Our minor quirks and mindless tendencies are as old as us.
It may be how we eat, a strange morning routine, or a social tick we rely on for comfort as we navigate the world of people. These quirks anchor us in self-determined normalcy. They offer a predictable sliver in an otherwise hectic daily existence.
And these little, private behaviors are so woven into the fabric of how we behave as to be nearly unnoticeable.
Until some nincompoop points our little habit out, highlights how abnormal it is, and destroys everything.
Once we become aware of the strange tendency, learn how abnormal it is, it loses all that anchoring power. The silent magic is gone and we're left to act like everybody else--at least in that corner of our life.
Hereditary Happy Hands
"My hands shake uncontrollably whenever I get excited about something and I thought it was normal since it happened to my dad too."
"Turns out that isn't the case, but my friends call it my 'happy hands' so it's all good."
"Walk and read a book. When I was growing up I lived in a canyon and took the school bus. Long walk with no flat parts. It sucked. So I started reading as I walked to take my mind off of it."
"As an adult, I would always take my breaks at work (a hospital) the same way. People were always impressed that I could do it and not walk into anything."
"Oh, and I can hold a paperback in one hand and turn the page with the same hand while keeping the book open."
This One Needs a Poll
"Pee in the shower."
"I know a lot of people do it but SEVERAL of my girlfriends have been absolutely grossed out by it. I just assumed everyone did it. You're not wasting water either flushing the toilet or washing your hands."
"Water is running so it's not like it marinates in the tub. All the drains go to the same place."
"First girlfriend who told me it was gross I thought was the oddball but by the third I started to wonder if maybe I was the minority. But it hasn't really come up where I want to start taking a poll of my friends to see which ones do it."
A Life of Luxury Comes to an End
"My mom always taught me to put folded up pieces of toilet paper between my butt cheeks, to absorb moisture and make it comfortable. Like 12-16 squares folded up, and just sort of tucked in there. It seemed logical."
"I made the JV football team in my sophomore year, and after the first practice, I was immediately ridiculed in the locker room when I took out my a**-paper. Obviously, I was the only person to do it."
"The razzing continued for the year, but I never f***ing did it again."
"Do my laundry while naked so I can actually say all my clothes are clean. I'd assumed everyone did this until I moved in with my ex" -- rawr_nickie_rawr
"This is brilliant." -- daggerxdarling
"I don't think my neighbors would appreciate if I used the laundry room naked..." -- hereforthemystery
"So when I eat raw mango, my mouth tingles, and I'd heard that there were enzymes in mango so I figured it was just because of that, some kind of reaction in my mouth."
"Work used to have ice cream Wednesdays every week during the summer. I grabbed a mango pop, which was like, the 'healthy' option, because it was just frozen blended fruit mostly, and I recommended my friend get one too 'because you can tell it's real mango, I'm getting the mouth tingles'"
"Yeah, turns out, I'm allergic to mangoes? And I shouldn't really eat them because the next reaction could turn anaphylactic. (I still occasionally eat mangoes, they're so good...)"
"Eating peanuts. I didn't know you were supposed to take them out of the shell until I was well into my twenties and went to a baseball game with some friends." -- TheLesserWombat
"Do the shells digest properly or is it like pushing a debranched stick later?" -- Koshindan
"No. They stay in you until you're 70 and then you poop all them out at once." -- paperpenises
"Not me but a friend used to go poop when he wanted to not when he needed to. Like a work break or finishing a movie or game when hanging out. He'd just be like ok I'm bored I'm going to go sh**.
"I didn't know this for years until he was telling me about his hemorrhoids. He would just push out whatever he had on deck."
"After laughing at him for a while I told him he has to wait till it's at the gates then just go sit and let it come out on its own. It changed his life."
More Shower Quirks
"I shake each limb individually like a cat to shake off excess water after I shower before I towel myself dry."
"I learned most people swipe the excess water off with their hand when an ex gf asked me wtf I was doing when I did it in front of her the first time we showered together."
A Dynamic Approach
"Instead of cutting the core out of a head of lettuce my dad taught me to punch it out. Just one well placed punch and the core just pops right out. He said something about how it helps it stay fresher longer, though I have no idea if there's any truth to that."
"I recently was making a salad and had a friend over and she absolutely lost her sh** when she saw me punching the iceberg lettuce."
Stretching Across the Day
"Only eating two meals a day. Growing up my dad and I had next to nothing so food was scarce."
"As I got older and moved in with my husband he started noticing I barely ate and worried it was an eating disorder until I told him about what life was like growing up and how the only time I had more than 2 meals a day is when I was staying with him or our gran growing up."
"Wipe standing up." -- spiralmadness
"That is how you get dingleberries. You wipe standing up and you don't get all the poop particles." -- artsy_fartboi
"I found this out about my husband after 10 years of being together. I was like ?!!?!" -- fermenttodothat
100% Chance of Victory
"Conversation rehearsals for conversations that can't possibly ever happen."
"My interview on the Colbert show went really well & I won that argument about scalectrix with my nan (she dead)."
"Nodding my head a lot while listening to someone. I figured it meant I was following along and understanding. But some people would get confused since I did it the whole time they talked."
"Especially noticed it when I saw videos of myself, and toned it down a lot."
Greasing the Wheels
"According to my wife, putting water on my toothbrush after I put the toothpaste on is very strange." -- Daddywags42
"It is the only way." -- TheJalele
"One time when I was in my early teens I had a friend over. I went to brush my teeth for whatever reason and when I watered the toothpaste my friend uttered, 'I hate people that do that!' and I was like, 'do you wanna go home?'" -- paperpenises
"Walking through landscaping in shopping areas. Rocks, bushes, grass."
"It was pointed out to me years ago, but I still have an issue remembering to use the sidewalks."
Chomping on Cylinders
"I use to eat a lot of things that weren't corn on the cob like corn on the cob. Cheetoh puffs, sausages, burritos, if it was in the relative shape of corn I ate it like it was."
"My brother finally told me that it was unsettling so I stopped. Sometimes I'll do it though, just for old times sake."
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