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Bullying is an epidemic. But it's looked on as something we should just all get over. Getting over being tortured or violated is not something one just "get's over." When I was in high school certain boys would throw glass bottles at my head and scream the word "f*g!" All I was trying to do was get to class. But for some reason, certain people felt they needed to scar me in order for me to grow. For a long time I didn't grow, I shrunk. The effects of those moments are haunting.

Redditor u/SakuraIsPink-_- wanted to discuss what happens when one is tormented for being themselves, why does it happen and how does life go on from it... they asked... [SERIOUS] Victims of bullying, what happened and how did it affect your life?

1-

I grew up being bullied by not only my peers but also by family members.

I still have incredibly low self esteem, I have a hard time dating anyone, and I basically refuse to take compliments from people because I'm afraid they'll just tell me they're joking anyway.

It's been rough. I'm 25 and still trying to deal with crap from my teenage years.

EDIT: Wow. Thank for for all of the awards and support. You are all so kind and I truly appreciate it.

For those asking, yes, I have seen a therapist in the past, but I was young and stupid and gave up on it pretty quickly. I intend on actually going to see someone once Covid has calmed down because I have a hard time connecting with someone over the phone.

And to all of those in similar situations, I truly hope you are able to find peace and live great lives. Don't let your past drag you down, you can accomplish so much.

mythiicalex

2-

My worst bully was my dad who'd call me a lazy fatty, accused me of being gay, said I was a disrespectful piece of crap. He is, literally, one of the cruelest people I've ever met and he thinks he's a freaking saint. However, in the past two years he's had four strokes and is probably going to be dead in the next few months so the jokes on him... I'm not even going to be sad when he dies, other than feeling bad for my mom and siblings...

Wiesbaden121486

3-

I'm 51 and am still unpacking crap from my teens. Hell over the pandemic I realized the worst of the bullying came from my own family. And yeah. It has taken me DECADES to recover any self-esteem. But hey "they wouldn't have teased me if they didn't like me" right?

LowkeyPony

4-

Someone got paid to date me once. Ever since then I was always skeptical that someone actually found me attractive. The person who paid the individual did it because I recently went through a horrible break up and he hated seeing me depressed. I've forgiven him since then because his heart was in the right place but whenever I've been approached by women I think they have an ulterior motive. I've been slowly growing out of this so there is hope.

Zemlenz

5-

I have trouble trusting people. If someone is nice to me I assume that they have an ulterior motive or think about ways that they could harm me. I get along with my co-workers but I don't let many people get close enough to know me.

ProofJournalist

6-

My peers weren't bullies but they made it clear they didn't care about me/I had no friends. My brother was the one that would bully me during our childhood so I grew up not having any friends and having no one to trust in my family. With that said I still think I had a good childhood seeing as I was never physically abused or anything but I still have very little trust for others.

MidnightSloppies

7-

I have a problem where I tend to read negative things into the way people talk to me and interact with me. Like I have a tendency to assume people are passive aggressively insulting me when in all actuality they probably like me just fine and don't mean anything by it.

I've gotten a lot better at not taking things personally but every now and then it still pops up in my brain.

badgersprite

8-

I was the kid who got bullied by all the popular kids and ostracized. I had a crush on a boy and they found out, so they pranked me saying he wanted to ask me out but was too shy. So I asked him out in the hall only for him to brutally reject me in front of everyone and they all laughed. I was also beaten up by a girl who dragged me by my pony tail and told me I wasn't cool enough to hang out with the popular kids.

I still have a lot of self doubt and anxiety at 34. I feel a lot of the time like people don't really want me around and just tolerate me and then talk about me behind my back. This wasn't helped at all during my marriage. My ex was emotionally abusive and often told me I didn't want to leave him because nobody else would treat me as good as he did. This kept my self esteem low and I became pretty reclusive. I'm now very much the kind of person who doesn't reach out to anyone and I just wait for them to come to me. It's safer that way, if they're the ones reaching out then it must mean they do want to be around.

