Vindicated People Talk About Someone They Hated That Everyone Else Loved
You know that person who gives you the WORST vibes, but you can't figure out why?
Reddit user DeadVince has and was aching to know if other Reddit users have ever been right about their uneasy feelings:
Have you ever (correctly) had a gut-feeling to dislike someone who, on the surface, was a cool person that everybody else liked? What's that story?
Here are the answers he got back.
City council hired another medic. Older dude with long hair, not that that matters. He was new to the scene recently completing the course.
Guy why awesome to hang out with. Went to the bar with the younger emts, played video games, etc.
At first I thought he was cool but as I observed his work (I was his superior and did his probationary eval) I noticed something was off.
At the private council meeting I spoke openly about this in his 30 day review. I stated something was off. He didn't seem like a people person and generally the type that would do this job.
They said that I had no grounds to state that he wasn't suited and that he did his job as described.
I countered with the fact that when caring for people being a people person is an unwritten rule and that doing your job without caring leads to mistakes, and in our job field a mistake means death.
They weren't having it so I finally said "look in this job field you need to learn to read people and in telling you that something isn't right here"
City council told me that basically I was jealous because he got along with the emts. Honestly I could careless, I'm not in this job for them.
Fast forward a month and I get a call from an er about an hour from us. They said that their report said the patient was administered 80mg of drug x. The patient denied receiving it and since they couldn't figure out wtf the medic would have even given it they ran a tox panel on him which showed that he did not receive it.
The doc told me normally he'd let it slide as an error and ask me to speak to him about accuracy, but he felt something was off.
I thanked him and after hanging up pulled the trip sheets. Right in the run report it has the drug, the amount given, and the time.
I pulled up the narcotics log. It showed drug given and replenished along with the tag numbers.
Next I called a friend of mine who is a local cop and was off duty at the time. He came over and I opened the other medics narc box. Sure enough it had been opened and replaced.
We then went through his logs for the past 2 months he had been working and located at least 12 times drugs had been given when probably not needed.
I called the er doc back and explained to him and his exact quote "here's my personal phone number and our lawyers number. I'll fax you over a written statement along with the test results. I'll see if we have anything on other patients he brought in"
My buddy then called dispatch to tell the council members there was an emergency at the station and they need to come in.
When they got there we showed them all the evidence and what we suspected. Within 15 minutes we not only had the da approval but also a judge sign an arrest warrant.
Turns out the dude admitted to having a 20 year pain killer addiction that he ran out of sources so he figured being a medic would give him easy access. He even told the judge he was worried that he would have killed someone just for the meds.
At the trial I was asked for what resolution I wanted. I told the judge being a paramedic I've seen how drugs change a person and that I don't hold him fully responsible. On my recommendation he got 3 months in a locked drug rehab facility followed by 6 months of house arrest.
4 years later the dude is clean and runs a fund raiser to help raise money for the end to provide anonymous narcan services and drug awareness programs.
Today this guy would be an honored member of my crew. Addiction literally changes people.
The end result is I now am solely responsible for hiring the medics, reviewing, and dismissal. I no longer need to justify to council why someone was dismissed. This job is one where a gut feeling decides someone's fate. Mywifefoundmymain
Not Always Right
Sometimes our gut instincts are only sort of right.
When I was in seventh grade, there was this girl who was really quiet and sort of creepy. And she smelled. (like sh*t--literally.) She wore these odd dresses that looked like pioneer dresses (homemade). And she was just, well, creepy. No one talked to her. People tried to avoid sitting next to her. We all gossiped about her as being the epitome of creepiness.
Then one day she was gone. Didn't come to class.
The next day, it was all over the news: the police had arrested these horrifically abusive parents, who were neglecting and abusing their daughter, and who had kept their younger son locked in a cage his entire life. And never fed him. The younger boy was kept alive by--you guessed it-- his older sister. The police were led to the house by neighbors' complaints about the stench.
So this poor, smelly girl was suffering abuse from her parents, and all the while sneaking food and water to her little brother--who was literally locked in a cage for years upon years... keeping him alive-- and then coming to school, where she would be avoided and mocked behind her back and sometimes humiliated.
She was a weirdo, and our "guts" all told us there was something wrong there.
But she was a f***ing hero.
(never heard what happened to her after the parents were arrested. hope she recovered.) DerProfessor
I never trusted my ex bf's uncle. I just knew he was trouble and had issues with him visiting or my ex visiting him.
He was arrested in Florida last year for production and selling meth and hosting a prostitution ring out of his home. Later learned the ex partook in all the activities at his uncle's home. Apparently my gut was right about the uncle, but not about my ex. polaroid2271
My snake did.
I had the sweetest, chillest ball python who never nipped or hissed or reared up or anything. She'd just curl up with you and hang out. One day a friend brought over some of his friends and all of a sudden my snake went nuts - standing straight up in her tank and hissing at one of the guys. A couple of weeks later, that dude robbed my house while I was out of town.
RIP Guinevere. A good snake. addlepated
Rule One: Don't Steal
Interviewing a guy for a job. Something doesn't feel right but my interviewing partner really seemed to like him. We get to his portfolio of work and I see my side project that I worked on alone as one of his websites. So I start asking him questions about it. What challenges he had, how the client was, etc.
I let him go on and on then I say, "I have to level with you. This is my work. You are showing me my own work. Look at the source near the footer. It has my website in the comments.
He went ghost white and I just sat there.
After that I coached him a little on how not to suck and he left. We called the contract agency that sent him and let them know. _____FRESH_____
Sometimes You Just Know
My older mother got this "boyfriend." Mom was in her 60s and the boyfriend was probably mid-sixties also. One day she brought him over to my house, where I was a single mom to a 3 year old boy. I'm usually friendly, or at the least polite, but I looked at that guy and said "no, don't come in my house." My mom was SHOCKED.
