
Taking in a pet can feel like adding on another member of your family. There's another mouth to feed, another life to worry about. Sometimes they're cute, lovable. Other times they can come with baggage, and that baggage can be violent. With time and patience, though, you can break through and make that "unlovable" animal the family they were always meant to be.
Reddit user, u/CallMeRyann, wanted to know the most difficult start when they asked:
[Serious] Redditors that have adopted 'unadoptable' animals, what's their story, and yours?
Food, Water, And Patience
He was a 10 year old black tomcat who had bounced around fosters and the shelter for two years and needed a special diet. In all that time he was available for adoption but nobody had even inquired, and he needed out of his current foster ASAP since an elderly cat owned by the people had suddenly taken a dislike to him.
We took him in and were warned that he was so terrified of people he'd likely hide under the furniture for two months before we'd see him. This seemed to be right on the money since the moment his crate was opened he zoomed under the bed and stayed there for the rest of the day and into the night. We left food and water under there and a litter tray in the corner, but there was no coaxing him out for love nor money, so we'd have to sleep with a terrified cat under us.
Then came 3am, when he decided to sit on my face and demand petting. The little guy would never have to go back to the shelter again.
It's A Package Deal
Our humane society had a "bonded pair" of beagles, who had to be adopted together. They were there for 7 months because no one wanted two at once. My husband volunteered at the shelter...I had finally convinced him we should get a dog, when he turned around and convinced me we should get two.
There's hardly any room for me in the bed at night now....
A Secret Call
I adopted a senior triple rescue beagle.
3 homes had given up on this noise nugget before me.
One week of training, and he calmed down on the howling.
The only time he does it now is when we get pizza delivered.
The driver doesn't ring our bell, or knock on our door.
Instead, he walks up to our door and yells "WOOO!"
Our dog will run to the door and "WOOO!" back at him.
When we open the door, they both WOOO at each other, and we get a pizza.
My story?
I re-homed a rescue girlfriend from a far worse household, and I don't get nearly as much credit for her as I do our dog.
Love Built On A Lie
I got a German Shepard mix that had clearly had a rough time. The shelter lied to me and told me the wrong age, that she was a different breed bc of the stigma (she's clearly a Shepard), and she came with the kind of mange you get from living somewhere filthy. She did not know a single command, and barely knew her name.
She has never been aggressive, but she does have separation anxiety and a fear of strangers, especially men. When I first got her if I ever left and came back she would cling onto me and cry for several minutes. Also, if I ever raised my voice she would submissive pee and hide.
It took a lot of work to get her to trust me, to listen to me, and to teach her basic commands. It really made me be patient bc if I ever got frustrated teaching her sit she would hear it in my voice and run and hide in her crate.
I've almost had her for a year now and I can easily say she's bettered my life. We still have some things to get over, like the fear of guys, but we're working on it.
Sometimes, You Just Need The Right Fit
I love a--hole cats. Our orange fluff was at the shelter for 6 years and was adopted out and returned no less than 4 times. We've had him a full year plus now and he's just the most precious creature. An absolute hell cat, yes, but also sweet and super adorable. His most recent habit is sleeping under the covers with his head stuck out like a human. Freaking cute.
Partnered Up With Other Pets
I adopted my second rescue dog when he was 8 months. The shelter lady kept asking if I am sure I wanted to take him it turns out he was brought back once from a previous family because of his nervousness. He did start to get along with my first dog and my cat took him in as one of her own. It took him awhile to get used to people, he was very shy/scared for awhile but eventually he has become a very loving boy.
Just A Little Bit Of Work
I brought home a black and tan terribly abused Doberman. She was full grown and only 32 lbs. She was a bag of bones and heartworm positive on top of it. Truthfully I wasn't sure she would live. I hand fed her and worked with her until she was strong enough to be treated for the heartworms.
Today at 75 lbs she is the sweetest most intelligent dog I have ever met.
Called Out To A Dream
I have a deaf, albino cat named Ophelia that was found half-drowned at a local lake. We have a pretty large community into superstitions involving animal abuse... Amish, Santeria, stupid kids in gangs... Reading can kind of suck.
