You know that person who gives you the WORST vibes, but you can't figure out why?
Reddit user DeadVince has and was aching to know if other Reddit users have ever been right about their uneasy feelings:
Have you ever (correctly) had a gut-feeling to dislike someone who, on the surface, was a cool person that everybody else liked? What's that story?
Here are the answers he got back.
City council hired another medic. Older dude with long hair, not that that matters. He was new to the scene recently completing the course.
Guy why awesome to hang out with. Went to the bar with the younger emts, played video games, etc.
At first I thought he was cool but as I observed his work (I was his superior and did his probationary eval) I noticed something was off.
At the private council meeting I spoke openly about this in his 30 day review. I stated something was off. He didn't seem like a people person and generally the type that would do this job.
They said that I had no grounds to state that he wasn't suited and that he did his job as described.
I countered with the fact that when caring for people being a people person is an unwritten rule and that doing your job without caring leads to mistakes, and in our job field a mistake means death.
They weren't having it so I finally said "look in this job field you need to learn to read people and in telling you that something isn't right here"
City council told me that basically I was jealous because he got along with the emts. Honestly I could careless, I'm not in this job for them.
Fast forward a month and I get a call from an er about an hour from us. They said that their report said the patient was administered 80mg of drug x. The patient denied receiving it and since they couldn't figure out wtf the medic would have even given it they ran a tox panel on him which showed that he did not receive it.
The doc told me normally he'd let it slide as an error and ask me to speak to him about accuracy, but he felt something was off.
I thanked him and after hanging up pulled the trip sheets. Right in the run report it has the drug, the amount given, and the time.
I pulled up the narcotics log. It showed drug given and replenished along with the tag numbers.
Next I called a friend of mine who is a local cop and was off duty at the time. He came over and I opened the other medics narc box. Sure enough it had been opened and replaced.
We then went through his logs for the past 2 months he had been working and located at least 12 times drugs had been given when probably not needed.
I called the er doc back and explained to him and his exact quote "here's my personal phone number and our lawyers number. I'll fax you over a written statement along with the test results. I'll see if we have anything on other patients he brought in"
My buddy then called dispatch to tell the council members there was an emergency at the station and they need to come in.
When they got there we showed them all the evidence and what we suspected. Within 15 minutes we not only had the da approval but also a judge sign an arrest warrant.
Turns out the dude admitted to having a 20 year pain killer addiction that he ran out of sources so he figured being a medic would give him easy access. He even told the judge he was worried that he would have killed someone just for the meds.
At the trial I was asked for what resolution I wanted. I told the judge being a paramedic I've seen how drugs change a person and that I don't hold him fully responsible. On my recommendation he got 3 months in a locked drug rehab facility followed by 6 months of house arrest.
4 years later the dude is clean and runs a fund raiser to help raise money for the end to provide anonymous narcan services and drug awareness programs.
Today this guy would be an honored member of my crew. Addiction literally changes people.
The end result is I now am solely responsible for hiring the medics, reviewing, and dismissal. I no longer need to justify to council why someone was dismissed. This job is one where a gut feeling decides someone's fate. Mywifefoundmymain
Not Always Right
Sometimes our gut instincts are only sort of right.
When I was in seventh grade, there was this girl who was really quiet and sort of creepy. And she smelled. (like sh*t--literally.) She wore these odd dresses that looked like pioneer dresses (homemade). And she was just, well, creepy. No one talked to her. People tried to avoid sitting next to her. We all gossiped about her as being the epitome of creepiness.
Then one day she was gone. Didn't come to class.
The next day, it was all over the news: the police had arrested these horrifically abusive parents, who were neglecting and abusing their daughter, and who had kept their younger son locked in a cage his entire life. And never fed him. The younger boy was kept alive by--you guessed it-- his older sister. The police were led to the house by neighbors' complaints about the stench.
So this poor, smelly girl was suffering abuse from her parents, and all the while sneaking food and water to her little brother--who was literally locked in a cage for years upon years... keeping him alive-- and then coming to school, where she would be avoided and mocked behind her back and sometimes humiliated.
She was a weirdo, and our "guts" all told us there was something wrong there.
But she was a f***ing hero.
(never heard what happened to her after the parents were arrested. hope she recovered.) DerProfessor
I never trusted my ex bf's uncle. I just knew he was trouble and had issues with him visiting or my ex visiting him.
He was arrested in Florida last year for production and selling meth and hosting a prostitution ring out of his home. Later learned the ex partook in all the activities at his uncle's home. Apparently my gut was right about the uncle, but not about my ex. polaroid2271
My snake did.
