Being a tour guide of any kind is sort of like being a parent to toddlers. And, as any toddler parent will tell you, they try to do three things simultaneously:
- Not listen to your directions.
- Get lost.
- Accidentally, but really on purpose, try to get themselves killed.
Now replace "toddler" with "full-grown adults" and you see the issues tour guides face on a regular basis.
Reddit user, [usernameredacted], wanted to know how things went wrong overseas when they asked:
"Tour guides of Reddit, what's the worst thing a tourist has ever done under your supervision?"
Can we all just agree that we should leave animals alone when they're out in their natural habitat? Please?
Don't Tick Off The Bulls
"I worked at a living history farm museum."
"I had a kid that was climbing on stuff the whole tour in the farm house and trying to get behind the Smith in the blacksmith shop during a demo."
"After the tour when people are allowed to roam the grounds, I hear his mom screaming and look over to the barn and this kid has climbed the fence into the field with our long horn oxen and is trying to poke them with a stick."
" I walk over and calmly told him to get out of the field before our lazy oxen decide they've had enough, but this jack off decides to look me in the eye and smack Ted on the butt with the stick like it's a riding crop."
"Ted, bless him, just kinda jumps a little and whips his head around with a WTF dude look on his face."
"But seeing as he's a long horn, he just wipes this kid out with one of his horns when he turned his head."
"Kid goes flying into the dirt and is having a melt down."
"Mom is freaking out. I'm like dude, get the hell out of the pen before Ted actually gets mad."
"So this kid is crying and trying to climb the fence out of the field and Bill, who has been watching this whole thing waits until the kid is almost over the fence and walks up to him and nudges him in the butt with his nose and pushes him off the top of the fence."
"It was everything I could do to keep from laughing."
"Kid was fine, Ted was fine, but the kid and his mom were promptly kicked out of the museum."
"Their dad and little sister were allowed to stay because she was well behaved and was just enjoying petting the goats at the petting zoo."
"So since the kid had to leave but his sister didn't there was a temper tantrum in the parking lot that could be heard all the way to the other side of the farm."
"But the oxen got some extra grain that night, so I guess they won in the end."- PtolemyShadowCrypto Bitcoin GIF by ProBit GlobalGiphy
"Tour guide at a university."
"Small group gets into our gardens where there's a big turtle pond."
"Girl gets excited and wants a close up of the largest snapping turtle."
"Girl loses her phone to the turtle and tries to get the university to buy her a new one."
"Girl was lucky she still has all her fingers..." - Bengmann
Yank, Yank, OW
"My cousin is a tourist guide and biologist, most of his tours are in Africa."
"He instructed his group of 20-25 people including kids not to wear any type of earrings or collars especially shiny stuff since they were about to go into a thick forest to try to see a bunch of animals."
"This is very important because 20-25 make a lot of noise which makes wild animals run away or hide, it's even worse if they're wearing shiny stuff they can spot from far away."
"Ok so this woman complains, decides to wear shiny earrings anyway, cousin tells her to get rid of them or she ain't coming with the group so she obeys but puts them on a bit later."
"Some species of monkeys in that area LOVE shiny stuff. They ripped the earrings from her ears."- shave_your_teeth_pls
Learn To Keep Your Hands To Yourself
"I was working on a tourist island in Australia when this man pulled out almost all the back feathers of a peacock because he wanted to keep one."
"He sneaked up behind it, and grabbed a huge handful and yanked them all out."
"He was immediately escorted off the island."
"The peacock had a huge bare patch and most of its beautiful feathers were gone :("- mugsandcoveveDance Dancing GIF by BBCGiphy
Punching Way Above Their Weight Class
"I had a guest, snorkeling try and grab the tail of a barracuda as he swam up behind it."
"Luckily I was able to hit the guest with a dive fin from the boat to stop him before he got ahold. If he had grabbed on, I’m sure he would have been ripped to pieces by that fish." - fkirwan82
You have to wonder what kind of people aren't going to listen to the tour guide. Honestly, it's not hard. Just don't do the thing they're telling you not to do.
Why Wouldn't You At Least Take A Swimming Lesson First?
"Former whitewater rafting guide."
"There's a calmer section of the river people can, if they choose to, hop out and swim through."
"They are wearing life jackets so you can just float through it."
"This woman decides she wants to try it and hops out."
"After she pops up she slowly tilts forward until just the back of her jacket is out of the water and she's completely still."
"After 5 or so seconds of this I start to realize this might not be intentional and paddle over and physically pick her head up above the water followed by her gasping for air."
