Therapists Reveal How They First Discovered Their Patients Were Sociopaths
Therapists Reveal How They First Discovered Their Patients Were Sociopaths
[rebelmouse-image 18361039 is_animated_gif=Sometimes people are just not ok mentally. That is not a judgement. Knowing you need help is 90% of the battle. Maybe if we all acknowledged we needed help sooner we'd all be better off.
Redditor dahdoc asked the therapists of Reddit to divulge Therapists of Reddit, what made you realize you were treating a sociopath? It's all slightly unsettling but... we ALL have issues.
PEOPLE ARE DISAPPOINTING.
Psych nurse here.
Patient I gained a lot of trust with told me about this person he and two others tortured almost to death. I knew the case because it made the news. He went to jail for it. Went in to details about the torture. It included making hundreds of cuts to the persons body and giving them an acidic bath.
This guy was in our ward for about a month (continually threatening suicide if he was discharged). .
Thing is he stood trial as a minor and threw his mates under the his, claiming they were the instigators and he simply went along with it. They are still in jail
DOES SOMEBODY HAVE SOME HOLY WATER?
[rebelmouse-image 18361040 is_animated_gif=I worked in a locked inpatient psychiatric unit for 5 years. I saw many things that scared me but the most bone- chilling patient I ever worked with was a handsome, charming 35 year old man we will call Mark.
On our unit, if you told your nurse you were actively suicidal, you were placed on a 1:1 meaning you had a staff person assigned to you at all times to be in any room you were in to make sure you didn't hurt yourself. Mark nonchalantly came up to his nurse this particular day and stated he was suicidal and needed assigned a staff personal. Even though we knew (or so we thought bc you can't be 100%) that he was lying, we had to provide him with a 1:1. I was the only available staff person and was therefore assigned to him. He asked me to walk "laps" on the unit with him. I said sure.
As we walked he asked seemingly meaningless questions about things like my favorite food or holidays I enjoy. I am always cautious about giving out information and felt his questions were harmless. About an hour into our walking he commented that He gathered I care deeply for others. Then took his head and smashed it through a glass window. Blood gushed from his face and glass was stuck all over his head. We had to transport him by ambulance to our emergency department.
Two days later he returned back to our unit, medically/ physically cleared. Upon coming back he came up to me to apologize for "scaring me", winked, and walked away. I fully believe he caused pain to himself to put that ever terrible visual in my head and scare me into knowing that if he could so easily hurt himself, he could do the same for others.
VIDEO PROOF IS EVERYTHING.
[rebelmouse-image 18361041 is_animated_gif=Great kid during the day, tormented his foster siblings and videotaped it at night. Loved being the "good kid" in the house during the day and "didn't understand why Jimmy would scream and hit so much." Meanwhile Jimmy" was his target at night but wasn't verbal and couldn't tell anyone. Sociopath was always kind to the verbal child so only Jimmy was prey. In front of the foster parents, Sociopath seemed like a model teen. Finally a video surfaced through sheer dumb luck and now Sociopath is in jail. No one believed it until they saw the video. He's handsome, charming, and will ruin lives because his youthful offender status means he won't have a criminal record.
WELL THAT IS FRIGHTENING!
[rebelmouse-image 18361042 is_animated_gif=My dad's a (now semi-retired) psychologist. Back in the 90's, he was working as the director of psychology for a large housing and treatment facility for the severely mentally disabled. He wanted to get into doing some therapy sessions for non-disabled folks on the side, just to mix things up and stretch his professional wings a little. Our house had a home office "wing" with a separate entrance, so he decided to start seeing a few patients on the weekends.
This plan lasted about three weeks before he realized that he'd made a terrible mistake.
One of his patients, a very large gentleman, began visibly melting down during a session, pacing around the office and acting increasingly erratic. My dad's thoughts turned to the fact that his wife and three kids were now in the same house with a big dude who was clearly unstable. He slowly positioned himself by the door in case the guy tried to bolt for it. The guy noticed this, pulled out a gun, and said, "Don't worry, if I wanted to hurt you or myself, I would have already used this by now."
My dad utilized the same skills that he knew from working with violent patients at his main job to talk the guy into putting the gun away. He escorted him from the premises, and never saw another patient at home again.
My mom was pissed.
OK. BYE FELICIA.
[rebelmouse-image 18361043 is_animated_gif=I've worked with a few, the most disturbing one was an ex military guy. He had served time in Iraq in the early 2000s, and he had killed in the line of duty. He always seemed a bit off, but the story he told me that was like, "holy hell he's a sociopath" was when he told me about how he would do things like kill goats, because he could get away with that and some families there depend on livestock to survive.
