People Explain Which Things Their Parents Pressured Them To Do Growing Up
How many times have you heard your relatives ask you why you're wasting your time pursuing art when you could go out there to be a doctor or lawyer or something useful?
Sucks, doesn't it? You bet it does.
After Redditor Sky451 asked the online community, "What's something your parents constantly pressured you to do growing up?" people proved to be quick with their answers.
"Grade F"
GiphyGet better grades, be better at sports, nothing is EVER good enough. We have a couple of levels of schools, I wasn't in the highest, but scored 100% in my exam: not the highest level though, so nobody cares about your 100%.
Became the best in a certain sport in my country: well you're not World Champion are you, this means nothing.
They messed me up big time, took over 10 years of counseling. Floor-is
"Champions"
"Became the best in a certain sport in my country: well you're not World Champion are you"
Sorry they did that to you. Being the best in your country at anything is an incredible accomplishment, so congrats that you were there at one point.
My parents taught me that there would always be somebody better than me (not in a negative sense), especially when it came to sports. This was really helpful growing up, as there was never pressure to be THE best. big_thiccie2_0
"Arouns 12"
Around 12.
My Dad made me pay him 5c every time I said the word UMM because I was using it too much and it made me sound dumb.
If at the end of the day I didn't say UMM once, he gave me $5.
Got me outta the habit in about 2 weeks - lasted my whole life. nomdeplume_alias
"Stay skinny!"
Stay skinny! My mom made me start drinking diet pop when I was 14 because I was about 90 lbs and "might get fat." She jedi mind messed me up for most of my adult life.
Edit: for those wondering I was 5'3" at 14 and topped out at 5'4" at 15. PuppyPavilion
"Hush Bro"
GiphyNever raise my voice, even before fights I'll say mean crap in a polite voice. Ex: "hey bro, f*** you"
You read that quietly didn't you? IsmalCox
"useful"
When choosing my career, they prompted me to value money over passion. carmmee
In my country there is a huge rate of unemployment. My parents insisted in making me study something I didn't love but was "useful." At the end, I have been years in a job not related at all with my studies and thinking if studying what I liked could have changed all that... at least I would have tried. angryhippo29
"Knock. Knock. Who's There?"
Knocking before you go into a room. I learned the hard way. BUT THEY NEVER KNOCK AND YOU KNOW HOW MANY DAMN TIMES THEY HAVE WALKED IN!! LDT124
The worst is my dad will knock and walk in. Like what's the point of knocking if you're just gonna walk in anyways? HassanaliBhimji
"Career"
Career. You need good grades, you should go to university, you should aim for being a lawyer or a doctor, doesn't matter what makes you happy! As a women, you should be educated and have a big ass career, you owe that to us!
Well screw you, I can't work due to health issues and am a housewife now lol. Reddit
"Pretty Enough"
This still makes me cringe to this day. My mum thought I'd make a great model. Ok yes I was tall and thin, maybe 'pretty' enough but I was very shy and awkward. I was the teenager that wanted to hide at the back room in a crowd and hoped I wasn't noticed by anyone ever... and if you spoke to me I'd blush bright red, stutter and trip over anything I said.
Mum refused to listen or notice I had not even close the personality needed to model.. and she signed me up to modeling courses, photography classes etc. Pure torture and hell on earth. At the end of a 10 week course there would be a graduation night. OMG... catwalk modeling in swimwear and day wear and formal wear. Far out... I'm starting to hyperventilate now just thinking about it.
Spoiler alert. I didn't become a famous model (or any sort of model). Years later I did overcome my shyness and can now even run workshops and do public speaking but damn mum, she made my teen years hell... shudder.... I can still see her pulling out a new brochure or pamphlets for some new course she'd found that she was sure was 'the one' that would have some talent scout find me. To this day she'll pull out photo albums with pictures of me on stage.. 'look how gorgeous you were'.. and all I see is the terror in my eyes lol. CheeryCherryCheeky
"To the Left"
GiphyStarted out writing with my left hand, was forced to change that. Now I'm left handed but I can write only with my right hand. Messed me up in subtle ways I can't quite explain. loopmutant
"Play What?"
Go outside and play. JackThomsom
I'm an only child. What am I supposed to do out there by myself. RhythmicStaccato
Yeah I feel you. I'm an only child as well, there were no other kids living near me, the few friends that I had all lived a few miles away, my parents almost never let me invite one of them over and I wasn't allowed to go over to their place on my own. So there just wasn't a whole lot I could do outside. SmokeWineEveryday
"The Perfect Son"
My parents have always tried to make me their perfect son. As if they're trying to make me as they would of liked when they were my age. My dad forced my into crap like cricket and painting which I never liked and was never good at. When they gave up on tryna teach me they still constantly remind me me on how much I used to "like" doing it. I've always wanted to make some form of content say on YouTube or twitch but my parents have always told me that it's a waste of time that I'll never get anything out of but like ffs what happened to all that sh!t you were trying to make me like. How tf has that helped me and my life. Porge069
"Adulting"
GiphyGrow up. liquidxavius
Good advice for anyone, but most often used as a weapon against others because they didn't do what YOU wanted them to do. Cats-Ate-My-Pizza
"thanks mom"
Play golf, Swim, everything that could potentially set me up for in the future. I just wanted to be the perfect daughter and I felt so lost trying to do things to make me happy and them happy. Fast forward about two years, and I found out that my boyfriend golfed, so I am currently back in the game, thanks mom. avamidori
"50+"
GiphyYou need to have your own life planned 50 years ahead. RybaYTC
I would genuinely love to know about one person who managed to plan their life and succeeded to stick to their plan! tomasves02
"AMEN"
My mom always tried to force me to go to church. I lost my faith when I was eight. I loved reading. I decided to read the Bible. I read a bunch of messed up things, and things contradicted each other A LOT.