"I haul her in the boat and ask what happened."
"She said she didn't know what to do as she'd 'never been submerged in water before'."
"1) why are you on a whitewater rafting trip?"
"2) why didn't your strategy involve moving your body?"- b771Giphy
Thankful For Teachers Every Day
"I used to work at a heritage site. It was an old military installation with a lot of remaining original structures (bunk beds, cafeteria equipment, computers etc.)."
"Everyday it was a constant effort to remind people (read: kids) NOT to jump on the beds, not to slam doors open, not to punch every button like it owes them money."
"The absolute worst was a group of kids on a school trip."
"Within the first ten minutes we're walking through the tech portion of the exhibit, where we had a wall lined with Burroughs large systems machines (B5000's), all behind this little fence about waist-high."
"I turn to demonstrate some of the pieces, and when I look back at the group one of them had jumped over the barrier, opened one of the units and started pulling out handfuls of digital tape from the reels inside."
"I just about jumped on the kid when their teacher did just that."
"She jumped the barrier, smacked the kids hands and took him outside."
"I immediately ended the tour and had them all refunded, as I couldn't imagine what else could happen."- sassymatty
But, of course, they don't listen.
And bad things happen.
You Tell Them What Would Happen, And Then It Happens
"I work at a brewery tap room and take people on brewery tours."
"During fermentation CO2 is produced and excess comes out through a run off pipe and into a water bucket."
"One of the attendees, who was being a pain and trying to be funny but nobody was laughing, asked me what the pipe was for, so I gladly explained."
"He then asked what would happen if he breathed it in... in disbelief of his stupidity I told him he would pass out/damage his brain, he then proceeded to grab the pipe and take a breath."
"He was then ejected and barred. Some people are just beyond belief."- tedandrassy
"Friend of mine does tours of whiskey museums in Dublin."
"Someone took a sh-t in one of the exhibition rooms."- Eoinoconn
You Get What You Deserve
"I work at the National Cathedral, and a tourist took a small votive candle, and lit their friend's hat on fire."
"It didn't spread or set off any alarms, but it got through most of his hat and almost caught his hair on fire."
"He was also really overreacting, and he threw his burned hat into the organ."
"The Cathedral suffered from earthquake damage in 2011, and we borrowed one of their ladders to get it down."-not_hacking12Fox Tv Fire GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy
"You're trying to seduce me... aren't you?"
"Bit late to the party, but what the heck."
"I gave tours in the French Quarter in New Orleans for about a year, and I had this one drunk older woman who kept nip-slipping and trying to flirt with me as I was trying to talk."
"It was really uncomfortable and kept throwing off my focus, but thankfully she wandered off about halfway through the tour."- Throway9591
We like to live dangerously
"Ran after a bear cub trying to get a picture."
"Was astonished after I yelled at them and asked 'are they dangerous?'
'Yes they are'."
"Two days ago I warned a few people about an agitated moose up the trail and two of them got excited and ran towards it with cameras while I tried to explain why that was an awful idea."
"Tourists f*cking crave death I swear to god."- plantoyo
Maybe I'll listen next time
"Not a tour guide, just an idiot."
"About ten years ago, my grandma took me and my sister on what we decided to affectionately call an 'Old People Bus Tour' out west for a couple of weeks."
"Our parents decided to come along as well because it seemed fun, and it totally was."
"We went all over and saw some really amazing sights, but when we got to Arches National Park, for SOME unknown reason my Monkey Brain kicked in and went 'IMMA CLIMB IT!' as soon as we got to the entrance of the first path."
"Thankfully, it wasn't enormously dangerous, but it wasn't until I spontaneously scaled the bottom half of the arch and turned around to sit proudly looking at everything that I saw everybody's faces and it clicked that maybe I should climb back down and knock it off."
"I wish I could use the excuse that I was just a dumb kid, but I was in my mid 20s at the time."- MyLaundryStinksFall Climbing GIF by KletterRetterGiphy
How long have you got?
"I was a tour guide in hollywood for a few years."
"I cannot even begin to choose a story."- adhominem4theweak
Putting everyone in danger
"Tour guide here, there was this one guy who tried to swim in the ocean at Peggy’s cove."
"As some of you may know the currents are incredibly strong and I had warned everyone to not even go near the ocean."
"But this one moron didn’t listen and I had to hall his a** back to shore."
"We both almost drowned."
Mind the gap
"So the tourist was in front of the tour guide."
"He said SHUT YOUR’E F*CKING MOUTH UP to a woman."
