Let's be real, we all wanna be special. And some of us are willing to do or say ANYTHING to make themselves feel that way. Usually that leads to some bizarre claims that are meant to be impressive, when in reality, it's probably something that they need to do some inner work on. But that's just my hippie side speaking.
Here are a list of claims that people say to assure themselves that they're different. Am I being cynical? Probably. NotAGoodUsernamelol asked:
Whats something people commonly brag about but isn't actually impressive?
Honestly, the things these first few people brag about are probably just the things that they need to fix.
Crying is not something to brag about.
“People who one up you on how sh*t they think their life is.
Whenever you say you are tired, they counter with "oh I only slept for 3 hours last night" or they brag about how many times they've cried recently, skipped meals, etc.
It's really only a particular kind of person that does this sort of behavior, the attention seeker."
I didn’t know trauma was a competition.Understand I Get It GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
“When people brag about something that happened to them that was worse than what happened to you."
“Oh my god, this. My family is messed up, and I've been registered in CPS' system since about a week before I was born. Mom is a drug addict, dad is abusive, sister is paranoid schizophrenic. Whole ordeal. I got super lucky, and I'm really well off by now. So you can't really tell my background unless I share it.
I did once, to my classmates at lunch break, after a question of why I lived alone in an apt so early (16), and I explained a little bit, and answered all questions that came up.
Lo and behold, this one girl always had something to one up me with. I told the fascinating story of how my dad kidnapped me, and how my mom drove 8 hours to «kidnap» me back. Fun stuff. She interrupted, saying how her dad always forces her to go to soccer practice, and she knows exactly how I would have felt…
Sure, being forced into activities you don't want to at all is messed up, but like… What?????"
These guys are the worst.
“That they're an ‘alpha’. Mate, if you're telling me, you're not one.”
“It's funny if you consider for a moment that the term ''alpha male'' came from a misconception made by a guy studying wolves, who tried warning people that he messed up and that there is no such thing as an ''alpha wolf'', ''beta wolf'' or ''omega wolf''. Turns out he was just not aware that the whole pack that he was studying at the time was quite literally one family of wolves, not several in one pack, so naturally the head of the family is...well...the head of the family. He tried his best to warn us, but the damage had already been done because some meathead discovered his first paper and glossed over the second one.”
Speaking of people who desperately want to be cool, here are a few more certified bad*sses.
To be fair, I’m also scared to ask the clerk where the chips are.
“How badass they are, or what they would do if confronted with a situation. Not always the case, but is pretty common.
We get it, you would knock their @ss out and confront someone if they said X to you, but you were also afraid to ask the store clerk where the chips aisle was at Walmart."
“I have an employee who is constantly telling about how he's beat someone up or threatening to. He's late 50s obese, has high blood pressure and would drop like a sack of sh*t if he ever got punched by a teenager. He keeps threatening his daughters boyfriend, and can't understand why his daughter wants to leave home as soon as she turns 18. It's just embarrassing."
At least be a little interesting.Studying Big Brain GIFGiphy
“Their IQ when they clearly aren't intellectually interesting in any way.”
“Years ago someone at work commented that I thought I was 'so smart' when I fixed the printer. Thought it was just banter so I responded that my IQ was at least 90! The rest of my time there he commented to everyone about how I bragged about my IQ. Couldn't correct him without making him look bad. Just told people that he was just annoyed that the printer seemed to hate him so it seemed like an inside joke.”
This is just concerning.
“How much they can drink. Good for you, bro! Enjoy your 30 pack... Makes me sad.”
“I feel like that comes from playing drinking games when you're young and you first start drinking. If you're able to drink more and keep playing for longer you're seen as good/better compared to if you're completely wasted after 2-3 beers.”
People Who Made A Lot Of Money From Something Totally Random | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
How is this even possible?
“That they haven't read a book since high school. Or that they can barely read/do math.”
“I can't imagine stopping reading? It's so weird. Even like audio books or something. How do you manage to avoid books your whole life after high school.”
Bragging at work does nothing for your reputation. Trust me, your boss isn’t gonna give you that raise for bragging.
Why would any teacher want this?Season 8 Teacher GIF by FriendsGiphy
“As a teacher, hearing other teachers brag about how hard it is to pass their class. Like, you're just bad at your job."
“Man, I make it hard to FAIL my class. Especially this past year and seeing how much nonsense my kids have to put up with at home, as long as they showed me they were actively trying, they passed.
Some still managed to fail, though.”
Overworking is not impressive.
“How many unused PTO hours they have.
