In 1492 Colombus sailed the ocean blue.
... it's a rhyme that's stuck in so many of our heads, but its completely useless. You know it, I know it, the schools knew it.
Colombus wasn't the first to "discover" America, and none of the little chants mentioned the whole murderous rampagey bits.
But the ocean was BLUE, y'all. And that rhymes with TWO, like 1492. So here we are.
Reddit was asked:
"What's the most useless thing you learned in school?"
... and yeah ... it would be great if the educational system gave us something useful.
Mostly, it's stuff like this, though:
Ginger
Musik Violin GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy"Probably that apparently Vivaldi's nickname was 'the red priest.' "
"We had to study for exams but our teacher decided to visit 3 separate websites and make us read about him."
- Kirby_ewe
"My music history professor taught us that 'Vivaldi is also known as the red priest. Because he was a COMMUNIST!? No, he just had red hair'."
- nekofastboy
"I fully support the "dive into knowledge about one famous person you want to write about", but not 50, and NOT people who's only accomplishment was to write a couple of poetry books that made my teacher weak in the knees. And of course, there was a 'wrong' way to interpret his works."
-Rubyhamster
Square Dancing Squid
"I haven't really found a use for square dancing."
- ToastAndASideOfToast
"Swing your partner round and round"
- SelectionMission3460
"Same. We learned it in my school cause it's the states dance. But I have never known anyone to square dance besides the TV people."
- USSCofficail
"You haven't found a use for square dancing YET. Just wait for a Squid Games situation."
- HolleighLujah
Disco Ball Demographics
House Music Dancing GIF by JustinGiphy"Kentucky creates 90% of U.S disco balls."
- No_School_4156
"Wow. I live in Kentucky but I never knew that... seems useless!"
- Black_Hole_Neptune
"Actually makes sense if you think about it."
"Disco balls are a niche item that you wouldn't expect to have a ton of different manufacturers, and Kentucky is centrally located so you can easily ship your balls to anywhere in the US quickly."
- fix-ur-acrostics
History Is A Mystery
"In public school we skimmed through the Vietnam war because there was little time left before testing and it wasn't gonna be on there that much."
" 'Long story short, we kinda lost that one...'."
- Senior20172
"It always bothered me when history stopped at WW2 and the rest was covered in a week"
- cheesefondue
"We skimmed over the civil rights and women's rights movements because our white, male, douche of a teacher wanted to spend more time on the civil war."
- MoobooMagoo
"It's been a long time, but I feel like US history is basically always taught as: American Revolution -> Civil War (aka, slavery) -> WW2 (aka, the Nazis), and we're done."
"If your teacher was a Boomer, they might spend more time on the 60s, civil rights, Vietnam. (aka, the glory years when they were a teen) But otherwise, history is basically the wars we WON, why we got in them, and the aftermath."
- TristanaRiggle
Not So Useless Uselessness
Sad Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Haven't played the recorder very often."
- deede7
"Really? I play mine nearly every day. How do you make money when abroad if not playing Hot Cross Buns for 9 hours every day?"
- AnAquaticOwl
"No but it was my first significant taste of playing an instrument. This lead to 7 years of band class and lead to a great social past time in my adult life playing bass after that."
- Oclure
"Playing the recorder was probably way more useful than you think. Music theory and playing an instrument trains the ear and has positive effects on the brain and learning in general. Plus, it introduces kids to an activity they may or may not wish to pursue and, for those that do not wish it, they can definitively rule the interest out because they gave it a try already."
- Anianna
"Learning the recorder helped teach me to read music. I studied other instruments, and enjoyed them a LOT. Not that I was any good."
- KidsTheseDaysYknow
Tariff Trauma
"I know that the Hawley-Smoot tariff was the highest in history. No idea what the importance of that is, if it was good, bad, or indifferent."
- GrizzlyLawyer
"The importance is that some people believe it made the Great Depression a lot worse."
- ReadinII
"Actually you're only kinda right."
