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People Break Down Which Inherently Toxic Things Are Perceived As Normal

People Break Down Which Inherently Toxic Things Are Perceived As Normal
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

We should all be taught at a very young age when to spot and know when to eradicate toxic people and behaviors.

Seriously... who needs yet another useless semester of PE? This is a life lesson just as viable as Home Ec. Heck, it should be part of the Home Ec curriculum. Oh wait, do they still have Home Ec?

We've been gaslit to take abuse, it's engrained in our DNA and psyche. Somethings are not normal and it's imperative to know when to say no.

Redditoru/Tizerkanewanted to discuss the things and behaviors we've fooled ourselves into believing are proper in life by asking:

What's something inherently toxic that is perceived as normal?

Abuse from in all forms is a big no. And toxicity is oozing from every aspect of life. We have to start cleaning it out of our minds. I've started with taking inventory in friendships. It's about quality, not quantity.

Hard Labor

Stressed Paper GIF by Two Mortgage GuysGiphy

"Overworking."

- NakedUnderTheSheets

"To add to this, the expectation that a hobby isn't worth having if you can't (or don't want to) monetize it."

- Im_a_TARDIS_AMA

Such an Intellect

"Asking a prospective employee to create a full on project or develop content specific to the position applied for. You might not get the job but the company has your intellectual property (and plenty are not above using it as their own)."

"Edit: Who knew? I just threw this out there because it happened to me. And I couldn't believe the balls out nerve of people asking me to create site-specific content to test my skills, which were well-documented by portfolio and easily verified. I guess I'm not the only one."

- janesanerd

Rest is Necessary

"Going to work/school even if you're super sick or in pain, not having days off, being expected to have perfect attendance in school or at work... etc etc."

- Child_of_Hylia

"My employer has a high turnover of staff. I'm considered an 'old timer' because I've been there two years and I'm actually employed by the company. They combat the high turnover with temp to perm agency staff. Impress the boss and you get employed."

"But the bar is set so ridiculously high for these guys they get dismissed and replaced on a weekly basis. One of the big reasons is guys calling in sick being dismissed because 'they're clearly time wasters. Humans get ill. We don't get sick pay where we work. If they're calling in sick they haven't made that decision lightly."

- arcadesteveuk

Torture

"I'm surprised nobody else has said sleep deprivation yet. Sleep deprivation literally causes brain damage to the part of the brain responsible for happiness and memory. There is a reason military regulation require soldiers be provided 8 hours of sleep. Because sleep deprivation is a form of torture."

- Over_Shock_2610

Shut Up!

Yelling College Basketball GIF by BIG EAST ConferenceGiphy

"Parents screaming at children during little league games."

- dustinhotsauce

Oof, so much awful can be traced back to our professional lives. A job, even a career is just that. A job or a career. You're not a slave to it. It's doesn't to own you. Why have we been taught to bow down to a boss? When we should be punching the boss.

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Say I Don't...

Read Modern Family GIF by PeacockTVGiphy

"Making fun of or denigrating one's spouse in social situations. It's a crappy thing to do."

- GoingApeCostume

Speak Truthfully

"Not saying what you mean."

- flyinsolonw

"I hate people that do this. Just say exactly what you mean please. Don't beat around the bush. Im not going to waste brain power trying to work out if you mean what you say or something else, and if it's something else I'm not going to bother working out what that is either."

- ignislupus

Too Sweet

"The amount of sugar in everything."

- wildslayer16

"Worse: the amount of "stuff that is supposed to replace sugar" in everything. High Fructose Corn syrup, Partially hydrogenated something or other, imitation saccharine, etc. etc. Some of that stuff is even way worse than sugar."

- FaliedSalve

"time and a half"

"In my industry (manufacturing), mandatory overtime. Pre-covid, it was totally normal for people to have to work 50+ hours a week, sometimes 7 days a week for months at a time. The whole point of "time and a half" was to discourage companies from making people work more than 40 hours regularly. And yet, for most of 2018 and 2019, people like my father in law had to use PTO to be off on a Saturday or Sunday."