I had the sweetest, chillest ball python who never nipped or hissed or reared up or anything. She'd just curl up with you and hang out. One day a friend brought over some of his friends and all of a sudden my snake went nuts - standing straight up in her tank and hissing at one of the guys. A couple of weeks later, that dude robbed my house while I was out of town.
RIP Guinevere. A good snake. addlepated
Rule One: Don't Steal
Interviewing a guy for a job. Something doesn't feel right but my interviewing partner really seemed to like him. We get to his portfolio of work and I see my side project that I worked on alone as one of his websites. So I start asking him questions about it. What challenges he had, how the client was, etc.
I let him go on and on then I say, "I have to level with you. This is my work. You are showing me my own work. Look at the source near the footer. It has my website in the comments.
He went ghost white and I just sat there.
After that I coached him a little on how not to suck and he left. We called the contract agency that sent him and let them know. _____FRESH_____
Sometimes You Just Know
My older mother got this "boyfriend." Mom was in her 60s and the boyfriend was probably mid-sixties also. One day she brought him over to my house, where I was a single mom to a 3 year old boy. I'm usually friendly, or at the least polite, but I looked at that guy and said "no, don't come in my house." My mom was SHOCKED.
She said "[name], this is Blah Blah, my boyfriend!" I told her I was sorry. [deleted]
Fool Me Once
My sister's first husband. I was 5 when they got married, and I only actually met him a few times in person because they lived on the other side of the country. My family really loved him--he was charming, athletic, smart, handsome, financially secure, and seemed like a great dad when they had kids. Plus, he was never anything but nice to me. But I always sensed something shady about the guy. When I was in the 5th grade, I remember getting in huge trouble for a class assignment--an essay describing our families--in which I described him as a bad person--pretty much word for word, "there's something I just don't like about him." It was one of the only times I got spanked as a child.
Well, fast forward a couple years, and my parents discovered that he'd been abusive to my sister and the kids almost the whole time. They ended up divorcing, and he has proven to be a complete sociopath ever since. He hadn't paid a dime in child support, despite being well off enough to buy a new luxury sports car every few years, and uses their two kids (who are now teenagers who know he's full of sh*t) to play mind games with my sister--bringing her to court for full custody, knowing he won't win due to his past, just to cause her inconvenience and rack up legal fees for her, just as an example. He also has refused to let the kids fly out to visit our side of the family a few times for no reason whatsoever. He's an ***hole, a narcissist, a complete f***ing sociopath and somehow 10-year old me was able to sense it before anyone else in my family. kittyface93
No Country For Dog Thieves
My mom brought her new boyfriend over the house one time for me to meet him. He weirded me out. I can't tell you why but I didn't like him. Maybe it's because he was a 35 year old man who wore visors. Friendly and funny guy who my family liked. A year into their relationship he beat the hell out of my mom and stole her dog. Probably the closest I've come to an assassination attempt. RanxShaw
When I played highschool football we had an equipment manager who had been doing the job for decades and was absolutely adored by the community. Guy was in his 70s-80s.
One day, I'm ready for a game early, so I head out to the bus that's taking us. I see him loading stuff up, so I offer to help him load a few things.
Once we're all loaded on the bus, he walks to me in the back (cuz I was a cool kid) and hands me a Hostess cupcake in front of everyone as a thank you.
He handed me the cupcake, looked me in the eye, and this sense of dread just falls on me. I have no idea why, and everyone's looking at me so I act normal.
I eat the cupcake (because I was, and still am a fat ass and will eat any cupcake you hand me) and just kinda write off the feeling.
That summer he was arrested for sexually assaulting some 15 year old girl. I'm pretty sure they thought he did more, but couldn't prove it or something. ThatGuyWhoEngineers
Awful Day In The Neighborhood
While in the Army we moved into a new house in upstate New York. We were being neighborly and talked to a guy across the street. He had 5 kids. No wife. He also had multiple neighborhood kids playing in the yard. He told us We can always send ours over. He gave us both this horrible feeling so we smiled and gtfo. About a year later my wife told me (i was in Kandahar) that his kids were taken from him. He had been molesting them at least ever since his wife died. i-need-burittos
To Catch A Predator
About 15 years ago I worked in a small office, mostly men, all who I really liked. A new guy started one day, and instantly I had a bad feeling about him. I don't even know exactly why I felt that way, and all the other people seemed fine with him, so I did my best to be polite, and find things to talk to him about. I was in my mid-30's, he was about the same or a little older, and we both had young sons, so I was able to find some common ground. Apparently he and his wife didn't live together, she might have been back in his home country. But I could never shake that bad feeling.
