They say there's nothing quite like a mother's unconditional love.
But sometimes that love is, in fact, very conditional.
When you've got a mom like that, there are things it's easier to just not tell them. Even if you've got an amazing mother, there are things you're probably not lining up to confess.
One Reddit user asked:
What's one thing your mom doesn't know about you?
It's a little surreal to realize you now know this personal detail about someone that their own mother does not, but that's exactly the situation we're all in after reading these confessions.
Master Forger
My handwriting was so bad when I was in middle school that she would help me write it she saw me struggling so I 'practiced' writing her name near her so she would sign her signature on a piece of paper and I traced it on a detention slip LOL
I too had awful handwriting! Then I also became a delinquent and needed to be able to forge mom's signature. So I practiced every day until I had it perfect.
Now, my mom has amazing script level handwriting and I got my forged signature near identical to hers. To this day I have incredible handwriting that stems directly from hours spent practicing forwarding her name.
Grandma's Funeral
season 5 ghost GIF by PowerGiphyI missed my grandmothers funeral because I was locked up facing ten years for armed robbery.
Eventually family had to hire two lawyers for me. Any other black kid that didn't have a well off family would be f*cked. My parents are architects and I never lived up to them.
Locked up a few years then had five years house arrest. That's why I have so much Reddit karma.
Let's talk real karma though... because you better believe in it. I was an a**hole the year before, and look what happened.
When I walked in the bullpen it was all us black men. The animosity in the air was palpable. I could feel them sizing me up.
I eventually got back in after sitting with a review board. I was able to graduate. But having a degree in sociology isn't lucrative.
I worked call centers until my most recent as a supervisor at a non-profit.
We moved all the homeless into hotels. My office was a hotel room and my coworkers just watch TV all day.
Some days are dangerous, though. I've had guns pulled on me, drug dealers moving in. It's bad.
And I just got fired after a year. Anyways pray I get my job back or find something soon. I'm tempted to go back to my old self.
Letting Someone Else Own The Fart
I farted at her and my dad's vow renewal.
It was one of those farts where the entire room took notice and started gagging. Someone else got blamed for it and I never corrected anyone and admitted that it was actually me.
Up Until A Year Ago
That I nearly lost my job in March, but Covid actually spun me into keeping my job and the benefit of working from home indefinitely.
That I had my heart broken once again. That I feel very lonely. That my depression was the worst it has ever been in July and that I have finally found a medication that is helping.
That there is a Marilyn Manson song now that my dad and I both are convinced that even she would like. That I miss her more than I ever thought possible. That I'm sorry for being upset with her last year on November 20th and I've been having nightmares for weeks now where she hates me so much she won't even speak to me.
Saturday will make it a full year since I lost my mom and my best friend in this entire world. There are so many things I want to share with her and so many things I want her advice on. My mom knew everything about me up until a year ago..
Squad
the wire car GIF by Scorpion DaggerGiphyI once went drinking with some gang members I had just met.
During the summer, the city holds free jazz concerts in a park and my roommate's sister asked me to go because safety. We listened in a distant part of the park, so we could drink without getting hassled.
There was a group of 3 or 4 shady looking guys a bit down the path from us, and she decided to go over to bum a cigarette off of them. We shared some of our vodka with them and after talking for them for a few minutes, we learned that they were Gangster Disciples.
We pretty much spent the rest of the night partying with them. We went to one of their apartments to get more mixer and smoke, then later we went out to a bar.
That's about all to tell, they were actually very friendly guys, to be honest.
I Tell Her Everything ... But This
My mom doesn't know that I'm bisexual and I have known for 8 years.
I've never felt comfortable coming out to anyone in my family due to being raised super conservative Christian. I've only told 5 people.
It sucks not being able to talk to her about this especially since I tell her everything, she's my best friend.
A Failed Weekend Threesome
My mom doesn't know that the trip I took to San Diego wasn't with "my friend and her family."
I was 22 and old enough to know better, but I met a couple online and spent the weekend with them.
