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Waiters Divulge The Worst Valentine's Day Disasters They've Ever Witnessed At Their Restaurant

Waiters Divulge The Worst Valentine's Day Disasters They've Ever Witnessed At Their Restaurant

Valentine's Day is here! While there's nothing we love more than the unification of two souls, embraced in a romance that will most definitely stand the test of time, we certainly love an ol' fashioned awkward date story where everything that can go wrong does go wrong.

Fortunately, we have the people most up close and personal to tell us the juicy details.


Reddit user, u/Hamsternoir, wanted to hear:

Waiters what Valentine day disasters have you witnessed?

Just Keep Going Like Nothing's Wrong

I saw a couple have a full blown argument in the middle of the restaurant. The woman stood up, took her ring off, threw it at him and walked out. The man continued his meal, had dessert and then paid the bill, left a pretty big tip for the inconvenience and left!

Theholynun

At Least She Was Quiet?

Every year in my city, there's a big wine expo. One year it happened to fall on valentine's weekend and the expo was being hosted about half a mile away from where I worked at the time. Anyway, most of the couples who came in for dinner that night already had purple mouths, but one couple in particular was so gone that the wife spent the entire dinner with her head in her husband's lap, apparently quietly vomiting. They ended up paying and leaving halfway thru their meal and we found the wife's nice vomit surprise after they left.

To make matters worse, where they were sitting was a larger U shaped banquet meant to seat parties of 8 during regular service, but since it was valentines day, it was converted to two 2-tops. So of course we couldn't seat either table for the rest of the night until it was properly cleaned. Thank god the restaurant was a pooled house or i would have been way more peeved. Definitely made for a memorable vday

which_medication

Annnnnnnd They're Gone

I'm not a waitress but was a delivery driver for pizza hut and 2 years ago this guy answers the door after putting instructions saying to write "I love you, ____". I get to the door and say, "Happy valentines day, this must be one special lady" but he opens the door sad and says, " I tried cancelling this order but you had already left". Still paid for the order and tipped me and I left.

jazzybear_97

Just A No-Win Situation From All Fronts

my restaurant used to make you sign a contract that you'd be out in an hour since we cooked the food in front of you & the time management was REALLY important for the kitchen; Valentine's Day was the #1 day for business.

We were basically triple booked (one reservation after the other after the other... everyone needs to be out on time) at every table for the night; most of the restaurant was adjusted into 2-tops to accommodate so it truly felt crowded & loud; i don't know how people didn't expect the restaurant to be busy.

the time crunch was a lot of pressure for me as a server, but there were some couples that genuinely would blame the restaurant for "ruining their experience" [by getting their food out too quickly] & try to get a refund. when they wouldn't get a refund, because they clearly signed a contract & we agreed to get their food out on time, they would just fight more, then blame the restaurant for their fighting.

oh boy. i loved Valentine's Day.

anonynix

The Longest Three Hours Of Our Lives

A perfectly nice date. Then out of nowhere they stopped talking...for three hours.

Then started a big fight, who has to pay and that she didn't even want to come and that he is tired of her sh-t. She runs out crying, he's yelling after her "I'm not paying!". Lovely.

InflexusSerafina

Oof, Indeed.

Last year I started working at a restaurant. [A] man had called in asking for a reservation. The next day he came in and sat down. After entrees he ordered a dessert and when it came out it had a "Will you marry me?" written on it. [The] woman yelled at him saying "Why would you do it like this? Such a lame way."

She destroyed the desert and ran out of the building.

oof.

JakeYourPall

This Is Why We Have Calendars On Our Phones

The free entertainment some waiters and waitresses get on this special holiday is pretty unforgettable. When I was a waitress, I had to work part of Valentine's Day at a restaurant & bar, and I'll never forget one encounter in particular. A middle-aged guy came into the restaurant already buzzed, and he demanded a booth. Since he had a reservation, the hostess seated him in a booth, and after he sat down, I brought him some menus. He kept anxiously looking at the door and his watch every few minutes. I asked him if he wanted to wait to order until his other guest arrived, and he laughed and said "oh yes, I'll wait, and then someone else may come by later, but I'm not sure yet." At first, I didn't think much of this, but later on, everything clicked.