The second was more of a "sterotypical" sociopath. He had been arrested for drug possession, and during the arrest attempt had stabbed himself a few times while trying to stab the arresting officers. He was very sharp, but intentionally choose the life of a drug dealer because it was violent. I don't think he ever actually killed anyone, but he definitely abused people pretty horrifically. He dealt meth and enjoyed power tripping off messing with desperate addicts. He was also the only antisocial person I've ever met who had a weakened pain response. He once stabbed himself with a pen to prove to me he "didn't feel pain". And I mean like a legit, buried the pen in his flesh, blood everywhere kinda stab. Yeah....
I CAN'T!!
[rebelmouse-image 18980145 is_animated_gif=While one cannot be diagnosed with Anti-social Personality Disorder (the disorder most-associated with what the layperson understands as sociopathy) until adulthood, Conduct Disorder is often the place-holder diagnosis given to children who meet similar criteria. While working as a Clinical Supervisor/Clinician at a mental health crisis/assessment facility, I had parents who brought in their 6 year old son. This kid was freaking adorable, soft-spoken and polite. When queried as to history, the parents remarked that among numerous incidents of animal cruelty/abuse.
RED FLAG!! RED FLAG!!
[rebelmouse-image 18345996 is_animated_gif=Honestly, he made me feel scared and panicky to be in the same room. Part of being a therapist is you build a very strong client-therapist bond, and there's a lot of empathy/openness in the room, so things can get quite intense and emotional (in a good way). With this guy I felt like a tiny trapped little animal in the room with a dangerous predator.
He had no remorse for his actions. He'd slip in remarks meant to impress/threaten, then look somewhat annoyed when I did not react (I was reacting inside). I do not fully recall his name/looks and wouldn't on here anyway, but on the outside he looked totally normal and actually seemed kind of ok. But after talking to him for a while, there was this emptiness that I found quite disturbing.
He casually admitted to domestic abuse in the same way someone would admit they left the hall light on by accident... to me, in front of his partner!! He'd never brought it up before and, as a trainee I should NOT have been working with DV cases. They would be triaged and referred to someone with specialist experience. I can't go into details, obviously, for confidentiality reasons... but it was a huge overreaction to an honest accident (could have happened to anyone) and he literally mentioned it in passing, and seemed to be more like'Oh for gods sake, this isn't even worth mentioning, why did I bring this up, I'd rather be talking about myself'. He just didn't care.
I remember just nodding and remained calm, whilst drawing a huge exclamation mark on my notes. I made it through the session somehow, then immediately told my supervisor and had him transferred to a different counsellor.
I've honestly never been so scared of another individual just from a'vibe'.
IT'S ALL IN THE EYES.
[rebelmouse-image 18980146 is_animated_gif=I've been a licensed therapist for going on three years now, but I've been seeing clients (with an Intern license) for about five years. The vast majority of my clients have been on probation or parole and have had a wide range of mental illnesses, including anti-social personality disorder (ASPD).
My mentor described folks with ASPD like this:"It's in the eyes. They've got shark eyes: cold and predatory, like they're staring right through you, looking for your weaknesses to exploit." And, having worked with several people with that diagnosis (and adolescent precursor Conduct Disorder), it's pretty damn accurate. People with ASPD are some of the most manipulative people around, and many of them enjoy it. Manipulating people is almost a game to them--well, a mini-game to indulge in while they work on whatever else they're planning, even if it's as simple as "present as normal." And, let me tell you: they're good at it. It's incredibly difficult to out-play someone with the diagnosis at their own game because they've been playing it their entire lives. Since my clientele are court-ordered, most of the manipulation revolves around trying to cover up whatever else they're doing (abusing their domestic partner, abusing substances, etc.). Some are more impulsive than others with the diagnosis, but they all have the shark eyes.
KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THE KIDS.
[rebelmouse-image 18980147 is_animated_gif=Not a therapist, school psychologist. When talking to a student, he casually mentions how he keeps his parents _"in line" _by threatening to call ICE to have his mother (undocumented) deported. He doesn't care about his family in the least, and they have zero control over him. His two siblings are typically developed and are terrified of him.
YOU CAN'T SAVE EVERYONE.
