Therapy is sacred, and it's something we can all benefit from. So it's aggravating when people take advantage of the mental heath process. Those who can maneuver the system ruin it all. Some therapists must have some great stories about the people who have taken advantage.
Redditor.... Unknown wanted to hear from the mental health community by asking.... Therapists of reddit, what are have been the most manipulative things done by incredibly difficult patients?
Meth is a No!
Most recently, it's a tie between someone testing positive for meth because "she was walking barefoot and stepped on a needle that had to have had meth in it" and another testing positive for opiates because "she picked up an unknown pill in her home and it melted in her hand and that's why she was positive for opiates." Both of course denied using. stellarsphere
The Hearing.
Was a therapist in a short-term (two weeks at most) psych hospital. Had a very clean-cut man come in with a police hold pending a mental health court hearing. He was a dentist with a fairly well-known practice in the area and the police had brought him after a domestic dispute where he choked his wife. First clue we were dealing with a narcissist/manipulator?
He choked his wife because she found evidence of him cheating on her and asked him about it. By the end of his stay, he had managed to convince his psychiatrist to let him sign in as a voluntary patient, then asked to sign out against medical advice within hours of the doc letting him sign in with the guarantee that he'd not try to sign himself out. He also got one of the nurses on his side and he had to be taken off her case load because of how much she was doing for him.
I talked to the wife and it's honestly one of the only times I've ever gone against my patient's best interest and told her to start looking for options for herself to get away from the situation. What scared me the most was that he could turn on/off an emotion in a split second. One second he'd be sobbing then he'd stop the minute you asked him something else. mac9426
XYZ.....
Therapist here. I think the situations that stand out to me are parents of teens being a bit manipulative (the teens are my clients). They would lie about needing a letter about their child for one thing when really they wanted to use it to get their child out of some consequences/punishments at their school. Or parents emailing me to ask me to get Little Johnny to do XYZ (anything from eating more vegetables, go outside more, not be friends with so-and-so). Basically asking me to do the parenting.
I make it a policy to show teens any and all emails that their parents send me to avoid secrets (I tell parents about this policy on day one). I'm there to help the teen with their goals, not the parents' goals.
Most people lie about something in therapy. I take that as a sign that trust needs to be further established in our relationship, and I don't expect the whole truth right away.
I've had people try to push my buttons or corner me in hypothetical situations, "if you could choose between having dinner with me or Michael Jordan, you definitely wouldn't choose me!" Or, "Would you leave me alone in your office with your purse sitting out?" BaileyIsaGirlsName
Location X
Clinical director/couples therapist... making several comments in this thread. Been at it a while! In university I did volunteer counseling which occasionally involved house calls.
I saw a couple at their wealthy family's farm about 40 mins from my city. I would do two individual sessions followed by a couples session, for a total of about three hours. When the husband left the room so wife and I could do our individual stuff, he was doing cocaine. This next bit was a major crime so I'm going to change details for anonymity.
He gets high and tells wife he's at location X, and when she goes to meet him he kidnaps their twin daughters. A police chase ensues and there's a standoff. A court case comes of this and they considered flying me from my new location elsewhere back to the original place of practice to testify. Thankfully that was not the case. otiumisc
Training....
Trainee but I've been counseling for a while. I mostly work with kids and parents who've had trauma/abuse. I get a lot of kids who lie to hide the abuse or would lie to protect their parents. A lot of suicidal gestures or fake suicide attempts, The absolute worst one I had was a parent who lied telling us all their child was skipping sessions and school without their knowledge, turns out they were sending their child to a grown mans house in exchange for money. lozzamm
Through the lenses....
I'm a marriage and family therapist. I once had a client tell me he had cancer. Even faked walking with pain as he came in for a session after "half his colon was removed." I did some research and it turns out the whole thing was a lie. He mentioned doctors and diseases that didn't even exist. I continued to treat him through the lenses that he was after some sort of validation from me or the world. I did not confront him on the lies but allowed him to feel comfortable telling me what he was ready to tell me.
He never did reveal any dishonesty in the end, but he continued to come to the sessions, so I assume he was getting some benefit from it. Most of our sessions were centered around some childhood trauma, that also could have been a lie. I eventually had to terminate and refer him to another therapist because I moved. I wish him all the best in life still. west2hale
SUPERMAX....
Most of the time lies and manipulation are a preservation of the self they have created to protect whatever is broken down underneath.
That said, I worked in a supermax male prison a few years ago in the psych ward of segregated housing unit. These guys were in prison, in prison. The psych ward section was full of legit sick guys, and guys who wanted to get out the cell WAY more often than the normal SHU, talk to ladies (any lady will do when in prison, and a lot of therapist in prison are female), and have an easier jail time.
