Sometimes everyone needs to hush up.
Wouldn't that be nice?
If people could catch onto social queues and actually engage in conversation with another human, maybe then we'd be able to triumph at the basic art of communication.
But humans seem to be failing in this department.
So who among us hasn't been trapped in a nonsensical splattering of words we'd give limbs to escape from?
Redditor Isingsongstomycats wanted to hear about what can completely make us regret speaking to another person, so they asked:
"What instantly ruins a conversation for you?"
I'm ornery. Anything and everything can turn me off.
Blocked
honey boo boo phone GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy"Getting their phone out for no reason mid conversation."
Expensive_Pie_6943
"Sometimes I want to look up something pertinent to the conversation but I don't want to interrupt them to say that. Now when someone checks their notification mid conversation, that really burns me."
cutelyaware
Up & Up
"When someone feels the need to one up you on everything you say."
Apprehensive_Gap_368
"Had a coworker like this once, his one upping was so bad we would test it. Best one was a guy talking about catching a shark on a pole at the beach. He interrupted with the time he swam out a mile and got attacked by a shark and beat it and swam back with it."
Mess_Bubbly
Rude
"When they start saying nasty things about people they barely know."
WeirdShyKitten
"I have family like this. I once heard them go on on this rant about how the new waitress at their local coffee shop is fat and ugly. They made a thousands assumptions about this woman that included criticism to her service."
18062022
"Or start sh*t talking someone the second they leave the room. My dad's sisters do that, I was stuck in my parents house alone with them and I would get so paranoid every time I left the room. If they do that to each other, I can’t image the crap they talk about me."
vicki_chicki
War of Words
"When they ask for your opinion or talking about something fully subjective and then tell you how you are objectively wrong or get offended by you nor agreeing."
Prize_Interaction931
"Similar, but not quite the same: my old roommate would correct me on things that were objective, and not like facts."
"Like I mentioned it was hard for my folks to get a mortgage because they were self employed and he correct me that it wasn't. He wouldn't believe the story i was telling and told me what he thought might have happened with no knowledge on the subject."
"Needless to say I moved out."
SFXBTPD
Blah Blah
Bored Chris Rock GIF by BounceGiphy"When it feels like you're engaging a combination lock just to get responses to simple innocent pieces of a conversation. People who small talk you to death."
I swear small talk people should be arrested for attempted murder.
Useless
Golden Girls Rose GIF by TV LandGiphy"When someone drags a story out with useless details. Like something that happened on the drive to work but they start the story at the point when they first woke up and what they had for breakfast. Just get to the point!"
ticklemebits
Paused
"When they interrupt me mid sentence."
HelpMeSweetJesus
"If it sometimes happens on accident whenever they think of something and get over-excited it’s whatevs. Now when they constantly step over you it’s like your opinion merely feels like filler at best and they ain’t even listening. Not even worth the energy to continue at that point."
BAKED_TATER_
"One of my coworkers only listens long enough to figure out what she's going to say next, and then she interrupts. I guess we're only there to feed her lines."
Witty_Commentator
Do Better
"When someone gives you completely useless advice you didn't ask for. A couple weeks ago I mentioned to a coworker that I was glad to be going home because I didn't get more than a couple hours of sleep."
"Dude first of all had the audacity to say 'Well, you need to do better.' When I said I have medication resistant insomnia he looks at me like I'm an idiot and asks if I've tried melatonin."
errant_night
Duh
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that. And it doesn’t take you very long to spot one of them, does it. Take you about eight seconds. You’ll be listening to some guy, and say, this guy is f**king stupid. Then, then there are some people, they’re not stupid. They’re full of crap."
"Huh, that doesn’t take very long to spot, either, does it. Take you about the same amount of time. You’ll be listening to some guy, saying, well, he’s fairly intelligent. Ah, he’s full of s**t. Then there are some people, they’re not stupid, they’re not full of s**t, they’re freaking nuts."
teaching-man
Gross...
Disgusted Emma Stone GIFGiphy"Sexualization. We're talking about a new video game and suddenly I get asked if I play naked, or if I'm turned on by a game mechanic or some such nonsense. Yuck."
GreenAppleLady
Good conversation is hard to keep these days.
Do you have any conversational red flags to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor RadPs77 asked:
"What's the most bull**** excuse you've heard that turned out to be true?"
If somebody yelled, "fire!" there probably was one.
The Emergency Call
"My dad had to call and say he was going to be late on take your kid to work day, because the guys building a house in the lot next to ours set all the extra supplies on fire at 5am, and he called the fire department because it was a huge fire and the firetrucks were now blocking our driveway. He took a video."
– kingftheeyesores
The Blazing Car
"Couldn't make it to work because someone set his car on fire. Sure enough, it was mentioned in the local paper a day or two later..."
– res30stupid
Accusations of lying are especially hard on those who are grieving.
Proof Was In The Ashes
"Not really sure if this counts but... I worked at a mcdonalds years ago and I called in sick one day because I was having my dog put down, this was my childhood friend I'd had since I was 6. The day after the manager pulls me into the office and gives me a rant about how I need to come up with a better excuse for a sick day. In anger I ended up bringing his ashes into work with me several weeks later with receipts proving dates of attending vets etc."
"Then a good few months after all this, the same manager is moving house and isn't allowed to take her two dogs with her (no pets allowed at the new address) so she let's her friend adopt them who lives on the next street to where she's going to be living then proceeds to take 10 days off 'to say goodbye.' "
"It's been more than a decade but I'm still salty af about this."