[rebelmouse-image 18980148 is_animated_gif=I work in a residential substance abuse program. I don't take offense to most clients behaviors; they were in the midst of their addiction and they're trying to get better for any number of motivators (self-referral, family, probation/parole mandated, etc.). I've worked with convicted murderers whom were remorseful and great to work with, so whatever, let's do some work together. But I'll speak of one person whom I believe to have Antisocial Personality Disorder:
After approximately 30 minutes talking to him during intake, I could tell how well he might be able to manipulate those he believes are "dumber" than him, and he stated as much. He mimicked my language, posture, he spoke eloquently, and was charismatic as all hell. But something was just off. I take note, and move on; needed more data. And as he continued in the program it became apparent. Everything was someone or something else's fault. Failed relationships, his addiction and particular drugs of choice, his inability to hold jobs; no accountability or responsibility. He even blamed his brother for getting upset that he (my client) stabbed his brother. After my client had stolen his brother's car in the dead of night and drove it in a ditch and abandoned it; then he lied about it and stabbed his brother for being "annoying". He manipulated other clients and staff, and was damn good at it, except for a few of us who would call him out in group sessions or through behavioral contracts.
He was my individual client and during a session, I was challenging him because there were inconsistencies in something he shared. Then he finally came clean. He is HIV+ (I was aware of this). He contracted HIV by cheating on his partner or sharing a needle (he and the person he cheated with shared needles). He had discovered he was HIV+ prior to his partners return, as they were gone for an extended period of months. He got on treatment, and then... didn't tell them at all. Still hadn't at the time I stopped working with him, and I believe they are still together.
He completed treatment by going through the motions and is now out in the community. He is young. I have a strong feeling that at some point he will move to even more malicious acts, and I wouldn't be surprised if he kills someone in the future.
PEOPLE CHANGE.
[rebelmouse-image 18980149 is_animated_gif=This isn't exactly what you were asking, but a relative of mine was given an unofficial diagnosis of ASPD when she was younger. At the time, the doctors told her family that they "didn't like to officially diagnose someone that was under 18."
As a child, she was extremely manipulative and could go from acting very _"normal" _to being stone cold in the space of a moment. Her parents forced her to go to therapy, but as soon as she became an adult, she stopped.
Her life now, as an adult, is pretty normal. She is still extremely manipulative but is also better at hiding it, so she comes off as charming. She works a normal job, though she usually changes jobs (by her own decision) every year or two. Her boyfriends seem to only last as long as they are useful for whatever reason. I don't think she really has friends though.
ALWAYS BE READY TO SWING.
[rebelmouse-image 18346884 is_animated_gif=Not a therapist, this happened to my Medical Psychology teacher (psychiatrist). Guy comes in. First time, has appointment. He is greeted by my teacher's secretary. Doctor is with another patient, running 5 minutes late. Patient is upset because he was told he would go in at X time sharp. He sits down. After 5 minutes the patient gets fed up, stands up from the reception's chair, goes to the secretary's desk, grabs the 15 inch CRT computer monitor and crashes it into the secretary's skull.
He leaves, calmly.
Secretary suffers several vertebral fractures along with a skull fracture.
I don't know if the police caught the patient afterwards.
CHILDREN ARE SCARY EARLY ON! PAY ATTENTION!
[rebelmouse-image 18980150 is_animated_gif=I work in an elementary school, I started there three years ago when the boy in question was in third grade. I knew something was off about him, but I didn't have much interaction with him. Fast forward a year, he's in fourth grade and since I work primarily in fourth and fifth grade, I'm having to deal with him a lot more. He mimics behaviors, has cold eyes and stares through people like he's dissecting them. He's very manipulative, but unfortunately (for him)/fortunately (for us) he's so wrapped up in pleasing himself and getting what he wants, he's not charming at all. Very manipulative, but lacking charm.
He was violent and would hit and kick other kids, which he was repeatedly written up for. Towards the end of fourth grade it came to a head. We were at recess playing a huge game with a lot of the fourth and fifth graders and he essentially got out. He freaked out and hit the kids who got him out. When he saw I was getting the behavior/incident report out, he ran at me.
I guess because I'm a 5'5" female, and am overweight, he wasn't expecting me to be as strong as I am, but he tried to tackle me, and instead I planted myself and he bounced off. He tried to punch me and the other teachers I was with called for back up. I just kept blocking his punches and kicks until the main disciplinary officer showed up. All the whole this kids is screaming details of how he's going to torture me, told me he was going to use my intestines to strangle me.
Reports were written and he had to go to in-patient treatment. He's back now, towards the end of fifth grade, and while he's less violent now, and doesn't threaten anyone, he's still very manipulative. He scares me.
THE BIRDS!!!
[rebelmouse-image 18980151 is_animated_gif=He had a wealth of dead birds under his bed that he poached himself. Each of them being a name of a childhood friend he"once knew."
NEVER ACCEPT FIRE!!
