Kids really are something and they do say the darndest things. Especially toddlers, who haven't quite gotten past the "not everything is life or death" stage of development.
Toddlers will often scream and cry when the slightest things are out of place. And while that is going down, they won't listen to reason. It's all you can do to dry and get your toddler to listen at all.
u/Someone_Somewhere1 asked:
Redditors with toddlers, what's the most recent illogical breakdown they've had?

Here were some of the answers.
The Crying Loop
Out doing a little bit of shopping with my 3 year old. I'm just merrily pushing the cart along when she suddenly stops at the start of the next aisle and starts screaming bloody murder.
Being the ever concerned father, I all but trip over myself to get to her.
"BabyGirl, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
"I'M CRYING!"
"Why are you crying? Did you step on something?"
"NO, I'M SCARED!"
"Why are you scared?"
"BECAUSE I'M CRYING!"
...And this went on for about 5 minutes. And then she just stopped, smiled, and said "Ok, let's go!" We finished shopping without incident, and I still can't figure out what happened. I'm leaning towards aliens.
The Pinecone Tragedy
My son is now four but a couple years ago I took him camping. We were taking a hike and he just started pointing at something and SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF. It was a pine cone. He was terrified of it. Then every other one he saw, he would flip out. I took him camping again last year and he is over it.
There Is No Right Answer
She's a bit young for words so I'm going off wriggles and tears but. She wanted to be put down, but when I put her down she cried and asked to be picked up. But when picked up would try to wriggle free of my grasp.
Repeated this a few times until I realised I couldn't win.
She Sure Told Us
When my three year old is mad she tells us, "I'm never coming to your birthday party!" She just had one and it was awesome so she figures that must be a good way to get us back in line.
The Perils Of Dairy
One of my friend's kids had a full on meltdown because she hadn't eaten her ice cream yet. Not that she COULDN'T eat it. She could. It was right in front of her; it was her dessert. But the fact that she had to go through the process of eating the ice cream in order to get the end point of having eaten the ice cream (and being happy) seemed intolerable to her.
Watching little humans come to grips with cause and effect is mind blowing.
Teeter Totter Toddler
Every time it's bath time my 3 yo cries and screams that the water is too hot and she wants it cold. This starts as soon as she goes in the bathroom and before she even touches the water. After about 2 months of her crying about the water being too hot I finally gave her a cool bath and within 30 seconds of her being in the tub she said "well maybe I want a little warm water". No complaints since about her water being too hot.
Like a week ago my daughter and I were in the Target parking lot walking to our car after a small purchase.
I let her hold the receipt. She actually dropped it and the wind picked it up and blew it out into the street into heavy traffic.
"DADDY! DADDY! WE HAVE TO GO GET THE NOTE!"
"Sorry, sweetpea, it's in the street, we can't get it. It's gone."
"..........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooOOO!!!"
For like 20 minutes she cried about that receipt. She even asked if we could go home, get her magnifying glass toy and come back and look for it because that's what you do when something gets lost.
Even a week later she still brings up the Lost Note. "Daddy when we go back to Target can we look for the receipt?" Good grief.
Mooooooooove On
Not my child, but it's my niece.
She said she wanted milk so I made her a cup of it. Came back. She said she didn't want it. Threw a fit because she didn't want the milk. I told her she's the one who asked for it. She literally stopped crying and went, "oh" took the milk and went back to watching her iPad.
Another one would be that I gave her milk but the cup was freshly washed. Didn't think a few drips of water on the side was going to cause trouble. Nope. She screamed and cried because she got a DROP OF WATER on her hand and didn't want to wipe it on her shirt...
He Just Wanted Agency
Son (2 years, almost 3) woke up last week at 3AM, screaming that he "wants to go outside and come inside his own self."
Over more than an hour of working through it, I came to understand that he had been dreaming that I had brought him inside, and he didn't want to come inside yet - so he assumed I knew exactly what the problem was, since I was the cause of it.
I tried to rationalize with him that it was dark outside, and we should go back to bed - no dice. Toddlering intensifies. So ultimately my wife (who had woken up in the midst of the tantrum) and I took him out to the balcony at the back of the house, and let him see that it was a) dark and b) ice cold outside. Then he came back inside, sniffled, and went back to sleep.
Up More
My niece is like 2yrs old and I picked up in her little rocking horse thing and "flew her" around the room last weekend. She definitely enjoyed because she kept looking at me and yelling "up." I made that horse fly around until my arms couldn't handle it anymore.
Apparently she has been yelling "Up!" at all adults since I left and then crying/screaming when she doesn't get flown around.
Sorry.
