I don't know who needs to hear this, but you're not a kid anymore.
You can't get up to the same weird shenanigans that you did when you were 10- our old, adult selves are no longer built like they once were.
And sometimes you're reminded of it a little too much.
Redditor antglin asked:
"What was your most "I'm too old for this sh*t" moment?"
Going back to college at 25 with a ton of teenagers.
Talk about drama.
Going back to college, then thinking after seeing today's crowd of freshmen, "when did this school allow middle schoolers on campus?"
Hangovers are worse when you're over 21.
Went to a party Saturday night.
I'm still hungover.
Right. What the hell? You woke up hungover in high school and it was like a sweet victory and you're were amazed by how hard you partied. Today, you're not firing on all 4 cylinders until Thursday.Giphy
Working at a Amazon Fulfillment Center. Just turn 56, will be leaving them in the middle of February 2020 and I can't wait for that to happen. Just have to make it through peak.
The reason I'm waiting until February, I can do the buy out and leave with a extra $5,000.
When whole adults act like high schoolers.
When my coworker (known for gossiping and stirring the pot) texted me out of the blue and said "we're not friends anymore, we're just coworkers".
I didn't even respond, just thought "nope too old for any of this". I still don't know what I did wrong and I don't care.Giphy
The last time I stayed at a hostel. The people who go out and then come back in at like 2am and use their phones as a flashlight, plus the thin walls and even thinner mattresses mean no sleep.
I'm young enough that I still wanna save a buck on lodging, but old enough that my back and nerves can't deal.
When I got called a boomer on the internet
Anyone can get called a boomer. Even Gen Z kids call each other boomers.
I needed to hear this.
When I first realized I do not owe people a long, in-depth analysis/explanation about Anything.
You ever have work acquaintances that pry about your personal life. When you're young you over share, giving your rivals a way in.
Being disagreeable is a skill set not every adult attains, and limiting information and keeping choice individuals at arms length is key to not getting walked all over. To quote El-P "Fuck the world don't ask me for shit".Giphy
Going home and sleeping is the better option.
Standing in a crowded club that smelt like a mixture of cheap vodka, b.o., and the fog from those fog machines. Girl drunkenly waves at me, "hey can you take a picture of me and my friends?"
Homegirl wasn't wearing shoes. I just wanted to go home and sleep.
Irish goodbyes are liberating.
Was at a concert in a nightclub. My pregnant wife was at home, I had work the next day, and didn't want to pay 7$ for a crappy beer. I didn't feel like drinking or like fighting the crowd to be in the front. Why was I there? I did an Irish exit and got a good sleep that night.
As opposed to the British goodbye: you loudly tell everyone you're leaving over and over, but then keep not quite actually going out the door.
I turned 24 two Saturdays ago. I bought a 6 pack on Friday night. Come Sunday night, 4/6 were still remaining.
Never too old for Halloween!
I went trick-or-treating when I was 15 (I dressed up as Perry the Platypus). As I was walking around with my little sister (9) and her friends, I met some of my classmates passing out candy. I had never felt more shame.
This one has a happy ending.
Went with a friend (we'll call her "Dee") to a mutual friend's wedding (the groom) in my old town. I was also pretty good friends with the bride. You could argue that Dee went as my "plus one" because Dee had not gotten an invitation, but she and I and the groom used to hang out ALL THE TIME for the better part of a year just a few years prior.
Note: such hanging out involved such exciting activities as binge watching Family Guy and going out to get Applebee's late at night, it had stopped a good year before the bride and groom even met; that's possibly important. Also, I'd moved across the country a year earlier.
It was a good time and a nice ceremony and I got to catch up with old friends. Dee and I skipped the reception because of distance and the amount of time it was after the ceremony.
So we instead opted to go see other mutual friends together. It was a great, quick trip.
Two weeks later I'm back across the country and Dee calls me while I'm out to eat. She's sobbing like crazy and tells me that the bride from the wedding had sent her a vicious email.
Apparently the bride was beyond furious that she had showed up to the wedding because the bride, somewhere in the two previous years, had gotten the idea that Dee was spreading rumors about her and her maid of honor.
