
When we think of teenagers one of the first things that comes to mind is the idea that they have a total know-it-all thing going on. I'll be honest, as a teen I was convinced I had things at least mostly figured out. Oh god, so wrong. So very, very wrong.
So now that I'm an adult, there are tons of things I try to explain to the kids and teens in my life, but I know they just sit and stare at me blankly the way I did to my family members who tried to guide me. It's a cycle, I've just come to accept it.
But that doesn't mean teenagers aren't willing to listen to any adults - just typically not the ones close to them. So to help out the teens in your life who just roll their eyes apathetically at you when you talk, we dove into this thread.
Reddit user spaliusreal asked:
So here you go, advice and wisdom from their oh-so-very-elders to help them evolve into adults while (hopefully) skipping a few of the major missteps that we made. Get off our lawn, teenagers. Go make your own mistakes!
Thinking Thriftily
You don't have five dollars until you have ten dollars. If you have a period where you're suddenly rich (like right after getting your first loan) then save as much as possible. Keep a months rent at hand if you can. Honestly, between all the confusing parts of being adult, what has saved my butt more times than anything else is just having a little bit of financial cushioning.
Also buy things on sale. Thrift shops are your friend. Learning to sew is going to save you some day. Always buy a plunger before you need it.
- Sunnijb
Don't Stop Playing
You don't have to stop enjoying things just because you're an adult. Don't stop playing just because people say it's childish. Splash in puddles when the mood takes you. Sit on a swing and just be alive for a little while. Watch cartoons, play DnD with friends, build a fort with your partner in your living room. Being an adult doesn't mean you have to give up things that make you feel joyful or playful and you don't need to prove to anyone that you are an adult by way of letting go of the little things in life that make you smile.
Money Matters
Saving up is better than credit. If you have credit don't go past 30% of your total limit and pay it off in full every month. Bankruptcy is easy but stays with you for years. Keep cash on hand for emergencies. Water is your friend, drink lots.
Also, never lend money and never co-sign for anyone. Oh and never use "rent to buy " stores!! You'll end up paying at least twice what the item is worth.
- Beaaaar
Support System
Get yourself a good support network of people you can actually trust and who will help you out in a time of genuine emergency.
I ended up in A&E (the ER) the other day and was so grateful to have someone I trust who called an ambulance for me, as I was unresponsive.
Also, if I'm not doing too great, I have some friends I can go and talk to. I can literally pull up in their driveway, tell them I'm there and they will let me in and listen to me, no questions asked. I make sure I reciprocate that as well.
Being an adult can be scary and lonely at times and there WILL come a time when you really need someone. Make sure you have at least one person to turn to.
Nothing Is Truly Private
That what you post on social media has consequences. Be smart about it, don't post things you wouldn't want an employer or your mom to see.
Remember kids, NOTHING is truly "private" online.
I'm a recruiter. If I could count the amount of times I have rejected a candidate because of something on their social media...
Honestly it's seldom a picture that turns me off. It's usually a ton of vaguebook posts or something along those lines.
I have a 50yo client who's a very highly qualified, but now unemployed professional.
I had to send him an email that MAYBE commenting "👅👅👅 beautiful tats" on an 18 year old girls Instagram picture just isn't a good idea. The fact I had to send THAT email...
Cooking
Make sure you know how to cook a few decent meals. I recommend getting a slow cooker. Throw ingredients in, walk away for several hours, boom, food magically appears. And, if you live alone, you pretty much have at least one meal a day set for the rest of the week.
Trade It In
It's 100% okay to go into a trade instead of going to college. Honestly, you will probably make more coming out of a trade school in 2 years than most people make after going to a 4 year university.
Who You Know
Your peers care about what you do, no matter what Reddit says to the contrary. The way to get ahead is through loose connections.
"Hey, we got an opening at my firm. I'll put in a good word for you."
If you're an introvert who keeps the nose to the grindstone and doesn't interact, your life will be immeasurably more difficult.
This is very good advice. A lot of folks have the mindset of "Just do good work and the rewards follow" but reality is that there's a lot of people who do good work, and not a lot of people who do good networking. It's the ones who are personable and easy to work alongside with who get promoted and hired, not the ones who just simply turn in their assignments on time.
Criticism
Learn to take criticism. You will need to be able to hear things you don't want to be told, in a manner that you find irksome, from people you don't particularly like, in order to improve.
This is super important. As a teenager it's often very easy to cut out people who day things you don't like. Just stop being friends with them right?
It doesn't swing at work. These people aren't going anywhere and you'll need to find a way to work alongside them.
