Transformed People Reveal The One Seemingly Inconsequential Thing That Changed Their Lives
Transformed People Reveal The One Seemingly Inconsequential Thing That Changed Their Lives
[rebelmouse-image 18361518 is_animated_gif=Picking the wrong garbage cost me an eyeball.
Got your attention do I? Most people think of life-changing decisions as incredibly important. If something is going to change your whole life, you'd kind of want to put some thought into it, right? The truth is, we make decisions that could change our whole lives all day every day, and we don't even think about it. The smallest, most unimportant, thing could change the whole game for you. I'm proof.
Imagine this, you're doing arts and crafts with your kid and need to throw some scraps away. You don't want that glitter all over your kitchen, so you walk to the outdoor trash can to throw the scraps away. So far so good, right? Who hasn't taken things straight to an outside trash? Pretty much every parent has.
Because I chose that trash can, there was room for one single small piece of glitter to come blowing back out. Because I chose that trash can, there was plant matter in the air. Because I chose that trash can, the glitter was contaminated by that plant matter when it hit my eye. By the time treatments were over, I had lost my hair, had chemical burns across my face, and no longer had a left eyeball. The doctors weren't able to save the eye because the plant matter, essentially, made it mold from the inside out.
I lost my hair, my eye and half of my vision. I racked up the kind of medical bills you never pay off. I had to relearn life all over again with no depth perception (years later, I still miss most things the first time I try to grab them). Then I ended up accidentally internet famous when a fake story about it went viral. Out of that, I ended up with a really cool job (see? it's not all bad!)
All because of which garbage can I chose.
One Reddit user asked:
How was your life shaped by a small, seemingly inconsequential event?
And of course I was in there SO FAST. These are my people! Other people whose whole world shifted over something little like this? Yes, please. Here are 20 of my favorite responses.
A Generous Pastor With A Love Of Music
[rebelmouse-image 18361519 is_animated_gif=When I was a kid, the pastor of my parents' church happened to hear me practicing Bach on the piano.
He asked if I'd like to try the pipe organ - something that had always fascinated me. I took to it like a duck to water, even though my feet could barely reach the pedals. Right then and there - knowing my parents couldn't afford it - he offered to pay for my complete music education in preparation for college. I learned organ, piano, theory, keyboard harmony, ear training and so much more.
I now have a career in in music.
All he asked in return was for me to substitute for the church organist when he was on vacation or away - something I was honored to do.
Tea Time
[rebelmouse-image 18361520 is_animated_gif=My first week of freshman year I lived in a co-ed dorm with a bunch of other engineering students. I was trying to be inclusive and get to know people. We had an open door policy, so I walked down the hall asking people if they want to make tea with me in the communal kitchen.
One guy playing Minecraft randomly said yes. I don't even think he was paying attention to what I asked him, but he rolled with it. Three years later he's my boyfriend and best friend and we're having a blast together.
Sure You Can Watch
[rebelmouse-image 18361521 is_animated_gif=Back in 1988 I went to the grocery store with my mom. The volunteer fire department happened to be doing a demonstration in the parking lot. My mom let me stay and watch.
30 years later I'm a firefighter/Paramedic and have been involved in emergency services since I was 12.
Party Crasher
[rebelmouse-image 18361522 is_animated_gif=A friend & I planned to have a girls night out dinner. One of her friends happened to be visiting on military leave and she invited him to crash girls night out without asking me. I was pretty annoyed at both of them the whole night.
I ended up marrying him 6 years later. You really never know who you'll meet and when..
Biological Father
[rebelmouse-image 18361523 is_animated_gif=I had just given birth to my first born and called my adoptive father to tell him he was a grandfather for the first time.
We had a very poor relationship and he was a huge alcoholic. He lived hundreds of miles away, so letting him know seemed harmless. It was 10 am when I called, he was already drunk. When I told him, he coldly responded:
"You should call your biological father."
I'd never met him, but I knew his name. That comment stuck with me and three days later, I found my biological father on the internet. I called the number listed.
I remember the conversation.
"Where you married to (my moms name) in 1967?"
"Yes."
"Well I wanted to let you know, I'm your daughter and three days ago, you became a grandfather."
