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People Explain Which Things Their Parents Pressured Them To Do Growing Up

People Explain Which Things Their Parents Pressured Them To Do Growing Up
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

How many times have you heard your relatives ask you why you're wasting your time pursuing art when you could go out there to be a doctor or lawyer or something useful?

Sucks, doesn't it? You bet it does.

After Redditor Sky451 asked the online community, "What's something your parents constantly pressured you to do growing up?" people proved to be quick with their answers.


"Grade F"

Giphy

Get better grades, be better at sports, nothing is EVER good enough. We have a couple of levels of schools, I wasn't in the highest, but scored 100% in my exam: not the highest level though, so nobody cares about your 100%.
Became the best in a certain sport in my country: well you're not World Champion are you, this means nothing.
They messed me up big time, took over 10 years of counseling. Floor-is

"Champions"

"Became the best in a certain sport in my country: well you're not World Champion are you"

Sorry they did that to you. Being the best in your country at anything is an incredible accomplishment, so congrats that you were there at one point.

My parents taught me that there would always be somebody better than me (not in a negative sense), especially when it came to sports. This was really helpful growing up, as there was never pressure to be THE best. big_thiccie2_0

"Arouns 12"

Around 12.

My Dad made me pay him 5c every time I said the word UMM because I was using it too much and it made me sound dumb.

If at the end of the day I didn't say UMM once, he gave me $5.

Got me outta the habit in about 2 weeks - lasted my whole life. nomdeplume_alias

"Stay skinny!"

Stay skinny! My mom made me start drinking diet pop when I was 14 because I was about 90 lbs and "might get fat." She jedi mind messed me up for most of my adult life.

Edit: for those wondering I was 5'3" at 14 and topped out at 5'4" at 15. PuppyPavilion

"Hush Bro"

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Never raise my voice, even before fights I'll say mean crap in a polite voice. Ex: "hey bro, f*** you"

You read that quietly didn't you? IsmalCox

"useful"

When choosing my career, they prompted me to value money over passion. carmmee

In my country there is a huge rate of unemployment. My parents insisted in making me study something I didn't love but was "useful." At the end, I have been years in a job not related at all with my studies and thinking if studying what I liked could have changed all that... at least I would have tried. angryhippo29

"Knock. Knock. Who's There?"

Knocking before you go into a room. I learned the hard way. BUT THEY NEVER KNOCK AND YOU KNOW HOW MANY DAMN TIMES THEY HAVE WALKED IN!! LDT124

The worst is my dad will knock and walk in. Like what's the point of knocking if you're just gonna walk in anyways? HassanaliBhimji

"Career"

Career. You need good grades, you should go to university, you should aim for being a lawyer or a doctor, doesn't matter what makes you happy! As a women, you should be educated and have a big ass career, you owe that to us!

Well screw you, I can't work due to health issues and am a housewife now lol. Reddit

"Pretty Enough"

This still makes me cringe to this day. My mum thought I'd make a great model. Ok yes I was tall and thin, maybe 'pretty' enough but I was very shy and awkward. I was the teenager that wanted to hide at the back room in a crowd and hoped I wasn't noticed by anyone ever... and if you spoke to me I'd blush bright red, stutter and trip over anything I said.

Mum refused to listen or notice I had not even close the personality needed to model.. and she signed me up to modeling courses, photography classes etc. Pure torture and hell on earth. At the end of a 10 week course there would be a graduation night. OMG... catwalk modeling in swimwear and day wear and formal wear. Far out... I'm starting to hyperventilate now just thinking about it.

Spoiler alert. I didn't become a famous model (or any sort of model). Years later I did overcome my shyness and can now even run workshops and do public speaking but damn mum, she made my teen years hell... shudder.... I can still see her pulling out a new brochure or pamphlets for some new course she'd found that she was sure was 'the one' that would have some talent scout find me. To this day she'll pull out photo albums with pictures of me on stage.. 'look how gorgeous you were'.. and all I see is the terror in my eyes lol. CheeryCherryCheeky

"To the Left"

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Started out writing with my left hand, was forced to change that. Now I'm left handed but I can write only with my right hand. Messed me up in subtle ways I can't quite explain. loopmutant

"Play What?"

