Vulnerable People Reveal The Hardest Thing They've Admitted To Themselves
Vulnerable People Reveal The Hardest Thing They've Admitted To Themselves[rebelmouse-image 18361856 is_animated_gif=
The truth hurts. The truth can be one of the most difficult things to face in life. And the truth can also set you free. In fact the truth in any form is the gateway to self freedom. We all do wrong in life and hiding away our craven thoughts and mistakes can compile on so many things like guilt and sadness, which makes the situation so much more unbearable. Sometimes the hardest things in life to understand are also the greatest learning lessons.
Redditor _\shokusei _**asked some people to share... **\What's the hardest thing you've ever had to admit to yourself?
That the only way to stop being lonely was to act like I wasn't lonely in the first place. It totally worked, I even wrote a post about it on /r/socialskills if you want some more details.
FOLLOW THE TRAIL...[rebelmouse-image 18361858 is_animated_gif=
That something was definitely wrong. I bought some new shoes and it was causing tingling in my feet and legs. So I relaced them but it didn't change things.
As the days went by at work it got worse and started to make my legs go tingling further and further up. So finally I decide to get new shoes on my weekend. The next day my hands start tingling.
The day after that it has traveled all the way up my arm and so I could feel it in my pec area.
So this was the point, both my entire legs and my arms had started to lose feeling I finally told my wife "okay time for a doctor, my bad for me not addressing this a few weeks ago." Turned out to be MS
DON'T MAKE IT A REALITY...[rebelmouse-image 18361859 is_animated_gif=
Just because something COULD happen, doesn't mean it WILL. You don't always get closure, relationships don't always pan out the way you thought, your life doesn't always follow the script, it's not a movie.
But, I don't let it bring me down, because it holds true for good AND bad things. Sometimes, I've been so sure something would never happen, and then it just does, completely at random. I just try my best to be open to all the twists and turns life throws my way.
LISTEN CLOSELY...[rebelmouse-image 18346065 is_animated_gif=
I wasn't the perfect friend in an unappreciative world, I was actually bad at being a friend and an annoying person in general.
I was always thinking, "I am such a nice person, I am so thoughtful, I am such a good listener, yet people don't want to stay friends with me for some reason - they think I am uncool and can't think for themselves." I guess I was like a NiceGuyTM but in the friendship sense. I wasn't being such a great friend really, I was using being nice in a transactional way, I thought: I am nice to you, you will be friends with me. I wasn't being thoughtful for people because I really cared, it was just another bit of good will I wanted to trade for companionship. And I wasn't a "good listener," I just felt that it was what people wanted so I gave to them.
My kindness was shallow and craven, and people could tell. I didn't realize that people don't want some sad, overly-sensitive person -- at least not emotionally healthy people. They want people who are fun, who can roll with the punches, who don't make you feel like you need to boost their flagging ego constantly by gushing over their cloying gestures. Friendships are about balance, give and take. People who make good friends, people with healthy egos, don't like to be made to feel like they are the taker all the time or on the receiving end to friendly gestures that are just too much.
IT'S QUIET TIME...[rebelmouse-image 18352788 is_animated_gif=
I talk too loud, getting overly excited and brash, while talking about topics that interest me in social settings. Alcohol also increases my volume and assertiveness.
STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES...[rebelmouse-image 18980230 is_animated_gif=
That I'm not as smart as I think I am. I'm not always right. In fact it's better to keep in mind that there's always a possibility that I'm wrong. It opens my mind a lot more, makes me more understanding and just less condescending in general.
JUST SAY NO![rebelmouse-image 18346862 is_animated_gif=
It's okay to say no. I'm a people pleaser and it's been an uphill battle for me to learn to stand up for myself and not let people take advantage of me.
GET OUT OF YOUR WAY...[rebelmouse-image 18980231 is_animated_gif=
That some of my patterns of behaviors and thinking were destructive and only resulted in my sabotaging myself.
However, it's also the best thing I've admitted to myself because it allowed me to look at the root of the problem and address it. There's a lot of work to be done, but I believe it'll only help better my relationship with myself and others, and help me become my best self.