He was quiet (not surprising) and I gave him my web site so he could see pictures of me and the baby. They didn't even have internet so he went to a friend's house. He called back an hour later and said:
**"How would you feel if we took a little drive up to see you?" **
He and his wife drove hundreds of miles to visit.
That was 20+ years ago. I now know the whole story. He and his wife moved up here shortly after #2 was born. His wife and my mom are good friends. We see them almost every weekend. My kids are their only grandchildren and pretty much are the light of their life.
Never thought that phone call would change my life.
Thanks For Hitting Me With Your Car
[rebelmouse-image 18361524 is_animated_gif=When I was 17 I left school with no degree, no money and no idea what to do with my life. My dad managed to get me job in retail and on my way to work my first day I got hit by a car.
The manager gave my position to someone else. With literally nothing left to do I decided to go back to school. That was about 7 years ago.
I finished school with honors, went to university, got my bachelors degree in electrical engineering - something everyone told me was impossible for me. Now I work as an engineer making more money in my first year of work than I ever did in my entire life.
Sometimes I think about tracking the guy down who hit me with his car to thank him.
Dave And Dad
[rebelmouse-image 18361525 is_animated_gif=Jr year of high school I was hanging out at my friend Marc's locker, like we all usually did. Another friend, Dave, was trying to convince Marc to join a club called "Junior Achievement" at their first meeting later that night. It's a 'young business leaders' sort of extracurricular club. When I asked what they're talking about, Dave suggested I should give it a try as well.
Later that night, my parents were late getting home from my some event, so I figured it was too late for them to give me a ride to this Junior Achievement thing. I was ready to write the whole meeting off and just skip it! But when my dad walked in the door and I reminded him, he hurried me out to the car so we could go.
I was in the club both junior and senior year of high school with my friends.
The club offered an annual full tuition scholarship to a local private university. A top tier school, but one I was not considering. Marc, Dave and our other senior year friends already had their college careers planned out, so they convinced me to apply for the scholarship.
I won the scholarship and got a nearly free ride into that university. That was amazing, because I wasn't accepted at any of the other colleges I was initially interested in.
So I owe my entire college career, all the friends I made there and probably my current job to Dave bugging us about a club and my dad deciding to keep his word and drive me even though he was tired.
A Dollar From A Stranger
[rebelmouse-image 18361526 is_animated_gif=When I was a kid we didn't have a lot of money, so we often shopped at thrift stores. What I loved about that was that you could get 10 books for a dollar, so I would plant myself in front of the book section and make piles of which one I wanted to get and then decided after I'd gone through them all.
One day an older lady saw me sitting with my piles and asked if I liked to read. I told her I did and showed her a few of the books I found that I liked. She smiled and then pulled a dollar out of her purse, handed it to me and said, "Promise me that you'll keep reading." I was so happy and immediately stood up and said that I would. She smiled and walked away and I went back to my piles able to pick out an extra 10 books to take home.
It was just a small act of kindness for her, but for me having a random stranger encourage my love of reading and making me promise to never stop definitely had a lot to do with my continued love of reading. This was over 20 years ago, but I still think of her whenever I buy a new book.
Too Lazy To Drive
[rebelmouse-image 18361527 is_animated_gif=I didn't go to my baby cousin's 4th birthday party. It was just really small with family and ice cream and I was feeling too lazy to drive close to two hours. He ended up passing away shortly thereafter.
I don't miss anything family now. I've actually gotten really close to my extended family because I won't miss anything anymore. If you're family, I'm there.
Join In
[rebelmouse-image 18361528 is_animated_gif=I was struggling in 3rd year of my engineering degree because I never learned how to study. One day I walk by one of the study rooms and see some people from my class I didn't know, finishing an assignment due the next day that I hadn't started yet.
I asked them, kind of as a joke, if I could join in. They agreed.
Turns out they studied in group sessions and had all of the old tests and assignments from every class we took. My GPA shaped up quickly, I learned how to study, and I finally had people to eat and hang out with.
They are the only people I have maintained contact with 1 year after graduation.
Select Server
[rebelmouse-image 18361528 is_animated_gif=There was massive drama in my guild in World of Warcraft. Although it didn't have anything to do with me, it was making the guild atmosphere toxic. One evening, I logged in, clicked Select Server, and randomly choose a new server.