I hated church, hated the fake people, hated everything about it.
She eventually stopped bringing me, when I'd point out in front of everyone the contradictions they were preaching. guitarfingers
"Back Up Dad"
Play sports:
Team sports specifically, and it was my dad doing the pressuring. I tried soccer, basketball, baseball, swimming, and even lacrosse. But then I got into karate and my dad had very little support for me in that but it helped me be a better person in all aspects.
It helped me be more outgoing and it taught me discipline and respect for others as well as how to defend myself.
While I was doing that I was learning guitar which my dad also did not show support until I started getting really good and playing in bands.
TL:DR my dad pushed me to play team sports but I chose music and karate instead without his support. frozeneskimo02
"Brotherly Mess"
Be more like my younger brother. My brother could keep his room clean, focus better in school, was a healthier weight, and wasn't as awkward around people. Here's the kicker, he's never lived on his own. He went from living at home to living with his girlfriend, now wife. He would be completely clueless if he had to take care of bills, groceries, and all that stuff alone. I also spent most of my life with my ADHD undiagnosed. It's been in the last 7ish years that I even found out I have ADHD. Despite all this, I still love my brother because none of it was his fault. He was just doing his thing like I was. LittleMissRawr78
"Don't Overdue"
Being overly prepared. It just left me carrying around all these random objects on trips for just in case this very of rare incident happened (it never did) and more seriously made me a very anxious person. arbio
SAME, it got to the point where i stopped going places so i didn't have to lug around useless crap. haydenantonino
"The pigskin"
GiphyPlaying football. Everyone wanted me to be this great football player because my dad was pretty good and played through college. I played even though I hated it until I was in the 7th grade... to make things worse for about 2 to 3 of those years my dad was one of my coaches and he worked me so hard, which added to the reasons I didn't want to play. ctw1271
"1 line of code at a time"
My father would constantly tell me to work in a world changing app "1 line of code at a time". it didn't make sense to me then, and even now i still don't understand it, I got into coding thanks to that constant push but even to this day I don't think you can program a cohesive app like that. HistoricalFun4
"Happy-Thank You"
It might not be that important, but my parents would hound me about saying BOTH "Happy Halloween" and "Thank you" after getting candy while trick or treating. If I didn't say one of them, they would constantly remind me for the next few houses. It was when I was old enough to understand, but young enough to get flustered in front of a stranger and forget what I was supposed to say. TYUIOP-AI-ASSISTANT
"I'm Out!"
GiphyMy parents force me to become a advocate for handling all law matters in court. InformationalCorner
"the search"
Searching for a job. Red_Distruction
Same here. My mom wanted me to work in any dead end apprentice job when I was a teenager (12-14 years) but I always refused. Didn't want to work a lot and lose my afternoons for almost no money. Current_Equal
"No Generic!"
Don't use cheap condoms. EhlersDanlosSucks
That is actually very good advice. boiyougongetcho
"Art is Broke"
GiphyGet a job in literally anything except art. They supported art as a hobby, but my whole family has admitted that they think I'll be a starving artist. CleverCrepe
Here is a flow chart on making a living as an artist:
Do you draw fetish stuff on the internet?
No->Starving artist.
Yes->Grats on your sweet gig. ControlledSingular
"it's beautiful."
i'm a trans man, i was named after my great grandmother when i was born. i tried to come out to my parents as trans a couple times and they just acted like they didn't hear me but would then go out of their way to talk about my gender - ie., "what dress are you wearing to prom?" "you know, your name has been in the family for generations. it's beautiful." "your dad always wanted a baby girl, he was so happy when you were born" etc. etc. that last one was a big point of guilt and hesitation for me since i have 5 brothers and no sisters from my dad.
thing is, i really like my old name. it just didn't fit. they eventually listened to me when i took them to a therapy session with me and came out then. especially took me seriously when i started hormones. they're both a lot more open-minded and accepting now, but from 14-18 yrs old i just sort of assumed they were going to disown me. qbtic
"Ball Time"
Play baseball. I was always into basketball and football as a kid. My dad is kinda racist and said a white kid like me had a better chance in baseball. And that it was safer and I could play it longer. I was pretty stubborn so I hated baseball until I was about 17. FoghornLeghornnn
"the ivories"
GiphyPiano classes. Took 7 years and I hated every day of music school. Also, to be a good Christian. Which was kind of useless in the end. Rudzis12
"Don't Cry"
Kind of to be a silent submissive wife with children. Whenever I showed emotion or got rightfully upset about something it was always "I'll give you something to cry about" or that I don't respect them. So depressed teenage years came and some lashing out as an adult because I bottled up all my emotions until it got too much and I realized I needed a lot of therapy. So almost three years of therapy, a loving and compassionate partner (soon to be husband) later I'm almost at a point where I no longer show bursts of emotions but try to explain why I'm upset or angry.