Anyhow, I had a few dreams about a white cat named Ophelia- on my 35th birthday (years later) I typed the name Ophelia in the local shelter website.
My husband and I have a tiny animal sanctuary, so we were given the okay to adopt her- they had her listed as 'Special needs.
She is an absolute sweetheart- we nicknamed her "Little Biscuits" since kneading is her favorite hobby.
The Kitty Just Knows
Answered an email from an email group about a kitty who kept showing up at a neighbor's door. She wasn't wanted and seemed hungry.
Thought I'd go pick her up and atleast take her to the vet and then the shelter. She walked right into her kitty carrier and I carried her to my car, where I let her roam free on the drive home.
Once I got home she rolled down the window by standing on the button and let herself out. She went to roll around the grass and when I picked her up to bring her inside I knew immediately she was pregnant.
Come to find out she had a cold, was pregnant, and was only 8 months old! I got her fixed and she's the best kitty ever. She can high five, shake, double high five, and even comes to me when I whistle.
Time To Grow Together
Me and my family fostered dogs 9 times and the last one we ended up adopting after half a day. We suspect she was abused verbally and physically. She was so extremely scared of men for probably 2 years, i think we have had her for a little over 2 years and shes not that scared anymore.
Being around my dad and brother was bad, she eventually loved and adored my dad quickly tho but any quick sudden movements and noises scared the bejesus out of her. My dad has a friend who is 6'7 i think and she was scared out of her mind when she met him but she loves him now. Shes such a cutie and she is so playful and adorable
A Home For Splinter
When I was a kid I took a pet rat from a friend who's mom didn't want it in their house anymore. A lot of people hate rats but he was an awesome pet. They're smart and friendly and surprisingly trainable. I was a weird lonely kid back then and he got me through a rough time. I still miss the little dude. RIP.
A Lifesaver Both Ways
this will 100% get buried, but means so much to me. in 2015 i was in the worst place of my life, but didn't realize it at the time. i was suicidal, commuting over an hour to work (one way), living at home with my parents. i had no friends. i missed a concert of my favorite musician in the world, just because i had nobody to go with.
so i started looking online at dogs. and as somebody who said they hated chihuahuas, and would never get one, i saw her. she was 10, code red at a shelter. has congestive heart failure, pancreatitis, partially blind and partially deaf. chihuahua, obviously.
she had been adopted once - and the woman ended up dying. returned. nobody wanted her. and she saved my life when i rescued her. i am in such a better place now, and when her pancreatitis flared up (didn't know what it was, legitimately thought she was dying) i really thought my world would end when i lost her.btw,
she's still alive, sassier than ever. only eats out of a bowl if you let her stand in your lap and hold it for her. doesn't walk well on anything but carpet. falls. a LOT. has about 2 teeth left. and i still adore her.
Best. Name. Ever.
I adopted a little calico cat from a high volume yes-kill LA shelter. They warned me that a family already adopted her and returned her to the shelter due to biting and scratching attacks. She was sweet and desperate for attention at first, once running up my back to my shoulder as I tried to leave her quarantine room. Normally she'd purr and rub you, but occasionally would launch into unrelenting hard attack mode.
Tough mechanic hands, patience, learning and avoiding her triggers, and building trust with her diminished them to almost nothing by about 2 weeks in her forever home with a cat buddy. Now she's a happy friendly house cat.
Just A Really Ugly Pup
A mangy, hideous old pup sitting in a cement shelter corner. We asked the shelter rep about the poor dude. Looked like he was at death's door. Shaking, not looking around much. Big bulgy eyes. Probably an old dog abandoned by sh-t owners, left to die sad and scared.
Well, turns out, he was just ugly as f-ck. Little man was only about a year old, probably much younger, and he was terrified of all the shelter noises.
We take him out to meet him, and he's an absolute soul. Wants to play, sits with us, totally the coolest guy. Everyone was fast friends with him.
