Troubled People Confess Secrets They Needed To Get Off Their Chest
Reddit has a forum called "Off My Chest" which exists for "to unload that baggage that's been weighing you down for days, weeks, months, or years. This is to relieve the pit in your stomach that won't go away, not for the angry rant you could spew at anyone. When you need to make a post for yourself, not necessarily for advice, or to answer questions, but to get it off your chest, we'll be here to listen and, if you want, to talk."
While this is a hard place to be, it's important. Here is some of the stuff people have been courageous enough to say.
I'm a young and homeless woman living out of my car. It's super cold right now so sleeping in my car has been difficult, not to mention I'm kind of tall and my car is small so it kills my back. I got an idea to go on tinder and just Netflix and chill with people so I have somewhere to sleep at night. I can be quite the charmer I guess. So far, so good but I already know this is going to catch up to me mentally. I don't have anybody to turn to though so this will have to suffice. Thanks tinder.
We were all roommates. They didn't have enough money to pay their rent. I covered it for them, multiple times, so they ended up owing me $2000.
I said I wanted to move out because I couldn't afford to keep paying their rent. They got mad because they couldn't afford a deposit on a new apartment. I gave them $1000 for the deposit.
We are now all moved out and the old apartment's deposit check was mailed to me. Because they owe me $2000, I said I want to keep their share of the check and put it towards their debt. They insisted they need it for a deposit on a new place - apparently they spent the $1000 but couldn't tell me on what. Then they deleted me on Facebook and said they couldn't take my crap anymore.
I have done SO much for these people. In addition to the money I gave them free rides, let them use my computer, cleaned up after them, took care of them when they were wasted, and listened to so much shit about how my fiancé and I were wronging them because we weren't doormats. And in return I get this.
I am tired of being taken advantage of. I am tired of all my friendships ending like this. I'm tired of being lied to and gaslighted and treated like crap for no reason. I just want a friendship to work out for once.
I would do anything, really. I'd do anything to make you happy, and your life a little less miserable. You have no idea that every day I'm constantly thinking about how I could cheer you up a little, how I could take your mind off things, how to make you feel a bit better about yourself and how to make you laugh. Lately it's getting harder to get through to you, but I'm still trying. I will never stop trying. I just wish I were just there right with you, and you were just right here with me.
I just want a guy to take care of and take care of me. I want to feel what it's like to really love someone and be loved in return. I don't care about my career progression or making friends they're just things I do to pass the time at this point and I'm sick of it. I'm successful im pretty I have a huge circle of friends but I have this huge hole in my life. And I'm sick of the mantra that you need to be fine on your own. Bi-atch, I am fine on my own, but career and parties and nice things is just not enough. Where is he already? And when I say boyfriend I want him to become a husband.
Anxiety About Dating
There is just anxiety about it everywhere. Did I text him the wrong thing? Did I ask too many questions? Does he think I'm annoying? Is he playing me? etc... I just, I don't seem to understand how it's worthwhile to date. People say what they need to in order to get what they want out of you and it's terrifying to try and figure out who is a manipulator or not.
I Want To Be In Love
I've been alone for so long. Ever since my ex left, there's been no one. No one is even attracted enough to me to hook up. I feel so undesirable and alone.
Humans are complex. The human brain and body is complex. Human development is complex. No one truly understands it and most likely never will. So why does society always try to simplify humans when we barely know anything about ourselves? Each human is unique and most likely a pretty cool individual. Why would we create and support a society that is built on malice? Idk just wish everyone was kinder to one another. For the most part we all have enough in common to get along and live peacefully a majority of the time. Our systems, ideals, even our governments are outdated and irrelevant to the current people who inhabit earth. Hopefully things change...or maybe its just human nature.
Just a heads up- there's some mildly graphic medical things ahead.
My mom had ovarian cancer. She had been fighting it on and off for a decade, but this time it was too much. The last several months had brought a slow decline in her health and we all sort of knew her time was coming, but we weren't sure when. My fiance and I had been planning a small wedding so she could see us get married. It was planned for this upcoming Sunday (21st) but it's on hold for now. Everything is too raw and we don't feel like many people are quite up to celebrating at the moment.