The guy's date eventually showed up, and by that point, he was ready to order, so he quickly asked for more alcoholic drinks and appetizers. I brought the couple their food and drinks, and a few minutes into their meal comes another woman dressed all fancy, and she walks right up to the same guy in the booth. She gives him the most surprised face I've seen in years, looks angrily at the girl, and then slaps the guy straight in the face. She swore at him and huffed out of the restaurant. Several seconds later, the original date stood up, splashed the guy's cocktail on his lap, and stormed out of the restaurant.

I was shocked at how everything escalated so quickly, but I felt bad for the two ladies. When I went back to the table to see if the guy wanted anything else before giving him his check, he laughed and told me that he probably shouldn't have scheduled two Valentine's Day dates at the same restaurant, but oh well. I hope these two ladies found a honest and loyal significant other after that fiasco!

langspeak

"Putting ALL The goods out there."

I was waiting on a table and it was a date for Vday which also happened to be their first marriage anniversary. The girl was beautiful. Tall and blond and was a collegiate vb player. Her husband a handsome military dude. They were fine during dinner and having some drinks, but the girl took what she thought was her allergy pill ended up being her ambien.

She was 4 whiskeys deep at this point and when it kicked in she literally fell asleep sitting there, smacked her forehead on the table as she fell out of the booth and landed on the floor, her red dress hiked up in a bit of a spread eagle type display while having been rolling commando for the evening. Putting ALL the goods out there.

Her husband, took it in stride and asked for a hand getting her out to their car.

tripweed

Seriously. This Is Why We Have Calendars On Our Phones. There's No Excuse.

Former bartender here (not a waiter, I know).

Saw a couple come in. The guy was super nervous and the girl was super hot. They sat at a table and just ordered waters from the barmaid. Their talking got heated (I couldn't hear it over the music), and then she tossed the water on him and stormed out.

Guy walked over and said he'd just broken up with his girlfriend and could be borrow a towel.

I asked him why he chose to break up with her on Valentine's Day.

He looked at me. Looked at the door. And then said "oh sh-t. No wonder she was so pissed."

F-cking idiot. I poured him beers all night, but I never gave him an ounce of sympathy.

Kahzgul

Really Staying On Top Of Things

ONce had a call from a guy on the 15th asking to make a reservation for valentines day. I pointed out it was the 15th and he was a day late. He responded saying that yes he knows, and his wife suggested he better not forget next year.

funnysht1234

One Is Bad Enough, But Two?

Two failed marriage proposals on the same Valentine's Day.

The first one simply said "no I can't do this," and walked out.

The second one stared like a deer frozen in the headlights for an excruciating 30 seconds before muttering "let's talk about this later." They stayed for the rest of their 6-course V-day special dinner, eating and making painful small talk.

jimmyjohnjohnjohn

Awww, That's So HEY Where Are They Going?

It wasn't disastrous for the couple as much as it was the restaurant. I used to work at a small southeastern franchise restaurant, it wasn't anything you could mistake for upscale. We had someone call in and ask if we could fry the ring he was planning to propose with in a hush puppy. Extremely weird request, but we said sure.

They come in to eat with their families, she gets her order of hush puppies, doesn't choke on the ring and seems excited enough. Stayed at the table for about two hours total and chatted.

They dined and dashed.

lacroixisbad

Not Off To The Best Start

not really a disaster but this guy came in and said he was waiting for his date, he stayed for 5 hours waiting and she never showed, he eventually ordered for for himself and asked that I remove the other glass of water from the table, he said it was their first date

ryanzbt

Sometimes, It Just Doesn't Work Out

Not a TOTAL disaster, but still not good.

