Female genital anatomy is not some mystical unlockable box holding an ancient curse or anything complicated like that.
Still, men often seem to struggle to understand it.
Reddit's here to help.
Reddit user Slow-Bluejay9648 asked:
"Girls, what should men know about the vagina?"
So listen, let's have a quick anatomy lesson, shall we?
All humans start out as "female" - fetuses don't develop "male" anatomy til later in the game and obviously not all of them do. It can be easier to understand anatomy if you understand that men and women are built from the same stuff.
Men are just women, the re-mix.
LowerRo Oops GIF by Rosanna PansinoGiphy
"For the first timers, the hole where you put the peni in is a little lower than you think."
"That was definitely a surprise the first time lol"
"I think we just assume you guys have your stuff where we have ours and vice versa. That's why so many girls ask questions like 'what happens when you ride a bike.' "
"Fun fact, the 'seam' in a guy's scrotum is the result of their vagina closing up when they develop male body characteristics in utero."
"That really puts it into perspective."
"As a kid you’d think the opening and the penis were in the same location. But since your penis is analogous to their clitoris, which is above the opening, you have to go much lower."
"We don’t pee out of it."
"This is too hard to comprehend."
"Women have two holes other than the anus."
"One that is their vagina and then they have another hole higher up that is the urethra. But the urethra is really tiny so it's not really visible at quick glance."
"Female anatomy is glossed over so quickly in early schooling, so lots of people - women included - didn't realize there are three holes for women, not two."
"I’m a full grown woman and I didn’t really understand that the uterus wasn’t just a big vacant sac in my body until I was like almost 30. It’s shameful! Sex education really needs to be revamped."
Moans = Same
"When we moan out in pleasure it does not mean speed up or do it 'harder.' It means keep doing exactly what you're doing."
"I literally have to remind my husband of this ALL THE TIME. Stop speeding up when you’re literally doing PERFECTLY."
"There's no harm in a little correction if they change what's working in the moment... 'no, don't stop, just like that...perfect.' "
"A moan is just a moan. Use your words to get what you want/need."
Acid SpitJames Cameron Aliens GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"Vaginas are quite acidic, to the point were discharge can bleach under garments."
"I buy my vajayjay cute panties and the b*tch thanks me by ruining them. 😠"
"When I was young I was confused because I thought the discoloring on panties was a sign of being dirty."
"Turned out I just have a very high ph."
"A lot of men (and women) think the discolored underwear is a sign of the woman's vagina being 'dirty' when it's not at all."
"Just because your ex liked certain things doesn‘t mean your current partner does. Communication is key and porn not a good teacher."
"It always baffles me that people don't seem to talk that much before/during/after."
"Sex in a relationship gets even better if you know what your partner likes, so be attentive and talk about it. Obviously don't overdo with the questioning, but a bit goes a long way."
"Don't be shy about 'Does this work for you? Can we try x? Do you mind if i wear my fluffy earmuffs while we do it?' "
"It doesn't help that many people just expect you to know what they do/don't like."
"They assume since you've had previous partners you should know how to 'please any man/woman.' Had a couple experiences where the lady would get a bit pissy because I ask a few questions to find out what she's feeling while I'm doing something."
"I would honestly be super disappointed in my partner if they didn't ask questions. I don't care if you've had 0 or 300 partners, don't assume."
"Hell, ask me as much as you want, it shows you care enough to want to really, truly please me"
The Mother Of All Myths
"The hymen has nothing to do with your virginity."
"People really do describe it like a freshness seal."
"Pop it open and you have 3 days to consume the vagina before it spoils, 4 if you refrigerate it."
"Also it’s not common the hymen completely covers the vagina."
"Most of us still have our damn hymen and it just stretches open- it’s very obvious when you know what it looks like!"
"And also that there are so many different types of hymens that we don't get taught about."
"I thought I was a freak of nature because of my weird hymen."
"Turns out it's called a septate hymen."
"That the vagina is the inside of the female genitalia."
"If you’re referring to the outer genitalia like clit or labia, that’s the vulva."
"Over 90% of the clitoris is internal. What most people call the clit is the clitoral glans."
"Ive been scrolling forever looking for someone commenting on this, thank you for pointing it out because I think more people should know this!"
"My genitalia is more than just the hole where things go in."
"But I agree with comments saying that there are no good words in English if you dont want to use 'p*ssy'."
"Imagine if we started to refer to the male genitalia as 'the shaft' or something like that. There are other fun things to also play with down there ;) "
" 'Vulva' is just the exterior stuff, 'genitals' takes you all the way to the ovaries. Is there no in between word?"