The kids part turned into "I can actually choose not to be a mom? That's amazing because I actually don't want them". Lifted a lot of weight of my chest and after a couple of persistent years (where are my graaaaaaandbaaaaabys) they don't ask anymore. penguinforscale
" It didn't work "
I used to be a super creative, ginormous book worm. My family encouraged it, and i loved the attention. The fantasy worlds I escaped to and burned through at lightning speed was nice, too. Then, i started my freshman year of high school. That ability to win the award for most AR points crashed, and my aunt asked where that'd gone. She tried making me get a book to bring it back... It didn't work. Honestly? It kinda hurt that i was expected to be the bookworm, even after I'd grown out of that phase. I still love fiction stories, don't get me wrong, I just read it on AO3 now. SaandGuardiaan
"being demi"
Be perfect. Get good grades. Don't say anything that will upset 1 person in the world or you're a disappointment. You can't be fat or nobody will love you (said to me when I was 9). Don't speak. Look perfect.
A big one: Don't lie about your stupid head. This was after I finally got the courage to tell my family about my sucidal thoughts and depression. Also, after I came out to my older sister as a demisexual. Reddit
"Athletics Again"
GiphySports. I was not a naturally athletically gifted child, and team sports were the worst for me, but my parents insisted on signing me up for soccer, softball, volleyball, and basketball leagues for years. I still hate participating in any kind of sport to this day. alwaystimeforcoffee_
"Be Normal"
Be normal. I was her freak child who was always bad no matter what I did. I didn't behave how she liked, didn't like the right things, didn't dress right (she had me in hand me down male clothes, how could I look like a girl wearing them???). I was just never good enough no matter what I did. She hated my hair. She refused to let me have friends while at the same time telling me I was a freak and would never have any.
As an adult she still hated who I am. I'm too tall, too big. I don't dress right, don't look right, don't like the right things, I'm not the child she wanted. We haven't talked in a few years now. I'm a normal girl, a bit too tall but normal. I have friends, I met a sweet man who she would hate because he isn't white. I'm everything she hates, because she's jealous. She even told me she was. I've had to fight to get this life. Zanki
"Education"
GiphyMy mom always said that me and my younger brother had to graduate high school. Both my older sisters did so i guess she just wanted all of her children to graduate. It sounds reasonable enough right? But sadly my mom passed away when i was 13 so at that point i basically just stopped caring about school and pretty much everything else and i started drinking,smoking and i said forget it and dropped out during my sophomore year. My brother also dropped out during his sophomore year but not a day goes by that i don't regret not staying in school. I'm also sure that my poor mom would have been disappointed in both of us for not finishing. Stay in school kids. cappilla
"Decison Maker"
Have an idea of what i wanted to do with my life - in no way were they pressuring me to do a specific thing, and they were very clear that they were supportive of whatever i choose. They just wanted me to know what i wanted to do so I could work towards it; which as a very indecisive (but stressy) person just added extra internal pressure. StarshipCaptains
"Pennysaver"
To not spend money.
Parents constantly screamed at each other about minor stuff, like $5 on screwdrivers from Walmart despite being pretty damn wealthy.
Dad made over 200k annually, but I was too scared to ask for money to go on a 5th grade class field trip to six flags.
Ended up being the only one in class who didn't go.
Sat with a substitute teacher in class until I lied and said my mom was supposed to pick me up at 10. Walked home and lied saying that it was a half-day. YeOLDEdandy
"Jesus Who?"
GiphyGo to church. I was a pretty self motivated kid who loved school so they didn't have to worry about me too much in general.
I'm a successful adult now, but an atheist. Sorry mom and dad! queennbee
"A family friend..."
A family friend of mine wasn't allowed to date as a teenager. If he showed interest in a girl his parents just teased him about it, or they told him that relationships distracted him from getting good grades.
As a result he then became quite hesitant in interacting with the opposite gender and unfortunately it shows now. He's now in his late 20s and whilst he has a very successful career, he still hasn't even kissed a girl and is still generally very awkward around women.
The moment he graduated university, his parents have been saying "When are you going to bring a nice girl home? We want grandkids!". They've been constantly hounding him about it. I have a feeling they are going to be massively disappointed, but at the same time I hope he proves me wrong.
"Fluid Now"
I'm not sure if it was intentional or not but they really emphasized gender roles and would make fun of me if I ever did something that went against my assigned sex. Jokes on them though, now I've realized I'm genderfluid and am being as masculine and feminine as I damn well please. Robinisnotaline
"Here on behalf..."
Here on behalf of Asians. The three magic words are: Doctor, lawyer or engineers.
Any other career is a failure.
"You're so smart"
Because I like to write, they assumed that I always was capable of writing anything at any given time, and couldn't grasp that maybe I didn't always WANT to write, and maybe I was blocked sometimes. Creativity isn't just a switch you can flip on or off... at least in my experience.
I also constantly got the "You're so smart, you should aim higher and higher than where you currently are" spiel. Aka the "nothing is ever enough" spiel. Let me figure out what my own damn happy place is, thanks.
"Alcohol..."
Alcohol, as early as 13 I was doing shots with family and friends. I live in Wisconsin and am surrounded by alcoholism. Now I'm 34 years old with the liver of a 50 year old sailer. Cheers matey.
"In a bit of a role reversal..."
In a bit of a role reversal, I've always been pressured by my mom to become a professor of arts or humanities and it drives me crazy. There's a lot of creative professionals on her side of the family so I've had a lot of experience with that sort of thing but it's never "clicked." I'm starting to get my sh!t together to apply to law school this fall and she's gotten super cagey talking about it.
"Chores."
Chores. Like, an insane amount. I'm almost certain my dad only wanted kids in order to clean up his mess. After I got a job in high school they had me come home during my open school periods in order to get my chores done because I was no longer around after school to do them.
"That sounds like a good thing..."