A year or so later, I had left the company to have my second son, and a friend who had taken my place there called me one morning, and said "Did you read the paper today??" That man had been arrested in another state, apparently having been set up by an FBI sting online, where he had been chatting with who he thought was a 13-year-old girl, and was meeting up with "her." In the trunk of his car, they found a video camera and rope. Daisy_W
Yes, but I suppressed it so quickly and fast, because I felt like it was horribly ungracious since she was being so friendly. Over the next couple years, she became my closest friend in the new town I had moved to. Then the following couple years it vacillated between being close, but just feeling like she really didn't want me around or was messing with me a little bit. Turns out she was having an affair with my husband and was literally intentionally driving me crazy. AllysWorld
Dial M for Misguided
It was a coworker of mine, call her "M". M was friendly, and everyone liked her. Something was up with her though, and I had a bad vibe. She was always complaining about money issues, but then would go out for meals or come into work with new clothes that were not indicative of someone with severe money problems. She allegedly complained of such severe financial problems that she was telling people she was having trouble putting food on the table for her kids. It was that level of desperation. Everyone really liked her, I didn't. I had a really odd feeling about her, like she was being constantly deceptive.
People would always help her out, either by giving her gift-cards to Target, extra clothes or canned food.
She also complained of car issues for a period of several months. This wonderfully kind lady at work - "C" - let M borrow her car during the workday. This was so that M could use whatever money she said she had to go to the store and buy food for her family. Additionally, she used C's car to take a nap from time to time. She claimed to work another evening job and she was often very tired.
Every year, our company sponsored a local family that needed a lot of help. We were a small business at the time (<50 employees) and we'd all donate something to the family at Christmas. It was usually toys, clothes, gift cards and so forth. This year, we decided as a group to my silent opposition that M would be our "family" this particular year. We amassed close to $1,100 worth of food, toys and clothes and presented it to M before Christmas that year. She cried, and said thank you.
Three months later, C's car was stolen right out of the employee parking lot. Coincidentally, M didn't report back to work that day after lunch. Long story short, M had made a copy of C's car key at some point and stole the car and drove out of state with the intent to flee and not return. We had come to learn that M had a long history of criminal charges, and M was eventually arrested in a traffic stop after C reported the car stolen.
As it turned out, M was a financial criminal, specializing in identity theft. She had swindled many people, and had a long criminal history including multiple felonies.
Right from the beginning, I knew something was up with her that I didn't like, but I couldn't put a real finger on it. I don't know why I saw it and no one else did. I actually began to question my morals, asking myself "Why do I dislike M when everyone else does not?" I wrestled with it personally for some time, but in a weird way felt vindicated when the truth revealed itself. TheySayImZack
Ski Slope Blues
The girlfriend and I used to work at the same ski hill, and the place was pretty much full of seasonal employees. Revolving door status. Anyways she got this new dude in her department that everyone thought was a super nice guy. I did not trust him. There was just something about the way he talked to female employees that just seemed...weird. he was trying to gain their trust way too quick. I made my sentiments known to my girlfriend and other friends and they thought I was just being jealous or something. I worked part time out of town at the time, and he'd aways ask me what days I was gone, it was weird. He also didnt have a car, so sometimes my girlfriend would give him a ride home and he'd ask her to hang out at our place when i was out of town. She declined. So at the end of the season, a female friend of ours and this kid decide to rent a place together (they weren't dating) and as they're in the final steps, Federal Marshalls show up and arrest him. Turns out he had been on the run for over a year for kidnapping and raping a girl in a different part of the country. His family had been helping him, and he took the name of his brother while on the run. Filling out the housing application somehow tipped off the marshalls. Trust your instincts. hyphen8892
My mom was a single mom and did the best she could. However, she thought it might be better to leave me with the neighbor than at home alone. From the age of 6, I pleaded with my mom to let me stay home alone until she got home from work, that I would be ok. My intuition was right. The neighbor was convicted of multiple murders of single mom one and two towns over when DNA evidence came into being. He only liked to date and kill nonobese women. Fortunately my mother was fat. seagullhunter
Foster Foul Play
Some girl started talking to me on the bus ride home. I thought there was something off about her but my parents, who are inherently optimists, told me to be nice and hang out with her. They even invited her over for dinner a few times. She lived about a 4 minute walk away from me so it was hard to come up with excuses not to hangout.