[rebelmouse-image 18346850 is_animated_gif=I work with kids. The boy was very charming and confident. Polite and well mannered. But I knew that he attempted to burn his sister and he liked to smear feces on the wall. He ran away a lot too. I asked my supervisor what would become of a kid like that. She said he was a sociopath in the making. Generally you don't label kids as such but his behaviors for a 10 year old were extreme. Sad case. Sad and horrifying.
SOMETIMES IT'S TOO MUCH!
[rebelmouse-image 18980152 is_animated_gif=Therapist here. I've had several clients that were a bit extra. The one that sticks out the most was during my work as an inpatient therapist where a borderline HIV + sex addicted client tried locking me in her room during rounds and offering "favors". I haven't done therapy in 2 months now and I think I'll stick to academia for now.
NO REMORSE. PAY ATTENTION!
[rebelmouse-image 18345853 is_animated_gif=I work with adolescents mostly in group homes. This kid was particularly quiet and kept to themself. It was clear he didn't understand social norms and rules. Would interject oddly and forcefully into conversations, had little to no theory of mind (understanding that others have thoughts), and would play games to understand how they should think during therapy. Anyhow, to make a long story short, they figured out how to mimic many emotions, graduated out of the program, and was transitioned back into the community. A few months after they'd left, their family was on the highway and this kid threw a dog out of the window. Zero compassion, zero remorse. They didn't learn those well and it was apparent during the intake interview and subsequent therapy. They struggled and showed distress not knowing how to act and most of what they talked about after was how to not be discovered again.
Important Lessons People Have Learned The Hard Way
Reddit user IndianaC0NES asked: 'What’s an important lesson you learned the hard way?'
We've all had to learn something the hard way or at a super inconvenient time.
But because we're always learning new things, of course there will have to be some things that we learn later, rather than sooner, no matter the consequences of learning it too late.
Redditor IndianaC0NES asked:
"What's an important lesson you learned the hard way?"
Money Management
"Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty."
- cpu5555
Permanent Partner
"Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever."
- pntszrn74
Make It Official First
"Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account, and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed."
- FriscoFrank98
Know Your Limits
"Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night."
- Gadrilor
Trust Your Gut
"If something feels wrong, it likely is."
- drzed47
"This is closely related to, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'"
- remag_nation
The Importance of Dental Health
"Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene."
- the_rice_life
"And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL."
- Next-Confection3261
Be Careful Who You Share It With
"Not everyone has the same heart as you do."
- Accomplished_Hat2770
Be Wary of Bullies
"Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you."
- Ko_ogs72
"My brain still can't comprehend someone being a d**k for no reason."
- Arny520
Recognize the Red Flags
"Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real."
- Fxk07
"And: No one is worth sacrificing your self-respect for."
- Waltzing_Methusalah
"It sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with."
"We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point, it’s too late to escape unscathed. Self-respect and what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships."
- brashbabu
The Likelihood of Success
"It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose."
- Tropicsenshi
Family Ties
"Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart."
- OhMyGodBearIsDriving
"Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad people who are biologically related to you."
- noorofmyeye24
Wear the Helmet
"WEAR A HELMET."
"It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering, etc. And it can literally save your life."
"I went all through the 90s thinking helmets were lame... I Fell while rollerblading in my 30s and got a subdural hematoma. I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into the concrete."
"HELMETS SAVE LIVES."
- Shortiie5115
Proper Eye and Ear Care
"Here is my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have a completely s**t vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, it's important."
- ipsok
"And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus."
- farmerofstrawberries
Love Your Loved Ones
"Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug."
"Never end a conversation with a harsh word."
"Both for the same reason. You never know if you will get to see that person alive again."
"I learned both those lessons from each of my parents."
- Edgezg
Self Advocate
"Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!"
- MISTERDIEABETIC
As humans, we will never stop learning and taking in new information, but there are, of course, some things that we wish we could have learned sooner or through an easier path.
But at least now that we've learned these lessons, we can share them with others, so they might not have to take the same path we did.
From a young age, we've all had it drilled into us the importance of finding a good job that we can work at for the rest of our lives.
But sometimes those jobs don't work out for one reason or another, and sometimes all of the fault gets pinned on the employee.
Redditor DankGamer135 asked:
"What one mistake ended your career?"
A Scam Order
"While working at a builders’ merchant's, a customer called to place an order over the phone (not unusual) and wanted to give me the card details, there and then (red flag)."
"I initially refused, but another member of staff vouched for them as they were regulars. I put the order through, knowing that whoever came to collect would need to come into the office for their paperwork before loading, so we would have them on CCTV if it did turn out to be suspect…"
"Except the yard crew didn’t follow the process. When a van turned up for the goods, they loaded it all up and sent them away without asking for any kind of ID or manifest."