She said "[name], this is Blah Blah, my boyfriend!" I told her I was sorry. [deleted]
Fool Me Once
My sister's first husband. I was 5 when they got married, and I only actually met him a few times in person because they lived on the other side of the country. My family really loved him--he was charming, athletic, smart, handsome, financially secure, and seemed like a great dad when they had kids. Plus, he was never anything but nice to me. But I always sensed something shady about the guy. When I was in the 5th grade, I remember getting in huge trouble for a class assignment--an essay describing our families--in which I described him as a bad person--pretty much word for word, "there's something I just don't like about him." It was one of the only times I got spanked as a child.
Well, fast forward a couple years, and my parents discovered that he'd been abusive to my sister and the kids almost the whole time. They ended up divorcing, and he has proven to be a complete sociopath ever since. He hadn't paid a dime in child support, despite being well off enough to buy a new luxury sports car every few years, and uses their two kids (who are now teenagers who know he's full of sh*t) to play mind games with my sister--bringing her to court for full custody, knowing he won't win due to his past, just to cause her inconvenience and rack up legal fees for her, just as an example. He also has refused to let the kids fly out to visit our side of the family a few times for no reason whatsoever. He's an ***hole, a narcissist, a complete f***ing sociopath and somehow 10-year old me was able to sense it before anyone else in my family. kittyface93
No Country For Dog Thieves
My mom brought her new boyfriend over the house one time for me to meet him. He weirded me out. I can't tell you why but I didn't like him. Maybe it's because he was a 35 year old man who wore visors. Friendly and funny guy who my family liked. A year into their relationship he beat the hell out of my mom and stole her dog. Probably the closest I've come to an assassination attempt. RanxShaw
When I played highschool football we had an equipment manager who had been doing the job for decades and was absolutely adored by the community. Guy was in his 70s-80s.
One day, I'm ready for a game early, so I head out to the bus that's taking us. I see him loading stuff up, so I offer to help him load a few things.
Once we're all loaded on the bus, he walks to me in the back (cuz I was a cool kid) and hands me a Hostess cupcake in front of everyone as a thank you.
He handed me the cupcake, looked me in the eye, and this sense of dread just falls on me. I have no idea why, and everyone's looking at me so I act normal.
I eat the cupcake (because I was, and still am a fat ass and will eat any cupcake you hand me) and just kinda write off the feeling.
That summer he was arrested for sexually assaulting some 15 year old girl. I'm pretty sure they thought he did more, but couldn't prove it or something. ThatGuyWhoEngineers
Awful Day In The Neighborhood
While in the Army we moved into a new house in upstate New York. We were being neighborly and talked to a guy across the street. He had 5 kids. No wife. He also had multiple neighborhood kids playing in the yard. He told us We can always send ours over. He gave us both this horrible feeling so we smiled and gtfo. About a year later my wife told me (i was in Kandahar) that his kids were taken from him. He had been molesting them at least ever since his wife died. i-need-burittos
To Catch A Predator
About 15 years ago I worked in a small office, mostly men, all who I really liked. A new guy started one day, and instantly I had a bad feeling about him. I don't even know exactly why I felt that way, and all the other people seemed fine with him, so I did my best to be polite, and find things to talk to him about. I was in my mid-30's, he was about the same or a little older, and we both had young sons, so I was able to find some common ground. Apparently he and his wife didn't live together, she might have been back in his home country. But I could never shake that bad feeling.
A year or so later, I had left the company to have my second son, and a friend who had taken my place there called me one morning, and said "Did you read the paper today??" That man had been arrested in another state, apparently having been set up by an FBI sting online, where he had been chatting with who he thought was a 13-year-old girl, and was meeting up with "her." In the trunk of his car, they found a video camera and rope. Daisy_W
Yes, but I suppressed it so quickly and fast, because I felt like it was horribly ungracious since she was being so friendly. Over the next couple years, she became my closest friend in the new town I had moved to. Then the following couple years it vacillated between being close, but just feeling like she really didn't want me around or was messing with me a little bit. Turns out she was having an affair with my husband and was literally intentionally driving me crazy. AllysWorld
Dial M for Misguided
It was a coworker of mine, call her "M". M was friendly, and everyone liked her. Something was up with her though, and I had a bad vibe. She was always complaining about money issues, but then would go out for meals or come into work with new clothes that were not indicative of someone with severe money problems. She allegedly complained of such severe financial problems that she was telling people she was having trouble putting food on the table for her kids. It was that level of desperation. Everyone really liked her, I didn't. I had a really odd feeling about her, like she was being constantly deceptive.
People would always help her out, either by giving her gift-cards to Target, extra clothes or canned food.
She also complained of car issues for a period of several months. This wonderfully kind lady at work - "C" - let M borrow her car during the workday. This was so that M could use whatever money she said she had to go to the store and buy food for her family. Additionally, she used C's car to take a nap from time to time. She claimed to work another evening job and she was often very tired.
Every year, our company sponsored a local family that needed a lot of help. We were a small business at the time (<50 employees) and we'd all donate something to the family at Christmas. It was usually toys, clothes, gift cards and so forth. This year, we decided as a group to my silent opposition that M would be our "family" this particular year. We amassed close to $1,100 worth of food, toys and clothes and presented it to M before Christmas that year. She cried, and said thank you.
Three months later, C's car was stolen right out of the employee parking lot. Coincidentally, M didn't report back to work that day after lunch. Long story short, M had made a copy of C's car key at some point and stole the car and drove out of state with the intent to flee and not return. We had come to learn that M had a long history of criminal charges, and M was eventually arrested in a traffic stop after C reported the car stolen.
