As an artist and struggling New York actor/writer I of course have waited on many a table. I've served the rich the poor, old and young, the fashionable, the plain, the kind and the evil. (There is far more evil eating out... just FYI) And it always made me wonder about strangers and their stories. In particular the stories behind the people who left me with a sense of sorrow. I've seen people stood up, celebrate the passings of loved ones from 9/11 and even a proposal gone awry. (Never ask for someone's hand in marriage with the ring on an Olive Garden breadstick!) Seeing people at their most vulnerable is definitely something you remember.Redditor u/nGear wanted to know about the times they felt a tug at the heart for a few customers by asking them to divulge.... Waiters, what's the saddest "I'm waiting for someone" you have experienced?
Shame on you young man....Embarrassed Hide GIF by flor Giphy
I was a server for 5 years and the most heartbreaking experience I had was an older woman, probably in her 60's was waiting for her grandson to come meet her for lunch. When I greeted her at the table she was very excited as I assumed she didn't see him much.
As time went by no one showed up so she decided to order. Towards the end of her meal no had shown up so it being a slow shift, me and my gf (we worked together at the same restaurant which is where we met), decided to just talk with her for a little bit and give her some company. We both felt so sad for this sweet old lady but we could tell that simple act of kindness made her day. Shame on that grandson.
Happy Birthday Sir.
I was actually a hostess at the time and I was asked to take the table for a server. An old man came in asking for a table of 6 and he asked for 6 waters. I set up his table and I put his order in. He said it was his birthday. He was there for about an hour or 2 and nobody showed up. It was really sad. He ended up tipping me like $30 and he said "Sorry for the trouble." I still think about that guy. I hope he's doing okay. :(
You dodged a bullet....
Once at my shift I saw a really shy guy, you could see that he is on a budget, but omg, he was so trying so hard and looked so exited about upcoming date! He brought one rose, and asked what he can purchase on 10 euros to make this evening beautiful. My heart melted so much that I offered him for free two glasses of wine and a dessert (I was a manager).
We put on a table some candles, and so he was sitting there and with the big smile waiting for his date to come. But she never came. He waited like 2 hours, nervously checking on his phone. When he left, he gave this rose to me and thanked for kindness towards him. He was so broke. So was my heart about this situation. :(
After Goodbye....disney love GIF Giphy
Place I used to work at had a man come in every night for a week, wait for a few hours, order food and drinks, then leave with no one showing up.
Later learned he was just trying to cope with his wife's death, believing that she'd arrive to greet him at the restaurant were they had their first date.
Not the waitstaff, but the "Wait-er."
I had set an OKCupid date at this nice coffee shop in Brooklyn. I get there, and I know the barista from college. I'm the only person in the shop at the time, so we talk a little, awkwardly. Gradually other customers arrive, so she attends to them and I attend to my phone.
It gets to the point where my date is 20 minutes late and hasn't been responding to my messages asking about an ETA. I'm sweating. Profusely. I'm so embarrassed that I'm probably being stood up in front of someone who I had several classes with years prior and knows most of my friends. I feel so humiliated.
Then my date walks in.
Stands there for a moment.
AND WALKS RIGHT BACK OUT THE DOOR
Barista: "Was that her?"
Barista: "What an a-hole."
That comment made things slightly better.
An Extra Plate....
A six-year-old boy came every day with his older brother at lunchtime and for almost a month they ordered three plates of food and always left one. When I attended to them, the boy told his older brother to ask his mother for lunch because she was already arriving, but their mother never came.
The boy's older brother asked me to give the food to someone who needed it when they left and he told me that his mother had died and that he did not know how to explain to his little brother that his mother was not coming back, but that this cafeteria It was the last place where she had taken her little brother to eat and that is why the boy believed that she would return for the dinner.
4 in a row....
A woman came in 4 nights in a row just in case she got the day wrong. She'd sit at the bar wearing the same flowery dress every night and would hopefully look at the door every single time it opened. Left in tears the first two nights when we closed, the third and fourth nights she just stared vacantly at the door until we had to make sure she left.
I never saw her again, I don't think any other staff did either but we all felt really bad for her. She got a couple free drinks and apps, we didn't even care if it was a scam cause she seemed so broken about it.
Why so Public?bugs bunny cooking GIF by Looney Tunes Giphy
Was working an evening shift and a relatively younger guy came in and waited for his date. She showed up and not even 10 minutes later he got up and left and she sat there crying.