On the new server, I met my partner. Because of her, I moved to a different country, was able to get my Master's degree, and the move literally saved my life.
For 10 years, I had been going to the doctor with various ailments. I was always told I was just stressed out. Turns out it was actually my thyroid causing an irregularity in my heartbeat. Left untreated for much longer it would have killed me.
Married Because Of The Mail
[rebelmouse-image 18361529 is_animated_gif=During my junior year of high school, I received a well-crafted mailer advertising an engineering summer camp at a college I'd never heard of in a different state. My mother really liked the mailer, so my parents sent me to engineering camp that summer. On the first day of camp, I arrived late to the orientation and sat on the only available seat. The guy I sat next to fell in love with me instantly. We started dating at camp, then the next year, we both went to that college so we could be together. 4 years after that, we both graduated with engineering degrees and got married.
If my mother hadn't liked that mailer, I wouldn't have met my husband, I wouldn't have gone to that school, and I probably would have had a different major as well. Also, if I hadn't sat down next to him at orientation, we probably wouldn't have started dating. Pretty wild.
OK Cupid
[rebelmouse-image 18361530 is_animated_gif=I had always thought I was 6'3" until I went to a prison museum with an ex. I stood by the wall and only came up to 6'2". When ex and I broke up, I reactivated my OK Cupid profile and updated the height...
My current girlfriend had her max height set to 6'2". I wouldn't have even shown up for her had I not changed it. Fortunately I did, and we've been dating for a year and a half now.
Shortcut
[rebelmouse-image 18361532 is_animated_gif=My husband and I "re-met" 3 years after high school. I was in the neighborhood and drove down a street to take a shortcut. He was outside his parents' house washing his dad's car. I stopped to say what's up.
We will be married for 22 years next month! Best driving shortcut I ever took, ha!
Travel Arrangements
[rebelmouse-image 18361533 is_animated_gif=A friend from school was having an engagement party. I'd moved several hours drive away since high school and was having car trouble, so I wasn't sure I could make it.
My friend gave me the name of one other person living in my new town who was also invited, a friend of her future husband. I got in contact with this guy and introduced myself, then asked if he was planning to go to the party and wanted to split the travel costs. Unfortunately he wasn't able to make it to the party either because of work commitments.
Tracking him down still turned out to be worthwhile though. Next year will be our 20th anniversary together.
Online Robbery
[rebelmouse-image 18361534 is_animated_gif=Back in 2011, I was playing a text-based game online. I got a notification that another player had tried to "break into" my game apartment. I messaged that player with a cheesy joke about how next time they can just ring the doorbell.
We got married and we are now in the (painfully slow) process of my wife moving 11,500 miles away from home to come live with me.
Had she never tried (and failed) to rob me online in the first place we never would have been where we are. Had I never had this sense of humor that urged me to message her, we never would have been where we are.
Heathen Adventures
[rebelmouse-image 18361535 is_animated_gif=At age 15, I was forced to hang out with a family member on a vacation I didn't want to be on. We ended up going to the zoo. I didn't feel like walking around with them, so I decided to hang out by the chimps. I ended up seeing one of them make a face of what appeared to be laughter and was surprised at how human-like it was. I went home, did some research, and stumbled upon the discipline of anthropology, which turned out to be one of my greatest passions.
Soon after, I denounced my old religion, and became a proponent of evolution, causing an enormous rift in my family life and sending me on a path of "heathen" adventures.
Cheap Shoes
[rebelmouse-image 18361536 is_animated_gif=Freshman year of college, I decided to hike the John Muir trail with my dad and a friend. This trail takes weeks to trek, so e spent months getting ready, prepping gear, physically training, etc. This was a huge thing to prep for. My dad hurt his knee and had to bail out. I was really disappointed, but was going to finish with my friend.
My friends shoes began to fall apart 40 miles in and he needed to quit. This wasn't a trip I wanted to do alone, so I begrudgingly left the trail with them.
When I got home, there was an email from my professor asking for people to work as TAs and to respond by that Friday if you were interested. I respond, and he's delighted to have me.