Be self sufficient/independent. This sounds like a good thing and it is, in moderation. But sometimes kids need some emotional or financial support. 10 year olds should not be made to feel guilty for having needs, like sympathy or socks.
"My mom wanted me..."
My mom wanted me to be a doctor. Followed closely by lawyer. I'm 28 and she is still trying to get me to be a lawyer.
"To get..."
To get a blue collar factory job that I'd hate that would work me to death with 6 days of 12 hour shifts just because it would get me money. Like literally recommending I drop out if college to do that, even though I have 0 qualifications and am not interested in that field. They also tried to convince my partner to do the same even though he has a good paying job.
"Now I'm double majoring..."
Make babies, give them grandchildren, find a husband, and become a stay at home mom that homeschooled her kids.
Now I'm double majoring in STEM courses, planning to attend graduate school for a masters, and was even encouraged by one of my professors to pursue a PhD.
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Small Upgrades That Actually Made A Huge Difference In People's Homes
Reddit user Super_dupa2 asked: 'What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?'
Making yourself feel at home takes work but not as much as you think.
Homeowners, for example, are apprehensive about renovations because of how much costs.
Even tenants renting a home can feel like they're stuck in a situation where they don't feel comfortable because of minor inconveniences they think requires major solutions to fix.
Cut to this Reddit thread, where the ideas for affordable home improvement options were shared that may make you wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?"
Curious to hear some tips from strangers online, Redditor Super_dupa2 asked:
"What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?"
We tend to overcomplicate things when solutions can be simplified.
Taking Charge
"Methodically buying phone chargers with long enough cables to not have to ever move one again."
– ihadtowalkhere
"I am a pretty mellow dad (benign neglect parenting style for 5 kids) but I have two rules. Nobody messes with my bedside charger and nobody steals my two pillows."
"So, as such, I make many, long chargers available for everybody. It costs me a fortune:)"
– nicktam2010
Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
"Blackout curtains for sleeping. Such a game changer."
– blehbleh1122
"And they keeps my bedroom cooler."
– BunjaminFrnklin
"Insulated blackout curtains make a 10f difference in my living room on hot days."
– TryUsingScience
A Cool Idea
"Attic heat exhaust fan. Our attic used to get up to 140F on the hottest days, and on those days our ceilings were hot to the touch. The whole house was consequently uncomfortable. Now the attic fan is thermostatically controlled to 90 degrees, and the whole house is cooler."
– jermleeds
"I added a passive whirly bird that does the same thing. Heat rises and escapes before it can accumulate to those extreme levels. It also happens to be clear acrylic so now there's always light up there too which helps keep away any vermin.
– cantwejustplaynice
No major bathroom renovations are required to make tenants happy.
No More Slamming
"Soft close cabinets and toilet seats."
– AreWeCowabunga
"We have a soft close toilet seat at our home and every time I'm at a hotel, I completely forget that they aren't usually soft close and the slam startles me 😂"
– PinkHamster08
Nozzle Upgrades Can Do The Trick
"A better shower. If you can't redo the whole bathroom, just replace the head. This also works if you rent, just keep the old one in a box, so you can bring the nice one to your next house."
– maartenvanheek
"I'm a renter and I finally installed a better shower head this year, after just using the default head in all my apartments for almost 20 years. 10/10, highly recommend."
– Am_I_a_Guinea_Pig
Perfect Welcoming Gesture
"My wife and I own a smallish apartment complex . One of the things we do every time a new tenant arrives is replace the toilet seat. I learned that trick from my parents who had about a dozen single-family rentals. It's amazing the goodwill you receive from a tenant simplify giving them a new toilet seat. We actually put the box behind the toilet so they know it's new."
– YouInternational2152
It's electrifying!
Think Smart
"Smart outlets for Christmas lights, both inside and outside. I have them scheduled to turn on at sunset and turn off at midnight."
– Revolutionary-Try746
"Smart outlets are one of my favorite purchases. During Halloween and Christmas, we’re using multiple outlets for inflatables, house lights, and tree lights. The smart outlets allow you to have everything synced so they all turn in at the same time."
– cppadam
Things Are Looking Bright
"Replaced dated lighting fixtures - fixtures are now properly grounded, the interior looks more updated, and there is more/better light."
– SnooCauliflowers9981
Energy Conservation Option
"Motion activated light switch for the laundry room. Never have to worry about turning off the light when leaving with an arm full of clothing."
– AmazingAsian
Creating an environment can make a huge difference.
Source Lighting For The Win
"Lighting can absolutely make a huge difference in the way you feel in your room. Get some shoulder height (when you are sitting) lamps for your living room. You will notice a shift in how much more relaxed you feel when you use those instead of the overheads."
– ShoesAreTheWorst
Home Art Gallery
"Spending a day mounting my artwork. It felt so much more like my home after that."
– GinGimlet
"Every time I've moved, I put that off for way too long, then finally break down and do it and the house feels so much better to be in."
– Triolion
One major upgrade was our VE hybrid tech water boiler and warmer we got from Japan.
The Zojirushi kitchen appliance uses VE, or vacuum electric, technology for very minimal electricity to maintain the water temperature at a constant 195° so we always have hot water at the touch of a button.
There's no more time wasted boiling hot water over the stove every time we want tea or the occasional instant cup noodles.
Game changer.
"Daddy's Girl, Daddy's Girl, I'm the center of Daddy's world..." ~ "Daddy's Girl" by Red Sovine
A lot has been written about the bond between fathers and daughters.
But there's always room for improvement, right?
And who better to offer constructive criticism than daughters?