Further to that, whether you like them or not some of them will have valuable knowledge you NEED. They may not be someone you like. They may not give you the information in a way you like. But that doesn't change the fact their knowledge and experience is valuable and you should use that resource.
Others may point our your errors. They may even point out your errors in ways you find patronizing and mean. No one really cares about your feelings and your errors are likely causing them a headache further down the line.
This job might not mean much to you and you might think they're totally lame for caring so much about work but this IS important to them and most of the time pointing out your mistakes is a genuine effort to help you and prevent formal escalation with management.
Eventually you will be one of these people who cares about work and the 17 year old newbie thinks your lame.
Because if you go through life half assing your job and not caring you're going to spend your life in awful low levels positions.
Make Good Choices
Regardless of what people complain about, it is NOT that hard.
All it takes is making good choices. Making good choices can be a hard pill to swallow sometimes, but its not like its actually difficult. Don't take out that 100K loan for a dumb degree, your first house doesn't need to cost a quarter million dollars, you don't need a brand new car as a "reward" for whatever stupid adulting milestone you think you just passed. Started a big-boy job? Max out that 401K. No, you don't need the money for anything else. Put it in your goddamn 401K.
Your future doesn't stop when you're an adult. Keep making good choices.
It's Up To You
No one is going to make sure you are taking care of your health. It's up to you to eat well, get exercise, take care of your teeth (seriously do it now and spare yourself money and pain in the future), take all your meds if necessary, wear sunscreen, stay hydrated, and so on. What you do now will seriously affect you in the future so get into good habits when you're younger.
Making It Up
When I was younger I always looked up to adults as having it all together. As I've gotten older and am now in my 30's I fully realize that most of us don't have it all together, and at times we're just making it up as we go along.
Tips From A 42 Year Old
Tips from a 42 year old who didn't do many of these things and wish I would have... in no particular order.:
Always have a $1,000 emergency fund and do not dip in for anything but real emergencies (car broke down, etc). Replenish it as soon as you can after you have to make us of some of it.
Always put a percentage of your paycheck into a savings account that is in a different bank than your normal bank. It helps keep it out of sight and less likely to be used.
Stay active. Exercise regularly. Even when you get into a relationship, stay active.
Eat right. Do not eat McDonald's every day because it's cheap.
Learn how to cook. Take a class if you can, but learn how to make more than Mac and cheese, spaghetti, noodles, or BBQ stuff.
Study in school and get a good paying job that you enjoy. You spend 8+ hours a day with your coworkers doing your assigned tasks and potentially helping them with theirs; make sure you like it/them.
Be kind. Be forgiving. Be smart. Be on guard. Be thoughtful. Be loving. Be humble.
Struggle V. Relief
I say this as an 18 year old who moved out on her own about a year ago from a very abusive childhood. Yes, the responsibilities are hard. Yes, there are lots of confusing things that nobody can prepare you for. Yes, cheese is expensive. But there is no struggle that trumps the feeling of relief you feel when you come home to a living environment that isn't seeping with toxicity from an abusive situation. I struggle to make ends meet, and it's a thousand times better than living with my parents.
Fight The Rut
Don't let yourself get stuck in a rut. I felt really depressed as my days became work, home, gym, repeat. Eventually, my sister and her boyfriend at the time introduced me to swing dancing. It got me out socializing and learning a new skill that I loved, and I met my fiancee after a few years of going.
- leisy123
Uber Over Ambulance
Take an Uber to the hospital if you aren't absolutely near death. Ambulance rides are really pricey. They often have to charge you just to come check you out. So if you can, avoid calling on them.
Until You Make A Mistake
There are more responsibilities, chores and more consequences for things that you do, but it doesn't feel any different until you make a mistake. At first it can be great but if you spend all your money without saving any you can get stuck paying your bills, calling in sick for work like you would for school one too many times can cost your job and make it harder obtaining another job. Though if you manage everything correctly it really is awesome.
Confidence Is Key
Believe in yourself. Don't get the mindset of telling yourself "Oh, well I doubt that could happen" or, "I don't think i could do that"
A lot of what stops you from doing things is you. Persevere push forward happy, enjoy life. Enjoy the little moments, because in the end they're the biggest moments you'll remember. Don't be hesitant to live, and love, and don't forget to treat yourself sometimes. Being mature, and financially secure is extremely important, but so is your mental health. What is the point of life if you have money, but, you're depressed, hate your job and become sour?
Never A Moment
That there's never a moment where it all makes sense and you know what to do. There's no manual, no classes, no one to give you instruction...You're just winging it. So, if you think for one second your parents have any clue what they're doing, you're so very wrong.
