Kids really are something and they do say the darndest things. Especially toddlers, who haven't quite gotten past the "not everything is life or death" stage of development.
Toddlers will often scream and cry when the slightest things are out of place. And while that is going down, they won't listen to reason. It's all you can do to dry and get your toddler to listen at all.
Here were some of the answers.
The Crying Loop
Out doing a little bit of shopping with my 3 year old. I'm just merrily pushing the cart along when she suddenly stops at the start of the next aisle and starts screaming bloody murder.
Being the ever concerned father, I all but trip over myself to get to her.
"BabyGirl, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Why are you crying? Did you step on something?"
"NO, I'M SCARED!"
"Why are you scared?"
"BECAUSE I'M CRYING!"
...And this went on for about 5 minutes. And then she just stopped, smiled, and said "Ok, let's go!" We finished shopping without incident, and I still can't figure out what happened. I'm leaning towards aliens.
The Pinecone Tragedy
My son is now four but a couple years ago I took him camping. We were taking a hike and he just started pointing at something and SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF. It was a pine cone. He was terrified of it. Then every other one he saw, he would flip out. I took him camping again last year and he is over it.
There Is No Right Answer
She's a bit young for words so I'm going off wriggles and tears but. She wanted to be put down, but when I put her down she cried and asked to be picked up. But when picked up would try to wriggle free of my grasp.
Repeated this a few times until I realised I couldn't win.
She Sure Told Us
When my three year old is mad she tells us, "I'm never coming to your birthday party!" She just had one and it was awesome so she figures that must be a good way to get us back in line.
The Perils Of Dairy
One of my friend's kids had a full on meltdown because she hadn't eaten her ice cream yet. Not that she COULDN'T eat it. She could. It was right in front of her; it was her dessert. But the fact that she had to go through the process of eating the ice cream in order to get the end point of having eaten the ice cream (and being happy) seemed intolerable to her.
Watching little humans come to grips with cause and effect is mind blowing.
Teeter Totter Toddler
Every time it's bath time my 3 yo cries and screams that the water is too hot and she wants it cold. This starts as soon as she goes in the bathroom and before she even touches the water. After about 2 months of her crying about the water being too hot I finally gave her a cool bath and within 30 seconds of her being in the tub she said "well maybe I want a little warm water". No complaints since about her water being too hot.
Like a week ago my daughter and I were in the Target parking lot walking to our car after a small purchase.
I let her hold the receipt. She actually dropped it and the wind picked it up and blew it out into the street into heavy traffic.
"DADDY! DADDY! WE HAVE TO GO GET THE NOTE!"
"Sorry, sweetpea, it's in the street, we can't get it. It's gone."
For like 20 minutes she cried about that receipt. She even asked if we could go home, get her magnifying glass toy and come back and look for it because that's what you do when something gets lost.
Even a week later she still brings up the Lost Note. "Daddy when we go back to Target can we look for the receipt?" Good grief.
Not my child, but it's my niece.
She said she wanted milk so I made her a cup of it. Came back. She said she didn't want it. Threw a fit because she didn't want the milk. I told her she's the one who asked for it. She literally stopped crying and went, "oh" took the milk and went back to watching her iPad.
Another one would be that I gave her milk but the cup was freshly washed. Didn't think a few drips of water on the side was going to cause trouble. Nope. She screamed and cried because she got a DROP OF WATER on her hand and didn't want to wipe it on her shirt...
He Just Wanted Agency
Son (2 years, almost 3) woke up last week at 3AM, screaming that he "wants to go outside and come inside his own self."
Over more than an hour of working through it, I came to understand that he had been dreaming that I had brought him inside, and he didn't want to come inside yet - so he assumed I knew exactly what the problem was, since I was the cause of it.
I tried to rationalize with him that it was dark outside, and we should go back to bed - no dice. Toddlering intensifies. So ultimately my wife (who had woken up in the midst of the tantrum) and I took him out to the balcony at the back of the house, and let him see that it was a) dark and b) ice cold outside. Then he came back inside, sniffled, and went back to sleep.
My niece is like 2yrs old and I picked up in her little rocking horse thing and "flew her" around the room last weekend. She definitely enjoyed because she kept looking at me and yelling "up." I made that horse fly around until my arms couldn't handle it anymore.
Apparently she has been yelling "Up!" at all adults since I left and then crying/screaming when she doesn't get flown around.
Too Bored To Function
My daughter went to the bathroom to pee and came out 30 seconds or so later crying. Why? She had been bored sitting on the toilet waiting for all the pee to come out and it occurred to her that she had a whole life of being bored sitting on the toilet for 30-second increments while waiting for all the pee to come out.
Who Will Do The Mowing?
Our mower was serviced. The guy came and picked up the mower and was to drop it off afterwards. My son cried for 30 minutes solid then off and on every 5 to 15 minutes until he dropped it back off. I tried explaining that he was only fixing the mower and would bring it right back to him. My sobbing almost 3 year old would reply, while wiping his tears, "okay. I'm okay. It's okay".
Wash, rinse, repeat for 2 hours.
The Cat ProblemGiphy
My 2 year old was hysterical this past weekend because the cat puked on the floor right in the path of how she gets into the kitchen. She went on about how she can never go into the kitchen again, and the floor is ruined.
This wouldn't have been so bad had I not told her that the cat pukes all the time and we just clean it up. She then was inconsolable because the house was ruined and we have to move. She said she couldn't live in this gross house anymore. She refused to walk for several hours and cried every time we put her down on the floor.
Finally she got some candy and forgot about the whole thing.
More Cat Problems
Stepkid woke up in the middle of the night screaming because she didn't want the cat in her room with her. The cat that sleeps in her bed with her every night. We took the cat out and then she was screaming because the cat wasn't in there with her.
She also did the same thing because she confused her cat with the other cat and didn't want the other cat in the room. (They're both black but one is small and fluffy and the other is huge, short-haired, and a bit of an asshole)
If The Bread Can't Do It, No One Can
I have a picture somewhere of my then 18 month old throwing a fit because he couldn't reach a piece of bread I gave him. He threw it, then threw himself down to throw a fit, and cried harder because the bread wasn't right next to him. Had he just straightened his arm out he would have reached it no problem.
He Tried So Hard
Best one to date;
He's almost 2 and is super tall. He has differed our how the locks on our sliding door in his playroom work. We were having a lazy Sunday in our pjs because it was storming like mad outside. Thunder, lightening, wind and extreme rain all day long. While I was washing dishes he managed to unlock the door and run outside in his footie pajamas to try to play in his car. He was almost blowing away in the wind I brought him back in kicking and screaming and soaking wet in his footies.