"I think was on a vacation with her child and she only yawned before She said SIR DO NOT SAY THAT INFRONT OF MY CHILD and she smacked him and he fell of the cliff and almost died."
"I went down and I said Sir are uh you okay?"
"He said NO IM NOT F*CKING OKAY YOU FUCKING DUMBASS."- f*ckboymigeee
Why do American tourists get such a bad rap?
"Not the worst on here but still bad."
"In between years one and two of uni, I took a job in a musem showing people around talking about the stuff on show."
"The group was behaving mostly ok, but this one American family, trying to touch things that out not be touched."
"And just being loud and obnoxious."
"I think I have it all under contorl untill we enter the Gree/Roman rooms."
"We have a replica Roman Legionary armor, weapon sheild and stick which held all the equipment."
"All in all its about 45KG (about 7stone) in weight for everything."
"Now this can be tried on to show people what Roman Legionaires had to go thorough on a march. we stopped to let those that wanted to, to try it on. now it was very clear that the dad, think Gun toting Texan from the Simpsons, was far to large for the armor, but i didn't say anything as even if he and his kin have been d*cks."
"I don't want to be rude."
"Anyway after it becomes clear even the helmet wont fit he gets moody and just drops it to the floor, lucky another group member caught it in time, and wanders of to 'look' at the real weapons that had been revoved from dig sites."
" Now one of the pride and joys of this museum is a fully intact Roman short sword with battle nicks showing that it had been used in battle, now these are far and few between, so anyone thats found is hightly exsiting for the Achaeologist that uncovers it."
"Anyway I am giving my speech about how far the Legionnaires had to march in a day and the set up of camps and the like, when there is a loud SMASH from the sword case,followed by the alarm going off."
" This dumb American had tried to prize open the case to get a better 'look' at it."
"There's lots of yelling as guards rush in."
" The damn fool still tried to pick it up but when he saw the guard rushing him he dropped it back into the stand THANK THE GODS IT DIDN'T BRAKE."
"He and his family were promptly kicked out and band for life but not before he offered to buy the sword."
"'I'll give y'all $20 for the thing and maybe we can for get the glass'."
"$20 you heard read it right."
"These things if sold, they really shouldn't be, go for 10 of thousands of pounds."- Emrys91·3y agoGIF by The Last TouristGiphy
When you Gotta go...
"Cave tour guide."
"South American man pisses on the floor during total darkness."- ZootZephyr
"Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?"
"Not a tour guide."
"Went on a Hot Air Balloon Tour of the Temecula Valley and our tour guide told us this story he experienced."
"For those that don't know, Hot Air Balloons have ZERO safety features for the passengers."
"You can fall or jump out very easily."
"So our guide was on a tour and somebody jumped out of the balloon."
"Turns out he had a parachute on."
"Don't remember exactly what happened to him, but he did get in legal trouble, of course."-
Who's the real animal here?
"I was on a trip to Thailand and we were at this Night Safari place, it wasn't a legit safari thank goodness, and we were all on the tram type thing and we went into the hyenas cage and this guy jumps out and tries to take a selfie with it."
"Luckily they were just fed and weren't as wild as the ones in the wild."
"He ran back as a few started to get up and yip."
"Afterward he was kicked out with no refund as you would expect."
"Some people just blow my mind."- SirDankiusthe lion king laughing GIFGiphy
Just follow the rules next time you're in a tour group?
It's that simple.
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Not all television and movies are loved by all.
A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.
It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.
Redditor BarooTangClan wanted to compare notes on all the entertainment we've said "that's enough" to.
"What will make you instantly stop watching a movie or show and why?"
I hate bad acting, writing, storytelling... I hate bad anything.
Stop JumpingFight Scene GIF by Operation FortuneGiphy
"Fight scenes with a million visual cuts. Gives me motion sickness. Contrast the absolutely masterful work in John Wick. long cuts, realistic use of weapons (mostly), 100% skill."
"When the actors whisper the whole movie and you have to crank the volume to hear what's being said - but the soundtrack or some other misc noise starts blaring at a higher volume directly after."
"I basically had to watch Stranger Things up in my attic with the windows and doors closed. I was worried the neighbors would think something was wrong or be annoyed if I watched it downstairs in my single family home. It was ridiculous."
"spice things up"
"Love triangles out of no where in a second or third season to 'spice things up' because studio writers are hacks and their idea of relationship drama is 'potential infidelity' at all times. It's the most tired trope on the go**amn planet and the second I see it rear its head I dip right the hell out."