I drove 1.5 hours to LA to meet the guy, then we took an Uber to the bus station that was 20 mins away. We took a bus all the way up to Oakland where his girlfriend picked us up.
Weekend was decent I guess (he cheated in the past. They were soooo not ready to add another person. Awkward). Then at the last minute, he decided he wanted to stay longer.
So rather than having him with me for safety as planned, I got on the 8 hour bus ride home by MYSELF. I didn't get back to LA until 1am.
Then had to call an Uber and waited 20 minutes, was dropped off at his house to get my car, only to speed home to make it home by 2:15am so I could sleep for a few hours before going to work at 6am.
Except I didn't get any sleep cause my mom was upset that I got home so late from my trip with "my friend."
2/10, would not recommend.
- HMB43
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"What made you realize that something you always did wasn't normal?"
Undiagnosed Medical Condition
"'You know that high pitch sound everyone always hears? Wait... you don't?'"
"Apparently, I have tinnitus."- FarAmphibian4236
Hard To Imagine It Never Occurred To Them...
"When I was very young I thought it was normal to have blood on the toilet paper after pooping."
"Turns out it was hemorrhoids, apparently I have always had them."
"Yay!"- SuperevenDuper
And, Exhale...
"My mom is a yawn-yeller."
"When she yawns, you can hear it from anywhere in the house."
"One time my sister had a friend over, and we were in the basement'."
"My mom yawned upstairs, and my sister's friend asked 'was that a coyote?'"- ViolaWPeyton
sam winchester yawn GIFGiphySweet Or Disturbing?
"When I first started dating my now husband, ever time we kissed he made a 'muah' kiss sound with his voice."
"Like he literally said 'muah' every time we kissed."
"I asked him why and he said he thought everyone did that because his mom did it growing up."- thti87
Unusual, But Pretty Cool...
"As a kid I would read a street sign as we drove past and I would then make as many possible words out of the letters in that sign."
"Stop, top, tops, sop, pot, pots, to, so, post, etc."
"I told my sister one day that I couldn't come up with any more words to make with some sign and she made fun of me the rest of the way home."
'I quit after that. I'm still a pretty mean Boggle player though."- Limited_turkey
Whatever Helps You Sleep...
"Pre Bedtime cereal, I had a sleepover when I was a kid and was confused when we skipped bedtime cereal."- Mre64
Old Man Reaction GIF by LaffGiphyThere Are Worse Offenses
"I thought eating cereal without milk was normal until I went to summer camp and everyone stared at me like I killed the camp counselor."- spoilerdudegetrekt
It's Only Polite
"For me it was something I never did. In my twenties, I realized you're meant to make eye-contact when talking to people (I was feral)."- wys15wyg
Who Hasn't At Least Once...
"I got stopped by a cop once because I was talking to myself."
'I literally thought everyone just mumbled out their thoughts out loud."- azuresegugio
Talk Talking To Yourself GIF by The ChallengeGiphyUnlikely Source of Inspiration
'I'm an artist."
"I got asked one time why I draw hands looking 'like that' with all the fingers bent backwards.'
So I held up my hand in the same position as the one I just drew and it looked the same.'
"And that's how I found out I had EDS."- koinadian
The Bradys Can Certainly Relate
'Grew up in a house where seven people all shared one bathroom."
"Thought it was normal to get in the shower without waiting for the water to warm up."
"Everyone go fast before the water gets cold."
"Always wanted to try and be one of the first in line for the shower."- littleflower0929
Gesundheit!
"I was diagnosed with Arnold Chiari Malformation, which I like to say means my brain is too big."
"My wife says I have a misshapen skull...whatever...the bottom line is that my brain stem is excessively squeezed where it exits the skull through the hole on the bottom."
"I have a very minor case, but it causes randomly occurring neurologic issues."
"Upon learning of this diagnosis, my wife was reading up on the symptoms...many of which I knew were abnormalities."