I don't know how effectively I can convey here that this was ABSOLUTLEY NOT TRUE and so baseless it confounds me to this day. The bride apparently called her all kinds of horrible names and said Dee ruined her honeymoon because she was so incensed.
I came home to an email also from the bride that was calling me a terrible friend for bringing Dee to her wedding because "you know how I feel about her and the kinds of things she's done!" (Again, let me emphasize, ALL OF THAT WAS BASELESS AND (TO ME) OUT OF NOWHERE!).
Prior to this stage in my life I'd have gotten worked up, responded to the drama, pushed back, the whole package. Instead I saw this stupid high-school-level drama for what it was, how it wasn't worth arguing for the defense of Dee or my "decision" to bring her to the wedding, and that (as unfortunate as it was) my friendship with this bride and groom was over.
I deleted the message.
I called Dee and advised she do the same, which she did. Neither of us have had contact with that woman or her husband in 12 years, now.
Fun fact: Dee ended up moving to the city I lived in after all this, under unrelated circumstances, and a year after that we started dating and are now married. That's how I can say with assurance that Dee is innocent of the accusations leveled at her: nothing in her character in all the years I've known her, and known her well, have suggested that's in her nature.
I was at the tail end of my going on too long party years and I had quit shots by that point. I explained to a 21 year old who asked why I wouldn't do shots that the hangover at my age would be too brutal. They were unaware until then that as you age hangovers get worse.
When an old coworker tried to start sh*t by spreading rumors about me. I don't deal with that bs, so I confronted her to her face and asked what her issue was and if we could talk about it. She stood there dumbfounded and then abruptly said "I have to pee" and dipped.
She hasn't spoken to me since then, even though we continued to work together for another few months before I quit to take on a better position.
Funnily enough, she's actually my aunt-in-law now (I'm dating her husbands nephew - she's 28 and I'm 20, for context on that) which was the case before all of this but I wasn't going to dump my boyfriend because of her, so I still have to see her at family functions. But she's too scared to even look me in the eye so it's not really an issue.
Just remember these words to live by, folks.Giphy
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There are things men do that easily annoy the opposite sex, simply by being a guy.
"That's such a dude move," or "typical male," can be examples of snide remarks made following disapproving gender-specific behavior.
"What is something most people think only men do, but actually women do as well?"
Get ready for some misconceptions to be turned completely upside down.
Time For Tootin'
"For years I thought ladies didn’t fart. My mom told me that so it had to be true. It didn’t matter that I was a girl and farted. I thought there was just this magical age where girls turned into ladies and stopped farting."
"Apparently even when my mom did fart, I’d whip my head around and go 'ewwww dad!' Mom found it hilarious, dad not so much. Then one day I was in the bathroom with my mom (cause who trusts a four year old for longer the two minutes by themselves?) and I heard it: The quiet mythical fart from a lady."
"Oh Lordy, I told everyone! Everyone needed to know that ladies do fart, even my mom and she’s a lady! Dad found it hilarious, mom not so much."
"The weird side step."
"Sometimes when I wear really short shorts, my butt cheeks start 'eating' my shorts and I have to try my best to make a discreet weird side step to adjust it..."
Assuming The Position
"Keep hand in pants in a non sexual way when just chilling."
It's A Pleasure
"I grew up thinking women couldn’t masturbate only men could. In middle school I searched up women masturbating and bro my jaw dropped."
Redditors share their thoughts about men and women keeping up with appearances.
Keep It Smooth
"Shave their face."
"I feel like women even keep this a secret from each other until you find out someone else does too or how common it is. Even still most women will rename it as “dermaplaning”. Such stigma around it."
Checking The Fitness Progress
"Flex in the mirror."
"Be dirty and lazy."
"I've worked in customer service most of my life, and can easily say that women's restrooms are an absolute nightmare compared men's restrooms 95% of the time. Like seriously, just throw your tampons in the trash, and wipe up your blood please; you've got a whole roll of tp 6 inches from your elbow."
"Check out women."
"Even straight women check out women. Source: am a straight woman… I think."
Just a thought, or may two or three.
Chivalry Is Non-Binary
"I just said this on another thread but, having fantasies about saving people or sacrificing yourself for them."