- smp501

Run Fast

Joanne The Scammer Running GIF by Super DeluxeGiphy

"I feel like a lot of "Never turn your back on family" rhetoric is used by abusive people that think they shouldn't face consequences for their bullcrap."

- cyainanotherlifebro

The Hustle...

"Toxic "Hustle Culture": the idea that every moment you're awake, you need to be constantly achieving your goals and getting further in life. Please don't get me wrong: the idea that creating a side hustle, passion project or business on your own is fantastic and should never been discouraged."

"What I'm referring to is this attitude that ANY time not spent furthering your goals is a complete waste. Reading a book? Better make sure it's about an applicable skill for the future. Got two hours to spare? By the stars you better make sure to use them learning coding or a new language."

"It makes me cross because it's a fundamentally dangerous attitude that is advertised to younger folk, especially to those just entering their first jobs out of school or university. Burnout is a real issue that can cause exhaustion and isn't healthy. What really gets my goat is how it's an attitude permeated by companies. It's the whole "there's always someone hungrier than you, better do more to prove yourself."

"To quote Bill Watterson: "as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of someone's worth". It's an easy attitude to push: you keep the new workforce with a mind to work harder than each other to get more, which only discourages them from banding together for fundamental rights like healthcare or PTO. So if you took the time to read this, read a book YOU want, play a game or watch a series that YOU fancy. Not every moment has to be preparing for a never ending future."

- CapsuleJ7

I'm Sick

"I don't know about other places but in the US, Internships that delegate actual business responsibilities to interns but don't pay them. If your intern calling in sick would disrupt your workflow they're not an intern they're an employee and they deserve a wage."

- BATMANS_MOM

A Gamble

"Loot boxes and all forms of in-app, in-game purchases that are just dressed up gambling. Introducing minors to gambling with real money for the chance of unlocking that awesome character is pretty sick. Let's trigger gambling addiction in minors because our game is free and its the only way we can make money!"

- SparkyMountain

Better off Enemies

Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy

"Not having boundaries with family, particularly between parents and their adult children. I can't believe how frequently "...but they're family!" is used to rationalize and justify disrespect, manipulation, and various forms of abuse."

- prolific_poptart

"they love each other"

"Hating your partner/spouse. It's the dynamic of like 90% of on-screen relationships, that the couple have nothing in common and don't share interests and never do anything together without fighting constantly but "they love each other" so all the toxic, manipulative behavior gets played off for laughs or proof of how "strong" they are. Your partner should be your best friend. You should want to spend time with them. You should enjoy being around them. You should look forward to seeing them when you're apart."

- kirinspeaks

Under Pressure

"The inherent pressure to make your job into your life. I come from a south East Asian country where this is extremely normal especially in the more traditional toxic workplaces. Had a manager go on a rant about how us juniors were young and could afford to work hard, he then proceeded to compare us to other seniors who used to work until 12am everyday to learn the ins and outs of the business."

"Then saying that we should be like them and bragged about how he only used to sleep four hours a day back when he was starting out. My direct manager herself made me work at home despite being on sick leave and recovering from a nasty bout of fever. Just asked how I was feeling before diving straight into 'can you work from home now since you're not feeling too bad'."

- uwant_sumfu

Being Casual

"Casual peer pressure. I already said no twice to your offer of a drink, shut up. Ironically, my mom was deathly afraid of it when I was a teenager; some dealer would assuredly convince me to try bad bad drugs but now she's the worst offender."

- fasterthanpligth

"Are you me? My parents and older relatives made me terrified of peer pressure as a kid but now I can't be at any social function without them pretty much shoving alcohol in my hand. It's weird how persistent they are and how they act literally offended when I say no."

- piss-lemonade

Cheers...

Over It Drinking GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy

"Wine mom" culture. It's not cute, it's not quirky. "Mama needs a drink" isn't a personality trait."

- the_itz

Makes my skin crawl...

"This is just me, but my mom is manipulative. It's very subtle, but also very effective. She could easily be the nicest person on the planet, but instead chooses to use her incredible skill to get her way and be petty. I didn't notice it until recently and I've lived with her my entire life. Up until last year I didn't know why I couldn't stand to be around her."