"I was worried I had ALS because that is neurological."
"After reading a bit, she says, 'Do you have problems sneezing?'"
"I say, 'No, I sneeze all the time'."
"I mean, about every 4th or 5th sneeze, my vision goes white and I get dizzy and lose my balance, but I catch myself before I fall'."
"Sometimes I feel like I'm going to pass out, but I never have'."
"The look on her face was one of pure shock - wide eyes and mouth open'."
"Then I said, 'Now that I say that out loud, that probably isn't normal, is it?'"
"She responded with an emphatic, 'No it's not normal!'"
"It was normal for me because it has been that way for my entire life, so I never thought to mention it.."
"And no one had ever asked me what it felt like when I sneezed."
"And why would they?"
"Everybody sneezes, so everybody knows what it feels like."- TroubledWaterBridge
snow white and the seven dwarfs sneezing GIF by DisneyGiphyHeartbreaking
"The first time I was staying at a friends house when I was in middle school I kept waiting for his parents to start fighting."
"His dad came home, food wasn't done yet, I was waiting for that fight."
'The Youngest brother didn't do his chores."
"I kept waiting for the screaming to start, I had braced myself for it, and it never happened."
"That's when I started realizing that parents aren't supposed to fight every night and drag their kids into it."
"Every day I got off the bus and would have to mentally brace myself before walking through the front door."
"Hoping my mom wouldn't find some random reason to shout at me for 3 hours."
"FYI I'm pretty good now."
"Moved out immediately when I was 18 and lived with a different friend."
"It's been 10ish years now."- Wesley_Otsdarva
If the worst thing you might be doing is getting on someone else's nerves, it doesn't really matter whether or not what you're doing is "normal."
But if you're worried something might not be normal about your health, probably best to call your doctor immediately.
Redditor Shadowclook21 wanted to hear about the times we've seen people waste money on nonsense, so they asked:
"What is the dumbest thing you've seen someone spend their money on?"
I get we all like nice things, but we have to be smart with our coins.
Wake Up!
Good Morning Time GIF by Berk's Beans CoffeeGiphy"An alarm clock coffee machine. It was me."
ineedanusername_
When on FB
"My wife is in a lot of mom groups on Facebook. The amount of people who beg for help for their poor babies who won’t get any Christmas/birthday gifts who also show off brand new giant tattoos is amazing. She shows me every time she finds one of these people and it happens all the time. Usually multiple recent photos of them out drinking and partying as well."
"So yeah, there’s a lot of people out there who blow big money in tattoos and partying instead of setting aside a little bit of money for their kids."
clocks212
Scratched
"Knew a girl who would spend all her money on scratchers and drugs. She would constantly go on about how when she finally won big she was going to move and get clean.... He grandmother gave her a 20 - 30k inheritance. Nothing changed except how many scratchers she would buy. I saw her buy out whole rolls occasionally. She wised up with the last few thousand and put some advance rent on an apartment (was in a motel) and fixed her car. But that money was gone in less than 2 months."
Sub_pup
60 Bucks
"PSA: Accidental subscriptions. Remember, kids, if you sign up for a free trial, be prepared to cancel that s**t the second they allow you. Otherwise, they'll start charging automatically."
xisiko1120
Kaboom
Im Ready Independence Day GIFGiphy"My neighbors once spent all their money on a private firework show, then had to hide their cars from the repo man for months. No longer neighbors."
redheadedstepchild54
Neighbors are always going to neighbor.
Classics
sia diplo GIF by LSDGiphy"I bought a cassette tape two weeks ago. I don't even have a way to play cassettes but I still bought it."
sibipi3040
They're Everywhere
"My Mum has spent $1000s on crystals and stones. She continues to, and gives them as gifts, I have no idea wtf to do with them so I put them in my plants pots then she gets upset for some reason. Send help please."
