Water torture![rebelmouse-image 18361833 is_animated_gif=
I'd have them pour water on my enemy's face 15 minutes after he falls asleep. Every time.
No peaceful rest for you![rebelmouse-image 18361834 is_animated_gif=
Whenever they sleep, they dream of being at work.
Mirror, mirror on the wall.[rebelmouse-image 18361836 is_animated_gif=
I selfishly wanted a snark shadow to follow my father's wife everywhere. They'd be giving her backhanded compliments and downright insults whenever she does anything. I thought it would help her experience what those around her feel.
How does that taste? Oh right, you don't know.[rebelmouse-image 18361837 is_animated_gif=
Someone asks them a question any time they take a bite or sip of something.
Did you hear that? NO, just you.[rebelmouse-image 18361838 is_animated_gif=
As soon as they fall asleep at night they will be startled awake by a loud scream from inside their home and only they will be able to hear it.
Don't lose your head![rebelmouse-image 18361839 is_animated_gif=
Exploding head syndrome. Happens to me, look it up
Straight to the trash![rebelmouse-image 18980204 is_animated_gif=
All critical emails, mail and other indirect correspondence simply wouldn't reach their intended recipients. Mundane stuff would go through as usual though so rather than being able to identify the curse, the target would merely feel alone and ignored in the world.
Invest in some depends kids.[rebelmouse-image 18980205 is_animated_gif=
Anytime they try to poop, they just fart. Whenever they try to just let a simple fart out, they poop.
Dam you Comcast![rebelmouse-image 18980206 is_animated_gif=
Their internet connection will disconnect at random. Also when they are going to watch a video, their connection will be slowed so the video stops to buffer often.
It's never just right.[rebelmouse-image 18980207 is_animated_gif=
Make everything in their life slightly too _.
For example, maybe they'd go to a restaurant that's slightly too far away from their house, only to be waited by a slightly too chatty (and therefore slightly too slow) waitress. Their meal would be slightly too salty, or perhaps slightly too bland. It would cost slightly too much, and be slightly too cold. I think you get the idea (In fact, I think I explained slightly too much).
Those handi-wipes ain't helping up![rebelmouse-image 18980208 is_animated_gif=
Cursed to always have sticky toddler hands.
Whistle while you live.[rebelmouse-image 18980209 is_animated_gif=
Speaking as someone who has been battling a cold for a week, I would inflict the curse of the nose whistle. Once an hour, the noise would spontaneously resolve, only to start again 30 seconds later.
Cover your mouth... FOREVER![rebelmouse-image 18349848 is_animated_gif=
I'd prefer giving them that feeling of having to cough but no matter how much they cough nothing ever comes up. They keep coughing because they figure "This time, something will break loose and I'll have some relief" but no. No relief. They keep coughing because there's something in their lungs but it never comes out.
Do I know you?[rebelmouse-image 18347514 is_animated_gif=
Random people would come up to them while they are around coworkers/family/people who matter and say things like:
"Wasn't that orgy wild? Hope to see you at the next one!"
"Hey, what is that herpes medicine that you use called?"
"Where are your seats for the Nickleback concert?"
At least there are no holes.[rebelmouse-image 18355328 is_animated_gif=
All of their socks are permanently damp.
No sweets![rebelmouse-image 18980210 is_animated_gif=
Replace all of their sugar with salt... I am a simple man.
Scratch there, no there... no, THERE!!![rebelmouse-image 18980211 is_animated_gif=
An itch down at the bone that moves through their body in varying intensities.
It can never be scratched properly and it can't be adjusted for. Just a constant itch ranging from inconvenience to straight up agony.
It worked for Scrooge.[rebelmouse-image 18980212 is_animated_gif=
Show them what would have happened if they said 'yes' all those years ago...
Sing out Louise![rebelmouse-image 18980213 is_animated_gif=
I'd remove their brain / mouth filter. Everything they think will be spoken aloud.
Sleep like the dog you are.[rebelmouse-image 18980214 is_animated_gif=
I'd send a pack of fleas to everyone that stops in the middle of a corridor when they know there are other people walking through it.
Love and hate is a fine, fine line.[rebelmouse-image 18980216 is_animated_gif=
Make my enemy have the best date ever with a special ending.
She is the woman he has secretly loved for years and he finally got up the courage to ask her out and low and behold she said yes.
They go out for dinner and things are going amazing, the conversation and wine is flowing like water in a river. A single weave criss crosses through their conversations, always bring them closer and closer together. Finally the waiter silently gives him the check and notices that the waiter has made the wine complementary.
The date is coming to an end.
But it doesn't. They stroll through the city, taking their time, neither wants to say goodbye and end this amazing night. As they continue to wall around they meander by my enemies house, he asks her if she wants to come in and have some coffee. To his disbelief she says yes.
Things continue to progress until finally they are passtionatly kissing and they start making their way to the bed room. She takes of her beautiful satin black dress and he rips his shirt off faster than man once thought possible.
As she slowly takes his pants off he thinks to himself, she is the one. If he were to die right at that moment, he would be the happiest man in the world.
He can't take it any more, he removes his underwear.
She stops. Looks down. And starts laughing. She continues to laugh as she puts back on her dress. As she finishes zipping up her dress, she stops laughing and wipes a tear from her eye.
