It's never easy asking for help. Turns out, it's even less easy to give help.
So, of course you feel good when the help you offer someone actually makes an impact.
Reddit user, u/KelsConditional, wanted to hear something uplifting when they asked:
Overcoming Minor Problems Leads To Major Results
Sometimes it's the smallest problems that make us feel the worst. Whether it's a mental tick or an external obstacle, the small stuff can be the most important. Overcoming them, getting past them, is critical to maintaining a healthy mind.
To Start, Sometimes It's Anything
As many other therapists mentioned, we can't share many things because of confidentiality, but here's something I can share.
Any time a previously depressed, disinterested, apathetic, or suicidal client tells me about a new hobby or passion, I get so excited.
Doesn't matter what it is. Dungeons and Dragons, pet rats, growing herbs, 3D printing, anime, video games, geocaching...I don't know about any of those things but if my client is excited about it, I'm over the moon and I want to hear all about it.
Seeing them find a passion for SOMETHING, no matter if it's something that I personally find weird or boring - that's a part of my job that I love and I will sit and listen and cheer them on and I will leave that session feeling so happy.
Learning To Take It Slow
Had a client with chronic illnesses. She was often sick or in pain and felt terribly guilty for not being able to care for her family when she had really bad days. On the days when she felt good, she would push herself to her absolute limit by cooking and cleaning and fitting in as much family time as she could before she felt sick again. Inevitably, she would wake up the next day feeling way worse than she did previously because she overextended herself.
This became a rather predictable cycle. It took months to convince her to slow down a little on the days she felt good and to take care of herself on those days too so that her good days might last a little longer, and to stop feeling guilty for her bad days. She was able to find a balance and improve her overall quality of life. She did amazingly, and I still think about her from time to time. It's been 10 years, I hope she's still killing it.
Every Little Bit Helps
Small steps can feel like nothing. What we want is results, we want to feel like we're progressing, but in a big way. The only way to those big results is by making small steps, with a firm base, and taking note of it along the way.
All It Takes Is Everyone To Help
Therapist here. Withholding information for privacy reasons. Kids for me are really rewarding and inspiring to work with.
One kid growled and yelled at me, wouldn't talk to me at all. fought and stole from kids. He had severe trauma of all kinds at a really young age and wasn't given a chance. Refused to attend classes at school. By the end he did a complete 180. Not just because of counseling but also great support from the school. But his transformation was incredible. He went from yelling and growling out of anger to verbalizing anger to verbalizing hurt it stemmed from. It was truly amazing.
Structure Is All They Needed
I'm a therapist inside and outside of the prisons. I'd say at least 1x a month I meet an inmate that was likely a major POS when they committed their crimes. Fast forward 10-20 years of incarceration later, and they are intellectual, hardworking men of integrity. It's amazing what a little bit of structure can do for someone.
Everything You Say Helps
I've regularly had clients tell me some version of, "Remember that thing you told me about breaking up with them/applying for that job/telling them such and such... Well, I took your advice and it really worked and made such a difference!", and in my head I'm thinking, "that's not at all what I said" or "oh, that was just an offhand remark that had nothing to do with what I thought I was trying to do, but good job!"
It has made me realize that change is kind of inevitable (tho not necessarily for the better) and that when people are ready, there's little that will stop them from moving toward that change; they'll take what I say or, a song lyric, or a convo with the Lyft driver, or whatever is around them and turn it into the thing they need. So maybe I'm just more like the catalyst in the sense that I can help start the reaction, but I'm not there in the end result.
Conquering The Impossible
Then there are those situations that call for celebrations of the highest order. When you've mentally, and sometimes physically, overcome something your fellow man might never understand in their lives. A sickness or a setback that would dismantle anyone else.
Living Through The Unimaginable
One that stands out most was a woman who had used heroin, alcohol, and crack for all of her adult life. She was homeless, had never really held a job, and had multiple legal problems due to her drug use. At 50something, she had decided to get clean and did so for several months, until her child was murdered. She had a brief relapse, but got clean again. In 4 years, she sorted out her legal issues, reconnected with her family, left her abusive partner, obtained her own housing, volunteered regularly, and completed a 4 year degree.
I can't imagine having gone from a complete street lifestyle, enduring the worst tragedy one can imagine newly sober, and then entering and excelling in academia.