"The whole concept of a love triangle to begin with an incredibly juvenile. Any healthy functioning adult who found themselves in a love triangle would soon choose to find themselves single."
Save your lips...
"When couples in a movie/show have a fight and one of them instantly goes to a friend and end up kissing her/him after talking for 5 minutes. I cringe so hard i turn it off and never watch it again."
"This pissed me off so much in Manifest. Girl is desperate to get back her ex-fiancé, he finally breaks up with his wife to get back with her and she's like 'nah, it's not fair to your wife, let me do this other dude I just met through a calling and be pissed at you for being jealous.' Michaela was the worst and everyone acted as if she were a saint the entire time."
Talk to MeIn Love Flirt GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Shows where a single polite conversation could fix everything."
We are going overboard with the witty repartee. Talk normal...
Shut UpScared Home Alone GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Annoying main character, especially if it's a kid."
"Kids who have a quippy, sassy retort to everything, and everyone just kind of crumbles before their wit."
"Shows where kids in high school talk like they are 30 years olds who have done everything, been everywhere, know it all and use a ridiculously flowery and extensive vocabulary in every conversation. Like, have any of these writers ever been to high school? Literally no one talks like that. Even worse is when, in addition to this, all the adults talk normal or are just plain stupid, like so weird parallel universe."
"If the movie is too dark. Not graphic, just literally dark. I lose all sense of intensity in dark scenes and I'm not straining my damn eyes trying to figure out what the hell is going on."
"I've seen about 10 percent of all DC movies recently. I've seen all of the individual films in full, just actually saw 10% of each of them."
"Movies in the late 80s had a lot of dark but you could see the depth because of different shooting techniques. Now you cant see crap because its a CGI fest drowned in black color so you can't see crap because you have no depth in a scene. Compare night scenes in dark alleys in 80's movies and movies now. Utter crap show in the new ones."
Pay Attention Storytellers
"Bad editing would be a big one. A lot of modern horror movies can't help but edit the movies like they're trailers, with added noises to scare the audience because they are afraid the script alone isn't enough to keep people watching."
"I remember this is where the first transformers movie lost me. When the transformers are fighting at the end, it's all a big, jumbled mess of metal and I can barely tell what's going on or who is who."
Dramawill devry soap opera GIF by General HospitalGiphy
"When they go straight to relationship drama right away when it wasn't the selling point of the show."
Do better, Hollywood. It's not that hard.
I fear death.
I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.
I think about it in my waking hours.
It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.
But there are more preferred ways to exit.
All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.
Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.
RedditorCallMehRiverwanted to hear about all the ways none of us what to leave this life.
"What Do You Think Would Be The Worst Death Imaginable?"
My list of the worst deaths is long. My imagination runs amok.
Trappedseason 6 friends GIFGiphy
"For me? Being trapped in a small tube or cave (like the ones you have to wiggle through) and getting stuck to where you can’t move your arms. And all you can do is wait to die. I’m getting chills just thinking about it."
"The more I hear about cavers that get stuck, the more I think that's a crap way to go."
"There’s a great YouTube channel called Ask a Mortician and this was her #1 worse way to die. I can’t remember the exact details or their names, but two well-known divers went into an underwater cave."
"One of them became entangled and died. Years later, his friend dives back down there to try and retrieve his body, the body itself is rotten and his head comes off and the other guy also becomes tangled and dies. Really sad."
A Long Process
"Believed to be in a coma but coherent through the whole 20 year process until they pull the plug."
"Oh man this just reminded me of a story I read on here about a guy who lost the ability to move and speak but was completely conscious. Had to just lay there and be awake but trapped in a useless body. His family thought he was brain dead or something and he couldn’t communicate to them that he was 'all there.' Crazy"
Slow & Steady
"Being slowly impaled by a growing bamboo. It was a form of torture probably used by the japanese during WW2 against Allied prisoners."
"The scariest part is that once you have symptoms, you 100% will die. A 100% mortality rate has to be a psychological torture in itself."
"Not only that, you feel irrational fear. Your brain is literally being eaten apart by the virus and it fu*ks up everything on it. You can't drink water because it hurts you. You feel dizzy, present a fever, excessively salivate, everything hurts and it only gets worse. I'd rather take a bullet and die when the symptoms are still tolerable."
Why can't we all just go engulfed in calm and quiet?
"Some pulpy sci-fi book I read a while back had one of the best deaths of this real piece of crap bad guy. Left to die in a drowning sea lab under the Antarctic ice, he freezes himself in a state of the art suspended animation pod with some kind cold fusion power source that would keep it running for millions of years."