She points one more time at his penis and laughs as she walks out the door.
Credit[rebelmouse-image 18977462 is_animated_gif=
H/T : Reddit
That is until they stumble and land on their face.
It turns out what they were resistant to accepting in the first place was accurate all along.
If only they listened.
Curious to hear of other people's growing pains, Redditor TinyUnderstanding948 asked:
"What lesson did you have to learn the hard way?"
You can protect yourself with these reminders.
Leave A Paper Trail
"Any monetary or business agreement needs to be in writing!"
Observing The Fine Print
"Read the contract."
Generally speaking, business relationships and friendships are mutually exclusive.
"Not everyone you work with is your friend."
What Venting Led To
Consumers who were previously taken advantage of have the following advice to pass along.
Splurge On Good Quality
"Buy it nice or buy it twice."
"This is 100% accurate but needs a disclaimer: expensive does not always equate to nice."
The relationships we have with people are complex, but you may want to keep these in mind.
Extending A Lifeline
"You can't have a relationship with someone's potential."
Achieve Mutual Adoration
"Loving someone doesn't mean they will keep loving you."
And when it comes to your health, listen up.
"Drink plenty of water."
"Ended up at the ICU with an IV drip for severe dehydration."
"DRINK YOUR WATER!"
While advice from the people we care about comes from a good place, they are not always appreciated.
At least for me, I've found that picking myself up and dusting myself off was most effective.
That has to come naturally.
"What’s the most out of line thing a doctor has every said to you?"
Not Going Mental
The wrong treatment after a misdiagnosis can be a doctor's serious mistake.
"I was petrified. Went home in tears and absolutely petrified."
"Then my dad took me to his doctor, who took a biopsy."
"It was just a random skin growth and she cut it off then and there."
"Too Young" For Cancer
The "Sad" Pill
It's even more unsettling when someone you entrust your life to crosses a line.
Assessment Or Pick-Up Line?
"Mental health doctor told my daughter, 'You're too pretty to be depressed.'"
A NSFW Observation
Mom To The Rescue
The Gynocologist's Love Advice
The Gyno Who Jumped To Conclusions
Going to the doctor's office for any reason can cause a lot of anxiety.
Hopefully, you're in good hands with a physician who is professional, as well as compassionate.
Growing up, I had zero idea that the food I ate daily was "cultural."
She had to explain it because we were about to eat at a white friend's house for the first time.
"What do you mean there's no rice with the beans? Did they run out? Should we bring some?"
"No, they just don't eat rice and beans."
"So what do they eat with their chicharron de pollo?"
Y'all should have seen my face.
Reddit user remyleboi00 asked:
"Non-Americans, what is the best 'American' food?"
Even as someone born in America, it took a while before I got familiar with American food.
So if it's just not your comfort zone - let Reddit guide you to the can't miss dishes.
"Cajun food. Definitely the most unique American food"
"As an American I 100% agree with you. Cajun food is heaven sent"
They Are Fundesperate housewives eating GIFGiphy
"Curly fries 👌"
"It’s especially good with some pulled pork and caramelized onions mixed in. And some insulin."
"Solid choice. We Americans LOVE cheese."
"No need to apologize. One of our favorites too."
Thankful For Thanksgiving.I Love You Cooking GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy
"We also get spoiled with your traditional cuisine."
"I usually get a food coma on Thanksgiving"
"Same with the ham or prime rib dinner at Christmas. And all the pies. God I love pumpkin pie."
"I smoke meatloaf, can't go back to oven baked ever again."
"This tread has me wanting to smoke a brisket sooner rather than later."
"Now, pork and chicken, whatever else... Go nuts... Just leave beef alone."
"I had smoked mac and cheese once, it was heavenly."
Risk It Allhungry bart simpson GIFGiphy
The Holy Pudding
"I can’t find someone who’s listed it so"
"That shit is LIFE CHANGING"
"Gotta have the Nilla wafers or it isn't right."
Cornbread!cornbread cooking GIF by emibobGiphy
"A nice warm cornbread muffin with some butter and a little drizzle of honey is amazing."
"Cornbread with a nice bowl of chili is such a nice comfort food."
"And the spicier the chili the nicer the sweet, buttery cornbread is with it."
"Farmer’s market jam is the way."
"It's easily top 3 greatest sandwich ever."
As American As It Getspulp fiction breakfast GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy
"Took them to my favorite little spot, they loved the waitress filling up their cups unprompted."
Now that youve heard Reddit, it's my turn.
I was 22 before I had meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
FAM. Fam. Faaaaaaaaaaam.
Keep your greasy pizza, amateurs. It's potato time over here.
"How does someone politely end a conversation with a person who won't stop talking?"
Extricate Yourself Immediately
"When they draw a breath, politely say:"
""On that note, I must be on my way.""
Then, simply leave."
Couldn't Get Him To Shut Up
"But some people just need to talk for whatever reason. I need my freaking silence."
Put It In Writing
Put Them (Back) To Work
Taking Care Of Each Other
Talk To The Door
Take Your Turn
Create A Deadline
"My entire dad's side of the family are the type that never stop talking."
No Need To Feel Bad