Had a table of two people, probably in their mid 40s last year. Took 45 minutes for this couple to get their entrees due to our kitchen being way too slammed. When they were dropped at the table, they immediately asked for to-go boxes because they told their babysitter they'd be home by a certain time. I overheard the wife say "well I guess this is why we don't celebrate Valentine's Day". The worst part was that they weren't angry, just... very sad.

My personal feelings about dining out on Valentine's Day aside, I felt so horrible that this couple clearly had put in an effort to have a nice night with each other only to have it go that way. (We comp'd their meals, btw).

banville750

Tell Us How You Really Feel

Saw a couple have a full on argument at a restaurant. I wasn't their server but the table was directly in the center of the restaurant and they were certainly loud enough for everyone to hear. My manager kindly asked them to leave and the guys response was to yell "I've been wanting to do that sh-t for 2 years now" and stormed out

PackersFan8712

This One Was Personal

I was working as a waitress in a Sushi restaurant and Valentine's Day was an all-hands-on-deck shift. This guy I had just started seeing wanted to go out, but I told him that working in food service, you never get Valentine's Day off and we'd just have to celebrate the day after or the weekend after.

Nope. He got so upset that he went and asked a different girl out, came to the restaurant I worked at on V-Day and sat in MY SECTION. He then proceeded to spend the entire evening making a fool out of himself and making his date uncomfortable as he tried to make me jealous.

Needless to say we didn't go out again. Ever.

venustas

Everything Was Wrong

Back when I served food at one of those super touristy seafood restaurants, I worked a Valentine's Day double shift. For lunch, this younger couple came in celebrating their one year anniversary. I offer my congratulations and proceed to do my usual spiel before taking orders. The girl is looking more and more dismayed the longer I talk. Finally I get to the end and ask if there are any allergies. She looks directly at her boyfriend and states, "yes I'm allergic to fish and shellfish." Then looks over at me very sad.

I made sure every aspect of her meal was fine for her. But It was that look of "we've been dating a year and he still takes me to a restaurant that could kill me" that really did it for me.

allthewrongwords

Yeeeeesh

Happened to my poor co-worker;

A guy and his date came in for Valentines Day. They had a great time, ate a lot of food, drank a lot of wine, and got along really well with my co-worker who was their server.

About two months later they come back in and request my co-worker again, who happily says yes to serving them. He goes up and greets them, the guy introduces his wife to him, and my co-worker mentions something about how much he enjoyed serving them on Valentines Day. They go quiet. Wife gets up and leaves, guy just lowers his head.

Turns out he had brought his mistress in on Valentines Day, but my co-worker didn't realize he was with a different woman this time around so didn't think anything of it. We never saw the guy again.

Vesploogie

"He paid and left in tears."

He proposed, she said no. He cried and tried to change her mind for 20 minutes while she sat there stony-faced. She finally got up and walked out.

He paid and left in tears.

SpinachandChickpeas

Salt And Lemon On The Wound

Not really much of a disaster, but last year my work called me up, "hey buddy, we know you're single, can you come in as an extra shift tonight?"

Background_Extra52

Hey, That's Not So...Bad.

A 16 year old boy proposed to a 15 year old girl with a cheap ring in the whipped cream of her dessert.

She said yes.

DirtyDratini

Or Did You Come At The Exact Right Time?

I walked up to a table and was about to drop off the bill, caught the end of "it's over." Guy looked at me dead in the eye and said to "split that f-ckin check, right now."

