Waiters Share The Worst First Dates They've Seen Unfold[rebelmouse-image 18360563 is_animated_gif=
We have all Witnessed those couples who are on their first date and it is awkward as all heck! Cute, but so awkward. Waiters are one of the only people who get to interact with a couple on a first date, and they are serving us up some juicy first date stories.
Servers of Reddit, what's the most awkward date you've seen unfold?
The secret escape[rebelmouse-image 18361870 is_animated_gif=
To preface, I work in a restaurant where we make our own ketchup and some people just don't like it. Fine, whatever, if you're nice I'll bring you the secret Heinz ketchup as long as you don't tell anyone. Anyway, a woman is seated at my table looking super excited and tells me she's on a blind date. She orders a glass of wine and waits anxiously, how cute right? So this dude shows up on his phone, ignores my hostess, and eventually finds this beautiful women waiting for him. He continued to talk on his phone for like, 15 minutes, and when he finally hung up I went to the table. He tried to order for her which obviously embarrassed her, and for himself ordered a well done steak and fries. When I brought it to him he asked for A1 and REAL ketchup. When I informed him we had neither he grunted and said he had ketchup packets in his truck. As soon as he walked out the door she asked for her half of the check and her food to go. I helped her leave out the side door before he could even come back. It was awkward serving him after that. He used 7 ketchup packets.
Major foul[rebelmouse-image 18351066 is_animated_gif=
My first day at my first job as a server at a sushi restaurant (17 at the time with minimal people skills lol).
I had just checked in an older woman possibly in her early 60's/late 50's with a young man who couldn't have been older than 25. Midway thru their meal I went to check up on them asking, "aw, are you taking Mom out today?". They both turned with straight faces and the young man answered, "she's my girlfriend."
I whispered an apology and just peeled myself away
The suspense is killing us[rebelmouse-image 18360988 is_animated_gif=
Date I witnessed
Guy pulls out chair for girl, she doesn't realize what he is doing, awkward pause
Sits down, guy clears throat and starts coughing because he cleared it to hard or something
She doesn't know what to do, ignores him picks up the menu
Waiter comes she asks her date if he knows what's good, he says he'll have what she is having, hands menu to waiter, she orders seafood, awkward pause, he is allergic to seafood takes the menu back and looks for another minute, waiter says he can come back, he says no he'll have a steak, waiter leaves
They sit staring, not quietly looking around or at their phones, staring at each other in silence until food comes which they eat in silence
My gf at the time and i were on the edge of our seats waiting for something to happen
You cannot order for a stranger[rebelmouse-image 18361871 is_animated_gif=
Tinder date. Guy keeps ordering for the girl.
He ordered her drink (liquor) which she corrected to a glass of wine. Then he ordered her some soup, which she stated she didn't want. Then he ordered her meal (shrimp scampi), which she corrected to chicken marsala because she is allergic to shellfish.
She was very sweet and I'm assuming was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Until something took a turn and she poured her wine on his head and stormed out.
The one good thing about him though... he tipped the hell out of me. like almost 60% tip on an already expensive meal.
I would kill to find out what he said to make this seemingly sweet girl pour cabernet all over him.
What a jerk![rebelmouse-image 18361872 is_animated_gif=
It was clearly a blind date. Neither were comfortable at all. Dropped off drinks, both were polite, dropped off food, asked how everything was, the guy rolled his eyes and said "well the food is great I just wish SHE would TALK more". Girl's face went tomato red and I dropped off the check shortly after. Poor girl
Nice and formal[rebelmouse-image 18349745 is_animated_gif=
I once saw a guy shake his dates hand when she reached over to grab some bread.
The most painful meal[rebelmouse-image 18353735 is_animated_gif=
The couple broke up.
He dumped her toward the beginning. Girl cried while giving her order. They finished their whole meal, dessert and all.
