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Uber Drivers Admit The Weirdest Passengers They’ve Ever Had To Deal With

Uber Drivers Admit The Weirdest Passengers They’ve Ever Had To Deal With

Uber Drivers Admit The Weirdest Passengers They’ve Ever Had To Deal With

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Bless the Uber and Lyft drivers of the world. Many don't know what they're signing up for when they go and pick up a bachelorette party at 3am just as the club gets out. Like bartenders before them, they are the new psychiatrists of the world, and they're ready to dish on their crazy fares. Reddit user, r/neccoguy21, posed the following question and got some fascinating stories in return:

Uber and Lyft drivers, what's your most NSFW story?

1. What Did Bambi Ever Do To You?

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I had a passenger roll down the window and scream "SUCK MY F_*_ING DICK" at a deer. She said she really didn't like deer. Theweiserwill

2. At Least They're Being Honest?

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I don't drive for either of those companies but I had a pretty bizarre fare once. I picked up a guy and a girl midday Saturday for a short ride (couple of km). The girl seemed out of or her mind and was wearing somewhat revealing clothing, so it was pretty clear they'd been partying the night before. While driving I picked up their conversation which they were not even attempting to hide. It was pretty clear that the guy had a girlfriend who was not the girl in the car and that he had just hooked up with this girl. They were currently heading to his girlfriend to explain what had happened. To be clear, he is bringing the girl he was unfaithful with along to explain to his girlfriend that he just f_*_ed her.

He tipped well though. Dawnyell

3. Frozen Horror

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Some friends and I ubered back later night after a party. Being intoxicated AF, my friends sitting next to me started to heave, so I, work my quick thinking, opened the window pushed him to puke outside, in the freezing February air. He did his duty and we were all thankful that he decided to puke outside. Eventually, we arrive by my house and get out. I look on the outside of the car and the puke had FROZEN all along the outside of the car by the window. The side of the car was covered in puke. We spent an hour helping the poor Uber driver clean it, by throwing hot water fr inside the house and someone quickly scrubbing. slool4

5. He Is A Party Dude, After All

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Well, there was the guy who proceeded to get butt naked in my backseat (while piss drunk) and change into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume...

It was Michaelangelo, for the record. BernieEffingSanders

6. All In The Family

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Not an Uber/Lyft driver, but I did drive for a taxi company. I had a fare where two drunk people who were making out in the back of my cab. This isn't unusual on it's own, happens quite often, just gotta stop them before s* gets out of hand.

Well, one of them decides to stop making out and says to me" Don't tell anyone, okay?". Curious, I ask why, he responds "we are cousins and we don't want our family to find out"...then they went back to making out again. I didn't once think they could have possibly been cousins, never saw either people before or after. Could have just kept his mouth shut and I'd never have known, Why would you disclose that information to a stranger? Kootsiak

8. Way To Get It, Dad

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So my dad is an uber driver and he says that girls my age (I'm in my early twenties) will drunkenly try to make him go home with them all the time. One time there were three girls who drunkenly were singing to Taylor swift and they made my dad record them singing the song and then they made him sing some of the lyrics. He showed me the clip of them singing and him singing later it was hysterical. Then they invited him to go to the next bar with them but he had to keep working. jennydancingaway

9. That Shouldn't Go There

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I picked up a client who said he was on his way to the hospital to get "something" removed. It was very clear by his movements that he had something stuck in his a**. I asked if he needed an ambulance instead but he said he didn't have insurance so he couldn't afford it. After I dropped him off and helped him in. jhaddock

11. High School Graduates Suck. Who Knew?

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Picked up a handful of drunk high school kids at 2 am, they just finished their graduation party and they were hammered. One of them threw up in the back, we had to stop on the side of the highway for him to get everything out of his system, he went behind the bush and did a number 2, but he didn't have any tissue... JayC-Hoster

12. At Least They're Prepared?

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Picked up this very tall and somewhat muscular looking black girl carrying what looks like a tackle box. She was dressed somewhat.. risque. Gets in the car and I said hello, she responds with a pretty deep voice. We started the trip and she was telling me that she was on her way to do makeup for one of her friends, and her phone rang.

Hmmm. Alright then. Where's this going? "No, Derek is super sweet, it'll be fun I promise." "No girl, he's just gonna come through the doors..." "Yes I'll be there. I'll be outside the doors as one of the topless guards.

And that's the story of the person planning their porno during an Uber ride....

13. Classy...

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Just a group of college freshman girls being super racist as I drove through the "ghetto" on the way to their house party.