The dudes that were faking it were the epitome of manipulation, and would often times prey on the legit sick guys, and that pissed me off, so I came at them hard and documented EVERYTHING to get them out of my program. Pissed a lot of scary people off lol.
Edit: I give up on the ama. I'll try again tomorrow, I'm pregnant and tired and apparently suck at proof. Sorry guys.
Lair. Liar.
Chronic liar, but my therapist was an angel and would call me out super gently and wouldn't shame me for it-- which is exactly what I needed. Lying is so hard to stop doing because of the fear of people getting furious with you. She was SO kind and accepting even when 50% of the things that came out of my mouth were lies.
She also by coincidence was at an ice skating rink when I was there with friends while also recovering from social anxiety, and while she kept an appropriate distance and didn't engage, I saw her once smile when she saw me order some snacks by myself without help. That was so heartwarming. I wouldn't be half of who I am today without her. <3 ggravendust
Substance use counselor here, I work in a women's residential (inpatient) program. Most of our clients are court ordered and will do anything to get out of treatment, e.g., fake seizures, lie about illnesses, etc. but will also lie and manipulate to get contraband brought in or to deviate off site. Some of the lies are convincing, but I find most to be hilarious. stellarsphere
It's in the Behavior...
Dialectical behavioral therapist here. I predominately work with people with a diagnosis of BPD and unsurprisingly it seems as though borderline personality disorder is getting mentioned quite a lot in this thread. I find BPD is a pretty crappy label for what could rather be much more accurately described as having difficulty regulating emotions and tolerating distress with quite often a history of childhood trauma and or poor attachment.
It's just easier to label someone as having BPD, so easy that it tends to become synonymous with what is essentially perceived as having a clinical diagnosis of being a bad person. CyanideSeedbell
Some people like sweets, some people like alcohol, some people are willing to spend extra money a month just to have full access to all 14 seasons of their favorite obscure Canadian detective show.
You don't judge us, we won't judge you.
Reddit was asked:
"What is a guilty pleasure for you ?"
...and ... like ... we honestly feel kind of bonded in non-shame over this stuff.
Because it's all just SO GOOOOOOOOD!
It's Britney ...
"Playing Britney Spears’ music on 11 when I’m in the car all by myself. Especially 'Work Bitch' when I’m on the way to work an extra shift."
-nancydrew1224
"Toxic is an undeniably fantastic song."
-TheBrontosaurus
"It's such a weird mix of elements. Obviously you have Britney's pop singing, but it also mixes harsh strings with synth electro and a lot of rock elements. It blurs several genres together, and accordingly fits well next to other genres of music."
-Nambot
Those Golden Arches
"McDonald’s"
"I regret my choice right after finishing my meal. But not enough to prevent me from going back the next week lol"
-Candidmirror12
"Why did you say the word? I've been clean for three months straight!"
-realfoodman
"Yep."
"I get a craving 2-3 times a year. Same damned order every time. Large #1 value meal with a coke and a cheeseburger."
"I love their little chopped onions"
"Did you know that the Coke syrup formula for McDonald’s is different than what you get at home or other restaurants? It’s actually sweeter per McDonald’s request and specifications"
-mlgbt1985
Can't Run
"The Tremors anthology. Bad B-rated horror but god DAMN do I love me some graboids."
-BolognaIsNotAHat
"The first movie is legitimately excellent. The rest are stupid syfy level movies that are still a ton of fun."
-Taynt42
"The second one is also not terrible. Felt like a well measured escalation. The 3rd one on, though... SMH."
-Hotarg
"You ever have something be so bad that it loops itself back around into being awesome? That's this."
- [Reddit]
Perfect Mood Lifter
"Watching kid shows or disney movies even though I'm an adult."
-BanGinGDreams
"Phineas and Ferb."
"I honestly love to cruise the country side with my biker group, smoke half a pack, get home crack a beer and see what Phineas and Ferb did today."
"I'm a 28 year old man."
-Tiger_In_Maine
"Cartoons are good for the soul. Visually pleasing to watch. Good stories. Usually have some safe humor. Always end on a feel good tone. The perfect mood lifter when you're feeling down."
-GingerJayPear
Go Go Power Rangers
"Power rangers lore."
"I'm 28, can't get myself to sit through the kids shows anymore. But man did I love the series growing up and like keeping up with the new stories and seeing how it's going."
"My significant other would pretty much leave me if she found out how much I'm still addicted to keeping up with a show that I should have dropped 20 years ago."
-PN-DUBS
"Full stop, check out the comics. They were made for people that watched it as children and are adults now and they are honestly nothing short of incredible between the art and storylines. They do some really rad stuff."