PEACE OUT...[rebelmouse-image 18347251 is_animated_gif=
That just because someone is fundamentally a wonderful person, it doesn't mean that they're the right person for me.
Sometimes it's fairer to break things off rather than just spending the rest of your life sort-of-happy-maybe-if-you-squint-a-bit. Better for all concerned.
OWN UP![rebelmouse-image 18348509 is_animated_gif=
A lot of my problems are my fault.
Some are, some aren't.
I read in a book that it doesn't matter whether or not something was our fault. What matters is that no matter what happens to us (and who was at fault), we must take responsibility for how we respond.
MISTAKES GET MADE...[rebelmouse-image 18347764 is_animated_gif=
That i officially screwed up my college degree by a year. It was hard to gulp down that news.
SORRY... TRULY...[rebelmouse-image 18980233 is_animated_gif=
That even though I have a good heart, I've done some crappy things that I can't take back.
WHEN IT'S DONE... IT'S DONE![rebelmouse-image 18980234 is_animated_gif=
I'm not getting a second chance with her, no matter how badly I want it. She has moved on and completely forgotten about me.
HEY GIRL HEY![rebelmouse-image 18980235 is_animated_gif=
The gay wasn't going away.
That was a tough thing to admit to myself.
Same here. Took me 8 or 9 years to admit that one to myself after the first realization that I pushed right down to the bottom of my subconscious. To be fair, I was only 13 or 14 when it struck me for the first time, attending a catholic school and with a publicly anti gay marriage father. Years later I was talking with a girl online who I thought was cool, and she was talking about her experience of being gay. And I was like...wait, that's me too...
CHANGE THE MINDSET...[rebelmouse-image 18980236 is_animated_gif=
That I am my own biggest problem, and will never be happy because I don't feel I deserve it.
DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY...[rebelmouse-image 18980237 is_animated_gif=
That I feel numb inside. You know when people say jokes or you say jokes and your laugh feels empty? But you can fake it to make it sound like it's real? Or when you smile and it doesn't reach your eyes? Or when people ask you how you feel about them and you just lie because you don't feel anything at all when looking at them or even when you try so hard to say anything? That's what I feel everyday and I had to admit to myself that I am not happy and that I don't recall when the last time I truly was.
KEEP THE TOXIC BACK...[rebelmouse-image 18980238 is_animated_gif=
That the 13 year friendship I had with one of my best friends was toxic and irreparable. I always made excuses for it because of the length of time and the closeness of our friendship, but when I took a step back I realized it had all the clear red flags of an emotionally abusive relationship. That's when I realized I really didn't want the emotional and mental weight of being in that friendship anymore.
MEOW...[rebelmouse-image 18980239 is_animated_gif=
That I already had enough cats.
YOU ONLY NEED YOU...[rebelmouse-image 18346072 is_animated_gif=
I might die alone and that's ok. Living a full life might be enhanced by someone else but it's not a requirement.
PREACH!!!![rebelmouse-image 18980241 is_animated_gif=
That not everyone likes me and it's ok to say no to people.
People Share The Absolute Worst Relationship Advice They've Ever Received
Relationships are hard, and sometimes, they're confusing. When you're having a problem with your partner, or you're inexperienced and looking for lessons, you turn to your friends and family for advice.
Sometimes, the advice is sound and helps make things better.
Other times, the advice is trash and makes everything worse.
Redditors know this all too well, and are sharing the worst relationship advice they've ever gotten.
It all started when Redditor Spectrelegit asked:
"What is the worst relationship advice you've ever heard?"
Loyal As A Dog
"Any "loyalty tests". Always a bad idea."
"Heard a youtube therapist once say that as soon as you decide to do a loyalty test, you've already decided the relationship is over because either they fail and you can't trust them, or they pass and you show them that you don't trust them and they stop being able to trust you"
"Ultimatums fall under a similar category."
"If this is a current situation it sounds pretty toxic, and if you are unhappy I hope you get the support you need to make any changes."
