*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

There are those who say that going through a hard or unpleasant experience is what makes you stronger, and able to live your life more happily.

But there are very few people who don't have one memory of an experience that they wish they could forget... or even wish never happened in the first place.

Redditor Lord_Lazignac was curious to learn of experiences people had which continue to traumatize them to this day, leading them to ask:

"What event in your life still f*cks with you to this day?"

Parents who still from their children.

"There was a girl next door to my grandparent’s house that I had the biggest crush on."

"Her name was Becca."

"We had known each other from the time I was really little."

"We were both coming into the ages of liking the opposite sex at the same time and we had similar troubled childhoods (Becca lived with her grandparents, too)."

"Somewhere after holding hands, but before a first kiss, Becca gave me a ring."

She ‘borrowed’ it from her grandpa and needed it back the next day."

"I was on cloud 9."

"With excitement I showed my mom the ring."

"She asked my grandparents to borrow their truck and told me to get in and make sure I brought the ring."

"I had no idea what was going on."

"We pulled up to the 'jewelry store' at Eureka and Telegraph and she asked to see the ring."

"She went inside,'no kids were allowed', and came out about 20 minutes later."

"Then, we went to Mcdonald’s."

"The first time I’d eaten anything but food pantry food in at least a year."

"She said the 'jewelry store' needed to borrow that specific ring for a few weeks to clean it up."

"I asked what I was supposed to tell Becca had happened to it, and she said to tell her that I had lost it."

"I never saw the ring again, and Becca never talked to me again."- Davidsilak

A heartbreaking moment of false hope.

"My father was in hospice dying from cancer."

"He had stopped eating and was barely communicative."

"We knew it was just a matter of days."

"Mom and I went to visit him every day for a few hours so he wouldn’t be alone."

"One morning we get a call."

"Fearing the worst I answered it- expecting them to let us know he had passed."

"My father was on the phone and he sounded well."

"He even said he was hungry and asked for breakfast!"

"He told me he was looking forward to our visit!"

"I was stunned."

"Had all these emotions and thoughts- maybe it was a miracle and he was going to beat this!"

"Hopped in the car and started driving over."

"Got another phone call, this time it was the hospice folks."

"He had just passed."

"The rollercoaster of emotions from that morning haunt me."

"I was numb for a long time."

"There was a period where I thought maybe I hallucinated and never spoke with my dad that morning."

"To put my mind at ease I met with the hospice nurse who was with my dad that morning."

"She explained this concept called terminal lucidity."

"She says it’s not uncommon at all and is usually a sign that someone will pass soon."

"That helped, but it still haunts me."- bondsman333

Losing a loved one to suicide.

"I lost a friend to suicide in autumn 2017."

"He was the first person I loved and he was also the first, and only, person to properly break my heart, which happened some years before he died."

"His mental health was always chaotic and in the months before his death l’d distanced myself because I was finding it overwhelming."

"Something I regret now but also understand I needed to do."

"I never wanted to not be his friend, I always saw a future with us in a place were we’d be old friends who could joke about him breaking my heart when I was 20."

"Our friendship never recovered to what it was without the messy love thing, but it was getting there."

"Since his death I have realized how much he influenced me to be the person I am today."

"I really miss him."

"I understand and accept his death."

"However even now this life without him feels off balance, like something went wrong with the universe."

"I had so much faith in him getting better."- CryptographerWeak873

"My brother committed suicide when I was about 12 years old."

"A few weeks after his passing, I was half asleep on the couch and heard my family talk about how he actually had cancer but took his own life as to not be a burden on the family."

"The problem is, I was only 12 and half awake when I overheard all of this, so I'm not sure whether it's even true or something my brain made up in it's semi-conscious state."

"To this day, I don't have the balls to confront my family on the topic."- dirtycommie123

Not getting there in time.

"Was a normal Friday."

"I had taken an early day to help my father with haylage."

"Earlier that morning my father brought my mother to the hospital because she was dry heaving a lot."

"When I got home the home phone rang and I picked up."

