Aging is DOPE, y'all.
I know we were all sold this idea that youth was where it's at, but trust me—we were lied to.
There is something so freeing about aging, and I'm not about to let anyone lie to the young'uns about that anymore.
The best part, BY FAR, is the way that all your f*cks just seem to just evaporate into the breeze like seawater, leaving behind only salt.
So much salt.
It's awesome.
Reddit user Gourmet-Guy asked:
"What gets less important the older you get?"
Listen folks, there are so many things you get to no longer care about when you get older that it's honestly kind of exciting.
I'm sincerely looking forward to bring one of those fearless old ladies who beats up criminals with their ridiculously giant purse, or has deadly chancla aim even though she's been blind and deaf for 5 years. You'd better believe she turns into some sort of mystic seer when you put a flip flop in her hand, though.
She gives so few f*cks about anything that her mind is clear and she can be one with the universe. Just guided by the spirit of chancletazos...
That's where I'm trying to be, but I'm not there yet. I know because I still sort of care about one or two things on this list.
Do You Like Me?
"Being liked."
"I find that the older I get, the less random acquaintances like me; but the more my friends and loved ones DO like me."
"I stopped trying to be likable and just decided to be me instead."
- brokenhippie91
"Same, also the less friends I need. Just a few good mates that are trustworthy is enough."
- Specialist_Prompt_54
"THIS! And it's crazy how fast a change like this can take place as well."
"I'm a senior in college now. Less than four years ago I was running around trying to befriend as many people as possible just to see what would stick, now I'm pretty happy with my little group."
"A possible downside of this is that meeting new people seems kind of tiring in certain situations, but that's really on a case-by-case basis."
- hammalamamba
GiphyLate Nights
"I used to like staying up late. Now I get excited to go to sleep."
- BjornBeetleBorg
"All of our childhood punishments have become our life goals."
"Going to bed early."
"Not leaving my house. (I pay the mortgage, I'm damn well going to get my money's worth.)"
"Not going to 'that' party."
- throwawayspank1017
"The absolute joy I get going to sleep by 9 so that I can get up at 4am, work out for 1.5 hours and still have so much extra time before I go to work is unparalleled by anything I did when I was young."
- Reality_Gatekeeper
"It's also enjoyable to be up fully rested, properly breakfasted and with chores, exercise or some form of entertainment already behind you while the rest of society groans and fumbles for their alarms."
"There's also a special appeal to the hours when everyone else is still in bed. It's almost like the world is yours for that brief period of time."
- Good_Dog_Almighty
GiphyWhat's Cooler Than Being Cool?
"Being cool."
"One of the most liberating things about getting older is you can just do your own thing without caring if it's trendy or not."
- DeathSpiral321
"Just started skateboarding again and I'm going full dork mode with a helmet, wrist pads, knee pads, and I plan on getting elbow pads and even hip pads when I start trying to learn to skate on bowls and mini ramps."
- evil_con_carne
"This. I started college quite a bit later than most and was worried that I'd never finish my degree. So I went all in and decided I still wanted a 'normal' college experience, living in the dorms at 25."
"It was so easy to pick out the kids who still clearly cared not only about being cool, but being POPULAR, bless their little hearts..."
"They were all so exhausted."
- Famous-Honey-9331
GiphyAge
"The age of your friends."
"When you're 20, hanging out with a 30-year old is a bit weird. When you're 30, hanging out with 40-year olds is normal."
- DomDeLaweeze
"I have a friend who's the same age as my father. I routinely forget she's not my age cause she's such a cool person."
"Not to say my dad isn't cool. My dad rocks and he's the coolest person I know. But there's always that mentality of wow he's so much older than me because he's my parent."
- TheRedMaiden
"Cuz when we're younger, even a few years makes a huge difference in our thinking."
"Like when you're younger than 20, maybe 15? Even a 5 year old difference, that is, hanging out with a 10 year old is weird."
- Working_Ad168
It's Not All Treasure
"Physical possessions."
"When you're a child, everything you own is a treasure. When you're an adult, it starts turning into junk."
- Sharrakor
"As you get older, only certain things are treasures. And that's only because you get certain joys out of them."
- Anjunagasm
"Exactly this."
"I see physical possessions as something I have to make space for, deal with, and maintain. Honestly it's not worth the energy to have more stuff if I don't need it and absolutely love it."
"Less really is more. Less makes lazy me happier."
- fivesforeveryone
"I am so excited about my stuff! It's not junk because I put thought into all of it and it's all mine. It's also part of getting older."
"I am so jazzed that I bought a new washer and dryer set! I could get whichever one *I* wanted."