Last Friday night, my older sister called us in a panic and told us we needed to get to my parents' house right away. We packed a bag as quickly as we could and drove the 2 hours to my parents' house.
The next few days were spent watching my mother struggle as her body slowly broke down and filled up with fluids. Her breathing became a shallow rattle. At first, she could still see and hear us, and could even respond but by day 3, that was gone too. We all barely slept. My dad, older sister, younger brother and a few other family members kept constant watch- listening for changes, waking up in a panic in the middle of the night, and occasionally breaking down in tears one by one. At one point, at 2 am, I held a flashlight over my mother so a nurse could insert a catheter while my mom cried in pain.
We sat with her, we held her hand, we sang and played music for her. We did our best to make her feel loved and comfortable.
There was also a constant stream of friends and family members bringing us food, giving us hugs, reassuring that what ever we needed- they would help with. It all felt very surreal.
Then, on Tuesday, my mother's hospice nurse came. The signs were all there that the end was getting close. They turned her on her side to help her clear out the fluids in her throat, and I sat and watched as my mother took her last breaths. That afternoon, I cried a lot. I held my nieces and comforted them. My fiance held me while we both cried. And then, toward the end of the night, my fiance and I got in our car and drove home. And now that I'm home, I feel nothing at all. I've cried a few times, sure, but I just feel empty. Blank. Like it never really happened. No one where we live knew my mother, so the constant outpouring of love and sympathy is no longer there and everything is quiet and distant and detached. I feel like I should be sadder. I feel like I should feel more.
I'm sorry if this is confusing to read or too ramble-y. The things I spent my weekend seeing have left me in a very weird place.
It's been a few months since you decided that she's what you wanted, and I just have a few things I want to say. I'll probably never hear from you again, so I'm gonna say them here.
I'm sorry for what happened, back in spring. I know you have no idea of what actually happened, and probably never will, but I wish I'd been able to tell you. To tell you that I didn't just ghost, didn't decide I wanted him more after all... Sweetheart, I had a miscarriage- you were the father, of course. I knew, logically, that we wouldn't have been able to keep it anyways, but there was some larger, more emotional part of me that was devastated, heartbroken, ashamed of hurting so badly. I couldn't even look at you. I was so f-cked up, and that's why I stopped trying. It took me months to find an anonymous counsellor, to talk it out. It was only after after I'd talked it out that I was ok talking to you again... You notice I started trying to fix things in August? That's why. It took me that long to be even a little bit ok. I guess it doesn't matter anyways, because, you started seeing her in July, but... I really wish I'd been able to tell you. The baby was only about 10 weeks when I lost her... I named her Rose.
Regardless, I just wish you'd known. I think you would have hated me for disappearing just a little less, maybe would have given me the time I needed. I wish I hadn't been too ashamed of my grief to tell you.
I guess it doesn't matter anymore anyways. You have her, and clearly you love her enough that she was worth more than everything we had... I'm happy for you, she must be amazing for her to be that important to you. Congrats.
Happy birthday, by the way, a few days in advance. It's a big one this year, and I hope this year is better for you than the last one. I really hope you find happiness.
Oh and one more thing- I'm not angry anymore. I understand that you were hurting, and didn't have context, and that I fucked up too... It doesn't make it hurt less though. I just miss my best friend. Somehow that's worse than when I thought I hated you. I don't know man, feelings are weird.
I guess that's all I have to say, so idk... Have a good life? Some part of me still believes we'll be friends again someday, but I'm not sure that hope is worth holding on to.
Your biggest f-ckup
I Miss My Cat
A little over a year ago I moved 800 miles away for work while my spouse and cat stayed behind.
As soon as I moved into a cat-friendly apartment, I began preparing for Franklin, my cat, to join me. I bought him a new litter box and food dishes, cat grass and a drinking fountain, a six foot cat tree and a shelf for him to sit on and look out the window, and dozen and dozens of toys. I was finally going to live with my little guy again.