Go outside and play. JackThomsom

I'm an only child. What am I supposed to do out there by myself. RhythmicStaccato

Yeah I feel you. I'm an only child as well, there were no other kids living near me, the few friends that I had all lived a few miles away, my parents almost never let me invite one of them over and I wasn't allowed to go over to their place on my own. So there just wasn't a whole lot I could do outside. SmokeWineEveryday

"The Perfect Son"

My parents have always tried to make me their perfect son. As if they're trying to make me as they would of liked when they were my age. My dad forced my into crap like cricket and painting which I never liked and was never good at. When they gave up on tryna teach me they still constantly remind me me on how much I used to "like" doing it. I've always wanted to make some form of content say on YouTube or twitch but my parents have always told me that it's a waste of time that I'll never get anything out of but like ffs what happened to all that sh!t you were trying to make me like. How tf has that helped me and my life. Porge069

"Adulting"

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Grow up. liquidxavius

Good advice for anyone, but most often used as a weapon against others because they didn't do what YOU wanted them to do. Cats-Ate-My-Pizza

"thanks mom"

Play golf, Swim, everything that could potentially set me up for in the future. I just wanted to be the perfect daughter and I felt so lost trying to do things to make me happy and them happy. Fast forward about two years, and I found out that my boyfriend golfed, so I am currently back in the game, thanks mom. avamidori

"50+"

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You need to have your own life planned 50 years ahead. RybaYTC

I would genuinely love to know about one person who managed to plan their life and succeeded to stick to their plan! tomasves02

"AMEN"

My mom always tried to force me to go to church. I lost my faith when I was eight. I loved reading. I decided to read the Bible. I read a bunch of messed up things, and things contradicted each other A LOT.

I hated church, hated the fake people, hated everything about it.

She eventually stopped bringing me, when I'd point out in front of everyone the contradictions they were preaching. guitarfingers

"Back Up Dad"

Play sports:

Team sports specifically, and it was my dad doing the pressuring. I tried soccer, basketball, baseball, swimming, and even lacrosse. But then I got into karate and my dad had very little support for me in that but it helped me be a better person in all aspects.

It helped me be more outgoing and it taught me discipline and respect for others as well as how to defend myself.

While I was doing that I was learning guitar which my dad also did not show support until I started getting really good and playing in bands.

TL:DR my dad pushed me to play team sports but I chose music and karate instead without his support. frozeneskimo02

"Brotherly Mess"

Be more like my younger brother. My brother could keep his room clean, focus better in school, was a healthier weight, and wasn't as awkward around people. Here's the kicker, he's never lived on his own. He went from living at home to living with his girlfriend, now wife. He would be completely clueless if he had to take care of bills, groceries, and all that stuff alone. I also spent most of my life with my ADHD undiagnosed. It's been in the last 7ish years that I even found out I have ADHD. Despite all this, I still love my brother because none of it was his fault. He was just doing his thing like I was. LittleMissRawr78

"No Shame"

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STOP shaming the family, hide my sexuality, change it, be straight. GlobalFairyInc

"Don't Overdue"

Being overly prepared. It just left me carrying around all these random objects on trips for just in case this very of rare incident happened (it never did) and more seriously made me a very anxious person. arbio

SAME, it got to the point where i stopped going places so i didn't have to lug around useless crap. haydenantonino

"The pigskin"

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Playing football. Everyone wanted me to be this great football player because my dad was pretty good and played through college. I played even though I hated it until I was in the 7th grade... to make things worse for about 2 to 3 of those years my dad was one of my coaches and he worked me so hard, which added to the reasons I didn't want to play. ctw1271

"1 line of code at a time"

My father would constantly tell me to work in a world changing app "1 line of code at a time". it didn't make sense to me then, and even now i still don't understand it, I got into coding thanks to that constant push but even to this day I don't think you can program a cohesive app like that. HistoricalFun4

"Happy-Thank You"

It might not be that important, but my parents would hound me about saying BOTH "Happy Halloween" and "Thank you" after getting candy while trick or treating. If I didn't say one of them, they would constantly remind me for the next few houses. It was when I was old enough to understand, but young enough to get flustered in front of a stranger and forget what I was supposed to say. TYUIOP-AI-ASSISTANT

"I'm Out!"

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My parents force me to become a advocate for handling all law matters in court. InformationalCorner

"the search"

Searching for a job. Red_Distruction

Same here. My mom wanted me to work in any dead end apprentice job when I was a teenager (12-14 years) but I always refused. Didn't want to work a lot and lose my afternoons for almost no money. Current_Equal

"No Generic!"

Don't use cheap condoms. EhlersDanlosSucks

That is actually very good advice. boiyougongetcho

"Art is Broke"

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Get a job in literally anything except art. They supported art as a hobby, but my whole family has admitted that they think I'll be a starving artist. CleverCrepe

Here is a flow chart on making a living as an artist:
Do you draw fetish stuff on the internet?
No->Starving artist.
Yes->Grats on your sweet gig. ControlledSingular

"it's beautiful."

i'm a trans man, i was named after my great grandmother when i was born. i tried to come out to my parents as trans a couple times and they just acted like they didn't hear me but would then go out of their way to talk about my gender - ie., "what dress are you wearing to prom?" "you know, your name has been in the family for generations. it's beautiful." "your dad always wanted a baby girl, he was so happy when you were born" etc. etc. that last one was a big point of guilt and hesitation for me since i have 5 brothers and no sisters from my dad.