WritersHardBlock

Too Cliché To Laugh At

It was like a movie. I was bartending at an italian restaurant (not a fancy one, but still) and it's pretty much full of valentines dates. A guy walks in and sits at the bar by himself, looking pretty down. He asked for a whiskey, so I poured it, told him it was on the house because he looked like he needed it. He proceeds to tell me his story:

he had come to the city to surprise his girlfriend for Valentines (about a 5 hr bus trip between cities) and he sure surprised her. She was in her dorm room f***ing one of his friends from high school. He didn't know what to do, so he just walked into the first place that sold alcohol. I spilled as much whiskey as he wanted and watched the raptors with him. Never saw him again.

It's cliche, but it happened.

rjwyonch

People Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Ever Refused To Date Somebody

Reddit user bigdawgcat asked: 'What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn’t date somebody?'

Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.

Generally speaking, we watch movies to escape our current realities and be transported to other worlds.

As a result, we don't always walk into movie theaters hoping for a truly authentic or genuine experience.

After all, how many people in real life actually met the love of their life at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day, after hearing them on the radio?

When it comes to historical fiction and dramas, however, some might say the facts and historical accuracy are a bit more important.

Indeed, part of the ongoing grudge over Shakespeare In Love's surprise Oscar victory over Saving Private Ryan was the latter was applauded for its accuracy, while the victor was anything but.

However, what probably helped in Shakespeare In Love's upset despite its many historical inaccuracies was that when push came to shove, it was a very good movie.

Redditor Agreeable-Beach-3009 was curious to hear what other films people thought were so good, that their anachronisms and inaccuracies should be overlooked, leading them to ask:

"What's a historically inaccurate movie that gets a pass because of how good it is?"

You Mean, Rasputin WASN'T A Demonic Sorcerer?

"'Anastasia'."

"Can you imagine getting murdered, then a movie gets made implying the woman who claimed your identity was the real deal and had to fight a freaky wizard's curse, and there were two knockoff movies made in the same year?"

"Songs were boppin tho."- vworpstageleft

"CRETACEOUS Park" Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It...

"Most of the dinosaurs you see in 'Jurassic Park' are actually from the Cretaceous Period."- 3loodwolf117

First Hand Accounts Were Probably A Bit Hard To Come By...

"Gladiator."- chewie8291

"Almost nothing about the movie 'Gladiator' is historically accurate, but it doesn't matter."

"S tier historical drama."- Pixelated_Penguin808

Russell Crowe Gladiator GIF by MOODMANGiphy

Those Costumes Though!

"Amadeus."- Sgtp3ppers

"I feel like 'Amadeus' gets a pass because it's an adaptation of a stage play and as an adaptation, it's not trying to be historically accurate but to instead tell a great story, which it does phenomenally."- LadicusRex

Making His Lies Even More Far Fetched...

"Catch Me If You Can."- Bender_Wiggin

"While it all being bullsh*t does take some of the magic out of it, it’s still an entertaining story."

"And the soundtrack absolutely slaps."- rnilbog

It's Safe To Assume The Spanish Inquisition Had A Lot Less Singing And Dancing...

"History of the world part I."- whopper68

"Rome didn't have bullsh*t artists collecting unemployment?"

"Did Mel Brooks lie to me?"- CrunchyDonut42

Giphy

Good Delivery Can Disguise Almost Anything...

"Tombstone."

"But I really do love it."- Iwouldntifiwereme

"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"

"The Life of Brian."- Visible_Claim_388

"'He’s not the messiah he’s just a naughty boy'."- dcrico20

For One Thing, Dogs Can't Talk...

"Balto?"- rmr236

"I love how the premise is that the little girl is telling the story as an old woman, but she was unconscious the whole time."

"She’s definitely pulling that shi* out of her a**."- TheFufe10

sad shame GIFGiphy

There Is, Indeed, A Sucker Born Every Minute. Including Many Who Thought This Movie Told The Truth...

"'The Greatest Showman' makes PT Barnum look like a better person than he was in real life."- viridianvenus

He Was A Man Of Many Talents... This Wasn't One Of Them...

"Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer."- nogoat23

"That movie crosses the absurd into awesome, and I love it."- FactoryOfBradness

Stretching It...