"But he forgot to inject himself with the drug that would put him to sleep. So basically he is in suspended animation at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean while his mind is perfectly awake and conscious in a near unbreakable machine that won't run out of power for millions of years and nobody knows about it."
"As an RN I have always thought that the worst way to die (natural process) is ALS. Lou Gehrig's Disease."
"My mom and grandmother have Huntington's disease, which is essentially ALS, Alzheimer's, and Dementia combined into one really messed up genetic disease. I have a 50% chance of inheriting it and if I hit 40 and there's still no cure I can't promise I'll feel like continuing on with my life because that disease is absolutely freaking miserable."
"The fact your chromosomes can be so destroyed your body basically lost it's genetic code and with it the ability to make any new cells. It's literally a 'dead man walking' and you slowly rot away in agony. Stuff is so unimaginably f**ked up."
"What's also bad about radiation is that it affects your nerves and brain cells last, so you have everything in place to feel all the pain of the rest of your cells being destroyed."
GooNot Listening Season 2 GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"I want to believe anything that slowly kills you painfully to be the worst. Such as slowly being crushed or something where the pain is beyond compare and yet not enough to throw you into shock or unconsciousness."
"Alternatively, being rapidly crushed into goo would probably be the least painful. I'm talking one of those massive industrial hammers they use for large steel work. Basically smooshed before the nerve signals make it to the brain."
Now I'll never sleep again without nightmares of death.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.
However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.
One Redditor looked to foreigners to hear of their American desires to respond to the following:
"Non-Americans of Reddit: what is an American thing you have always wanted to try?"
The things depicted in film really captivated foreign audiences.
"To visit a diner like in the movies. In the middle of the night, it’s raining and just a few people there with great music from a jukebox."
Iconic Student Transport
"Ride a yellow school bus even if I'm too old. Growing up I always loved seeing them on TV."
Just Like The Ones We Used To Know
"A white Christmas."
"Living in an Australian state where I've never even seen snow in our winter, let alone experiencing that classic Hallmark movie moment of waking up to a street full of it and sitting around a fireplace while opening gifts/preparing a feast."
"Guess it's not strictly American, but the imagery and trope is something I've only really seen from American Films."
They may be ubiquitous for us, but they sure seem to be novel ideas to foreigners.
Let's Be Frank
"One of the hotdogs from those little street cart things."
"A friend of mine from Indonesia said, 'the food chewer in the sink.'"
"Apple Pie made by white-haired grandma, placed near window, who says 'oh dear...' as I levitate towards it."
"Proper tailgating before a ball game, the kind where there's ribs and stuff."
"Deep fried foods at a state fair. I'm from Scotland and we love to deep fry everything and I wanna know if it's just as good or better."
There are places to see!
Places To See
"America’s greatest invention!"
Backpacking In Nature
"I always wanted to hike The Appalachian Trail if that counts. Or see Yellowstone."
"Being able to start a whole new life 'elsewhere' without having to leave my country and going through an arduous immigration process."
My cousin told me she looks forward to visiting a Trader Joe's someday when she visits America for the first time.
Her bucket list option was hardly surprising. My parents used to bring treats from TJs as a novelty souvenir gift item, and my relatives ate it up. Literally.
Let's face it. The snacks at TJs rocks.
Even store locations in New York City would have ridiculously long lines during busy hours because the West-coast-based grocer was a novelty on the East Coast.
Many people work hard from the moment they are on the clock until their respective shifts are over at the end of a long day.
For many of those in the workforce, the wages barely sustain a comfortable living, especially for those who are raising a family.
Yet, there are jobs that are known to pay a higher salary without requiring extreme physical labor, or the requirement of higher education.
Curious to hear what those jobs might be, Redditor ImAMasterBayter asked:
"People Break Down Which Professions Are Completely Overpaid"
Extensive training requirements are not a thing, apparently, with these professions.
Daily Dairy Duty
"I watch milk powder go into a bag and out on a conveyor and get paid $37 an hour."
Eyeing Dirt In Motion
"Mine? I get paid $20.50 a hr to watch dirt go by on a belt all day."
The Handy Man Is Happy To Help
"I am a handy man that charges $50/hr with a 3hr minimum, a couple months ago I got a call for service that consisted of changing 9 smoke detector batteries, 2 light bulbs, and rehanging a picture. I felt bad taking the money but the guy couldn’t have been happier to have that stuff finally done. He asked for my card and is now a very good client."