Patrons that are there to breakup are also hard to witness.
No doggy bag?
Not a waiter, but was out with my girlfriend and we were seated next to a date.
Guy was clearly trying to engage with the girl, but the girl kept looking at her phone disinterested. Guy initiated all the conversations, only to be met with 1 word answers.
He ordered a lot of food (it's a dessert place, so a lot of small meals) and then the girl suddenly took her bag and left? He banged the table after about paying, and just left with the food untouched.
Everyone in the vicinity, including the waiters were visibly shocked. I felt so bad for the guy.
Stalled....Simon Pegg Wink GIF by Working Title Giphy
Not a waiter, but this happened to me.
I went speed dating, turned up to the venue to find it very quiet. Barely anyone was there.
The event was on the second floor, so I got a pint for the time being and sat down and waited for people to turn up.
I tried to go up to the second floor only to find that it had been closed off. Noticing my confusion the bar man asked if I was there for speed dating, I said yes, he told me it was cancelled. I didn't get an email about this, nothing.
So I sat there, dressed up and alone. I finished my pint and went home.
Dropping $1500 for Nothing....
Ugh this one was tough; I worked at a pretty fancy steakhouse in town, and we had a private dining room that could set up to 32 at a single, long table. To book the room we charged a $1500 deposit, which we then used to cover part of the bill (it was a deposit, not a room charge). Anyways, this girl books it for 26 people, puts the deposit on her card. She shows up with her sister, and then after about 20 minutes, 2 of their 'friends' show up and sit at the opposite end of this giant table from the birthday girl and her sister.
Nobody else came. They waited an hour, the birthday girl was sobbing, the other two just awkwardly left. It was awful. I'm grateful to my manager, who in a moment of compassion refunded the whole deposit back onto the poor girls card. I felt terrible for her.
Just say NO.sad adventure time GIF Giphy
Got sat a "party of 15 to 20" for a woman's bridal shower.
Her mom decorated the table and chairs and the whole corner for the party, everyone in the restaurant could see there was going to be a party there on a busy Friday night. 4 people showed of the possible 20, that includes the future bride and mom. I didn't even care about the money I was missing out on (four tables of my section gone on a busy weekend shift) I just felt so bad for her.
Why Bother Lady?
Not a waiter, but worked at a coffee shop for several years and made friends with tons of regulars. One of the regulars, we'll call him J, was working on his PHD in Art History or something to that effect at the university near us. He came in one day, got his usual tea and asked if I could charge him for a latte, but make it later, no big deal.
I was bussing tables and asked who the latte was for and very excitedly expressed that he was meeting a lady and it was "kind of a date". He was an awkward kind of guy, but very interesting and incredibly friendly. One hour passes, no show, two, no show, finally three, he's looking despondent and starts collecting his things and leaves.
She showed up 20 minutes later asking about J. Apparently they got their times completely mixed up. He comes in the next day and I mention that she came in looking for him and he looked so excited. I found out a week or so later from him that she basically blew him off a second time. He was so crestfallen, it broke my heart.
Still With Me...
Ahhh, I haven't bartended in a million years, but the saddest one was a guy in his 30s. He had a 2 top, asked for a bottle of top shelf champagne, candles lit, all that. Told me they were celebrating. No one showed. Guy looked morose, but had an appetizer, poured a glass of champagne for the person who wasn't there, then asked for the bill.
I felt bad he obviously got stood up, so I brought him a desert in the house. He smiled, and told me it was his anniversary. My face must've showed my sadness for him, so he clarified- his wife died of cancer a few month ago. It may have been the saddest thing I've seen.
Not exactly a waiter, but I was working at a bar a few years back and there often was this girl (in her early twenties maybe) who sometimes used to meet her mother at the bar (maybe about every 2 or 3 months).
The thing is, more often than not the mother either came extremely late (1 or 2 hours at least) to didn't came at all. When she came, there often was a huge tension between the two. It was obvious that they had some unresolved issues.
Watching the girl wait for hours even if it was clear that the mother wouldn't come on that day always broke my heart. As a barkeeper and since she was a regular, I tried my best to engage a conversation with her to distract her a little, but there's only so much you can do.
Fun fact: Years after I stopped working at that bar, I met her at a random party and we had a great evening/night together. She told me that she 'broke up' with her mother tho.