"A Knights Tale."- SoCalRc

"I always wondered how Queen never admitted to stealing such a banger from hundreds of years ago."- londoner4life

heath ledger love GIFGiphy

Some Of The Irish Accents Were Less Than Authentic As Well...

"'Gangs of New York'."

"Historically accurate setting, costumes and some characters/gangs, but the plot and the events supporting it are largely fictional."

"Damn good movie though."- Lieutenant_Skittles

Tom Cruise Swinging A Sword Is More Than Enough For Some People...

"The Last Samurai."- The Last Samurai

"I was surprised at how good this movie was when I saw it this year for the first time."

"The costumes, action, and acting were all quite good."- OutlawQuill

More Memorable Than The Truth?

"The 1970 production 'Tora, Tora, Tora' pulled off one of the great cons of modern cinematography."

"It convinced an entire generation of Americans that after the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, the Japanese Admiral Yamamoto had said 'I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve'."

"There is no evidence that the quote was ever spoken by Yamamoto."

"But it was so perfect and convincing that subsequent Hollywood movies released in 2001 (Pearl Harbor) and 2019 (Midway) unquestioningly passed it off as legitimate."- InstrumentRated

Movies are, first and foremost, a source of entertainment.

As a result, most viewers pay no mind at all to all the complaints historians and scholars may have about them.

If you're looking for speedy answers for a history test or essay, it's best to stick to the textbooks and not rely on Spielberg or Scorcese.


Legs of a Military recruit next to their personal belongings and American flag
Benjamin Faust/Unsplash

Mischievous military recruits in the process of basic training may not always be seriously punished unless they commit a serious crime like stealing.

Instructors punish those in training with an assortment of disciplinary tactics, which can include yelling and "getting dropped"–or being ordered to do push-ups.

Some instructors, however, like to get creative.

Curious to hear about some unique forms of military punishment, Redditor Defiant_Concert_9542t_9542 asked:

"What's the most hilarious punishment you've ever heard of someone receiving in the military, and how did they end up in that absurd situation?"

These recruits were made to be the laughing stock.

"Forgetting The Hat"

"A couple of guys hated wearing their cover (hat), so they kept 'forgetting' to put it on when going outside."

"Sgt made them each 'wear' the other guy's hand as cover for a few days. They looked so ridiculous/miserable walking around holding another man's bald head."

– Scaphismus

Bad Hat

"Had a guy forget to put on his hat when coming outside during basic training. Instructor told him that it wasn't his fault but that it was the hats fault. He made the guy spank the hat and yell 'Bad Hat' over and over. After that he said even though the hat was bad he still needed to let the hat know that he loved him. He then made him caress the hat and tell him that he loves him."

– Kmo78

Importance Of Being On Time

"So this guy was constantly late to everything. Never out of bed on time, never in formation when he was supposed to be, etc."

"The Sargents pulled a clock off the wall, attached a bike chain to it, and make it look like a big a** necklace. (If you were a rap fan back in the day you may know where this is going)"

"They made the dude wear it like a Flava Flav clock chain. They would constantly scream at him 'Flava Flav what time is it?!?'"

"He learned to be on time real quick."

– LeluWater

Things get more creative.

Perfect For The Gullible

"We would tell every new person in our squadron that they had to set up an appointment with 'Captain Dees.' We'd give the person the local number of the Captain D's restaurant. They'd call the number and ask to speak with Captain Dees. It was hilarious every time."

