Therapy is sacred, and it's something we can all benefit from. So it's aggravating when people take advantage of the mental heath process. Those who can maneuver the system ruin it all. Some therapists must have some great stories about the people who have taken advantage.
Redditor.... Unknown wanted to hear from the mental health community by asking.... Therapists of reddit, what are have been the most manipulative things done by incredibly difficult patients?
Meth is a No!
Most recently, it's a tie between someone testing positive for meth because "she was walking barefoot and stepped on a needle that had to have had meth in it" and another testing positive for opiates because "she picked up an unknown pill in her home and it melted in her hand and that's why she was positive for opiates." Both of course denied using. stellarsphere
The Hearing.
Was a therapist in a short-term (two weeks at most) psych hospital. Had a very clean-cut man come in with a police hold pending a mental health court hearing. He was a dentist with a fairly well-known practice in the area and the police had brought him after a domestic dispute where he choked his wife. First clue we were dealing with a narcissist/manipulator?
He choked his wife because she found evidence of him cheating on her and asked him about it. By the end of his stay, he had managed to convince his psychiatrist to let him sign in as a voluntary patient, then asked to sign out against medical advice within hours of the doc letting him sign in with the guarantee that he'd not try to sign himself out. He also got one of the nurses on his side and he had to be taken off her case load because of how much she was doing for him.
I talked to the wife and it's honestly one of the only times I've ever gone against my patient's best interest and told her to start looking for options for herself to get away from the situation. What scared me the most was that he could turn on/off an emotion in a split second. One second he'd be sobbing then he'd stop the minute you asked him something else. mac9426
XYZ.....
Therapist here. I think the situations that stand out to me are parents of teens being a bit manipulative (the teens are my clients). They would lie about needing a letter about their child for one thing when really they wanted to use it to get their child out of some consequences/punishments at their school. Or parents emailing me to ask me to get Little Johnny to do XYZ (anything from eating more vegetables, go outside more, not be friends with so-and-so). Basically asking me to do the parenting.
I make it a policy to show teens any and all emails that their parents send me to avoid secrets (I tell parents about this policy on day one). I'm there to help the teen with their goals, not the parents' goals.
Most people lie about something in therapy. I take that as a sign that trust needs to be further established in our relationship, and I don't expect the whole truth right away.
I've had people try to push my buttons or corner me in hypothetical situations, "if you could choose between having dinner with me or Michael Jordan, you definitely wouldn't choose me!" Or, "Would you leave me alone in your office with your purse sitting out?" BaileyIsaGirlsName
Location X
Clinical director/couples therapist... making several comments in this thread. Been at it a while! In university I did volunteer counseling which occasionally involved house calls.
I saw a couple at their wealthy family's farm about 40 mins from my city. I would do two individual sessions followed by a couples session, for a total of about three hours. When the husband left the room so wife and I could do our individual stuff, he was doing cocaine. This next bit was a major crime so I'm going to change details for anonymity.
He gets high and tells wife he's at location X, and when she goes to meet him he kidnaps their twin daughters. A police chase ensues and there's a standoff. A court case comes of this and they considered flying me from my new location elsewhere back to the original place of practice to testify. Thankfully that was not the case. otiumisc
Training....
Trainee but I've been counseling for a while. I mostly work with kids and parents who've had trauma/abuse. I get a lot of kids who lie to hide the abuse or would lie to protect their parents. A lot of suicidal gestures or fake suicide attempts, The absolute worst one I had was a parent who lied telling us all their child was skipping sessions and school without their knowledge, turns out they were sending their child to a grown mans house in exchange for money. lozzamm
Through the lenses....
I'm a marriage and family therapist. I once had a client tell me he had cancer. Even faked walking with pain as he came in for a session after "half his colon was removed." I did some research and it turns out the whole thing was a lie. He mentioned doctors and diseases that didn't even exist. I continued to treat him through the lenses that he was after some sort of validation from me or the world. I did not confront him on the lies but allowed him to feel comfortable telling me what he was ready to tell me.
He never did reveal any dishonesty in the end, but he continued to come to the sessions, so I assume he was getting some benefit from it. Most of our sessions were centered around some childhood trauma, that also could have been a lie. I eventually had to terminate and refer him to another therapist because I moved. I wish him all the best in life still. west2hale
SUPERMAX....
Most of the time lies and manipulation are a preservation of the self they have created to protect whatever is broken down underneath.
That said, I worked in a supermax male prison a few years ago in the psych ward of segregated housing unit. These guys were in prison, in prison. The psych ward section was full of legit sick guys, and guys who wanted to get out the cell WAY more often than the normal SHU, talk to ladies (any lady will do when in prison, and a lot of therapist in prison are female), and have an easier jail time.