I visited my husband over the recent holidays with the intent to bring Franklin back with me. However, the medication we got from his vet combined with the stress of his carrier and his bad heart meant that three days before our flight, Franklin passed away. He was only seven years old.
But I still had to come back. And I did. To an apartment without my cat, but filled with belongings I bought with him in mind.
I've never felt more isolated.
I'm trying to find the silver lining to this storm cloud and find a cat local to me who needs a home. However, between the travel, holidays and over a thousand dollars in vet bills for Franklin, I'm completely strapped. Even shelters require a few hundred to adopt.
Franklin was going to be my whole world. But now it's just empty.
About a month before my 17th birthday I was kicked out of my abusive home and into the mental health system.
I was hospitalized for 2 months before I was dumped off about 136 miles from home and out of the lives of everyone I had ever known.
I was admitted into a place that housed around 100 kids from all over with all sorts of issues. It was a co-ed campus but strict on our interactions.
A few months after settling in as well as I could I met Diamond. (Name changed) We became fast friends. She was a few months younger than my little brothers and I kind of looked at her like she was my kid sister and bestest best friend.
We struggled, we grew as people, for the most part. We had therapy, but in the short year and a half that I lived there I still acted out. We ran away together the first night it snowed too, by the way. Not our brightest moment. By spring Diamond pulled that stunt again, by that time I had moved into another cottage off campus because of my age and in prep for real life, and she was discharged.
I understand, for the most part. They were doing their jobs, but they had no idea what they had done to me. In the cottage I met her in there were 12 girls there, scared and angry who bonded, and that was just obliterated in seconds. Without an afterthought. I never thought I'd see her again. Ever. Even looked her up on the internet, nothing.
She found me today. Standing there at a buffet. She came up to me and asked if I was (my name) and if I'd lived there and I said yes and she said I was your best friend, and I just said Diamond? And yeah. There she was.
I have so much fear because I did nothing with my life. I don't want to tell her. I'm going to, but I feel Ill about it.
But I just feel so amazed. I never thought I'd see her again. I can't wait to hear about everything.
The first time we ever saw each other I was watching Twisted Sisters video "We ain't gonna take it anymore." She sat there on that couch and she looked so scared, she was only 13. So i had to talk to her.
That's what we bonded over. An old VHS tape of a few MTV videos because it made us feel sort of normal in all that chaos.
Lock Your Doors
Went to the bathroom to take my daily work sh-t, and I just walked in on a coworker letting out a huge one. I pushed open the stall, screamed "OH SH-T" and slammed the door, but the door ended up staying open. I went to the other stall and heard him get up to close it. I feel bad, but not my fault for not locking the door.
In the last few months, I've become terrified that I somehow pushed my friends away. Nobody is interested in spending time with me outside of school, and whenever I ask to do something they always have something else to do or just don't respond at all. It's been forever since I've done anything on a weekend besides go home and sulk around on stale steam games. They're only interested when I have something they want, like buying them lunch or free tickets to a car show or something. At lunch people always seem to be sick of me whenever I say something at all.
Am I being avoided? I don't know what I said or did to deserve this. I just can't figure it out anymore.
I can't survive the last few months of high school on panic attacks and anxiety, what do I do?
I Will Live In Disneyland
Worked as a cast member for Disneyland and, let me tell you, the place is filled with f-cking weirdos. Not to mention they're ridiculously overpriced and severely underpay their cast members; though most don't care because they've been brain washed into believing they're "making magic," when in reality they're just making the company a fortune.
What Do You Get When You Fall In Love?
I have learned. I allowed myself to be too vulnerable again, and it bit me in the ass. He left me, and he's doing fine while I'm completely distraught and wrecked.
He Ruined Me.
