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You make up one day. Your back aches. You step outside: You can't recognize any of the slang the kids are using. You can't figure out how to work this brand new piece of technology. Let's face it: You're old, man.

And if you think that's the end of it, you'd be wrong, thanks to Redditor Doober_McFly, who asked the online community: "What was your "Man, I'm old" moment?"


"My favorite album..."

My favorite album I bought in 1982 is 37 years ago. I feel old knowing that playing it for kids today would be like an adult in 1982 playing me an album from 1945.

extra_less

"I have my first student..."

I teach elementary school.

I have my first student that is a son of a former student of mine.

I also work with a teacher that married a former student of mine. (Both are in their 30's)

eastcoastme

"Old retired flight instructor here."

Old retired flight instructor here: There is at least one airline pilot flying today, who was taught to fly by an airline pilot -- who I taught to fly. I actually have grand-students in the sky.

Sigh...

pullin2

"The other day..."

Giphy

There's an "Oldies" radio station here in Southern California called "K-Earth 101". When I was a kid (in the '80s) they played music from the 1950s.

The other day I was in someone's car who was listening to this station, and the station was playing a song by U2.

BradC

"We always ask..."

We always ask patients their name and date of birth.

One day I'm called in to do a labor epidural and she gives her date of birth and it's the year I graduated high school.

Sucker punch.

200mgSTFU

"I was playing basketball..."

I was playing basketball in a neighborhood I just moved into. The age range on the court was probably 14-30 (me being the 30). There was a super cocky kid that was legit really good. His team took a big lead. Then I hit like 3 long distance shots in a row. After the 3rd, he took the ball down the court, went up for a layup, and I swatted his shit out of the court. A girl on the sideline said, "Man, somebody's dad came out here to show yawl how to play ball!" I was crushed.

boyvsfood2

"I was watering the lawn..."

I was watering the lawn last night after re-seeding it. I was thinking how nice it would be to yell "Get off my lawn" once its back to its lush thick green self again.

watchguy98

"When a kid..."

When a kid asked me about 9/11 and I realized it's just history to them, the same way the Vietnam War is to me.

Marise20

"Having to explain..."

Having to explain what a CD Walkman was.

Well, first I had to explain what a CD was.

The reaction?

"Wait, you could only take 11 songs with you to school? Why couldn't you just download more?"

Dannypeck96

"I stopped shaving..."

I stopped shaving for a few days with the intent of growing a beard and I noticed pretty quickly that half of my facial hair is now grey.

-Words-Words-Words-

Image by salmerf from Pixabay

Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.

Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.

U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?

​Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.

Call outs are a universal language.

In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

Humphr1es

We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."

Tatsukishi

Be your own Easter Bunny.​

Looney Tunes Cartoon GIF Giphy

You could hide your own Easter eggs.

Bdiz78

The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.

Gas-Blaster

That’s cold.​

“At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note

This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."

Catty_wampus

​I lol’d.

I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".

Soalindie

Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".

Srakrn

It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?​

When the bears are smarter than the tourists.​

GIF by Smokey Bear Giphy

Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

BerenTheBold

As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.

Lahmmom

​That’s a gross mental image.

In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".

GSavvage

In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.

Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".

Foxpawdot

It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.

Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:

Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"

Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."

Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"

Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."

Malibulobo

These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.​

Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.

eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy

On a Canadian jobsite

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

StrykerSeven

Oof, that’s harsh.

He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

Perstn

I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”

KatieSedai

Those are some gross socks.

Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

Angrypunishment

"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.

Rubywolf27

In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.

A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm

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