"The payment card was later reported as stolen, and the staff member who vouched for the customer denied even being in that day, which was a f**king lie as she never took time off. I got fired and everyone else got to keep their jobs."
- Shas_Erra
"That sounds like a setup. They should’ve been easily able to verify whether the person that vouched for them was working that day (check her clock in/out times, CCTV, etc)."
"At the very least, someone on the yard crew should’ve gotten fired too because they didn’t follow procedure either (and it’s even worse because if they had, it could’ve been stopped dead in the tracks)."
"I’m sorry, man."
- princessleyley
Lifting Wrong
"I lifted wrong. 14 years of arboriculture coming to an end now, and I'm not sure of the next job."
- Spaghettitrees
"14 years might be enough to move into a supervisory/managerial role if one exists in the field. It would allow you to still utilize your experience to some degree."
- srentiln
A Screaming Match
"I worked retail pharmacy for 10(ish) years. One day in the drive-thru, we had a belligerent patient. The guy's doctor sent his script to our other chain about 1.5 miles down the road. We were on the same street, and addresses get mixed up all the time. No biggie, give me 10 minutes and I'll have it ready..."
"But the dude just starts laying into me for no reason. Calls me an id**t. Calls me incompetent. Says he knows where his doctor sent it and I'm a lazy, lying piece of s**t. Etc, etc."
"After a few MINUTES going back and forth, with this guy yelling loud enough in my drive-thru that other staff inside the store can hear him, I tell him he needs to leave and find a new pharmacy."
"The guy lays into me again. Refuses to leave. I tell him, 'F**k off or I'm calling the police.'"
"Apparently, that was over the line for my company. No interview with HR. No discipline. No suspension. They just straight up fired my a** about three weeks later after an 'internal investigation.'"
- frithjofr
Physical Space
"One of the Directors wasn't happy with some work I'd done and started poking me hard with his finger to punctuate his comments."
"I punctuated back considerably more forcefully."
- jonnymars
The Angel of Death
"I called the HR lady the 'Angel of Death' to a coworker on chat. (HR was in a different state, so any time they came to town we all knew it was most likely to lay off people.)"
"The Angel of death came to get me shortly after, lol (laughing out loud)."
- michaudra2
"I once worked in a company as the help desk tech that would come collect tech while people were in with HR getting fired. I got the nickname Grim Reaper, because if I showed up with my cart and nobody in that department called, then one of their colleagues wouldn't be coming back from their meeting with HR."
- Houseplantkiller123
Home Sweet Home
"I built a castle out of Christmas chocolate biscuit boxes in the warehouse of a major retailer on a night shift and proceeded to fall asleep in it for a few hours."
- masontraining
The Wrong Recipient
"I sent a scathing email about my boss directly to my boss. It wasn't meant for him."
"To this day, I still have no idea what possessed me to put his name in the address bar. I noticed his name the exact moment I hit send."
"You have never felt that much panic."
- Happy1327
A Brand New Car
"I was a part-time intern making $9 an hour (USD) and my boss asked if I had any plans for the weekend."
"I had said I was going to buy a new car (very much old and used as that's what I could afford) and he asked if I was buying a brand new car. My response was that my budget isn't big enough for a new car."
"A couple of weeks later during my one-year review, my manager said they didn't have the work for me and that I was disrespectful for telling the boss I didn't make enough money."
"At the time I was living comfortably as a college student who just needed different transportation. I tried not to be disrespectful but apparently I was."
- Kulee43
Fired in Retaliation
"I got security responsibilities added to my duties as a sysadmin at a small university. I was asked by my boss' boss, the IT director, to do a security audit. He asked me to report on the audit at a department meeting."
"I asked if I could present my results to him privately instead and have him present at the meeting, but he insisted I could take care of it."
"My report showed major security holes, demonstrations of tests of said holes, and recommendations for patching said holes. Many of the patches were at the level of 'change the administrator password from 'password' to something less obvious.'"
"As my political acumen was near zero at the time, I didn't realize how the report on major security problems made the IT Director look completely incompetent in front of the entire department. He had built and configured the campus computer system pretty much on his own, at least in his mind, and was quite proud of his accomplishment."
"He suspended me on the spot, demoted me, and tried to convince the university to fire me and try to bring me up on criminal charges for hacking into the university's computer systems."
- firelock_ny
A Terrible Accident
"I had a workplace accident, a fall from an extreme height. I didn't get fired but broke enough bones that I'll never work in that industry again."
- Malromen
Out of Context
"I was opening my packages in the mailroom, using a pocket knife to slice open the packing tape. The secretary came in and chatted. We’re both Italian so we gesture a lot while talking."