As it turned out, M was a financial criminal, specializing in identity theft. She had swindled many people, and had a long criminal history including multiple felonies.
Right from the beginning, I knew something was up with her that I didn't like, but I couldn't put a real finger on it. I don't know why I saw it and no one else did. I actually began to question my morals, asking myself "Why do I dislike M when everyone else does not?" I wrestled with it personally for some time, but in a weird way felt vindicated when the truth revealed itself. TheySayImZack
Ski Slope Blues
The girlfriend and I used to work at the same ski hill, and the place was pretty much full of seasonal employees. Revolving door status. Anyways she got this new dude in her department that everyone thought was a super nice guy. I did not trust him. There was just something about the way he talked to female employees that just seemed...weird. he was trying to gain their trust way too quick. I made my sentiments known to my girlfriend and other friends and they thought I was just being jealous or something. I worked part time out of town at the time, and he'd aways ask me what days I was gone, it was weird. He also didnt have a car, so sometimes my girlfriend would give him a ride home and he'd ask her to hang out at our place when i was out of town. She declined. So at the end of the season, a female friend of ours and this kid decide to rent a place together (they weren't dating) and as they're in the final steps, Federal Marshalls show up and arrest him. Turns out he had been on the run for over a year for kidnapping and raping a girl in a different part of the country. His family had been helping him, and he took the name of his brother while on the run. Filling out the housing application somehow tipped off the marshalls. Trust your instincts. hyphen8892
My mom was a single mom and did the best she could. However, she thought it might be better to leave me with the neighbor than at home alone. From the age of 6, I pleaded with my mom to let me stay home alone until she got home from work, that I would be ok. My intuition was right. The neighbor was convicted of multiple murders of single mom one and two towns over when DNA evidence came into being. He only liked to date and kill nonobese women. Fortunately my mother was fat. seagullhunter
Foster Foul Play
Some girl started talking to me on the bus ride home. I thought there was something off about her but my parents, who are inherently optimists, told me to be nice and hang out with her. They even invited her over for dinner a few times. She lived about a 4 minute walk away from me so it was hard to come up with excuses not to hangout.
We eventually hung out a few times and I found out that she was a foster kid and had gotten bounced around a lot. She was also on a lot of medication for bad joints, bipolar disease and a few other things (she was almost 18). Well anyway turns out she was having an affair with the father and they plotted together to kill the mom so that they could be together. They made sure to plan it during a time when the dad was out of town. The girl ends up stabbing her foster mother to death and the families biological daughter is the one to call 911. They put the 911 tape up online and it was the worst thing I've ever listened to. rndomusername
My former handball coach: Everybody liked him, but I had a weird feel about him; After training he would come into our showers and give out shower caps for us to use, or in the winter, he would bring us snow to play. A few years later, he got arrested for sexual assault, when he went to a training camp with younger girls. Apparently he got into their tents and "played" with them.aphelii0n
Listen To Your Friends
My best friend in high school was a girl who didn't have the best taste in guys. She started dating a new guy, who was 20 when we were 16. The dude was a classic douche. He went by a mononym, didn't have his license, and just sponged off of everyone around him. I immediately had a bad feeling about him, and voiced my opinion to her. Well she got very angry, and said a lot of very shitty things about how I was just jealous, and pretty much burned a ten year friendship down in one fell swoop.
About a week after that happened, she found out she was pregnant, and he didn't take it well. He beat her, and threw her down a flight of stairs, and then left her at the bottom to die. However I decided I didn't want the friendship to end over something stupid so I went to try and find her to talk. After a while found her at his house in a crumpled heap. I drove her a few towns over to the nearest hospital, and sat in the waiting room all night with her family. She lived, but was so badly beaten that I couldn't even recognize her at first.
The boyfriend was found 3 days later at a relative's house. I think he gets out of prison soon though. TruthinessVonDee
Bad News Reel
A few years ago, when I was still in college, I took a summer job at a movie theater. I met a lot of really cool people there, including my SO. But there was this one guy who always gave me the creeps. We'll call him Drew. He was friends with almost everyone, including my SO, and had been for years. We'd attend the same parties and he'd do all these little things that would feel like red flags to be, but apparently not to anyone else.
Fast forward about a year. I no longer work there, my SO and I have been together for maybe a year, and he has been promoted to manager. Drew has also been promoted to supervisor. It should be noted that there were a lot of teenagers employed at this theater. One day, two of the younger girls come into the office (if they were 18, they were only just) to talk to my SO. They tell him they're sorry, because they know my SO is friends with Drew, but they have to tell him something. The younger one tells him that a few weeks prior, she was sitting alone in the break room, eating her lunch. Drew walks in and says to her "Do you touch yourself?" She doesn't answer. He says "Because if not, you should." I think he said more, but my SO eas so furious when he told me that story that he was having trouble telling it.
My SO fills out the report for the poor girl and passes it onto the GM, who then informs him that Drew had five counts of sexual harrassment on his file already. But corporate loved him. So they could never fire him.
My SO never spoke to Drew again. Last I heard, he was fired removed from his job at a brewery by security for sexual harrassment. Many of our other friends are still very close with him. I don't understand it, but I'm just thrilled to have that creep out of my life. KitchenSwillForPigs
Reddit user CoreyMatthews asked: 'Pet owners of Reddit, what are some examples of your pet doing something that made your realize how intelligent they are?'
We all love our pets.
And be it a dog, cat, parrot, or turtle, we all like to think our pet is cuter and smarter than everyone else's.
Most of the time, that is purely owing to our unending love for them.
But every now and again, we might witness our pet do something truly extraordinary, leading us to believe that our pet truly is the smartest animal on earth.