Getting Past Something Not Many Could Comprehend
I work with veterans who have had traumatic brain Injuries a lot of whom additionally have some combination of ptsd anxiety and depression. One of our most recent patients was a graduate student before deciding to enlist in 2011 to fight isis. He came back unable to walk and unable to read and remember things properly as a result of the damage to his brain. He could no longer focus in classes, and was severely depressed which lead to him not able to finish his PhD.
We do an experimental 10 days brain stimulation treatment combined with vision and working memory therapy and after his 10 days the changes were astounding. He feels motivated again, there was an improvement of almost 100% on every cognitive and executive function task as well as improvements to his vision/reading/focusing ability. He signed up for classes at the community college here and is hopeful he can finish his PhD in geology and get his life back on track. I've never seen such a dramatic improvement before and it made all the difference in the direction of his life. Reminds me why I do what I do
Getting The Family Together
Oh man.. I have so many but my favorite was probably working with a trans client and their mom. Initially their mom insisted she wouldn't use the client's preferred pronouns, was not supportive of the transition, etc.
I was 100% in support of the client and was happy they felt comfortable disclosing. I provided a lot if information about being trans to the mom, lots of science and research, validated her sadness, etc....
And pretty quickly mom began using preferred pronouns but was still reluctant to buy gender confirming clothing or even consider hormones.. But I just kept working with mom....
Then one day mom came to me and said, "I want to buy [insert gender confirming clothing item] but don't know how to approach it"
By the time I left (I had a new job) mom was discussing hormones. It felt great to have such progress with the family ❤
If you need help, seek help. Don't feel ashamed or afraid. There's always assistance out there when you need it.
Reality shows are extremely popular because it is an ultimate form of voyeurism.
Whether it's on a competition or a home makeover show, pleasure is derived from watching real-life people respond dramatically to inconsequential situations.
But how much of what we see are authentic reactions?
Curious about the experiences of those who were on camera, Redditor S3xySouthernB asked:
"People who were on reality family shows as kids (think super nanny, wife swap etc) how much of it was real and how much was fiction/set up for drama? Did anything change?"
The following Redditors frowned upon the concept of being portrayed differently on camera.
"I was on Wife Swap when I was 10 years old. My family had to switch with a farming family and we were supposed to be the 'city family' even though my family and I lived in the suburbs. There were plenty of quotes taken out of context as you'd expect. They also incited plenty of drama. I was framed as addicted to video games so they took my xbox and gameboy color for the week. A few days in one of the crew members came in with my gameboy and said 'look I found this' and handed it to me. It shouldn't be surprising that they sent the woman staying in our house into my room to 'catch me in the act'."
"To be honest not much has really changed in my life except getting snapchats of my 10 year old face when my friends catch the reruns. I'm open to any questions if anyone is curious."
It was Season 3 Episode 13 of Wife Swap"
Update for anyone who was curious about how much money the show gave us. The initial amount was $20k but after taxes it came to around $15k like others had expected."
Crazy On Cue
"My parents were 'dinner guests' in an episode of Nanny 911 and they said literally everything was staged. I don't remember all of the details, but they said the directors had a 'code word' that they would say to the kids when they were supposed to start acting all 'crazy'. And then once the scene was done, the kids would be perfectly normal."
"My friends parents were on worlds strictest parents. They came to my house on 4th of July and when they showed our house on tv it was a huge mansion rather than our actual house. The camera crew also told the visiting 'bad kids' to steal alcohol from our house."
A glimpse into the lives of those who are unable to part with their possessions is not always scripted TV.
Hoarding For Real
"I worked with a junk removal company for an episode of hoarders and it was actually 99% REAL. The only thing that they would set up a couple times was if they opened a box and found something interesting off camera they would re-open it on camera and act like they just found it."
"My mother was (probably still is, we aren't in contact) a hoarder and you don't HAVE to make sh*t up. They're seriously, seriously mentally ill but they refuse help because they don't think they're mentally ill, or 'it's not that bad' or they're 'going to get to it next month' or whatever. Total denial and self delusion, which is, yanno, common with severe mental illness."
"Example: for who knows what reason, my mother started putting dirty laundry in the bathtub. Eventually there was just a mountain of it. She wouldn't wash it despite our washer working fine. She wouldn't move it. She wouldn't let ME wash it. I was showering at school for weeks already when I told her 'Mom the laundry in the tub has to go. This is ridiculous. I'll help with it.'"
"She said 'There's no laundry in the tub.'"
"She actually tried to DENY REALITY. I went in there and was like 'These are clothes. In the tub. This is laundry.'"
"She replied 'Oh I think those are clean.'"
"I said, 'So then put them away?' I knew they weren't clean. I just wanted to shower."