Reddit user Bluemonday82 asked:
"Daughters of Reddit: what's the biggest mistake dads make with their daughters?"
Affection
"My dad and I recently talked about how he stopped showing physical affection when I hit puberty (20 years ago). He didn't know how to act because his sisters got treated inappropriately by others when he was young, and he wanted to be sure I never felt like that."
"It resulted in me never getting hugs or kisses on the cheeks anymore. He also didn't know how to talk about it in the past."
"But in the last years, he worked through so much of his rough childhood and really learned to express himself better. He apologized, and I said I understood and that his intentions came from a good place, that the only bad thing was all the hugs we missed out on."
"We hugged for a really long time after that, and we've been hugging extra tight ever since."
"So I guess what I wanna say is, don't treat your daughters differently when their bodies start to change. And always keep talking!"
"I'm so proud of my dad for the person he's become."
"For a while, I didn't wanna hug my dad either. Puberty was rough for me, and the adults in my life kept acting like it was just a phase."
"And I guess it was, but that doesn't mean it wasn't the most emotionally complicated and lonely period of my life. The feelings weren't less real."
"My dad and I struggled a lot. He didn't know how to express himself at all, and I was so overwhelmed I didn't know either."
"I also grew up with two autistic brothers who needed a lot of care and attention. I love them so much, but it resulted in me always looking out for them and never learning (until just a few years ago) to properly give space to my own inner turmoil."
"My brothers were never physically affectionate either. But once I got out of the heaviest puberty years, I did want that affection from my dad. For a while, male physical attention was a very complicated topic for me."
"A Christian upbringing also played a role in that cause as a young girl growing into a woman, it had a lot to say about how I should behave around men."
"Something important to add is that my dad's rough childhood not only made it hard to show love but also receive it. His journey started with the realization that he had no idea how to react to getting compliments."
"I think that's a thing that a lot of men (from his generation especially, but also younger ones) will recognize. Know that we are all deserving of love and kindness, especially from our loved ones, but even more so from ourselves!"
"My dad couldn't ever have grown this much without learning to really understand what that means. And diving into the withholding of love from his parents heavily impacted how he dealt with that himself."
"I'm so glad my dad and I could both grow and work through our issues. Even if he couldn't show or say it, I never really doubted his love for me."
"But I know he would encourage you all to learn how to show and receive appreciation! That man is my example for people never being too old to learn."
"I'm sending love and strength to all of you who struggle with this in one way or another."
"And to the fathers who feel like their young kids don't want their affection, just know that this will most likely change again over time. They might act like they don't wanna hear it, but keep letting them know you're there for them."
~ yuffieisathief
Showing Up
"The one mistake my dad made was not really being present. A lot of the memories I have of him are him watching TV or being on the computer and not having time to play with me."
"He always said he’s too tired or he’ll come play later but then he never did. So since we never really bonded when I was little we weren’t all that close as I grew older either."
~ katie__kat
Communication
"Getting angry for something the kid doesn't know, and never teaching it. Not before and not even after getting angry.
"Doing something you know upsets the kid on purpose."
"Slamming doors and stuff in the house because you're angry."
"Not listening, and talking only to make themselves look smart and great parents rather than talking for helping."
~ yoyuayu
"I'll never forget the time my dad saw me put something metal in the microwave. I don't know how old I was, but I know I needed to push a chair to the counter to even reach the microwave."
"He SCREAMED at me for several minutes about how STUPID I was and how he couldn't believe I would do something SO INCREDIBLY DUMB and was I trying to start a fire??"
"I had no idea you weren't supposed to put metal in a microwave."
"I did learn a few things that day- don't put metal in the microwave and don't do anything wrong in front of Daddy. Oh, but you won't know if was wrong or not until too late..."
~ DrScarecrow
"Didn’t have to look very far to find the description of my dad—especially slamming doors and hitting things loudly when upset while stomping all over the house."
"People always get a kick out of how jumpy I am (easily startled), but it’s reflexive from anticipating loud bangs/crashing that would come out of nowhere every day."
~ ouija__bored
"My dad had such a short temper. He didn't necessarily hit me, but I got spanked til I was 9 years old and then my mom told him I was too old for that."
"But whenever he was angry (and that was a lot of the time) he'd scream and sometimes slam things."
"My husband slammed his hand onto the table a couple times during fights near the beginning, but realized he was wrong for acting like that, especially seeing how I'd immediately shut down. He's gotten much better."
~ Educational_Cat_5902
Being Your Child's Bully
"Singing in a falsetto voice and poking until your autistic kid is screaming at you to stop isn’t 'fun' or teaching them to be less sensitive, it’s why they don’t ever want to hang out with you."
~ Redqueenhypo
"Making fun when your small daughter is having big feelings."
"I got so furiously frustrated when my parents wouldn't listen to what I was trying to tell them and my dad just loooooved to mock my crying or squeaky 'upset' voice back at me."
"It made me so f*cking hurt and angry to not only be ignored and patronized, but actively MOCKED when I tried to communicate."
"Now as an adult I don't bother trying to share anything with them."
"Another classic was when I was disappointed and said, 'aww, man' he'd scrunch up his face, raise his voice three octaves, and 'AwW mAn!!' back at me."
"So now I wasn't just sad and disappointed, but sad, disappointed, and humiliated!"
"Imagine choosing to be your child's first bully... 😞"
~ Not_a_werecat
Just a Girl
"Or from my experience—not even bothering to teach anything because Dad assumes his daughter wouldn't be interested because she's a girl."
"Worse—actively making sh*tty jokes about women not liking those things."