– Kmo78

Ladybug Story

"I once had a ladybug land on my desk during morning inspection. When staff found it. I had to write a 500 word biography of who the bug was etc. and then had to make sure he was there for the rest of the week in good health for every morning inspection that week. Lol"

– withoutwarningwood

How Touching

"Newly promoted to Sergeant me and my buddy got the task of pre barracks inspection prior to our new CSM barracks inspection which was to be after our 1SG barracks inspection. Ya... anyway, the new CSM wanted troops to actually have their rooms decorated and lived in looking which whatever right? So everything is going fine we're still in good with the E4 Mafia so we're given heads up on whose rooms actually need inspected and which we could just skip cause they were squared away. Last room of the evening and it's bare as a prison cell. Troop was using his woobie (poncho liner) as a blanket, no pillows and literally nothing in this room that wasn't issued not a thing in his fridge etc. Come to find out he has been sending all like seriously ALL his money home to his mom to help raise his 4 siblings. Me and the other Sergeant ordered him to come with us to the PX, we got on the horn to our 1SG explained the situation and he met us at the PX with our entire upper NCO chain and the Commander. We forced this kid to buy over 1000 dollars of items/food/tv/etc for his room and all the money was donated by the NCO chain and the Commander. That was a great leadership was very sad to leave that unit. Sorry long winded lol"

– geriatric-sanatore

Free Concert

"We had a guy who could just not get his sh*t together. We all know that troop. Even the easy things were hard, etc etc."

"The cadre found out he was a former opera singer and also fluent in German. So they made him write and sing opera songs about his f**k ups. This was the only thing he was good at."

"Now here’s where this gets hilarious, beyond one dude singing self-deprecating songs in a marching formation. The cadre would bark 'German style!' and he’d seamlessly switch his lyrics to German. They’d yell 'underwater style!' and he’d take his index finger and flip it up and down on his lips as he sang, making the song sound bubbly."

"Not only could the cadre not hold it together, the guys in his company would absolutely lose it. Complete breakdown in military bearing, and no one cared. Other cadre and instructors would come just to listen and they would be in tears laughing."

"I don’t know where you are now homeboy, but thanks for the laughs."

– vmikey

Environmentally Conscious

"Having to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he was wasting."

– International_Set522

"I remember one of the others on my intake being sent over to the nearest tree to deeply apologise for wasting the good oxygen this tree produced and explain to said tree why he was such an utter t*t...."

– The_Burning_Wizard

Lesson to be learned: don't lose or forget things that are essential.

What's The Big ID-a?

"Guy kept losing his ID/leaving it sitting in the computer. Chief 'borrowed' it, took it to one of those one hour print job places, had it blown up to like 3 feet across, cut the picture out, and made the idiot walk around all day holding his enormous ID up with his face in the cut out hole. He stopped misplacing his ID after that."

– HakunaYouTaTas

Don't Lose The Rock

"We had a tradition when you were new to the unit and went on our first summer exercise (National Guard) that you would need to carry a rock around with you. It was an inspectable item so it needed to be with you at all times. You were not to let anyone else have this rock. The trick was if you lost the rock, you'd get another rock chosen by the platoon sergeant."

"One guy had a hard time with the 'Don't give this to anyone else' and kept losing his rock. After the 4th or 5th time, the platoon sergeant gave him what I can only describe as a small Boulder. This kid had to lug that rock around for the next week but he made damn sure not to lose it."

– Lawson470189

The Long Road March

"1995 - At mile 4 of an 12 mile hump (quick water break), my assistant gunner forgot the tripod for the M60. The platoon sergeant made him hug and apologize to every tree along his side of the road for wasting oxygen for the rest of the road march. 8 miles of this and no one could go past him. A road march that should've taken three hours ended up taking 12. There's a lot of trees at Ft. Campbell"

– MrL1970

The road from being a recruit to soldier is a tough but rewarding one in the end.

While some of the punishments and actual training tactics seem insurmountable, they build character, better physical endurance, and resilience.

It may be grueling, but it's all part of the military world.

Are you up for the challenge?

It feels like everything under the sun is expensive these days.

So maybe when we look at price tags, we're just having a little financial PTSD.

Some items and services that were once doable have turned into a years-long savings plan.

Like where do the cable and internet people get these price points?

Especially for their "services."

Please.

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