Being turned off by someone can be just as easy as being turned on. I hate to admit it, but it can only take one minor infraction, in a split second to sour my taste in someone.
I once was with someone I thought may actually turn out to be "the one," then for a moment, their laugh went a little too shrill for my ears. I was done. They were dead to me, darlings.
I know I'm extreme, but I'm not alone. We all have those little details, and pet peeves that send a big "No thank you flag" out. Some actions are tiny and others are large. And a lot of these traits can be fixed, if one is so inclined.
Redditor u/iamaaronmullen wanted to hear about what details a person may possess that is a big mood kill, by asking:
What is something a lot of people find attractive that is actually a turn off for you?
The worst feeling about what we're about to read is... we may find ourselves on these lists. Don't lie, you know, you're thinking it as well. So good luck to us all, fingers crossed, unless that's a turn off too...
Be Quiet
fall out boy guitars GIF by CMT CrossroadsGiphy"Dudes who always play their acoustic guitar and sing. Once and a while is fine but not all the time. Anyway, here's Wonderwall."
- jkw91
Private Matters
"Public proposals."
"I made it so clear to my now-fiancé that I hated this crap. So he found the most beautiful, secluded spot on the Grand Canyon rim hike and proposed there. I loved it so much I kept the map they give you at the visitor center, put a heart over the exact spot, and framed it so it now hangs over our bed."
"I could tell my ex-boyfriend was going to do that. He is marriage oriented. That was great, but at a weekend trip we did, he was so bummed and depressed when I said I hate public proposals. You are putting the woman you love into a corner, forcing her to be polite, hurt you, or putting pressure on her. Right now a woman he is dating for 11 months have moved in together. I'm not going to be shocked to find him do a public proposal at an event with his and her family there."
Duh!
"Pretending to be stupid when you are not. It's not cute, it just makes me feel uncomfortable."
"I remember the manager at my old job was complaining to one of the girls I worked with that he hated it when girls act stupid. Accused her of doing it, and told her to knock it off. She replied, "Oh my gooooo-od! This isn't an act!" I was inclined to believe her."
Outrageous Fortune
"When guys show how much money they have- expensive cars, clothes, jewelry, carrying a lot of cash, hustle culture. I just don't like people who are so obsessed with wealth and money and showing it off."
"I had a disagreement with a former roommate where he could not fathom that anybody wanted other things out of life besides extreme wealth."
"In his view literally every person trying to do good has an ulterior motive, or is already rich, or idk just can't get wealth and is trying to get laid some other way. Central to his world view was this notion that wealth is the real and only goal and everything else is a means to it, or a failure to achieve it or something."
Experience Needed
like a virgin hello GIFGiphy"People who think virgins are the ultimate sex make no sense to me. I guess those people are either controlling, paranoid, or jealous. (or some combination thereof)."
I love "Wonderwall" and public proposals. Some of you are just no fun, and THAT is also a turn off, but to each their own I suppose. And I do love money, but classy people with money, don't go out of their way to show off. Just FYI.
Calm Down
Skal Vi Danse Smile GIF by tv2norgeGiphy"Men acting super cocky or tough, like that "macho" energy. Always hated it and I never understood the appeal."
Logos
"Designer clothes with very Obvious brand logos plastered on everything they wear."
"I never understood why people kill for those Louis Vuitton handbags, it's a damn piece of brown leather with the same logo just slapped around it and they look horrible."
"Exactly. I actually find it embarrassing to walk around in things that have the logo so obviously put. Gucci, lv etc."
Drive Away
"Guys posing in front of cars. Instant turn off in dating profiles whenever I see one."
"Once I was sitting in my mom's car playing Minecraft at the very back of the car while she was picking up my dad, and a bunch of teenage boys came up to the car and I thought they were about to steal the car. But nah, they just started taking pics and at one point one guy was holding a door like he was about to get in and drive. After their photo shoot they just left. I'll never understand why people do these things 🤦🏻♀️."
Lashed Out
"Muppet lashes."