So it's a No?Sorry Dog GIF by swerk Giphy
Guy was dressed really nice. Says his date should be there soon and goes ahead and is seated.
He orders a drink and 30 minutes pass by... then and hour, and another drink later. He started fidgeting with something and I noticed it was a ring. After an hour and a half he asked for his check and muttered something about "There goes two years wasted and down the drain." He tipped 2x his bill.
into crack town....
This gentleman in his mid forties came to my restaurant frequently and would not order his drink until "his wife got there." He would wait for a few minutes, then pull out a framed picture of a woman, set it on the table, and proceed to order his food and drink. He would talk to the framed picture and have dinner with "her" about once a week.
I noticed him doing this often and told my coworker I thought it was cute he was having dinner with his late wife and she replied,"Oh, no that's not his wife. He found that picture at good will and has been a relationship with it ever since. He told me that a long time ago." What did I expect from working right off the freeway in crack town. Very true story, no lie.
14 is an unlucky #...
We had a 21st birthday party booked for 20, the family showed up early with a few friends. They had a few drinks and let the staff know some of the party were running late. Half an hour in, when the late people were supposed to arrive, two friends left.
An hour went by and the birthday group ordered.
Got their starters, told the service staff some more people were coming. About two hours in the mother said just bring the mains out.
It was so sad, I felt so bad for them. Being stood up by fourteen people, and the two friend who did show up didn't even eat.
"Honey, it is going to be okay."
A few years ago, I took myself to a movie and dinner. It was the weekend before Valentine's day. At the time I had a warehouse gig and that day my step counter was at 7.9 km. Being exhausted, I just sort of plopped down. Ordered quietly, sipped a beer, and derped around on my phone.
I must have looked like I was on the verge of tears (in reality I'd been rear ended at a red light the week before and just hurt all over.) Server comped my cheesecake, smiled politely, and quietly remarked "Honey, it is going to be okay." Until that point I wasn't sad to be alone- but after that I was fighting tears all the way home.
She GoneAngel's Glow Giphy
I had a regular who would always come in with his wife. One day he sat in my section and I noticed his wife wasn't with him. I asked "where's your wife today" he replied "she's in heaven waiting for me". Immediately I died inside 😭😭😭😭🥺
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
The world has changed significantly in the last twenty years. Back in the day, you could just step out of the house and be gone all day and no one could contact you unless they were back home or used a payphone.
Nowadays, people expect us to be connected all the time, which is super frustrating in its own way. But it's hard to imagine the world as it was before, right? And it's pretty wild that we just accepted it for so long, that is until technology advanced enough!
Society has changed... for better or worse. People shared their observations after Redditor Silkhide asked the online community,
"What was the most f**ked up thing that was generally accepted twenty years ago?"
"I was knocked out cold..."
"No care or concern for concussions in sports. I was knocked out cold for two minutes on the football field, nobody told me, and when I came to we just resumed the game like nothing had happened."
"I didn’t even know I was out for those two minutes until a year later when people were telling football stories. I thought I had just gotten knocked down and got back up right away. I thought it was weird everyone was making such a big deal about it."
"My first ever depressive episode started almost immediately after that game."
Thankfully, knowledge about chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) is much more widespread.
"That Oxycontin wasn’t habit forming and it was a miracle drug."
Required reading: Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty, in case you want to feel even more enraged about the ongoing opioid crisis.
"My high school..."
"My high school had an area that we were allowed to smoke. A designated smoking area for kids under 18."
Ha! That would absolutely be met with shock and horror these days.
"Being at home..."
"Being at home at your TV at a certain time to catch a show, and expecting everyone to leave you alone so you could watch it with no interruptions."
"You could be out with friends and you'd look and say, "Oh, it's 7:30 I got to get home to catch my show!" And nobody looked at you like a strange social outcast."
Ah, those were the days. The way we had to plan for all of these things, actually plan! Remember TVGuide?
"People dying of Chronic Myloid Leukemia. 20 years ago it was 100% fatal in less than five years. Now it's treated with a once a day pill with no side effects for most people... miracle science right there."
Modern medicine is indeed amazing–and changes lives!
"Female celebrities and actresses with eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. It's less prevalent now, but dang was it brutal back then."
Karen Carpenter, anyone?
Talk about an emotionally devastating story.
