Trains are often screaming through desolate areas for hours at a time, with most passengers out cold or watching Season 2 of god knows what. Without that front-and-center seat conductors are lucky enough to have, there's no knowing what loony things are happening along the route.


It's no surprise real-life conductors with that very view have some pretty strange tales to tell.

u/ArGeN1254 asked, "Train drivers of reddit, what is the strangest thing you've seen on the tracks?"

As Good a Place as Any

I've been driving trains for about 10 years, the most memorable would be two Male peacocks on the track doing some sort of a dominance display. Very pretty birds but a shame to hit them.

u/TrainDriverDad

Giphy

Maybe the Vibrations Do Something For Him?

The human unicorn of Chicago. It's a guy that would bend over next to the passing trains with a broom stick sticking out of his butt

u/Matches_Malone83

How Many We Talkin' Here

Dildos.

Random. Large. Dildos.

u/Feed_my_Mogwai

Huge Mess

Port o potty truck getting into an accident with a semi hauling toilet paper.

u/Younktsome

Seen From a Safe Distance

Witnessed a drunk chap grab the overhead lines once, melted his rib cage and his insides turned into goo.

u/blazingwhale

Emus Do NOT Back Down

Train Driver from Australia, for me it would be either an Emu charging head first at my train, or two foxes fornicating in between the tracks..

u/Kegzy37

Romantic Getaway

I once saw a homeless guy getting a blow job from a toothless addict next to the tracks in Nashville.

Giphy

Took So Many Tries to Get it Right

Used to be a common occurrence just north of Birmingham Alabama was a lady who would stand next to the tracks in a trench coat with a photographer and when the train was going by or right before, would get completely naked for a photo shoot.

u/dapaul66

Musta Been Teenage Punks

Driving down the freight line, notice something shine and a figure in front of me, I threw it in emergency and we hit the figure. Got out to look and someone left a mannequin on the tracks and the thing shining was a flashlight.

u/unknownfarmer1221233

Giphy

Bit of a Fixer Upper

Probably the strangest thing was an entire collection of yard decoration things. Literally hundreds of items that were set up alongside the tracks in the middle of nowhere along about a half mile stretch. Plastic flamingos, those fake well things, fountains, decorative bricks, flower pots, flags, bird feeders, and all kinds of other stuff.

u/greenlantern33

People Describe The Moment They Realized They've Been Doing Something Wrong For Years

It can be very embarrassing when you pronounce words wrong. Let's face it, the English language is super complicated, especially if you're learning it for the first time. You can't always trust yourself to pronounce things phonetically either because of all the different rules!

Recently, a relative pronounced the word "epitome" like "epi-tome." They were embarrassed when I corrected them. I told them that it wasn't a big deal, though they did note that they love that word, have used it for a long time, and that no one corrected them until that moment...

Ouch.

People told their stories after Redditor adeptwarrior asked the online community,

"What's an 'oh sh*t' moment where you realised you've been doing something the wrong way for years?"
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But some of the shows that once captivated audiences have not aged well, and there are many elements in them that are outdated by today's standards.

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After having grown up inside the protective environment that was your childhood home, the inevitable time to leave and carve out your own path without a safety net can be terrifying.

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I may not be popular for saying this, but I think comedy is the best form of entertainment.

However, it’s not always easy to find great comedy.

There are lots of comedians who make me smile or even make me laugh at a joke or two. Yet, it’s really hard to find a comedian who can keep me laughing through their whole set.

If you’re having trouble finding those kinds of comedians, or are just ready to find a new comedian to enjoy, Redditors are here to help.

Probably hoping to find a great comedian themself, Redditor Plastic_Ad_6179 asked:

"Who's the best comedian of all time in your opinion?"

Sean Lock

"Sean Lock"

"For many reasons, but mainly for being the undisputed champion of the world in...Carrot In A Box:"

– Rymundo88

"What a HUGE talent. Luckily he left a lot of great footage. Terrible loss."

