Life never turns out the way you expect. That should be the first lesson ever imprinted on the youth.
What is that saying? "Everytime we make a plan... God laughs."
Well he must be in a constant state of guffaw watching kids grow into adults and learning that everything we believed to be true is either false, or some distorted version of what we imagined.
Adults, we know better, let's starting hitting the youth with hard truth now.
It'll make for a sobering reality.
RedditorThe_Halawanted to hear about all the things we believed when we were younger, that has thrown us through a loop as adults.
They asked:
"What’s something you imagined as a kid and it turned out to be wrong when you became an adult?"
I believed that soulmates were real, and that we had an automatic pull to finding one another. I type that sentence while sitting alone with dogs and chocolate.
Speed Machines
driving fast and furious GIFGiphy"I used to think cars cost a ton of money. Like, a whole hundred dollars or more." ~ Jaycatt
The Happy Ending
"I thought finding a career and a loving spouse just happened naturally." ~ SilasMarner77
"So did I, and everyone told me it happened that way, so it was very strange to reach 18 or so and suddenly be told 'what's the matter with you? You have to put yourself out there!' from all these people who had apparently just drifted into position like celestial bodies."
"I think a lot of kids are taught to never make decisions for themselves and fobbed off with the idea of things just 'happening' later, and then have no clue what to do with themselves when they are not under someone's control so suddenly have to figure it out for themselves." ~ JMW007
I felt so stupid...
"My mom used to tell me that if I turned on the little light in the back seat that we would instantly be pulled over and would be given a ticket. I believed that till about 3 years ago when my girlfriend turned on the light and I told her why we can’t do that and she told me that wasn’t even a thing. I felt so stupid smh." ~ INYOURCLOSET4
Unprepared...
"I thought every next step was going to be the thing I couldn’t handle. Jr. High. High School. Boot Camp. Fleet Marines. College. Business world. Turns out I was only really unprepared for marriage, everything else is pretty easy."
"I’d say this: if you don’t find yourself wanting to spend literally every moment possible with someone, don’t marry them. I’m solitary by nature, so I thought I’d want to spend time apart from anyone, but it turns out, I can’t get enough of my second wife."
"I really could have saved first wife and myself a lot of grief by not assuming ours was the best a relationship was going to get. We are both fine and probably each better off for the time we did spend together, even all the painful time, but I sure learned a lot about how not to be." ~ mojave_moon
Wisdom with age...
Knowing Cedric The Entertainer GIF by CBSGiphy"'You'll understand it when you're older.' Sure, I accepted it, but understand it? That's one hell of an overstatement. Lots of it's apply here." ~ FranticBronchitis
Acceptance is key. But you don't learn about acceptance until it's already too late and the illusion of life is destroyed.
Hit the Floor
jim carrey falling GIFGiphy"I thought I would have had to use 'stop drop and roll' by now." ~ crispypotatocake
Wing It...
"Adults have any semblance of how to handle every situation, especially the bad ones." ~ The_Soapmakers
"It's definitely weird when you come to the realization that we're all just winging it. I used to think my dad had all the answers."
"I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just I really thought he was in a position to know exactly how to handle any problem I came to him with. Now my kids look at me the same way and sometimes I can really feel the weight of the world on my shoulders because of it." ~ Handsome-Jim-2
Family Ties
"My dad's family is big as hell, my dad has 13 siblings (like 5 of them being step-siblings, and two of the 13 have already pass away) So my paternal family is more than 100 people, no joke. So... my dad's oldest sister is like 20+ years older than him and when my dad wasn't even born (Like 2 or 5 years before)."
"She had a child and the kid and my dad grew up and were raised as brothers (when they were actually uncle and nephew). And I just discover two weeks ago that he wasn't another of my dad's siblings, not even my uncle obviously, he was my cousin, my cousin which is 50 years older than me." ~ CChrysanthemumm
Lessons Learned
"As an early teen, I thought that LGBTQ was a load of garbage. I couldn't wrap my brain around why someone would be attracted to their own sex, or why they wouldn't feel like their assigned gender. I thought it was just a phase some people went through to be unique."
"While I still don't understand how most of LGBTQ works, I at least know that homophobia and transphobia is wrong. Discriminating against someone because of who they want to love/be is just wrong. one day LGBTQ going to be widely accepted. I hope that day comes soon so that the discrimination calms down." ~ placeholderNull
I'm Useless
gossip adults GIF by Halo Top CreameryGiphy"That adults knew what they were doing. I'm in my 40's and I still don't know what the hell I am doing half the time." ~ The__Riker__Maneuver
Oh, why couldn't it all just be a grand fairytale? What does so much have to be so hard? Alas...
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Redditor ArdianNuhijiwanted some advice about traveling this great land of ours.
"What parts/states of America should be avoided during a cross country road trip as a European?"
I'm not a fan of super hot, so watch out in the South. The heat can kill you.