Worked as a TA and his only grader for two years until he retired. Before he retired, he wrote me a glowing letter of recommendation, which I attached to applications when applying to internships. I got an interview, despite my below target GPA, the interviewer for one particular oil company explained, because of my TA experience and the letter of recommendation. I end up getting an internship at that oil company, and eventually a full time job after graduation. Several years later, the company transfers me to Montana, where I bought a house and met my now-fiancee.
So, if my buddy had bought a little better shoes, I might be in a totally different place in life...
Sand Gets In Your Eyes
[rebelmouse-image 18361537 is_animated_gif=I was riding my motorcycle years ago to visit a chick in Tallahassee fl.... it was 1am and i was trying to figure out exactly where she lived. (Pre gps days)
I got sand in my eye from the road and stopped at a redlight to try and clean them out. The light went green but i sat there a few seconds cleaning my eyes. There was nobody around so i wasnt worried about blocking traffic.
Right at that moment an old hoopdie blew the redlight doing almost 100mph.
I am 100% positive i am still here because I got sand in my eyes.
Check Your Pockets
[rebelmouse-image 18361538 is_animated_gif=I walked into a hot tub on New year's with my phone in my swimsuit pocket. Doofus move.
It resulted in me missing a call from my mother who was worried about my younger sister and didn't know where she was because she was supposed to be home by 1:00am. She was nervous and my father had gone to bed. Instead of waiting she decided to drive to the house she knew I was at to figure out the address of where my little sister was. On the way to me she was hit by a drunk driver. I went home the next morning to find a note from my father about how my mother had been in a car accident. I went to the hospital to visit her immediately and found my father and sister there. She needed physical therapy for the next few months and I drove her there for every appt because it worked well with my schedule. I then met her physical therapist, who was two years older than me.
I got engaged to that therapist and we have been married for five years now, all because I destroyed my phone in a hot tub.
H/T: Reddit
It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.
With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.
Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.
Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.
Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.
Always making for a memorable story.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
People Who've Had A Serious Illness Describe The Exact Moment They Knew Something Was Really Wrong
As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.
However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.
Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.
Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.
It all started when Redditor thelearner18 asked:
"People who have had a serious disease (cancer, MS, organ failure, etc) when did you realize something was really wrong?"
A Lesson Learned
"Hust found out i have rectal cancer. 42 yrs old. multiple stools per day, not fully emptying, thin poop. so got a colonoscopy. bam! cancer. starting chemo next week. lesson learned for everyone....if your stools or stool schedule changes, go see a doctor"
– shawngee03
A Lucky Break
"I had been having a lot of pain in my midsection, and all around my torso for several weeks. I went to the doctor and it was dismissed as gynecological cramping (menopausal?). It remained. After several weeks (6-8) I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to emergency in the middle of the night. I got a CT scan that showed a large kidney stone. They also found a mass on my ovary. The kidney stone lead them to finding a rare ovarian cancer. If not for that stone, I wouldn’t have known about the cancer and might not have caught it in time. I have been in remission since September 2021."
– peachsqueeze66
Cause For Concern
"My kid, who was 14 at the time, kept throwing up in the morning and having weird headaches. Her doctor thought it was migraines. She went back a couple of times, but the doctor was not concerned. Then one day she complained of a whooshing noise in her ear. Went to the children’s hospital and found out it was a brain tumor near her cerabellum. She was in ICU for a month, but turned out it was non cancerous and it never grew back. She is doing great now."
– Evilelfqueen
"I heard a whooshing noise in my ear a few years ago I only really heard it at night when it was quiet it would sometimes switch ears now I basically never hear it. I'm pretty sure it was just pulsatile tinnitus but still scary."
– fallen-summer
It Was The Salt
"I have Cystic Fibrosis (terminal lung disease) and it was found out when I didn't sh*t for 3 days after I was born and then my mother gave me a kiss and said I tasted REALLY salty."
"Now I'm on a gene modification drug called Trikafta and this is some serious witch craft a** sh*t because I no longer feel sick to death and I basically feel like a normal person. It's f*cking wild!
"Went from 19% lung function to 87% in 3 months. I no longer cough my a** off or feel like I'm suffocating from mucus. Go science!"