"They said it was the hospital and that they were going to transfer her to a bigger hospital because she had just had a heart attack."

"So I tell my father and he goes to the bigger hospital to fill out forms and stuff."

"3hrs later I get a call saying that they are going to airlift her to the city with the best cardiac doctors."

"So I start to pack bags for everyone."

"Then my father calls me one more time to tell me to go get my brother from his pre-prom party because moms not going to make it."

"So I'm driving like a bat outta hell trying to find my brother's party."

"Then speed all the way to the hospital praying that the cops have a huge drug bust or something."

"I get to the hospital with my brother and we see our father outside the room crying."

"My father is an emotional man when it comes to death."

"I have never seen him cry so much."

"I look to my right and there's 7 people in my mother's room."

"Doctors nurses the helicopter crew that was going to transfer her."

"It was about 45 minutes it felt like and they said there was nothing else they could do."

"My mother died that day without a warning."- Puzzleheaded_Cap174

Never getting to repay generosity

"A friend in HS loaned me 200 dollars right before we graduated."

"We lost contact and I still often wake up in the middle of the night wishing I could have the opportunity to pay him back."

"I'm 50 this year."- Genbu7

Lack of consequences

"My mom was hit and killed by a driver on her morning walk."

"My dad stood right next to her and was almost hit himself."

"It happened in a public park in an unmarked crosswalk."

"The guy never got out of his truck to help as my mom bled out."

"My dad watched the whole thing."

"They were married for 45 yrs."

"I can’t ever get the call from my dad out of my head."

"He called me while on the scene to tell me mom was dead."

"The guy that hit her never received even a ticket."

"He got off Scott free because the DA ruled it an accident."

"Even witnesses at the scene said he failed to yield."

"My mom was killed within two steps of the curb."

"Literally one second later she’d have been ok."

"The dude hit her in the shoulder."

"Even the police stated this."

"He broke laws and faced no consequences."

"My dad is a shell of himself."- thecazbah

Car accidents

"When I was 16 I was on my way to take my SAT on a Saturday morning."

"I pulled up to a 4-way stop on a quiet street and looked both directions."

"Glanced to my right and saw a car way down the road, didn’t look for more than a second and thought I was good, since he had to stop at his stop sign."

"I enter the intersection and look to my right again and the car is already at the intersection."

"He was going 55mph on a 25mph road."

"He was not stopping."

"Time slowed down as I realized 'oh he’s about to t-bone the side of my tiny pickup truck."

"So I look away from the window to keep my face safe from any potential flying shards of glass, I white-knuckle grip the wheel and just hope for the best."

"He flipped my truck, I rolled onto my side and nail a telephone pole with the top of my truck."

​"As I’m laying there on my side I’m feeling all over my body just expecting to be badly hurt and just in shock but amazingly, my worst injury is a scraped elbow."

"This was nearly 10 years ago and even today I drive like a grandma when it comes to intersections."

"I’ll wait an extra few seconds every time if I feel like a car is approaching too quickly."

"There have been times where a car is coming up quick and my heart rate will skyrocket because I think I’m about to get hit again."

"I have never trusted another driver ever since that day and being that defensive has never steered me wrong."

"On the bright side, the guy who hit me immediately called the police, then shoved his shirt through a crack in my door so I could cover myself while the cop broke the window and pulled me out."

"He broke several bones, admitted fault to the police the second they got there and personally apologized to my hysterical mother any myself multiple times."

"As sh*tty as I was that he hit me, at least he wasn’t a sh*tty person."

"I still took my SAT too, my hand was shaking from adrenaline the entire time."- HallucinatesOtters

Choosing to pull the plug

"Having to make the decision to take my mother off of a ventilator."

"Making the decision to end her life."

"I tell myself that it was the right thing to do."

"I have no doubt her quality of life would have been nonexistent."

"However, no amount of rationalizing can make me feel okay as a daughter."- dontonefingerme

Some horrible experiences are just a right of passage.

While others are experiences no one should ever have to go through.

Both are extremely difficult to recover from.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

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