- ZippyVonBoom

I Hate You

"Don't speak ill of the dead"

"Literally why? if someone was a bad person, then dying doesn't wipe off their sins."

- enumaelisz

Learn to run, and fast. When it doesn't feel right, trust it. Sometimes it's ok to not be ok or to be alone. Sometimes it's ok to not know every answer. The unknown is better than suffering because we're just used to it.

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We've all heard of intuition or premonitions or "seeing the future," and a lot of us have laughed at it at some point.

It's easy to disregard these images or feelings as a symptom of anxiety about something coming up.

But for some people, by listening to a gut feeling they had, they were able to save someone's life, possibly even their own.

Redditor guywhousesreddit09 asked:

"What was the 'gut feeling' that you listened to that saved your life?"

The Kiddie Pool

"My mom and grandpa were putting out a kiddie pool for my siblings and me in our backyard when we were little."

"My grandpa had set it up, and my mom kept insisting that for some reason, she felt like they should move it to a different spot."

"Thankfully they did, because while we were all playing in the pool, a huge branch from a tree in our yard snapped and came crashing down exactly where the pool had originally been."

- WaitWut7

A Questionable Passer-by

​"When I was around 13, I was walking to the bus stop in the morning. A car was going through my neighborhood very slowly, which made alarm bells go off in my head."

"When it passed me, I glanced over my shoulder to keep an eye on it and saw it was doing an immediate U-turn."

"I noped right out and dove through the bushes, crossed a bunch of driveways, and found a neighbor who was washing his car."

"I looked back to where I had been standing. The strange car had stopped, a seriously scary-looking dude had gotten out, and was looking in the bushes."

"I don't know if I would've died exactly, but I would not have had a good time."

- Symnestra

'Final Destination,' Who?

"I was driving uphill behind a flatbed truck carrying I-beams and I envisioned them sliding off the truck and hitting my windshield."

"I changed lanes so I wasn’t behind the truck and two seconds later, the I-beams were sliding off onto the road where my car would’ve been, sparking and gouging the pavement. Terrifying."

"To this day, I won’t stay behind a truck with anything that’s 'strapped down.'"

- Infj-kc

Thank Goodness for That Lock

"In middle school, I was up late one night. My mom and my brother were asleep, and my dad had gone on business. I had let the dog out, and when I went to go get him, I got a bad feeling like someone was out there."

"There wasn't really a reason to feel this way, it was just dark, and I got spooked, so I put the chain lock up on the back door when we got back inside. Back then, we never locked our doors."

"A few minutes later, the dog is drinking by the back door, and he suddenly stops and starts growling (like a low grumble) at the door."

"I was sitting where I could see the dog but not the door. Then I hear the door pull open and the chain lock catch."

"The dog started barking like crazy and I ran upstairs to wake my brother up. He went out and looked around, but no one was there."

"I think the dog's barking scared them away, but I don't know who it was or what would have happened if I hadn't locked the door."

- monaforever

A Mom's Close Encounters

"My grandmother accidentally saved my mom's life by not allowing her to go to a sleepover when she was young. During the night, the father murdered his entire family and would likely have killed my mother had she been there."

"Another amazing coincidence that I'm alive, is when my mother was in high school, she and her best friend were arguing over who was going to take a ride on the back of their guy friends' new motorcycle."

"My mom lost the argument and her friend got on the back of the motorcycle and rode away. She never saw them again because her friend and the guy were both killed in an accident during that ride."

- ekyrt

Wait a Second

"It was very late driving and there were minimal cars on the road, I came up to a red light, and as it turned green, something inside me said, 'Don’t go yet,' and a van blew through their red light."

- imbribecca

"Similar situation, but there were four of us in the car. My friend was driving and our friend in the back yelled to stop the car immediately even though we had a green light we were coming up on. A semi blew through a red light. He later said he felt like it wasn’t even him saying it and he had no idea why he yelled it other than a bad feeling."