"There's still a lot of trouble..."
"25 years ago, I had a gym teacher who did not think asthma was a thing and wouldn't let me have my inhaler at hand in class. I walked every mile because I didn't want to die."
"There's still a lot of trouble for the undiagnosed, but tons of physical and mental health issues that were downplayed or outright ignored at least have some kind of support system or protocol now. It's not perfect, but at least we know they're real and are starting to do something."
A teacher who would have the nerve to mock a student for their disability or health problems today is in for a real wake-up call.
"Nobody said anything..."
"In middle school a student dressed up like an SS Nazi for halloween. Nobody said anything until my choir teacher told him that some people may find it offensive. Teacher was Jewish."
Yeah... that sounds like something that would warrant an immediate expulsion.
"I worked in restaurants back then..."
"Sexual harassment in the workplace. It was just starting to become a topic of conversation around the early 2000s but very little progress had been made."
"I worked in restaurants back then and the amount of harassment I and my other female coworkers endured was unreal by today’s standards. We all just learned to laugh it off because no one took it seriously."
Grateful to see the culture change for the better where this is concerned, though there is still so much work to be done.
"People would go to carnivals..."
"People would go in carnivals and shove their face in the same water barrel to grab an apple with their mouth. Completely bonkers in 2021."
If COVID-19 had a Facebook, it would love, love, LOVE this.
For any of you reading... 2001 was 20 years ago. Take some pills for your back. It might hurt.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Is it ever okay to keep a secret from your parents?
It's been said that what people don't know won't hurt them, and that can certainly depend on the circumstances. But some secrets aren't all sad, dark, and depressing. Some are quite wholesome, believe it or not!
And sometimes your parent might be in on the secret. That's right. One parent.
People were keen to share their experiences after Redditor TheCripdalorian asked the online community,
"What’s one secret you and a parent have kept from the other parental figure?"
"He fought back one day..."
"When I was 10, my older brother (12) was bullied in middle school because we were poor and wore Payless our entire lives. He fought back one day and was suspended from school. When my mom asked what happened, he didn't want to hurt her feelings so he lied."
"I told her what happened and she started to cry. The next day she took us to a shoe store and bought all three boys Nikes, which were very expensive (think Ken Griffeys). She made us promise to not tell our dad and if he asked, they were super cheap on sale."
"She bought us Nikes two times a school year even though they were way out of our budget because she didn't want us to feel s****y at school. I love you, Mom."
It's awful that we live in a world where people get judged for not wearing clothing that is fancy enough.
"The day that my mom left..."
"My stepdad and mom broke up. The day that my mom left, taking me with her, I went back into the house to say goodbye. I got along well with him, my mom is a bit crazy."
"I was young, middle school age. He was devastated and broke down (a first) crying. He told me that he had never told anyone this but the reason he had issues getting along with my mom was because he was assaulted as a child, and he was sorry. He made me promise not to tell her or anyone."
"I never did. I always wondered if I should tell her but keeping his secret was the only thing I could do for him and I still cared for him a lot so I never told anyone. I wouldn't even post it here but sadly he passed away some years ago now."
"It was really sad, he was a nice guy. But it never would have worked anyway with my mom."
You're a good person, and it probably meant the world to him.
"My Mom worked days..."
"My Mom worked days, and my Dad was on midnight shift. So meals were my Dad's responsibility that week."
"One day, instead of cooking dinner, he took me to a funeral of an old teacher of his that had passed away...so that I could eat those little sandwiches, cheese and desserts."
This makes me think of all the times we went to Costco for free samples... though nowhere near as morbid.
"My mom slipped me the money..."
"I rented Mike Tyson's Punch Out when I was in 7th grade and kept it out until I owed $47. My mom slipped me the money to pay it off so my dad wouldn't go crazy about the money, which was a LOT of money for us back then. If he'd found out, he would have prohibited me from renting games for a while."
"I don't think he knows about it even now."
This is sweet and wholesome but we bet you remembered to return games after that!
"My dad and I would wrestle..."
"My dad and I would wrestle for fun. He would pretend to let me win, then he would get sudden strength and throw me into the couch. Well on this particular day, he mistimed his throw and yeeted me into the end table. I was fine….but the lamp on the table was not. We cleaned it up and went to the antique store to buy a really similar lamp. Mom never figured it out."
My favorite part of this story is that it's a really similar lamp!