" 'The tariffs under the act, excluding duty-free imports, were the SECOND HIGHEST in United States history, exceeded by only the Tariff of 1828.[3] ' "
" 'The Act prompted retaliatory tariffs by affected states against the United States.[4] The Act and tariffs imposed by America's trading partners in retaliation were major factors of the reduction of American exports and imports by 67% during the Depression.[5] Economists and economic historians have a consensus view that the passage of the Smoot–Hawley Tariff worsened the effects of the Great Depression.[6]' "
- Soogoodok248
"Second highest? You mean I only learned one thing in school, and it was wrong?"
- GrizzlyLawyer
Opposite Effect
season 2 GIFGiphy"D.A.R.E."
- mrPandabot35
"I remember hearing a story about a 10 year old who called the cops on his parents because they smoked weed regularly. The police arrested both parents and charged them with felony possession."
"They were normal parents as far as we could tell. They just used to relax with a little Marijuana now and then."
"But the kid specifically quoted DARE when asked what led him to get his parents arrested. That's when I realized how awful what we were taught was."
- PhreedomPhighter
"Fun fact, it's been known for decades that D.A.R.E is a failure and leads to more drug usage. The first of these studies was in 1992."
- Pixel871
President Who?
"Being forced to memorize all the presidents in order. First and last names and years in office in chronological order."
"This sh*t can be googled in 2 seconds. We actually had a test on this where we were given a blank piece of paper and told to write them all down in the right order and this was actually a legit graded test."
- pintoftomatoes
"This is the one and only test I ever cheated on."
"5th grade. I’m so sorry Mr. Lee, but even at 10 years old and pre-internet, I thought this was a ridiculous waste of time."
- QuercusAgri
"Animaniacs practically helped me cheat on that one."
- operarose
Calculators And Pockets
Calculating Figure It Out GIFGiphy"That I wouldn't always have a calculator with me. Jokes on you.
- Fickle-Story-4854
"My dad once didn’t let my sister use a calculator on homework even though the teacher told everyone they needed to use a calculator 🤦♀️"
- Shadowweavers
"Yes, also heard that many times in school"
- Jarl_Fenrir
"Funny enough I did carry a tiny solar powered calculator meant to fit inside a check book for several years just to spite my obnoxious math teacher who said that all the time."
"Though I’ll admit it was useful to have before cellphones were ubiquitous."
- flying_fish69
Basic history
"Elementary school history. Most of it is either a lie/omission of key facts or just a completely random and useless fact."
- OkWalk9190
"The amount of Columbus sh*t I learned in elementary school..."
- Arxl
"What do you mean the pilgrims didn’t actually land on Plymouth Rock??"
- himewaridesu
"What pisses me off is that history is being repeated in later classes, higher schools. If you are going to teach me the same thing again, maybe just leave it now, and get back to me with the material when I'm old enough?"
- Jarl_Fenrir
"Yeah. I'm just getting into to high school and I've learned about the civil war like 5 times now. The only problem is that we never are taught anything after it, so all of my info post-civil war is based off of personal research."
- _Sterben-
We'll be honest, most of these answers clearly came from American schools.
Lots of our readers come from other countries, though - can you tell the rest of us some of the more useless things you've been taught?
Help us feel a bit better about ourselves.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Infatuation is a curious thing.
One moment, you can be swept up in major adoration for someone to such a degree that you can't stop thinking about them.
But the next moment, you may suddenly find yourself moving on.
What is it that drives someone to lose their lust for their former object of affection?
Curious to hear from strangers who experienced going from hot to cold in casual dating, Redditor Romeothanh asked:
"Men who suddenly lost your interest in someone but for a weird reason, what was it??"
Questionable behaviors were seen as major turn-offs.
Poor Parenting
"The way she treated her children, her boy was permitted everything and her daughter had to follow very strict rules."