- harlow2088

Mother Knows Best

"Not my life but my son's. I was 33 weeks pregnant and I noticed my son wasn't moving as much as usual. I waited a day and nothing changed."

"Despite advice by doctors and family saying I should just stay home and he wasn't moving as much because he was just running out of room to move, I went into the ER and had my son that night due to fetal distress."

"He had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck eight times and weighed just three pounds. He spent 30 days in the NICU and now is a happy two-year-old."

- Goatintree

An Insistent Friend

"A friend's feeling saved me from my gut."

"I had just finished hosting a meeting (I swear it was productive) and a friend said, 'You don't look so good.'"

"I had just come off a weekend boat diving in the Red Sea and figured I was just tired. My friend said, 'Nah man, I'm taking you to the doctor.'"

"The doctor at our clinic poked me a few times and said, 'Take him to the ER and tell them it's his appendix.'"

"I was in surgery less than 90 minutes later. My surgeon said I was two to three hours from it blowing up. I lived alone and no one would have missed me until the next day."

- ksuwildkat

A Night Walk

"About two years ago, my dad and I loved going on night walks, It was something we’ve always done more or less every night."

"One night, however, as we were about halfway through our daily route, we got to an alleyway. Now normally, I’ve never thought anything of it, but something this night just told me not to walk through, I had a really bad feeling and I urged my dad to just go back home."

"He kept brushing it off and saying I was just scared of the dark and nothing was going to happen. After a couple of minutes of arguing, we finally turned back and walked home."

"Turns out about 20 minutes after we left, there was a completely random attack in that exact alleyway that left a poor young girl stabbed, thankfully not to death, but with life-changing injuries. I still dread to think what would have happened if we didn’t walk back."

- No_Project6675

Definitely Not a Black Bear

"Up in Northern Pennsylvania, I had a gut feeling I needed to turn around and walk out of the woods I was hiking."

"That turned out to be a good idea because I saw the big cat that was tracking me on my way back out."

"I was hiking a stream up around Emlenton, PA, checking it out to see if it's wadeable for fishing. I didn't know y'all had any wild cats around there; I was just worried about black bears."

- abspencer22

Protecting Her Own

"Years ago, I went into my garden at night, after my husband had left for a road trip minutes before, and saw a pair of sneakers in the dark, in the gap between the fence and our house."

"I didn’t think, I just said very loudly, 'What are you doing there?' When he didn’t reply, I shouted, 'GET OUT OF MY GARDEN!'"

"He muttered, 'Yes, ma’am,' and scuttled off. Also not thinking, I picked up a BBQ knife that happened to be right there, went through the house to the front windows, and saw him crouched by my car in the driveway."

"I called the cops, they arrived, and we discovered that someone, probably the same dude, had just broken into our neighbor’s house and stolen a gun."

"The cops gave me a condescending talking-to about the ‘risks’ of confronting a criminal, but I am convinced to this day that my instincts saved me from a life-altering and horrible experience. We humans are animals and one animal knows when another will fight like h**l."

"We got an alarm system after that. And the guy came back several weeks later. I looked up to see him on our porch, about twenty feet from the sidewalk. Called the cops again. They sent a SWAT team this time. And a helicopter."

"They got the guy."

- Fair_Leadership76

Medicinal Negligence

"I was pregnant in the very early weeks (five or six weeks), and started getting these intense pains on the right side of my abdomen. Like so extremely painful that I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t make noise or move."

"I went to my doctor the next day, and he said I was being hysterical and it’s completely normal to be in pain when you’re pregnant. He refused to get me to an OB-GYN, and said I could go private if it was such a big deal."

"I went to a private scan, and my pregnancy was ectopic (stuck in my fallopian tube), and my tube had ruptured and I was bleeding internally. I was rushed to the hospital and had surgery to remove my tube that night."

"If I hadn’t booked that scan, I would have died in my sleep that night due to internal bleeding."

""I reported him for negligence."