I cannot love again, it will be my greatest folly. Before him I had created a life that revolved around total solitude and self sufficiency. I have seen what the world has to offers in terms of relationships and I am no longer interested by its offers. I hope the next time love rears it's ugly head towards me I can laugh in its face. May I never love again unless it's myself, for I cannot take another blow to the heart. I hope I learn truly the joy in being totally alone and never yearn for another person in my life.Romantic love pointless flaw in human life that I want no part of.
You Matter So Much
How I wish your problems would just vanish.
You may not understand how much I care for you, as I rarely am able to show it as of late. I see how difficult life has been to you for the past few years and it hurts to see how you have changed. You used to be fun to be around, always wanting to make people laugh, a bit shy but that didn't bother you enough to not at least try. But now.. but now you don't even try the smallest of things. You stay in bed all day and when someone tries to help you get out of bed you refuse to even listen. I understand that after so many years it gets tiresome to hear the same thing over and over again, but there's only so many things we can say.
We try to understand you and in a way we do, but you keep saying we don't. Of course there are things we just possibly can not understand. We were never bullied as heavily as you were as a kid. We didn't get depressed while just starting high school. We didn't have to go through any of those shitty experiences you say. Or did we?
You are so incredibly focused on finding ways to explain why nobody understands you, that you forget in what ways Ihave changed. You don't realise that I went through a lot of the horrible things that you did too. The only difference is that I never felt like I had anybody to talk to. Nobody in our family gave me any feeling whatsoever that they wanted to talk to me about my problems. Nobody seemed to care enough about me to see what was happening to me. And there's where we differ. People do want to listen to you. People want to listen to you for too long. In my opinion, you don't even deserve it anymore. You just use people as scapegoats for all of your problems. There is actually _nothing_you can do wrong in your own mind. You can not even be the cause of the smallest problem imaginable.
I tell myself that is also where we differ, I would not blame others for my problems if only they came to talk to me about them. Let's be honest here though, I probably would not be able to resist either. So in a way I understand what you're going though, but this does not mean I will accept how your treat the people around you. How you treat people is simply wrong and should not be accepted in any way. Things need to change in your life, and I oh so dearly hope change comes sooner rather than later. You may not realise this, but your problems affect me way more than you might think.
You see, I went through depression, loneliness, suicidal thoughts, being bullied and feeling worthless, all at the same time.
I never had anyone to talk to and even though I may be doing better now, I still am not where I would like to be.
So in a way I am jealous. Jealous of how easily accessible help is for you. If I had that help I would've turned out fine. Or would I? I know it doesn't just happen in an instant but I at least would've tried it out.
It doesn't matter, I didn't get help and you did.
I'm still struggling with everything I've mentioned even though you may not notice.
The only reason why that is, is because I became better at hiding it. You don't realise the toll you have on this family, but I do.
And I do not want to add to that. We've endured enough and they deserve at least some moments of rest in their daily life.
So please, try to not think of just yourself and realise there are people who do want to help you.
Because before you know it, they won't anymore.
The jump from A levels to university is ridiculous. Lecturers are so different from teachers from high school. I'm working my arse off learning shit I won't need to use in the future only because society wants us to have higher education in order to get jobs. I've been busy since Christmas doing coursework that is due in 4 days before an exam that I know I didn't do well in. I ended up doing no revision in between because it was so frustrating to complete the coursework. Only thing I enjoy from living at university is being independent with people my age.
Revision is not going well for me at all. I need to go through 9 PowerPoints averaging 50 slides in each of them, all filled with information and that's only from one lecturer. I still have three other lecturers' PowerPoints to go through. I need to cram everything in a week.
I haven't spoken to anyone properly in person for weeks because I'm stuck in my room revising and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.
Being a university student sucks. Why can't learning at university be the same format as high school.
Never Never Land
Within less than 2 years, I will be an adult. And the truth is that I'm not ready for that. I feel like I've wasted my entire childhood and just knowing that I will never get a chance to fix it or experience the good times again hurts me. I have zero job experience and I have no idea what career path I want to follow, nor do I have any goals set and things I want to achieve in my life. I feel lost and I feel like I've let myself down.