would be like dating someone, and the entire time you’re both blindfolded."

"Then after you’re married you can FINALLY take your blindfold off only to find out your partner looks like someone set their face on fire and put it out with a pick axe. Every aspect of compatibility is important in a marriage."

"Yes, you both change and evolve but if you’re not both 100% committed to weathering these changes and adapting as a couple, then your marriage will probably not be a happy one!"


All Aspects

"Personally, I think it's good to wait a while before having sex with someone to actually know them, but I wouldn't wait to be married... I think you should know the person that you are marrying on all aspect."


"WELL SAID - and just to take on so many of the other opinions on this thread, it is NOT a good idea to wait until after marriage. It’s not 'fine if you want' it’s actively a terrible idea IF you care about having a sex life. Hoping it will work out through sheer luck? Idiotic."


Things Change

"No. Not saying you should f**k everyone that propositions you but you should make sure you are compatible with someone before marrying them. Too many people find out too late they can't stand someone's actual personality. Things change after sex, people calm down and get real, they stop being on their best behavior. Get to know the real person before you marry an intolerable a**hole."


Stay Calm

Relaxing Chill Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy

"If you want to wait, go for it. But don’t set yourself up for waiting until marriage, and then rush the marriage part just to get to the sex."


"Kid I work with is 24. Just got married. Did the deed. Now has a kid on the way. All within 3-4 months of meeting his wife at church. Great kid. But you can see it in his face already. The guy is STRESSED."



tv land casino GIF by Lopez on TV LandGiphy

"Paraphrasing Lewis Black: If you wait until marriage to have sex, then you are a gambler on a level I can't even freaking imagine."


Don’t judge...

"I would say it’s not about waiting until you are married but waiting until it is right for both of you. That’s the key point that a lot of people get wrong. They get to it for reasons other than it being right or feeling right."

"So if your belief is that you should have committed to a marriage, then that is what is going to feel right for you. It could also be that within hours (or even minutes) you can feel that it is right for you. Don’t judge the duration, judge the feeling that you have."


Cause and Effect

"I’ve heard horror stories of marriages being destroyed because it wasn’t until after wedlock that they discovered their sex drives were entirely different. It causes depression, it causes divorce, and in some extreme cases, it pushes people to cheat. I just don’t think it’s worth it to wait when it could potentially make or break a relationship."


He was right...

"My step dad always told me, 'You might like the pair of jeans you have, but there's always a chance you'll find a pair that fits you better.' He was right. There was no shame in having sex before marriage, and he also taught me that as a female, it is perfectly OK to buy and have the condoms. It's also ok to reject a guy if he doesn't want to be safe. Your body is worth more than his sexual pleasure."


More than talk...

Heart GIF by BuzzFeedGiphy

"No. Unless you're both asexual, sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship, and that's not something you can determine just through conversation."


"Sexual compatibility is important for asexual people too, as in having a similar lack of interest in it."


Thanks to these Redditors for opening up and sharing on such an important topic.

Some really valid points were made about communication, expectation, and compatibility.

Do you have any thoughts to share? Let us know in the comments below.

Until we're in a situation, we'll never really know how we'll react.

I have been in this scenario, though.

Sex matters. And people rarely want to admit how much.

But sex isn't a lifetime guarantee.

It fades, as does love.

It's important to speak about it.

It can be a fixable situation.

A relationship without sex may not be the end of the world, but it's definitely a sign that something is off.

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