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend
"Spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring. This was literally started by the rich diamond families to increase sales."
"My girl literally threw a jewelry store book at me with the ring she wanted circled and happily said there was a coupon lol. It was like $80 but it's the one she wanted. We've been together for almost 10 years and happily married for nearly 3 now"
"Yeah it's ridiculous, there's lab created gems that are basically the same and a fraction of the cost."
"I’ve said this to friends and family several times when they’ve asked me while stressing about picking out expensive rings:"
"if the ring is the problem, then the ring is not the problem."
Not The Way To Go
"There was a Reddit post about a guy who told his partner that she stunk several times a day. Poor girl was horrified. It got to the point that she was showering incessantly, using industrial strength deodorants and he still complained non-stop."
"Paraphrasing here, but when finally confronted, it turns out his father had given him this sound advice: “Tell a women she smells bad, and she’ll never leave you.”"
"Daddy was wrong."
Anything Doesn't Go
"That you only truly care if you're "ride or die.""
"An ex once told me that she thought if she pushed me far enough that I'd leave. I told her "Yes, I would leave. Why would I want to be with someone who thought so little of me that they'd push me far enough?""
"I had put up with a lot of abusive behaviour from her and it didn't last much longer before she tested my statement and I did exactly what I said."
"Totally!! And that you should love your partner “unconditionally” ie any behaviour goes. Nope"
Maybe Not The Right Person To Ask
"A friend of mine once prefaced some unsolicited advice about my 10-year marriage with the phrase, "I've been in dozens of relationships..." and then he went on to rant about how men shouldn't do the grocery shopping or something stupid like that."
"Right, we had a three times divorced friend who loved to give relationship advice. Most of it was BS."
"The Children" Need A Good Example
"Stay together for the kids."
"I was the child. Please don’t."
"I was also the child. Your children know when you don’t love each other, when you’re fighting all the time because you decided to stay with someone you can barely tolerate. They will live with that knowledge and grow up with a warped perception of love and relationships because they were never given a proper example."
"They will either become obsessive and do whatever they can to make someone stay, or they’ll develop a fear of commitment that will ruin every relationship before they even get the chance to try it. Divorce can be messy, especially when kids are involved, but sometimes the alternative can be far worse. If you decide to have kids, do right by them."
"“There is a perfect person out there”"
"No. No there isn’t. There is no such thing. People change as they experience life. To believe someone will stay the same forever is silly. Pick someone who you can grow with and shares common values with you. Everyone has to make some compromises and that includes someone making them on you too."
Not A Great Justification
"Being married is like eating spaghetti every night for dinner. No matter what sauce you put on it, it's still spaghetti. Sometimes a man needs to eat some steak once in a while."
"That was from my dad while trying to justify cheating on my mom."
Look Good For You
"My (very attractive but very unhappy in her own marriage mother) tried to make me believe that the secret of a successful marriage is to look desirable at every hour of the day and night . Make up, clothes, perfume… anything to keep the husband interested. Having a personality is nice but not necessary."
"I feel guilty of this, although I also feel like I can take the time to get ready all I want, he’s still going to admire someone else and probably in front of you. Just get ready for yourself if it makes you feel better. I have always hated to go out in public to run into anyone bareface, whether it’s an old friend, someone who picked on me in school, an old crush."
"Not sure where it came from me being this way but growing up my parents made fun of me when I’d have no make up on. If I got bad grades or did something that upset them they’d take it away and give it back saying “I need it.” Then other days tell me I wear too much of it, like high school wasn’t enough already. I could never win."
"I know several people who believe this and it’s sad"
Don't Be Who You Are
"When I was a teenager, my mom told me to not let boys see I was smart because no man is attracted to a woman whose smarter than he is. Also, I should work on my laugh because no one would be attracted to my laugh."
"Being smart and passionate about your interests is the most attractive thing ever"
Tell Me I'm Right
"Most people that come to you for relationship advice don’t want to advice they want you to validate the terrible decision they are about to make."
"I think your statement applies to advice in general. A lot of people to want to actually change or put in effort, they just want validation for their choices."