thing is, i really like my old name. it just didn't fit. they eventually listened to me when i took them to a therapy session with me and came out then. especially took me seriously when i started hormones. they're both a lot more open-minded and accepting now, but from 14-18 yrs old i just sort of assumed they were going to disown me. qbtic

"Ball Time"

Play baseball. I was always into basketball and football as a kid. My dad is kinda racist and said a white kid like me had a better chance in baseball. And that it was safer and I could play it longer. I was pretty stubborn so I hated baseball until I was about 17. FoghornLeghornnn

"the ivories"

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Piano classes. Took 7 years and I hated every day of music school. Also, to be a good Christian. Which was kind of useless in the end. Rudzis12

"Don't Cry"

Kind of to be a silent submissive wife with children. Whenever I showed emotion or got rightfully upset about something it was always "I'll give you something to cry about" or that I don't respect them. So depressed teenage years came and some lashing out as an adult because I bottled up all my emotions until it got too much and I realized I needed a lot of therapy. So almost three years of therapy, a loving and compassionate partner (soon to be husband) later I'm almost at a point where I no longer show bursts of emotions but try to explain why I'm upset or angry.

The kids part turned into "I can actually choose not to be a mom? That's amazing because I actually don't want them". Lifted a lot of weight of my chest and after a couple of persistent years (where are my graaaaaaandbaaaaabys) they don't ask anymore. penguinforscale

" It didn't work "

I used to be a super creative, ginormous book worm. My family encouraged it, and i loved the attention. The fantasy worlds I escaped to and burned through at lightning speed was nice, too. Then, i started my freshman year of high school. That ability to win the award for most AR points crashed, and my aunt asked where that'd gone. She tried making me get a book to bring it back... It didn't work. Honestly? It kinda hurt that i was expected to be the bookworm, even after I'd grown out of that phase. I still love fiction stories, don't get me wrong, I just read it on AO3 now. SaandGuardiaan

"being demi"

Be perfect. Get good grades. Don't say anything that will upset 1 person in the world or you're a disappointment. You can't be fat or nobody will love you (said to me when I was 9). Don't speak. Look perfect.

A big one: Don't lie about your stupid head. This was after I finally got the courage to tell my family about my sucidal thoughts and depression. Also, after I came out to my older sister as a demisexual. Reddit

"Athletics Again"

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Sports. I was not a naturally athletically gifted child, and team sports were the worst for me, but my parents insisted on signing me up for soccer, softball, volleyball, and basketball leagues for years. I still hate participating in any kind of sport to this day. alwaystimeforcoffee_

"Be Normal"

Be normal. I was her freak child who was always bad no matter what I did. I didn't behave how she liked, didn't like the right things, didn't dress right (she had me in hand me down male clothes, how could I look like a girl wearing them???). I was just never good enough no matter what I did. She hated my hair. She refused to let me have friends while at the same time telling me I was a freak and would never have any.

As an adult she still hated who I am. I'm too tall, too big. I don't dress right, don't look right, don't like the right things, I'm not the child she wanted. We haven't talked in a few years now. I'm a normal girl, a bit too tall but normal. I have friends, I met a sweet man who she would hate because he isn't white. I'm everything she hates, because she's jealous. She even told me she was. I've had to fight to get this life. Zanki

"Education"

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My mom always said that me and my younger brother had to graduate high school. Both my older sisters did so i guess she just wanted all of her children to graduate. It sounds reasonable enough right? But sadly my mom passed away when i was 13 so at that point i basically just stopped caring about school and pretty much everything else and i started drinking,smoking and i said forget it and dropped out during my sophomore year. My brother also dropped out during his sophomore year but not a day goes by that i don't regret not staying in school. I'm also sure that my poor mom would have been disappointed in both of us for not finishing. Stay in school kids. cappilla

"Decison Maker"

Have an idea of what i wanted to do with my life - in no way were they pressuring me to do a specific thing, and they were very clear that they were supportive of whatever i choose. They just wanted me to know what i wanted to do so I could work towards it; which as a very indecisive (but stressy) person just added extra internal pressure. StarshipCaptains

"Pennysaver"

To not spend money.

Parents constantly screamed at each other about minor stuff, like $5 on screwdrivers from Walmart despite being pretty damn wealthy.

Dad made over 200k annually, but I was too scared to ask for money to go on a 5th grade class field trip to six flags.

Ended up being the only one in class who didn't go.

Sat with a substitute teacher in class until I lied and said my mom was supposed to pick me up at 10. Walked home and lied saying that it was a half-day. YeOLDEdandy

"Jesus Who?"

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Go to church. I was a pretty self motivated kid who loved school so they didn't have to worry about me too much in general.

I'm a successful adult now, but an atheist. Sorry mom and dad! queennbee

"A family friend..."

A family friend of mine wasn't allowed to date as a teenager. If he showed interest in a girl his parents just teased him about it, or they told him that relationships distracted him from getting good grades.