"Sometime after the conversation, the Ops manager came down from his office and escorted me out of the building. I had forgotten the knife was in my hand while talking with the secretary, and she made an accusation that I had threatened her with it during our conversation."
"I was fired three days later."
"I had worked with this woman for almost a decade. I helped her children with their homework, etc."
"Years later, I learned corporate wanted to take down my boss and started the process by going after his biggest supporters. I was the third domino to fall. After I was railroaded, almost 40% of the branch’s staff left the company. I guess the secretary was in on it and leaped at any excuse to take me out."
"Shame. Really loved that job. And got fired when my first child was due in only four weeks. It was very demoralizing for quite a while."
- Bokuden101
Stolen Cigarettes
"This isn't about me, but a guy I worked with was caught stealing two cigarettes from a colleague's bag. He was on a six-figure salary. Not anymore!"
- Rude-Scholar-469
"How can anybody be so dumb? Especially as a smoker, he should be aware how other smokers are very likely to share their cigarettes with you if you just ask them."
- SherifGames
The Stolen Lunch
"This didn't happen to me, but I remember a coworker of mine getting fired because he put laxatives in his own lunch bag. Some d*ckhead kept stealing parts of our lunches. Turned out, it was our supervisor."
"I'm not too keen on the specifics since that coworker and I weren't exactly friends or anything. I just kind of had simple conversations during lunch and whatnot."
"Apparently, it is illegal to poison food with malicious intent. And some of my friends who worked there said he got into some legal trouble because of it. Nothing came of it from what I heard. But that's about all I know."
- DeicideandDivide
A Slanderous Date
"I went on a first date with a girl who turned out to be a horrible person 20 minutes in."
"I did what I could to get out of it because she was telling stories about crazy things she’d done and was proud of. I didn’t pull anything to get out of it, just dodged land mines and asked a ton of questions about her so I could get out of it sooner."
"Then I said I wasn’t feeling the connection and I wanted to be honest so we didn’t waste each other's time."
"I found out a week later that she contacted my previous employers, because she found my LinkedIn, told them all stories about how I talked a ton of s**t about them all. And now I can’t get a reference from my previous three jobs… and people I was on good terms with."
"All because I went on a date with a psychopath."
- FirstFlight
Taking Sides
"I sided with the peeps under me as their manager."
- ThunderClap449
"It's more important to have the back of the people you represent. In my experience, you get better production out of people who know you go to bat for them. Then your numbers and team performance look good and they figure, well, he must be doing something right."
- A_Vile_Person
While it is always terrible to lose a job, these stories make it clear that sometimes we lose jobs for reasons that really should be no fault of our own. From fraud to accidents to false charges, people have been fired for things they certainly shouldn't have been.
And for those who were fired for reasons that wholly were their fault, well, at least that was a learning experience.
Emotions are high at weddings, with the bride and groom going through various stages of anxiety and excitement.
During those stages, seeing how well a newly wedding couple interacts with each other as well as with other family members and friends under pressure can indicate how well they work together as a team.
If professional wedding photographers had years of experience capturing one of the most monumental milestones for couples, they would be able to identify if a couple can make it for the long haul.
Curious to hear from them, Redditor Arknight40 asked:
"Wedding photographers of Reddit, what was your 'they're not gonna last long' moment?"
Some marriages had problems before saying "I do".
The Last Session
"Bride looked visibly miserable the entire ceremony. While photographing the men’s 'getting ready' portion, the groom repeatedly kept joking about killing himself."
"During the toast, the bride ran off to the bathroom for about 30 minutes and came back wiping her tears with her eyes red and puffy. Neither of them had any chemistry at all, it made no sense why they were together to me. That was the last wedding I shot."
– Majestic_Storage_563
Groom's Wandering Eye
"I'm a videographer and the groom called me a couple days after the wedding. He wanted me to make sure I didn't include any footage of him checking out the women at the wedding."
– Tim0281
Party Bride
"One of those hotel venues that can run two weddings at the same time. Bride from our wedding is found in a hotel room with the groomsmen from the other wedding doing drugs before the first dance. End result was we got paid and were told no need to edit or deliver pics. Safe to say It didn't last the night."
– mysticsika
Red Flags Galore
"The engagement session."
"The couple was in from out of town because she had just taken the bar exam to become a lawyer. At the end of the session, I gave them a prompt to share with each other what they were proud of each other for. He couldn't think of a single thing."