We eventually hung out a few times and I found out that she was a foster kid and had gotten bounced around a lot. She was also on a lot of medication for bad joints, bipolar disease and a few other things (she was almost 18). Well anyway turns out she was having an affair with the father and they plotted together to kill the mom so that they could be together. They made sure to plan it during a time when the dad was out of town. The girl ends up stabbing her foster mother to death and the families biological daughter is the one to call 911. They put the 911 tape up online and it was the worst thing I've ever listened to. rndomusername
My former handball coach: Everybody liked him, but I had a weird feel about him; After training he would come into our showers and give out shower caps for us to use, or in the winter, he would bring us snow to play. A few years later, he got arrested for sexual assault, when he went to a training camp with younger girls. Apparently he got into their tents and "played" with them.aphelii0n
Listen To Your Friends
My best friend in high school was a girl who didn't have the best taste in guys. She started dating a new guy, who was 20 when we were 16. The dude was a classic douche. He went by a mononym, didn't have his license, and just sponged off of everyone around him. I immediately had a bad feeling about him, and voiced my opinion to her. Well she got very angry, and said a lot of very shitty things about how I was just jealous, and pretty much burned a ten year friendship down in one fell swoop.
About a week after that happened, she found out she was pregnant, and he didn't take it well. He beat her, and threw her down a flight of stairs, and then left her at the bottom to die. However I decided I didn't want the friendship to end over something stupid so I went to try and find her to talk. After a while found her at his house in a crumpled heap. I drove her a few towns over to the nearest hospital, and sat in the waiting room all night with her family. She lived, but was so badly beaten that I couldn't even recognize her at first.
The boyfriend was found 3 days later at a relative's house. I think he gets out of prison soon though. TruthinessVonDee
Bad News Reel
A few years ago, when I was still in college, I took a summer job at a movie theater. I met a lot of really cool people there, including my SO. But there was this one guy who always gave me the creeps. We'll call him Drew. He was friends with almost everyone, including my SO, and had been for years. We'd attend the same parties and he'd do all these little things that would feel like red flags to be, but apparently not to anyone else.
Fast forward about a year. I no longer work there, my SO and I have been together for maybe a year, and he has been promoted to manager. Drew has also been promoted to supervisor. It should be noted that there were a lot of teenagers employed at this theater. One day, two of the younger girls come into the office (if they were 18, they were only just) to talk to my SO. They tell him they're sorry, because they know my SO is friends with Drew, but they have to tell him something. The younger one tells him that a few weeks prior, she was sitting alone in the break room, eating her lunch. Drew walks in and says to her "Do you touch yourself?" She doesn't answer. He says "Because if not, you should." I think he said more, but my SO eas so furious when he told me that story that he was having trouble telling it.
My SO fills out the report for the poor girl and passes it onto the GM, who then informs him that Drew had five counts of sexual harrassment on his file already. But corporate loved him. So they could never fire him.
My SO never spoke to Drew again. Last I heard, he was fired removed from his job at a brewery by security for sexual harrassment. Many of our other friends are still very close with him. I don't understand it, but I'm just thrilled to have that creep out of my life. KitchenSwillForPigs
Some years ago, I had to advise a college friend to stop chasing the girl he was interested in at the time. She'd already turned him down. Explicitly. At least two or three times.
He wouldn't take no for an answer and didn't see anything wrong with his behavior.
Perhaps he'd seen too many movies where the guy eventually breaks through the girl's defenses and essentially coerces her into going out with him?
Sadly, this is behavior that is tolerated and yes, normalized in our society.
People were keen to share other observations after Redditor EnoughSandwich_7057 asked the online community,
"What's toxic behavior that's considered socially acceptable?"
"Trying to make people..."
"Trying to make people drink/smoke or drink/smoke more when they have firmly declined the offer."
This is a big one that can have disastrous consequences. I am thankful I got a bunch of terrible nights out drinking out of my system by my early twenties.
Being drunk to the point that you're incoherent is horrible.
"I hate the whole prank thing..."
"I hate the whole prank thing, especially when it's done for likes. Scaring or humiliating people for attention just means you are a bad person."
I don't watch any of those videos and I don't understand what people see in them.
"Overworking yourself and then collectively judging others who don't do the same."
I had a coworker like that once, and she was a (minor) reason why I ended up leaving one job, but still a reason nonetheless.
"Taking your work with you..."
"Taking your work with you on vacation. I mean if you enjoy working then that's your thing, but I get sick of people like going through paperwork and having meetings while on vacation. Like dude, stop."
"Looking down on someone..."
"Looking down on someone because of their job."
When people say things like, "If fast food workers deserve $15 an hour..." that says a lot.