– SolaWrex
"Unexcused Absence"
"Had this but when my brother died, took 2 weeks off because of obvious reasons."
"I was on probation at the time and they didn’t believe me, they wanted a death certificate - but where I live those can take some time."
"At the end of my probation I had an exit interview - my dad was able to sit in with me, so he did. He brought my brothers ashes and put them on the table while they tried to say it was an unexcused absence."
– tictactowbar
There are the odd circumstances.
Nature Strikes
"I couldn't go into work for a few days because a tree totalled both vehicles. My boss was pissed because I had requested the day off but was denied. I had to send pictures as proof."
– hotcookin53
The Gamer
"I injured myself badly enough I couldn't go to work for a few days, the night before World of Warcraft was released. Since I'd been talking about it so much, my boss assumed I was lieing to stay home and play it on opening day. Not only was I not lieing, but it meant I was unable to get to the store to pick up my pre-order."
– shontsu
A Birth Anomaly
"One of my guys didn't come into work he said that his unborn triplets had absorbed each other and he had to console his wife that she was gonna have twins not triplets."
– ShItllhappen
Repeat Offender
"I had the same teacher for trig and 2 years later Calc ii. Both times my house got hit by a car right before an exam. The second time she said 'you've already made this excuse" and asked for a police report. I happily obliged and gave her both. Literally could not believe it.'"
– Electronic_Soil5934
Animals are unpredictable.
That is all.
Kitty Bite
"Kid in high school was absent one day because he'd been 'bitten by a cougar.' Yeah, right."
"Turns out, he'd been bitten by a cougar. He thought he wanted a pet cougar, found some place he could buy one, and went over a weekend to pick one out. He was playing with a cute baby cougar, cuddling and wrestling on the ground, just having a great time. Then that cute little baby turned on him, bit down hard on his foot, and sent him to the hospital with numerous deep punctures that needed chunks of Nike shoe pulled out of them. He was on crutches for weeks."
– twothirtysevenam
Kid's Track Record Didn't Help
"Had a kid come into my class one day that was late and he had been a pain in the butt the whole year so I was like 'alright, what is it this time, house burnt down. No no, you went to the forest and got lost, not you used that last time.' He just stood there with a straight face and said, a bear slashed our tires so I had to walk. I looked at him with an as if that happened face and low and behold after school his mum comes up apologising that he was late again and told me that a bear had slashed their car’s tires. She showed me the ring video and everything. I was speechless."
"Edit for those of you complaining that I was mean, this kid was consistently late and rude throughout the whole year and was constantly giving me bs excuses that turned out not to be true. That’s why I was mad and didn’t believe him."
– cryptic_cookies
The next time you hear someone giving a wild excuse, you might want to take it with a grain of salt.
You never know if the person has actually gone through a terrible ordeal.
The truth always comes out eventually, whether it works in the person's favor or not.
"What is a Red Flag that you are in a bad restaurant?"
When They Just Can't Be Bothered...
"The restaurant isn't even busy but they take ages to serve you, and when they finally do they seem reluctant."- peculiar-pirate
coffee pouring GIF by South Park GiphyQuality Over Quantity
"Long menu."
"Pages and pages of food that doesn’t really make sense or go together."- blackaubreyplaza
"Sushi, pizza, AND burritos are ALL on the menu."- financialfreeabroad
Lets Eat Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekLack Of Authenticity
"Ethnic restaurant with no customers of that ethnicity in a town with a large population of that ethnicity."- baronvonbee
Don't Be Fooled By It's Appearance
"I've eaten at ratholes with amazing food and had terrible food at nice steakhouses, both can have people cooking for minimum wage and bad management."
"If it's a small ethnic restaurant and you see kids doing homework at one of the tables; try the food, it's always good."-Dizzy-Particular-258
It's All About The Food
"It’s sometimes difficult to tell until you try the food."
"There’s a restaurant in my town that is consistently crowded."
"Fairly expensive."
"My wife and I went there and waited a few minutes for a table."
"Restaurant was dirty, food tasted stale, and my wife happened to walk by the kitchen and see like 6 microwaves on a table heating stuff up."- jonahvsthewhale
kitchen nightmares amy GIF by Global EntertainmentGiphyOne Unwanted Guest
"The very moment Gordon Ramsay appears and calls the employees f*cking donkeys."- Ch*ist_Hater666
When The Ambiance Is Anything But Romantic
"Bad lighting or sticky tables."- trashbagbum
"Dirty floor, if they can’t keep the floor clean, they aren’t cleaning the important stuff."- lovelynutz
dirty spongebob squarepants GIF"Oh, Sorry We're Out..."
"Whatever is on the menu 60% is not available."- XqueezeMePlease
Whether Or Not It's The Food You're Smelling...
"Smells bad."- Louis-grabbing-pills
Roaches Check In...
"In university I went out with some friends and they decided to go to mid-priced restaurant before we caught a film."
"I was really broke so I feigned not being hungry to excuse the fact that I couldn't order anything."
"As we were hanging out I noticed a cockroach crawl onto the table and quickly scurry out of sight."
"That is one of the few times I was happy to be poor."- gildorratner
"If you smell freshly popped popcorn, but they don't serve popcorn, they have a cockroach infestation."
"The smell is the result of a potent insecticide and dead roaches."- Goatmanthealien
place cockroaches GIFGiphyMany restaurants are not worth their expensive prices.
While others aren't even worth a single second of your time.
Thankfully, those can be fairly easy to spot.