– Sudden_Blueberry_477
A Funky Optic Nerve
"I was diagnosed with MS when I was 22 after having blurred vision in one eye after a ski trip. I went to the optometrist and they said I had a dry eye probably from not wearing goggles while snow boarding. So they gave me steroid drops. After a week it kept getting worse, so I went back and they told me my eye looked much better so they did a field of view test, which showed I couldn’t see anything out of the lower half of one eye. They sent me straight to the emergency room since nothing was wrong physically wrong with my eye. They did some tests and I was diagnosed with MS and ended up going completely blind in one eye. My vision eventually came back and I got on medication within a month so haven’t really had any symptoms or issues since thankfully. I’m only 29 now though."
– johnjohn9312
Caught It In Time
"This isn't me, but this happened to my best friend VERY recently. Like in the last couple of months."
"Was perfectly fine and healthy one day. Then the next he started feeling a little bit of pain in his kidney. He'd had kidney stones before, so he figured it was that again. Then he started peeing blood. He thought it was still part of the kidney stone thing so let it go for a couple days, but he was still peeing blood and the pain was getting worse."
"That's when he decided to go to the doctor. They did an X-ray and found a mass in his kidney and told him that based on where it was located they can't remove the mass, and they can't do a partial kidney removal, and it's about a 90% chance it's cancerous, but they wouldn't be able to do a biopsy without removing the kidney first. They did the whole insurance dance, but it went fast and within two weeks he was in surgery having his kidney removed."
"He's still recovering at home right now, but they got the biopsy results last week. It was indeed cancerous, but they caught it before it spread."
– SweetCosmicPope
Happily Ever After
"I couldn’t walk anymore with my crutch I had been using to get by. Had Been on Percocet for 8 months because of the extreme pain. Nobody was finding answers to my pain but I knew something was wrong, badly. After finally having an ultra sound on my hips at the age of 26 I found out I had to undergo a double hip replacement to walk again due to a serious rare disease. I was stage 4 Avascular Nercrosis. Took a year to recover from both. But Happier ending, I’m doing good now. However it was very very upsetting news to get over a phone call at 26."
– heartpathetic
It Really Sneaks Around
"My wife started getting numbness in her right arm. The breast cancer had spread to her right shoulder and the tumor was crushing the nerves. She has stage four breast cancer in her bones."
– zenos_dog
A Turn For The Worse
"For me, it started May 14, 2014. I went to work and was having a good morning. Then, at about 9:00 in the morning or so, I started to feel some lower abdominal pain. Not to be crude, but it felt like that cramp you get when you really need to go to the bathroom. I did so, but the pain didn't go away. It got worse. I started to feel chills, was sweating, and felt nauseated. My employer has a clinic on site, so I went there. After some poking and prodding, the nurse asked me if I wanted to go home or if I wanted to go to the emergency room. I decided to go home, and if the pain didn't subside, then I'd go to the emergency room. As I was saying that, though, I noticed that my pain had gotten a LOT worse. They always make you rate your pain on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being no pain at all and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. When I went into the clinic, I was mostly uncomfortable, maybe a high 2 going into a 3. On that very subjective scale, I was now a 6 or a 7."
"I changed my mind and decided to go straight to the nearest emergency room. My boss drove me, and by the time we got there about 15 minutes later, I was now a 10. This was the worst pain I'd ever felt. My previous definition of the worst pain I'd ever felt was when I broke 7 bones in my wrist, it was misdiagnosed as a sprain, and I had to have them rebroken 2 weeks later. The pain in my abdomen was now worse than that. The emergency room admitted me and put me in a wheelchair. They wheeled me to a room, I curled up on the bed they put me in, and passed out."
"At some point, a nurse came in and gave me some morphine. Great stuff. No pain at all anymore. A doctor came in and told me they suspected a kidney stone. He wanted me to get a CT scan to confirm it, and I agreed. An orderly wheeled me off to imaging. I got scanned without contrast and was wheeled back to the room. My wife had arrived while I was getting scanned. Shortly later, the doctor who told me he thought it was a kidney stone came into the room. With another doctor. And two nurses. They all crowd around me with solemn looks on their faces."
"The first doctor told me it was a kidney stone. A 2 to 3 mm kidney stone had been lodged in the ureter of my left kidney. That's the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. It passed into my bladder when they gave me the morphine, but they could see evidence of it on the CT scan. Then the other doctor said they were more concerned about the 6 cm mass they found on my right kidney. They had my attention."