As a result he then became quite hesitant in interacting with the opposite gender and unfortunately it shows now. He's now in his late 20s and whilst he has a very successful career, he still hasn't even kissed a girl and is still generally very awkward around women.

The moment he graduated university, his parents have been saying "When are you going to bring a nice girl home? We want grandkids!". They've been constantly hounding him about it. I have a feeling they are going to be massively disappointed, but at the same time I hope he proves me wrong.

thunderfart_99

"Fluid Now"

I'm not sure if it was intentional or not but they really emphasized gender roles and would make fun of me if I ever did something that went against my assigned sex. Jokes on them though, now I've realized I'm genderfluid and am being as masculine and feminine as I damn well please. Robinisnotaline

"Here on behalf..."

Here on behalf of Asians. The three magic words are: Doctor, lawyer or engineers.

Any other career is a failure.

yesikeneysikan

"You're so smart"

Because I like to write, they assumed that I always was capable of writing anything at any given time, and couldn't grasp that maybe I didn't always WANT to write, and maybe I was blocked sometimes. Creativity isn't just a switch you can flip on or off... at least in my experience.

I also constantly got the "You're so smart, you should aim higher and higher than where you currently are" spiel. Aka the "nothing is ever enough" spiel. Let me figure out what my own damn happy place is, thanks.

SnuSnuTrain

"Alcohol..."

Alcohol, as early as 13 I was doing shots with family and friends. I live in Wisconsin and am surrounded by alcoholism. Now I'm 34 years old with the liver of a 50 year old sailer. Cheers matey.

helperperson

"In a bit of a role reversal..."

In a bit of a role reversal, I've always been pressured by my mom to become a professor of arts or humanities and it drives me crazy. There's a lot of creative professionals on her side of the family so I've had a lot of experience with that sort of thing but it's never "clicked." I'm starting to get my sh!t together to apply to law school this fall and she's gotten super cagey talking about it.

shobgoblin

"Chores."

Chores. Like, an insane amount. I'm almost certain my dad only wanted kids in order to clean up his mess. After I got a job in high school they had me come home during my open school periods in order to get my chores done because I was no longer around after school to do them.

kay37892

"That sounds like a good thing..."

Be self sufficient/independent. This sounds like a good thing and it is, in moderation. But sometimes kids need some emotional or financial support. 10 year olds should not be made to feel guilty for having needs, like sympathy or socks.

JamesandtheGiantAss

"My mom wanted me..."

My mom wanted me to be a doctor. Followed closely by lawyer. I'm 28 and she is still trying to get me to be a lawyer.

TheRebuttoning

"To get..."

To get a blue collar factory job that I'd hate that would work me to death with 6 days of 12 hour shifts just because it would get me money. Like literally recommending I drop out if college to do that, even though I have 0 qualifications and am not interested in that field. They also tried to convince my partner to do the same even though he has a good paying job.

meerkatherine

"Now I'm double majoring..."

Make babies, give them grandchildren, find a husband, and become a stay at home mom that homeschooled her kids.

Now I'm double majoring in STEM courses, planning to attend graduate school for a masters, and was even encouraged by one of my professors to pursue a PhD.

fem_in_stem


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People Share The Best Advice For Someone Starting Their First Job

Reddit user CampDreamy asked: 'What advice would you give someone starting their first job?''

man holding book on road during daytime
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Starting your first job is always nerve-wracking. The start of anything new usually is. That's why it's helpful to get some advice.

Before I started my first job, a friend of mine told me that there were a lot of things I should be willing to do in order to become indispensable, but one thing I should never do is give up lunch.

Even if it's a busy day and everyone is working through lunch, take five minutes to buy something at the deli next door or pop something in the microwave. You will not do your best work if you do not eat a meal.

I was very glad to get that advice, and it was something I always followed.

I also followed my own personal rule of writing down the process to do anything at work, even if it was as simple as where to look for a particular file. Anytime I thought 'oh, I'll remember,' I ended up having to ask again. It's always better to write it down so you not only know how to do it, but are the one that people come to when they need to know how to do it.

I'm not the only one that has good advice for someone starting their first job. Redditors are full of advice and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor CampDreamy asked:

"What advice would you give someone starting their first job?"

Think Positive

"95% of success is showing up on-time and not having a bad attitude."

– Firebolt164

"There’s a quote that goes something like: you don’t need an advanced degree to show up on time, work hard, and have a positive attitude."

"I basically used this as my mantra as I built my career (and still do)."

– tyrannosean

"This has been my experience in my first ~5 years of employment. Being someone that people enjoy interacting with, sticking to deadlines, and broadly trying to make lives easier rather than harder will get you pretty close to the top, and it’s a lot easier than working overtime every day."

– 2catsinatrenchcoat

"Yep, when I was younger I always thought that just showing up on time, being a decent person to work with, and doing a good job were the bare minimum that everyone did....I learned later that this will put you above approximately 90% of your co-workers."