Too Bored To Function
My daughter went to the bathroom to pee and came out 30 seconds or so later crying. Why? She had been bored sitting on the toilet waiting for all the pee to come out and it occurred to her that she had a whole life of being bored sitting on the toilet for 30-second increments while waiting for all the pee to come out.
Who Will Do The Mowing?
Our mower was serviced. The guy came and picked up the mower and was to drop it off afterwards. My son cried for 30 minutes solid then off and on every 5 to 15 minutes until he dropped it back off. I tried explaining that he was only fixing the mower and would bring it right back to him. My sobbing almost 3 year old would reply, while wiping his tears, "okay. I'm okay. It's okay".
Wash, rinse, repeat for 2 hours.
The Cat Problem
My 2 year old was hysterical this past weekend because the cat puked on the floor right in the path of how she gets into the kitchen. She went on about how she can never go into the kitchen again, and the floor is ruined.
This wouldn't have been so bad had I not told her that the cat pukes all the time and we just clean it up. She then was inconsolable because the house was ruined and we have to move. She said she couldn't live in this gross house anymore. She refused to walk for several hours and cried every time we put her down on the floor.
Finally she got some candy and forgot about the whole thing.
More Cat Problems
Stepkid woke up in the middle of the night screaming because she didn't want the cat in her room with her. The cat that sleeps in her bed with her every night. We took the cat out and then she was screaming because the cat wasn't in there with her.
She also did the same thing because she confused her cat with the other cat and didn't want the other cat in the room. (They're both black but one is small and fluffy and the other is huge, short-haired, and a bit of an asshole)
If The Bread Can't Do It, No One Can
I have a picture somewhere of my then 18 month old throwing a fit because he couldn't reach a piece of bread I gave him. He threw it, then threw himself down to throw a fit, and cried harder because the bread wasn't right next to him. Had he just straightened his arm out he would have reached it no problem.
He Tried So Hard
Best one to date;
He's almost 2 and is super tall. He has differed our how the locks on our sliding door in his playroom work. We were having a lazy Sunday in our pjs because it was storming like mad outside. Thunder, lightening, wind and extreme rain all day long. While I was washing dishes he managed to unlock the door and run outside in his footie pajamas to try to play in his car. He was almost blowing away in the wind I brought him back in kicking and screaming and soaking wet in his footies.
Humans really know how to waste a buck... or millions.
We spend so much on superfluous items it's ridiculous.
Do we need ten of these?
Gym memberships can be hundreds of dollars a month yet there are DVDs and apps that show you cheaper ways to do it from home.
Life doesn't have to cost this much.
Redditor bluscorp91 wanted to hear about the things we really need to financially evaluate, so they asked:
"Which everyday item do people waste too much money on?"
I waste on takeout. I can't help it. I'm me.
Go to the Fountain
"Water."
brakjeeptj
"If you have safe tap water witch most people in Europe, Australia, and US/Canada has you can save thousands on water. One gallon costs under a dollar from the tap, and one gallon from the store will cost 5 dollars or more."
mincraftpro27
Tea at Home
"Takeout coffees."
LucyVialli
"What I don’t get is how people have TIME for that in the morning."
"There’s a coffee stand place by me that consistently has a huge line that sometimes blocks traffic. The few times I have been there on days off I have waited over 20 mins and that wasn’t even during rush hour."
"Like who has time to spend 20-40 mins before work in line getting coffee?!?"
pooponacandle
Skins
"Fortnite."
anyma6
"The skins are cool as sh*t, I'll admit it, but damn, $20 per skin? People are out here claiming it's fine because it's a free game, but $20 per skin means if you have 3 skins, you could've gotten a completely different game all together. And most kids have hundreds of skins. My coworkers son spends all of his allowance, Christmas, and birthday money on Fortnite skins."
"He's claimed that his son has spent over $1200 on Fortnite. That's f**king insane."
"My buddies are full grown men and they buy like one skin ever 4-5 days, it's crazy. They spend anywhere from $80-$120 a month on Fortnite. I literally don't understand at all. It's an entire bill to pay every month. I play it with them from time to time and only have like three skins. I still feel like I spent too much on that."
B3RS3RK_CR0W
Vroom
"Cars. I don't know how so many people can afford the mortgage on cars that cost twice the average annual salary around here. And they are legion."
"If you want to save money, you drive a 10+ year old beater. It is paid for, you will have to repair it every year for a couple of hundred bucks, but the cost per mile is a fraction of that for a new Polestar 2 or Volvo XC60."
"I'm guessing I am seeing the caste that lucked out on the housing market."
Derpygoras
For Good
"Netflix."
OptimumRedditor
"10 bucks a month is worth it."