"They did another CT scan, with contrast this time, and it was impossible to see anything but a tumor in the pictures they showed me. They made an appointment for me with a urologist for the next day, as well as an appointment in a few days time to get it biopsied. It was an after-hours appointment for the urologist, but he was nice enough to stay late to see me. He looked at the CT Scans and cancelled my appointment to get it biopsied. He said there was nothing else it could be but cancer, and the kidney would have to go."
"Two months later, I had the kidney and the tumor removed laparoscopically. I was incredibly lucky. They caught it in stage 1. The doctor said there were signs it was going to start moving soon. I have no idea how doctors can look at a softball sized lump of cancer and tell anything other than 'gross', but that's why they're the doctors and I'm not."
"My recovery was smooth, and I've been cancer-free for 9 years. I was incredibly blessed. I didn't have to deal with chemo, or radiation. While those can save your life, they are also horrible experiences with nasty side effects. I didn't have to deal with any of them. I was bracing myself to have to. They said it was a possibility. But I didn't. I have every respect for those not as fortunate as me, and wish them all the best in recovery."
– mnementh9999
Reason #5,622 To Start Exercising
"I started jogging again to try and get back into running shape. I kept noticing that just after a mile or so, I'd stop and get REALLY lightheaded. Kept thinking, "oh, I'm really out of shape" and kept going. Went in a few weeks later for my annual physical and doctor said "you ever been told you have a heart murmur?", no. Two months later I spent Christmas of 2017 in the ICU after having a section of my aorta cut out and a new valve put in. Surgeon said it was bad. Said it wouldn't have made it too much longer."
"Edit: for clarification, it was an aortic dissection."
– Itsawlinthereflexes
Slow And Steady
"My dad's friend went on a hike with a doctor who knew him and he was winded not far from the car. The doctor clocked it right away and told him to get his heart checked. He had 98% blockage in his heart arteries."
"He tells my dad so my dad gets the test to see how his arteries are doing and they found a massive aneurism on his aorta. He is getting it removed tomorrow. He had no symptoms but the doctors said if he had overdone it he would be dead before anyone would even know what was going on. Crazy how a random friend's hike may have saved his life."
– Pencilowner
It Takes A Village
"I never did, my teacher and parents did."
"I was seven, usually an active kid and my first grade teacher noticed that rather than running around at recess I sat down and took a nap. It happened a couple more times and after I fell asleep in class (totally out of character), she gave my parents a call, we had been visiting the doc fairly regularly cause I was also complaining of joint pain and frequent ear infections combined with the new symptoms and a new doc at the practice I was finally diagnosed with leukemia."
– greenmachine11235
Thank goodness for that teacher (and of course, the parents)!
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Ask everything.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.
But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.
Redditor overIorded asked:
"What went wrong with your last partner?"
History Repeating Itself
"He cheated on me. And I was glad because that was finally reason enough to allow myself to leave."
"Now I know somebody who's in the same situation. They're trapped. And she's such a gentle and fun person who's afraid to leave him because 'well, it's always been like this, I'm used to it,' and 'I deserve it.'"
"She wants to leave him, she knows she should leave him, but it's so hard to do it, and I know that feeling."
"I'm thinking I should give her my phone number like when the day comes you've had enough, I'll gladly come to help you move out from that s**thole."
- NmlsFool
Mental Health Struggles
"I'm lost in my own trauma and mental illness and he deserves better than anything I have to offer right now."
- Last-Celery7146
"I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and mildly said, it absolutely ruined me. Her trauma and mental problems were BAD, but I still wanted to be with them. So if you ask me, as long as they can give you the space and support you need, and want to be with you, let them make the decision."
- emilersen
"It's also fair and mature to care very much about someone but realize that you only have the emotional bandwidth to take care of yourself right now."
"I'm sure it was very hard for both of you to come to terms with that decision. I don't think it's that he deserves better, I think it's that your attention needs to be on guiding yourself through this thicket of trauma and mental illness before you can be someone else's partner. You can love each other very much but also acknowledge that you don't have the tools to spare for a relationship right now."