– raoulduke212

Sound Advice

"Poop on company time."

– 1320Fastback

"Well, sh*t."

– CampDreamy

"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."

– mrselfdestruct066

Everyone Makes Mistakes

"Don't worry about f**king up. You're going to f**k up. We all f**k up. Constantly."

"Learn from it when you f**k it up so you do it better next time and you'll be the best employee in any job."

– MaximumZer0

"And when (not if) you f**k up, own up to it, and do your best to fix it. It's way easier to fix a mistake when it first happens than 3 weeks or even hours down the line. This applies to basically any field."

– super5aj123

Gossip Girl

"Listen to gossip if you want, but never spread it."

– GamerMomLife

"Yep. I worked in a private pool snack bar kitchen last summer, and nearly all of my coworkers were high school girls. The amount of sh*t they talked on each other was insane, but I just tried my best to not get involved. It never became anything other than sh*t-talking, but it's just a good idea in general to keep your head down."

– super5aj123

"I work in a kitchen with majority middle-aged women, and it's simular to what you described."

– DeadStar800

Do It All

"If they tell you to sweep, just sweep. You still make the same amount. Unless you’re an MD or something else, in that case you’re f**ked!"

– PublicEnema11

"A programmer consultant I knew in the 90s lived by the motto "it all pays the same.""

"You want him to spend his $50/hr time doing things that an unpaid intern could handle? Sounds like an easy day."

– Cacafuego

(Don't) Let It Burn, Burn, Burn

"Don’t burn bridges if you quit or get fired."

– kbrown423

""Never cut what you can untie.""

"- Robert Frost"

– sophistt_

It's All Public

"Assume everybody in the company plus clients will read every email you send."

– CouchieWouchie

"Yeah this is genuinely a great rule that will save your @ss. Write every email as if it will be read by the whole org."

– FrungyLeague

"Also speak as though anything you say is being recorded."

– squished_frog

Protect Yourself

"Document EVERYTHING. Every time punch. Every direction from your supervisor."

– DejectedDonut

"Do this if you are working outside your duties/responsibilities as well, or directed to do things. You want a paper trail of why you did what you did if something screwy happens."

"Ideally, the work place should concentrate on policy, protocol, training, engineering and admin controls and such... but well stuff isnt always ideal."

– Zech08

Work Friends

"You're going to feel tempted to make strong relationships with your coworkers - but remember that you shouldn't share with anyone what you wouldn't want known by everyone. You may think you can trust someone, but you should have a bit of caution."

"A lot of work relationships feel a bit like a friendship, but they are not. If they move on, or you do, it is rare that you will stay in touch. Accept it for what it is."

– Mobtor

Education

"Take advantage of tuition reimbursement to get degrees/certifications that will benefit your career and don't worry about "owing" the company for it."

"Many industries have pretty generous tuition reimbursement programs where they cover your school but you owe them time after they cut those checks. A typical program might have a requirement that if you leave the company you need to pay back anything they had paid out in the last two years."

"The thing is that you want to leverage that degree for a salary jump and the current company won't give it to you because they have you "locked" in now, right?"

"So you interview for your next job and when that company gives you an offer you explain that you're on the hook for the tuition reimbursement at your old company "and since you will be getting the benefit of that education I will need a signing bonus to cover my financial obligation to my current employer.""

"Keep in mind that the signing bonus will be taxable income so you need to shoot for an amount that will have taxes taken out and leave what you need to pay back the tuition."

"I've known too many people who didn't get a degree that could have really helped them but they didn't want to be "on the hook" to their employer. I even know one guy who spent close to $30k out of his own pocket to get a master's degree because he didn't want to "be stuck here" when he was done."

– tacknosaddle

The Little Moments Matter

"Don’t miss any major life events (or the major life events of close family/friends) for work. You might feel pressure from your employer not to take the time off."

"The family/friends will still be around for many years, the first job probably won’t."

– mxxiestorc

Learn To Save

"Pension! Pension! Pension!"

"Put as much as you can afford to into your pension. Retirement might seem a lifetime away but the sooner you save for it the sooner you can achieve it."

– Grayzo

Money, Money, Money

"Pack a lunch! Eating out can put a huge dent in your paycheck!"

– awileycat

"Can't stress this enough. For the price of eating out unhealthy food for 1 day you can usually pack healthier lunch for 2-3 days."

– QuantumExileMusic

Oh, yes! I found out about that last one the hard way...and still haven't learned!

An hourglass with blue sand sits among a field of rocks
Photo by Aron Visuals

Just the other evening, I was walking home, and I barely survived.

I tripped on a dead tree branch.

The next thing I knew, I was flying in the air and landing on my back.

My belongings were strewn about.

And my to-go burger was dead.

A simple walk.

A simple dead branch.