And, financially, if you can't afford to buy something twice -- especially big things -- then you can't afford it.
Forever
If school is a nightmare for you, it's not going to last forever. If school is an amazing place for you, it's not going to last forever.
Cooking Is Cost Effective
If you haven't yet, learn how to cook. You dont have to memorize how to do xyz recipe, or be able to make Gordon Ramsay jealous, but knowing a little bit of the basics can help you build up to the more complex stuff.
It will also give you the ability to feed yourself a meal a day for a week on like $10, depending on what you bought from where. Like a spaghetti with red sauce and ground meat was my go-to when there wasn't anything good on sale. Store brands can get you far.
I like to use veggie noodles for nutrition reasons, and ground turkey (that i season with salt, pepper and garlic powder) for cost reasons.
- CLTalbot
Teach Yourself
You know how teenagers complain about how school doesn't prepare them for real life? It doesn't teach you how to adult in that it doesn't teach you how to do taxes, balance a budget, etc?
Adulthood isn't knowing these things.
Adulthood is finding out how to find them out, and teaching yourself.
Forget Closure
Not every action needs a reaction. Especially the people who hurt you. Forget 'em and never talk to them again. Don't try to get closure because you'll never get what you want out of it. None of us are owed closure and, for the most part, it doesn't exist in the real world.
You're Wrong
You're wrong about a bunch of stuff. But when you realize it, it's going to be super frustrating when you try to tell the next batch of idiot teenagers and they ignore you.
- bortmode
Good Luck
Be prepared for a very, very low moment in your life. This will test how strong you are and you (I promise) will feel how much stronger you are becoming after going through it. Giving up will always be in your head, its human nature, we want to avoid resistance and take easier path, but you will overcome.
People will fail you many times over.
Love hurts.
Loyalty means very little to businesses.
The more you think about the reality of this planet and how society works the more you feel out of place.
The lonelier you are, the more you judge yourself - and you can be your hardest critic. Having people around you to remind you that you are doing ok is important.
Make sure you don't go days without getting a hug, or laughing, or exercising, or having sex... the soul needs this.
Overall be present. Don't think too far ahead and don't live in the past. Good luck, you'll need it.
Ignore Them
You don't need to be in a relationship to be validated.
Most people are like, "You're how old and you're single!?!?" Ignore them..
Take any time in between to focus on growing yourself, for you, and anyone who may come along.
Quality Of Life
When you move out on your own you won't have the quality of life you're used to from living with your parents. It took them 20+ years of hard work to get to the point they're at. You'll get there eventually, but in the meantime you're probably going to live in some crappy places with cheap furniture, appliances, etc.
You might not be able to afford to heat and cool your house to the ideal temperature year round. You won't be able to eat as well as they do on a daily basis. Your washing machine might not get your clothes quite as clean as your used to and the dryer might leave things damp no matter what you do.
I'm going to through that now, though I'm somewhere closer to the end. When you first move out you need to get so much at once (couch, table, chairs, desk, bed, cutlery, linens, dishes, pots, pans, small appliances, the list goes on and on) that no one could afford to buy nice versions of it all so you end up with cheap versions of everything.
Over time you start replacing things. That first couch gets thrown away, the Walmart pans become something brand name, the cheapest toaster you could find becomes one that has settings other than "still bread" and "charcoal". It takes time, but as long as you work at it you'll slowly improve your quality of life. As you're making that transition don't shop exclusively at Ikea or any other retailer. You don't want to end up with a place that looks like a show room floor.
The first thing you should buy when you move out is a plunger that's designed for toilets.
Friends Forever
Being friends with someone "for forever" isn't a good reason to remain friends if you have absolutely nothing in common. Save yourself the headache and remember that most people in your life will come and go. Stop chaining down people just because you're incapable of letting go when it's time to do so.
Quality
Surround yourself with quality people versus quantity.
Learn to be independent and do things alone. It can actually be pretty enjoyable.
Your metabolism dies when you hit 30.
Just because your friends are in relationships, getting married, having babies doesn't mean you need to at the same time.
SPF and moisturizer. Seriously. Pale is better than skin cancer or looking like a saddle at 30
MLMs are bad. You will not get rich, you will alienate everyone and you will be a laughing stock.
- camoang
Comedy is in a very tricky place right now.
There is so much to NOT laugh about in this world.
In truth, many of us have forgotten how to laugh.
And certain jokes that are told, make people afraid to laugh.
So what do we do?
We tell inappropriate jokes apparently.
Let's hear some...
Redditor CrewCreation wanted to hear some "risky" comedy. So they asked:
"What’s the best morbid joke you know?"