Adoption papers done fast as light. Take him home and it's like he had missed the place, despite never having seen it. He was running all over, rolling around on the carpet. Made a happy mess for us, honestly. That night, when he calmed down, he slept on my bed and didn't make a peep. In the morning he nipped my ear and ran off to start his day.
He did this every night and morning until I moved out. He still does when I come home.
Eight years on, he's as playful and ugly and perfect as ever. I'm not home often, but I visit, and he's always peeking out through the blinds when I park.
He's got a little wit to him, too. He's probably part terrier. Gets into anything, and he'll steal your socks if you don't pay him heed when he's being cute. We called him Watson.
edit PIC: the day we got him (after a bath and a cursory groom), before he was named
Do you have an adopted pet that came from a bad upbringing? Tell us all about it!
- Defining an Adoptable Animal ›
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- www.unadoptable.org | Perfectly Imperfect Cats in the Pacific ... ›
- ASPCA opens behavioral center to rehab 'unadoptable' dogs ›
- Unadoptable Dog Gets Adopted – Humane Society of NW Montana ›
The internet is so fascinating.
And messy.
Thanks to YouTube and TikTok, so many hours can be spent lost in the world of video.
You pick a simple topic or name to check, and then it's tomorrow... and you've binged every army family reunion story.
And so much time to waste, depending on your keystroke choices.
Redditor imboredaa wanted to discuss all the ways so many of us get lost watching things on the internet, so they asked:
"What are some of the craziest/strangest rabbit holes you’ve ever been down?"
I constantly get lost on talent show audition rabbit holes.
And I am proud!
Restored
"YouTube videos of old chainsaw restorations. No idea why, but I guess that’s why it’s a rabbit hole. I don’t even own a chainsaw or have a need for one."
aretelio
'rooms/shared'
"I really enjoy going on a city’s Craigslist, then to 'rooms/shared' (or whatever it is for finding a room mate) and then typing words like 'warning' or 'beware' in the search to see what kind of horror show nightmare room mate scenarios people have decided to write about... it's usually some juicy headline like 'warning!!!'"
"Do NOT rent from this woman!!!! She is a PSYCHO!!….'"
"And after reading it, it’s always a guess to decide who is the actual crazy person, the landlord or tenant. Could be a bitter ex, tenant, or a scam, or whatever. But it’s an easy way to dive quick into some weird corners of the internet that are filled with drama."
After the Ice
"I spent a bunch of time about 12 years or so ago reading about all the details of the Titanic, how it sunk, what happened as it was sinking, who died, who survived. I got into the life stories of the people who died, and what became of the people who survived. And then I very nearly bought a piece of carpet from the Titanic."
SweetCosmicPope
Expeditions
"Andrée's Arctic balloon expedition"
"Dumb, then numb, a** thought he could fly a balloon to the North Pole. They had cyanide capsules and all, in case they crashed and were about to freeze to death. Or get eaten by a polar bear during a three month night. He and his assistants somehow managed to do both."
"Plot twist: Andree, the worst captain of all time, noticed the balloon was leaking the night before they were about to leave, pumped it up a bit, and said 'f**k it that'll do.' It did not do."
Needydadthrowaway
Thanks John
"An Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. Started with 1 and ended up with a 20+ collection."
originalsanitizer
"Uncle John's Bathroom Readers are so addictive."
evanman69
Toilet time can be knowledge time.
Living Sky High
"Turning old planes into houses! About 10 years ago I found a company that would do it for you. The wings were decks and the plane was mounted to a pedestal that allowed it to be rotate with the sun!"
BeeEyeAm
Doggerland
"Mega tsunamis. Thousand foot walls of water moving at hundreds of mph? It happens more than you would think. The Azore-Gibraltar fault will cause one one day. There evidence they happened a few times in the Pacific. It doesn't take a meteor to happen, it could be an underwater landslide (Doggerland), or a large section of a volcanic island shearing off and falling into the ocean (Oahu). Doggerland is another rabbit hole that is worth googling."