~ Cinnapuns
"Not having anything to do with their daughters because the dad 'doesn't have anything in common with a girl'."
"This goes double if a son shows up and the dad is really involved in the son's life."
~ Dangerous_Contact737
Puberty Isn't a Disease
"My dad basically bailed on parenting once I hit puberty."
"Like, you think I’m enjoying this? It would have been great to have another supportive adult around."
~ captain_flasch
"Same! What’s up with that?"
"I remember having a good relationship with my dad as a child but he emotionally cut me off and stopped hanging out with me when the boobs came in."
"I would be lying if I said that I’m past it and it doesn’t f*ck with my head still."
~ Pandapartyatmidnight
Know Nothing
"Literally knowing nothing about their daughters lives."
"Those ‘funny’ videos where they ask fathers basic questions—like what their daughter's birthday, or eye color, or school is—and the dads have no idea are not at all funny.
"I love my dad but he can’t tell you anything about me—even the name of the place I’ve worked for over 6 years."
~ Lazylioness17
"One year when I was in elementary, my mom left a comically large piece of paper on the front door for my dad telling him not to forget to wish me a happy birthday."
"Not only did he not wish me a happy birthday, but he somehow didn’t see the gigantic sign when he walked in the house from work. So I got to read it when I got home from school."
"Sometimes I think about calling him to check in but then I think of that (and other complete fumbles) and then I just don’t."
~ TetonsTeaTin
"When I was in 4th grade, we did a Christmas recital where all the classes sung songs. My mom couldn’t make it because she had work so she sent my dad with the camcorder."
"He recorded the wrong kid. Very awkward watching the tape that night."
~ myturtlebitme
The original poster shared their reason for asking his question.
"Wanted to add that I'm a dad of a teen and that motivated me to ask this. The replies are just heartbreaking."
"I'm reading every single reply and I really hope all the dads and parents and basically everyone is learning something."
~ Bluemonday82
"Dad of an almost 4 year old daughter with two older brothers…. I’m scouring this post like there is cash on it somewhere."
~ Feeling_Advantage108
"I’m doing the same thing, stepdad that adores both my boy and girl. Couldn’t have kids myself. Searching for gold on this thread."
~ Numbthumbz
And the daughters appreciated it.
"This is healing my younger self—knowing that there are fathers trying to do right by their young girls.
"I'm 25 now and I think if he just would have asked me how I was doing (and meant it) it would have changed me a lot."
~ Loniceraa
"Same. My father was cartoonishly selfish, strict, controlling and mostly only saw me as a pretty, obedient mirror born to reflect his glory. What I thought, felt, liked, or wanted mattered very little and we seldom had what I would call 'real' conversations."
"Reading the posts of all the good fathers in this thread has been wonderful."
"I'm so happy there are tons of little girls out there with fathers who want to know them and see them for who they really are, who want to teach them things and bond with them."
"My father never wanted to get to know the real me, which is a shame because I'm a f*cking delight."
~ insolentpopinjay
As the OP stated, hopefully everyone has used this opportunity to learn something.
Is there anything you would add?
People Explain Which Things They'll Never Tell Their Significant Other About
Full disclosure at all times with your significant other, right?
Yeah, good luck with that.
Let's get real—there are things we don't tell our partners for a lot of reasons.
Sometimes you just don't feel like having to explain something that doesn't really affect them.
Sometimes you're protecting them from something that will have a devastating effect on them.
These are probably going to be more that second one...
Reddit user Janine_18 asked:
"What's the one thing you'll never tell your SO?"
Love/Hate Relationship
"She loves her siblings and hates her parents."
"I hate her siblings and love her parents."
"They were very tight with their parents for the first 3 years of our relationship, and in 2017-2018 all hell broke loose so to say. My partner has no personal animus towards her parents, she is however extremely close to her older sibling who has a heap of problems with their parents."
"My partner follows their lead and it guides her own relationship with their parents. And the reason her siblings have huge problems with their parents is that they retired, moved 20(!) whole minutes away from their childhood home and went on a vacation for a month.
"They are apparently 'selfish', 'inconsiderate', and 'don’t think of themselves as parents'. This despite the fact that they call and visit for every holiday, birthday, promotion, celebration of any kind. Dog and babysit. Frequently host. Communicate well."
"No the absolute truth is that my partner's siblings are black holes and not great."
"Would 'I radically dislike your one sibling and don’t trust the other at all” be a viable middle ground?'."
~ Agreed_fact
Sweet Tooth
"A few years ago, my girlfriend put a candy bowl in our hallway at our apartment for Halloween. She came home that day to discover that nobody took any candy, and she was a little bummed."
"Over the course of that week, I'd take candy out before work or when she was asleep."
"She got so happy that 'the neighbors loved the candy'. She does this every year now, and I have to continuously swipe the candy and pretend it is the neighbors."
"It makes her happy, and I get free candy. Win win."
~ AlecsWebHair
GiphyIn It For the House
"That I know she cheated on me and the only reason I haven't left her is because the mortgage interest rates are a bit high so I can't comfortably buy her half of the equity we have in the house."
"I got a valuation, a mortgage pre-approval, and a lawyer all ready to go... But would only have about $21 per week to spare... I'd be screwed the first time a major appliance or the car breaks down..."
~ H_He_Metals
Mommy Dearest
"That her mother is a bad person in disguise of a caring and beloved figure."
~ Relative_Rich8169
"My pet name for my girlfriend is Bambi."
"She thinks it's because has big brown eyes, but really it's because I want to shoot her mother with a rifle."