When you don't speak your wife's language[rebelmouse-image 18346475 is_animated_gif=
Couple in their 50's came in, husband asked if anyone spoke mandarin, (Chinese restaurant) I brought out the owner. Turns out, they are married, the wife just arrived from China, she doesnt speak any english, the husband didnt speak and mandarin.
The owner ended up sitting with them for a half hour translating...
When a date has chaperones[rebelmouse-image 18361873 is_animated_gif=
I had a teenage couple come accompanied by a parent.
Playing to impress[rebelmouse-image 18361874 is_animated_gif=
Oversaw this waiting for take out at a sushi place.
Around 3ish, a guy comes in and explains to the staff that he was coming in later that night with a date, and that he wants them to come out with a roll and say "hi so and so, nice to see you again, this is on the house"
The waitress gave him the most blank look so he explained the whole thing again, emphasizing how he would actually pay for the roll now.
I should have gone back later to see how that played out.
The ghost third wheel[rebelmouse-image 18361875 is_animated_gif=
We had a middle-aged lady come in with a gentleman. They asked for 3 menus. I went over to the table to introduce myself and ask if they were waiting for one more. The woman said no her husband is here and then the two physically at the table ordered drinks and a water.
When I came back to drop off the drinks her "date" was in the bathroom. The lady explained to me that her husband had died a few years ago and this guy (a friend) kept asking to go out. So she said yes but insisted her DEAD HUSBAND come with them. This is why they had 3 menus. She instructed me to bring her husband up as often as possible, pretend that I knew him and make sure I ask if he's having anything for dinner when I took their dinner order. She would refer to him just as if he was sitting right there. I then heard her tell this guy all night that he tries too hard and he's kind of mean.
I do not miss working in the restaurant industry.
When the drugs kick in and a threesome is expected[rebelmouse-image 18351007 is_animated_gif=
I worked at a nice Italian restaurant a couple years ago. One night a couple came in and specifically asked to sit in my section. I had no idea who they were, but the host said they looked at me and asked to sit there because they "vibe with me". Whatever, so I start taking their order and talking with them, and they were acting very odd. They were being over the top friendly, super touchy feely with each other, and just kind of moving all weird. Finally they tell me that tonight was their date night so they decided to take LSD and come get steak and pasta. I don't really know why they wanted to to do it, but they were nice enough. When they were leaving they tried to get my number to "hang out" later.
When things get crazy before the date shows up[rebelmouse-image 18361877 is_animated_gif=
Used to bartend/waitress at a pub back in the day.
One evening a guy comes in and sits down at a table for two. I go ask him if he want a drink. He orders a drink and tells me that he is waiting for a girl he's meeting for a date to order food.
He waits for a bit and I served him a couple drinks. An hour passes, He's looking at his phone occasionally and drinking. He finally comes up to the bar after an hour and a half, and tells me he thinks he's been stood up.
That's rough man. He orders a couple drinks neat and pounds them back. He's starting to look and sound considerably worse for wear at this point. He ordered a couple more drinks and I told him to wait a bit. He convinced me to get them for him by telling me he was going to drink them and leave. So he downs the drink and get up to leave.
Who should walk in the door as he's turning to go, his date. She was still wearing scrubs and looked pretty disheveled. She apologized up one side and down the other for being late.
I then got to serve one of the most awkward dates ever. He was drunk, like I probably shouldn't have gave him that last drink drunk. They make some small talk and it's terribly awkward. He gets up and goes to the bathroom.
20 minutes go by and he doesn't come back. Finally one of the male servers walk up and tells her that her date is having some troubles in the bathroom. He was sitting on the toilet bawling.
We asked her to get him out of there. We called him a cab and she pretty much shoved him into it and ran.
you gotta do what you gotta do[rebelmouse-image 18348996 is_animated_gif=
I waited tables during college. The most awkward date I've saw unfold at that time was a lady in her mid-30's who got stood up. Like an hour in, she was still waiting and drinking her 3rd glass of wine. It was really sad to see her come to the realization that her date stood her up. But by that time, she had 3 glasses of wine in her and she ordered food and just talked with random wait staff from time to time and I'm fairly certain ended up convincing one of the waiter who was getting off his shift to go home with her.