And almost lights out.

Redditor Typical_XJW wanted to hear about the times people eluded death, so they asked:

"How did you almost die?"

Don't even get me started on any and every car ride.

We're always moments from the end on highways.

Back in the Day...

Hunger Games Student GIFGiphy

"Almost drowned when I was 5 or 6, been hospitalized twice for sepsis between 2016 and 2019, and had a stroke this year. I'm 29."

ChristmasKid88

On the Disk

"MRSA infection in the disk on my lower spine between L5 and S1. Showed up two days after a cortisone shot but the hospital said it was from something else. Was in hospital 25 days multiple emergency surgeries."

EatA**FromBack

"I worked for a doctor who did these in-house and other procedures, and it 100% made me not trust medical facilities, cleanliness, and sterilization procedures. Had about twenty patients all come down with the same gut infection, 'coincidentally,' the same patients who came in for endoscopy procedures the same day."

dimlylit_

Saved

"Saving a younger friend from drowning, he panicked and almost took me out."

loztriforce

"Had that happen with a younger cousin when we were kids. His brother and I went to save him, he climbed on both of us and pushed us under. Lifeguard didn’t even see us until he pulled younger cousin out of the water, then we popped up gasping for air."

coffeejunki

Shucked

"16-year-old farm kid me, stepdad told me to go pick up a load of corn seed for planting. I had gone with him many times before, and driven the truck (full ton dually diesel) and hauled light stuff with it. Nobody told me how different it is to haul 10,000 lbs of seed on a big flatbed trailer on gravel. I had a lot of common sense and was driving slowly and carefully."

"Still… 10,000+ lbs pushed me down a gravel hill skidding, praying to god I stopped before the stop sign at the T intersection to a busy highway. I came to a grinding halt JUST as the front of the truck crossed the plane where the gravel turned to asphalt. A semi was coming from one direction and regular cars from the other. I shudder thinking about what if on that one. Don’t let untrained kids tow potentially deadly, heavy trailers, with zero training."

datnetcoder

Finding Tracks

College Sports Sport GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy

"Was backwoods camping in Yellowstone and if I hadn’t considered for 30 seconds if I REALLY needed to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have walked out of my tent headfirst into a brown bear, which I heard before leaving and found tracks of next to my tent in the morning. Spookiest moment of my life in hindsight."

danvo5

Bears are a no go for me.

Camping is an even bigger HECK NO!!

Several Strikes

Reassuring Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy

"Twice. 1. Woke up to my apartment on fire."

"2. Hit head-on by a drunk driver on a small bus, just after everyone got off bus exploded."

lizard_king0000

Oh Barb

"Lmao okay, so I was getting my teeth cleaned, and I got nitrous oxide because I have so many exposed roots. Well, my hygienist at the time was this lovely lady from Minnesota. Kinda flaky, but super sweet, and talked about her family all the time. So I'm in the chair and she hooks up my mask, and away we go. I actually fell asleep! Except not so much."

"Turns out Barb had forgotten to turn the oxygen on and had been feeding me straight nitrous. She only noticed because I started gasping for air while unconscious. So that's how I almost died at the dentist. I never saw Barb again, but I tell you, that was the best nap of my life!"

CharismaticAlbino

Climb Up

"I was snorkeling. I had my other stuff stored on a rock by the water, about 3 meters high. When I got out, I decided to climb straight up. Almost at the top, the rock I was hoisting myself up on came off and I fell back first onto the coral. If a friendly wave hadn’t come in, I would have broken my back, at least."

Yugan-Dali

Blood Loss

"I was diagnosed with a rare fatal blood disorder from birth, doctors projected I’d live till about 6 and then die from massive blood loss. As this was the mid-90s, they tested the idea of using stem cells from my sibling's umbilical cord; administering the first successful stem cell transplant from a sibling donor and I’m still here to tell the tale!"

Material_Cry1697

These were some tremendously close calls.

Do you have any near-death experiences to share? Let us know in the comment below.

Paper heart ripped in half
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

When it comes to the dating scene, most of us have a pretty low opinion of people who choose to cheat on their partners, not to mention serial cheaters.

But that doesn't seem to stop some people from doing the deed.

Curious, Redditor miaah214 asked:

"People who have cheated before, why did you do it?"

Revenge Cheat

"He cheated first, and I was young, petty, and thought revenge would make me feel better."

- Witch_on_a_moped

Immature and Selfish

"Unbridled ego, unsatisfying regular sex life, and a girl who threw herself at me."

"I was an idi*t, I acted like an a**hole, and I will regret it for the rest of my life."

"It was a hard truth to face. It was a dark time in my life where my ego and my immaturity caused me to hurt several people I loved."

"Fortunately, I learned from it, and while I can't take back the pain I caused, at least now I know that I am 100% capable of being an a**hole and so can choose not to be one."