"My set needed replaced so I splurged and got a Wi-Fi enabled LG matching set. So happy about it, too!"
- PC509
GiphyGoing Out? No Thanks.
"Needing to go out to do stuff. Fireplace, movie, spouse, good movie, comfy couch = happiness."
- angeltati
"I hate going places. God forbid I have to ever stand in a line."
"My wife and I, when we do decide to go somewhere, go on weekdays when it's not as busy. I feel like such a grumpy old man lol."
"I can't wait to be home most of the time that I'm out and about."
- PD216ohio
"This 100%."
"Sit outside at night with a cup of hot chocolate watching the sky. Stay inside and play games or do a puzzle. Reading."
- Electrical-Pie-8192
GiphyAs People
"What kinds of cars people drive, what kinds of homes/apts/condos they live in, what brands of clothes they wear, what kinds of new electronic technologies they have . . ."
". . . instead, I care a lot more about how they are as people. "
"Are they kind? Are they honest? Are they interested in the world and making some kind of contribution to it? Are they interesting and true to themselves?"
- RandomInternetLady
GiphyIt Works Fine
"Keeping up with new tech and apps."
"I'm at a point where what I already have works fine for what I use it for and I don't care enough to upgrade or learn how the newest thing works."
- PeterBernsteinSucks
"My phone is going on 40 months old (longest I've ever had one last, wish I could get another Note 9 when it dies lol)."
"When I get a new one, it will be top of the line, but only because I don't have the patience for slow stuttering cheap technology. And usually the more you spend, the longer it lasts."
"Beyond that... For status? For bragging rights? For that old itch I used to have for always having the best? None of that drives me anymore."
"Function > form."
- legacyweaver
GiphyLooks
"Looks."
"I'm not being cheesy here: when I was a teenager, you really had to look a certain way for any guy to go out with you. They wouldn't dare to admit that they liked a chubby girl or one without a typical sense of fashion."
"When you get older of course looks still matter, but people are a lot more forgiving! There's a whole wide world out there full of people with different tastes."
"I was so surprised with how easy it was for me to get dates in my twenties."
- DameDrunkenTheTall
GiphyJust A Job
"Work."
"First company I worked there 14 years. Outworked my colleagues, stayed late, worked weekends. Missed family events to 'get ahead.' "
"Never got me a dime more in my paycheck, I never was thought of as a better employee by management than my colleagues who left as soon as they could get out the door."
"Had enough. Found another job, swore I would never work that hard for a company that could care less about me again. Lied to self."
"Second company I worked there 17 years. Outworked my colleagues, stayed late, worked weekends. Missed family events to 'get ahead.' "
"Never got me a dime more in my paycheck, I never was thought of as a better employee by management than my colleagues who left as soon as they could get out the door."
"People I worked with, went to war with, spoke to every single day for years- I never heard from them again after I left."
"Both of these companies replaced me the day I left and never looked back. It was like I was never there."
"The only thing that is important is your family."
"A job is just a job."
- Beths_Titties
GiphyHave you found yourself no longer caring about the stuff on this list?
Or are you still hung up on a few things? What sorts of things have you stopped caring about?
Sound off, folks!
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- People Break Down The Things They're Waiting To Do Until They're Older - George Takei ›
- People Describe The Clear Signs That They're Getting Older - George Takei ›
They asked:
"Native Americans of Reddit, what are your or your tribes ghost stories, legends, or supernatural occurrences?"
Here are some of the interesting legends and superstitions of North America's First Nations and Indigenous tribes.
Uktena
Brice Cooper on Unsplash
"Uktena. It's a legend about a horned snake in Tsalagi [Cherokee] legend. Uktena is said to be very large and round like a tree trunk, with horns on his head."
"The only way to wound him is to shoot at a singular spot on his forehead that emits bright light. It's similar to a diamond. If you defeat Uktena, you become a miracle worker."
"A great warrior. Yet, once you see the light of his forehead, you run toward it instead of trying to escape."
"Even to see Uktena sleeping is death. Not to the hunter, but to his family."
~ Faith-Hope-TacoBell
Dog Tails or Why They Sniff Each Other
gotdaflow on Unsplash
"Lenni Lenape story about why dogs sniff each other's butts."
"When the humans slept, dogs would get together and party, but not before taking their tails off. They'd dance the entire night, put their tails back on and return home."
"But one time a wolf found them and all the dogs had to scramble away to their homes for safety, but a lot of them grabbed the wrong tail."
"They never danced again at night because they were afraid of the wolf, so they were stuck with weird mismatched tails for the rest of their lives."