"I didn't have to ask to know what was going on, the boy's real father wasn't her ex-husband but a guy she had an affair with at work, her daughter was really from her ex-husband. She was always resentful of her upbringing and then her marriage for impeding some kind of dreamed life she thought she was entitled to. So the boy was seen as a piece of that dream and the girl was a piece of her boring life but she was also reliving her childhood through her and pushing her to excel in sports, school and manners and reveling in her daughter's accomplishments as if they were hers."
– Telesto1087
Past Grievances
"She accused me of cheating on her in a past life."
"I told her 'I don’t remember that.'”
– Breloren
"Sounds like something someone who cheated in a past life would say!"
– thefirecrest
At Least She Washes Her Hands...
"She spat in her hands and rubbed them together because she 'needed to wash them.' I cannot describe the colossal speed at which that switch turned off."
– whitesebastian
"Was she some sort of 1930’s farm hand or construction worker?"
– valueduser
There were some serious red flags.
Schadenfreude
"A elderly gentlemen fell in front of us, he took a nasty fall."
"She found it hilarious, instead of helping she just stood there laughing. I helped that person out and I felt so embarrassed for her behavior."
"Also that was the last time I saw her. It was a major turn off for me."
– oxide-NL
Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy
"I invited the girl from my psych course I'd been vibing with to a party. Her car rolled up and I came out to greet her, but it was a dude's car, and she was drunkenly making out with him as I walked up. I didn't flip out or anything, but she slurred her way through some weird attempt at reassuring me that I shouldn't worry, 'cause she was only sleeping with him to punish him because he was a bad guy (apparently that's a thing she does), and that I was a good guy. I didn't ask what happened to good guys. I felt bad for her date, whom she completely ignored the rest of the night. As for the girl, she ended up totally engrossed with the party host's gerbil, tapping on the glass of its cage whispering how she wanted to kill it. I found somewhere new to sit in psych class for the rest of the semester."
– MissionofQorma
I'm Generous And You're Gonna Like It
"She kept buying me stuff. It was nice at first but she kept doing it weekly and demanded I give gifts in return. I asked her to stop and she said "nope this is what I do." Felt like she didn't even care about what I wanted."
– Dry-Enthusiasm3515
Easiest Breakup Ever
"It was a really horrible relationship even this aside but my 'wow i think i actually hate this person' moment was when we were at Badlands National Park. We were just walking out of the gift shop with some other woman when she just let go of the door and it like slammed into that womans face. I said to her 'omg im so sorry' then when we got to the car i said to my gf in like a joking tone 'i cant beliehe you didnt hold the door for her haha' and because she was a very very miserable person all the time this makes her mad and she goes 'well YOURE the man youre supposed to hold the door. I dont NEED to hold the door for anybody' and yeah that one statement alone was very... eye opening for me."
"Seriously the easiest least heartbreaking break up ive ever gone through."
– ILoveTikkaMasala
The Cat Recognized Evil
"My cat didn't like her."
"Brought her home to introduce her to my parents, she meets my childhood cat and. It. Goes. Psychotic. Just for her reaching down to pat him, he panicked, attached himself to her arm, and wouldn't let go, just clawing at her like he found a demon to fight or something. When he eventually detached himself (they were both running around the room screaming as she tried to wave him off her arm) I checked her over and he did some damage. He's never reacted like that to anyone before or since. We broke it off shortly later."
"I found out a few years ago she was in the court system. Why? She tried to kill her own kid. I didn't dodge a bullet because of my cat, I dodged an artillery shell."
– GryphonicOwl
It's not me, it's you.
So Rude
"She didn’t hold the door open to people just meeting her at the door, would let it slam on people behind her, didn’t do the little thank you wave to other cars that let her out, didn’t say please and thank you to serving staff. She wasn’t overtly rude, she just had a bit of a me,me,me vibe."
– Hellenicparadise
Norwegian Love
"She told me she was pregnant and it was mine, 2 days after sleeping with me for the first (and only) time. Then proceeded to tell me she had a boyfriend."