"She said 'I'll do it this weekend when I have off.'"
"I hate to spoil the ending but..... she didn't do it."
"She hired a dumpster once and was going to 'throw out everything'. It got there. Normal sized dumpster. She didn't throw out anything because 'they sent too big of a one'. Paid hundreds of dollars to hire this dumpster and didn't use it."
"Oh. Then. She was going to sell the house. Someone actually wanted to buy it to gut and flip. It was really a cool old house, speaking design-wise. She decided at the last possible second not to sell. Had to reimburse the buyer's closing costs plus a bunch of other fees."
"Then cried to anyone who'd listen how the realtor was a scammer who 'tried to sell her house out from under her'. Like they're just rouge realtors going around, listing people's houses without their consent and selling them."
Are the emotional outbursts exhibited on reality shows genuine? Not always.
"A class mate of mine was on my country's Next Top Model. Before getting into the show she was asked what kind of hair she would never want to get, so that the producers know about it and not make her have it during the makeover episode. My classmate had long blonde hair which she really loved, so she said she doesn't want them to cut her hair off and that she also hated strange unnatural colors like blue, pink etc."
"Fast forward to the makeover episode. The hairstyling team comes in and finds her hair unfitting for a model, so she needs to get a makeover and guess what? Her makeover obviously consists of a pixie cut and green hair to make her look like a 'punk fairy.'"
"My class mate cried throughout the entire process, so I guess the producers got the drama they wanted out of this."
"There was a family in our neighborhood who was on a show here in Germany. One day, when accompanied by the camera crew, one of the daughters suddenly threw a screaming fit in public, which was totally unusual for her. When the mom was asked later what the f*k had happened, she said, for a tantrum you get 200 bucks extra."
"A girl I went to school with was on 'My Super Sweet Sixteen'. She was always quiet but well-liked and the kids on that show were usually monsters so we were curious about how the episode would paint her."
"There was one scene where she was checking in on a vendor and they said something might not be finished in time for the party and she didn't have a meltdown or anything but she said something dramatic like, 'Oh no! That's going to ruin my whole birthday party!'"
"After the episode aired her friends who were with her said they did a couple of 'takes' because her first reaction was like, 'Oh, that sucks. Thanks for letting me know.'"
It appeared the majority of Redditors who vouched for a show's realistic portrayal of people on TV was Hoarders.
For Redditor azulweber, the circumstance was relatable.
"yeah my grandmother and her sister are both hoarders and i have no problem believing that it's real. i can't imagine someone who isn't a hoarder being willing to allow a show to do that to their home and belongings just for tv."
Sadly, the exploitation of a person's mental illness seems to make for must-see television.
As seen on TV. That line reverberates through all of our minds. Right? I haven't fallen for the, call me know and order group, thankfully. But I have enjoyed their commercials. And I have been duped by the other mediums. I'm still waiting on some things I ordered off of Facebook. And who doesn't owe money to the... buy 9 CDs for a cent group? But once and awhile the product is real and the "scam" is a deal.Redditor u/drichm2599 wanted to know what items we need to start buying by asking... What "as-seen-on-TV" product really works as advertised?
A lot of the Shark Tank folks have made their way to tv to hock items, and it worked, and people are happy! So there has to be some truth to a few things. Let's see what items we should all look for...
The Cleansecleaning up mr clean GIF by ADWEEKGiphy
Oxy-Clean is pretty amazing.
I no longer consider Oxy-Clean an ASOTV product. It is a part of everyday life.
I work for an HVAC supplier and our delivery box truck struck the awning of a restaurant and put a 6"x6" hole in the 'box' part. Threw some flex tape on that witch and it's been sealed for over eight months so far, including a rough winter.
That leaf filter thing for your gutters. Haven't worried about them in awhile and even set up my parents house with them so they didn't try to climb a ladder.
These have been around in various forms for years, but in my experience they pop out, animals get in them, crapt gets under/through them, and within a couple of years they're just a crooked eyesore that make gutter cleaning that much harder. Are these newest ones actually better? Have you checked under them since installing? No gunk? How do you clean roofing gravel out, or does it really not accumulate?
For the PetsWell Done Applause GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Those gloves that you pet your dog with and it desheds them. They really do work, and true to the commercial the hair also comes off in one clean pull. My dogs love them too.
I was given a Hurricane Spin Mop. I really liked it. That was years ago. I considered buying another one, but damn, $30 for a mop is a lot. They do work nicely though.