Yeah, that tracks.
We cannot believe some folks are dishing out such advice!
Has anyone every told you something truly crazy to keep a relationship propped up? Let us know in the comments.
People Break Down Which Historical Figures Are Seen As Bad Guys, But Weren't Actually Bad
It's easy to assume things about history since we weren't actually there. We're taught to believe everything we read, but often times, it takes more research to figure out the truth.
There are a lot of historical figures we believe were bad based on what we first read or heard. However, upon further research, we find out they weren't actually that bad.
Some of them got a bad reputation even though all they did was make a mistake. Others just weren't appreciated for their ideas and inventions during their own time. Some of them are even heroes!
It seems Redditors did some of that extra research and are ready to share their findings.
It all started when Redditor jamespeech111 asked:
"Who is a bad guy in history who actually wasn’t a bad guy?"
Before His Time
"William Thomas Green Morton died broke defending his discovery of anesthesia. He was a dentist and didn’t get much respect from the doctors at the time. IMO one of the most important medical discoveries."
"anesthesia is arguably THE most important medical discovery in history. Modern surgery is literally impossible without it."
The Wrong Story
"Richard Jewel - initially lauded as a hero and a brave man who ran towards the bomb to help…"
"then the FBI and media turned on him and accused him of doing the bombing himself… because;"
"he was actually just as f*cking outlandishly brave and ran toward the bomb to help people,"
"They took his truck for evidence, he had to go into hiding… made a villain by incompetent people… For YEARS… finally exonerated and dies shortly afterward"
Aye Aye Captain
"Captain Bligh. His mistake was being too soft rather than too harsh. He let his crew slack off while they were waiting to make sure the breadfruit trees would survive transplantation, and they mutinied when he put them back to work."
"It should also be mentioned that when his some of his crew mutinied so many of them wanted to be allowed to leave with him on the ship's tiny open launch that even fully laden they would not all be able to go and had to draw lots to see who had to stay on The Bounty. Captain Bligh then had to sail the tiny overcrowded poorly provisioned boat 6700km to Timor using dead reckoning. He did not lose a single man."
"The McDonald’s coffee lady - the woman who sued mcDonalds after she spilled coffee on her lap received 3rd degree burns in her pelvic area. She was hospitalized for 8 days and required a couple years of rehabilitation."
"The media jumped on the story making it a poster case for frivolous lawsuits."
"Omg I vividly remember this story! It was so sad tbh. At first I thought it was stupid too, but then I read she had severe burns and all. She really wasn’t overreacting."
One Comment Changed His Life
"Niccolo Machiavelli. Machiavelli didn't invent the idea of lying or ruthlessness. He made an observation about what worked and tried to get a new gig."
"Now his name is synonymous with "heartless manipulator.""
"Agreed. People often reduce his message down to "you should be opportunistic and manipulative", which wasn't what he was saying at all."
"It was more that he recognised that the worst atrocities in society typically occur during or shortly after huge political upheaval, and believed that if preventing that sometimes requires being opportunistic and manipulative, then that is a price worth paying."
"And whilst we all have lines that we think a regime shouldn't cross, and limits to what power a state should be allowed to exercise, he did a have bit of a point. If we think of the worst atrocities across history, they do tend to follow political upheaval. Had the Treaty of Versailles not sought to punish a generation of Germans, Hitler may never have risen to power in the first place."
"Ironically, some of the people who were great admirers of Machiavelli's philosophy, like Joseph Stalin, were responsible for the very kind of terrible things Machiavelli was warning people about."
Queens On The Throne
"Pharaoh Cleopatra, she was actually a pretty good ruler with her focusing more on her nation than just abusing her position for her own benefit, there’s even some records saying that she wasn’t even all that beautiful, she was however very intelligent with stuff like how she learned around 10 different languages"
"First member of the ptolemaic dynasty to bother learning Egyptian. She did amazing things in managing to actually expand Egypt's territory in a time of Roman dominance.... however in the end she monumentally screwed up/lost her nerve at the Battle of Actium and doomed pharaonic Egypt."