"The vagina reverts to its original snugness."
"It shrinks after babies. Your penis is meaningless to it."
"This! Women push babies out and go back to normal afterwards, sometimes the vagina even gets tighter after birth."
Your Potential Pool
"Dudes, if you openly use terms like 'meat curtains' or make fun of different types of labia, I can guarantee you that you have minimized your potential hookup pool."
"A) it can make a woman (who may have otherwise been interested) insecure."
"B) Women can’t help what their labia looks like."
"C) it’s a turn off to hear people talking bad about others’ bodies- just like it’s sh*tty for women to make fun of penis size."
"Making fun of body parts isn’t cool or sexy."
"Ramming a penis that's dry on the sides into the vagina because its "kinda" wet does not feel good."
"If they're moving uncomfortably while you're trying to stick it in thats probably why. Either spread the wet to cover entire vag area outside or make the sides of your dick wet."
"Edit: for clarity. Friction doesn't equal pleasure. No one wants to feel rug burn on their delicates."
Proof This Thread Works
"Okay so man here."
"I came across this thread yesterday and didn’t think much of it except it made sense. But not in an eye-opening way."
"A couple of ‘sessions’ ago, my wife asked me to slow down and I realized how much longer I could last just by that little bit of criticism. But there was still that instinctual rush to finish."
"Anyway, so last night, things got hot and heavy and I remembered this thread and made an effort to actually slow down and just keep doing what I was doing when she reacted well."
"Wow. Oh my god."
"I’m not going to go into details, but um…this was a big improvement."
"So from a man who has only ever been with his wife, thank you for this."
Before You Get Into It
"1) Don't learn sex from porn."
"We can tell what men have learned sex from porn. Vs. Having a long term girlfriend where men get comfortable asking questions and taking feedback."
"Most things in porn are done to look good, not because they feel good."
"2) Sex is extremely intimate, be comfortable with the person you're banging before banging them."
"Talk, ask them about their relationship with sex, approach to sex, what they are into etc...before you get into them."
"I haven’t seen this one here yet: when a woman is aroused the vulva swells up like a plum because blood is flowing thru."
"It may also slightly change color depending on her skin tone."
"Honestly…you don’t have to know anything."
"Just be open to communicating & hearing what your partner has to say about what pleases her."
"That’s it. Boom."
"You can't hold the blood in when your period hits."
"I seriously hate it when guys say: 'oh just hold it.' "
"I WISH I COULD DO THAT WITH MINE!! IF ONLY!!"
"The school system will say that guys shouldn't know that since its not their business. 😬 It should be!"
"Cause then if they know about it he'd be a 10x better boyfriend, father, friend, and human for that."
"It seems to be very underrated of guys knowing female bodies and how they work and what is and isn't healthy."
"As a kid, I always thought vaginas must be really tasty, like sweet n all because I'd seen men just feast on it in porn."
"Boy was I disappointed when I learnt it's just... skin. Same old salty skin."
"Discharge is normal and unlike body hair (which we can control, but sometimes choose not to, which is totally okay) we literally can’t control when it comes or doesn’t."
"So don’t call it gross because that’s equivalent to shaming somebody for living."
"Not everyone who has a vagina necessarily has a G-spot."
"Try not to get so offended when someone can't finish from fingering/penetration alone. Some people find that hard because their bodies simply aren't built that way."
"Be tactful with your comments on appearance."
"I dated a blithering idiot who went down on me and literally said 'wow that's the biggest one I've even seen!' not in a sexy way like a woman would say about a man's dick."
"It instantly annoyed me. I still don't know if he was talking about my clit or my labia which are - at most - both slightly bigger than average."
"It was 5 years ago and I still think about that moment when I realised in a millisecond that I didn't want to be involved with that man."
"Have a filter don't just blurt out dumb shit that comes to your mind. It just makes you look and sound very inexperienced and unsexy."
What major vaginal misunderstandings have you witnessed in your life?
Sound off in the comments!
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Have you ever found yourself in a conversation, when someone brings up a topic they aren't too familiar with, but you are?
This gives you the opportunity to sweep in and share your knowledge on the subject.
While one would imagine that your relative expertise on the subject might result in thanks and appreciation, more often than not, the reaction from your friends is "why do you know that?"
Awkward as it may feel at the moment, there are very few people who don't carry some unusual areas of expertise and trivia on subjects most others are most likely unfamiliar with.