RandomBloke2021
"Netflix prime Hulu, Appletv, Disney+ and all that crap that we can just find free on the internet free. Hell no I'm not paying for 100 different subscription services."
gracie4questions
There are way too many options. YouTube is cheaper.
MOOOO!!!
"My Family spends A LOT of money on milk, since my entire family drink like 2 bottles a day total. Not with coffee or anything, just plain milk."
MonkeeBoi123
All that milk... I hope they change the flavors.
Last Call
"Alcohol."
orbittheorb
"Buying alcohol at the bars. Seriously, downtown Chicago, 'Can I please have 2 rum & cokes and a Bud Light?'"
"'Ok that will be $35.'"
"Forget that mess."
Angel--Wonderland
A Communication Must
"Phones."
DrLycFerno
"I'm going to disagree since you left your reply so basic. Now if you buy the newest phone at launch, and repeat that every new release, yes that is wasteful. I bought a 1 year old model 4 years ago and it's still fine. If it turned into a brick tonight, I would drop like $800 on a 1 year old model and be good for several more years. That isn't wasteful."
somedude456
Need a Roof
"Rent."
abby_normally
"If our economy wasn't trash right now, I'd say buy your own place. I rented for 3 months then bought... renting is like flushing your money and any potential home equity (God I hate that word these days) down the toilet."
Runner_Girl1217
"It’s too expensive but unless you’re living outside your means the money is not wasted. Shelter is pretty important, it’s right up there with food and water."
HutSutRawlson
Clean Up
"Toilet paper. Wash your butt with water, and you can save tons of toilet paper."
"Never could understand what it is with toilets with nowhere to wash, and walking around with chocolate caked holes."
lefttheovenoff
Next Day Problems
"Surprised no one else has said this. Throwing away left over food instead of eating it later. I've worked in the restaurant industry for years and it's appalling the amount of food that gets thrown away that would be perfectly fine the next day. I constantly pack my leftovers and eat them for lunch."
Angel--Wonderland
We really need to evaluate our spending.
They say ignorance is bliss, and there is truth to that statement.
Whether it involves trying a new fashion fad, type of food, or starting a new activity that spikes your endorphins, it's to go back to the way things were prior to experiencing them.
It's like opening Pandora's Box. The joy of discovery is exciting, but it also has the potential to consume you.
Curious to hear from strangers online who were unable to get the toothpaste back into the tube, Redditor Kapuishon88 asked:
"What’s something you can’t live without once you’ve tried it?"
Computer-related activity is addictive.
Gaming
"Video games."
"Started in 1983 before I had reliable memories of anything. It's been a daily obsession since then."
– Kneejerk_Nihilist
Decades-Long Obsession
"Original Zelda. Level 1. 32 years ago. Resistance was futile."
– inarog
Online Activity
"Fast internet."
– Pufferfishgrimm
Opening Up The Periphery
"A second monitor."
– Gaby07
The following involve the things that make life easier.
Selective Hearing
"For me it’s noise canceling headphones."
– Kapuishon88
Wages
"A decent income."
– [deleted]
Preference For The Dark
"Blackout curtains for me. The noise-cancelling headphones of light."
– _CPR_
Sheer Comfort
"Quality underwear / socks."
– thevectorvictor
It's a hygienic thing.
The Perfect Backsplash
"A bidet."
– walkswithelias
The Backup
"Was gonna say the same. I explain to people that once you use one, you'll feel like a peasent when you wipe your a** with TP."
– walkswithelias
For Multi-Use
"Baby wipes. Damn, they are good at cleaning up so many things! The kids are 10 and 15 now and we still buy them by the case. Clean the counters, clean your shoes, get stains out of your clothes, bring them with you when you go eat ribs. Better than a napkin. Clean the table. Clean the desk. Clean the island. Wipe up the spill."
– ScienceMomCO
I have to agree about bidets being a life-changing discovery.
Ever since I was a kid going to visit my relatives in Japan and noticing virtually every toilet having a built-in spray 'n wash button, I was like, "Why doesn't America have these wondrous devices installed in every toilet?"
Not only is it super satisfying, it saves trees.
Most of us love animals and take stock of other people's pets. Some people have a better chance of remembering another person's pet's name than the person themselves.
Part of that allure has to do with the fun and creative names that many people come up with for their pets.
The Redditor, who has since deleted their account, asked:
"What is the best pet's name you've ever heard?"
The Autobots Would Be Proud
"I had a friend once who had a bunny named Hoptimus Prime."
- nellirn
Extra Hoppy Beer
"I live in northern Colorado which has a pretty big craft beer scene. One of our biggest and most popular breweries is Odell Brewing."
"One of my coworkers named her dog Odell because he had three legs which, in her words, made him extra hoppy."