"Deliberately misunderstanding what someone is saying so as to make it easier to argue with them."
"People tend to give drunk people..."
"People tend to give drunk people misbehaving a pass if they regularly do it, 'Oh don't mind Tom, he's just drunk.' That just reinforces that toxic behavior."
You can say that again. How many times have you run into bad behavior like this while out and about, perhaps in a bar? It's not fun.
"The fact that we reward..."
"The fact that we reward customers for being wrong. The number of times my old manager would be so exhausted from arguing over the cost of a carton of milk with a customer that she would just give it to them is appalling."
"It reinforces this mentality because even if the customer KNOWS they're wrong they don't care because they will still win."
Annnnd this is why I don't miss retail. I'm fine where I am.
"Verbally abusing minimum wage employees who don't make the rules. If I could change the laws tomorrow I'd encourage businesses to ban pieces of garbage like these who can't operate in public."
"I'm here to do a job..."
"Toxic workplace behavior needs to be top of the list. I'm here to do a job and go home, not be harassed because you don't like some aspect of my personality. Managers who let this slide should be held personally liable."
When you stop and think about it, you realize we live in an imperfect society. It's astounding that some people just tolerate bad behavior and, in many cases, don't even see anything wrong with it.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Parents make mistakes. We want to believe that parents are doing there very best to raise their kids, but sometimes they do more harm than good.
Research into childhood trauma didn't actually begin until the 1970s, so we don't have as much knowledge about our mental health as adults as we might like.
However, a study that followed 1,420 from 1992 to 2015 found conclusive results about childhood trauma:
"'It is a myth to believe that childhood trauma is a rare experience that only affects few,' the researchers say."
"Rather, their population sample suggests, 'it is a normative experience—it affects the majority of children at some point.'"
"A surprising 60 percent of those in the study were exposed to at least one trauma by age 16. Over 30 percent were exposed to multiple traumatic events."
Not all of the things our parents do that were not so helpful technically classify as trauma, but it definitely has an effect on us as we get older.
Redditor Gooncookies asked:
"What could your parents have done better when raising you?"
Here's some of the ways that these Redditor's parents could have done better.
Rules to maintain purity.
"Would've been nice if my dad hadn't convinced me I had to behave in certain ways to maintain my innocence and purity."
"Catholic? I can relate."
"Nope. He's an atheist. He's actually extremely upset that I practice my (non Christian) religion. He just has some really weird ideas about having female children. Like, if I wore spaghetti straps when I was a child he'd say it was like he was living in a brothel."
Becoming afraid of failure.
"Encourage me to do more. I was never pushed to do anything. I mean, I get why some athletes are like 'my parents pushed me too hard where I hated it.' But I was never encouraged to go out for it try anything new. I played little league baseball and decided I thought it was a good idea to try and be a pitcher. I told my mom, but got the response along the lines of 'That's a hard position, and the whole game kind of rides on you, and if you mess up, everyone is going to blame you.' As a 37 year old I now see how that kind of stuff screwed my self esteem up and why I'm so afraid of failure as an adult."
"Same here. Also when I wanted to try anything new my mom was like 'But that's too hard for you, are you really sure you wanna do this? I don't think that you want nor can.' What's even worse than just forbidding, in this way the kid won't 'protest doing it' and get too low self esteem to do it."
"I'm really happy now that I overcame this after I moved out. I started doing all those things I wanted to do as a kid and I freaking love it (but kinda hate the fact that I haven't started earlier)."
"But even if I have a good relationship to my mom I hide a lot of things I do from her, since she still does the same and tries to convince me that I actually don't wanna do what ever I planned."
"But dear mom, sometimes you just need to try new things. if it wont work out who cares!? Even got a tattoo with 'What if I fall? Honey what if you fly?' to remind me if I should ever forget. (And no, my mum doesn't know about it)."
We're allowed to feel our emotions.
"Allow me to express my emotions, treat me like an actually person, actually interact with me instead of just ignoring me and them just telling me to kill myself."
"Wow. I'm so sorry. I think a lot of parents forget that their children are actually human beings."
"Its okay. I'm trying to work through some of that trauma, its easier said than done."
Interest is nice.
"They could have shown more of an interest in my mental health and education."
"I didn't get help for my anxiety until after college and it's so frustrating to hear my parents acknowledge I was an anxious child yet nothing was done. I can look back and see how many things could have gone better for me."
"I had diagnosed ADHD and my mom thought that the meds made my brother and I zombies and decided she wanted us to just be kids. My parents never looked into any kind of non-medication help for my ADHD."