"Most fascinating thing. I was mocked in school for having extremely long, thick lashes, spider-eye they would call me. Now they're running to salons trying to get that very thing done for a lot of money. I once had a dude in a club try to rip off my "fake" lashes, he was so pissed at "fake everything," he felt he needed to "teach me a lesson." He made my lid pop off my eye socket with an audible smack."
"perfect"
Maya Rudolph Eyebrows GIFGiphy"The way some girls try to get "perfect" eyebrows. Yea I get no one likes a monno brow even on guys but a girl I know looks like she's 2 Nike logos and it's all I can see. I'm bad for not looking people in the eye but with her I must look real attentive."
People Explain Which Conspiracy Theories They Believe Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Let's Play
"Lap dances. One or two past girlfriends took it upon themselves to give me a lap dance, and it just feels silly and awkward being on the receiving end."
"My wife and I feel this way about role playing of any sort. We just end up getting the giggles."
"Sometimes we role play during foreplay but honestly it mostly involves bad accents, sexual innuendo and terrible puns. We're usually both laughing, it's fun. I don't think sex always needs to be solemn passionate lovemaking. Part of what attracts me to him is how funny he is, and the role playing stuff turns me on but not for the reasons you might think."
Gross
"Baby talk, or whatever you want to call it. Makes me cringe. Talk like an adult."
"My brother still lives at home, and his partner is over quite frequently. They ONLY talk in the baby voice. Nothing in the world gets me more pissed off than having to listen to 2 grown adults baby talk and giggle and make exaggerated kissy noises for hours, especially when I'm trying to sleep."
- mhnbwr
Blending
"When someone displays their wealth frequently with luxury handbags or clothes or cars etc."
"I think the difference is that you are showing off your interests instead of your money. It is pretty easy to figure out who is showing off their money vs their interest in cars once you talk to them. From a distance obviously it sort of blends together."
"diaper butt"
"Butt implants that give the "diaper butt" look. I mean, i like a nice round booty like anyone else, but these diaper butts look horrendous."
Macho
"Any level of machismo or physical aggression in men. I do not want you to get mad in my defense over little things. I also do not want to see you punch a wall in your rage. I will actually end up worrying that you are going to pick a dumb fight or break something over a stupid thing."
"Your rage makes me nervous even if it's not directed at me. It's not a turn on. Like sure, if someone is actually trying to hurt me or creep on me, I don't mind a guy stepping in to help. But it should be a last resort. I much prefer a man who wants to just leave or de-escalate a situation as calmly as possible."
Control
Step Off Watch Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy"Possessiveness. Talk to my woman/man, you'll have me to mess with" is so unattractive me- feels like the person sees their partner as an object in their life that they need to defend, not a full a** human who they can trust."
- bobagret
Be Smart
"Girls who act stupid in order to be perceived as damsels in distress. It's very unattractive to me especially if I know the girl is smart and competent to take care of herself."
"When I started middle school, I thought acting dumb would win over my crush bc all the popular girls acted like that. Meanwhile, my teacher noticed but saw me making straight A's. She pulled me aside one day and said "don't ever downplay your intelligence." And that's one of the only things I can remember from middle school to this day. Lmao."
Wealth...
"When guys show how much money they have- expensive cars, clothes, jewelry, carrying a lot of cash, hustle culture. I just don't like people who are so obsessed with wealth and money and showing it off."
"I had a disagreement with a former roommate where he could not fathom that anybody wanted other things out of life besides extreme wealth."
"In his view literally every person trying to do good has an ulterior motive, or is already rich, or idk just can't get wealth and is trying to get laid some other way. Central to his world view was this notion that wealth is the real and only goal and everything else is a means to it, or a failure to achieve it or something."
Negative Vibes
"Women that are deliberately rude and "bad witch" energy. But like the negative type of energy."
- shygrl__
"Men or women who use the line "I'm not afraid to speak my mind," or "I'm opinionated." You're not a bold confident person... you're an a**hole. Plenty of stuff I don't say in my head because it's inappropriate or mean."
I think we all need to take a step back with the beauty additions. I love lashes but even Ms. Piggy can turn it down. What has this read taught us thus far? Don't try so hard. Start with being yourself. Feels like we can all see through the rest.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.