Redditor quadruple_b was curious to learn the random facts others have shared which wound up bringing their conversations to a halt, leading them to ask:
What is a really weird fact, that makes people say "why do you know that?"
Octopuses... they're just like us
"Octopuses are usually very antisocial but when they’re under the influence of ecstasy they are more willing to spend time around each other or even hug other octopuses."- Stab_That_Ukulele
The body compensates
"When you are starving, and have little body fat left, your body can grow almost fur-like hair to insulate itself in absence of fat."- A_Stupid_Fish29
"Your body’s normal functions can slow down to accommodate organ disease."
"For example, I have 40% lung function, but my O2 is completely normal at 98% saturation."
"They didn’t discover any lung disease until I had a ct scan done for other reasons and my lungs happened to show up in that."- nocturnal_numbness
What this would do for humanity!
"Cheetahs are so genetically similar that supposedly you can draw blood from one and inject it straight into another one without any health issues in the receiving animal."
"I.E. no blood type or clotting factor variations."- 0ttrbig cats cat GIF by BBC EarthGiphy
So strange, that it makes perfect sense?
"Coca-Cola can help with blood stains."- Buzzed_Woody
Good thing they don't need a toilet...
"Guinea pigs average pooping around 100 times a day."- morgandanso
"In Phoenix, Arizona, you are legally allowed to bury a dead body on your property without asking for permission/getting a permit/etc."
"The city asks that you contact them beforehand so they can send someone out to stake for gas/electric lines, but it’s not required."- hedalexa12digging sarah chalke GIFGiphy
"If provided with a mirror, dolphins will admire their own genitals."- Cymiril
The brain is a delicate creature
"There is a chemical called MPTP that specifically destroys dopaminergic neurons in the brain."
"About 3 days after someone ingests it, they get Parkinson's disease."- SheilaBoof
Gruesome with good intentions?
"In the 1960s or 70s, the Swiss Air Force dropped severed chicken heads all over the forests of Switzerland."
"The chicken heads contained the rabies vaccine, and the airdrop was to vaccinate wild foxes against rabies."- EnormousPurpleGardenfennec fox GIFGiphy
One never knows when learning this newfound information might become useful.
Especially for parents of children eager to buy a Guinea Pig...
As relationships get serious, it's understandable that one will want to know as much as possible about their significant others.
That is, until we make a discovery about them which might forever change how we view our relationship.
Sometimes, it might be a discovery that might just take some getting used to, even if we'd have been better off not knowing.
Other times, however, this newfound information makes remaining in this relationship untenable.
Redditor Mr_MightyMouse was curious to hear what people wished they'd never learned about their past and present relationships, leading them to ask:
"What is the one thing you found out about your S/O you wish you never did?"
He was anything but faithful
"He cheated on me."
"When I had cancer."- stolliolli
Her one true love... wasn't me
"She drunkenly admitted to her friends that her ex-boyfriend was the one and she’ll never get over him."
"Still not sure how to handle that information."- FreeFoot_
Complicit without knowing it.
"She was an opiate addict."
"I was funding her addiction unknowingly."
"I was helping her destroy herself and I was too stupid to realize that."- Local64bithero
Moving way too fast
"Not that it was that traumatic as we were only dating a few weeks, but she started real deal crying when I wouldn't put her on my life insurance."- Toasted_Bagels_R_Gud
Someone needs to sharpen their aim...
"I hang up a towel to dry my hands in the bathroom."
"Sometimes I would find it on the floor and think hmmm the towel fell off the rack."
"TEN YEARS GO BY."
"One day my husband casually says 'you are always so quick to do laundry, like if I accidentally pee on the floor and clean it up with the towel it is gone so quick'."
"I'm like what.... what?"
"So yea, I've been drying my hands with pee towels for 10 years."
"FML."- kperkins1982·max greenfield towel GIFGiphy
A club no one wants to belong to
"I was dating my ex for two years and she drunkenly confessed that she had cheated on every bf she had ever had."
"We broke up not long after."
"Then found out she was also cheating on me with multiple people from the office."
"I’m now happily married!"
"She also hid her then current bf from me when we first hooked up, he was asleep in another bedroom and we was in a different bed."
"She told him I missed the train home and needed a place to get my head down."- JancingSalmon
A stronger connection than they knew.
"He once dated a girl that he was getting fairly serious about until he showed up to a family event and she was there."- rowenaravenclaw0
What was he up to?
"He had a notebook of every detail of my life, including menstrual cycle, and also kept all the details of my friends and family members."