The dudes that were faking it were the epitome of manipulation, and would often times prey on the legit sick guys, and that pissed me off, so I came at them hard and documented EVERYTHING to get them out of my program. Pissed a lot of scary people off lol.
Edit: I give up on the ama. I'll try again tomorrow, I'm pregnant and tired and apparently suck at proof. Sorry guys.
Lair. Liar.
Chronic liar, but my therapist was an angel and would call me out super gently and wouldn't shame me for it-- which is exactly what I needed. Lying is so hard to stop doing because of the fear of people getting furious with you. She was SO kind and accepting even when 50% of the things that came out of my mouth were lies.
She also by coincidence was at an ice skating rink when I was there with friends while also recovering from social anxiety, and while she kept an appropriate distance and didn't engage, I saw her once smile when she saw me order some snacks by myself without help. That was so heartwarming. I wouldn't be half of who I am today without her. <3 ggravendust
Substance use counselor here, I work in a women's residential (inpatient) program. Most of our clients are court ordered and will do anything to get out of treatment, e.g., fake seizures, lie about illnesses, etc. but will also lie and manipulate to get contraband brought in or to deviate off site. Some of the lies are convincing, but I find most to be hilarious. stellarsphere
It's in the Behavior...
Dialectical behavioral therapist here. I predominately work with people with a diagnosis of BPD and unsurprisingly it seems as though borderline personality disorder is getting mentioned quite a lot in this thread. I find BPD is a pretty crappy label for what could rather be much more accurately described as having difficulty regulating emotions and tolerating distress with quite often a history of childhood trauma and or poor attachment.
It's just easier to label someone as having BPD, so easy that it tends to become synonymous with what is essentially perceived as having a clinical diagnosis of being a bad person. CyanideSeedbell
We may not like it, but getting older is pretty inevitable.
With age may come wisdom, but it also comes with lots of responsibilities.
And some days, we're just over it.
Redditor brick_layer asked:
"What tasks are you tired of doing as an adult?"
Decisions, Decisions
"Deciding what to make for dinner."
- PortiaEss
"I would eat people kibble if it tasted good. Bachelor Chow (just add beer) needs to be a real thing."
- chaos8803
Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho
"Going to work and acting like a functional person."
- ovelanimimerkki
"Yep, I hate trying to work when I'm not emotionally stable or just exhausted. And you literally can't tell anyone or they tell you to go get a coffee which just makes the week go downhill over time."
- gg_ff_42069
Manners
"Being polite to other adults who don't deserve it."
- 25_-a
"Also known as the 'I am too old for this sh*t' phase of life."
- Zintao
Cleaning
"Cleaning the fridge. 🤢 when I find something way in the back that’s been forgotten."
- joydobson
"I finally cleaned out ours today because it was trash day, and the husband isn’t home to argue with me about how that sauce from 2015 is 'still good!!' 🤨 Now I have an empty fridge with just the bare essentials. Worth it."
- Grizelda_Gunderson
Circle of Life
"Working. Paying bills. Getting up early. Doing stuff."
- guyfromcroswell
"Agreed. Such a mundane cycle indeed."
- Emotional_Ratio_3251
Is Naked So Bad?
"Laundry grrrrr."
- FewPizza7880
"I tend to put the laundry in, hear it beep, forget about it for 6 hours then remember it needs to dry."
- marvel_is_wow
Traffic
"Anticipating the morons on the roads that change lanes without signaling."
"Or merging into 70mph traffic while doing 45..."
- haveyouseenthebridge
"Or being stuck behind those people as we're merging, I get pissed. Like speed up to the flow of traffic, being behind them merging puts me in danger too."
- Nigel_IncubatorJones
Maintenance
"Buying a house is an endless list of shit that needs fixing or improving."
- muffbiscuits
"This is one of the many reasons I bought a condo. The majority of the maintenance is somebody else’s problem. I haven’t cut grass, raked leaves or shoveled snow in almost a decade."
‐ yogaballcactus
Teeth
"Brushing my teeth. It's annoying."
- scottevil110"
"I feel this deep. It’s flossing for me."
- brick_layer
"Wait until you're in your 60s and all of a sudden the perfect teeth that never even had a cavity now all of a sudden have tiny cracks and need porcelain crowns and you have constant pain and Delta Dental only covers cleanings and x-rays and a single crown is like $1500 and they're telling you that you need four and you think, well, we don't really need two cars, I could sell my old Subaru."
- Nobody_Wins_13
Alarming
"Waking up to an alarm clock."
"I've been waking up to an alarm clock almost every day since 1985, and I'm fucking tired of it."
"I want to wake up when I'm done sleeping."
"I don't want to wake up and find that I've slept through/turned off my alarm(s) yet again, and have to choose between packing a lunch and taking a shower."