Money Talks...And Lies
"Captain Hazelwood of the Exxon Valdez."
"He is often pictured on the helm of the Exxon swaying drunkenly going full throttle into the reef talking like a "pirate.""
"What actually happened."
"Valdez's critical navigation equipment was out of commission, faxs sent to Exxon and Exxon told them to sail instead."
"Coast guard budget cuts removed vessel tracking in the area."
"Green and tired crew was on duty, request was made to relief crew. It was denied."
"XO who was on Conn at the time was inexperienced on the passage and neither requested pilotage."
"While Hazelwood did drink that day he was not in command of the conn at the time and was in his quarters resting."
"Hazelwood made a comment that "He needed a drink." Because of how upset he was over the situation."
"Exxon's PR paid off the media to blame Hazelwood."
"However Hazelwood was charged with only one charge which was for pollution. He proved he was not a drunkard and retained his captain's license. Even getting offers to sail again which he turned down."
"The real villains are mass media, False News, and comedians but Exxon's PRs spending power to keep the blame off them."
"Hazelwood passed away last year after the annv of the spill."
"Random fact the Valdez sailed until 2008 under different name Oriental Nicety"
Not A History Book
"In brave heart, William Wallace gets betrayed by Robert the Bruce which never happened, he was loyal to the end"
"That movie made me so angry. I grew up on it, and loved it for what I assumed was a historically accurate portrayal. Not only is the movie absurdly inaccurate, the real history is arguably more interesting that the movie! There was no need for "artistic restructuring". They could have just dramatized the actual events and it would have been a great movie"
"In the film Titanic the character Murdoch killed someone, took bribes and generally came across as a right sh*t. He was a real life person who was actually a hero and saved many lives. His living relatives were so disgusted that the VP of Fox travelled to Dalbeattie to personally apologise and presented a £5000 donation to Dalbeattie High School to boost the school's William Murdoch Memorial Prize."
"That movie's initial gross was over $1.8B! Donating £5000 is like the average US man giving them a dime and saying my bad"
A Bad Accusation
"That woman who was accused of kidnapping children because her kids didn't have her DNA, but in fact her uterus had different DNA than the rest of her body."
"Lydia Fairchild. She has chimerism, so her uterus has different DNA from the rest of her body (the DNA of her absorbed twin)"
"Tom the cat. Jerry is a menace."
"There was a post the other day talking about them and how they are actually working together."
"As long as jerry keeps running around, the humans think they have a mouse problem so they keep the cat. As long as Tom keeps showing he’s making an effort they think he’s doing a good job. But they are both in on it and just do it to keep up appearances."
"There’s apparently an episode where they work together to get food from the fridge, then hide and share it as friends before going back out and chasing each other again."
I can so buy into that!
Well, this was more interesting than many of our history classes!
Do you have any interesting tidbits to share? Let us know in the comments below.
People Describe The Creepiest, Most Unexplainable Events They've Ever Experienced
We witness things on the daily that follow us.
Some linger in our minds and haunt us.
Others shake us to the core.
It's inevitable that each of us may have a strange experience to regale a party of people with.
The more we discuss, the more repressed emotion we release.
Being haunted forever isn't fun.
Especially because another creepy event or moment lies around the next corner.
Redditor H5N1BirdFlu wanted to discuss the moments in life that left us haunted and shook, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest or most unexplained event that you have ever experienced?"
I've seen so much creepiness I wouldn't know where to begin.
DealWalter White Wink GIF by Breaking BadGiphy
"One car from one direction, and another car from the other direction stopped in front of my house. Both drivers got out and one gave the other a briefcase. Now that I am older I am guessing it was some kind of drug deal or something but at the time I found it very weird."
"We had a little copper music box that would start playing on its own. It was a man sitting at a player-piano and it would play 'The Entertainer' song. Now, I know that music boxes and such can spring (for lack of a better word) forward and play a few notes, but this thing would act like someone had wound it up and would play for a minute or two completely at random."