Mops take a lot of abuse, if you buy cheap ones you'll have broken/shredded mops pretty fast. $30 for a mop wouldn't kill me if it lasted multiple years.
Actually that brings me to mine, which isn't infomercial level, but the Swiffer Wetjet is pretty awesome because I don't have to mop anymore at all. My whole house is 120-year-old hardwood. I used to do Murphy's or white vinegar, but dragging a mop bucket up and down stairs every week sucks hardcore. Wetjet gets the floors truly clean, dries super fast, and doesn't involve buckets. I wish they'd make a Murphy's scented Wetjet but that's probably just me.
I'm getting that dog shedder thing. And well... Oxy Clean is a miracle. But that is old news. Maybe I need to be watching more TV at 3am. Or at least set the DVR for the sales. What else is being missed?
Hugs...So Excited Dancing GIFGiphy
The Snuggie was a freaking damned miracle. You can argue that it's just wearing a robe backwards but have you tried that? the arm holes are all wrong.
Green Gobbler. My bathroom sink was all clogged up and I remembered laughing my butt off to Penguinz0 dubbing over the Green Gobbler commercial. So I figured why not buy some at Home Depot and try it out.
That stuff unclogged my barely functioning sink like nobody's business, my God.
For the Girlscancer bras GIFGiphy
Those little circle things you can use to turn your regular bra into a racer back bra. They're amazing.
I have a Slanket (same concept, different brand) and use it every winter. During the pandemic, I was working from home in a room that gets very cold. I could run a heater, but that tends to just make the room too warm and gives me headaches. I tried a blanket, but couldn't use my hands on the keyboard without opening myself to the cold air.
So I grabbed the Slanket and used that. It kept me warm while I typed away without giving me headaches. If I had a meeting that required video, I simply took out my arms and pulled the Slanket below the camera view.
Of course, now it's getting warm so it's time to put the Slanket away until the cool air returns.
The slap chop. Admittedly, I don't own THE slap chop, I have the pampered chef version, but for mincing garlic or onions it saves a ton of time.
The Snuggie saved my life. I lost it and now I have to re-order as soon as I finish this piece. Trust me, if you haven't Snuggied, you haven't lived. Looks like product sales have stepped it up a bit. I'm watching.
Anyone who has watched A & E's Hoarders suffers from a distant PTSD. How could we not? That show could make you rethink every life choice. Then along comes Marie Kondo. Remember her? These programs have made us confront the possibility that we may hold onto things we never needed or collect in an access that is at the very least... unhealthy. So let's all discuss what could get us on these shows.Redditor u/MitaJoey20 wanted everyone to fess up about what they basically hoard by asking... What do you own an obscene amount of?
Clothes. I have way too many articles of clothing. I was poor as a kid. I was obese as a teen so I over compensate now. I want options of nice things to wear. There. I said it. And now I have to go pay my storage unit of clothes. Who understands?
Comfies...angry peter sarsgaard GIFGiphy
Stuffed animals. But I'd be a damn liar if I said that I'm not cozy at night in my stuffed animal kingdom.
Useless cables from up to 25 years ago. I have phone chargers older than lots of Redditors. IDE extensions. I don't know why.
I have quite a few of them too! A small box full of IDE and floppy drive cables.
By a Hair
Dog hair. That crap in all my belongings.
And then in the middle of us bawling our eyes out, we stopped, and laughed for about 10 seconds. Because that dog's hair was all over our house. He, our carpet, and our couch were all the same color, so a lot of it was hidden, but just everywhere. We declined the lock of hair.
$$$GIF by yvngswagGiphy
Currently have about... 800?
To be fair, most of it is inventory for my business.
All of this is making sense. And there is never an amount of money that is too obscene to have. I don't get the plants, but I hate plants. Sorry green thumbers.
Love is in the Heel
Shoes because when I was a broke child, my parents never bought me shoes I wanted. Now I am broke adult after buying tons of shoes that never see outside their boxes.
Shoes will always love you. Shoes will never leave you. You can gain 50 pounds and your pants and tops may have to be donated, but your feet will stay the same size. I'm here for shoes because they are here for me.
Hey Neo!GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
Pictures of Keanu Reeves wearing a bra.
And now shoes...
Socks without a match.
Lol in my family we have a generational bin of socks that keeps getting passed down. My mom had one, and when my sister moved she took it with her. My sister has now moved four times and that bin keeps going with her.
Gimme Quarters...heads or tails spinning GIFGiphy
Penny stocks are fun. I've made a decent bit off of them over the past several years. Still, I generally try and steer people away from them, since the general public is pretty terrible with basic financial tools like checking accounts and credit cards.