-ForSafeKeeping220
Digging
"Picking my nose. I know it’s a bad habit but it’s nostalgic"
-VictoryIsMudkipz
"Kinda same it's not just gross but I also feel like it makes my nostrils bigger so I feel even more guilty 😭"
-getawaycar7H13
"There are two kinds of people in the world. People who pick their nose and liars"
-energy_falcon
Terribly Delicious
"Bad coffee."
"Like you go to a chrome-plated diner by the interstate and the coffee is made of cheap, stale grounds that has been on the hot plate or 3 hours. Something about it is super nostalgic."
-MutantOverlord
"Hell yes. I'll get like 5 refills on that tiny ass cup, tyvm"
-stoncils_
"Just terrible enough to want another cup."
-caseyd1020
Later
"Procrastinating….I hate myself for it"
-Usual-Difference9135
"I was going to comment the same but figured it could wait."
-C0rnD0g1
"I usually have two or three things on the go at once. So when I feel like procrastinating, I switch to one of the other things. My job has become literally me always procrastinating."
-StGir1
T.Swift
"I, on some occasions, belt out Taylor Swift’s 'Our Song' when I’m alone"
-nenolpunk
"I do it too but with 'The Story of Us' "
-SoonlyXo
"Taylor Swift's old songs are the best songs"
-AwesomeSpindleberry
"It’s this or 'Teardrops on My Guitar' because wow. Hit me in my teen feels."
"Who is Drew? I don't know, but I’ll sing about them regardless"
-nenolpunk
Hipster ASMR
"Before I discovered ASMR, I used to secretly watch videos of makeup tutorials because they made me feel relaxed. I'm a guy who's never worn make up in my life."
-SXOSXO
"I'm a man in my 30s. I love the cosplay tutorials from Alyson Tabbitha."
-amadeus2490
"Literally same!!! I watch NikkieTutorials or Naomi Jon! Like I personally don’t wear make up but I love the art behind it"
-patzzxd
So tell us, what's your pleasure? And do you HONESTLY feel guilty about it?
Go ahead and talk about it in the comments, I've got a certain Canadian Detective to check up on.
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Love or money?
An age old question.
Ideally, you wouldn't have to decide between the two.
In a perfect world, you would be able to find the true love of your life and be incredibly wealthy all at once.
But, as the saying goes, you can't have everything.
Though if faced with having to choose between the two, people might have a different idea of what the obvious answer would be.
Redditor lulinghayaw was curious how people would decide when faced with this decision, leading them to ask:
"Genuine, true love or 5 million dollars? Why?"
My love is worth more than that.
"True love because my true love is 5 trillion dollars."- ImOnARush.
Freedom to do what you love.
"I'm gonna be really honest, I'd choose 5 million dollars."
"Having that much money means financial stability."
"It means not having to work for money - that wouldn't mean not working ever again, but doing a job you really love even if it doesn't pay well."
"I would be able to study without worrying about burdening my parents."
"I could achieve my dream of getting multiple degrees."
"Money isn't just money, it's opportunities."
"Without having to worry about money, I could focus on improving myself in every way - getting healthier, studying more, having a stable routine, reading a lot, overall becoming the best version of myself."
"I'll have plenty of time to find true love, improve relationships with friends and family and everything else."- lux_blue.
Money over love any day- no matter the amount.
"5 dollars."- SpaZzzmanian_Devil.
"SHOW ME THE MONEY."- _starvingartist.
How much is true love worth.
"Money."
"Love can't pay my bills."- LiteLit.
Money can't buy happiness.
"True love."
"Moneys cool and all, but I'd much rather be in a loving relationship."- WhiskersCleveland.
But money can buy a lot of other things...
"5 mil, I’ll wipe my tears with hundreds."- Weary_Gate7941.
True love...with a rich partner.
"Genuine true love."
"It didn't say my partner and I would be poor."- moonIightbaby.
"The greatest thing, you'll ever learn..."
"True love."
"I have been alone all my life."
"I’ve always had toxic friends because i told myself i deserved it, i told myself 'at least they want to be friends with me'."
"I have a narcissistic mother and a dad that isn’t emotionally there because of his own trauma."
"I have a sister that flat out ignores me when I talk and my other siblings are too young for me to have the kind of bond that i need right now."
"I have an amazing best friend but it’s different than having someone that loves me and i love back."
"If you had asked me a month ago i would’ve said 5 million."
"I would’ve been lying."
"If you had asked a year ago I would’ve said 5 million and I would’ve been telling the truth. true love is priceless."
"I’ll be winning 4 million on the lottery tho."- 76543210987654321.
Some might say being truly, madly in love feels like having five million dollars.
While others might feel that having five million dollars feels even better than being in love.
Others might simply strive for a little bit of each.
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It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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