KD_Burner_Account133
Hitting the Keys
"Mechanical keyboards. I wanted to buy one, so I started researching and watching videos of reviews. I went deeper and deeper, seeing special cables, obscure companies, the tons of switches, etc etc."
"I stopped when a Youtuber I watched made a video asking her viewers and discord users to stop bullying and harassing her for using some kind of switches or keycaps. I bought my keyboard and never went back to that crazy fandom."
NirvanaForce
In the Sky
"I worked in administration at an aviation academy for a few years and decided I’d start listening to aviation podcasts since I didn’t know much about it. I came across a plane crash podcast that talks about crashes in history and how it improved the safety of flying."
"I was fascinated by it, and found myself gradually needing to know more and listening to more of the same type of podcasts, watching videos, and listening to black box recordings. It was eerie but interesting at the time. Now, I regret it tremendously because since then I’ve developed horrible anxiety when flying."
contagiousphrase
The Big Questions
"Spent a lot of time in the 'quantum consciousness' rabbit hole. I had just deconstructed from religion and wanted answers about life, death, and reality. It was long before I made peace with not knowing. I spent around a year obsessed with quantum experiments, psychedelics, and the general philosophy of consciousness."
excusetheblood
Lives (and chores) can be put on serious hold when you find a juicy enough topic to research!
Well, what rabbit holes have you gotten lost in? Let us know in the comments below.
CW: Graphic imagery and accidents.
No one leaves this life without scars.
We witness so many awful things on a daily basis.
How could we not be followed by it all?
Messed up things are just part of the deal of living I guess.
One minute you're walking along on a bright sunny day, then boom, you're a witness to a murder.
Or some such craziness.
That's why I stay home a lot.
Redditor Who_Did_You_Expect1 wanted to hear about the things from our memories that still haunt our nightmares, so they asked:
"What's the most f--ked up thing you saw that still haunts you to this day?"
Living through peril is unimaginable. I've been luckier than most.
Tragic
"I watched cancer kill my baby brother. He was in grade school when I was in college. 25 years, and I still see it in my dreams."
TheDigitalRanger
Ay Dios mio, Dios mio!
"When I was about 8, my sister and I were walking with my mom to a bus stop to see my grandma in Mexico city. There was a lady on a bike crossing the intersection that we had just crossed ourselves but she didn't stop in time to the next one and didn't look both ways, she didn't have time to stop her bike. All I remember is the lady making the beginning of a scream as a white old muscle car ran over her (bike and all) at a high speed."
" remember the sound it made as it broke everywhere. My mother took her sweater off as she screamed and covered both my sister's and my head from looking, but it was too late. I remember looking at my sister with tears in her eyes, and I was too shocked to react or comprehend what I had just seen happened. A lot of people immediately surrounded the place, and the driver came out of his car and held his head with his hands after seeing the lady on the pavement."
"I didn't look at the lady anymore. I remember hearing people screaming in shock. My mother told my dad later as she cried. I remember hearing her wake up screaming for weeks after this saying: ay Dios mio, Dios mio! Still makes my heart race when I think about it."
amahied
I Quit
"I was a news photographer for a while in the 90’s. I got called out to an accident. A high school girl ran into the back of a semi. As I was shooting, I noticed her wallet was on the ground. It had a plastic picture holder and the wind was flipping back and forth. I saw her prom pictures and shots of her with her family."
"I quit being a news photographer shortly after. I never forgot that day, and it still haunts me."
No_Confusion4720
Images
"I saw the aftermath rather than the actual event. A woman was walking home from the grocery store late at night. She crossed the road without using the crosswalks and got hit by an SUV. The two images cemented in my mind are of her, embedded in the windshield, and the driver of the car standing a little ways down the street vomiting. I've never seen someone look so utterly broken as the way the driver looked. I can't imagine what he was going through."
GrowlyBear2
Everyday
"When I was 16 I was in a car wreck with my best friend since 3rd grade. I pulled him from the car with a broken shoulder while he was bloody, lifeless, limp. He died within the hour, not long after the ambulance got us. It’s been 18 years and I still think about it every single day."
oil_can_guster
I couldn't imagine living with that.