Necessary_Oil_9779
"Get her a rock tumbler and have her tumble her own and try to identify them. Cheaper in the long run. Makes for a more interesting hobby too, if she gets into it. It will get her out of the house and into nature. Crystals are everywhere, they literally litter the earth. A lot of ordinary-looking rocks turn out quite beautiful once they've been tumbled."
TerrifyinglyAlive
Just a Waste
"I dated a guy who would still use his debit card even when his account was over drafted because he didn’t realize he was charged overdraft fees for every transaction. I had to explain to him his single snickers bar or bag of chips or whatever from the vending machine was now costing him an extra $35. And he did this multiple times every single shift he worked."
beaniequeeny
5 More Minutes
"Gambling machines. I work in a bar room. People will play these machines for 12+ hours and never win. Then they Win $700 the next night and think they’re on top... it’s insane. They look like zombies sitting there in a trance. Once had to unplug the machine on a patron who would not leave for closing. Kept saying '5 more minutes.'"
BrianFrom97
OnlyCrap
"I worked with a guy who'd spend 200-300 bucks a week on OnlyFans. He'd brag about it, I guess he thought of he'd spent enough he might get lucky or something."
TheRealJokar
Why do some people spend with such abandon? It makes no sense to me, but it's not my money.
Have you ever witnessed someone blow a load of cash on something crazy? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor bipolar_bear76765 wanted to hear about the worst things we've heard in an intimate situation, they asked:
"What’s the worst thing anyone has ever told you in bed?"
If I have nothing nice to say, I just leave.
Follow my lead.
Over It
Stay Back Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"I'm not attracted to you anymore. It wasn't during sex but it was still in bed."
Pennywise626
Hold Me
"I don't think you're sexy but you're really good for a cuddle."
JasonPassley
"I know the first and I love cuddling."
Fun-Agent-7667
"Even though I can see how this could’ve been hurtful, especially if you might’ve wanted to be considered more than 'cuddle material,' were you at least able to cuddle your way into self-soothing? Lol."
"Best vibes and hope you have fared well."
Famous-Somewhere-751
Wrong Number
"I got called a mistake immediately after. I had feelings for her and had had these feelings for her for years."
"I thought we would never actually be anything. She was the high school crush that ended up moving away and lost all contact. Through some crazy weird circumstances we ran into each other years later. We had been flirting like crazy for weeks. She immediately cut all contact. Pain."
throwthisoneoutdude
That was quick...
"That she had sex with a friend of mine like 20 minutes earlier."
"I had sex with someone last year who right after we finished proclaimed that she had a boyfriend. Fast forward a year and indeed, they're engaged and sh*t like that.. HOW THE F**!!"
"I had sex a few times with my housemate’s girlfriend. He was completely ok with it as they had an open relationship. She suggested it to me while the three of us were drinking together. He was fully supportive of it, I even took him aside when she went to the bathroom to make sure he wasn’t just saying it for her. It was a bit odd, but we all knew it was a no strings attached deal and it worked out fine in the long run."
bg-j38
Pardon Me?
Nbc Idk GIF by Good GirlsGiphy"You can use one of my boyfriend's condoms. They're in the drawer, but they're probably too big."
InsomniumGatherum
"A lot of dudes who wear a magnum have no business wearing a magnum."
redrosebeetle
Lord, I need a bleach bath.
Stop!
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"Just lost my hair due to heath concerns, was pretty embarrassed about it."
"He looks down and goes, 'Can you stop? You look like a man from this angle.' Oof."
Recoil
“'You make me feel dirty when you touch me.' Happened over 40 years ago and it still crawls under my skin."
wyoflyboy68
Tick-Tock
“'Just hurry and finish.' Two or three minutes in, she said it with a look of pure disgust."
Cultist902
We What?
"We have herpes, now."
420_Traveller
"I could be wrong, but in some places it’s a crime to knowingly infect someone. At least, I do know of civil cases where people were able to sue for damages when someone knowingly had sex with them without disclosing their STD status."
Improvised0
Well people really are the worst at times. Be sure to pick your bedfellows accordingly.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.