You know those days when you feel particularly passionate about something and you just need to let the world know?

Like that time you loved Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk so much that you needed to write a 48 line poem in the style of Edgar Allan Poe about it?

No?

Well this guy does.


This poetic review was originally posted on Amazon.

Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,
I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg'ed here for evermore.

And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known before,
So that now, to still the throbbing of my heart, while gently sobbing,
I retreated, heading straightway for the tempting icebox door -
Heedless of that pitter-patter tapping at the icebox door -
I resolved to have some more.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'This,' said I, 'requires an extra dram of milk, my favorite pour.'
To the icebox I aspired, motivated to admire
How its avocado pigment complemented my decor.
Then I grasped its woodgrain handle - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams of many Tuscans I had known before
But the light inside was broken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only words there spoken were my whispered words, 'No more!'
Coke and beer, some ketchup I set eyes on, and an apple core -
Merely this and nothing more.

Back toward the table turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
'Surely,' said I, 'surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

From the window came a stirring, then, with an incessant purring,
Inside stepped a kitten; mannerlessly did she me ignore.
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of lord or lady, withdrew to my dining floor -
Pounced upon the pool of Tuscan spreading o'er my dining floor -
Licked, and lapped, and supped some more.

Then this tiny cat beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grand enthusiasm of the countenance she wore,
Toward the mess she showed no pity, 'til I said, 'Well, hello, kitty!'
Sought she me with pretty eyes that seemed to open some rapport.
So I pleaded, 'Tell me, tell me what it is that you implore!'
Quoth the kitten, 'Get some more.'


Praise be to Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk!

CW: Suicide

There is so much to learn in life.

And once you acquire certain things mentally, you regret it.

How much 411 have you come across over time that made you think... "How can I unlearn that?"

Yeah, not possible.

Knowledge is power and sometimes it's a nightmare.

Don't we have enough to keep us up at night?

Damn curiosity.

Well let's do some learning.

Redditor RedBoyFromNewy wanted to shed some light on creepy issues we need to be discussing. They asked:

"What’s a disturbing fact that not a lot of people know of?"
Keep reading... Show less
People Share Their Craziest 'Oh You Thought This Was Bad, It Gets Worse!' Experiences
krakenimages on Unsplash

The best stories are ones with exciting plot twists.

Keep reading... Show less
People Divulge The Most Depressing Truths They've Made Peace With
Abhijith P on Unsplash

Life is full of disappointments. We lose out on a job opportunity or the one designer article of clothing we really wanted is not available in our size.

Keep reading... Show less

The truth matters.

Something one would think was a given in modern society.

Yet all over the world, there are people so unbelievably stubborn, that they simply refuse to believe the facts.

Sometimes even when presented with evidence.

This could be for something menial, such as refusing to believe that a cotton candy was actually invented by a dentist.

But sometimes, refusing to believe the truth could have serious consequences, up to and including climate change, the effectiveness of masks, and the disproportionate amount of gun violence in the US.

Redditor Lady_Of_The_Water was curious about the many things, both frivolous and serious, people refused to believe were true, leading them to ask:

"Whats something someone thought you were wrong about and ridiculed you for it, but it turns out you were right?"
Keep reading... Show less