Seriously. Overworking us not a good brag. And letting a company NOT have to pay you your guaranteed benefits... nope.”
“I mean, as long as they use them by the end of the year. Otherwise, it's just leaving money on the table and that's just idiotic.”
Stay away from dumpster fires.
“Getting in trouble. This chick at work would tell us tales of her weird roommate and the everyday dumb sh*t they got themselves into. She thought it was cool, everyone else thought their life was a dumpster fire."
“They are fun to encounter on the internet but once they appear in real life there is a huge chance you will get pulled into their bullsh*t misadventures of misery. I like reading random strangers messy stuff here on reddit but that as close as I would like to get, got enough messy MFers to deal with in my life already."
Sometimes you have to wonder why people thought these were valid things to brag about in the first place.
These people can be toxic af.time tech GIFGiphy
“I've realized that I just automatically stop listening to gamers who feel the need to brag about how much a** they kicked in multiplayer games.
Congratulations, you accomplished literally nothing of real value.
I'm more referring to gamers who insist on being toxic about it. It's one thing if someone wants to gush about their updated wardrobe, as I completely understand the feel-good sensation that comes from that, but I stop affording someone attention when they start going off.
Let THEM do the bragging.
“Anyone who won't shut up about stuff that their friends/relatives did. Excessive bragging is annoying enough on it's own, but it's extra annoying coming from someone who didn't even put in the work to achieve things in the first place.”
Enjoy your life a bit.
“How hard they work.
I work 2 jobs, I'm a hardworking person. You should be like me.
No, I want a job to support myself not to live my life just to work. Seen a tweet where it says something along the line of we work 60 years just to live and enjoy 12 years. By then our body would be half broken down and unable to participate in a lot of activities.”
Imagine if a woman did this?
“Body count. Once had a man tell me he slept with over 200 women. Don't know if people commonly brag about how many people they've slept with, but this guy seemed to think it would impress me. The only thing it did was raise a red flag parade, so I marched the hell away.”
My unsolicited advice is to not try to make yourself special or impressive, but focus on what makes you special on your own. You don’t need other peoples’ validation to make yourself feel good.
Then again, if you wanna brag about being a dumpster fire, that’s your prerogative.
Americans often drop popular sayings in conversation that have some element of truth to them.
You've undoubtedly come across phrases like, "Kill two birds with one stone" or "it's raining cats and dogs."
While those are used to describe actions, like the state of the weather, there are other phrases that are dispensed as words of wisdom to help individuals through a challenging situation.
But the endeavor to console someone by using this tactic is not always effective.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Braca5 asked:
"What popular sayings are bullsh*t?"
These sound familiar?
The Survivor Mentality
"whatever doesn't kill you just makes you stronger."
"Looks aren't important."
"It's true. They don't always or entirely matter, but they do. That's kind of how superficial humans are."
Not Every Pain Heals
"Time heals all wounds."
"There's another one that goes like this 'time heals nothing, it just replaces memories.'"
The stigma around this is so foul, the guilty will lie about their offensive crime.
"He who smelt it dealt it"
"Whoever said the rhyme did the crime."
Psychology Around The Guilt
"The irony is it's almost always the opposite that's true. Most people would rather just be quiet about a fart than try to put it on somebody else and as it is you usually become pretty accustomed to your own and probably don't even smell half of the ones that slip out so likely the person who dealt it is going to be one of the last to actually consciously smell it."
Playing by the rules doesn't always get you places.
"Cheaters never win."
"A better saying:"
'Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it Treason.' John Harington (1561 - 1612)
Comeuppance Never Comes
"What goes around, comes around."
"Bullsh*t. I've seen people be jerks my entire life (I'm 57 y/o) and they never got what should have come around to them."
Thing About Karma
"Worse, it's an excuse to not take responsibility. A few years back, I had discovered a nasty person who was fooling the public by buying dogs from Amish auctions of out of state, bringing them, unvaccinated, across state lines, and pawning them off on the public as 'rescues' but also taking loads of donations when she was not registered as a charity. She was not using the funds for medical care. The gal was a flashy blonde in designer clothes and knew how to fool people."
"The county authorities were investigating and needed more evidence. I approached the owner of a local pet supply store where she operated her scam and asked him to cooperate. He banned her from the store but completely refused to cooperate with the investigation. Excuse, 'Karma will get her.'"
"B*tch got off with just a fine when she would have faced animal cruelty charges."
"Karma? No, it's not a thing."
Those who adopt a passive way of thinking end up making up for lost time.
Turning A Blind Eye
"Out of sight, out of mind."
"Ever lost track of a spider?"