"I should have twigged earlier really. She flew from Norway to sleep with me and flew back the next day."
– Perseus73
Face Reveal
"I’d been talking to this girl in class I thought was really cool. We ended up going for a bite after class one day and she suggested we go hang out in my dorm room. Hell yeah."
"Then she took off her glasses and she looked exactly like my mom. It was so jarring I excused myself to the bathroom to regroup, but when I came back I couldn’t unsee my mom’s face on her."
"I made some lame excuse and went back alone. I felt bad about bailing on her but I also how the hell would I tell her the real reason? Either she thinks I’m a weirdo or thinks I’m saying she looks like she’s in her fifties."
– OneSmoothCactus
Don't Speak
"My mate ghosted a girl simply because he didn't like her cadence when she spoke."
– Random-chick-98
My shallowest moment was years ago when I ghosted a hot tennis player I was dating because he had a particularly annoying gait.
Anytime we would walk around the city (in New York), he would gradually lean into me and prevent us from walking a straight path.
I thought he was deliberately trying to get close but it turned out that one of his legs was shorter than the other resulting in him taking uneven steps.
When he explained his situation, it weirded me out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him why I could no longer see him, so I just stopped responding to his incessant messages about when we were meeting next.
I remain regretful to this day about my immature behavior, and I wish him the best wherever he is.
Reddit user No-Challenge-3305 asked:
"What's the stupidest double standard you ever heard from someone?"
My Time Vs. Your Time
"I had a production manager who would come in late and leave early most days and then make problems for anyone who needed a half day for anything."
~ TheGreatGrappaApe
Giphy"My first manager at my current job was a harda** about hours. Would basically say 'There's the door' if you asked to leave early or come in late, no matter how rare or needed the occurrence was."
"Always talked about how dedicated he was."
"Dude would roll in at 9:30 leave at 11:00 for lunch. Get back at 1:00 and go home at 3:00."
"He constantly talked about how he just LIVES at work... even though we were all there, and he had been seen at the golf course every day."
"One of the funniest moments was when our client was parked behind him, and needed my manager to move his truck to be able to leave, but said 'I'm not gonna ask him to move his truck, because I'm afraid he'll just leave'."
~ bcos4life
"Stealing" What He Gave Them?
"My uncle used to hire undocumented immigrants while complaining that illegal aliens were stealing people's jobs."
"He liked to hire them because they worked hard and were cheap."
~ ScrubIrrelevance
"So he himself was stealing other people’s jobs because it’s not like the illegal immigrants were able to make the decision to employ them instead of a US citizen or person with a visa."
~ CaptainObviousBear
Just For Me, Not For Thee
"'I want an open relationship to explore my sexuality, but I don't want you sleeping with anyone else'."
~ MamaPagan
"I didn't realize people actually said stuff like this until my most recent ex said it to me."
"I was baffled, to say the least."
~ Vetzero
GiphyThey Are "Those People"
"My mom had a problem with welfare recipients until my sibling went on it."
"Then, back to nasty welfare recipients when they got off welfare."
~ Eringobraugh2021
"My cousin is on multiple government programs, and counts the seconds until her 3 separate child support payments come in... then sh*ts on 'Deadbeats' all the time."
"She even bragged about using her EBT to get tattoos."
~ bcos4life
Boys Will Be Boys
"My ex believed that teen girls who fall pregnant while still in school should be expelled and not allowed to finish school at all."
"Sounded like he thought they were contagious or something."
"After a heavy argument I said 'OK fine then boys must also be expelled', but no apparently it's not the same thing."
~ boekieblaker21
Piety Not In Practice
"My aunt calls me a sl*t for wearing short skirts."
"She doesn't know who the father of two of her three children is."
~ Perfect_Patience1109
Giphy"When I was young, a relative used to constantly call me a 'whore' and accuse me of being pregnant, when I had never even had a boyfriend."