I also couldn't move...
"Coming to after getting hit by a vehicle as a pedestrian. Was face down, all I could see was blood soaked road and thought 'f**k, that doesn't look good.' I also couldn't move. The last thing I remember seeing before that was the grill of the vehicle. I still get jumpy when I catch a vehicles grill out of the corner of my eye and I'm not expecting it to be there."
"I'd seen a lot of accidents prior to that, but something about it being my own blood hit different."
"And yes, I had the right of way and was crossing in the proper place, at the proper time. Driver plain a** wasn't paying attention. It was daylight to boot, so no reason they couldn't see me."
Sweet_Force1478
Bad Dreams
"I was volunteering with my k9 working with NYC emergency services and chief Patell during 911 WTC attacks. We were in the middle of where the twin towers used to stand The thick gray dust, horrible smell of burnt things and dead people was all around but when the dogs started to find bodies and body parts it really freaked me out and I will forever live with this reality that seems like a bad dream."
DjCanicus
Missing
"A family of four that had burned in a plane crash. I used to do a woodland search and rescue, and we saw a lot of wild crap, but I still have dreams about what I saw when we went to look for a missing plane."
JalenTargaryen
Goodness life is dark sometimes.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Let's just be honest: the dating scene can be rough, especially when you're not sure if that person likes you back or not.
Some people, however, are very comfortable with their dating histories and believe there's a certain "cheat code" to confirming if someone is interested.
But for those of us who have always been bad at flirting and consider ourselves "oblivious" to other people's advances and compliments, maybe there could be some hope for us after all with these tips.
Redditor Independent_Slide932 asked:
"What are signs that there's sexual tension between you and someone?"
Their Undivided Attention
"It's serious eye contact for me, like when they would rather admire you than look anywhere else. It just makes it so obvious."
- GoGoHesHere
Butterflies
"For me, it's not just the eye contact itself, but when the eye contact is made, the two of you are in your own little world. There’s communication happening in that eye contact that you aren’t having with other people."
- la_metisse
The Thrill of the 'Chase'
"To answer the actual question OP asked, it’s finding reasons for eye contact."
"It’s 'accidentally' making physical contact. It’s always ending up sitting next to each other in a group."
"It’s a tingly tight feeling in your guts."
"It’s a beautiful pain to experience. It’s almost more fun than actually 'getting' the other person."
- AllAfterIncinerators
Literal Physical Attraction
"Angling. Always feeling like your center of gravity is shifting towards them."
- thelibrariangirl
Interested or Not?
"There's a regular who comes into my work who makes serious serious 'seductive' eye contact with me and has a smile that looks flirty."
"But he's also hot as f**k. He's just incredibly attractive. So like, just because it's making me turn to jelly doesn't mean it's anything other than just being friendly and having a regular smile to him."
- MangoMambo
It is, Indeed, ...Tense
"It's that awkward, 'I want to f**k this person, and I'm pretty sure this person wants to f**k me, but I'm not sure enough about it to actually make a move.'"
"That's sexual tension."
- Grueaux
Sounds Awkward
"It can manifest in a lot of ways. Usually, sexual tension develops when two people are attracted to somewhat attracted to each other. The funny part is, sometimes they aren't even fully conscious of it, or want to acknowledge it."
"That is where the tension lies. There is a reason why both are not participating in healthily acknowledging attraction for each other. It can look like tense awkwardness, constant fighting, overt flirtatiousness without any progression, and even consciously ignoring/avoiding the other person."
- EimiCiel
Silent Communication
"It's a shared gaze that at once leaves you both relaxed and on edge. It's like being old friends with a stranger."
"It's like an inside joke that isn't funny, it's sexy. I mean, it could be funny or sexy, but you see what I mean, it's a common understanding."
"It's like, 'You've got a secret, and I know it, and I've got a secret, and you know it, and the secret is the same thing, and we both know it, and it's so f**king delicious that we both know that without discussing it. The secret is nothing and everything, it's the knowing and sharing and the edging that is wonderful."
