Come on, old folks. It's time to do the thing where we give teenagers advice that they will probably forget until it's too late.
It's not because they're trying to be flippant and forgetful. It's just a brain thing, ya know?
One Reddit user asked:
What are some things that a teenager should avoid?
and undeveloped brains were actually one of the reasons that came up when talking about why some of this should be avoided. Like one person said, we're not all "squares" we've just been there and dealt with the consequences.
That was possibly the squarest thing I've ever typed, and I fully stand by it.
Life Already Started
Addiction, debt and pregnancy are the big ones. But avoid waiting for life to begin. It already has. Go in some positive direction even if you're not sure it's the exact right one.
One easy way to start this is to do one thing that's new, or makes you feel uncomfortable each day.
Even if that's walking into a store and saying "hi'' to the cashier before they say it to you. Or go out in a shirt that you wouldn't normally do.
Or post something anonymously on Reddit about how YOU are starting to write a cyberpunk book, even if it's only for you and no one else will ever read it.
One small step each day. Never skip the day, always take that one tiny, almost immeasurable step. Because in a month, you'll be able to look back and see that you've actually made a ton of progress.
The Dentist
ryan reynolds dentist GIFGiphyAvoid skipping the dentist. Even if money is tight professional cleanings and preventive maintenance will pay dividends later in life.
A horror story to prove the point: I caught a bad bad spell of depression some years ago and stopped taking care of myself in many ways, including flossing and going to the dentist.
I ended up having to have surgery to hollow up and fill out a completely rotten tooth, costing insane amounts of money. I was in so much pain. To make matters worse, there was a SURPRISE NERVE in one of the roots of my teeth meaning they nearly drilled while the area wasn't completely anesthetized.
I've brushed my teeth religiously since, but sometimes we still find surprise holes from that time where I couldn't take care of myself for a few months. TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH!
30F here and I've got two fake teeth on a partial denture from neglecting my teeth and not going to the dentist in my late teens early 20s. Biggest regret in my life 100%
Don't Wait To Figure It Out
Procrastination. Not as big as the other ones but my God, procrastination can get so bad and affect you so horribly if you let it get out of hand.
Yes. Teenagers need to hack themselves and figure out their own personal formula for productivity. Pays off bigtime.
Yes. Nip this one in the bud now. It is so much harder to develop a work ethic as an adult.
Approval Online
Social media and seeking others approval. That sh*t will destroy them for years.
Cyber bullying can leave a huge emotional impact on teens that give them mental health issues or body image issues. I know people that have taken into their thirties to recover from these kinds of things.
This terrifies me about my two kids. I was bullied as a kid in elementary and then high school. I had the ability to go home and forget about all of them and escape by playing video games.
F*ck me, kids these days don't get an escape.
YES. I'm 28. I've had to get off of all social media aside from Reddit because of this.
My life took a drastic turn a couple of years ago. I've struggled since but have managed to find a small apartment for myself and my daughter. My boyfriend moved in right before covid hit and it's cramped.
Watching friends my age or younger close on their homes, go on vacations, lose weight, get married, etc. has done a number on my mental health. I compare myself constantly and it's driven me to completely hate myself.
Shutting out a lot of social media has helped a little because I'm not constantly shoving these things into my psyche, but there's a lot of things I have to undo mentally in order to be comfortable with myself.
I remind my 17 year old sister all the time that it's awful. Coincidentally, she is actually doing a paper on it right now and has "interviewed" me in order to have a real life source.
Thank goodness she isn't that big on it. It really is like mental poison.
No Drugs ... Yet
Drugs. absolutely Drugs. Teenage brains aren't developed enough to handle that kind of dopamine
I'm pro-weed, pro-psychedelics, pro-legalize everything; and yet I still want the recreational age for all of that to be 21.
Brains need to fully developed before you start soaking em in fun juice.
As someone who did harder drugs as a teen this one would be at the top for me.
It permanently f*cked me up, body, mind and all. It's been 8 year since I quit and I've actually continued to decline even more since I stopped.
We're not being squares. A lot of us have been there and done that already. I wish I'd listened.
Hearing Loss Sucks
Deaf GIF by memecandyGiphyReally loud music, I mean the kind at a concert front row loud. Tinnitus really sucks.
And not only tinnitus. I damaged my ability to hear certain frequencies when I was a teenager by going to loud punk gigs. It makes it really hard to hear people speaking over background noise. Doesn't sound too major, but it makes socializing in a pub or club or public place that bit more challenging. I guess I lost the frequency range that distinguishes speech from general noise.
When you're a young adult, you do a lot of your socializing in such environments, so don't add an extra challenge to your social life.
Don't Fall For The Fakes
Fake friends. It's honestly better to have no friends than people who gossip about you and make snide remarks to you. I know everyone says this but you will find your people.
I agree with you... but to a teenager, no friends is infinitely worse than bad friends. Sitting alone in the cafeteria or in the hall?
Transferring from one group to another is hard.... but that's the key.
As someone who put up with being the butt of my "friend"-group's jokes for years... I can say that cutting out the toxic people in my life has helped me out tremendously.
Keeping a small group of high quality friends, is so much less stressful.
Work and hobbies will help you find like minded people in my experience.
- WindJDM
You're Probably Pretty Average
Avoid self destructive attitudes is a good one.
Probably 95% of people alive are decently attractive. You can lose that extra 15 pounds, you can shave those unwanted hairs.
If you look in the mirror and think you are below average.. you are probably closer to average.. which is fine! Average people are perfectly good looking enough.
If you look in the mirror and think you are absolutely hideous.. maybe you are slightly below average.. but truly ugly people are rare and more often then not they have 13 out of 10 charisma and it makes up for it.
You're Fine.
Time Gives You Time To Discover
My mom found her dream job in her thirties and my current stepdad in her fifties.
Don't be too concerned with whether the things you're doing now is gonna be forever. Do what you can to open doors for yourself, but don't feel forced to think you need to know who or what you should spend the rest of your life with at this point.
Time gives you time to discover more things. Discover more things, and eventually you'll find your way - even if you didn't realize it. Stop thinking in today and forever. You got all the time to figure it out. Just get yourself a solid foundation and explore.
Except for drugs. Don't explore things that you could get addicted to for the rest of your life.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.