"Meanwhile, she was sleeping with someone else's husband."
~ haloarh
"Isn't that usually the way?"
"The one calling people names and pointing fingers is probably the most guilty."
"Hypocrites."
~ NoThanksJustLooking1
It's Only An Entitlement If Someone Else Gets It
"My FIL served in Vietnam. When he came home, he used the G.I. Bill to get a free college degree (in social work)."
"He didn't like being a social worker, so he spent much of his adult life working as an appliance salesman, an electrical supply salesman, or (for significant chunks of time) was unemployed."
"He owned a house and raised two kids."
"When he retired, his sole source of income was Social Security."
"He never paid a dime for medical care because of his VA benefits."
"He sold his house (that he paid like $65k for in the 70's) for a healthy profit, moved to Nevada, and settled into a retirement community."
"If you ask him, he'd happily tell you that 'the problem with this country is all the people and their damned entitlements. I don't know why people don't just get a job'."
~ Redditor
Cheat Codes
"My friend’s mom said Men cheating and women cheating are different because men only care about the physical and not the emotional."
"Come to find out, she was being cheated on by her current husband, and I am assuming this is how she coped."
~ Head-Roll6309
"The responses I got to being cheated on from coworkers were different. I was blamed by other people for not giving her what she needed so obviously she should go out and cheat to get those things."
"And I responded with 'Do you think the same about men cheating?'."
"'Of course not. Men cheat because they can't be trusted and will f'k anything they can. Women cheat because they are being mistreated by men and it's his fault she has to go out and do that'."
"Was a great comment to me, the panic attack filled person whose life was falling apart and entire world was destroyed by her cheating."
"I left that workplace pretty soon after those comments."
~ polorat12
TMI, Dude
"Dude I worked with felt I needed to know that he'd have to have a wife and a mistress because he didn't want someone who sucked his d*ck kissing the kids."
"And I was like 'have you considered maybe washing your d*ck better?'."
~ VinnyVincinny
"Really they can’t reconcile respecting someone they have sex with."
~ Zer_0
Consent Is For Everyone
"'He can't refuse sex. He's the man. The woman always decides when and where we have sex. Everybody knows that'."
"In marriage counseling, my ex-wife (while we were still married). She was serious, too."
~ Azzizzi
"My ex-wife would get visibly angry when I wasn't in the mood but she was."
"More than once I'd ask her like 'you know how messed up it would be if these roles were reversed, right? If I got mad at you for not being in the mood?'."
"And her response was just 'well, you're a guy'."
~ AutoDefenestrator273
"Ugh, it sucks that you went through that, and I'm sorry. The idea that men want sex all the time no matter what is so damaging."
"Everyone is allowed to not want sex, and I wish people would stop acting entitled to other people's bodies."
"Even when people aren't reacting with anger if a male partner turns down sex, this myth still causes real damage in relationships. I know both men and women who've expressed fears that they're broken or their relationship is somehow dying if the woman has a higher libido or even if the male partner turns down sex once."
"It's awful and I really wish people would stop buying into this idea."
~ VinnyVinnieVee
And Now For Something A Little Lighter...
After these serious topics, let's end on a lighter note.
Unless you're a cat.
Feline Fatitude
"I call my cat chubby all the time but as soon as someone else does it, I get so offended."
~ Green_Bench7560
"I also call my cat fat. He is not. I asked the vet."
"But I'd be super offended if he developed the ability to talk in English and then called me fat."
~ Dmahf0806
Giphy"Growing up, we had a cat who was a grand lady but she was kind of a chonk. Pleasingly chonky."
"We took her to the vet for a regular checkup and got a different than usual vet, who came in and said, 'Whoa, well let's look at this little porker!'."
"My parents and I all got mad instantly. We were allowed to joke about her weight. No one else was."
"That's the rule. Also 'porker' sounds so rude."
~ SageThistle
GiphyDouble standards are all around us.
Which ones do you find particularly foolish?