Revved Up Without Warning
"Get horny over nothing or randomly."
"Seem to be in deep thought but is actually just gaping at a wall with zero thoughts. Alternately, may be thinking of somethings completely random. That meme about the wife thinking the husband is probably thinking if another woman, when in reality he's thinking of something random ? Ya, as a woman, I relate with that husband."
Locker Room Talk
"Talk and joke about sex. I can’t speak for everyone, but I find girls talking about it more than guys."
"Heck, at one point we were having a little bonfire, and one couple got up to leave. My friend’s wife asked if they wanted to play Among Us when they got home, and the other girl just turned around and casually said 'Nah, this is usually about the time we have sex.' To which my friend’s wife responds 'Oh yeah, we just did that this morning.'”
The point is, all genders are capable of similar behavior that people have been socialized to exclusively associate with men.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
We are all equally guilty of being a little naughty, regardless of gender. So get over it.
It still amazes me that we live in a world where people are charged for drinking water. Water is a necessity! I have a lot of disdain for companies like Nestle, which siphons millions of gallons of water from entire communities only to sell it back to them.
What the hell is up with that? Does that not sound dystopian to anyone else? Okay, then. Water should be free – this should not be controversial.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor that_boy_ste asked the online community,
"You can make one thing/service free for the entire planet. What are you making free?"
"Healthcare would be awesome..."
"Clean drinking water, sadly. Healthcare would be awesome and if that covers water since water is essential for health, then yes!"
*cries in American*
"Because there are..."
"Education. Because there are entirely too many ignorant people on this planet."
That and over time this resolves literally every other problem...
"...so children and adults..."
"Education, so children and adults who are not able to go to school or afford to can now do so."
I wonder how much society could have advanced if education were free
"It's already free in my country..."
"Healthcare, it's already free in my country, but I want people in all the world to be healthy."
Life would improve pretty quickly for so many people if this were the case.
"Basic housing: floors, walls, ceilings and a roof, running water, working drains, electricity, heat and air conditioning, cooking facilities, refrigeration, etc."
Though this is "basic" by American standards, which is pretty good by many developing world standards, it should be the basic minimum for people everywhere in the world.
"Clean, free energy..."
"Clean free energy is the best answer. Everything else posted here requires energy to produce."
Everyone is focused on helping people in their day-to-day lives. Free clean energy would help the planet long-term.
"I live in America..."
"I live in America, so I’d have to say hospital stays. Healthcare in general. Moved away from family shortly before Covid, got Covid real bad shortly after. Had no debt. Started my adult life $3,500 in the hole. Yeah, free healthcare."
The debt trap people fall into just because they needed to go to the doctor or hospital is so predatory and wrong.
"Based on my narrow view..."
"Based on my narrow view of the world, housing is my biggest expense. So based on that logic, housing would make the biggest difference. Although, if you consider Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, physiological needs are more important."
I was looking at some budgeting advice the other day. They suggest your housing expenses should be 30 percent of your pay. I laughed and laughed and laughed.
"Transportation. If moving things from one place to another had no cost we could reduce the cost of everything else AND eliminate regional scarcity of most commodities."
Indeed it would! A game-changer if put into practice.
"Therapy is very essential..."
"Hmmmmmm I'd say, therapy, therapy is very essential and can help greatly."
Human behavior has gotten us into most of our world problems, and behavior change is one of the hardest things to accomplish. Therapy is just the tip of the iceberg, but would help at a large scale if free.
Human beings have boundless potential. The world isn't perfect — remember that there's no law saying that things need to remain as they are. Humans have always innovated and reaped the benefits in the long run.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
When I was a kid, I would occasionally watch this show called Big Bag. It went off the air more than 20 years ago and it seemed to only play at five or six in the morning. If I happened to wake up early, I'd catch it. It was targeted toward preschool viewers and was fun and silly, a partnership between Cartoon Network and what is now the Sesame Workshop.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person who remembers it existed. But I'm not the only one with this kind of dilemma.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor LegitimateMangoHeir asked the online community,
"What's a show from your childhood that no one else seems to remember?"
Sagwa The Chinese Siamese Cat (2001)
"I thought Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat was a fever dream for so long."