- thisbuttonsucks
What part of adulthood are you tired of?
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I would love to know how people don't fear death.
I mean, it's the end. Life will be over. That kind of sucks.
Yet there are people who find tranquility in it.
Can you teach the rest of us?
Redditor deensuk wanted to hear from everyone who has a calmness about the heading to the afterlife. They asked:
"People who are not scared of death, why?"
I have a constant fear of death. I wanna perfect the ending of "Death Becomes Her" so I can live forever.
Before
"I'm not scared of death because of working in health care I was around it so much. I AM scared of what leads to death, however."
Full-Mulberry5020
Why now?
"Why should I be scared now of something that's only going to happen at the end of my life?"
User Deleted
"I did this cult thing called the landmark forum and I actually did like their “meaning of life”: the meaning of life is that there is no meaning. Life is empty and meaningless. There is no answer."
"Life is what you make of it and every persons answer is equally valid because there is no meaning to life. Life exists as, basically, an accident, we are all here by complete accident, there’s no great mystery, it’s all biology and you are 100% free to make life about whatever it is you want."
Conservative_HalfWit
Death and I are good friends...
"I was very sick as a child. Spent ages 7-20 in and out of hospital due to kidney issues. Lost a kidney at 28. Almost died during the surgery to removed the dead kidney due to blood loss. Had 5 surgeries back to back during the next 2 years. Twice they had difficulties bringing me out of anesthesia."
"Found my favorite aunt dead in her bed when I was 22. Watched my best friend die from a brain tumor at 30. Death has been a constant force in my life. Sometimes just on the edges waiting, sometimes unexpected staring me in the face. I'm not afraid because it's always been there. I now work in healthcare. Death and I are good friends."
Tiny_Teach_5466
No Worries
"Because it's coming for us all, sooner or later. So there's no point in worrying about it. I am much more concerned about day to day minutiae. The Lars von Trier film Melancholia starring Kirstin Dunst portrayed this perfectly. If there was an asteroid hurtling towards the earth, I'd probably be more preoccupied with worrying about whether I left the back light on or not."
Giallo_submarine
It's Over
"Because no one has ever made it out alive, and I was dead for an eternity before I was alive, and didn't suffer the slightest inconvenience because of it."
MarshallApplewhiteDo
I never thought about the before much. I hope the before is quick.
The Effects
"I hope that when my times comes it will be merciful. My uncle had a stroke, he is paralyzed. My grandmother is 91, but is losing all her memories of her life. Death does not scare me, what could be left of me before I die is what terrifies me."
M1ssy_M3
No Terror
"It’s like when the writer Nabokov said that he saw a picture one time, a picture of before he was born. It was a picture of his mother, his brother and sister that were older than him, but he had not been born yet. He said that when he saw that picture there was no terror in him, even though he was looking at a picture where he didn’t exist."
im_on-the_can
state of nonexistence...
"I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of dying. Death is just the state of nonexistence I experienced before I was born. I don't remember it because I didn't exist yet. Death will be the same way. I just don't want the transition to be marked by pain and sorrow at things left unfinished. I want it to be quick, painless, and with me surrounded by love."
Wazula42
I'm Gone...
"Because once I die, I won't know it. I won't miss people or regret things or feel pain or sadness about anything. I might fear being sick and slowly dying, just having to live with the knowledge that it's all going to end and this is the last time I'll ever see the people I love or taste good food or hear good music. That sounds almost unbearable. But death isn't even a thing, it's just having done something (died)."
"It's like virginity, it's a made-up state of being that just says whether or not you've experienced a specific occurrence. Once I die, I'm gone. My corpse will be the empty wrapper I used to be in, just garbage to be disposed of in whatever way makes my survivors feel better. I'll be switched off. If I don't worry about what the light feels after the bulb burns out, why would I be afraid of being dead?"
SallyHeap
At Peace
"I’m scared now because I have young kids. Once my kids are old enough to be on their own I imagine the fear will subside and I’ll have a more relaxed approach."
User Deleted
Some very interesting perspectives. May it all calm peacefully and with great mercy for us all.
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Dating and the search for love and companionship... What a nightmare.
This journey plays out nothing like in the movies.
Every Prince or Princess (or everything in BTW) seems to have a touch of the psycho.
The things people say during what should be simple dinner conversation can leave a dining partner aghast.
Like... do you hear you?
Redditor detroit_michigldan wanted to discuss all the best ways to crash and burn when trying to make a romantic connection. They asked:
"You're on a date and it's going really great. What can another person say to ruin it completely?"
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Despite the advancement of technology rendering people left to their own devices–literally–to entertain them, there are some leisurely activities that will never go out of style.
Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"

Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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