~ airblizzard
Giphy"That's my mother in law. For her daughter, she'll do anything... to the point that it's overbearing and controlling and difficult to deal with."
"And for everyone else, she is one of the least empathetic people I've ever met..."
"She CRIED when Rush Limbaugh died, and she literally said the Proud Boys are like the Boy Scouts. But she'll drop $2,000 on Christmas presents for one person like it's nothing, so she thinks she's owed respect and kind words."
"I literally had to tell her at one point, 'If you want me to stop calling you a Nazi, buying me more presents or arguing with me isn't going to do it, you have to stop saying Nazi-friendly sh*t'. But she didn't stop, of course."
"She thought COVID was no big deal until a family member died of it."
"She also makes tons of snide comments about my work. I'm a lawyer in Big Law, I make great money but it's soul sucking and I never wanted to do this forever, I want to work for the government."
"She'll see a postal worker and say 'That'll be you one day, government worker, not a great way to provide for my daughter'."
"Her daughter, my wife, is a DOCTOR who is going to make more than I do no matter what job I work, and she herself is a dentist who worked until her banker husband could retire at the same time as her."
"She talks sh*t about how I made her daughter an atheist (I didn't, she did that on her own), but she herself has NEVER read the Bible and hasn't been to church in 20 years."
"She unironically believes in aliens, Big Foot, and ghosts, and thinks she saw Mother Mary in the sky."
"All the bad things I tend to think about Republicans (they don't care about an issue until it personally affects them, they have no standards except double standards, they use religion as a cudgel but don't actively live a spiritual life, they believe insane sh*t with zero evidence, they're old fashioned and judgy and can't accept that the world is changing around them, etc...) is her to the letter."
~ 2Charming-Fig-2544
Magic the Retirement Fund
"How much my Magic the Gathering collection is worth."
"They'll absolutely try to get me to sell some of it."
"It's my precious."
~ Ganthamus_prime
GiphyFirst Impressions
"When he and I first met, I was CERTAIN he was gay."
"He is very much NOT gay."
"And he will NEVER know I ever thought this."
~ ShinyIrishNarwhal
No Llama Drama
"When me and my wife first started dating, I had a dumb canvas painting with a llama and rabbit on it that I found at Walmart. I showed it to her and told her how much I loved it just because it was just such a dumb random thing to find."
"For some reason she took that as I love llamas and that they are my favorite animal. So now, every time she sees one or something with a llama on it I see her brighten up to show me and I get excited with her!"
"Llamas are not my favorite animal. Never have been. I don’t know how she made this connection, but i will never tell her otherwise because seeing her face light up every time is way better."
~ WhereTheChapstickAt
GiphyRelationship by Google
"I spend a couple hours doing research on how to make relationships work and keep her happy in the long run."
"She thinks I'm this awesome perfect guy but I just do what the internet tells me."
~ BadRobot___
Chemical Warfare
"He thinks I don’t fart around him because I’m too shy or polite."
"It’s really because they are so bad they could kill a horse."
~ Neonpantsuit
GiphyAre There Raisins?
"I don't like the potato salad she makes, and she always tries to make it as a treat for me."
"It's my mom's recipe, but doesn't taste like mom's."
~ Bean_Juice_Brew
*yawn* 🥱
"The spot you make me sleep in on the bed is uncomfortable but I lay there because you're comfortable where you are."
~ legacyrisky
GiphyConfessions
"We’re both in college, and last semester we both had a cold at some point. He had it much, much worse than I did, so I went to class and he skipped."
"Afterwards, I went to his dorm to share notes and take a nap. I was almost asleep, and I’m assuming he thought I was, because I felt him squeeze me and whisper, 'I love you so f**king much'.”
"It was the sweetest thing ever and I’m never telling him I know he did that."
~ scorpiomooon
Maybe a Farm Upstate?
"I definitely didn't kill that massive spider, and I have no idea where it went."
~ Cothak88
GiphySo, these weren't too awful, right?
What secrets are you keeping?
People's Wildest 'WTF Is Wrong With You?' Experiences
We all have that moment where someone we know says something so completely absurd, the only response we think of is 'WTF is wrong with you?'
Sometimes, it's something woefully inaccurate that you can't wrap your head around the fact that someone believes that.
Othertimes, it's something completely offensive and you regret your association with that person.
My college roommate was a girl I knew from my high school. I didn't know her too well, but we had some big things in common, so I figured it'd be fun to live with her.
This girl was half-Korean and talked a lot about racist people. At first, I let her rant, figuring maybe she or someone in her family faced some racism. I faced some myself, and I agreed with most of the things she said about racists. Eventually, however, I realized she was equating the word 'racist' with the word 'white.'
I spoke to her once, telling her she can't use 'racist' and 'white' interchangeably. She agreed to stop doing that, but within a few days, she started doing it again. She was a very bright girl, so I was a little concerned about this, especially since her own dad was white and was possibly the nicest man in the world. Not to mention, this made her and her siblings half-white too. Did that mean they were all half-racist?
I stuck by her for a while, but when she started saying things about what she wanted to do to racist people (once again using the word 'white' instead of 'racist'), I realized I couldn't be around her anymore. She couldn't talk about anything else after a while, and every time she spoke, I wanted to say, 'WTF is wrong with you?'
We did not room together the next year.
Redditors have stories similar to mine (and some even crazier), and they are eager to share.
It all started when a Redditorasked:
How To End A Friendship
"In college I used to kill time between classes hanging out with a guy who was from the same redneck county as myself. We didn’t really have much else in common, but he was nice enough and seemed eager to socialize so I figured why not. I wasn’t overly social myself and didn’t know a whole lot of people."