- fiveironfreshy
At the Race Track
"I once heard of a race horse named Thunderbritches!"
- whiskey_weasel_
From the 'Tragedy of Julius Caesar'
"I had a friend who had a 14-foot python as a pet named Julius Squeezer."
- TSchwifty35
An Ode to Eminem
"My wife's fish was named Swim Shady."
- josephexotic
Such a Giant, Cuddly Dog
"An Old English Sheepdog named 'Woolly.'"
- Back2Bach
Not Like the Movies
"My cat's name, he's named 'Gremlin'."
"A lot of people believe the movies were the inspiration, I just wanted to give my cat a weird but cute name."
- EldritchDWX
What a Tongue-Twister
"My guinea pig was Wanda Wilhelmina Wobblebottom."
- 84dg3r0u50n3
Tiny But Mighty
"A Redditor once posted a photo of their little, black kitten named Admiral Anchovies."
"That is all."
- Voyeurism_Bot
Social Creatures
"A little pug named Barbecue, or perhaps a corgi mutt with eyebrows named Party Time."
- BaronMatfei
Adorable Stage Names
"I still love the name Kitty Purry (Katy Perry's cat)."
- pirate_elle
Historic References
"Someone in the 'backyardchickens' subReddit named one of their girls Attila the Hen."
- dontforgetthel?be
A Name Upgrade
"A friend of a friend had a cat named Snack."
"Eventually, Snack had a few too many snacks, and they started calling him Meal."
- JuRoJa
Sounds Like a Big Boy
"A French bulldog called Tankerbell."
- blackday44
A Fair Question
"Between Chairman Meow and Benito Meowsolini, uh, there are a lotta cats with dictator names. What's next, Meowseph Stalin? Kitler?"
"Then again, cats are all wannabe dictators..."
- centaurquestions
Not only are some of these names hilarious, but these pet owners were on high creative alert when they named their furry loved ones.
Whether or not to bring children into the world is a very personal decision.
While there are many arguments as to why anyone should, or shouldn't have children, it's not a decision for other people to make for you.
Some people dream of being a parent since they were children themselves, and can't wait to shower their own children with love.
While others always dreamed of having children, but for one reason or another, it simply never worked out.
Then there are those who never saw children as part of their life plan and don't feel any kind of void without having children in their lives.
"Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?"
Don't Want Them Enough
"I just don't feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that."- SignificantFunny1523
Prefer A Good Night's Sleep
"Sleep."
"I love sleep."
"I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore."
"I much prefer sleep to children."- DamnIGottaJustSay
How Long Have You Got?
"Why do I plan not to have children?"
"Well..."
"'unrolls a list that's miles long...'"- HagBasket
Superstition
"This curse ends with me."- DaveTheRoper
Too Short A Fuse...
"Don’t have the patience for kids."- Leoimirmir
When Weighing The Pros And Cons...
"I don't see the upsides."- igna92ts
Plain And Simple
"I don’t want to be a parent."
"That’s a perfectly valid reason."- AllyriaCelene
Priorities
"Kids are great if you don’t like money or sleep."- ComplicationOnRS
"Clean house, financial comfort, ability to travel/leave the house whenever we want to."- Dear-Cockroach4589
Knowing What's Best For Yourself
"The whole process seems incredibly painful and difficult."
"I'd f*ck my kids up."
"I have a fearful-avoidant attachment style as a result of my toxic parents."
"I wouldn't be able to properly parent."
"I'm incredibly inpatient and would change my mind 3 months in, if I even made it through the whole pregnancy.'
"I want freedom."
"Having kids means being available and responsible."
"I am not and will not be these things."
"I wanna live for me, live to enjoy life, and I most definitely won't enjoy having kids."
"The world is overpopulated and f*cked."
"I don't see any point in bringing more people to this world."
"I have more reasons but these are my top 5."- mayo_nnais3
Fear
"Because I am scared of being a bad parent."
"I can't bring a life in this world just to screw it."
"Thanks for f*cking me up Narc dad."- WaywardRoads
Too Expensive
"To quote Homer Simpson 'aww I have 3 kids and no money. I wish I had 3 money and no kids'."
"I like my lifestyle."
"I am starting a 'college fund", but instead of paying for a 3-year degree I’m going to blow it on a looooonnngggg vacation."- timberwolf0122
"Cost of raising a kid, and the lifelong stress of raising a kid."- Typical_Conclusion_5
There are those who might call people selfish for not wanting children for the reasons listed above.
Perhaps these reasons are selfish, but on the other hand, they know they would not be able to give a child the attention, love, and support they would need.
It's the people who know this and have children anyway who might be considered the selfish ones.