Probably because it only had a single season! Might as well have vanished off the face of the earth after that.
"Hamtaro. For the LONGEST time I distinctly remembered watching the show but couldn't remember what it was called or anything else. I remember having a revelation in middle school and going "IT'S REAL???"
It certainly was real! And it was quite possibly the cutest thing to ever be broadcast on our television screens.
"There's a specific age group that really enjoyed Gargoyles."
Hi, it's me. I'm the age-group. There are dozens of us!
Mummies Alive! (1997)
"Mummies Alive! That and Gargoyles were my favourites to watch after school."
Another one that aired for a single season, it was part of a general trend of "mummymania" in 1990s pop culture.
Out of the Box (1998)
"Out of the Box. So long, farewell, to you my friends."
This one had a good run. That theme song is now in my head.
Count Duckula (1988)
"Count Duckula. The best damn cartoon ever!"
I hadn’t heard that theme song in decades and I was just transported back to my childhood room.
Maggie and the Ferocious Beast (2000)
"Maggie and the Ferocious Beast. Great googly moogly!"
O Canada! This one was cute!
Stick Stickly from "Nick in the Afternoon" (1994)
"Anyone remember Stick Stickley on Nickelodeon? I even remember the jingle but everyone I talk to looks at me crazy!"
Write to me, Stick Stickley, PO BOX 963, New York City, New York State, 10108!
The Angry Beavers (1997)
"The Angry Beavers. People look at me like I’m a psycho when I mention it."
This one — along with CatDog — was super popular!
2 Stupid Dogs (1993)
"2 Stupid Dogs. Well, ain't that cute. But it's wrong!"
I quote that line at least once a day. I loved that show.
You should probably run to YouTube and take a trip down memory lane. Thankfully, many of these are available in some capacity for you to enjoy!
Have some shows you love that you'd like to mention? Tell us more in the comments below!
You know what would be great?
If "family influencers" didn't exist. I don't know what people get out of watching people do their shopping and raise their kids, but it sounds boring as hell. Oh, and did I mention that the children have pretty much no privacy from the moment they're born? Yeah... that'll be a treat for them to comprehend when they're older.
But there are a host of other things out there that are just as annoying. People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor RAZOR314 asked the online community,
"What modern trend do you absolutely hate?"
"News agencies writing articles..."
"News agencies writing articles about "all these people are saying X" when it's just a few random people on Twitter, and generally the trend of amplifying fringe theories, beliefs, conspiracies, etc."
I think one of the unfortunate developments in the modern media landscape is the obsession with Twitter. I think it really exacerbates some current issues of representation in the media.
"I hate these videos..."
"I hate those videos with a split screen and something interesting is happening on one half, while an 'influencer' is literally just watching on the other half."
"I do not give a single f*ck about the influencer. I just want to see the thing on the other side. You know, the thing worth reacting to."
So true. They can't create worthwhile content so they "react" to the worthwhile content.
"People recording when they should be helping."
Sometimes recording does help — look at all the instances of police brutality that have made national headlines — but it's not when people are recording for likes, views, clout etc.
"The abundance of unskippable ads on videos. I 100% guarantee I will actively try to not buy your product if you're interrupting what little precious time I have to watch something."
Yes, it makes me so angry. Stop wasting my time. I will click out of something so fast.
"Corporations buying single family homes and turning them into rentals."
And people wonder why there's a housing crisis.
"All controls in a car being through a touch screen."
"For driving safety I wanna keep my eyes on the road, and want to find controls (like window wipers, radio by touch. With a touch screen, I have to look to see if I am touching the right place on the screen for the control I want."
Yes! It's an unnecessary design change, honestly more trouble than it's worth.
"The fact that EVERYTHING is a f*cking ad."
There are many ways to get around that and you can learn about it in my new book How to get rid of ads (free with your Amazon Audible trial).
"Subscription services. Everything nowadays is being turned into a monthly bill."
It's awful. And everything is so expensive. Why bother having all these subscriptions in the first place, right?
"The abundance of people trying to be influencers/streamers, while the majority of them are about as interesting as a boil."
To be honest, most people would rather watch the boil.
We live in a pretty cool world. It'd just be better if most of this stuff didn't exist.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!