"I'm proud of you for focusing on your own mental health and someday, when you have more emotional stability and energy, I hope you find a wonderful partner."
- SpoonAtKnifeFight
Relationship Styles
"We disagreed on how many women he was allowed to date. I’m very strong on monogamy and have no interest in someone (in a supposedly committed relationship) that isn’t."
- Altrano
At Least There's That
"Her psychotic brother tried to kill me. Thankfully he has a Stormtrooper's aim..."
- Active-Plate7939
"Hate the attempted murder, love the 'Star Wars' reference."
- letmetellyousom
Childfree Living
"He wanted a big family, like, six kids, all-natural. Obviously, he wouldn't be birthing them. This was very important to him while I was pretty ambivalent about kids, and the further into my adulthood I've gotten, the more I've realized I just don't want to be pregnant."
"I broke it off so we could both get the lives we wanted. He was also quite a bit more conservative than me, and at the time closeted pansexual person, and some stuff he believed just didn't line up with what I believed. It hurt, but it was amicable."
"Now he has a wife and kids like he wanted, and I am happily partnered and childfree. It worked out for the best."
- Free-Government5162
Family Ties
"She hated that I had a healthy relationship with my family and was trying to find ways to sabotage it."
- Cobra-Serpentress
"Similar aspect to mine, she hated my sister and mother because she had a bad relationship with her sister and mother. She would get mad at me whenever I brought my family up."
- letmetellyousom
Quality Time
"My last boyfriend dumped me because I got mad that he was coming to Dallas after I hadn't seen him for two months, but didn't want to see me."
"He was going to meet up with some friends of his he hadn't seen in a few months. I told him that was fine with me, but I felt he should make time to see me too since we hadn't seen each other in two months and we were supposed to be a couple."
"He responded to my anger by ghosting me. That was two years ago."
- dallasmysterylover
Distracted with a Punch
"A girl contacted me about him talking to her. I asked him what was going on, and he sucker-punched me in the face."
- Brilliant-Victory128
Projecting Insecurities
"He cheated on me for all six years we were together and then accused me of cheating on him, even though I wasn't allowed to leave the house."
"I'm also pretty sure he slept with my sister-in-law when my brother and I went to pick up dinner."
- Affectionate_Egg1252
Children Come First
"He was and still is no father to his kids, has anger issues, and probably has other mental health issues. I tried for years to help him and help the relationship, but he wasn't having it. After seeing how my oldest suffered under him, I had to leave."
- rintan13
Poor Communication
"I communicated how I felt about many things in the relationship. He never communicated about anything."
- aj_oof0323
"Oh look, it's the last 14 years of my life..."
- empathetic111
"I'm guilty of this, and boy, do I regret not being able to open up about my feelings. It cost me my marriage. But now I'm trying to be more open and share my thoughts and feelings. Just wished I could've done this earlier than later."
Deserving Better
"I started drinking again and became a miserable a**hole due to my own depression and my s**tty job. As such, she didn't get the attention she deserved, and had to put up with my s**tty mood all the time... so she left. I don't blame her."
"So, it was me. I don't know if I trust myself with a relationship again, but aside from the shame of knowing I hurt someone who I loved, and loved me back, but I was too self-absorbed and selfish, I am trying to be a better human to everyone."
"And to my ex: You'll find someone again... someone better."
- cracksintheegg
Big Moves
"He wanted to move to Alaska to be with some girl he was 'friends' with before me."
- dont_be_trash
Alzheimer's Disease
"My ex's early-onset Alzheimers (at the age of 50) and the resulting violence, paranoia, and irrational thinking. I tried to honor my vows, but he was so far out there, I feared for my life."
- No_Transportation258
Different Definitions of Marriage
"She cheated on me after five years total together, the last one of which was while we were engaged. She cheated on me for months, all while I was planning the wedding, working part-time, and going to graduate school so I can support us comfortably in the future."
"I planned on giving her everything I could and sharing the rest of my life with her, and apparently she didn’t care."
- Mountaingoat1001
This conversation just goes to show that relationships can end for all kinds of reasons. Even in relationships where there is still a lot of love and committment, the relationship can still end, just like how the relationship can end suddenly because of a surprising and devastating realization.