2 Weeks
renee zellweger chicago GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy"We just did a road trip from Chicago down through St Louis and Memphis to New Orleans. Then back to Chicago through Huntsville, Nashville and Indianapolis. Took 2 weeks. We've previously done road trips on the east and west coasts and I did a Miami-San Francisco-Seattle-Vancouver-Chicago-New York trip back in 2000."
"The interstates are great when you need to get between cities fast but it's fun to take the smaller roads and stop in the places you pass through. In some states there's a lot of nothing but then it's even more fun when you can stop for lunch in a great diner in a tiny town. Depending where you're from you might be alarmed by the poor road design and poor driving."
"Be aware that there can be sharp exits and traffic lights on huge wide highways. Exits on the wrong side (from the fast lane) are pretty common on urban interstates. 'Welcome Centers' at rest areas at state borders are (in my experience) often staffed by really lovely and helpful people. Have fun!"
bature
'Deliverance'
"As a Canadian: We took a road trip down to Mississippi one time, just me, my ex and a friend of ours. We decided to take the backroads there instead of taking the Interstate, so we wound up in lots of places in rural US. Quite frankly, as a guy roaming in the middle of nowhere with two college girls... I never felt unsafe."
"There were some interesting 'Deliverance' moments, like when we stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere to get gas and hit the head. Two guys wearing only overalls, chewing chaw sitting out front, greeting us with only grunts and spits. It was like something right out of a movie and we were expecting to get skinned... but everything was fine."
b-monster666
DO NOT SPEED THROUGH SMALL TOWNS!!!
"As far as danger, you're not gonna be in any danger, unless you go hunting for bears or wind up in the ghettos of Detroit. Don't drive into NYC (mainly Manhattan island) the traffic is awful and parking will cost you a pretty penny (Pence? Man, I'm American.) DO NOT SPEED THROUGH SMALL TOWNS. Police get bored and they will pull you over faster than you can hit the brake."
"On the interstate you can match speed with the rest of traffic, but good rule of thumb is to not go more than 10 mph over speed limit. Finally, avoid side-of-the-highway tourist traps, like random moccasin stores or giant rubberband balls. They're not dangerous, but the products will be subpar and overpriced. (I'm looking at you, Osceola Cheese Factory)."
Napotad
It's so Big!
"I feel like I should warn you that many Europeans vastly underestimate how large the USA is. You could drive for 7 hours in Texas and still be in Texas. It would take you three days to get from one end of California to the other. Pick which states you want to go to, plan your route that way, plan for it to take at least a week."
"Edit: because some Europeans got pressed in the replies, no, I’m not insinuating that you don’t know geography. I’m warning you about the mistakes that European tourists tend to make while visiting the US. You’re not gonna road trip from New York, to Las Vegas, to San Francisco, to Seattle. It’s just not going to happen."
Faeiey
Several Destinations
Lets Go Falling GIF by BARMERGiphy"Nowhere is really worthy of 'avoiding,' the actually dangerous areas aren’t places tourists would really seek out anyway."
"I suppose certain areas could be boring, depending on your preferences. Really I would advise the US is vast, so pick like 6 or seven destinations and do research. Don’t try to see the whole country in one go. I’ve lived here for decades and haven’t seen half of it."
Karatekan
It's all a give and take. Every road has a different journey.
Just Blah
Spongebob Squarepants Reaction GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"The biggest threat is boredom. Are you sure you don’t want to road-trip the east coast and then fly to Vegas and then drive up the California coast? I have driven cross country twice and it’s a lot of hours of nothing. Then maybe you see the worlds largest baseball bat or rubber band ball and then several more hours of nothing."
SnoootBoooper
Scenery
"If you're interested in scenery, the upper west has some phenomenal mountains to see. Montana and Idaho offer some spectacular scenery in my opinion."
FreakOnALeash72
"Only thing I'd warn about Montana or other more rural states is that understand that you won't always find a hotel for miles, cell service can disappear for like 100 miles, and GPS does not necessarily work off of highways. You don't want to go up some dirt road and end up stranded in hot/cold conditions with no idea where you are and no cell service."
Violet624
good sense of the character...
"If you’re doing a road trip, keep in mind that the huge main arteries (like I-95 on the east coast) usually wont give you a good sense of the character of cities or the towns. Those large interstates are really just for traveling, and to get you from one place to another quickly with food, gas and restrooms easily accessible. Most of the really interesting stuff in a town or a city will be on local roads and highways. Don’t judge a place based solely on what you can see from an interstate!"
ask*ich
Awesome
"'I support you OP. Quit listening to this There's nothing to see in the middle' bulls**t. If all you want to do is the same touristy crap as everyone else, then sure, see NY, California, and go home. But if you're coming here to say you've experienced American life, go out in the middle. Hang out with the locals and let them show you why they're still there. There's so much awesome crap to see that's completely underappreciated."
scottevil110
Just Go Out There
turning up road trip GIFGiphy"None of them; every state is unique and has amazing parts to them. They also have shi**y parts, but most of them places tourists would want to go aren’t bad. No tourist is going to some small racist town in the country or going to visit the shi**y part of the city."