It's something I'm working on, though. I realize it's unhealthy to never reach out so I'm stepping out of my comfort zone to nurture relationships and grow. My boyfriend is amazing and supportive of this and encourages me to reach out. So far it has mostly been with my family, I have a ton of cousins I used to be close to and I'm working on rebuilding those relationships. The pandemic makes it hard, but I find I feel better after even just a phone call. I'm trying to reclaim my life and not let the bullying and abuse of my past close me off to the world.

sai_gunslinger

9-

I was made fun of by everyone including the teachers just because I was "That Shy Kid Who Likes To Draw And Is Bad At SportsTM" through grades 1-7.

People were always throwing trash at me and once I even had a trash bin put on my head when I was just minding my business on a break. A lot of insults regarding my looks too.

I grew up to be a socially anxious, introverted, apathetic and asocial adult who doesn't trust people, keeps my distance from them and has a lot of self esteem issues on top of borderline personality disorder. I don't seek friends or keep old friends because deep down I think that I'm just an annoyance to them and I see them interacting with me as a form of pity. No matter how much people assure me they are okay with me I just don't believe them.

Same goes for any compliments directed at my looks.

I'm 23 now and I will never forgive those people and I will wish them the worst because even if they come to me after 10 years and apologize, their crappy apology won't fix the mental trauma I suffered because of them.

ThatOneWhoSparkles

10-

I was bullied as a teenager. I had crooked teeth, bushy eyebrows and dark circles around my eyes, I was also anemic so I was so pale. They called me zombie, witch girl and other hurtful things.

I got braces in college and worked out and a lot of guys started complimenting me, which I always thought was another prank, it took me years to love and accept myself and to not let myself seek attention from other men.

I was so desperate for love and attention that I allowed myself to be abused by an ex, and to be the side chick of another.

I'm doing okay now, though.

sunnynightmares

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Image by Mandyme27 from Pixabay

It’s weird how much stuff we let slide when we’re kids. Even if you look at the TV shows we watched back then, we had such a high threshold for the bizarre (early 2000’s Nickelodeon, anyone?). So it’s no surprise that some of us straight-up didn’t react when we saw weird crap in person.

Here are a few wild examples of seemingly harmless things we saw as kids that would be horrifying to see now. Brace yourself, this one gets crazy.



Kids and water aren’t a great mix sometimes. It can get real gross, real quick.

Not worth the tranquility.

I've always loved the tranquil feeling of being under water. When I was a kid I would just hold my breath and float around. Sometimes adults would think I was drowning and run up and scoop me out. I don't remember this (it was when I was pretty young) but my parents have told me about it

I used to think it was a funny story... people thinking I was drowning when I was just trying to relax

....until I watched a video explaining child drownings and yeah, the way I acted in water looked exactly like a drowned kid.

I don't think it's funny anymore.

Turboshot49cents

Uhhhhhh.....ew?

Renee Zellweger Water GIF by Working Title Giphy

Flood water. It was fun and games for the kids, and we even splashed around in it, much to the horror of our parents (who immediately scrubbed us down). We didn't understand then, but now, oh wow...sewer, insects, rats, parasites, etc.

MrFantasticallyNerdy

That’s actually hilarious.

My friend and I were walking along the road in about thigh high flood waters. A small boat with two men comes up to us. We were about 9 years old and I think they were National Guard. Anyway, one of the men asks if we remembered exactly where the manholes in the road were. We answered no. He told us that all of the covers had most likely been washed away in the flood but not to worry because it would probably only take them a few days to find our bodies if we were sucked down one of the holes by currents they produced. He spoke in a matter of fact tone and then left.

As an adult, I have zero doubt those two men had a good laugh as they looked back and watched us nope out of that water like two roadrunners in a cartoon.

Edit: It was Fish and Game Wardens. The NG didn't come until later.

Daykri3

Not to mention the crazy injuries that kids somehow are constantly surrounded by.

Had a jogger get hit by a car outside my house once when I was about eight or nine. My nephew came running inside yelling at my parents and my sister to call the ambulance because he was bleeding pretty badly.

I could even see him from our playrooms window and I wondered what he was doing lying on the grass. Turns out he was bleeding out pretty badly, deliriously yelling at my parents when they tried to help.