"Me and and someone I used to know in high school way back when met to catch up. We were talking about our views on religion at some park. When we were walking back to our cars some guy said he had overheard us. We interacted a little and then went to our cars. I told her how awkward I felt knowing he overheard everything. She looked at me and said, 'He?'”
"After some comparing notes we realized we’d seen and heard entirely different people. She’d seen an elderly woman. I’d seen a middle aged man. Only problem is we only talked to the one person."
"I usually go hiking and stay in the forest overnight, sleeping in a bivy and sometimes under a tarp. Now it's important to say I'm based in Europe. So no wild animals to be afraid of because usually they just boot it as soon as they notice you."
"So one winter night I'm sleeping under my tarp which connects to the ground on one side. It's in an area where there were fierce battles in the forrest on the border between Germany and Belgium in WWII."
"I hear something walking in the leaves, which is normal. There are always deer and ferral pigs on and about. But this time it comes closer and closer until I hear it right on the other side of my tarp and it starts growling. Its a noise I gad never heard and for a moment I was frozen trying to figure out what it might be and what to do."
"But I just decided to yell back and that did the trick. The animal walked a few steps and then turned back to growl once more before finally retreating."
"Let's put it this way, I didn't sleep for a while after that. I looked up the noise and think it was a badger."
DevouredEpisode 4 Abc GIF by The BachelorGiphy
"My family used to raise cattle. One morning I came out to check on them and I found one of the heifers had been more or less completely devoured."
"This same cow was perfectly fine the day before. There was nothing left but some hide, bones, and intestines. Thing is none of the predators that are in my area would be able to kill and eat an entire cow within the course of one night. Much less leave so little behind."
Poor cows. They live a rough life.
The Night BeforeGet Out Omg GIF by Get Out MovieGiphy
"When I was a kid, we lived in a kinda rural area. One night we came home late from an Uncle's house and there was a car parked up the road from our house with the headlights on."
"My mom suggested to my dad that we go see if they need help, he said no, so we went inside. Next morning police knocked on the door, a cyclist had spotted a body in the ditch exactly where the car was parked the night before."
"I have had a strange thing happen recently. I was waiting for my tax documents to come in so I could do my taxes. I had three documents that I put on my bedside table until I had the time."
"I decided to do it the other day and I couldn't find one of them. I tore the house apart, quizzed my husband (who swore he never touched it), checked the garbage, etc. I had resigned myself to the fact I would have to request another one, when it arrived in the mail."
"It was the same one, exact same information. I was really confused but grateful. I checked into it, it was not sent twice as far as the office could tell me."
"I don't know what to think. I KNOW I had that document because I had done some calculations with it. It's been itching at me like crazy."
About 30 Feet
"A few months ago I was sitting in my living room on the couch, watching tv with a family member late at night. We have a high ceiling with a couple of rectangular windows at the very top of the wall just under where it meets the ceiling. The windows are so high (about 30 feet) we really only have them for natural lighting."
"So on the night in question, a green laser beam suddenly shown down through one of the windows, seemingly scanned the entire living room before stopping and pointing the beam right next to my family member for about 10 seconds and then disappearing entirely. It had to be either a drone or from some sort of flying aircraft. I live in a relatively secluded place which made the situation all the more unsettling."
"Pretty sure I witnessed a kidnapping once and it still lives rent free in my head (the woman lost her slipper when she was trying to get away and i took a picture of it that i still have for some reason). I did indeed report it to police right after I saw it occur but they were pretty blasé about it and I never ended up being able to determine what they did to investigate."
From Behindthe exorcist shadow GIFGiphy
"I was in Jr High and had really long hair. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and almost tripped on a shoe on the floor. I bent down to move it and it felt like someone grabbed my entire pony tail and yanked it. I also could not sleep facing the wall for the longest time because it always felt like someone or something was right there behind me."
Never face the wall. Life lesson.
These were some harrowing experiences, and we're glad these Redditors made it out to tell the story.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
People Reveal The Turnoffs That Make Them Not Want To Have Sex With Their Significant Other
Sex and relationships can be very dramatic.