AcidSweetTea
Get out there kids and see it all. Be safe.
What would you add or remove from this list? Let us know in the comments section!
Redditor CanadianKiss was eager to hear the most absurd and ridiculous lies people ever heard from their significant others, leading them to ask:
"What was the most insane lie an S/O told you?"
Keep Your Panties On!
"After I found out my wife was having an affair, I snooped through her email, saw she bought 5 pairs of lingerie over the past several months that I had never seen."
"When confronted about it she said she liked the progress she has been making in the gym and just wanted to see how she looked in them and threw them away after she tried them on."- DrMilzie
False Credentials
"Told me she was a veterinarian and even had a degree hanging on her wall."
"My parents own a small farm so I asked her for advice and the answers were always questionable."
"My gut was telling me something is off."
"Googled her school and asked some basic questions that anyone who went should know."
"She didn’t."
"It was all a lie."- Auditory_Whiplash
baby daddy GIF by Face The TruthIt's All About The Anticipation...
"That there was spaghetti waiting for me when I get back."
"There was no spaghetti waiting for me."- IWannaBeMade1
Why Bother?
"That he didn’t like honey when he did."
"It’s insane to me because what’s the point?"
"lmaooo."- astroqualityyy·
Some People Don't Even Try...
“'I got gonorrhea from cutting myself on a broken bong'."
"Survey says, that’s a lie!"- CautiousOwl02
True Love Weed GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphyGaslighting 101
"That I was the one who was destroying our marriage for being suspicious all the while she was the one cheating."-shenanigansgalores
Faking Cancer? Seriously?
"I broke up with this dude after only a couple of dates."
"A week later he hits me up asking to take me to lunch bc he just found out he had cancer."
"He tricked me into a year-long relationship based on a cancer lie."
"I believe karma is a b*tch though."- crunchyleafs_
"She called me three months after we broke up to tell me I was right."
"'All that tanning has given me skin cancer'."
"I asked which kind."
"She couldn't remember what the doctor called it."
"I asked, 'Is it lymphoma?'"
"She said, 'Yeah, that's the one.'"
"I hung up."- Spodson
Family Issues...
"That she was an orphan."
"Her family was very surprised."- Garlic_Bread_865589
orphan GIFGiphyThe key to a healthy relationship is honesty, barring of course covering up a surprise which will make your partner happy.
And when the only way to stay in a relationship is through lies and deceit, it's probably time to start re-evaluating how well things are going.
Ironically, that's when it becomes time to really be "honest" with yourself.
Redditor scared4lyf was curious to hear more about the statistically unlikely experiences people have gone through, leading them to ask:
"What statistically rare thing happened to you?"
Miracle Birth
"My birth is in a medical journal and my mom still gives me crap about it almost 40yrs later."
Due to my mom's low rib cage and high uterus, I was stuck in the bottom of her rib cage."
"The doctors were convinced I didn't have a head and told my mom her whole pregnancy that I only had a brain stem and she should abort."
"Lo and behold she goes into labor and they rush her in to do a C-section, only to discover I'm stuck."
"They end up laying her all the way open and cutting 3 ribs to get me out."
"She ended up stapled back together."
"(Yay for 1980s science."
" She gave her doctors so much hell about her being right."- Silaquix
Blessed With Strong Bones!
"I've been hit by a semi truck twice, and both times escaped with minor injuries."- mydogsaysimcool
so fetch mean girls GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyFrequently Chased By Death
"I was pronounced dead at 6 weeks old."
"I found a dead body when I was 10."- Smoochmypie
"Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off, And Start All Over Again!"
"I’ve broken my ankles on 5 separate occasions."
"I also have flat feet. "
"Ironically I love running!"- ItsMyCakedayIRL
Lucky Discovery?
"Appendix cancer."
"Accidentally discovered during another surgery."
"No idea there was a tumor the size of an egg on my appendix."- Low_Bus_5395
A Mighty Wind...
"Got hit by a tornado."
"They don’t tell you about how it sucks the air out of the room while you’re inside it."- FriendlyFiber
Angry British Summer GIF by moonbugGiphyTalk About Victim Of Circumstance
"I was born in jail"- cavallinm
You Can Have Too Much Wisdom...
"I had 5 wisdom teeth."
"4 normal ones and 1 tiny one."- more_merkins
Lucky Day!
"My dad my uncle and me were all born on 8/11 different years."- Kimchiandfries
Happy Birthday GIF by Eat'n ParkGiphySome people have all the luck, and some apparently have none at all!
All the more reason we should never assume that any unlikely experience will never happen to us...