"I'll always wonder what school would've been like if I had the tools to properly manage it."
"I got an MFA, but I feel my entire life has been a whole lot of masking."
I also have comorbid sleep/circadian rhythm disorder which they also never did anything about. Going to the doctor for anything, physical or mental, was not prioritized. But, my parents definitely weren't well off financially, so I imagine that that was the biggest contributor."
Kids deserve autonomy.
"Taught me to question adults and trust myself."
"They thought they were doing the best thing by teaching my sister and I 'All adults are always right and you obey them no matter what,' but it made me a dysfunctional employee and vulnerable to abusive relationships."
"The good news is it can be unlearned. But I hope this new generation will teach our kids to assert themselves respectfully instead of blind obedience."
Why keep up the charade?
"My parents are great people who did a good job raising me, but there was one weird thing they did that still kind of annoys to this day (and I'm 44.)"
"Once I got old enough to figure out that things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren't real they still wouldn't admit it for some reason; I think it was more my mom and my dad just went along with her. But even when I became a teenager and all my siblings were teenagers it's like they still thought it was funny and cute to keep pretending that Santa Claus was real. I don't know why."
"They missed the point of that sort of thing. It's a rite of passage for children to eventually get old enough to figure out that this sort of thing isn't real and for the parents to let them in on it. I was denied that and it still bugs me for some reason."
"I could imagine that being infuriating at 14-15 years old. At that age you're wanting to be seen as more of an adult and I can imagine them not acknowledging Santa as a way of not welcoming me into adulthood/making me feel like a little kid."
Yea that's weird. When I got older and looked back I realized that my folks never flat out said Santa was real. My mom would say something like, 'He's only real if you believe in him,' so she never technically lied to me. Maybe it stems from that, they don't want to admit they lied to you?"
"That could be, but I think it was more a matter of my parents (again, my mom especially) thinking that doing the whole Santa Claus thing on Christmas morning, and Easter Bunny thing on Easter was fun and something that she just didn't want to let go of when my sisters and I got older."
Healthy criticism is necessary sometimes.
"They lacked discipline and parental authority which led us to treat them like our friends, disrespect them. We also couldn't be academically successful because they didn't help us develop a healthy studying habit."
"Kids like it when a parent tells them what to do (I mean, parenting is about teaching a kid what to do, if you just leave it like that, it won't learn anything), help them when they can't get through it, never give negative criticism, but constructive criticism when they fail and appreciate them when they succeed."
"Negative criticism: this type only tells them what is wrong. e.g. 'you can't do this,' 'you are doing this badly.'"
"Constructive criticism: this type gives them an insight into what should they do, you can add what is lacking if necessary. e.g. '[...] is not good behaviour, please do [...] next time, then you would succeed,' 'it looks ok (if it is badly done, then don't say this), but if you do [...] it'd be better / [...] is the correct way.'"
Whatever the situation was with your parents or caretakers, there are ways to heal from this trauma.
Psychology Today says we need to process our emotions, especially if we were taught not to when we were children.
It's important that we break these generational curses.
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Breaking up is something that never gets easier.
That kind of thinking, however, does little to keep us from feeling dejected for days on end.
Curious to hear from heartbroken strangers on the internet, Redditor whitecheeks-24 asked:
What's your sad love story?
Death never comes at the right time.
A Difficult Decision
"The love of my life and soulmate who I was married to for 20 years and together for 24 passed away about 8 months ago. I feel alone and empty inside. I have nobody to love or to love me. My life is an empty waste of space now."
"I took her off of life support because I know that's what she wanted and I had to respect her wishes but I sometimes wish I was a little more greedy. I just want my doll face back."
"I am so sorry. I had to do the same thing with my love, married 40 years. It's been 28 months and I'm sinking deeper into despair. We had so many plans, did everything together, and I am honestly lost without him. I send you warmest regards."
The Shy Admirer
"I was a shy teenager, in love with a cute neighbor. His sister and my mom were friends. He died in a car accident. Nobody knew how I felt about him. I overheard his sister tell my mom that he was in love with me. We never got to share our feelings with each other."
"I think a guy I found on match.com died but I have no way of knowing. We had only been dating for 2 or 3 months and we were taking things slow. Then he got sick..tumors in his back and he needed surgery. We still hung out but he was in a lot of pain."
"At the time I was frustrated because I felt he was pushing me away. I just adored him and he was sending mixed messages. Now looking back.. I'm thinking he was just trying to survive. He went in for surgery and I never heard from him again. I didn't know his family and he didn't have social media."