"Even ones I had never mentioned."
"And we were only together for two months."- totalfranmove
The news no one wants to hear
"That she had Cancer, which ultimately took her."
"That is literally the only thing I found out about my late wife that I ever regretted."- d20gamerguy
A happy anniversary indeed.
"This is NSFW."
"She gave me her phone to look for an address and make a restaurant reservation for our 7 year anniversary."
"I don't know why she gave me her phone, but I guess it was just destiny."
"Someone sent her a video on Whatsapp, and the next message says 'tomorrow again?'"
"From the same person."
"Now I am not one of those people who checks my partner's phone, I don't like that."
"But I was curious and clicked on it. It was a full 2 minute video of her hooking up with someone"
"Needless to say there was no anniversary dinner."- kmiaw
Even though everyone here says they wish they'd never learned these things, one has to imagine some of these people are, deep down, grateful.
As they may have been saved from trouble or pain down the line.
Even if it doesn't make these discoveries any easier.
It's ok to be naughty.
But sometimes... you wanna watch yourself.
Naughty can lead to trouble.
And we're talking adult naughty.
Maybe it's time we discussed it all.
Rule #1... Better safe than sorry.
Redditor Black_Hole_Baken-00wanted hear from all the people willing to share sexy secrets that might leave plenty of people blushing. They asked:
"What’s your most shameful NSFW moment?"
Elevators. Stairwells. Planes. You name it. I've shamed it. No Deets...
don't worry I wasn't naked...
"I was watching adult videos in the middle of the night. After I did my deed I felt a slight pain in my balls, like someone flicked their finger on them. The pain increased to the point that I had to walk it out. After some minutes I began screaming from the pain when my parents came to my room (don't worry I wasn't naked) seeing me in pain on the floor."
"At that moment I thought I did something wrong but was to ashamed to tell them.My dad rushed me to the emergency room where I was rushed in and my pants were removed. Laying there they gave me a nose spray which halted some of the pain. The doctor then started fondling my family jewels while the nurse stood next to me reminding me to breath because the nose spray stopped the automatic breathing if that makes sense."
"All the time my dad is standing there looking and the only thing I could thing at that moment was oh no do they think my unit is small. After that the doctors brought me to another room while my dad was in another room. While going trough the halls I told the doctor I probably know the cause and explained that I was pleasuring myself"
"I don't remember the doctors response but I felt truly ashamed like I was the only person doing such a thing. Later the doctor told me I had testicular Torsion which is caused by the balls not being attached to the sack so I'm living in fear of it happening again to this day."
"WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??"
"In the 90's/early 2000's we bought a pub and moved into it. It had a big screen downstairs and we lived above, but Sky Sports was so expensive for the business account we basically hooked the giant screen to our box upstairs so whenever the sport was on it would show on the screen downstairs."
"So we couldn't watch TV upstairs except what was being shown on the big screen when this was happening. Anyway one Sunday evening around 10pm after the sport (bearing in mind the sport finished at 6pm) I was freely browsing through channels because the giant screen has been wound up into the ceiling and my 14 year old self came across some softcore adult videos"
"Curious, I started watching it. Suddenly there was a big buzz from the phone that connected to downstairs, I answer it. It's my mum with laughing in the background. "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??" I was like "errr.. I was just flicking through channels.." "Well you've stayed on that one for a while haven't you?"
"I forgot about the small TV in the bar area. It was still on and was showing the entire pub what my horny self was watching. I was mortified. Luckily my mum never brought it up again and neither did any of the customers thankfully."
I Gotta Go
"When i was 12 my younger sister walked in on me playing fondle the dongle. I told her I couldn't pee and was trying to force/pump it out. She told my mom out of worry. Said I needed a doctor to help me pee. When Mom confronted me about what my sister was saying i then had to explain it to her."
"My mom walked in on me. The look on her face went from incomprehension to shock to utter disgust over the span of a second or two. She stayed calm and explained how it wasn't appropriate, but I just remember how unsmiling and tense she was, totally unlike I'd ever seen her. Decades ago but still cringe so much recalling it."
Oh. My. God. Y'all are animals. And I'm LIIIIVVVING for it!
“underwear”surprise disrobing GIFGiphy
"My dad caught me editing the game files of The Sims to replace the female underwear textures with 'underwear' that just makes them look nude. Looked up reference material and edited them in photoshop. That a lot of effort to put into something so depraved."
"When i was about 10, my parents were out so I looked up some adult videos on the family computer (mistake number 1), then I kept hearing noises and thought someone was in the house so i ran to my room and called my dad, leaving to computer on (mistake number 2)."