How Much Time Do You Have?
"Good things come to those who wait."
Lond Distance Relationships Aren't For Everyone
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
I think those who say "if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life," is debatable.
Depending on the situation, being forced to do something you once loved so you could earn a living can potentially breed resentment.
I'm a former dancer who absolutely lived off the adrenaline of performing on a stage. But when the cast I was performing with at a theme park was forced to do the same rigorous show five times a day–sometimes in intense heat–I was miserable.
Once, I severely twisted my ankle mid-performance simply because I was physically exhausted but continued giving it my 100% when my body was ready to give out. That's when most performance-based injuries occur.
That phrase certainly got a second hard look from me back then.
No two people share exactly the same likes and interests.
But on occasion, one might find themselves being among the few, if not the sole members of a certain fan club.
Indeed, while Cats earned a place on the list of the worst movies of all time, its 19% score on Rotten Tomatoes suggests that there are a handful of people who actually liked it.
Or while many people dread having to clean their homes, some simply can't wait to get started, and will look for any and every opportunity to do so.
Redditor StardustNova_ was curious to hear where members of the Reddit community found themselves in a distinct minority of appreciation, leading them to ask:
"What's something you like that the vast majority people hate?"
You've got me all tied up in knots!
"I love untangling things."
"Your Christmas lights end up in a ball and there’s no telling where it starts or ends?"
"Got a necklace that got rolled up into a total mess?"
"I’m your de-tangler."
"Headphones come out of your pocket looking like a Tangela? "
"Total zen for me."
"Wish I could make a few bucks with it tho."- Not_Jo_Mama
I'm all ears!
"People that talk a lot so I don’t need to."
"I like listening to them & I find their energy refreshing."- krasavetsa
"Everything about the airport."
"Idk why but it’s so fascinating."
"Honestly I like it more than the trip sometimes lol."- abigailgwhitneyairport GIFGiphy
"The cold never bothered me anyway"
"A Winnipeg winter day where there's not a cloud in the sky or a breath of wind, but it's so f*cking cold out your nose hairs freeze together every time you breathe."- FakeLordFarquaad
When life gives you lemons...
"Apparently a lot of people don't like the lemon/yellow starburst candy, and that's the one I prefer."- mermaid_with_pants
Sudsy, soapy dreams...
"Doing the dishes."
"I find it so calming."- shakensunshineSeason 5 Episode 10 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
The gift that keeps on giving.
"It's super therapeutic and relaxing to me."
"I'll wrap everyone's presents in the house, even the ones they have to give to other people!"- happygoose2022
Sweeet and sparkly!
"Fruit flavored sparkling water."- suitcaseinherhand
"It's raining, it's pouring..."
"Gloomy and rainy days."- eggtart_princerainy day GIFGiphy
Can't dive too deep!
"I got addicted to research when I was in college and something about putting everything together to present a coherent argument is just exciting for me."- ILoveFoodALotMore
It's always interesting to hear the thing which would make some people groan with misery that would make others cheer with glee.
Nor should always look down on someone for loving something you absolutely hate, as they could help you wrap those presents you've been putting off because you hate it so much.
And who knows, maybe Cats wasn't as bad as you remembered...
It's usually a good feeling to be "on top".
To be found at the top of the list of a notable or unique accomplishment.
Though having the distinction of being in the top 0.1 percent of something might not always be something to brag about, resulting in some keeping this distinction to themselves.
If only because some people might be unusually fascinated by their so-called "accomplishment", that they'll never stop being bombarded by questions.
Redditor ImLostInTheForrest was curious to hear if any members of the Reddit community believed they were in the 0.1 percent of anything, be it commendable, bizarre or unfortunate, leading them to ask:
"What’s something you believe you may be in the 0.1% of?"
A mighty heart indeed
"Scars on my heart."
"I have about 30, I think."
"On my 4th heart procedure, I had 24 cardiac ablations."
"They use radio waves to kill tissue to create scarring so that effectively signals can't travel through that way."
"During one procedure, epicardial, meaning both inside and outside the heart. by the top electrophysiologist on the east coast."
"He said only one other patient of his had more done in one procedure."
"Took 10 hours."
"I could hear the nurses gossiping about me in the hallway."
"This was 7 years ago, and now my heart is working great!"- pearlie_girl·
Extremely comfortable in my skin
"Half of my body is a birthmark of tan skin, and the other half is pale white."
"It's right down the middle of my stomach and same with my back."
"I've only ever seen 1 person online with it saying 'chimerism' but idk if that's same with me."