Watch the shoes[rebelmouse-image 18361879 is_animated_gif=
Probably the one where the guy's choice of footwear was such a turn off that the woman didn't even sit down with him. She left before he even saw that she came in.
What a pig[rebelmouse-image 18361880 is_animated_gif=
I was not a server at the time BUT .... My boyfriend and I went out to dinner one night and sitting directly in front of us was a middle aged man wearing basketball shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops with socks. He had ordered himself a large appetizer and was drinking a beer. Five minutes later, this younger, attractive , very nicely dressed woman came in and sat with him. You could tell by the look on her face that this was a first date and not was she expected. By this time, he had already ate most of the appetizer and was very loudly talking about how tiny her body was and how he's a big man that likes to be in charge. We felt terrible for this girl! She was very mousy and seemed too sweet to say anything. He kept trying to get her to take shots with him and then was commenting about her having to crash at his place. It was time to leave so we made the bartender aware that the girl look to be uncomfortable.
Worst case scenario[rebelmouse-image 18350569 is_animated_gif=
I once was a server at a very upscale French restaurant in NYC. One evening a middle-aged man and a young woman are sat in my section, clearly on a date. You could tell this woman was his mistress by the way they interacted with each other. They were high maintenance but pleasant enough. Right after they had received their entrees, the man looks across the way to another table and loses all the color in his face. His date noticed and turned to see what he was looking at. The mans wife was at another table, also on a date with her side piece, on the other side of the restaurant. The wife sees him and has the same expression on her face, which very quickly turns to rage. She briskly walks over to his table and starts whisper-yelling at him, pointing her finger right in his face. He starts to do the same back at her. This isn't a very big restaurant, everyone knows what's going on and the atmosphere gets icy. The mans date is just staring at her plate, absolutely mortified. The wife's date pretends nothing is happening and continues eating. Eventually, the wife storms back over to her table and wolfs down her dinner (no exaggeration, she was like rage eating). He sits down and his mistress won't speak to him for the rest of the meal. This is a fine dining restaurant and they ordered multiple courses. Having to clear, crumb, and reset their table two more times was less than fun. He left a very big tip and apologized on the way out.
The hit and run[rebelmouse-image 18361881 is_animated_gif=
Not a date but the end result was the guy paying for the girl's meal and drinks.
VERY chatty woman in her early 20's was at the bar and ordering more than a few drinks, probably 5 or 6 cocktails and a few beers. Did I mention this was the middle of the day? Guy sits next to her and they end up chatting, good for them. It's time for her to leave and she hands me a credit card which is of course declined. She apologizes and fishes around for another credit card. This one is declined as well. She gets a little pouty and plays the woe is me card. White Knight next to her swoops in and says not to worry, he'll pay the bill, which is around $100. I guess he was expecting to get some and take her home, but as soon as he paid and the card went through she fast walked out of the place and was never seen again.
The first fight[rebelmouse-image 18361882 is_animated_gif=
In high school I worked as a buffet attendant/ waiter because the waitstaff sucked and I would end up getting people their drinks and even taking orders on occasion. Anyway a man and woman come in and I take their drink order. I somewhat recognized the woman as the mother of a guy from my high school and I know his parents were getting a divorce and well about 5 to 10 minutes after they arrived I see the soon to be ex husband storm in and he and the date get into a fist fight in the middle of the restaurant. It was a bit late so it was not as full but it basically shut Down the restaurant for about an hour because of all the cops and stuff.