"Somehow they still got married, complete with: the groom drinking 11 IPAs + several shots before the ceremony, mother of the bride so drunk for family photos she pretended to strip, and the groom and all the groomsmen wearing camo hats with neon orange letters that said 't*tties and beer.' For the entire wedding day. Including sunset couples photos where he refused to do anything I suggested, nearly spat chew right on my feet, kept farting on purpose, and loudly complained about how all he wanted was to go have sex."
– V-Savage
Demanding clients indicated how difficult they might be as a spouse.
Once More From The Top
"Wedding was on a golf course. Bride had a vision she wanted of her husband driving up on a golf cart to see her for a first look."
"He got one look at her from the top of the hill and vaulted the cart, ran down the hill, picked her up and twirled her around to tell her how gorgeous she was. We caught it all. It was the best first look ever."
"Once he set her down she straightened herself and looked back to us. 'Okay, I don’t want that. Let’s do the golf cart now.' And she sent him back up."
– Pancakes_Whisperer
More Photoshop Please
"I did a wedding for an acquaintance and her husband. Day goes great, I’m really happy with almost everything I took, everyone was feeling it and having fun. But, (and this is one of the reasons I quit photography) the bride sees some of the photos I had sent her, and immediately is calling me. 'I need you to do the editing magic and make me look skinny, John was saying I was going to look too fat in my dress and wanted me to lose weight but I knew you could just edit it, so haha I didn’t'. So I have to explain (this is like 2010) I can only photoshop so much, I.e. I can make you look a tad slimmer in certain photos without making it noticeable. But I can’t do it to all of them, and if I was to, the editing would be noticeable, and I will have to charge you a lot of money to edit you in all the photos. She tried to convince me to edit hundreds of photos for a couple hundred bux, and I have other jobs going and had given them a great deal already so explained I couldn’t. So she insist I do at least some of her main pics, I tell her when people see the rest of the pics they will see the difference, she didn’t care and insisted more. So I do, and a couple weeks later when I thought it was all done and history calls me and leaves me a voicemail of how I ruined her wedding, her new husband is upset at how she looks in the pics and keeps making remarks about her weight. So didn’t seem like they were in a great place from the get go."
– Jadedsatire
A Secret Arrangement
"While shooting video, I attached a microphone to the groom for audio and proceeded to prepare for the ceremony. Just as I was about to adjust my audio settings, the groom stepped into another room with a friend. As I put on my headphones, I overheard the groom confiding in his friend, describing the wedding as a 'wedding of convenience' and reassuring them not to be concerned about what would happen in their relationship."
– NoodleMaps
The best man shouldn't have too much to drink. They might overshare.
Cold, Hard Truth
"Went to a wedding during college to my friends that got married who graduated 2 years prior to me. They had a beautiful wedding on a boat off the Keys and as the best man gave his speech, he was really drunk by this point, just shouted out, 'You don't deserve her, you literally got a bj from a stripper no make that two strippers at your bachelor party. Peace out.' He dropped the mic and tried to do a dramatic exit but by this point we were all stuck on this boat in the middle of the ocean. It took an hour to get back to port, and it was the most awful and awkward hour of our lives for everyone on that boat."
– breakitupkid
A Harsh Roast
"in another life, i worked catering shifts. loads of saturday weddings. i'll never forget the best-man's toast of the groom. it was a shameless roast. he spoke openly about the groom's willingness to shag anything when he's drunk. he then went on and on about the groom's deadly gambling habit and his short fuse when he doesn't win. he asked the stone-faced groom 'how many thousands of dollars in golf clubs have you destroyed or lost in countless ponds?' nobody was laughing. the bride had tears in her eyes and the groom's parents sat in stunned silence."
– dys_p0tch
Some people aren't marriage material.
Disasterous
"This was 15 years ago or so, I left wedding photography a few months later."
"The reception was at their home, they didn't want photos at the ceremony, and didn't want wedding party/family photos between the ceremony and reception triggering the first raise of the eyebrow on my end. At the reception the groom didn't want his brother, the best man, in the photos. Other eyebrow goes up. The mothers of both the bride and groom both scolded me to let them be and told me to eat instead of take photos. The groom and the best man got unholy drunk and had a weird by play of brother making way too many toasts and the groom making grossly inappropriate speeches of what he's going to do to the bride on the honeymoon."
"As the newlyweds were making their grand departure the bride tosses the bouquet, everyone cheers. The groom shouts 'I knocked the b*tch up so hard she's got two babies in her c**chie"' Guest react in various ways of shock and happiness about the pregnancy test but the best man lunges at the groom shouting and swearing. Family holds the best man back as the couple runs out to a car. The groom flipped off the spectators, and pulled out of the driveway. Two houses down the car stops, the groom gets out and pukes on a neighbor's lawn, the bride gets in the driver's seat and takes off, leaving her husband yurking into a flower bed, and the best man ran down the street trying to flag down the car."