"Idk but it's uncommon." - User Deleted
"Still living with stage IV lung cancer for 13 yrs."- Flashy-Cattle-8086
Big shoes to fill indeed...
"I wear a size 18."- wearegoodthings
Love your job!
"Don't know if it's less cool because I do it for work, but I 'photograph' atoms and crystalline atomic structures most days."
"I get to see the world in a way few ever do which is kinda neat."- RayseBraizeAnimation Loop GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy
An exclusive club no one wants to be part of...
"I have this condition called Miyoshi Myopathy, which, thankfully, affects only my calves and hence my walking capabilities."
"My doctor told me it is rare, but tbh statistically rare does not really mean anything, everyone might have it but they either did not get out of their way to test it, via taking blood and had it examined in a lab, or they just never realized there was something wrong at all."
"If you are wondering why I said 'Thankfully it only affected the legs', it is because it is a muscle disorder, and some disorders affect Cardiac, heart, and Pulmonary, lungs, muscles that will obviously not be pretty."
"I have to get tested every year to make sure all my vital functions are normal and as of now nothing significant is noted and I should be living a long and healthy life."- 1123Icantthinkofname
It's harder than you think...
"Folks who know percentages."- mrg1957Giphy
"Apparently only 0.1% of people become mechanical engineers in the US and an even smaller percentage are women, so maybe that?"
"I was also less than 2 lbs when I was born, and I think the percentage is probably similar."
"I somehow have no lasting physical issues from that, though my sister has cerebral palsy."- s_p_o_c_k
Plenty to go around!
"I have 3 functional kidneys."
"No it doesn't mean I pee more."
"No it doesn't mean I can drink more alcohol, thats the liver."
"No I won't sell it for under $71,241." - User Deleted
While some wouldn't necessarily consider some of these things an accomplishment, all of them certainly make for fascinating conversation starters.
Seriously, where would the third kidney even go...?
They say there's no use crying over spilled milk, but that doesn't mean there's no use in saying something to diffuse the tension.
When something goes horribly wrong, a comment that comes out of left field or a quippy comment can make everyone feel better.
Once a particular comment proves effective, there's also no real reason to look for something else. Instead, the aforementioned comment becomes your go-to.
In order to find out what those effective comments are, Redditor CruelHandLucas asked:
"What is your favorite thing to say when something goes terribly wrong?"
It's A Story
"This is good for the plot."
"I always say "It's just a part of the character development""
"whenever something goes completely the wrong way i think “ooooh plot twist”"
"“Let’s start again, but this time with feeling,” is one of my favorites."
"I want this on my gravestone"
I Meant To Do That!
"One time when I used to work in a kitchen the head chef accidentally clipped the chip/fries bowl where you dump freshly cooked chips/fries to season them and sent it flying across the kitchen and crashing to the floor with the clang that only stainless steel kitchenware can emit. Without missing a beat he went "I'll just pop that there for a sec" totally deadpan and turned back to the counter by the passe where he was finishing plating some dishes. Something about the humour of it cut through all the chaos of the busy kitchen and I was in tears of laughter. 10 years later I still say "I'll just pop that there for a sec" any time I knock something over, no one else seems to find it as funny as I do but it still entertains me."
"In my kitchen when someone drops a plate or anything its mandatory for someone to tell them “that doesnt go there”"
"Sometimes before things even hit the ground I'll proclaim "Take that, floor!""
""Well that's not ideal, it's it?""
"Best friend is British. When we play golf and she hits a bad shot she just says, "well that's unfortunate." And I love it."
"i usually just shout “BIT SAD INNIT” in a British accent."
"…. My friends hate me"
"YES, QUITE BLOODY MISERABLE, I MUST SAY"
Show No Emotion
"With a neutral expression, and unemotionally."
"I do that but I say “Joy. Deep joy.” Completely deadpan lol."
You Never Saw Me. You Never Even Knew Me.
"I was never here"
"I was never given a name"
Stopped Too Soon
"I picked a hell of a week to stop sniffing glue"
"Whadda week to stop shooting shark adrenaline."
– Deleted User
"Ah gee scoob..."
Those Cartoon Responses
"Great googly moogly"
"I'm with this or "Oh bother" like pooh"
All Eyes On Me
"I like to pause time with a loud record scratch and say "yup. That's me. I bet you're wondering how I got here.....""
Sometimes, when things go horribly wrong, all you want to do is bang your head against the wall...sometimes, until you knock yourself unconscious.
Or, maybe you want to scream and cry and hide in a corner.
However, finding something fun to say may be the best response...and the best way to de-stress and move on.