This man is a liar[rebelmouse-image 18361883 is_animated_gif=
I was a server at a place that had a special for "all you can eat riblets", this was in some time in 2000. Man and woman come in, get seated in my section. Dude was a little dingy, looked to be in his early 30's, she was much better put together, I guessed late 20's. Got orders, drinks, they both did the riblet thing, they spent about 3 hours there. During that time the guy also asked me about how I liked working there and if we were hiring for kitchen help. I got him an application and he filled it out. While I was giving it over to the manager they tried to leave. They managed to get to their car, they even would have managed to get away if the battery wasn't dead. My manager and I went out to give him his bill, he explained he didn't have any money, so my manager started to call the police. His date stepped up and paid for the bill and gave me a heafty tip. She said he had told her he'd already paid while she was in the restroom, didn't really believe her, but it didn't matter much. She called for a cab after that, the guy was still trying to start his car at 11pm when I left.
Have you ever rolled your eyes as a friend tried to convince you to try the latest fad, eat at a restaurant that had not appealed to you, or watch a movie or TV show that didn't spark your fancy?
Then, after reading about it more, discover it was all that was missing from your life?
Or, on the flip side, have you ever stopped watching what was once your favorite TV show, eating at your favorite restaurant, or partaking in the fad of the moment, upon learning a little more about it?
They say ignorance is bliss, and perhaps the saying is accurate.
Reading up on various fads, foods and movies has the potential to permanently change our opinions of them, for better or worse.
Redditor Pineapple_WarpDrive was curious to know the many things fellow Reddit users changed their opinions on after a bit of research, leading them to ask:
"What is something you changed your stance on after learning more about it?"
Getting away from screens
"I worked for an agency selling social media services to clients and I had to learn about it."
"The more I learned, the less I wanted to work with social media."
Round and round we go...
"Based on all the complaints, I assumed they were confusing and unnecessary."
"When my city put in a bunch, I realized that I no longer had to wait 3 minutes at all of the punishment lights."
"Love roundabouts now."
"Of course that didn't stop the older population of the city from trying to have them removed."
"One guy even ran for city council on the platform that he would immediately put the stoplights back in."
"Change is hard, I guess."- AlternatePersonMan.episode 4 roundabout GIFGiphy
My feet have never been happier.
"I didn't think orthopedic shoes were for me, but I stand corrected." - user deleted
I'm worth more than this.
"More specifically, working hard in a corporate environment."
"I like to work hard for things that I own and maintain, my home, my family, my body, my hobbies."
"But I've worked for almost 20 years for big tech companies."
"I've started at entry level jobs and worked up to middle management."
"I've made 6 figures."
"What I've noticed is that they want to pay you less and keep training and experience as a reward."
"That is to say, you are not working for a paycheck."
"You are working towards the next thing."
"But they convince everyone to work hard in an entry level position, working unpaid overtime and you might be rewarded with a higher job."
"Statistically, you will not be promoted."
"There are 30 people on your team who all have that same goal and you can't all be supervisor or manager."
"Now, I just work for my paycheck."
"If you would like me to work harder, you can pay me more."
"I'm not going to go above and beyond for 2 years just to get passed over again."- KevinAnniPadda.Pay Me Bitch Better Have My Money GIFGiphy
"Lifting weights doesn’t make you 'bulky' as a woman and is one of the best things you could do for yourself not only in terms of body composition but in terms of posture, activities of daily living, mobility, joint/bone health, etc."
"It changed my entire life."- clauseandpaws.
It's your decision and no one else's.
"Empathy for the choices people make when they are not able to fully control themselves ."
"I.E. addiction, mental health crisis/episodes."
"Having personal experience on both the receiving and giving ends really deepened my empathy and understanding that allows me to have a more nuanced and individualized approach to these kinds of things now."- theoriginalsmore.
If you take a closer look...
"That case where McDonald's had to pay a bunch of money to a woman who spilled hot coffee on herself." - user deleted
Don't knock it till you've tried it.
"All the guys I grew up with that played were huge d-bags."
"Years later a neighbor dragged me out on a nice day and I’ve been playing ever since."
"10+ years."- moarturnips.
Getting the help you need.