Redditor CoreyMatthews was curious to hear about the times people were truly blown away by the intelligence of their pets, leading them to ask:
"Pet owners of Reddit, what are some examples of your pet doing something that made your realize how intelligent they are?"
Talk About Coordination!
"I watched both my cats sit in the hallway and roll a ball back and forth between them gently and on purpose."
"They both know how to open doors."- TurbulentStep4399
The Real Truth About Cats And Dogs
"I had a cat that learned to turn on my radio so I would think the alarm was going off and get up to feed him."
"He and my dog would also team up on me in various ways."
"The most memorable was when I had gotten a little water pistol to squirt the cat when he got on the kitchen counter."
"I always kept the water pistol in the very back corner of the kitchen counter."
"I got home one day, and the water pistol was chewed to pieces on the floor."
"It was too far back on the counter for the dog to have reached it by herself (and it’s not the sort of thing she would normally have liked to chew on), so the only explanation is that the cat climbed onto the counter, pushed the water pistol across the counter until it fell on the floor, and then convinced the dog to chew it up."- TheBat3
More Than Most People Can Say About Their Children!
"My 6 month old kitten will alternate bringing his mylar ball to me or my husband to throw--taking turns."
"He plays fetch better than my dog did."
"He puts his toys away at bedtime."
"I have a small basket that we keep his toys in."
"At bedtime, I'll tell him, 'Let's pick up your toys' and he will get any toys that hasn't been eaten by the couch and drop them in his basket."
"No hard balls/toys as he can't pick those up with his mouth."
"I pick up those."- Danivellecat playing GIFGiphy
The Female Of The Species...
"I had two Shelties and one large dog bed."
"The female Sheltie did not want to share the bed with her brother, so whenever he was lying on it she would go to the door and start barking like crazy at … nothing."
"He would leap up barking and race to the door to guard the house alongside her and as soon as he got out of the dog bed, she would run back and curl up in the middle of it."
"He never caught on."- NoNefariousness104
Always On The Lookout
"My dog greeted me at the garage door when I got home."
"He then had me follow him to my daughters room, then my sons room, then the front door."
"My mother in law had picked up the kids."
"He was telling me that 'this one and this one are gone and went that way'."
"Let’s go get them!'”- YourFriendInSpokane
Asking Permission Never Goes Unnoticed
"I had a blue heeled mix that was crazy smart."
"Two of many examples:"
"He was occasionally allowed to eat table scraps off of a plate but was never allowed to beg."
"He had to wait until the plate was put on the floor."
"One day I was caught up working on my laptop and had put the scraps from my dinner on the couch on a plate next to me."
"An hour or so went by and I saw him pick up the plate off the couch and put it on the floor so he was allowed to eat it."
"He slept in my room and was getting up in years."
"One night after I was settled in bed he let me know he needed to go outside, thinking an older bladder, I got up to take him out."
"Instead he went to the kitchen and turned to look at me."
"Curious I followed him."
"Same thing , he went to the family room and waited for me."
"When I turned on the light, he went to an end table near the TV where one of my teenagers had left an uneaten piece of fried chicken."
"He stood and stared and it and then turned to me and I swear he asked if he could have it."
"I laughed and took the meat off the bones and put it in the floor for him, after which we both went back to bed."
"How he knew that chicken had been left there is beyond me!"
"I could share dozens of stories like this."
"He was as smart as most humans I know."
"I will miss him forever."- JCKligmanndog human eating GIFGiphy
Peeing With Purpose
"My mom's cat had a urinary infection."
"So he peed a tiny bit in the bathroom sink and waited by it for my mom to see it."- HyliaSerket
Everyone Wants A Little Attention Every Now And Then...
"A small thing, but my cat will paw at my hand when he wants to be petted."
"The first couple times it happened, I didn't think anything of it, until I realized one day that he basically had me trained/conditioned to pet him whenever he nudged or pawed at my hand."- Square-Raspberry560
And You Thought All They Could Do Was Change Colors
"My chameleon will look me square with both eyes and make a chomping movement with his mouth when he’s hungry."
"He’ll also pat at the glass if he wants to come out."
"He’ll hold a grudge, calculate ways to go or get what he wants."
"One of my Boas will only look at me when hungry."
"She had a go at caudal luring whilst doing it the other day."
"Like 'look, dude, I know you bring the food'."
"I’m hungry, look I’m even trying to lure you to give me some food'."
"It worked."- UgglugGiphy
A Kind Gesture Is Never Forgotten
"My brother’s cat, Coconut."
"We live 2,600 miles apart."
"The first time I met her, I gave her a little pink fuzzy kitty toy."
"2-3 years later was the next time I was able to visit her again for the 2nd time ever."
"She immediately disappeared & came back with this filthy, dusty, brown toy that had obviously been hidden away somewhere."
"We dusted it off & it was the toy I had gifted her years before."
"She remembered me."
"My brother said he had never seen the toy again until that day."
"She’s also very precious with her toys & will leave them outside his bedroom door as bribes."- emilyyancey
"When she was a baby I said, 'Go get your toy!' in the same pitch I always do."
"Never trained her with that phrase."
"She went a grabbed her toy and came back."
"I tested her again the next day and the next day."
"She went to her toy pile and brought back a toy each time."
"She picked up the phrase by herself."
"She's also the first dog I've had that looks at planes in the sky when they fly overhead and recognizes dogs on TV even on mute."- Spare-Bread8416
Get The Tissue Ready...
"I have two cats and a dog."
"A little backstory about my dog:"
" I don't know anything about dog training."
"I wasn't even thinking about adopting a dog but it seems like it was one of those things that 'meant to be'."
"My sister found him on the street at a winter night."
"We thought he was lost and there is an owner looking for him."
"Because where I live we have so many strays and you wouldn't see many 'specific breeds', they are just strays and specific breeds have an owner 99% of the time."