"It is something that is involuntary, but also once you've experienced it (enough), you can put yourself in that mode, make eye contact with a sexy stranger, and they may respond positively. It won't be as good as spontaneous mutual attraction, but you can put the signals out, 'Hey, I dig you, are you interested?'"
"Some people that you have that intense mutual attraction for aren't the right one(s) for you, except that they are the right ones to practice making that connection with. The person who is perfect for you might be someone who grows into the right emotional responses... and that's true of you, for them, as well."
"And lastly, you can choose to ignore both the mutual and asserted versions; the right relationship choices are both an emotional and intellectual decision, don't rely on one exclusively."
- im_dead_sirius
A List of Obvious Signals
"Reading signals is tough, I’m glad I don’t have to date these days."
"But some legit signals I’ve learned, in no particular order:"
"Prolonged or suggestive eye contact."
"Body positioning mirrors yours or stands closer than typical in your culture."
"Playing with hair when you interact."
"Light unconscious brushing up against or touching."
"If seated, leaning forward towards you frequently and/or touching you hand in a friendly way."
"Flushed or light blushing when they interact with you but not others."
"Suggestive teasing."
"Excessive awkwardness that isn’t the case with them around other people. Especially if they straight up start babbling like a loon."
"Awkward silences you could cut with a knife but they still keep seeking you out."
- AndrogynousRain
When Someone Gets It Wrong
"It’s hard to explain. Basically, it’s a nervous, delicious breathless feeling when they are close to you. You both go out of your way to stand just a little bit closer to each other."
"The sad thing is, some people think they 'feel' this with someone just because the other person is being friendly and misread signals. I once had a guy insist that we had sexual tension simply because I twisted my hair."
"He told me that twisting my hair was a 'mating signal.'"
"I told him that I had been twisting my hair has been a nervous habit of mine since I was a toddler, but of course, he wanted to believe I was interested and insisted that I must secretly want him."
- Joygernaut
Obvious to Other People First
"When other people pick up on it."
- The_She_Ghost
Responding to Looks
"When they suddenly look and hold eye contact and then look away. (Low)"
"When they look and notice you're looking then they run their hand through their hair. (Medium)"
"When they notice you looking and suddenly gently bite their lip looking away. (High)"
"When they notice you’re looking and do something to draw attention to their body either stretch and reveal skin or adjust an intimate part of their clothing. (Extreme)"
"Each of the above will make you get butterflies as you know that she knows AND that she knows that you know."
- DragonofDojima_
Trying to Keep the Conversation Going
"When there's a lull in the conversation, and eye contact is maintained while you both are trying to figure out what to say next."
- djpack
Looking But Not Looking
"Catching glances, by either party. The kind where they’re looking at you and don’t think you’ll look up or at them. Then suddenly the ceiling is really interesting to them when you make eye contact."
- HuxEffect
The Classic Note Trick
"When they hand you a piece of paper that says:"
"'Do you think that there is sexual tension between us?'"
"'[ ] Yes or [ ] No'"
- xaradevir
While we'd all love for the dating scene and general flirting to be straight-forward, simple, and stress-free, this thread serves as a reminder that it comes easily for some while being a puzzle for others.
At the end of the day, if you're interested in someone, the easiest thing to do, though it's terrifying, might be to ask them.
Anyone with any amount of dating experience knows at least a few things that they love in a relationship and a few things they find unsavory.
Just like discovering our boundaries and what qualifies as a relationship deal breaker, most of us generally have a few rules that we tend to live by in every relationship, whether it's romantic, platonic, or professional.
Curious to learn some rules to live by, Redditor aytmamatov_musa asked:
"What relationship rule have you memorized forever?"
Actions Speak Louder than Words
"I can't remember the exact wording, but something to the effect of: Pay more attention to how invested your partner is in the relationship, not how much they say they are."
- why_im_single
Know Who Holds the Power
"I remember when I first realized that the person who has the most control in a relationship (especially ending it) is the person that cares about the relationship the least."