14. Take The Shortcut

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One time, I was in a Lyft during a blizzard. We arrive at a couple of lanes divided by one of those flat concrete medians. Both lanes are gridlocked. Lyft driver goes "Watch this!" and drives up the f*ing median while the cars on both sides honk furiously. I protest, and he brags that he is a "big man in the city" and the cops won't touch him. Anyway, it's not an erotic story, but I'd say it was definitely not safe for anyone involved. CeruleanTresses

15. Don't Jump To Conclusions

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One driver told me that one time this guy got in his uber without putting in the destination. This guy was in his mid 40s, wearing an all black suit and wearing sunglasses. Didn't take them off. He also had a briefcase that he put on his lap.

Anyway so he sits in the car and points forwards. So the driver takes off. They didn't speak the entire journey. It was about 40 minutes. To tell the driver where to go the passenger just pointed left or right.

Anyway, the driver tells me that he was s_*_ting himself the entire time and genuinely thought he was going to die, but was too scared to stop.

So finally they pull over at this really big old house that he described as "the most mafia looking house I've ever f_*_ing seen".

The guy takes off his glasses, looks at the driver and says "th- th- th- thank y- you v- very m- m- much"

turned out he just had a really big stutter and nothing else. flintmichigantropics

16. At Least They Know

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A couple of clients I once had entered the car convinced they were straight, and left 25 minutes later realising they were gay for each other. To be fair they were fairly drunk at the time. PM-ME-YOUR-HAMSTER

17. We All Remember Dave

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Wasn't really NSFW but on my second day doing Uber one of the clients was on house arrest, Dave.

Dave was a cool guy.

He wanted me to buy him some wine and smokes from the gas station, He even trusted me with his card+pin. When I get back i decide to just have a smoke with him. That turns into us doing tai chi in his backyard at 2am. Really cool dude Dave was.

Hope he turned his life around. rasmfrasmspasm

18. Suddenly, The City Was Part Of The Party

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Picked up a group of young ladies during a bachelorette party. The bride to be sits in the front and while driving to their destination, she rolls down the window and whips out a giant phallus for all of downtown to Chicago to see. monkeydlouis

19. Some Say They Never Returned

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To make conversation I always ask my uber driver if they have any horror stories. One guy told me that he picked up this couple in all black clothes and he admitted he felt a little creeped out by them. It was the middle of the night and they had asked to be dropped off at a cemetery. He thinks perhaps they live across the road or something and tries/fails to make conversation with them. He drops them off, looks at his phone, then looks back and they are no where to be seen, disappeared. He stayed for a few minutes looking to see if they would pop up anywhere but they never did. Freaked him out big time. WhatPajamas

20. And The Winner Is...

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I got the ping around 4:30am. When I get to the address, I see this girl who looks startlingly like the actress that plays Ginny Weasley standing in the middle of the street waving, so I stop. Yup, she's my passenger... and she is so drunk. And carrying an enormous glass full of red wine. She asked if she could bring the wine in the car, I told her no because we'd both be arrested, she said okay, then I'll chug it. And she did.

Okay... so she gets in my car and I drive her maybe six blocks away to a friend's place. Her friend hands her a grocery bag of miscellaneous s*, she tells me to drive her home... or... wait... ugh I don't wanna go home, just drive around until I figure out where I want to go. Sure, free money, I start driving circles while she drunkenly calls everyone in her phone. Unsurprisingly, no one answers, and she really doesn't want to go home, so we just keep going in circles. I've reminded her at least three times that this is costing her money, I have no problem with it but are you absolutely sure? Yeah no problem, money doesn't matter right now.

The conversation is one of the more hilarious and utterly WEIRD I've experienced. Of course she's so drunk that her speech is entirely slurred and I can't make a lot of it out, but I get enough to know that she's not only drunk, but she's on the longest bender of her life - currently day 8. She was recently fired from her job at a marijuana dispensary and is in the process of suing them for wrongful termination, her dad committed suicide when she was 4, she had like three friends die in various ways within the past few years, something about being in AA but falling off the wagon, her mom is SO RICH but doesn't want to give her second house to her own daughter WTF, she never wants to marry because she has yet to meet a dude who is not a horrible person (but she happily has sex with pretty much all of them), has been pregnant twice and contracted who knows how many STIs, really wants to work in forensics someday and start her own business, on and on and on! I don't mind listening, it's like having a prime time drama show unfold in my backseat that I'm getting paid to watch.

Around 5:45, after over an hour of driving, she said that there's a bar she knows that opens at 7am. If I'm okay with driving aimlessly until then (I assured her that I am!) I can take her there. So another hour and fifteen minutes of wandering later, I drop her off at the bar. She thanked me profusely, called me boo, and told me to have a good life.

And to top it all off, she tipped me with an entire container of marijuana edibles. intentionalgibberish

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.