"My upbringing is within an asian household so when it comes to dealing with emotions, we tend to shove that into jar and move on."
"I used to think that receiving therapy is for the mentally ill, weak etc."
"I don't have 'problems' therefore I don't need therapy."
"But after recent events in 2021 with certain people I tried therapy and after a few sessions it just revealed some baggage I wasn't even aware of."
"Honestly I wish I started earlier when I was in my 20s."
"I would be more emotionally prepared, and would probably have had healthier relationships with women if I had dealt with the trauma growing up and from my first relationship that devastated me."- Jono-san.
"Not sure I can think of anything I DIDN'T change my stance on after learning about it."- RandoKaruza.
It is amazing how your opinion might change on something after a little research.
Or, just by actually doing it.
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Serial killers capture the attention of the public.
"Serial killer" is recognized by the FBI as a distinct classification of murderer differing from a "mass murderer" or "spree killer" or "contract killer."
Documentaries, books, TV shows and films have all been made about the lives and crimes of these killers—many of their names are part of pop culture.
But what about the people who lived to tell about their encounter with a killer? What were these killers like day to day?
Redditor LiamTheGuyYaKnow asked:
"People who have encountered or saw a serial killer in their lives, how did it feel? What was the interaction like?"
"I encountered Adam Strong."
"He used to work at the gas station right around the corner from my in-laws’ house. I saw him there once."
"I was sitting in the car while my (then boyfriend) husband went inside to pay for gas, and Strong came over and stood right by my window, he was just hanging around the gas pumps. I just felt an overwhelming feeling of fear and disgust, I thought he was the grossest thing I’d ever seen, he didn’t even seem human."
"When the news broke of him, my in-laws were shocked. He’d served my MIL at that gas station a million times."
"That gas station is in the same plaza as a Tim Hortons. My brother-in-law used to hang around that Tim Hortons, and smoke outside, and Strong would often join him, they got to know each other. They weren’t friends, but they took smoke breaks together semi often.
"Also, my husband and I were walking through the park/lakefront in Oshawa all day Sunday, right before they found the body of Rori Hache."
Lonnie David Franklin Jr.
"I lived down the street from the 'Grim Sleeper' when I was a child to my early teens (after his active years).
"Whenever I walked my dogs I used to walk past his house and talk to him whenever he was outside."
"I never received serial killer vibes from the guy who murdered 25+ people, he was really nice and always spoke when he saw me."
"My sister-in-law encountered Ivan Milat, one of the two men that inspired the Wolf Creek horror movie series. She was travelling the east coast of Australia for a few weeks with her brother."
"One night, her and her brother were having jerky and beer by a campfire when Milat sat down at their campfire. When she first saw him, she thought he was park ranger because of his style of dress. She thought he was going to tell them that they built their campfire in a prohibited area, but instead he commented on what a beautiful evening it was and pointed out some of the notable stars in the sky."
"Ivan never properly introduced himself. He just sat down and started chatting. He asked my sister-in-law where she was from, and she told him Darwin."
"He said, 'What's a Darwin girl doing all the way out here?' My sister-in-law explained that she was on a road trip. She seemed to pique his interest when she told him that instead of doing the usual beach vacation, she wanted to do something a little more rugged, like explore caves, do a little rock climbing, and hike trails that were not popular with the tourists."
"My sister-in-law says that Ivan was friendly, and he had a lot of ideas about places she might like to go, including a cave that had a waterfall inside, which was a bit of a hidden gem not well-known to tourists."
"She felt comfortable talking with him, and when he invited her and her brother to join him at his campsite for some rabbit stew and beer, she would have said yes, but her brother instantly turned him down. Ivan's response to the rejection was a slight 'Well, I tried' shrug of the shoulders."
"He went back to his campsite, and her brother quickly packed their things in their rented Land Rover, and they wound up sleeping in the Rover outside a well-lit gas station that night."