It's not always fun and sweat. More often than not, it turns into wine and snores.
The truth is, it's not difficult to turn someone off.
One minute you're a hot dish. The next, you're stale meatloaf.
The question is, who is responsible?
Or is this relationship dead?
Redditor NeedSomeSparkInLife wanted to know who would be willing to share, so they asked:
"What makes you not want to be intimate with your SO?"
I'm an easily turned off person.
So it doesn't take much.
DesireBored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Taking a moment to realize I'm the only one that makes sexual advances in the relationship. Makes me not want it. People think men only want sex for face value but a lot of men actually want the feeling of being desired more so."
"I've always heard of fighting then having sex after. Fighting has always made me not want it. The last thing I want to do when someone pisses me off is have sex with them. What made it worse is she always wanted to when we were arguing which made the argument worse when I refused."
"I think you're supposed to resolve your fight, realize that you care for each other a lot, move past it, then have the passion because of that. Not fight right into sex."
Take a Shower
"My ex and I were together for nearly 7 years, but his hygiene never improved, so we stopped being intimate like, 3 years before I finally broke up with him. He showered only once a week, but he worked in kitchens, so he was sweaty and greasy all the time."
"He had an infected tooth, so he constantly had bad breath, but he refused to visit a dentist, even when he had the money to afford dental work. He stopped working out within the first year of us being together, which sucked because he would get jealous if I went to the gym by myself or with my girlfriends, but he refused to come with me."
"Personally, the only issue I have is my SO's drinking. He just becomes an unattractive person when he's drunk. It's one thing if we're both out socializing and drinking together occasionally, but he drinks almost every day, sitting on the couch in front of the TV and to the point of sloppy drunkenness way too often. His face changes, his posture changes, his personality changes... I just get so turned off."
Hang UpArt Hello GIF by LINDSEY L33Giphy
"When they are glued to their phones non stop! Put that s**t down and look at me before we go to bed!"
"I really dislike this too. Makes me feel alone in the relationship."
No phones in bed. Hard rule for many of us to follow.
Step BackBe Quiet Go Away GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy
"When I make a move, and then get the feeling she's not really in the mood/would only do it to please me. I want us both to have a good time, not only me. So when she seems not into it, I take a step back."
"To be brutally honest, her anxiety and insecurity makes sex such a hassle. She doesn’t believe anything I say about wanting her, she can almost never relax during sex, she doesn’t take time to enjoy it, and if God forbid I have any trouble finishing, she takes it more personally than anything, which of course puts more pressure on me to finish, which then makes it almost impossible."
When at Wal-Mart
"When they’ve done something really nasty/unkind that day. Cruelty is the most ugly thing a person can show, in my eyes. I had a boyfriend that I went to Wal-Mart with and he ended up flipping off and storming right past the sweet little old man that checks the receipts at the door."
"It was partially about how I used to check receipts and I remembered how I felt when people treated me like that- but I also remember the look on the little old man’s face and just how disgusted I was with my partner being so nasty about it."
"I couldn’t touch him after that and I got grossed out when he touched me. And then I started to notice how he was nasty to other people as well. It eventually led to our break up."
33 Years In
"My husband used to dislike his job - he’d come home and do nothing but bi**h. After awhile, I just gave up trying to cheer him up with sex - you can only try so long. So, we had a long dry spell - like, whatever you think a dry spell would be, it’s longer. When someone is constantly annoyed, well, it’s hard to feel amorous."
"Anyway, he early retired (54) like a month before Covid kicked in and by autumn that year, well, let’s just say we’re back to what we were like when we first met. He’s not pissed off all the time. (I’m retired as well, and let’s just say, afternoon nookie is such a perk, as is morning nookie and 3am nookie because you can sleep in!) I’m glad we stayed together. Going on 33 years and we’re just so happy."
RageAngry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Feeling angry. I hate feeling angry. I don't like being around other people when angry. So I'll go for a walk, a drive etc, and just clear my head."
It seems like "dead bed," as some folks call it, can stem from many things, from mood, attraction, hygiene, and more.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments.