As someone who was forced to watch Butterfly Effect more times than should be legal, I've developed a bit of a knee-jerk NOPE reaction to the idea of time travel.
They say shows jump the shark when they start including ridiculous stuff just for the shock views (fun fact: that phrase comes from an episode of Happy Days where Fonzie literally jumps over a massive shark while water skiing.)
Reddit user, KingTonza asked:
"What would be your Main reason to go back in time?"
and long-story-short, we're all greedy curious saps who clearly could never be trusted with a timeline.
*stares in Ashton Kutcher face*
Pets
"I had a cat that died in 2018. He was the best little guy. I’d like to go back and sneak into my old apartment after past me left for work for the day and just hang out with him sometimes."
-BatmanandReuben
"Huh I like that. Wholesome and also side-steps the problem of running into past selves."
-nairbeg
"I never had cats but will do this with my dogs."
"I just lost my boy last year. Even though I still have my little girl, I still miss him so much. I will visit all the pets I've lost throughout the years."
-enigma1021
Jurassic Nope
Confused Jurassic Park GIF by VidiotsGiphy"I really want to see dinosaurs."
"I know, I know, odds are high it would end badly for me. I just really love dinosaurs."
-VinnieMcVince
"I'm sure they want to see you too."
-Caperdiaa
Lesbians?
"The Libyans chasing me in a mall parking lot at 2am with an RPG."
-JellyCream
"That's heavy."
-JustDeleteSystem32
"I'm sorry but I really really misread this and missed the movie reference because I thought you said lesbians"
-duuckyy
"Now THAT'S heavy"
-Strong_Comedian_3578
The Necessary Nerd Answer
"To stop the burning of the library of Alexandria"
-thetomahawkkid
"When I was an adolescent and reading porno mags, I can still remember reading one of the models saying that the burning of the library at Alexandria was the greatest crime in history."
"Quite an intellectual that model was."
-YoteViking
"This would make the year 2000 be the year 2500 technologically"
-Lo23co7mcpe
"So. Much. Lost. Learning."
- [Reddit]
Best. Party. Ever.
happy homer simpson GIFGiphy"Stephen Hawking’s time travel party."
-childeroland79
"The only appropriate reason to time travel."
-Riverrat423
"I wouldn't go. Or if I did I'd swear him to secrecy."
-rydan
"For all we know the place could of been packed with time travelers, and he took that info to the grave."
-DARTHDIAMO
Money
"Buy bitcoin when it first came out..."
-emvaz
"Kicking myself for not buying some back in 2016."
"I worked with a guy who had a sizable amount and I would make fun of him for it. I was stupid and knew pretty much nothing about investing back then."
"I had about $50k just chilling in my savings. I could be a pretty rich man right now, instead I'm broke and saddled with student loan debt. Fml."
-ParticularBiscotti66
"I wanted to buy some back in 2009 but had no idea how. Probably would have been scammed in the end anyways."
-Ferndawg69
"Imagine the guy who spent thousands of bitcoins on a pizza"
-Biz_Consultant305
Overlord
"With the knowledge I have now, travel 20 years in the past and avoid a lot of mistakes... and become overlord of the whole world obviously."
-Goodcopbadcop33
"I don't know. That seems like a lot of responsibility."
"Can I be overlord of like 50 acres in the woods and a dope cabin?"
-wrecktus_abdominus
"Overlord is good. Me? I prefer All-Being, Master of Time & Space!"
-DavidSkywalkerPugh
"Most mistakes are healthy and are what shape us. I wouldn't have fixed any mistakes if I got a million dollars for it."
-WonderfulAirport4226
Curiosity Killed The Redditor
"Honestly just to see how everyday life was in like the 1400's for the average person. Feel like that's not something we know a lot about, or maybe just I don't know about."
-ThebigGreenWeenie16
"This seems like a bit of a foolish wish."
"I want it too."
"I'd want to bring along a bottle of antibiotics and a bar of deodorant soap, though."
-Bekiala
"It was probably crap. Working long hours of hard labour is pretty much your only option. Unless you are born into aristocracy and live on an estate."
"So like ... you'd probably already be dead, depending on how old you are."
-AxeellYoung
"This is a great choice, but I'm afraid that the diseases that you carry will be destructive for the people in the 1400s"
-bountyhunter205
"Wait, what if a time traveling Redditor was the real source of the plague?"
- [Reddit]
History's Mysteries
"To witness firsthand important events from the past and see how accurate our history books are"
-EezyRawlins
"Let me know who actually killed JFK."
-BigTuna0890
"I wonder if we were there as eyewitnesses maybe it would just seem like chaos . . . hmmm . . . what event would you like to witness."
-Bekiala
"Too many to list, honestly, but definitely the battles of Alesia, Cannae, and the siege of Orleans, as well as the sermon on the mount, and the (start of the) Hijrah."
-EezyRawlins
The Paradox
back to the future great scott GIFGiphy"I want to go back in time to prevent myself from going back in time"
-darth_shinji_ikari
"This is the true time travel paradox"
-bountyhunter205
"Are you implying that you have already travelled back in time?"
-Realistic_Analyst_26
So yeah ... maybe let's just not.
I have a sneaking suspicion we'd get ourselves in a lot of trouble and end up jumping way more than sharks.
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Companies and products rebrand for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes they want to revitalize a dying brand.
Or stay fresh and modern.
Other times they're trying to put a negative public image in their rear view mirror.
And sometimes, someone somewhere in a company has low impulse control.
Anyway...
Reddit user PulakHasan asked:
"What's the Weirdest Rebranding of all time?"
Weight Watchers
"Weight Watchers abbreviated their name down to 'WW' and in doing so, increased the syllables needed to pronounce their new company name."
~ hambone10
"You burn more calories uttering the extra syllables."
~ jungl3j1m
waitr
"Waitr was an extremely successful delivery service here. They had full time employees and you could get food delivered in 30-45 minutes."
"Then, they made everybody an independent contractor and started calling themselves ASAP."
"'As slow as possible' caught on and they lost the majority market share within a month."
~ bravesgeek
GiphyHBO
"I still don’t understand HBO dropping probably the most prestigious name in cable tv/streaming."
~ stoneman9284
"Right?! Also it literally means Home Box Office - that’s the best name for a streaming service????"
~ oreos_in_milk
Nordic Choice Hotels
"Nordic Choice Hotels rebranded to 'Strawberry'."
"They have to mention their old name all the time, because Strawberry could be absolutely anything."
"If only it were 'Strawberry Hotels' but it's not. It's just Strawberry."
"They removed the part that explains what kind of business it is."
"Madness."
~ WoodSheepClayWheat
GiphyUSWest
"USWest-->Qwest-->CenturyLink-->Lumen I don’t care what your name is."
"Can I have more than 10mbps DSL at my address?"
~ Trickycoolj
"In Europe, and it's now Level3--> Centurylink--> Lumen--> Colt."
"I'm sure they rename in the hope people forget the incompetence."
~ ConsciousValence
"My mom has worked for them since 1977 when they were Northwestern Bell."
"She's been through a billion name changes."
~ CorporalBB
Circuit City IQ Crew
"Circuit City rebranding their PC technician division from IQ Crew (which predated Geek Squad, by the way) to..."
"Firedog."
"I worked at a Circuit City from 2005-2008 and we all thought it was a prank when we saw the announcement."
"'The intensity of fire with the loyalty of man's best friend'."
"I sh*t you not—that was the marketing."
~ Tiberius_Jim
GiphyBritish Petroleum
"When after a major oil spill, BP changed their branding to Beyond Petroleum for an ad campaign showing how they were investing in renewables."
"Logo change too."
~ RandomAmuserNew
"An oil spilled followed by a huge effort to cover it up, including dumping Corexit into the water to mix with the oil and make it sink."
"So it was no longer visible from aerial shots, but it did far, far more damage mixed with a dangerous chemical and sitting on the sea floor than slowly evaporating or being soaked up on the surface."
~ LurkerOrHydralisk
Amoco
"When BP purchased Amoco, they quickly rebranded all the stations to BP."
"Not sure if it is everywhere but Amoco had a lot of brand recognition in the Midwest and a lot of people just didn’t like BP."
"Eventually, they started rebranding some of their stations back to Amoco to cash in on nostalgia."
"I always thought it was dumb but never realized that so many people hated it until after I worked for BP (very briefly) and was told the story of how much pushback they got."
~ anitabelle
British Petroleum (BP Oil)/Paul Sableman
Overstock.com
"Overstock.com I think qualifies for weird rebrand."
"Bed Bath and Beyond went out of business and was bought out by Overstock and then Overstock just rebranded everything to Bed Bath and Beyond."
"If you go to overstock.com it’s just BBB."
~ WhatsABuckland
Snoop Dogg
"When Snoop Dogg (temporarily) changed his name to Snoop Lion to make a reggae album."
~ RomanOnARiver
"Snoop’s original name on Death Row was 'Snoop Doggy Dogg'. When he left Death Row and went to No Limit, he had to alter his name (which might have been his original name) to 'Snoop Dogg'."
~ GotMoFans
"Snoop’s mother used to call him Snoopy as a nickname which is the origin."
~ OpanaMan
"The Charles Schulz people would have had a field day."
~ GotMoFans
GiphyBooks-A-Million
"Books-A-Million to 'BAM'."
"I was in a parking lot with one and had no idea it was a bookstore, as I was a bit too far out to see more than 'BAM' from where I was parked."
~ lynnyfox
KIA
"Everytime I see the new KIA logo I assume its a NIN [Nine Inch Nails] fan."
~ vinyalwhl
"I thought it was KN for an embarrassingly long time."
~ VulfSki
"KIA changed their logo on their cars and Google showed an uptick in the searches for 'K N cars' because people liked the look of them but didn’t realise it was a KIA."
~ User_Deleted_Content
Mark Chan on Unsplash
Royal Mail
"Royal Mail deciding Consignia was the way to go forwards."
~ PonITdude
"They wanted to go international but they lost so much money that year they had to stay national and reversed the name back."
~ ShinyHead0
"Twitter to X."
~ sandiercy
"And then everyone still refers to it as Twitter."
~ Safety_Drance
"'A user on X, formerly known as Twitter, posted…'.”
~ tommyk1210
"Rather like to see 'A user on Twitter, erroneously known as X, posted...'."
~ SagittaryX
"'A user on twitter, largely unknown as X, posted...'."
~ Pinksters
"A few days ago, I saw an article that said 'Twitter, which Elon Musk incorrectly thinks is called X for some reason...'."
"That was pretty funny."
~ temalyen
GiphyCity Landmarks
"In Chicago we still call it the Sears Tower [renamed Willis Tower in 2009]."
~ baccus83
"And in Pittsburgh, it’s still Heinz Field [renamed Acrisure Stadium in 2022]."
~ NoVaBurgher
"And in Toronto, it’s still the Skydome [renamed Rogers Centre in 2005]."
~ nonanarchist
"And in New York when you take 287 across the Hudson it's still the Tappan Zee Bridge [renamed Governor Mario M. Cuomo Bridge in 2017]. "
~ keytarin
"A lot of LA people still call it Staples Center [renamed Crypto.com Arena in 2021]."
~ New_Simple_4531
"In Denver we will always say Mile High Stadium [renamed Empower Field at Mile High in 2019]."
~ SheBrokeHerCoccyx
Some rebrandings make perfect sense to the public.
Others are utterly baffling.
What would you add to this list?
Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
How Much?
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
~ LightsJusticeZ
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
~ FishOfFishyness
Who?
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
~ HCxTC
Spellcheck
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
~ ParkOk6450
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"EDIT: February"
~ NeoNero_x
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
~ LordCaptain
GiphyUm, No.
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
~ Team_Lift
Looks Like...
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
~ testies2345
"I did the same thing with beets."
~ Jjetsk1_blows
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
~ fohsupreme
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"big boobies"
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
~ PoopPower99
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
~ dekkact
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
~ redwolf1219
Blue-Footed Boobies
GiphyPredictive Text
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
~ sniper8207
NSF...S?
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
~ BW_Bird
Good Description
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
~ TheGreatJaceyGee
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
~ Tail_Nom
GiphyIt Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
~ grammar_fixer_2
Ah, Memories...
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
~ caca__milis
GiphyYou Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
~ 123fofisix
100% NSFW
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
~ pi11bott
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?