- Murky_Conclusion4210

Potential Robbery

"A guy asked me for help with bus fare and offered to take me to an ATM. I got a bad feeling and dipped. Then I saw him on the news a week later for robbing somebody at gunpoint."

- BurghFinsFan

A Chillingly Close Call

"My wife was going to go on a road trip with friends down to a bigger city for a concert. She had done this several times before."

"Friends were close friends of ours but for some reason, I felt off about it that one day. I said to her, 'Babe, I don’t know why and you can ignore me if you’d like, but I don’t think you should go. I don’t know why, but I feel like something is going to happen.'"

"She knows I’d never tell her not to do anything she wanted. It was out of the blue and out of character for me. So she decided to stay home and watch movies with me."

"About two hours later after the rest of the crew left, we got a phone call that they had gotten into a severe accident. Two friends were in the hospital and someone from the other vehicle died on the scene. Had she gone along, she would have been sitting in the seat where they had been hit by the other driver and most likely killed."

"Someone, somewhere, somehow was warning me. And I’m glad we both listened to it."

- Sperryxd

Always Stop to Look at the Rainbow

"I was driving along a rough mountain road heading home from work. The mountain pass ends at a lake, and you drive around the lake to meet up with the main road."

"I got to the bottom of the mountain and started down the lake road, and saw this stunning bright rainbow over the lake."

"I had this weird gut feeling and urge to stop and look at it, with the way the sun was shining, it didn’t make sense that there would be a rainbow, but it was mesmerizing. So I stopped and stared at it in awe."

"A couple of seconds later, as soon as I looked back at the road, a massive boulder came barreling down off the cliff above about 20 meters in front of me, hit the road, and smoked all of the concrete barriers as it went into the lake. I 100% would have been killed if I hadn’t stopped."

- Epantz

These accounts gave us absolute chills as we read about other people's close calls.

We never know when our time will be up, so we absolutely have to be careful with the time that we have.

Paper heart ripped apart
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

The people who love you the most can break your heart because of their betrayal of trust.

Cheating is cowardly and inexcusable, but depending on the situation and the couple, it is possible for them to find a path to healing emotional wounds.

But there are some ways in which infidelity is totally unforgivable.

That's the kind of scenario Redditor WCh3L3 was curious to hear about when they asked:

"What’s the wildest cheating story you’ve witnessed or happened to you?"

It must be exhausting leading double lives.

Hospital News

"A friend of a friend found out that her husband was cheating when she got to the hospital to see her husband who had just moments before been brought in by ambulance after a serious car accident only to be denied entry to his room because 'his wife was already in the room with him.'"

"He had two simultaneous lives with two women, neither of which was aware of the other."

– JeBronlLames

The Ruse

"My ex-wife pretended to be admitted to a mental health ward for long term treatment while actually staying with her new man and cheating on me."

– Impossible-Visit-199

"This one is just next level."

– most-royal-chemist

"That’s some Batman villain level of intrigue and machination. His wife missed her calling and wasted her abilities on sleeping around."

– filifijonka

A Separate Life

"My friend's mom was in a relationship with a guy for years and they ended up getting engaged and due to marry."

"The guy was a senior director of a company for which he travelled every week abroad for business."

"Eventually, the guy had a heart attack and when my friends mom turned up at the hospital, his wife and 2 kids were there also."

"Turned out he was already married with children and living a double life the whole time. When he went 'abroad' for business, he was simply going back to his actual family."

– wallbagz

Here's The Story

"My dad did this. He worked nights and would juggle both families that way."

"He came clean after he got admitted to hospital for heart trouble and realised that if things went badly he’d end up in this exact situation."

"I was 16 when he came clean that I have an older brother and sister. They found out about me then too - as did his wife."

"ETA: I’d actually already figured it out before he told me though. Nobody else had."

"EATA: I saw a preview of a text on my dad’s phone from my sister. I didn’t know she was my sister obviously, but it said ‘hi dad, mum says…’"

"At first I was in denial and I thought his friend must have borrowed his phone or something. I started to watch him more closely."

"He had a ringtone (lol the 00’s) that would say the name of the caller. I noticed whenever a certain name rang he’d leave the room. Some tactical eavesdropping later and 15 year old me had it figured out that I had a brother and sister."