– Pan-tang

"The comedians comedian"

– FrederickBishop

George Carlin

"George Carlin."

"Honorable mention to Bill Burr."

– gobigred3562

"When I turned 21, my mom took me to Vegas. We saw Carlin perform and we laughed solidly for 90 minutes. I don’t remember any of the jokes, but I have never laughed like that since. He was a true master of the art."

– drCrankoPhone

"Carlin is the only correct answer. Nobody will ever touch that level of wit, wordplay, satire, and social commentary."

"Nobody."

– reflUX_cAtalyst

Mike Birbiglia

"I went to a Mike Birbiglia show at Zanies in Nashville back in 2008. Guy killed…got up on stage, told 1 story. Took him 90 minutes to get through that story. The whole time, he’s veering off on tangents that seemed completely natural, conversational even. Each tangent was a tiny hilarious story itself. The show seemed so smooth and flowed so naturally, that I could hardly believe it was written. It was masterful. Sure, he doesn’t tell jokes that leave you breathless with laughter, but he does tell jokes that get 90% of the way there with such consistency that I’m actually more impressed with that than the former."

– mavol

Norm MacDonald

"In terms of:"

  • "Being at the top of his game for a long period of time"
  • "Being perfect at timing and execution"
  • "Understanding comedy to a degree that other comedians notice and respect"
  • "Being clever and witty on the spot"
  • "Having memorable jokes and killer standup routines"

"Norm MacDonald"

– warpus

"My favorite story about Norm MacDonald I've heard is that when he was coming up if he bombed he'd wait in the back of the club after the show to shake everyone's hand in their way out. If he killed he wouldn't. What a legend."

– SixPieceTaye

"If you asked a group of comedians who their favorite comedian is I'd bet Norm would be near the top of the list. So much of his material was a deconstruction of comedy itself. If Norm MacDonald tells you a bad joke, and you laugh, is it still a bad joke? Why is it funny? Are you laughing at him or is he laughing at you?"

– foldingcouch

Mitch Hedberg

"Mitch Hedberg. RIP."

– onepotatotwopotato3

"I used to love that guy. I still do but I used to too."

– ChefHannibal

""I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That’s a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.""

""F**k you, zzzzzzzzzzip""

– StarktheGuat

Monty Python

"Monty Python, as a group."

"I don't think there's been a single more influential comedy act than Flying Circus."

– EarlyBirdsofBabylon

"I agree with it just because it’s one of the few non-American mentions here. People seriously think that humor ends on American Stand Up and television…"

"Also Monty Python is ALWAYS funny"

– RockThePlazmah

Robin Williams

"Robin Williams."

– Flicksterea

"Live on Broadway stands as one of the most memorable things I have ever watched."

– Grimlock64

"Idk why he isn’t higher on this list or mentioned more often. Robin Williams had absolutely insane improv skills. Watch the episode of Who’s Line with him as the guest star, the rest of the cast can’t keep it together."

– _xXmyusernameXx_

Lucille Ball

"Lucille Ball"

– LusciousofBorg

"Scrolled this far to find a female comedian! Love Lucille Ball"

– boonybun

"I saw I Love Lucy was streaming a couple months ago. Having watched it as a kid, I figured I’d put it on for a nostalgic chuckle. I was not ready for that show to be so, so funny—I nearly passed out I was laughing so hard."

– mypantsareawesome

"She was a comedic genius."

– DrWorm_DD

Rowan Atkinson

"Rowan Atkinson (John Cleese closely second)"

– DarkFluids777

"Atkinson is such an amazing physical comedian that it’s basically overlooked that he’s a first-rate stand-up, as well."

– HilariousSpill

Eddie Murphy

"Eddie Murphy"

– onterrible1

"He saved SNL. They wouldn't be on air today were it not for Murphy"

– Blackgurlmajik

"Goat of comedy"

– IndependenceScary644

Comedy may not be everyone’s favorite form of entertainment, but it is a can’t miss, so long as the comedian in question is a good one.

Luckily, we’ve got some great suggestions above.