There is never enough of Keanu Reeves in our lives. And I still collect pennies. Money is money. But... we really should examine some collection choices. There is such a thing as too many shoes.
I love money, and I love to spend it. But I also love to be frugal and economic in my spending choices. I am always shocked to see how some people will just throw money about like it's water. (And we shouldn't be wasteful with that either!) Whether you have an abundance of it or not, you might want to rethink a couple of choices. Like ten grand for socks? Really?
Redditor u/Bxtweentheligxts wanted to hear about the most outrageous ways people throw around money by asking... What's the most overpriced item you seen someone actually buy?
In New York City there is a restaurant, I believe it's "Serendipity." It's a city must see and a lifestyle staple. They're famous for their desserts and a special hot cocoa but they also have what is said to be one of the world's "best" ice cream sundaes, that goes for a measly... $1000. Sounds like a steal. From your pocket! And anyone who buys it really should reflect on their life choices.
Chips Away...GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy
I once sold a classmate a bag of chips for $20. I was working a snack sale at school where we sold cups full of chips.
We figured we could get about 20 cups for $1 each out of a bag, so we charged $20 for the bag and she actually bought it. The bag of chips itself couldn't have been worth more than maybe $3 or $4 dollars.
Gencon is a big board gaming convention in Indianapolis every year. "The 4 best days in gaming!"
One of the booths sell mystery boxes. The most expensive one was like $200, so my friend bought it. It was filled with junk. A crappy Pikachu mug, a couple of anime pictures, a blanket, and a couple of other small decorative statues of characters that we didn't recognize.
Then, he had to carry that huge box all the way around the con for the next 4-5 hours until we went back to the car.
That's been 5-6 years ago and we still give him crap for that.
When I was in 8th grade, I needed a microphone to play with friends online and the school art show was coming up. Parents can bid on certain pieces they like but usually only the best of the best get bids. I put a crappy looking clay mug for a starting bid of $25. Turns out someone bought it... my mom did. Was nice microphone.
Pop!Feelin Myself Jennifer Lopez GIF by HustlersGiphy
A bottle of champagne at a strip club.
OMG Me Too!
A lady in front of me in line at Kohl's once paid full price for a shirt.
Last time I bought something at Kohl's they aggressively talked me into buying it on a store credit card for 15% off which I then had to go home and cancel. Now I'm too embarrassed to go back to kohl's because I'm scared they'll just make me get another one.
Yeah see, no. All of those things can be bought on sale or at a bargain store. And champagne at a strip club? How can be just be so willing to spend? It's like an addiction. Let's continue...
You mean Diapers?
Designer underwear for toddlers, i mean really they fit them what 4 weeks? Sure they need 60 bucks a piece panties why not.
Just keep an eye on local classifieds, or family and friends with older kids. My brother has two sons that are older than my kid and my sister-in-law always wanted her kids to have "the best", so my kid has more high-quality hand-me-down clothes than he knows what to do with.
I'll Take a Bud
A $15 Coors light at a festival.
I will raise your beer at the ball game with wine at the opera.
The cashier said $15. I was a little surprised it was that low. Because I am not a fool who would let some student take the fall for an honest mistake, I asked if he was sure. Yep, completely rang it up wrong. $46 dollars later I declare that this is properly inflated prices I was expecting.
Light CatcherHappy Joy GIF by The WeekndGiphy
A $15,000 triangular crystal, "sculpture," that would capture light and cast a rainbow on the room.
My own painting.
One foot square, made in 10 minutes with a palette knife. It started as simply a place to scrape leftover paint off my knife Then I squished a couple blobs of color on it and spread it around improv style. Seriously, 10 minutes tops. When I turned it upside down, it happened to resemble an object/scene.
Apparently it really struck a nerve with someone I know, a visceral response each time he views it. I tried to gift it to him twice, but he insisted on paying $500 for it. It's the highest per-hour income, and highest priced artwork, I've ever made.
It's all so random.
Hammersurprised hammer GIFGiphy
In fourth grade, while visiting the local museum, my friend paid $15 for a piece of sandstone with the word "hammer" written on it in marker. It was supposed to be a Native American hammer, but of course it'd just crumble if actually hit against anything.
What have we learned? No matter how much money you have... there is always ways to have more, through thrifty deal making. So much waste on this thread. And never NEVER buy drinks at entertainment venues. Unless you're gonna skip rent that month. LOL