"So we took him home and start to search for the owner but it was obvious that poor dog went through some sh*t."
"And we learned about his story from an animal society; that he had a few owners but all of them left him to the streets because he was barking a lot (we haven't heard him barking even once during that time), he was peeing everywhere (he did it once and that was probably because he was nervous of being in a new environment and that was it), he wasn't listening at all (we had 3 cats at that time and I said no one time when he tried to run at them and that was it, never did it again)."
"And we learned that he has been in the shelter twice with big wounds."
"And I said I'm not going to let him go through more, he stays with us."
"He learned how to let me know he needs to go out all by himself."
"He learned to pee on the pads all by himself on the days that I can't take him for a walk."
"He learned to give me my slippers when I come home all by himself because I wear slippers when I get home."
" He learned how to clean his face by watching cats doing it."
" I still don't know how to train a dog other than a few basic stuff."
"He just learns."
"That's been a really long comment."
"So I'm going to leave that how I know my cats are clever for another time."
"Thank you for reading my sweet dogs story."
"I'm glad to have him and I don't know who was lucky about all those; me or him."- LittleBitOff2Daydog pies GIFGiphy
Never underestimate your pets.
As sometimes you have no idea of the things they might see or notice.
Making it all the more important to give them the love and attention they deserve.
Aging is a reminder that the end is near.
But life is constantly finding ways to expedite the aging process.
So many variables contribute to our looks... it's almost shocking.
Redditor sabletoothtiger_ wanted to hear about the things that can cause us to age rapidly, so they asked:
"What instantly ages someone?"
My flipping and flopping with my weight has aged me.
It never gets easier to lose too.
Lack of SleepWide Awake Insomnia GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Lack of sleep."
"Can confirm. I have an aunt who looks older than my grandmother because she regularly gets 3 hours of sleep a night while my grandmother will fall asleep anywhere."
"Grief, nothing ages you like Grief."
"My brother died 2 years ago, I aged so much since and now look older than some friends of mine who are 15 years older than me. On top of not sleeping well due to autoimmune issues, I notice new grey hairs every day. Grief, lack of sleep, stress. I have the trio and it's just awful. Losing a sibling is a nightmare, especially at a young age. My deepest sympathies."
"Back pain. You can't move like a young person if your back hurts."
"I went from being active and spry to barely able to move and in constant pain. It changed so much about my personality as being active and sporty was a huge part of who I was. I also gained some weight."
"I’m way better now and not in constant pain, but there is always a risk of flare-ups now so while I can exercise and be active, it’s always in the back of my mind and I can’t do it with the carefree attitude I once did."
"I also believe it makes me susceptible to other aches and pains as the nerves all connect so sometimes a flare-up sends pains to other extremities such as my hips or shoulders. If there was one thing I could go back and change in my life, it would be to prevent the back injury."
"F**king cancer. Have watched my brother-in-law age 30 years in a month."
"I have been a witness to this many times. '30 years in a month' is an accurate measurement."
"This hits close to home. My (seemingly healthy) uncle was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two weeks ago. Within the last two weeks, his body has completely broken down. So sorry for everyone here who has had to see loved ones go through this."
"My mom had breast cancer (in her 50’s) like 7 years ago. All her hair turned gray and she looked frail and old for a couple of years through treatment. After the cancer was gone, her hair all grew back brown again and she looked like she did before. It was really weird."
From the TopAmerican Horror Story Fx GIF by AHSGiphy
"Hair loss. Not me personally but I used to work with a guy who I swore was like 35, and he was 19. Poor kid."
"When I have an interview, I let my baldness show a little bit. I look older, and I'm taken more seriously by recruiters that way."
Keep ItNft Child GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy
"Buccal fat removal."
"Surprised this wasn't higher up. People with baby cheeks don't realize how well they will serve them thirty years down the line when their buddies who teased them for it look like Skeletor."
"When I was younger and first entered the real world I remember working with a white-haired woman that had an always tired look about her. She had a picture of her daughter on her desk, young, blonde, that looked so incredibly much like her I mentioned it once. Turned out that wasn’t her daughter, but was her prior to her going through the FBI academy."
Work of the Devil
"Troubleshooting printer problems. I swear these devilish machines only exist to trigger me to smithereens."
"A couple years ago I decided to officially give up on having a personal printer and only use the one at the library because when it f**ks up, it's someone else's problem. I still have my old printer and I've considered dropping it off my roof for fun."
"Had the opportunity to throw one out of a third-story window. The absolute joy I felt watching that a**hole machine soar through the air and smash to smithereens was the best kind of natural high. It's been 15 years, and I still get goosebumps thinking about it."
Bad RelationsMy Big Fat Fabulous Life Kiss GIF by TLCGiphy
"Having a spouse that contributes nothing to your relationship and allows your family to slip further and further into debt without caring that you're all only a couple of bills away from bankruptcy."
Life is just an endless well of aging.
No cream is coming to save us.
There's an old saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes in order to understand them. It's an accurate sentiment as there are things in life one simply won't grasp unless experienced personally.
For example, I've been very open about my autism in my writing.
My fellow autistic adults often share how similar our experiences are and how well we can relate to each other.
However no matter how descriptive I am, it's difficult for someone neurotypical to fully understand what it’s like to have a brain that's wired differently.
But on the flip side, my autism means there are things I'll never understand.
Like what hunger feels like or how people usually feel pain or easily recognize faces or eat spicy foods or visualize things in their mind or don't get physically ill because of noises.
Reddit user Slow_Inflation8701 asked:
"What's something people don't understand until they've been through it themselves?"
"I pinched L3/4, L4/5, and L5/S1at the same time. It's unreal the pain, numbness and weakness that comes with it. Also really hard to explain to someone else."