"This is the reason that dogs sniff each other's butts; to see if the other dog has their tail."
~ ChurroChick
Haida Raven Brings Light to the Earth
Cristina Glebova on Unsplash
"In the beginning there was no light in the world, because an old magician kept it hidden in a box inside his house. Raven, who was always hungry, didn't like the darkness because it was difficult to find food."
"One day he was looking for food near the old magician's house. He heard a voice saying, 'I have a box, and inside this box is another box, and inside this there is another box, and inside the smallest box is all the light in the world'."
"Raven decided to steal the light."
"Raven waited until the old man's daughter went down to the river to collect water. Just as she was dipping her basket into the river, he changed himself into a hemlock needle."
"The needle floated into her basket. When the girl drank some water, she swallowed Raven too."
"Inside the girl's belly Raven took the form of a human baby. He grew and grew, and in time she gave birth to a funny looking child with black eyes and a big nose."
"The old man loved his grandson so much that he gave in to the child's every wish. Raven became spoilt and greedy. He was bored with all his toys, and wanted to play with the box that held the light."
"Finally the grandfather opened the box and tossed the glowing ball of light to Raven."
"As soon as Raven caught the light, he immediately changed into his bird form. Holding the light in his beak, he flew up the chimney hole into the dark world."
"The magician was angry. He wanted to get the light back into his box."
"He flew after Raven."
"The light was heavy in Raven's beak, and he was getting tired. The magician was coming closer."
"Raven broke off some pieces of the light and threw them into the sky. They became the stars."
"The magician was still coming closer, so Raven broke off another piece of the light and threw it into the sky. It became the moon."
"Finally Raven became so tired that he tossed the last and biggest piece of the light into the sky. It became the sun; and that is how daylight came to the world."
~ deviety
Nakani
Oliver Roos on Unsplash
"Dené from northern British Columbia here, my mom used to always tell me stories of the Nehgunni [Nakani], or bushmen/wild-men when I was young."
"They were people who lived in the forest and took away people who wandered too far out, specifically children."
"I always figured these stories were created by my people to serve two purposes, first to teach young children to not wander far off, and second to give explanations to kidnappings or missing people."
~ spanishLION
See-at-coh
green trees near lake under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Jasper Gronewold on Unsplash"See-at-coh (don't know the translation in English) is a Cowlitz legend. Lived at this lake and it was his spot."
"We DO NOT go there or he will kill you. Used to have nightmares about him based on what I was taught as a kid."
"Like how you could stand at the edge of the water and be looking in and he would come out of it and just grab you. No whistling at night and keep windows covered."
"But then the mountain blew up [Mt. Saint Helen] and filled in the lake so don't know if he's still around or not."
~ kalimah1
Nahual of Mexico
Joshua Wilking on Unsplash
"I live in rural Mexico. There are many, many different Indigenous peoples in what's now Mexico."
"The ones who settled here speak Nahuatl—the language of the Aztecs. This legend took place in the early 1900's."
"One of my favourite Nahuatl myths is the Nahual."
"Some people were thought to be able to turn into an animal. Most of them could only turn into one, but the most powerful Nahual could turn into different animals."
"There was a man who owned a hacienda where my town is, and he had a sort of overseer that everyone was afraid of."
"Said overseer could take a message all the way to the next state (think hundreds of miles) and bring back a sealed response in a single day."
"He also seemed to know everything everyone did, all the time. He was rumoured to be a Nahual that could turn into a coyote and an eagle."
"His quarters were heavily warded in his absence, which only added fuel to the rumor. You can only kill a Nahual if you find the human skin he sheds to transform and burn said skin."
~ CTalina78
Yamǫ́rıa & Yamǫǫ̀zha
Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
"Yamǫ́rıa & Yamǫǫ̀zha—the giant twins [of the Dené]."
"There are landmarks all around the territory I live in that is exhibited as 'proof' they were alive."
"In the middle of the Mackenzie river( biggest river in the NorthWest Territories) there is a large stone sticking out of the river which looks like the petrified guts of a beaver, there is a giant branchless, leafless tree sticking out of the top of this stone."
"It is said that Yamǫǫ̀zha had hunted a giant beaver and gutted him there in the river. He used his spear to anchor down the cuts so fish may feed on them. They are still there to this day."
"Yamǫ́rıa's body can be seen laying down, it is essentially a mountain range that looks like a giant human laying on his back, completely with face and feet. This can be seen from the peak of the hill as you enter a town called Ft. Liard, the southwestern most town in the NWT."
Walking Sam of the Pine Ridge Reservation
Boston Public Library on Unsplash
"'Walking Sam' skulks in the shadows of the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota and convinces people to take their own lives, especially young people."