Words From An Appraiser
"I make about 40 an hour after tax in the US as a real estate appraiser. You just need a college degree and a year of training and there is a huge shortage of appraisers right now."
"Edit because this post blew up: I only perceive this job as being overpaid because I used spent most of my 20's making pizza for minimum wage and imposter syndrome is a thing. Also, OP said he was looking for a possible career, and I felt like my job post was better than a troll post."
"Appraisers are not real estate agents or brokers. I do not buy or sell property."
"I do not, 'look at zillow and copy the number' and I don't just, 'make the number' in valuation. While I agree there are some appraisers who may lie or exaggerate, the same could be said of nearly any job. However, if I were to intentionally try hit some goal and got caught fudging the numbers, I'm looking at permanently losing my license and possible jail time depending on the severity. It's actually pretty common for me to, 'tank a deal' if someone is paying too much. This isn't the wild west of valuation anymore; FIRREA is a thing now. Appraisal reports aren't just 3 pages of photos with a cover page anymore; my typical appraisal is 30-50 pages with long boring typed pages of market data that I type and research myself."
"Let's talk about the appraisal gap. In most of the US, we are experiencing a, 'sellers market' meaning houses are selling for higher than what they normally sell for. A lot of people at this thread are blaming appraisers for driving housing prices up. Let me be perfectly clear about this: appraiser's valuations are based off of past data. That is it; we look at closed sales from the past. Realtors and brokers speculate on future markets, because they are motivated by profit. If anyone is driving this current market trend, it is the people buying properties over listing price, local government/laws willingness to allow foreign investors, the people who are raising rents, and the people who are making big risky developments. The appraisers have little to nothing to do with market perception of value; in my area at least many market participants are paying over 30% of listing price. Trust me when I say these people are not satisfied when my appraised value comes in less than that."
"The hardest part of the job is definitely the occasional angry phone call. Let's look at an example. Say someone lists their house at 100k, and they accept an offer for 150k, or 50% over listing. Well the appraisal is based off of past closed sales. The bank will only finance up to the appraised value. So if the appraisal comes in at 110k, meaning the subject in relation to comparable sales from the past year in the subject neighborhood equate to roughly 110k, they will either need to renegotiate the price, or be willing to put up 40k of their own money."
"In a sellers market, it's often better to accept a deal with better financing than a higher price. Let's say in this situation instead of taking the 150k offer with a mortgage, you take a smaller offer for 140k that is all cash, no financing. Well if there is no financing involved, meaning no bank, than no appraisal is needed."
Landing work in software seems to be like hitting the jackpot of success.
"I’m in software sales, software sales. Coworker got 100k commission on a deal."
"There are an incredible amount of 'analysts' who just 'own' automated excel sheets they received from developer teams."
"Low to mid six figures is common in HCOL areas."
The Successful Client
"I do the tax returns for a guy who paid 20k for demographic research software and made something like 40M over the last 3 years. His costs are almost nothing and admitted he does like 5 hours of work a week on it."
"I got more likes and comments than I thought I would, and wanted to add some more detail. The guy himself is super nice and easy to work with. It's hard not to feel jealous even though I make good money myself. His business and personal returns are super simple so we don't even charge him that much for them."
"The software is something proprietary he paid a third party for, and I don't know the name of that developer. The data output is sold to political campaigns and he's compensated more if the campaign wins. He did have some clients on both sides but now exclusively works on one side of the aisle."
Salaries in the world of academics got a closer inspection.
"University administrators and board members."
A Stark Contrast
"I'm a professor. I love it. But the 'president's office' contains a staff of 5 people with a total payroll of just under $500k/year. Meanwhile, all the PhDs, MFAs, and DMAs who teach all the classes, advise all the students, and serve on all the committees bring home a whopping $50k-$65k/year, dependent on rank, tenure, etc. It's real fun...
"The president of my institution makes a approximately $500k/year and is provided a house on campus alongside reserved parking if he so chooses to use it. He also gets a country club membership. Meanwhile I have to pay $200 to park at the school where I TA and do research, and I get paid maybe 1/20th of what he does. I genuinely do not understand why the f'k the dude who makes six figures doesn't pay for parking, but I do."
"Edit: that should be half a million."
Some of the cushiest jobs that require less time actively toiling away seem to be paying significantly more than the average livable wage offered in the US.
Perhaps the biggest indicator of what that might be was summed up best by Redditor iadasr, who said:
"Whatever you guys are all doing that lets you browse Reddit all day..."