"I herniated L5/S1 and didn't sleep for 6 days, barely slept for a month. I didn't understand nerve pain. You can't understand it until it happens to you."
"My experience was and is so minor compared to what could be. I had nerve damage that lasted for about a year before it began to heal—it’s mostly okay now, but I still don’t trust that limb."
"It looks fine, so you always feel like everyone thinks you’re faking. It’s inconsistent, so sometimes it feels fine, and then YOU start to wonder if you’re faking—then something little happens and it’s hot lightning bolts again."
"That something could be lifting a few pounds the wrong way."
"Or you could feel fine one day and lift something heavy without thinking and be fine. Or it might just be horrible pain for literally no goddamned reason."
"You look the same regardless."
"It’s maddening and f*cking horrible. Take care of your bodies, people."
"Losing a parent at a young age."
"You’re not sad because you miss them. You’re sad because you were robbed of ever knowing them."
"The last times (aside from now) that I cried about her was because a cousin sent me photos and another cousin posted a family video and she was in it."
"The photos triggered a dream where I actually touched her. I was 3 when she passed, so I have zero memories."
"I lost my mom at 16 and it’s been 33 years."
"I just started seeing a new therapist and when I was describing my childhood, I started crying talking about my mom."
"She was sick for a long time and I don’t really have strong memories of what our relationship was like."
"There’s just a mom shaped hole in my life."
"My wife Alyssa died in my arms on May 13th 2023, at 6:28 pm. She was 33. I heard her last breath, saw her eyes empty, felt her go limp."
"I didn't dream at all the first 4 months after. No nightmares, no dreams. I had to call her family and friends to let them know she had died that evening."
"From September of last year to May this year, she had lost 70 pounds. She looked like a skeleton, but not to my eyes. She was beautiful and I told her every single day."
"She started Agonal Breathing at 1 am on Saturday the 13th. I administered morphine and Ativan every hour so she wouldn't suffer too much.
"I played all of her favorite movies (50 First Dates, Deadpool, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) and read her our wedding vows. Her last words were 'I love you too'. She died 6 hours later."
"When the funeral home employees came to pick her up that night, they asked me if I wanted to spend some time with her before they took her, I couldn't speak. I just shook my head no."
"She wasn't there anymore, her mortal cage had opened its door, and she had flown away. Her eyes......I'll never forget her eyes after she had gone."
"Please, everyone. If something doesn't feel right, and the doctor says it's nothing, GET A SECOND OPINION. C student's get degrees, and Aly's primary care doctor absolutely murdered her through misdiagnosis."
"Chronic illness and disability."
"…'but you don’t look sick'…"
"Have you tried this diet? This essential oil? Losing weight? This drink concoction? Exercise?"
"Standing on your head with your hands on your hips like a down-pointing arrow? NO‽‽"
"You don't want to get healthy."
"You're doing it all for attention."
"You’re exaggerating. Etc... Etc... Etc..."
"My husband has epilepsy and his brother told him he just needs to drink more water—like dehydration is the reason for his brain misfiring."
"Chronic debilitating illness and disability. How quickly life can change permanently without you doing anything wrong."
"Most people don’t realize that having a body that doesn’t hurt and isn’t sick is a luxury they should appreciate as much as they can while they still can. Illness and disability can happen to anyone at any time."
"I'm paraphrasing, but I once read 'The healthy have hundreds of desires. The chronically ill have one'."
"Somehow that quote was what got me in gear to finally pay attention to my health."
"I want to add being too disabled to work."
"Living in deep poverty because what the government gives you to live on is barely half of what a person needs to survive."
"And when you’re not living in complete poverty people say it would be 'so nice to sit at home and just do nothing'. No it’s not, I sit at home because I can’t do anything."
"Remember covid lockdowns when everyone was getting stir crazy after a week? That’s your life now."
"They really think we can just go out or something—have fun outside."
"No, I’m just working on surviving while not going insane from my limitations thank you.
"I’d be overjoyed if I could reliably work, my life would be so much better and less isolated."
"It’s not a vacation it’s forever!"
No Safety Net
"Struggling without anyone or anything to fall back on."
"Knowing that if one thing goes wrong, I'm completely f*cked. That there is no safety net.
"Then watching prices climb and mentally running scenarios of what I'm gonna do in any given situation."
"All while acting like everything is ok so I don't pass 'adult' problems on to my son."
"Not having enough money due to unforeseen circumstances."
"Not every poor person is poor because of their own decisions."
"Finances are like traffic, you can do everything right on the road, and have your life completely flipped by some other a**hole driver."
"My Dad's family had money until his brother was diagnosed with a rare heart disease that needed surgery. They sold everything to pay for it."
"It hit them so hard my Dad didn't go to high school so he could work for food."
"I grew up dirt poor because my Dad didn't have an education and struggled with everything. I finally clawed my way out of poverty."
"One hit took three generations to correct."
"What it really means to go through cancer treatment."
"I'm 4 years NED but still have regular interventions which terrify me—monitoring CT last December showed random liver growth, so liver MRI in February which thankfully showed it was harmless but so scary."
"Then colonoscopy last week to check for polyp growths (had bowel cancer) as part of my surveillance. One harmless dude found and removed but still the whole process was exhausting and frightening."
"I'm so so grateful for my treatment (was a stage 4 recurrence and treatment seems to have been curative) but I wish I could erase all the memories I have of diagnosis, treatment (which included psychosis due to steroids used to treat radiotherapy side effects and emergency admissions for chemo toxicity), recurrence, fear."
"I think that's what's difficult for someone to get their head round when they've not experienced it themselves."
"I was literally in a minor crash, 20mph I was going when someone crashed into the side of me."