"He's 7 feet tall, very thin and has no mouth. When he stretches out his long arms, nooses hang down with Lakota children hanging from them."
"Walking Sam finds you when you're alone and puts thoughts in your head until you feel worthless and kill yourself.
"Sometimes Walking Sam is depicted looking like Abraham Lincoln, complete with the stovepipe hat. 'Walking Sam', 'Uncle Sam', I don't know if that's where the name came from."
"But Walking Sam is an evil infected upon the people when the Oceti Sakowin were forced onto the reservations; he isn't a legend of the people before Pine Ridge Reservation existed."
"Lincoln was President when the Lakota were being forced onto reservations. Lincoln also ordered the execution of 38 Lakota men the day after Christmas in 1862. It's the largest mass execution in U.S. history."
"I always thought Walking Sam was Lincoln. They carved his face onto Ŝa´kpe Tuŋkaŋŝi (Mount Rushmore was called Six Grandfathers) in the Paha Sa´pa (Black Hills)
"My Father attended Holy Rosary boarding school at Pine Ridge in the 1940s & 1950s, but our people didn't live on the reservation. My Grandmother said evil stalked the people there."
"My Father never wanted us to ever even visit any of our cousins or his Uncles there."
~ LakotaGrl
Este Lopocke or Este Lubutke
Morgane Perraud on Unsplash
"Miccosukee [Seminole] tribal member here (South Florida) and for us it's the little people."
"Essentially really small people (like barbie doll sized and smaller) that live in the trees. They play jokes and stuff mainly, unless you piss them off."
"Had family members get tricks played on them that couldn't be explained."
"And then we have our fair share of stories that circulate our reservation like a tribal member being taken by the little people."
"All on the reservation in the Everglades (like 40 mins west of Miami)."
~ SSBMBabyCakes
Haudenosaunee Rules
Chris Chow on Unsplash
"I know the Haudenosaunee [Iroquois Confederacy] rules."
"1. If you hear someone you know calling your name, but you also know they are not supposed to be there, DON'T respond. Especially if they are out of sight and insisting you come to them."
"2. Always play group games in counter-clockwise order, otherwise your playing with the dead."
"3. Also don't eat in the dark, this is considered inviting the dead to eat with you. If you can extend your hand all the way out and still see it clearly then your fine."
"4. Don't play card games past midnight. If you do, and someone knocks at the door, don't answer it."
"5. Try not to drop your cards, if you do then don't bend down to pick them up, or you will see hooves under the table. That's bad."
"6. Say thank you after meals, even if you're the one that made it. Even better if you say it in native tongue."
"7. If someone finishes their meal and says thank you, you say 'you're welcome', even if you didn't give it to them. Even better in native tongue."
"8. After someone dies, you should gather family as quickly as possible to have feasts for 10 days. The first dinner is large, then every meal after that is a smaller feast meant for portions of the family to come at different times to help.
"The last feast on the 10th day is the closing dinner, which is the largest, with the entire family expected to show up and help. For every meal of these 10 days, put out a plate of the deceased's favorite foods first."
"Contrary to rule 6, you do not say thank you at any time during these 10 days. This is because it is believed that it takes the dead 10 days to relive their lives before they pass on, so this is your last chance to eat with them."
"Saying 'Thank you' during this time will make them stop before they're done because you're saying you're done. This will have bad consequences."
"9. Don't try to contact spirits, especially with board games. This is not a tribe custom, it's more of an unspoken common sense among the Rez people."
"10. If a bird flies into your house, someone's going to die."
"11. Pregnant woman should not hold any child that isn't theirs."
"12. It's accepted that if you actually try to curse someone, literally going through all of the steps with the intention of harm, not accidentally wishing them bad luck, then your family will also be cursed horribly."
"13. If you play with fire you'll wet the bed."
~ kinda-always-hungry
To learn more general information about Indigenous mythology of the United States, visit the Smithsonian's National Museum of the American Indian website.
For Canada, visit the First Nations in Canada website.
For information about specific tribes, visit their tribal government website for recommended resources.
There are rules in life where people are expected to just know how to operate without being told.
For instance, if someone falls down... help them.
When you like a sweater in a store... get money to buy it.
Just leaving with it won't go over well.
And there are more rules, or guidelines to adhere to...
Redditor christygl7 wanted to hear about what is expected in people's homes without words, so they asked:
"What's an unwritten rule in your household?"
If you have to pee... lift the seat cover.
The people in Port Authority always miss that one.
