Waiters Share The Best Clapbacks They've Ever Served Up To A Customer


Waiters are the true heroes in life. Dealing with disgruntled, hungry a**holes all day every day, working for tips that sometimes never come. Despite their smiling demeanor, sometimes waiters just can't keep their frustration in. These waiters have stories, keep reading if you want to hear them spill the tea (coffee?).

u/kelly_r1995 asked: Waiters/servers of reddit; what is the best clapback you've delivered to a rude customer?

The customer is NOT always right.

Way back in the day when I worked in foodservice we had a customer who got a salad and when she was finished placed one of her hairs in the bowl in order to get it refunded, and got the complementary "I'm sorry" free bakery item. She did this every day. Finally the DM sat down at her table and told her this was her last day eating in the cafe, they would refuse her refund today and refuse her service in the future.

She started to say something about the customer always being right and he just put up a hand to cut her off and said "you cause us to lose money every day. You're absolutely not our customer, you are a liability, and you are no longer welcome here."

Edit: Because many people have asked - it took embarrassingly long to get there. I worked in training support and the issue came to light during an associate level customer service class. They had been going with it for at least a few weeks, I'm not sure if the managers all knew what was going on, but I called their GM and DM after class and it was taken care of between the two of them by the end of that week.


The last line makes it.


Live in a small town, worked in a Fish and Chip shop (one of two in the town). We were a tourism town, and one of the main attractions was the award winning fish and chips (top 5 in the county while I was there).

People in the town believed we were in massive competition with the other shop, we weren't. We had 25+ staff, they had around 7-8 and we were serving thousands more customers than them per week or even per day in summer.

So, on the rare occasion whenever a customer got angry they would simply exclaim 'WELL IM GOING TO 'INSERT SUPPOSED COMPETITORS NAME HERE' INSTEAD, AND I WON'T BE BACK'. Like it was a big deal and would really hurt our feelings/business. We would simply tell them that we don't want them back, and they should enjoy the food from the other shop.

We owned both shops.



My manager has a women that comes in every Sunday... and complains every Sunday. This past time, she said, "I won't be coming back." And he goes, "Alright, I'll see you next week."



I was a witness to a silent owning that I get giddy thinking of. Buddy of mine serving a table and the kid is around 8-10. Gives her an adult glass for her apple juice. Dad pipes up and says he doesn't want her having all that sugar so he needed to take it away and come back with a kids sized one. My friend replied that the glasses are the same size, the adult size just looks bigger because they have thick bottoms. The dad responds that "the adult glass is clearly bigger and LIKE I SAID I don't want her to have all that sugar".

My buddy is an a**hole. He gives a super deliberate exaggerated nod, says nothing and marches to our little service alley behind the bar and re-emerges with a kids cup, sets it down beside the glass, picks up the glass and pours the adult glass lifting it progressively higher until the last drops he drops from like a foot over the glass and darts the f**k off to the kitchen without even looking at the guy like didn't even exist. I died.


Farm-raised salmon.


My brother was a waiter working with a really difficult woman. She ordered the salmon and asked when it got to her table if it was farm raised. She got mad at him because he didn't mention that the salmon was farm raised when she was ordering even though it clearly states that it is farm raised on the menu. She ordered the chicken to replace the salmon and my brother said "I have to warn you, it's farm raised".



Buncha drunks making a mess, wasting our time and harassing other tables.

Me: The manager has decided all off you need to leave. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone and your behavior warrants it.

Loudest drunk: F**k it, we're never gonna come back to this sh*t hole.

Me: That's exactly the point. Please leave.


Get wrecked.

We have sweet biscuits with icing on top. Every weekend this lady comes in, wants them fresh, with extra icing. But every time something is wrong, the main complaint being its too cold, probably due to the extra icing being on top of it, which we have told her repeatedly.

Well, this last time she came in, we give her the biscuit, fresh out the oven, loaded down with icing, and she still says it's cold. The manager tells her the only way to get it any hotter would be to melt the icing in the microwave, which we refuse to do.

The lady has a conniption, demanding to know why. My manager, God love her, says "because sugar is hotter than the seven sons of hell when it's heated up like that and no matter how much you deserved it, I be damned if I give you an excuse to have a lawsuit against us."


Smart move.


My manager gave a customer credit for an order then blocked her from delivery so she never was able to use it.


I'm bathing in this pettiness and loving it.


This is good energy.

Had a girl ordering a Pina Colada and then complaining about the coconut. She didn't like coconut. So I got her another drink and she goes: what are you going to do with that one? Will you throw it away?

I just looked at her, told her that I do like coconut and took a sip.


Definitely doesn't need any more alcohol.

Woman complained about her cocktail, saying she couldn't taste the alcohol, could we make it stronger. It was already a double, but we added a splash. She still couldn't taste it, could we add more?

She was obviously drunk when she arrived and angling to get more drunk as cheap as possible. Which is why I took her cocktail, apologized that it wasn't to her liking, and said I'd take it off her bill, effectively cutting her off for the night.


Oh snap.


Not at a restaurant but at BYU they're having Education week.

Lady snapping fingers to student employee: Tell me where the Marriott Center is!

Student employee snapping back: Try again.



I slipped a napkin with a lipstick kiss and the text 'it was great... you were great... let's do it again' in the pocket of a man's jacket.

The same man who openly mocked my colleague (she has down's syndrome) in front of his whole Christian family.


Get wrecked!

I was working the counter at a ski resort's cafe. This teenage douche came up with french fries and said that he didn't bring any money, so could he just have them for free? I said nope, he said "But I'm a good customer."

And I said okay but fries are for paying customers, and proceeded to take them away from him and pop one in my mouth right in front of him. He had nothing to say to that but his friend cracked up and apologized for him.

When I turned around all of my co-workers were in awe of how perfect the moment was.


Sounds like he was trying to show off.


Italian customer at a steakhouse in the US: My pasta wasn't quite Al Dente.

Me: You just got off a plane from Italy, ordered pasta at a steakhouse in the US, and you're surprised it was less perfect that you are accustomed to?



When I was 16 and waitressing, a woman kept criticizing the food during a busy night, demanding free meals. Eventually she started making personal remarks and I replied with the most savage burn I could think up at the time. "I know you are but what am I."

She went up to start complaining to the manager, who didn't care and walked off mid-sentence.


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