"I now hesitate driving by junctions where a car is waiting to exit, I freak out thinking they'll get me. It's honestly so f*king horrible."
"I was rear ended twice in 2 years. Both times, I was stopped with my left turn signal on waiting for oncoming traffic to pass."
"The first one was relatively minor—her car was totaled but we were both fine. Second time, the person who hit me was injured badly but I was okay."
"I didn’t even notice (?) I was hit—I felt the car vibrate, thought 'oh, someone just hit me' and pulled over—did not realize my car had been pushed up like, 25 feet."
"I don’t remember the actual impact at all. Also did not even realize it was considered a 'serious accident' until the police and the doctor at urgent care and the insurance agent who totaled my car kept all calling it that."
"I swear I have PTSD-like issues from those accidents now."
"I hate left turns and I dislike being in the passenger seat, and I just imagine getting hit in some catastrophic accident now when I drive. When I was driving shortly after the second accident, my Apple Watch kept dinging at me to 'breathe'."
"'Can't you just wake up and not be depressed?'."
“'Why are you depressed? You have nothing to be depressed about'."
"No, I do not have trauma. I had a perfectly healthy childhood. I have a healthy marriage. I love my job. We aren’t rich by any means, but we are financially stable. I have 2 wonderful children. I have a great relationship with my family. I have friends. I have hobbies."
"My brain just sucks."
"It has since I was in middle school. Like how a diabetic’s pancreas doesn’t produce insulin, my brain doesn’t produce sufficient levels of serotonin."
"No amount of therapy or lifestyle modification is going to fix that. I need drugs to function normally."
"This is truly the thing that people don’t understand. There are literally people in this [Reddit] thread trying to argue that it’s all just your mindset and you need to change the way you think and everything will get better. Just take control of your life."
"I think most people in this world experience depression at some point in their life. But it’s situational, it’s because of something that happened, a breakup, losing a loved one, job loss, bullying, etc..."
"Because they go through that they think they understand what it’s like to suffer through more severe mental illness. When you suffer from a true life long mental illness it is a disability, it’s like having a permanent injury to your knee that causes you to walk with a limp. You can’t just stretch and drink water and walk normal again."
"Sure diet and exercise and positive thinking can help, but it’s not a cure. It doesn’t matter how well things are going in your life—sometimes it’s just excruciating to be alive. Like it just hurts to be awake."
"It’s impossible to explain to someone how awful it feels."
"It sucks because no matter what you do you’ll always be broken. But there’s always going to be someone there to tell you that it’s your fault, that if you just did X you would feel better."
"Someone commented on another Reddit thread that they completely understand people who have a psychotic episode after they stopped taking their mental health medications because 'people don't want to become dependent on those drugs'."
"It's a perfect illustration of how people don't get what clinical mental illness is."
"Who applauds an insulin dependent diabetic who skips their insulin and ends up in a coma?"
"Or an epileptic who skips their medication and has a seizure?"
"My medication is viewed as a weakness and a choice I'm making to be dependent, but stopping it can kill me just as well as the diabetic or epileptic who skip their meds."
"Massive F*CK YOU to people who have this attitude about mental health medications."
"The medical gaslighting and downplay."
"I watched my girlfriend go through it trying to get her fibro diagnosis and I will never forgive certain doctors—both male and female—who ignored obvious symptoms just because of her gender."
"YES. This was my experience, also. All because I am a woman."
"Took me well over 10 years for a correct diagnosis for ONE of my ailments, by which time my affected internal organs were literally nothing more than scar tissue, and I was bleeding internally."
"Had to have emergency surgery."
"Doctors had previously insisted that there was nothing wrong with me, and I was just being hysterical or over dramatic."
"They all told me the pain was nothing to worry about."
"Discrimination. Of any type."
"Disability, religion, sexism, racism, fatphobia, homophobia, anything."
"When you experience it the rage and the fact that it is systematic crushes your soul in a way no one can explain to you."
"There are lots of facets to this that I think aren't spoken about enough. When loneliness or isolation is mentioned, particularly on TV/posters it often focuses on the immediate obvious aspect of it (such as sitting alone in a quiet room)."
"That part is unpleasant but I think it's far from being the worst part of it. I've spent a long time with 0 support system & there are so many tiny things going on buzzing about like a thousand cuts."
"Have a question about something? No one to ask. Have a funny/philosophical/stupid thought? No one to share it with."
"Need someone to hold up a shelf while you nail it in? No one there. Need someone to witness you signing a will or other important document? Good luck."
"Read a book & want to discuss it with someone? Nah. Need a character witness for something? Proverbial lol."
"Break your leg & need a lift home from hospital? Yeah right. In an abusive relationship getting gaslit by your partner? No one is there to tell you that's what's happening."
"Want advice on your first tattoo? How about a blank wall. Want to watch a film with someone? No. The joy of shared experience is not something you can access."
"Want to play that board game you saw? Better get a single-player. Want to swap funny stories with people? Better just keep them to yourself."
"Get sick & can't get to the post office to send important documents? No one will believe you when you say you've no one to do it for you."
"Regarding the last one I know that people don't understand what isolation is like because I've tried in very plain language to say 'I do not have anyone who can do this for me' & they always act as if I'm just not looking hard enough & if I just looked again I'd find 3 people hidden under the carpet."
"Having 0 outside perspectives is actually quite serious too. Maybe living in a bubble with no one to challenge anything sounds good on paper but in reality it's horrible. Perspective & relativity keeps us grounded, keeps us in check, keeps us healthy."
"For example if you experience something but have no one to talk to about it, it can be hard to know if you're under-reacting or overreacting which can have all sorts of different ramifications on a spectrum where one end is being taken advantage of & the other end is radicalisation."
