"What is one thing you will never, ever do?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor FoodMaster122, who probably wanted to commiserate with some like-minded people.
You see, while most of us are in quarantine, we have a lot of time on our hands. We can learn another language. We can perfect other skills, too. Oh, and we can work on ourselves and figure out what we'll never do... no matter what.
You might have known certain things about yourself before you were locked down, true.
But honestly, these are just principles. Read on.
"My brain power..."
Imagine that the audience is naked while giving a presentation. My brain power is trying to keep the words going, I don't have cells on the side for that kind of imagination.
"I have negative desire..."
Heroin.
I was on morphine after an operation and hated it. I have negative desire to try heroin.
"Treat any retail..."
Treat any retail or service employees like garbage. After working retail I couldn't bring myself to do it.
"My grandpa..."
GiphySmoke a cigarette. My grandpa smoked 3 packs a day starting when he was 12 years old until he was 50. He then "quit" and only smoked two packs a day. He lived for another decade or so before he unsurprisingly died from lung cancer. Seeing what he went through in the last few months was enough to convince me to never touch a cigarette. His lungs were so bad, when the doctors diagnosed him the doctor legitimately said, "smoke them if you got them, because you might as well enjoy your last little bit of time." I wish he could have quit for real in time for it to make a difference.
"I had it happen..."
Cheat on any of my GF's. I had it happen to me in a bad way in a 4 year relationship and I know the pain, so I vowed to never do that to anyone ever.
"Too many bad genes..."
Have biological children. Too many bad genes that I would rather spare someone else from inheriting.
"This tells us..."
When another driver is trying to do me a favor that I deem safe, I'll never accept it/do it (if I do it at all--again, it has to appear overwhelmingly safe) without giving them a wave and saying thanks.
A (generally) safe example: changing lanes was ALWAYS a problem back when I was riding in big rigs. We sincerely appreciate the people in the lane we're merging into who see our turn signals on and flash their lights at us. This tells us, "we see you, you have plenty of room, and we are not going to be the typical prick who demonstrates that they want to die rn by speeding up. We got you. Go ahead and get over if everything else looks good." If you do that for a trucker and they flash their lights back, that was their way of saying thanks!!
"A broken rubber..."
Bungee jump. A broken rubber brought me into this world and I'm sure as hell not gonna let one take me out.
"Granted..."
Cheat on someone. Granted, I'm sure quite a load of people who ended up doing so said this to themselves, but beyond the moral grounds of it being wrong, the thought of doing so and going back to your SO, dropping the news, watching their reaction, and realizing you've made someone that close to you completely lose trust in you sounds absolutely miserable. And I certainly wouldn't want to be on the other end of that situation either.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
"What companies shamelessly make sh*t products, year after year?"
False Advertising
"Holiday gift basket companies."
"I once felt obliged to buy one from a lady I worked with and it cost around fifty dollars."
"She had a brochure with various baskets and I chose one that was assorted candies and had a decorative wooden rocking horse."
"When it arrived it was just a bag of candy that I could have paid 35 cents for at a gas station."- Artai55a
30 rock gift basket GIFGiphySave A Few Cents For Inferior Quality
"It’s a throwback, but rose art for sure."
"They just decided their destiny was to sit on the shelf next to Crayola and get purchased by folks who are balling on a budget or cheap."
"No goals for product improvement at all."
"Just 'hey, wanna save three bucks?'"- Lucetti
Improvements Unlikely In This Digital Age
"Any printer manufacturer."- gbeegz
"HP printers."
"I have a $600 fancy laser HP printer we got six or seven years ago, and they have succeeded in updating the software to the point that nothing works anymore."
"I used to be able to print over Wi-Fi easily, scan over Wi-Fi, etc and now none of it works."
"I haven't changed any of my network hardware, things are hardwired."
"Also, I used to be able to use aftermarket ink cartridges and the printer has started giving me sh*t about it."
"I really like HP's computers, but their printers are a bunch of bullsh*t."
"Oh and their auto-update software won't go away even though I keep disabling/ removing it, and it installs software updates that breaks the current functions."- Bazirker
It's The Customer Service You Pay For...
"Oracle."
"Products intentionally sh*tty so they can make most of their money selling consulting just to make it, sort of, work."- s-starr
One Reason Sports Should Always Be Played Outside
"EA sports titles."- Stitches_Ito
Even Carrie Bradshaw Doesn't Like Shoe Shopping THAT Much...
"Doc Martens."
"My old pair from 20 years ago are still going strong, any new pair I get craps out after a year."- korar67
Doc Martens Shoes GIF by SORANGiphyScreaming For Ice Cream... And Not In A Good Way...
"Breyers and their 'Frozen Dairy Dessert' nonsense."
"Before 2006, Breyers ice cream was really good!"
"I loved their coffee ice cream!"
"And then they changed their formula and made the mess they have now to the point that they can't even legally call it ice cream anymore."
"Does anyone remember those old Breyers commercials where the kid tries to read the ingredients on an inferior product and struggles to pronounce things like 'mono & diglycerides' and then easily reads Breyers ingredients as 'milk, sugar, and cream?'"
"What a joke."
"Unilever loves to buy brands people trust for quality products and use that trusted brand name to get people to buy lower quality for higher prices."
"It seriously has the same consistency as Cool Whip now."
"And Unilever has the audacity to say that this is what customers asked for!"- akittyafterus
World Cup Wow GIF by FIFAWho Exactly Is His Audience?
"If lockpickinglawyer is anything to go on its lock-companies."- knatten555
Literally Selling Sh*t...
"Home Depot has been selling manure since its founding in 1978."
"In fact, a quick search of the website found they proudly sell over 178 manure products."- atomicscateboard
The Original "Catfishers"...
"Mad Catz got away with murder for years."- Einar_47
Apple Is Listening...
"Samsung appliances."
"F*CK YOUR FIRMWARE UPDATE ON THE FRIDGE!"
"Also those plastic trays keep breaking and are sh*t quality."
"My 1987 Maytag is still cranking the coldest brews on earth and hasn't been serviced ever in its life and sits in a dark room in my basement since he was demoted from the kitchen for being out of fashion by my wife."- zendor666
Customers Weren't Looking For An Authentic "Frontier" Experience...
"Frontier Airlines."
"Sh*t experience, customer service, quality, reliability, comfort, convenience and fees."- Micklikesmonkeys
There are those who always like to give second chances whenever possible.
When it comes to spending a little more money for a more reliable product, however, customers should rightfully be one and done.