- Seba_King

Insecurity

"Insecurity. I was always on the lookout for someone who would make me feel more desirable than the last. It was a serious youthful lack of judgment."

"Once I grew up emotionally, I realized what a piece of s**t I was and the hurt I caused. Hard to live with, to be honest."

- Penfold_for_PM

Just Desire

"100% pure lust. That’s it. I’m not proud of it."

- mydepressingpoems

Lots of Options

"Willing partners. It was amazing how many times when I did have a steady girlfriend that I would suddenly get propositioned by random women or worse yet, my girlfriend's friends or sisters."

"Too many times to be a fluke."

"It was like they figured if you are in a relationship, you're worth pursuing."

"But when I was single, most times I couldn't get a woman's attention."

"So it was an ego boost, but ultimately, I decided to be a better person, and I met a person who I truly thought was 'the one.'"

"And to a certain extent I did, it just didn't last through no fault of my own."

- Patient-Quarter-1684

In Need of Validation

"When you grow up being in turn neglected and told you're not good enough, validation is like a drug, and intimacy is the ultimate validation."

"Sooooo much therapy to undo this."

- RowhammerBitflip

"This. I’m just recently realizing how I didn’t receive enough attention and validation from my parents and how much it’s influenced my choices. Meeting someone and having them be into me physically is the easiest validation boost I can find."

"People who grew up with parents actually interested in them and with an instilled sense of self-confidence don’t know how good they have it."

"I don’t inherently feel important or relevant so I’m always looking for someone to tell me otherwise."

- tellitothemoon

The Thrill of It

"Because I was a f**king a**hole 20-year-old who only thought of himself and getting some action. The high of it."

"I'm 37 now. No cheating since then."

- Temporary_Fault6402

The Real Joy

"My ex was done in the bedroom and even said they were no longer interested in me physically or sexually."

"I should have left at that point, but with kids and the financial hit of divorce, I just looked to fulfill that need."

"I later divorced, and it was a big financial hit, but oh my god, what a relief it was getting out. Getting out of an abusive relationship is where the true pleasure comes from."

- loomdog1

In Need of Attention

"My partner cheated on me shortly after I had his baby. I wanted to leave, but I convinced myself to stay. The logistics of having a baby and 24-hour care are challenging on your own. He refused to have sex with me."

"At some point, someone got me in a weak spot. Somewhere between exhaustion, low self-esteem, and the sheer opportunity of having an orgasm were too strong for me. I’m deeply ashamed."

"Shortly after I picked myself up, the relationship ended. I should have left sooner."

"Someone telling you that you are beautiful, talented, and special after being invisible can feel like a drug. I don’t expect sympathy from anyone for my actions. But I do have a lot of sympathy for others now."

- throwawaythrowyellow

The Easier Option

"Because I chose a cowardly and easy path. Instead of going to therapy and ending my toxic relationship, I cheated on them with someone who I had convinced myself I was in love with and loved me."

"As it turns out, breaking up with someone is a lot less harmful to everyone involved than cheating."

- dodongosbongos

Devastating Choices

"Not me, but a guy friend cheated and the reason he gave was that he loved his fiancée but they had very different sex drives."

"He also said that when he brought it up to her (the difference in their sex drives and the problems it would cause) she begged him not to leave and insisted it wouldn’t be an issue."

"He told her it already WAS an issue and, as a last resort, she said she would understand if SOME DAY he felt the need to look elsewhere…just as long as she never found out."

"The girl admitted to saying all this but explained that she would have said anything for them to stay together in that moment, she didn’t think he’d actually be 'f**ked up enough to cheat' and she never imagined he would do it so soon."

- Dramiotic

The Perfect Combination

"A perfect storm of poor impulse control, untreated mental illness, and boredom."

"People on the moral high ground will tell you not to cheat for reasons like morality and integrity; from the moral low ground, I can tell you that the lifelong guilt, shame, and remorse are not worth it."

- LowCarbBeesechussy

Emotionally Done

"Because the relationship was done and I was already moving on emotionally. I just didn't care about her enough to care whether she was hurt or not. Honestly, in hindsight, I have zero idea why we were still together. It DID make the eventual breakup a lot messier."

"I was young and it taught me an important lesson. If you're done, just be done and leave. There's no point in dragging it out. If you're ready to start looking for another relationship, start by ending the relationship you're already in."

- codefyre

Ready to Make Up for It

"I had a perceived lack of affection. I felt ugly and disgusting and like I was just an emotional tampon."

"I would never do it again. In therapy, I learned a lot about the reasons I did what I did and in all honesty, if she would even entertain the idea of trying again, I’d spend every day making up for it and making sure she felt more love then can be imagined."

"I’m currently fulfilling into the man I know I can be. I just wish it took a more positive trigger in order to start that for me."

- Anthonys455

Let's end it -- the article, that is -- on a lighter note.

The Worst Kind of Cheating

"My wife wasn’t around. The house was empty."