"Being isolated warps everything. Enough of it can affect you in the same way physical pain does. Your tolerance for dealing with tough situations will diminish because the only energy you have is yours."
"Having a support system is like an exchange of energy & we have a lot more energy when we have people to trade it with. We can do more things, see different avenues we'd not have noticed, deal with more obstacles & people don't even notice how much this silent exchange is carrying them through life until they don't have it anymore."
"It's not simply sitting alone in a room feeling sad, it's thousands & thousands of tiny things that wear you down over time."
"There is a reason 'exile/shunning' is akin to capital punishment in some cultures."
"Pretty much anything."
"If you have a modicum of empathy, you can imagine, probably inaccurately, but I don't think you can truly grasp what it's like to experience anything until you have."
Some experiences really can'tbe adequately explained to others.
But with empathy and compassion full understanding isn't necessary.
We've all been held to some unexpected beauty standard at some point, like how to properly and less comfortably wear that shirt, or how we should cut our hair, or that our teeth should be whiter.
In addition to being inundated with these messages that we are not good enough or beautiful enough naturally, we're also confronted by advertisement after advertisement of the latest tool, makeup, primer, machine, or supplement that will make us that much more attractive.
And some of the beauty hacks that are suggested to us are, quite frankly, really weird.
Wondering what others had heard of, Redditor Quintowne asked:
"What is a beauty standard you can't believe people actually like?"
One Word: Photoshop
"Clearly photoshopped pictures and weird posing angles."
"Overly perfect veneers."
"One of my Facebook friends already has good teeth but then she went and got veneers. Now her teeth are just...too big and too BRIGHT."
The Nose You've Seen Somewhere Before
"Every nose looking exactly the same."
"Thank you from all the non-standard nose people."
"And ski slope or button nose. They are cute but not everyone’s face is meant to have that type of nose and it doesn’t look good on everyone. It sucks seeing so many young girls on TikTok get nose jobs and all have the exact same nose."
The Over-Inflation... Of Lips
"What people do to their lips is wild to me."
"I came here to say the over-inflated lips with the ostrich lashes combo. It’s so much."
"Buccal fat removal."
"Yes! The buccal fat is there for a reason. It instantly ages them. They look gaunt."
"Yes. There's a difference between a chiseled face and a gaunt face."
"Peak Angelina Jolie, Taylor Hill, Monica Bellucci, etc. have chiseled faces."
"Anya Taylor-Joy, Bella Hadid, and others who underwent unnecessary buccal fat removal surgeries just look gaunt."
"Stupid eyebrows that look like perfectly angled stencils are a shade way too dark for their complexion. Like blonde girls with two black geometric boomerangs on her forehead."
Dislike Big Butts
"Butt implants. Just looks nasty as h**l."
"I just saw one in the wild without all the filters that normally accompany it. It was so weird. Like a flesh diaper that should have been changed hours ago."
Too Dramatic Eyelashes
"Giant eyelashes that will make you take flight if you flutter them fast enough."
"My husband hates the long fake eyelash look, and he asked me why women wear them when men don't particularly like them."
"I thought it would be funny, so I told him it's not about impressing men but about asserting one's dominance on another woman."
"He believed me and now tells all his friends that it's an 'alpha-female' thing, hahaha."
A Little Too Perfect
"The overly sculpted beard trend. You know when the beard is trimmed and looks like it was outlined in concealer? Neatening up is nice but a sudden pale line as a border around your stubble... looks like it was airbrushed on and not touched up."
"Thank you for putting into words what I could never put my finger on. It's that weird barbershop ad look. Too weirdly 'perfect' looking to be attractive."
Dozens of Miss Piggys
"I’m from Stockholm. A lot of girls, particularly from rich areas, like to use so much fake tan that they are orange, and bleach their hair from what was usually dark blonde to platinum blonde."
"Then they style it to make it voluminous (which is easy to do because their hair is dead from all the dyeing) and apply lots of make-up, which typically includes black mascara or fake lashes."
"So, a lot of girls here bear a striking resemblance to Miss Piggy. There’s nothing wrong with looking like this, I just don’t understand it."
"No One's Neck's as Incredibly Thick as Gaston!"
"Those grossly buff guys on all dating shows. They all look like Gaston from 'Beauty and the Beast,' and I hate it so much. I don’t even watch those shows, but the lack of variety is appalling."
"Grinding canine teeth flat. A dentist once took me aside and told me that he could grind mine down, flat, and make it a really good smile."
"I said, 'No, thanks,' but was thinking, 'Why in the f**k would I do that?!'"
"Laminated, combed-up, thick a** eyebrows. Why."
"Yes! This is the one I was going to say. It is such a strange beauty trend to me that I've noticed in the past couple of years. Granted, I do come from a time when eyebrows were plucked into a high arch."
"I think people should just leave their eyebrows be for the most part. I can understand plucking, waxing, or trimming very bushy eyebrows or a uni-brow, but combing the hairs straight up and plastering them to your forehead just doesn't look good."
Follow the Leader
"The fact that a huge portion of the world's population has successfully brainwashed itself into thinking that the Kardashians/Jenners are the epitome of beauty to the point that many are willing to imitate whatever moronic thing they do to their bodies is just wild to me."
Standing Out from the Crowd
"Any plastic surgery that makes random women look like they're all related. At one point, we'll all start to think thin lips and big noses are hot solely because they'll stand out in a sea of copy/paste people."
"It’s called the 'Instagram face' and it’s a legit phenomenon that is being studied by psychologists. It’s doing so much harm to people’s self-esteem and self-concept. We aren’t all supposed to look the same."
These certainly were some surprising trends, and some of them seem to refuse to go away, as much as many people dislike them.
But beauty standards have a way of coming and going, so by the end of next year, who knows what will be considered beautiful and trending then?