"My dad rushed home and went around the house looking for an intruder, no one was there, it was just my next door neighbors (we have a semi-detached house) then obviously saw what i was looking at on the computer and asked me about it… i told him the intruder must of broken in and searched it up :( "
"In middle school, my friend got her boobs and she wanted me to touch them. We probably spent 30 minutes everyday before school until the librarian caught us and we were suspended."
I wonder if she knew...
"My HS gf and I were having sex in the sideways laying down cuddling position. Mom walked in to show me a new Christmas decoration. To her it looked like we were just cuddling but she sat on the bed inches away from me and proceeded to talk about the decoration for like 10 minutes. I wonder if she knew. They never cared much about that stuff so I think she was just oblivious."
"I was violently ill. In my fiancé’s house where we were living. While he was at work, his dad was working from home. I needed my mom to take me to the hospital. I screamed for my father in laws help, who entered the bathroom to my nude body, puking at t in his bathtub. He called my mom for me, and we never spoke about it."
Well I need a cold shower and more vodka.
Don't have sex with people attached to someone already.
There is no good excuse.
There is no reason that makes it worth it.
Most of the time the "reasons" are lies.
RedditorVirtual_Welder_4525wanted to hear from those willing to spill a little tea about some bedmates. They asked:
"People who knowingly have slept with someone who was in a relationship, why did you do it?"
Why do we do it? I still don't know what I was thinking.
Hot. Not.Feeling Dumb Jim Carrey GIFGiphy
"I was young and it made me feel hot/desired . It was dumb."
"She told me that she was in an open relationship but turned out that she was lying."
"Yeah, I had the same thing happen. Girl told me she was in an open relationship, I slept with her, then she told her boyfriend about it. So the next day I get a call from her boyfriend, threatening to kick my @ss."
"Story does have a happy ending though. I had text history of our conversation leading up to the hookup, as well as her texting me about how good it was after I had left. I sent him screenshots, showing proof of her saying she was in an open relationship. He dumped her and apologized for believing her."
Come to your senses...
"I was freshly 18 working a restaurant gig and the attractive shift manger took an interest. Hooked up at work a few times on overnight shifts. One day his gf came in to eat and I realized they weren’t as on and off as he said. Wish I could stay I stopped there, but it happened once or twice more before both of us came to our senses. I think he was 27? Ended up getting my number and sending me inappropriate texts for the next three months after I quit that job. I still feel slimy."
"I was 23 when it started and it went on for years and I felt like literal scum afterward every single time, but the sex was good, and I hated myself, so I figured it was the best I could do and I deserved to feel like crap. I justified it because I wasn't the only one he was cheating on his wife with, he had two or three other girls in rotation. I was just dumb and selfish and self sabotaging."
GrossBasketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1Giphy
"'You were gone! He was here!'", Shadynasty."
Humans will just do it anywhere. Just like pigs.
"I was young and a virgin. She was gorgeous and sweet. She spun me a story about how bad her relationship was and I was hooked."
"I was 20/21 and had finally gotten out of an abusive household and was barely financially stable and not at all mentally stable. He was A LOT older than I was (his son was older than I was by a couple of years) but he did generally treat me pretty well."
"It went on for 4+ years. We were far from an ideal couple, even had he not been married, but overall it was a positive thing in my life at a time when I really needed it, and it became a safety net. It ended years ago and I feel deeply ashamed of it and my actions."
"But I've grown enough to know that I'm not that same person anymore and I'd never repeat it. I did learn that a poly relationship definitely suits me better than a monogamous relationship - but it can and should be done ethically and morally."
Her wife found out...
"I was in love but also young and selfish and could easily ignore that she was married/she was AGGRESSIVE in pursuing me for years (flying across states to see me, tracking me down at restaurants I would frequent, telling me she loved me and her marriage was in shambles, texting me from new numbers every time I told her to leave me alone). We started the stereotypical long-distance emotional affair that went into sexting/sexy pics. Her wife found out."
"I was young and drunk, with low self esteem and a crippling need for validation. She came onto me and I found it hard to say no. I justified it to myself as I knew their relationship was on the rocks anyway. I figured, well it's basically over. They just aren't formally broken up. They did split up a few months later. I'm not excusing it, I knew it was wrong."
"Didn't know any better. Horny stupid teens do stupid horny things. Wouldn't happen nowadays."
Oh the things we do for a hot roll in the hay. Be better people.