"First time I got drunk..."
"First time I got drunk at a party. I was hammered and was scared to take a cab. Then I remembered my mom telling me I could always call her for help and she’d be there with no consequences."
"I called her and she picked me up. All she did was make sure I was safe and had enough water to not get as bad a hangover as I was going to. No blaming me for waking her up at 3 am, no chiding just telling me she was proud of me for calling her for help."
"My dad, who’d most likely have a panic attack at the thought of me having been drunk, still thinks I was picked up because I was sleepy instead."
Parenting done right – good to hear that you can trust your mother!
"Now that my brothers and I are all adults..."
"Well, my parents divorced when I was quite young, and around age 14 I happened upon a substantial stash of pot in my mom's house. She wasn't angry about it or anything, and I knew she wasn't a stoner or anything, it was just a one-time thing she'd gotten from a friend."
"But as she correctly pointed out, if I ever told my dad he would do everything in his power to get full custody of me, and I wouldn't get to live with her anymore."
"Now that my brothers and I are all adults I can tell that story all I want, but yeah, I kept that secret."
Divorces can be very acrimonious. It sounds like you did the right thing here.
"That I'm the one..."
"I’m the one who got those massive dents in the back of the car when I was 17… backing into the OTHER car they owned. It was not a parallel parking hit and run."
Yeah... it sounds like it'd be best to keep this one to yourself. What they don't know won't hurt them, right?
"I got lucky..."
"I got lucky and found a Wii for Christmas the year it came out. But it was for me from my parents. Anyways, one day I'm home from school and Dad was home from work. We opened it, played Wii sports all day and put it back before Mom came home."
This is such a sweet and wholesome memory!
"The gingerbread cookies..."
"The gingerbread cookies on the balcony... Yeah, some of it was eaten by the birds, but not all of it. Sorry mom!"
You little rascal! She should have known!
Some of these stories are sweet and others saddening. Regardless, many people have their reasons not to tell their parents things. Mum's the word.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Whether it's a fad product from Instagram or something for that hobby you just know you'll start doing one day, it's easy to buy things that seem useful and then just never use them.
Redditor Doctor_Disaster asked:
"What is something that you have purchased in the past, but have never used once since then?"
Never Gonna Make That Telescope
"On a trip to Chicago at about age 14 to visit the museums, my parents bought for me a telescope mirror grinding kit from the Adler Planetarium which I desperately wanted. It had all the components needed to construct a 6" mirror for a beautiful reflector scope. I kept that kit until I was about 50 years old, moving from apartment to apartment and city to city, until I finally decided I probably just wasn't gonna make that telescope."
You Probably Don't Need The Book
"College textbooks, as a freshman you think you need them but it’s a scam most of the time. Just get the pdf online tbh. I’ve even had professors that strongly hint at a textbook being available online and for students not to buy it."
"I had a professor complaining and complaining that a mass anonymous email went out to all his students with a pdf of the text book. He just kept asking if 'everyone saw it and how terrible it was… but everyone saw it right? Everyone… did anyone miss it or not get it… that terrible anonymous email sent too ALL of his students got'"
"He was a good dude lol."
"I bought a book on methods to tackle procrastination, 7 years ago. It remains unread though I’m sure the methods within are glorious."
"On page 1 it just says, 'Congratulations! You have taken the first step towards conquering procrastination! Now just keep taking one step at a time!' Or some other cheesy stuff like that."
Bye Bye Bicycle
"Not me but my dad - bought a bicycle he never used, a year rolled by and the shop he bought it from called him and asked if he wanted it serviced, to which he agreed. Still hadn’t used it. I went to his place one day and saw the bike and asked if I can borrow it. He then tells me this story and said I can have it. Thanks dad!"
"I bought a wacom pad like a year ago cause i wanted to start drawing. Never got around to start learning."
"You know, I got one to use as a mouse. I know that sounds crazy, but I was starting to get some RSI in my hand from constant mouse use at work and home."
"No lie - once I got over the first 24 hours of it being awkward as a daily pointing device, I quickly realized that I by far preferred using it to the alternatives. When you're over the learning curve it starts to feel so much more precise. It always got me funny looks and questions when co-workers stopped by my desk, since my roles never had anything to do with illustration or design."
"Absolutely useless for anything game related, mind you. But day to day document/office/browser/other stuff? Super useful. Maybe give it a try."