"My mom would check the obituaries in the paper for me and I just always wondered. I hope he didn't know how to end things and just felt this was easier. It's been 5 years and I have a family of my own now but Michael..I hope you're okay."
It's hard for these Redditors to accept the fact their love was never meant to be.
Long Distance Fizzle
"I had to leave my first boyfriend behind because I moved out of state and didn't even get to say goodbye because I didn't know we were moving when I left. We left to see my aunt who had been traveling and was diagnosis with brain cancer in another state, she was too sick to travel home so they rented a house and stayed there essentially until she passed away."
"My mom liked the area better than my hometown tho so we ended up staying, our stuff was shipped to us so I never got to say goodbye to my boyfriend in person."
"We kept in contact for a couple years but being 16 and 18, it wasn't easy for me to just pack up and head back to move in somewhere with him. We both knew we weren't ready for that so we tried our best to keep the long distance romance going."
"Eventually he messaged me one day and told me that he can't do it anymore and he didn't want to hear from me again because he couldn't handle it."
"When I was in my early 20s, I've had a love at first sight experience. It completely broke me. He actually was into me too, but not in love like I was."
"I had never had a boyfriend before and I got so excited, I came in like a wrecking ball to cite a great poet. Long story short, I scared him off, he broke up, I couldn't get him out of my head and couldn't imagine a world without him, so I tried to kill myself."
"Though let me reassure you all, it's been years and I'm over him (as long as I don't see him IRL, I just know that I'd fall back in the spiral), I even had a long-term relationship after him."
Tough Reality Check
"I got left out of a 5 year relationship. I got injured, lost my job, and had to go take care of my dying mom. I was not in a good way. I come back from the ER and she calls our entire relationship off because I was not 'passionate' any longer. Right."
"My entire life fell apart. Lost the house we had gone in on. Lost the dog we had gotten together. And I lost my girl. She was my bestfriend, my first love."
"Huge reality check but at least I'm only 22. I'm glad I saw her true colors when things went bad. Easy to stand by someone when times are good. Saddest part is I would take her back in an instant. I lost a piece of my soul with her."
Some of the biggest heartbreaks come when someone shows their true colors.
"FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND WAS MARRIED WITH KIDS ON THE INTERNET. I was happy and in love for two years. One day while doing my research for a client work, I come across a research paper. The research paper matched what I was looking for, scrolling through it, I realized the owner had some names as my boyfriend."
"But this time he acknowledges his wife and two children for being patient with him as he was busy doing the thesis. I got curious, I took a screenshot and sent him a picture and asked if it's his paper."
"Also, I asked if it's true that he has two kids and a wife and he why didn't tell me. He answered 'DOES IT MATTER '. That was the end of my relationship. Never talked about it, never told any soul what happened."
"I finally got with my best friend and soul mate. He knows more about me then anyone and knows what I've been put thru my whole life. When we first got together he promised he would never do anything to me that others have."
"One year later he cheated, lied and and broke my spirit. Something i never thought was possible with me, yet he accomplished it. It's been a year since i left him and he still tries to get back into my life. The sad part is I know he doesn't love me and I can't stop loving him."
"After four years of supporting my lover through his depression and alcoholism, he announced tonight that he is leaving me. I'm pretty depressed."
A Devious Scheme
"Wife moves our small family across the country for a promotion at her company. When we arrive and settle into our house, she leaves me for her boss."
"The move was a scheme for her boss to leave his wife and kids, and for her to leave me, while being able to be close to all their children. So I unknowingly left my career, family and friends behind to move to a state where I don't know anyone so she could be with her new guy."
Unexpected tragedy will always be, to me, the saddest break up story.
A co-worker of mine used to date a young man who was a patron at the store where we both worked.
Their budding romance was new and exciting and absolutely adorable to watch.
He told me he planned to propose to her before he went away on a family vacation, but sadly, my friend never got the proposal. The guy drowned in a horrible boating accident during his trip.
Although my friend is now happily married with two kids, I wonder if she still thinks about him.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
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On the outside, so many professions and careers look glamorous, financially enticing, and fun.
Often we sit back in our own lives and wallow in our dead-end jobs with that "wish I could do that for a living mentality!"
But if you look a little closer or, much like Dorothy Gale in OZ, just wait for a Toto to push the curtain back, you'll see that a lot more is going on behind the scenes.
And the shenanigans we don't see, make all that fun... evaporate.
So many careers and high power industries are built on a foundation of lies, backstabbing, and stress. And not in that fun "Dynasty" way.
That quiet, dead-end gig may not be so bad after all.