"She said what was so scary about that night is that she felt almost immediately comfortable around Ivan, no red flags whatsoever. He reminded her of one of her uncles that worked construction—one of those rugged but worldly kind of guys, while her brother was immediately suspicious of the charming stranger."
"She kind of wonders what would have happened to her if her brother had not been there that night."
"This whole thread makes me wonder how many serial killers I’ve met in my 50 years."
FBI estimates are that between 25 to 50 active serial killers are currently in the United States.
But author, researcher and former detective Michael Arntfield believes the number active is as many as 4000 based on the definition of serial killer as a "person who has killed three or more people in a period of more than a month."
Angel Maturino Resendiz
"My cousin was killed by the Texas railroad killer in the 90s."
"I never knew her and I was really young, but my mom did. She had stayed with them recently when visiting Texas."
"Karen Sirnic was my first cousin once removed. She and her husband were bludgeoned to death in a church, where the husband was a pastor."
Harry Edward Greenwell
"He was in our small town for 20 years, worked for the Railroad. Grew vegetables which he sold at the local farmers market. Frequented the local diner & liquor store."
"Known throughout the community as an odd guy, but no one expected what he had done. His step kids used to throw parties in high school.
"Just months ago DNA linked him to 3 murders, assaults & 2 attempted murders & assaults in the late 80's, & early 90s. Died of cancer ten years ago."
"Just a surreal crazy feeling for everyone to find out he did such horrible things. Was nice to neighbors & everyone in the community."
"Murders took place several states away. They dubbed him the I-65 killer."
Ian Brady and Myra Hindley
"My Auntie was nearly a victim of the 'Moors Murderers'."
"She was walking home from school one day, when a land rover pulled up next to her and rolled its window down. There was a lady driving, she told my Auntie to get in and she'd drive her home from school."
"My Auntie said she didn't get in cars with strangers. The woman said that she was a family friend and my Grandma had sent her to pick her up."
"My Auntie noticed that there was a motorbike parked just up the road and the rider was watching this go on. She had the good sense to run into a nearby shop and didn't come out til they left."
"Sure enough, a year or so later, she saw the woman's face all over the news. It was Myra Hindley. It also came out that while Myra was luring victims into the car, Ian Brady would follow behind on his motorbike.
"My Auntie says she just instinctively felt there was something very 'off' about the situation, and that the woman seemed 'too keen' to get her in the car."
"I grew up about a block and a half from Bob Berdella. He was eventually caught for picking up teenage gay males and torturing and killing them. Prior to that he was, from what I remember, a pretty normal and fairly social person. He was actually part of the neighborhood watch group that my dad was on."
"He ran an 'oddities' shop at the flea market near our house called Bob's Bizarre Bazaar, which I guess is a little weird."
"I still remember the day he was caught. I was over playing at a friend's house whose father was a police sergeant. There was a frantic knocking at the front door and like thirty seconds later my friend's dad asked us to go play at my house for a while."
"One of Bob's would-be victims had escaped by shimmying out of a second-floor window while Bob was at work. The man, basically naked, ran across the street and started pounding on doors and the first people that answered were next door to the house I was playing at."
"They immediately came next door, knowing a cop lived there."
"So Bob lived across from a police sergeant for years, torturing, raping, killing, and burying his victims in dog food bags in his backyard, never being caught."
"This all happened just as school was getting out for the summer and my parents just let us stay home while they worked instead of doing daycare. Most days we'd hang out in the backyard behind Bob's which was slightly elevated above his, watching the cops dig up dead bodies."
"My mom claimed the number of cops in the neighborhood for the next two months was so large that we were probably safer there than at a daycare."
The English term and idea of "serial killer" are generally attributed to FBI Special agent Robert Ressler, who is documented using the term "serial homicide" in 1974.
Credit for making the term official often goes to LAPD detective Pierce Brooks, who created the Violent Criminal Apprehension Program (ViCAP) system in 1985.