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Life can change in an instant.
It can always change for the better.
Just ask any lottery winner.
Sadly, life can also take a turn for the worst and leave people shattered beyond repair.
Watching someone's life fall apart in a short amount of time is difficult.
You have to wonder if there really is such a thing as karma, bad luck, or Voodoo.
Redditor OkImagination5852 wanted to hear about the times we've been witness to personal disaster. They asked:
"People who witness a person's life crumble in a single day, what happened?"
I have lived through a lot of bad days. But thankfully they've been one disaster at a time days. So I guess I'm lucky.
Horror
"A friend of a friend had his entire family killed overnight. He was from my college and was home visiting his family. His parents, siblings, and extended family were all there together. One night, while they were all asleep, his father got up, took out a gun, and went on a shooting spree. He then killed himself."
"Everyone except this guy died on the spot. When my friend visited him at the hospital, the guy was still in shock. He had no idea why his father did that. This was more than a decade ago, and I have no idea how he's doing now."
DeadOnDeparture98
The IRS Called
"Knew a guy who had a nice house, wife, 3 kids. Machine shop in his garage, Snap On tool truck, sign out front, great mechanic. Never incorporated, didn't pay taxes on his business, cash only. Took nice vacations, bought a boat, then a camper. Five years later, the IRS came. I don't know what they estimated he owed but they seized everything. He lives alone in a trailer now."
Nobody_Wins_13
2 at Once
"My mom’s dad and dad’s mom both died on the same day. Completely unrelated. We were pretty messed up for awhile. It was 2010. Mom's dad had emphysema (lifetime smoker) and was pretty sick for a few weeks. I was in college at the time and came home to be with him, because we knew he was about to pass. Dad's mom was in the nursing home, as she had had a stroke and also had dementia (she often thought I was my dad, she thought we were in the 70s, etc.)."
"She took a turn for the worst, and so my dad left the hospice my grandpa was at and went to be with her. The towns they were in were about an hour apart, so I stayed behind with my mom to comfort her when her dad passed. A few hours go by, and he passes peacefully (huge thanks to the hospice workers for their respect and grace during this time)."
"Within an hour or so of his passing, we get a call from my dad saying that his mother had passed as well. It was a terribly dark day in our family, and the next couple years for me in college were pretty much a blur. Thankfully, things got better in time and we are all doing well now."
She lost everything...
"Her husband left her after previously persuading her to remortgage their house to save his business and he's already made her take multiple credit cards out in her name. She lost everything. He did it the week after their youngest turned 18 so he wouldn't have to pay child support. He'd obviously been planning for years."
Ieatclowns
a black sheep...
"My cousin was in a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend died. She broke her back. When she was in the hospital she learned she was pregnant. It's been 16 years and we're still trying our best, she took an all too familiar path of drugs, burning bridges and more pregnancies."
"At this point she's fairly stable and clean as far as I know but a bit of a black sheep. Her mother has custody of all one of her kids. She has her youngest and seems to be doing good by her, but who knows. It's been hard on everyone, especially her mother and her brother."
Paradigm6790
Well this is the stuff of nightmares. I'm grateful for every moment I have alive.
Several lawsuits are filed...
"Here is multiple lives ruined in an instant. A friend was over at some other people house, drugs were involved. They had been playing with a gun. My friend points the gun at a girl, pulls the trigger and shoots her in the head. Girl dies, friend gets locked up until he turns 18. Parents at the house get arrested because they knew what the kids were doing. Friends mom goes into a depression and ends up getting evicted from her house. Several lawsuits are filed."
sentondan
Gone Forever
"It was me... got in a car accident and suffered a traumatic spinal and brain injury that I had no chance of surviving... a 7 vertebrae spinal fusion, yrs of physical and mental therapy... 18 yrs later and the pieces, though many forever gone, are finally coming back together."
2boneskuLL
A Bad Night
"He trashed his fathers vacation house with an axe before setting it on fire, stabbed the neighbor nearly to death, stole their car and then crashed it into a cop car so bad the cops were injured. He also got his girl pregnant, so once he is out of prison they're gonna start a family."
Dumbing_It_Down
"dangerous"
"Pregnant friend found out husband (43) was having an affair with young woman (19) who was a volunteer at their ecolodge. Friend had 'dangerous' pregnancy and had to spend a lot of time in bed. This betrayal destroyed their marriage, split the little town where they lived and caused two employees to quit because witnessing the affair going on was just too painful."
"She had a beautiful baby girl (to go with her other two girls, lol) and after the breakup was clinically depressed. Worked hard and got a divorce (she had a great lawyer); got the business back on track; beat her depression and now is planning a great vacation trip with her girls."
