Fat blocker pills that magically undo all the damage you're doing to yourself with the way you eat do not exist.
There's no essential oil.
There isn't even a foolproof surgery.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news that you already secretly knew, but facts are facts.
Reddit user OutlandishnessNew471 asked:
"What is one thing that doesn't exist you wish actually existed?"
As much as I wish (and oh man I REALLY wish) that I could twerk it out on some tres leches and just pop a pill and it would be like it never happened, we're just not there yet.
We're also not "there yet" with this stuff:
"Another free day after Sunday."
"Took a 20% pay cut to take Mondays off forever. Best decision of my life 1000/10 would never look back."
"For about 6 months, I worked Tuesday-Friday, 10 hour shifts, it was glorious! Every weekend was like a holiday weekend!"
"I don't like to credit covid with anything, but if one good thing came from it, it was normalizing working from home."
"My job went to a hybrid model so now all my Mondays are work from home."
"That extra day tacked onto the weekend where I'm working, but don't have to do allll the sh*t associated with commuting is a really nice little transition into the week."
"I used to watch this show as a kid where one of the character’s uncle had a teleportation watch and I couldn’t wait to grow up and get one."
"Imagine my disappointment when I found out this wasn’t a thing!"
"Unless you watched TV shows on French-Canadian TV, I don’t think you’d ever have come across Robin et Stella, but it was amazing."
"Uncle Darius had a rapidotron for his work but the kids would go on adventures with it! They also had a secret passage between their two houses."
"I was so envious!!"
"Sleeping pills that actually make you sleep normally and restfully."
"Yes! Melatonin makes me dream every awkward moment or fight in my life! Mash up style."
"Yup. I’m asleep. Nope. No rest. Aaannndd I’m sad."
"Something like Propofol in pill form?"
"I was given a Propofol infusion for my colonoscopy and I swear that was the best, most restful sleep I have ever had. And the come down is typically pretty clean, too."
"I can see why Michael Jackson liked it so much."
"For a natural solution that doesn't involve taking something, tire yourself out - as in exhaust yourself by doing a lot of high effort physical activity and do not eat right away."
Love What You Do?
"A job I genuinely love."
"Not like, not tolerate, but love going in to every day and actually look forward to."
"Its the money for me…"
"I love teaching. But I can't make my current salary if I were a teacher. Now.. pay me 200k a year to teach the little buggers how to read and they’ll be reading in binary in a month."
"I think the issue with that would be, if you love it and are passionate about it, you want it to be a hobby, not what you do for a living and spend the majority of your time at."
"I'm a general handyman by trade. I fix and build things all day."
"My wife thinks this means we should be renovating our house every weekend and putting my skills to use making some sort of kickass modern home."
"When I finish my shift, I don't want to see tools again until the start of my next shift."
"There’s a reason why super wealthy people usually don’t work and just have a bunch of fun hobbies. The second you turn your hobby into a job, you start to hate it immediately."
Off To Sick Bay
"A medical body scanner in the style of Star Trek."
"I would love to be able to get scanned any time I have an illness or weird pain, it says 'you are not dying' and then my anxiety gets relieved immediately."
"And then it gets snarky and tells me to eat more fruits and veggies and maybe purposefully exercise more than once a month. I’ll trade my hypochondria for negative reinforcement."
"I constantly dream about this."
"I imagine an archway that you walk through or maybe a small room with 360 degrees of sensors and after a real quick scan, it can tell you everything from harmful microbes to the percentage of cancer cells to damaged bones and tissue or the presence of viruses and diseases."
"I feel like our medical knowledge still needs to improve greatly."
"Do you know how many 'syndromes' and things we have that we actually have zero understanding of what causes them and how to effectively treat them?"
"They're usually things like, 'We don't know what's wrong with you but we've seen it before so we gave it this name and here's some meds that kinda sorta almost help but have terrible side effects and aren't a really effective treatment.' "
"Male birth control pill."
"I took flomax for a kidney stone a couple months ago."
"It has a little side effect I discovered that the doctor didn't warn me about. It can cause you to not ejaculate when you orgasm."
"I looked it up and it has been researched as a male birth control pill."
"Like a dry heaving dick"
"So naming it 'flomax' was them mocking you?"
"They trialed male birth control pills. The men in the trials complained about the side effects too much, so they pulled it."
"The funniest part is that all the symptoms were ones that women regularly deal with while on birth control."
"A food pill that gave you good nutrients and made you feel full."
"I love eating, don't get me wrong, but when you have a job that makes it hard to have nutrient dense food then a pill would cover you till you get to cook dinner. Just because it exists doesn’t mean you need to use it three times a day."
"I watched the Jetsons growing up and their food pills is all I have ever wanted. I hate cooking and cleaning and wasting time eating."
"I wish this was a thing on those days when nothing sounds good and I don't want to cook."
"An undo button on elevators."
"I feel like I should have picked something more profound to answer this question, but an undo button is just so simple that I don't know why it doesn’t already exist."
"It’s really embarrassing if you mess up in a full elevator lol"
"YES!! I hate when I accidentally press the wrong number and can't un-press it."
"Just recently I actually hit the wrong button in an elevator and pressed it again in frustration. It actually unselected the floor!"
"I’ve never seen it in the States but almost every elevator I’ve seen in Singapore has that option."
This One Is A Must
"A sarcasm font."
"I remember reading that someone tried to do that years ago but it never caught on. I believe it was called sarctalics."
"I think there is a sarcasm font, or at least I’ve always written it as:"
"OoOoOh gReAt ThAt’S jUsT fAnTaStIc"
"This one works but its more a mocking tone than sarcastic and is hard to type out."
"Well...you could always just type /s..."
Karl Pilkington Is A Genius?
"There was a short bit by Karl Pilkington about having a machine that lets you swap bodies with your doctor so they could feel what was wrong with you for a more accurate analysis."
"Probably one of the only sane things he’s ever said though."
So now that you know what Reddit is daydreaming about when they wishfully imagine inventions, it's your turn!
What do you wish existed?
Is it some grand device to better humanity? Is it something wildly impossible like consistent sizing in fashion?
We'd love to hear it.
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