While some law enforcement sets the threshold for serial killers at 4 or more murders, some require only 2.
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As someone who was forced to watch Butterfly Effect more times than should be legal, I've developed a bit of a knee-jerk NOPE reaction to the idea of time travel.
They say shows jump the shark when they start including ridiculous stuff just for the shock views (fun fact: that phrase comes from an episode of Happy Days where Fonzie literally jumps over a massive shark while water skiing.)
Reddit user, KingTonza asked:
"What would be your Main reason to go back in time?"
and long-story-short, we're all greedy curious saps who clearly could never be trusted with a timeline.
*stares in Ashton Kutcher face*
"I had a cat that died in 2018. He was the best little guy. I’d like to go back and sneak into my old apartment after past me left for work for the day and just hang out with him sometimes."
"Huh I like that. Wholesome and also side-steps the problem of running into past selves."
"I never had cats but will do this with my dogs."
"I just lost my boy last year. Even though I still have my little girl, I still miss him so much. I will visit all the pets I've lost throughout the years."
Jurassic NopeConfused Jurassic Park GIF by VidiotsGiphy
"I really want to see dinosaurs."
"I know, I know, odds are high it would end badly for me. I just really love dinosaurs."
"I'm sure they want to see you too."
"The Libyans chasing me in a mall parking lot at 2am with an RPG."
"I'm sorry but I really really misread this and missed the movie reference because I thought you said lesbians"
"Now THAT'S heavy"
The Necessary Nerd Answer
"To stop the burning of the library of Alexandria"
"When I was an adolescent and reading porno mags, I can still remember reading one of the models saying that the burning of the library at Alexandria was the greatest crime in history."
"Quite an intellectual that model was."
"This would make the year 2000 be the year 2500 technologically"
"So. Much. Lost. Learning."
Best. Party. Ever.happy homer simpson GIFGiphy
"Stephen Hawking’s time travel party."
"The only appropriate reason to time travel."
"I wouldn't go. Or if I did I'd swear him to secrecy."
"For all we know the place could of been packed with time travelers, and he took that info to the grave."
"Buy bitcoin when it first came out..."
"Kicking myself for not buying some back in 2016."
"I worked with a guy who had a sizable amount and I would make fun of him for it. I was stupid and knew pretty much nothing about investing back then."
"I had about $50k just chilling in my savings. I could be a pretty rich man right now, instead I'm broke and saddled with student loan debt. Fml."
"I wanted to buy some back in 2009 but had no idea how. Probably would have been scammed in the end anyways."
"Imagine the guy who spent thousands of bitcoins on a pizza"
"With the knowledge I have now, travel 20 years in the past and avoid a lot of mistakes... and become overlord of the whole world obviously."
"I don't know. That seems like a lot of responsibility."
"Can I be overlord of like 50 acres in the woods and a dope cabin?"
"Overlord is good. Me? I prefer All-Being, Master of Time & Space!"
"Most mistakes are healthy and are what shape us. I wouldn't have fixed any mistakes if I got a million dollars for it."
Curiosity Killed The Redditor
"Honestly just to see how everyday life was in like the 1400's for the average person. Feel like that's not something we know a lot about, or maybe just I don't know about."
"This seems like a bit of a foolish wish."
"I want it too."
"I'd want to bring along a bottle of antibiotics and a bar of deodorant soap, though."
"It was probably crap. Working long hours of hard labour is pretty much your only option. Unless you are born into aristocracy and live on an estate."
"So like ... you'd probably already be dead, depending on how old you are."
"This is a great choice, but I'm afraid that the diseases that you carry will be destructive for the people in the 1400s"
"Wait, what if a time traveling Redditor was the real source of the plague?"
"To witness firsthand important events from the past and see how accurate our history books are"
"Let me know who actually killed JFK."
"I wonder if we were there as eyewitnesses maybe it would just seem like chaos . . . hmmm . . . what event would you like to witness."