Routine
Cleaning Chores GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Either my wife or I can do any chore when noticed. We thank each other for routine chores as we appreciate each other."
cwsjr2323
"That’s how my fiancée and I handle chores. Whoever’s around when the core needs to be done does the chore, typically. I find she does more regular cleaning of the whole apartment while I do more dishes and cooking."
radtech91
Trashed
"Replacing the trash bag IS PART OF taking out the trash."
UndiagnosedReptard
"Similar to this, in my house, the rule is if the toilet paper ended on your turn (or there’s barely enough for the next person) then it is your job to procure the next roll and put it in the bathroom. It is NOT acceptable to let it run out for the next person."
wavesnfreckles
"We have extra stored in every bathroom. I make sure of it. However, if it runs low/out on the roll, my wife will 100% of the time take the new roll and set it on top of the empty tube on the spindle, refusing to replace it. I actually called her over and shamed her into changing it in front of me the other night (not in an abusive way - we were both laughing about it)."
on_the_nightshift
Finder's Keepers
"If you find money in the laundry while you are doing the laundry, it's yours."
Rich1926
"Yep. My boyfriend learned that lesson the hard way when we first started living together. He had a bad habit of just crumpling up bills in a big wad in his pocket, usually just ones, but sometimes he accidentally leaves a twenty in there. I tipped myself the twenty. It took him a couple of days of trying to figure out where it went before I took pity on him and told him."
"He now both turns out his pockets and washes his own clothes. I still find the occasional single dollar in the dryer."
Head_Razzmatazz7174
Dropped something?
"If food is dropped on the floor it becomes the property of the dog. The dog knew this rule before we did."
Altruistic-Bit-9766
"That was one of the hardest things after our family dog died. Dropped something? Who cares! Riley will get it. But then he didn’t."
"Also, I don’t live at home anymore but coming home to him barking and crying out of excitement and greeting me always made my day and I looked forward to it every time I opened the door and could hear him wiggling in excitement on the side hahaha. It’s a little less exciting coming home now."
ohno807
Obligations...
Water Stay GIF by Kinda FunnyGiphy"If the water you take from the Brita pitcher leaves what’s left below a certain line, you are obligated to refill the pitcher on penalty of death."
halcyon3608
If you stay in my home and don't refill the Brita pitcher...
I'm setting your hair on fire at 3 AM!!!
Flushed
Go Away Pink GIF by HacklockGiphy"Check the toilet after you flush."
NANNYNEGLEY
"This. My brother-in-law never does this. It's annoying and disgusting! You don't want to clean up after yourself because you think it's gross? How do you think it makes me feel to clean up after you?"
purplestarsinthesky
WAKE UP!
"Wake someone up if their alarm goes off. It's a pretty weird one but setting up alarms is a conscious and deliberate decision for all of us and you want to wake up when it goes off, so we just help each other out."
DonMartiniMacaroni
"I'll do this a few times, but my roommate needs to learn not to hit snooze because he's taught his body that alarms don't need to be woken up to. I don't wake him up anymore. He started waking up to them."
stumblinbear
"I’ll wake them up because it annoys me when people snooze especially if I’m next to them in the bed and I don’t have to get up."
chill90ies
No Exceptions!
"Shoes off at the door. No exceptions."
Next-Dark-4975"
"Shoes-on people must not be using the same public bathrooms that I do. 100% of them have a lake of dirty urine in front of the urinal. They must also be amazing at finding two urine-free spots that are shoe-sized on the shores of said lake. It’s fine if they want to bring that into their homes. It’s not allowed in mine, though."
Bmadray
Table Manners
"No tech at the table."
"Even with a teenage daughter this has proved eerily easy; we all love food though!!"
"Also murder is out of the question, it is non-negotiable. If any of us kills another then they are outlawed in the true sense."
"Other than this, we are pretty cool."
Dante2005
Woof
Well Done Applause GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Let the dog out to go potty before you use the restroom. (Seriously, the dog is asking to go out and you think she can wait while you take a 30-minute poop first? Not cool.)"
InfiniteBackspace
Always let the dogs go first.
If you wait, you won't like the surprise they leave!
Sometimes we look at a product and think "who would buy that, and why?"
For me the "Flowbee" home haircutting tool comes to mind. If you're unfamiliar, it's a shaver you attached to your vacuum cleaner so you hair was pulled past cutting blades.
It was sold on late night infomercials in the 1990s.
Who wouldn't want to style their hair like this?
As fabulous as that looks, results did vary with most veering toward "yikes!" yet by 2000 the company reported 2 million were sold.
And *surprise* you can still buy one—for about $150.
It seems no matter how bad a product is, someone will buy it.