"I didn’t clock I had a stepmother though, or that I was family no2 and they were his primary family. But I still think I did pretty well!"

"My whole family on my mum’s side knew - mum respected that it was my dad’s secret to tell and she gave him time to tell it. (Although they did have a few arguments about it as I was growing up, I never knew what they were about at the time.)"

– notemily-

Life is never the same once the truth comes out.

Shameless

"A family friend's husband was having an affair for 20+ years and that woman knew the entire time about his family. He was at her ranch one time and was bucked off a horse and broke his back. The affair partner called his wife to tell her and acted like everything about this situation was normal and the wife had no reason to act all upset at the affair. Some people really just have no shame."

"Guy lived and made a complete recovery, left his mistress and they stayed together since they were working on their relationship. He died a few years ago and the wife finds out he never actually left his mistress just lied."

– SailoLee92

Unilateral Decision

"In a small town the husband kept telling people he had an open marriage; finally someone asked his wife about it, she was unaware of this new arrangement."

– Long_Strange_Trip_GD

Rehab Romance

"Was in rehab, two people were there for sex addiction one a minister the other a Jewish housewife. They left rehab together early. Woman divorced her husband who sent her to rehab for sex addiction and married the guy she met in rehab. They are still married 10 years later and seem very happy."

– Life-Evidence-6672

On The Case

"I knew a guy years ago that was a private investigator. Many times he was approached by a spouse who suspected their partner was cheating."

"He had a slam-dunk strategy. He would suggest his client sign up for a course, whether a hobby thing, or educational. The key was that the class would happen for a period of weeks, all on the same day of the week, and all at the same time of day."

"Then, while his client was in class, he would follow the spouse."

"Caught them every time."

– PJMurphy

If you have a hunch about an unfaithful significant other, it's there for a reason.

Going For A Run

"Had a coworker who cheated on her live-in boyfriend. She would tell him she was going for a run, put on her shorts without underwear and would f'k her side piece in the apartment parking lot. So then she would come back inside sweaty 30 mins later and needed to shower and it all made sense to her boyfriend, he never questioned it. She was an awful human."

– rashawah

It Made Scents

"A friend caught her husband cheating because he kept coming home smelling like ferrets."

"Hard to play off 'long day at work' and explain that."

"When she found out at a holiday party that one of the young female coworkers owned ferrets, it all made sense."

– benloe7

Special Delivery

"I used to go to a comic shop. And the comic shop owner knew all of the gossip in the area. Nice dude. Remembers all of his regulars and asks about you if he hasn’t seen you in awhile to check in on people. Lot of people in the area grew up with his shop. So he’s got stories."

"Anyways he told us about this story from some years back about this regular. Who disappeared for a few months. Comes back one day. And the shop owner asks him, 'hey, man. Haven’t seen you in awhile?' Kind of like where have you been. The regular was like oh I’ve been getting divorced. I had to move it was a whole thing."

"So naturally the shop owner asks. 'Why are you divorcing your wife?' The regular caught his wife cheating."

"He had picked up a 2nd part time job as pizza delivery man because he was trying to fund to take his wife on her dream vacation. All of the money he earned from that job was supposed to go into that vacation. He had been working this job for like 6 months. It was a whole secret. She didn’t know he was doing that for her. Because he was trying to surprise her."

"He was the pizza delivery man at the motel. She was cheating at him with. The dude she was cheating on him with answered the door with her right next to him."

"He apparently didn’t even go back to the pizza place. He quit on the spot. Went home. Packed his sh*t and left town."

– TheMysticalPlatypus

Those who are unfaithful in their relationships may think they're good enough for more than one person, but they're usually not.

And while you may not believe in it, there's something called karma, and watching it enact justice can be extremely gratifying.

If you were the one being cheated on, know that the person with whom you've fallen in love is not the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with and there will always be a better human who will respect you and love you.

And if you were the cheater, watch your back. Because whether you believe in it or not, karma's coming for ya.