"Meantime, Dad has generous visitation but just 'hasn't gotten around to' buying a car seat so he can pick up the baby and for a long time asked my friend, 'Can you drop the girls off at my Mom's?'"
NoBSforGma
Lost it All...
"Recently, I know of a guy that had borrowed all his family’s life savings for the most part to participate in the whole game stop stock thing happening… he lost every penny of his money (credit card advances), and his parents retirement, and every other dime he could get… it makes me sick to even think of it."
Bangbangsmashsmash
Well those are A LOT of bad days. Good luck to all of you.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Those who are wealthy have the luxury of acquiring the best of the best–whether it's dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant or status-identifying clothing from Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent.
But even the rich have their limits when it comes to frivolous spending before casting judgment on friends or colleagues.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Sasquatchfl asked:
"Rich people of Reddit, what's the craziest/most unethical thing you've seen people in your circle spend money on?"
Expensive experiences were a priority over prized possessions.
Live Sushi
"An ex worked for Dell in the late 90s/early 2000s. He was pretty high up and there were lots of partiers in his work circle. Went to a party hosted by one of the dellionaires and there was a body sushi girl. I don’t know what was paid to her, but it was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen."
– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor
Pissing Contest
"Paid a group of homeless guys to only use the bathroom on a competitors business. Eventually bought that place for a massive discount."
– Haboobalub
Let's Work Out
"My mother woke up one morning and said she felt she was way too fat and she wanted to get a treadmill. The treadmill wouldn’t be a problem, but then she saw where it would be and didn’t like the lighting. Fast forward 2 months later there’s a 40k outdoor gym built and connected to the house. She hasn’t used it once."
– Herrera5449_
Taking A Leap
"Travelled with a bunch of ex 'friends' all fairly wealthy."
"First trip to SE Asia together and as an ex-local I was a de-facto tour guide (despite not being there in over a decade)"
"They somehow found and offered a bunch of kids diving off cliffs to jump for spare change."
"They increasingly challenged each other to land their coins as close to the cliff base and small surrounding rocks for the kids to dive for."
– Satakans
It's about the finer things in life.
Expensive Party Gag
"A 3k ouija board from Gwen Paltrow's store. I didn't even know it was a thing until the dude brought it out. I really wanted to cut it up and see what it was made from. Looked nice don't get me wrong but the thing is basically a party gag. For 3 grand, it better summon a demon that's all I'm saying."
– con_this
Slow Burn
"$600 USD for a candle."
– Jeffranks
It's not always about the things you acquire.
Minor Inconvenience
"I know a guy who went to get a new drivers license and had to pay ~$100k in back parking tickets, then joked about it after."
"Apparently he couldn't get a permit to park in front of his house, so he just did anyway, and accepted like a $200 fine everyday."
– melodyze
For A Successful Election
"Not me, but I know a guy who crowd funded (read: threw a bunch of money into, then solicited more at a flea market) $80,000 toward his friend's DA election campaign. The guy won. So far, this has paid back at least $120K in avoided legal fees. I know some rich people. Most of them are more boring than you think. Hell, most of them drive Hondas, Toyotas, and Nissans."
– KP_Wrath
The Lance Corporal
"I was stationed with a Lance Corporal who was wealthy beyond means after selling some of his patents. He owned and piloted four helicopters. Lived in a palatial waterfront house in Jacksonville, NC."
"The cheapest one cost 400K. That's the one he trained on. The most expensive was about 1.2 million. That's 1.2 million 1981 dollars. The two he's got now are about 5 million each."
"Had a floating landing pad out back moored to his dock and another landing pad in the back yard. Kept two helicopters and a Rolls inside his custom-built hangar at Norfolk International Airport."
"He drove a pair of Rolls-Royces. He also toyed with a 900K Miami-Vice type speedboat. He also housed and transported his squad to Camp Lejeune and back in a custom mini-bus."
– ApplicationConnect55
The dude was very giving and lived a very clean life. He'd fly us to Norfolk, pickup the car and we'd do our shopping and eating. Hop in a chopper and return home. He'd fly his fire team down to Miami on weekends. He kept a Limo there and wore a chauffer's outfit and did all the driving.
He bought a full-service and licensed pub in Northern Ireland. He lives there with his wife. Does a lot of charity work there. We still keep in touch."
– ApplicationConnect55
When there's plenty of money going around, there's no need to worry about a single thing.
That peace of mind is a luxury in itself.
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When marriages or relationships fall apart, infidelity is not always the cause.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"

You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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