Redditor MethodicallyDeep wanted hear all the tea about certain careers, by asking:
What is a secret in your industry that should be talked about?
I swear if every single person was forced to work in the hospitality industry for at least one month in their life, y'all would be beside yourselves. The amount of craziness and laziness could keep you eating at home for every meal until death.
Play Bigmartin scorsese casino GIFGiphy
"Casino dealers really do want the players to win. We don't work for the house. We get paid crap hourly rates and rely on tips. Unless the player is super nice they only to tip if they win so we really do want you to win." ~ thedevilsgame
Not the Good Stuff...
"That you can take a gallon of paint and give it a different label, price point, and warranty depending on the store it is sold in." ~ big_d_usernametaken
"My professor told me the same thing. He was a job coach and erased the due dates on food products with I believe acetone or some product in nail polish remover."
"Would slap a new date on it, and the food would get shipped to poorer neighborhoods. That crap blew my mind." ~ Additional_Bar_2013
"Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That if everyone being charged with a crime insisted on it going to trial, no plea bargaining, the system would crash." ~ mikenyle
"When I was a juror, the judge also commented before everything started that trial by jury is the only thing causing people to plea bargain and "getting the system moving."
"Many trials sit in limbo for years, and it's only the threat of "Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That really negotiations start. That's exactly what happened in my case - jurors got selected, and that afternoon (after being 2 years in the system), the defendant pleads out." ~ zealeus
"Safety. It's not really about your health and well being. It's about saving the company money from medical expenses, lost time, lawyer costs, etc. Very rarely does your company actually give 2 craps about you, no matter how much they preach safety, they just don't want to pay if you get hurt/killed." ~ WhenThePiecesFit
"pen to paper"New Girl I Give Up GIFGiphy
"TV/screenwriter here. If you're established and well connected, it's very easy to coast and be a TV writer for YEARS and do very little actual writing. Most of TV writing is just talking in a room with other writers spitballing."
"This is why there's so many old, unfunny dudes still "writing" on TV shows. They're hired by their friends and in TV, a lot writers don't actually do much "pen to paper" writing. Plus everything gets rewritten to death." ~ GardenChic
So much mess. Someone hire me to write for TV. Why are you just giving away jobs to unqualified people? Life is so unfair. This list makes me mad. Let's continue...
Carbon Copiesmail GIF by RabbidsGiphy
"I work in the print industry, we print cheques for companies and there is so little security involved in hiring, or keeping the materials secure, or running the actual work, or shipping the work to customers. I'm shocked we haven't had a problem with stolen cheques." ~ Jeff_Cunningham
"Advertising. I keep reading that advertising is leading people to be more woke, or multicultural. Companies don't lead, they follow. They do lots of research and know where the future markets are."
"I worked for a very conservative global brand. 5 years before gay marriage became legal, they told us it would happen and we needed to start targeting the LBGTQ community." ~ leftside72
"Visa agent and I've seen people be refused because the manager didn't like their face." ~ Ok_Albatross9395
"Omg this happened to my sister. She couldn't start her semester in time because she kept being refused a visa even though she fulfilled all conditions."
"Finally my parents found a "connection" in embassy to see what's going on; turns out someone just didn't like her when she came to give her papers the first time. I never knew if I can fully believe that story." ~ animal7239
So much typing...
"I'm a writer, among other things. I used to ghostwrite. You'd be amazed how many popular books are partly or fully ghostwritten. I specialised in taking people's crappy first drafts and rewriting them so they were actually good. Not "good" according to people's taste, which is subjective."
"But objectively better in the sense of being properly spelled, not having gaping plot holes, making sure characters were consistent. By the time I was done there was often very little left of the draft the "writer" had created, but there was a marketable product."
"Pisses me off no end when I see all the bull the publishing industry comes out with about how writers submitting a manuscript must make sure it's perfect because only excellence will get you anywhere."
"I don't know how they can say that and still sleep at night, knowing full well that they're hiring people like me to do large-scale rewrites (or to take a half-baked plot and create a draft from scratch)." ~ iwillckingbiteyou
ThievesJoseline Hernandez Facepalm GIFGiphy
"I work in payroll. The number of payroll reports I see where people are conned out of their overtime is saddening."
"Also, taxes paid by a business shouldn't actively dissuade them from paying employees less. The system shouldn't be based on paying a percentage of employee salary in taxes (FICA, Workers Comp), in other words." ~ ThongofSekhmet
I think some investigations need to be launched. I always knew payroll departments were running a scam. Too many people are being ripped off. Time to expose some people.
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