
Aging is DOPE, y'all.
I know we were all sold this idea that youth was where it's at, but trust me—we were lied to.
There is something so freeing about aging, and I'm not about to let anyone lie to the young'uns about that anymore.
The best part, BY FAR, is the way that all your f*cks just seem to just evaporate into the breeze like seawater, leaving behind only salt.
So much salt.
It's awesome.
Reddit user Gourmet-Guy asked:
"What gets less important the older you get?"
Listen folks, there are so many things you get to no longer care about when you get older that it's honestly kind of exciting.
I'm sincerely looking forward to bring one of those fearless old ladies who beats up criminals with their ridiculously giant purse, or has deadly chancla aim even though she's been blind and deaf for 5 years. You'd better believe she turns into some sort of mystic seer when you put a flip flop in her hand, though.
She gives so few f*cks about anything that her mind is clear and she can be one with the universe. Just guided by the spirit of chancletazos...
That's where I'm trying to be, but I'm not there yet. I know because I still sort of care about one or two things on this list.
Do You Like Me?
"Being liked."
"I find that the older I get, the less random acquaintances like me; but the more my friends and loved ones DO like me."
"I stopped trying to be likable and just decided to be me instead."
- brokenhippie91
"Same, also the less friends I need. Just a few good mates that are trustworthy is enough."
- Specialist_Prompt_54
"THIS! And it's crazy how fast a change like this can take place as well."
"I'm a senior in college now. Less than four years ago I was running around trying to befriend as many people as possible just to see what would stick, now I'm pretty happy with my little group."
"A possible downside of this is that meeting new people seems kind of tiring in certain situations, but that's really on a case-by-case basis."
- hammalamamba
Late Nights
"I used to like staying up late. Now I get excited to go to sleep."
- BjornBeetleBorg
"All of our childhood punishments have become our life goals."
"Going to bed early."
"Not leaving my house. (I pay the mortgage, I'm damn well going to get my money's worth.)"
"Not going to 'that' party."
- throwawayspank1017
"The absolute joy I get going to sleep by 9 so that I can get up at 4am, work out for 1.5 hours and still have so much extra time before I go to work is unparalleled by anything I did when I was young."
- Reality_Gatekeeper
"It's also enjoyable to be up fully rested, properly breakfasted and with chores, exercise or some form of entertainment already behind you while the rest of society groans and fumbles for their alarms."
"There's also a special appeal to the hours when everyone else is still in bed. It's almost like the world is yours for that brief period of time."
- Good_Dog_Almighty
What's Cooler Than Being Cool?
"Being cool."
"One of the most liberating things about getting older is you can just do your own thing without caring if it's trendy or not."
- DeathSpiral321
"Just started skateboarding again and I'm going full dork mode with a helmet, wrist pads, knee pads, and I plan on getting elbow pads and even hip pads when I start trying to learn to skate on bowls and mini ramps."
- evil_con_carne
"This. I started college quite a bit later than most and was worried that I'd never finish my degree. So I went all in and decided I still wanted a 'normal' college experience, living in the dorms at 25."
"It was so easy to pick out the kids who still clearly cared not only about being cool, but being POPULAR, bless their little hearts..."
"They were all so exhausted."
- Famous-Honey-9331
Age
"The age of your friends."
"When you're 20, hanging out with a 30-year old is a bit weird. When you're 30, hanging out with 40-year olds is normal."
- DomDeLaweeze
"I have a friend who's the same age as my father. I routinely forget she's not my age cause she's such a cool person."
"Not to say my dad isn't cool. My dad rocks and he's the coolest person I know. But there's always that mentality of wow he's so much older than me because he's my parent."
- TheRedMaiden
"Cuz when we're younger, even a few years makes a huge difference in our thinking."
"Like when you're younger than 20, maybe 15? Even a 5 year old difference, that is, hanging out with a 10 year old is weird."
- Working_Ad168
It's Not All Treasure
"Physical possessions."