"One day we decided to go somewhere off-campus, and he drove us. While driving, on an interstate mind you, he proceeds to show me his handgun that he kept in his truck - not in a menacing way, but in a “Ain’t that cool?” way."
"I was not immediately frightened, but I respect firearms enough to recognize we are going like 60-70mph on an interstate in daylight, and nothing good can happen in this scenario. I calmly asked him to put it away because I was not comfortable in this situation at all. He then tells me “Oh it’s not loaded” and presses the gun to his head before pulling the trigger."
"Thank f**k he was right, but still it was a wild and frightening display of reckless disregard for his own life and mine for that matter in the event that he’d accidentally killed himself while driving us. I didn’t hang out with him much after that, certainly didn’t get in a car with him."
– omjf23
"“It’s not loaded” famous last words of many an idiot."
– GloInTheDarkUnicorn
The Worst Kind Of People
"When my dad was in the nursing home, they weren't running certain expenses, like ambulance rides, through his insurance. When I took over his financials, he was tens of thousands in medical debt that shouldn't have ever been charged to him in the first place. He was in numerous collections, and his credit score was tanked."
"When I complained to the nursing home director, he said, "Well, it's not like he's going to be buying a house or a car!" Then he laughed."
"My dad was paralyzed from the waist down and needed lifelong care, so he was never going to leave the nursing home. Even though he was technically correct, I gave him the "WTF is wrong with you look." Then I complained to HIS boss and he got canned a couple a weeks later. My dad's insurance was fixed pretty quick, too."
– MNWNM
"“Sorry, what was funny about that? Could you please explain.”"
– v3n0mat3
...Seriously?
"MIL told my wife she should divorce me bc I googled whether a lasagna should be covered with foil while cooking."
– Struggle-Silent
"This is my first laugh of the thread lmao wtf."
– koreantrvp
"It actually ruined this entire trip. It was at my BIL’s wedding, which was only close family (siblings + parents) and they had the caterer make a lasagna for an evening dinner."
"Father of the bride was gonna pop it in the oven and asked if it should be covered. I googled lasagna cooking instructions and said yes it should be covered and cooked at this temp. MIL said absolutely not!"
"Me and the father of the bride kinda gave each other a look and he covered it. MIL was furious and texted my wife that I was an a hole and she should divorce me before we had kids."
– Struggle-Silent
Hostile Work Environment
"Boss at old job told the team we needed to ‘get used to a healthy level of conflict, fear and anxiety in the workplace.’ I dipped so fast after that."
– Prestigious-Energy69
"Similarly, a boss told me that I owed him my loyalty because he was paying me."
– Kylearean
How To End A Relationship
"A girl I was with while we were still together just looked at me while I was driving to her house and said.” You know I would get over you faster than you’d get over me” I was like …… Tf did you just say?"
– omega91301
"Huh. And just like that I'm over you."
– Pineapple_Spenstar
"Honestly, that would absolutely do it for me. When I was younger, I would be stupid and hurt and argue. I'm past 50 and I got no time for that nonsense."
– Terpsichorean_Wombat
There Are Other Ways To Stave Off Boredom
"I was DD for some buddies who wanted to go to a particular dance club in Baltimore. They're all hammered, it's too loud and we've been there for several hours. Casually an older woman next to me chats me up and notices my eyes are nearly crossing from boredom. I explained what I was doing there and casually (stupidly) mentioned I'm a bit bored. This psycho BITES ME on the chest! Afterward says "Well ya ain't bored now, are ya??""
– Mike7676
"Well, were you bored after that?"
– DontWannaSayMyName
"I must say, I was not!"
– Mike7676
That Goes Both Ways!
"I'm a man who works with kids, and when I started this job, I was talking to one of my old coworkers about how every once in a while I'll get weird looks for being a man working with kids and my coworker said I deserved it because some men can't be trusted with kids. I was shocked and she went on to say that I did it to myself and deserve to be questioned about it. I immediately stopped talking to her."
– Dolhedew
"What? What in the actual f**k? Doesn’t she know there are women who can’t be trusted with kids?"
– Anonymoosehead123
That Escalated Quickly
"The lady that accused my kids of cutting the line. (They hadn't, I was watching). When I went to ask her what was wrong, she told me to go back to my own country with that sh*t. (I was born in Massachusetts.)"
"The line was to pet dogs at a Renaissance Fair."
– pasafa
Everything All At Once
"While alone with a coworker, he told me that "women in the work place will lead to the decay of the fabric of society" to me. A woman. He also asked me out, got an attitude when I didn't say yes and continues to walk around with huge incel energy. He always complains that he has no one to go home to yet refuses to look at himself as a possible reason."
– Nopeferatu31
"Sounds like they should learn something from the phrase, "if you meet one a**hole, they're the a**hole. If everyone you meet is an a**hole, you're the a**hole.""
– tmpope123
Ouch!
"I told a coworker my wife had died."
"Her response: "You're one of those bald middle aged guys with a dead wife.""
"Me: "Yeah.""
– WalrusCello
"I want to think this was a wholesome thought that came out wrong. An awkward attempt at dark humor."
– ThisUsernameIsTook
*Cringing*
"Had an otherwise normal co-worker who was completely convinced windmills will cause the earth to stop spinning."
– Shadowmant
"WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!"
– Torvaun
These are all crazy 'WTF is wrong with you' stories, but that last one blew my mind in 'how is it possible people think that could be true' sort of way!