"When I thought of all the relationships that I had been in (not just sexual) and how one person decided sometimes months ahead of time that the relationship was over, I remember how oblivious the other person was when it ended."
"By the way, this can also be applied to employment relationships as well."
- Mo_Jack
Don't Fight for Someone's Attention
"If someone does not want to hear you, there is no way you can phrase anything to make them listen."
"This applies to all types of relationships, but I learned it from trying so hard to have a healthy relationship with my mother. Then when I left at 25, she responded by filing a missing person's report, hiring a PI (Personal Investigator), harassing my friends, and hacking my email and bank accounts to monitor my activity."
"This also ties into: abusers see you taking away their ability to abuse you, as an egregious theft of their rightful property."
- CurrentSingleStatus
Be a United Front
"Problems aren’t You vs Me. They’re Us vs The Problem."
- FilecakeAbroad
No Codependent Relationships Here
"You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped."
- Diesel07012012
Be Honest About Your Feelings
"Listen to how you describe your partner to friends, or how you think at the moment how you're describing your partner to them. That will tell you a lot about how you feel about them."
"If you're nervous about introducing them, listen to why. If you're apologizing for their actions, pausing to reframe positive ways to speak about them, or ignoring the red flags, then listen to that instinct. If you're constantly talking about the problems or hiding them, pay attention to why."
"I remember being in one relationship and having those feelings of, 'Should I introduce her to the family, when I talk to others about her, I'm exhausted from some argument, etc.'"
"I remember another relationship, thinking, 'Oh, I would love her to meet the family, she'd get along with everyone's kids, my friends would love her, I just had this great moment with her, and I wanted to tell people about it, I enjoy talking about her.'"
"When you experience that difference (and you have the wisdom and experience to know you're not being deluded by things like abuse or newness or getting caught up in a big fire that's going to burn out fast), it tells you so much."
- ConvenienceStoreDiet
Be Mindful of Reciprocation
"Something a friend of mine once told me was, 'Always ask yourself if this relationship isn't taking more from you than it is giving you.'"
"It saved me a lot of heartbreak."
- Interferonno2fan
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
"If they don’t respect your boundaries while dating, they won’t respect them in marriage."
- Rachel1578
Cheaters Gonna Cheat
"My best mate got with a woman who cheated on her then-boyfriend to be with him. Then my mate and she stayed together for four years, but she ended up cheating on him with another guy that she is now dating."
"I warned him in the beginning and advised him not to get into a relationship with her to start with. If she can do it with one guy, she can do it with another."
"His argument was that her then-boyfriend was not good enough for her which was why she is cheating on him. But what he failed to realize was that no one is the best in the world, and if she decides that he isn’t good enough for her in the future, then she will cheat on him too. And that is exactly what happened."
- dp9116
Acknowledge Red Flags
"Red flags look like normal flags when wearing rose-colored glasses."
- Mezame_Drgn
Common Interests Aren't Everything
"Having a lot in common doesn’t equal a good relationship. It’s just a decent starting foundation."
- ironicallyunstable
Don't Go to Bedroom Angry - Or Do?
"I wouldn't say forever, yet, but since becoming a wife, I have learned that it's okay to sleep off a fight. Don't have to 'resolve' everything right then and there. Give each other space to let steam off and talk in the morning."
- beanedjibe
Be Loved for Who You Are
"Do not change your personality if you don't want to... I didn't realize until the breakup, that my ex did not like me, just the idea of what I could be..."
- Bethedr
Know the Difference
"When an argument comes out of nowhere, ask 'Are you yelling at me, or to me?'"
"It's helped with a lot of arguments. Sometimes we just need a backboard to scream at, and nine out of ten times, that backboard is your significant other."
"A lot of arguments get bad just because they don't know you are releasing anger, which is healthy in the right way."
- spenser1994
Some of these seem pretty simple, but they can make a huge impact in a relationship, if not also to the trajectory and health of a person's life. By understanding our own worth and how it's valued by others, we gave give ourselves a much happier ever after than we might have otherwise settled for.