"When you're a child, everything you own is a treasure. When you're an adult, it starts turning into junk."
- Sharrakor
"As you get older, only certain things are treasures. And that's only because you get certain joys out of them."
- Anjunagasm
"Exactly this."
"I see physical possessions as something I have to make space for, deal with, and maintain. Honestly it's not worth the energy to have more stuff if I don't need it and absolutely love it."
"Less really is more. Less makes lazy me happier."
- fivesforeveryone
"I am so excited about my stuff! It's not junk because I put thought into all of it and it's all mine. It's also part of getting older."
"I am so jazzed that I bought a new washer and dryer set! I could get whichever one *I* wanted."
"My set needed replaced so I splurged and got a Wi-Fi enabled LG matching set. So happy about it, too!"
- PC509
Going Out? No Thanks.
"Needing to go out to do stuff. Fireplace, movie, spouse, good movie, comfy couch = happiness."
- angeltati
"I hate going places. God forbid I have to ever stand in a line."
"My wife and I, when we do decide to go somewhere, go on weekdays when it's not as busy. I feel like such a grumpy old man lol."
"I can't wait to be home most of the time that I'm out and about."
- PD216ohio
"This 100%."
"Sit outside at night with a cup of hot chocolate watching the sky. Stay inside and play games or do a puzzle. Reading."
- Electrical-Pie-8192
As People
"What kinds of cars people drive, what kinds of homes/apts/condos they live in, what brands of clothes they wear, what kinds of new electronic technologies they have . . ."
". . . instead, I care a lot more about how they are as people. "
"Are they kind? Are they honest? Are they interested in the world and making some kind of contribution to it? Are they interesting and true to themselves?"
- RandomInternetLady
It Works Fine
"Keeping up with new tech and apps."
"I'm at a point where what I already have works fine for what I use it for and I don't care enough to upgrade or learn how the newest thing works."
- PeterBernsteinSucks
"My phone is going on 40 months old (longest I've ever had one last, wish I could get another Note 9 when it dies lol)."
"When I get a new one, it will be top of the line, but only because I don't have the patience for slow stuttering cheap technology. And usually the more you spend, the longer it lasts."
"Beyond that... For status? For bragging rights? For that old itch I used to have for always having the best? None of that drives me anymore."
"Function > form."
- legacyweaver
Looks
"Looks."
"I'm not being cheesy here: when I was a teenager, you really had to look a certain way for any guy to go out with you. They wouldn't dare to admit that they liked a chubby girl or one without a typical sense of fashion."
"When you get older of course looks still matter, but people are a lot more forgiving! There's a whole wide world out there full of people with different tastes."
"I was so surprised with how easy it was for me to get dates in my twenties."
- DameDrunkenTheTall
Just A Job
"Work."
"First company I worked there 14 years. Outworked my colleagues, stayed late, worked weekends. Missed family events to 'get ahead.' "
"Never got me a dime more in my paycheck, I never was thought of as a better employee by management than my colleagues who left as soon as they could get out the door."
"Had enough. Found another job, swore I would never work that hard for a company that could care less about me again. Lied to self."
"Second company I worked there 17 years. Outworked my colleagues, stayed late, worked weekends. Missed family events to 'get ahead.' "
"Never got me a dime more in my paycheck, I never was thought of as a better employee by management than my colleagues who left as soon as they could get out the door."
"People I worked with, went to war with, spoke to every single day for years- I never heard from them again after I left."
"Both of these companies replaced me the day I left and never looked back. It was like I was never there."
"The only thing that is important is your family."
"A job is just a job."
- Beths_Titties
Have you found yourself no longer caring about the stuff on this list?
Or are you still hung up on a few things? What sorts of things have you stopped caring about?
Sound off, folks!
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- People Break Down The Things They're Waiting To Do Until They're Older - George Takei ›
- People Describe The Clear Signs That They're Getting Older - George Takei ›
Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People
There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
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