"I couldn’t wait for her to get home, so I watched the next episode without her knowing."

"Honey, if you’re reading this… I’m so sorry."

- six6sickx

"You're a monster."

- Efficient_Ad_8367

It's so hard to imagine what's going on inside someone else's head or why they might choose to do the things that they do, especially if it's something we don't agree with.

It's at least heartening to see that many of these Redditors used these experiences as learning opportunities and have since gone on to treat the most treasured people in their lives a little differently.

Smartphone showing a lighting switch app
Moritz Kindler/Unsplash

Making yourself feel at home takes work but not as much as you think.

Homeowners, for example, are apprehensive about renovations because of how much costs.

Even tenants renting a home can feel like they're stuck in a situation where they don't feel comfortable because of minor inconveniences they think requires major solutions to fix.

Cut to this Reddit thread, where the ideas for affordable home improvement options were shared that may make you wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Curious to hear some tips from strangers online, Redditor Super_dupa2 asked:

"What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?"

We tend to overcomplicate things when solutions can be simplified.

Taking Charge

"Methodically buying phone chargers with long enough cables to not have to ever move one again."

– ihadtowalkhere

"I am a pretty mellow dad (benign neglect parenting style for 5 kids) but I have two rules. Nobody messes with my bedside charger and nobody steals my two pillows."

"So, as such, I make many, long chargers available for everybody. It costs me a fortune:)"

– nicktam2010

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

"Blackout curtains for sleeping. Such a game changer."

– blehbleh1122

"And they keeps my bedroom cooler."

– BunjaminFrnklin

"Insulated blackout curtains make a 10f difference in my living room on hot days."

– TryUsingScience

A Cool Idea

"Attic heat exhaust fan. Our attic used to get up to 140F on the hottest days, and on those days our ceilings were hot to the touch. The whole house was consequently uncomfortable. Now the attic fan is thermostatically controlled to 90 degrees, and the whole house is cooler."

– jermleeds

"I added a passive whirly bird that does the same thing. Heat rises and escapes before it can accumulate to those extreme levels. It also happens to be clear acrylic so now there's always light up there too which helps keep away any vermin.

– cantwejustplaynice

No major bathroom renovations are required to make tenants happy.

No More Slamming

"Soft close cabinets and toilet seats."

– AreWeCowabunga

"We have a soft close toilet seat at our home and every time I'm at a hotel, I completely forget that they aren't usually soft close and the slam startles me 😂"

– PinkHamster08

Nozzle Upgrades Can Do The Trick

"A better shower. If you can't redo the whole bathroom, just replace the head. This also works if you rent, just keep the old one in a box, so you can bring the nice one to your next house."

– maartenvanheek

"I'm a renter and I finally installed a better shower head this year, after just using the default head in all my apartments for almost 20 years. 10/10, highly recommend."

– Am_I_a_Guinea_Pig

Perfect Welcoming Gesture

"My wife and I own a smallish apartment complex . One of the things we do every time a new tenant arrives is replace the toilet seat. I learned that trick from my parents who had about a dozen single-family rentals. It's amazing the goodwill you receive from a tenant simplify giving them a new toilet seat. We actually put the box behind the toilet so they know it's new."

– YouInternational2152

It's electrifying!

Think Smart

"Smart outlets for Christmas lights, both inside and outside. I have them scheduled to turn on at sunset and turn off at midnight."

– Revolutionary-Try746

"Smart outlets are one of my favorite purchases. During Halloween and Christmas, we’re using multiple outlets for inflatables, house lights, and tree lights. The smart outlets allow you to have everything synced so they all turn in at the same time."

– cppadam

Things Are Looking Bright

"Replaced dated lighting fixtures - fixtures are now properly grounded, the interior looks more updated, and there is more/better light."

– SnooCauliflowers9981

Energy Conservation Option

"Motion activated light switch for the laundry room. Never have to worry about turning off the light when leaving with an arm full of clothing."

– AmazingAsian

Creating an environment can make a huge difference.

Source Lighting For The Win

"Lighting can absolutely make a huge difference in the way you feel in your room. Get some shoulder height (when you are sitting) lamps for your living room. You will notice a shift in how much more relaxed you feel when you use those instead of the overheads."

– ShoesAreTheWorst

Home Art Gallery

"Spending a day mounting my artwork. It felt so much more like my home after that."

– GinGimlet

"Every time I've moved, I put that off for way too long, then finally break down and do it and the house feels so much better to be in."

– Triolion

One major upgrade was our VE hybrid tech water boiler and warmer we got from Japan.

The Zojirushi kitchen appliance uses VE, or vacuum electric, technology for very minimal electricity to maintain the water temperature at a constant 195° so we always have hot water at the touch of a button.

There's no more time wasted boiling hot water over the stove every time we want tea or the occasional instant cup noodles.

Game changer.