Eventually, an ambulance came and picked him up, but my parents always told me he made it out okay. The day after, in the spot he was found someone had put a lily in the grass in a vase.

It took me longer than I care to admit to figure out he died from the hit and run.

SixthUnderminer

How sharp were they, though?

A kid f*cking sharpened his fingers with an automatic pencil sharpener at grade 2. Everyone didn't know what was going on until the teacher started freaking out.

NubbishWood

I just remembered I tried to stick my finger into electric pencil sharpeners as a kid and disliked how my fingers were too big to fit in it. What the hell was I thinking?

BSPlanes

Rock climbing can definitely be dangerous.

scared george costanza GIF by HULU Giphy

We did climbing in PE (sixth to eight grade). Like rock climbing and we had to do our own harness and stuff. PE teacher (supposedly) checked it after we were done to make sure it was done right. One day my neighbor broke an arm and leg because she wasn't properly strapped and fell.

This was at an international American school in Egypt around year 2000, for all those wondering what type of school does rock climbing.

Ashleywalz90

Kids are, in fact, made of elastic.

We used to jump of our roof. First time hurt a little, but after a few times you learnt how to land.

Did it regularly and would try various items as 'parachutes' to see if it slows you down any.

I look at that height now and wonder how the hell we never broke anything - kids bones are more elastic I guess.

Reapr

​It’s amazing what adults can get away with right under kids’ noses.

A casual hit-and-run.

car japan GIF Giphy

My babysitter was running late to take me to piano lessons and rear ended an old man at a stoplight. She told me that he must not have noticed because he didn't get out of his car. I thought nothing of it, and she drove away and took me to my piano lesson.

I forgot about it, and it didn't click until I remembered the incident years later that I had been unknowingly involved in a hit and run.

Idontknowwhattoput22

Big yikes.

Not so much something I saw - but when I was 5 or 6 I was at a family wedding, and there was this really friendly adult guy (who I didn't know) who told me he was really worried about his nice new car in the parking lot and how he wanted to check on the car but didn't want to leave the wedding.

He asked if I could go check on it and he would pay me $5 just to go see if his car was "okay" being that age $5 was a crazy amount of money so I couldn't believe my luck.

On the way to the parking lot, my mom intercepted me and was absolutely horrified, I remember not understanding why, like trying to tell her no she had it wrong he was nice and paying me! And as an adult now I'm like that's so messed up and I wonder how close a call that could have been.

DeclanAF

Go grandma!

Until the age of 12 my grandma had custody of me. I used to sleep with her and she slept with a baseball bat next to her bed. It wasn't until I was much older that I realized she did it dads friends wouldn't be able to do anything to me.

Dad was a drug addict and drunk and when he was out of prison he had all kinds of people in and out of the house. You would never know what would be missing the next day - often my Nintendo :(

She did everything she could to protect me from God knows who/what and I had zero clue!

Edit: Damn this blew up while I was sleeping!! Thank you so much to everyone for the support :)

Im adding extra details to help understand the situation.

My grandmother was born in 1914, had a third grade education and was a housewife her entire life. She was already 71 when I was born! My grandpa died when I was 4 and it was just her and I. We lived in a tiny 2 bedroom house in a terrible neighborhood. It was paid off and that's all she could afford. She lived off of the social security death benefits from my grandpa and food banks. She couldn't just "leave" and go anywhere else.

Also, for those suggesting she should have called the cops - cops don't do anything if you say "I'm scared these guys will do something bad" cops have to wait till something bad happens.

She did her very best and raised my right! Now my father is back in prison (shocker) and is pissed at me for not letting the past be in the past and welcoming him with open arms. Meanwhile I'm a 2x college graduate with a great job, my own house and recently married! She definitely did something right. Unfortunately she died when I was 12. Id give anything to be able to tell her how grateful I am to her for doing everything right.

LostLadyA


We see some scary stuff as kids. No wonder most of us are so messed up years later. Often these things don’t even register as something terrible- a lot of times, the things we witnessed were just a part of life.

The best we can do is to take our trauma, and learn from it, so we don’t pass it down to our own children. Because kids don’t deserve it- they deserve to have happy childhoods and not think about the horrors of the world.