Time For A Game Nightfilm opening GIFGiphy
"*Looks at the shelves of unplayed board games*"
"One day, the perfect group of people will be assembled in your house and ready to play that game... Until that day it sits on the shelf awaiting its time."
"Containers to get myself organised. Months ago. And now I’m on reddit. Not being organised."
"At least now, when you someday get the urge to organize your stuff, you will have the containers ready & be able to just do it."
You Mean You're Not Supposed To Just Collect Them?
"I'd like to introduce you to my steam library."
"Me: there are no games to play."
"Steam library: *sad game noises*"
Banger BanjoSloth Banjo GIFGiphy
"When I got my job back in April after a 3 year attempt at freelancing, my first pay check was the most exciting."
"I bought a banjo. I'm a city boy in the UK. I have no idea how to play instruments."
"To this day it stays in the corner of my room getting an occasional twang when I get a little spicy."
"Yarn, so much yarn."
"Yes, I am more a yarn collector than a knitter."
It's not too late to use that thing you bought forever ago and forgot about. It's never too late to pick up that hobby or read that book!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Trying to make a love or lust connection isn't always an easy trick when you're face to face these days. Maybe that's why the online or app connections have exploded.
At least then when you crash and burn in your attempts there are no witnesses, just a screen. So your shame is hidden.
You always want to be suave and sexy in that first impression. You only get one introduction and chance so you want to make it count.
You want your words to be funny, charming, brilliant and hot. That is a whole lot to cover in one pick-up line. Can it be done?
Well, we're about to find out...
Redditor PMme_bobs wanted to hear some of the best ways people tried to make a connection, they asked:
"What’s your best worst pickup line that would never get you laid but is hilarious?"
I always just said... "Hey you. Wanna do it?" It worked... a lot. I don't like to waste time. I get paid to be funny, so when it's free I cut to the chase.
***THE FOLLOWING IS A LITTLE SCANDALOUS!***
Low InterestHilary Duff Lol GIF by YoungerTVGiphy
"Are you a 0% APR car loan? Because you seem to have no interest and I don't understand how." ~ Ok_Coconut_1773
"'Are you sitting on the F5 key cause that butt is refreshing.' I used it once and it caused a lot of confusion until I explained it and then he laughed a lot." ~ I-like-bagels15
"You just stole that from that Side-men tinder pick up lines video." ~ Witrom
"I’ve never seen that video actually lol. I googled “pick up lines” when I was 14 and that was the one that stuck. But I’m sure others have used it." ~ I-like-bagels15
"You remind me of my appendix. You give me this weird feeling inside and I want to take you out." ~ kingJoffi
"I had a woman I matched on tinder use the appendix line on me. I followed up with 'I'm pretty sure I am your appendix, I don't want to do anything useful, then burst inside you.'" ~ midget_rancher79
"Hey gorgeous, wanna go antiquing? Cause I’ve got some junk that hasn’t been touched in years." ~ LexSenthur
"I want to point out the cleverness of this comment and the post in general - probably won’t help you if you’re single, but if you’re married it might make your wife laugh enough to get you sex" ~ TheTinRam
USCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"I put the 'STD' in "stud" and now all I need is 'U.'" ~ ntruncata
Ok, that last one shouldn't be funny. But it really is. I snorted a bit. The others aren't bad either.
IdealMarvel Studios Reaction GIF by Disney+Giphy
"My ideal body weight is yours on mine." ~ starsinmysoup
You get an "A"
"Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you but I definitely should be." ~ LKAM22
"Related, I always liked to ask a dude if he'd help me with a math problem. If he says yes, I follow up with 'If a train leaves Portland going south at 80 mph & another leaves San Francisco going north at 90 mph, how long will it be before you take me to bed with you?' Usually gets a laugh." ~ OpossumJesusHasRisen
"Back in the day I gave a buddy a pick up line to use. 'How much does a polar bear weigh?' He said it to a girl nearby and she’s like 'Idk like 800 lbs?' And he responded, 'yeah that’s what I was thinking, around 1,000 lbs…' and proceeded to chat her up! smh." ~ AskmeaboutUpDoc
Lip ActionSo Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
“'You have great hair can I touch it,' then touch her moustache.' ~ Unusual_Researcher_7
Y'all are scandalous and I'm living for it. I may try some of these.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.