"Too many to list, honestly, but definitely the battles of Alesia, Cannae, and the siege of Orleans, as well as the sermon on the mount, and the (start of the) Hijrah."
The Paradoxback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"I want to go back in time to prevent myself from going back in time"
"This is the true time travel paradox"
"Are you implying that you have already travelled back in time?"
So yeah ... maybe let's just not.
I have a sneaking suspicion we'd get ourselves in a lot of trouble and end up jumping way more than sharks.
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When discussing statistics, people immediately become engaged.
Who doesn't want to know more?
And random facts are the best.
That is what gets you to 'Jeopardy.'
Redditor unelaboratedov wanted to discuss factual fascination. They asked:
"What is the most interesting statistic you know?"
I love facts and statistics. It's always good to know the popular averages.
How Much?jesus GIFGiphy
"If you earned $180,000 per day since Jesus was born, you still wouldn’t have as much money as Jeff Bezos."
"Of the 335 million people living in the United States, approximately 23 million adults are completely edentulous (have no teeth)."
"My guess is it's become quite common to get full dentures, including pulling out teeth for them. That's like 8 percent of the population, and I basically never ever see people with visibly no teeth. But I know several who have full dentures and probably see a lot more without realizing it."
"Racing car drivers in the 1950s, 1960s and even into the 1970s had a lower survival rate than WWII fighter pilots. Meaning those racing drivers were statistically more likely to die than those flying in battle. Crazy."
"To add to this my interesting statistic is that there’s still around 240k WWII vets still kicking. But 234 die on average every day."
"I'm an Uber driver with around 750 trips, so statistically I've been alone in a car with around 7 or so psychopaths."
"I did Uber a few years back, maybe did 100 trips. I often wonder what is the worst thing ever done by any of those passengers. Aside from the drunk girl who peed herself on St Patrick’s day."
DUIdrunk drivers GIFGiphy
"The average drunk driver drives under the influence more than 80 times before being arrested for the first time."
I feel 10X smarter already!!
"don't go there"Fishing Fail GIF by ConesulfozGiphy
"Protected fishing zones in Europe are more overfished than unprotected zones. People hear 'don't go there' and then go there."
Right and Left
"My favorite statistic, as a left-handed person myself, is that southpaws die, on average, 13 years younger than right-handed people. I had always heard this attributed to the fact that power tools are generally designed for right-handed users, making many of them awkward and dangerous for left-handed people."
"But the real explanation is far more interesting. See, until the middle of the 20th century, being left-handed was heavily stigmatized, and often viewed as a sign of the devil. Teachers would not allow their left-handed students to actually use their dominant hand."
"This actually proved to be somewhat effective. So as left-handedness became more accepted, lefty children were no longer forced to use their right hand, but older people who were naturally left-handed but forced to use their right hand continued to identify as right-handed."
"Because of this, the average age of self-described left-handed people was significantly lower than it would be if not for the previous generation being forced into right-handedness. And when the average age of a group of people is lower, the average age of death tends to follow suit."
1% to 27%
"Some EMS agencies in Arizona and Nevada have been using CCR (cardiocerebral resuscitation) instead of the standard CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation). Basically starting by doing 200 chest compression non stop instead of 30 with 2 rescue breaths."
"Within a year of implementing it, EMS providers reported that their save rate went from 1% to 27%. This last year that number has gone up to around 50%. Furthermore, the saves are no longer just getting a pulse/heartbeat back, the people are now more often neurologically intact."
On the Waves
"The most dangerous world record to attempt is the water speed record, with an 85% mortality rate. The reason being that at the speeds they reach (300+ mph), air resistance is so strong that if the boat tilts even slightly too far up, it will completely flip and crash into the water at insanely fast speeds. And as you can imagine, it's pretty easy to tilt too far up when you're constantly bouncing on waves."
"It would take 1.2 million mosquitoes, each sucking at once, to completely drain the average human of blood."
Facts are fun. Share with your friends.
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