"Divorced four months later."
– OmicronPerseiNate
These are but a mere sampling of weddings gone wrong or couples that should never have gotten together in the first place.
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
We've all found ourselves in a position where we simply couldn't contain ourselves and found ourselves putting someone in their place owing to something they said which was either wrong or just plain stupid.
When it comes to the latter category, though, it's often worth taking a minute to wonder if fighting that particular battle is even worth it.
As many people who are about to shoot down their current conversation partner might take a minute and really examine the person they're talking with before remembering the old saying: "Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
Sadly, some people remember this conversation too late, and find themselves falling down a conversational rabbit hole from which they may never escape.
“'Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience'.” What's your best real life example of this?"
They Literally Won't be "Shut Down"
"When I tell people to just reboot your computer and it will fix all their problems and yet they won't because they said if you wait long enough it will shut down, when in reality it only goes to sleep."
"Then when I tell them they have to completely shut it down they look at me like I'm an idiot and say they did."
"I tell them it seems like it but it only went to sleep."
"They argue back."- niallaa
Some People Just Don't Get It...
"I used to argue a lot with my sister when we were kids."
"She would do this thing where she would say something, and then I would reference back to it literally a minute or two later to prove a point and she would say 'I never said that' or 'that’s not what I said'."
"Absolutely impossible to argue with someone who will just deny having said things that could hurt their argument."
"Also, trying to change the course of an argument if they feel like they are 'losing'."
"A coworker once called me an idiot for doing something 'incorrectly' when I was actually doing it the right way."
"When I politely explained to them that the way they suggested doing the task didn’t actually work, they started asking 'why are you getting so angry?? I was just trying to help' etc."
"So now we’re arguing about whether I’m angry or not instead of the right way to complete the task."- themightypianocat
Facts Are Facts...
"Arguing is pointless if you do not agree on a set of facts."- niallaa
Facts GIF by Judge JerryGiphyYou Can't Have It Both Ways...
"For a short while, I worked as a line cook at a Cracker Barrel, and there was a little saloon style door that led to the staff section (kitchen, bathroom, etc)."
"There was a staff only sign on the door, above the doors, and on the wall behind the doors at eye level."
"Usually if someone from the customer side comes in, they said, 'Coming in' before opening the door, so they didn't hit anyone, but of course customers didn't know that."
"So when this dude opened the door and hit a waitress carrying a ton of drinks, we were reasonably upset with him."
"He said, ;You should really put a sign up'."
"We showed him all the signs, and he goes, 'That seems a bit excessive'."- GreyFoxHound1
So Wrong.
"Had an employee sign an NDA about an upcoming art installation that had investors."
"He told everyone."
"He argued with me the NDA only meant he couldn’t disclose anything with the people in the company."- BosskHogg
He Knew What He Was Talking About
This was best said:
“'Never wrestle with pigs'."
"'You both get dirty and the pig likes it'.― George Bernard Shaw"- Zerowantuthri·
pigs GIFGiphySome Outdated Inventions Are Definitely Not Missed...
"I’m showing my age here but I used to work for an estate agency, and we had sales offices set up at the site of large new housing developments."
"Our primary method of communication was fax."
"One of the sales associates telephoned our office to say that the fax machine had run out of paper."
"No problem, I said, one of the guys is coming your way later for a house tour, I’ll give him a box of paper to give to you."
"We then had an almost 20 minute long argument when they kept insisting 'NO, YOU JUST SEND ME A BLANK FAX BECAUSE I NEED THE PAPER, IT WILL JUST COME OUT OF MY FAX MACHINE'.”
"It was like trying to nail jelly to a tree."
"Difficult, irritating, and it achieved nothing."- BettieKat
Very Few Hills Are Worth Dying On...
"I had a friend in university who was a world-class high school debater."
"Over meals, she liked to pick a ridiculous proposition and then talk circles around people until they had to concede to her point, no matter how absurd."
"When she tried it with me, I just stonewalled her."
"Met every point with a solid 'I don't think that's true'." or 'That doesn't make sense'."
"Eventually she gave up and never tried it with me again."
"It was the only time I've ever used the tactics of the stupid to win an argument."
"But, to be fair, if you're not arguing with me in good faith, I feel no obligation to respond in good faith."- kitskill
IS The Customer Always Right?...
"Working retail."
"Especially when I worked in the tech shop or a computer store."
" Trying to convince someone their $500 laptop is never going to be a gaming system no matter how many of the very few replaceable parts we throw at it can be exhausting."- MOS95B
happy episode 7 GIFGiphyEducation Only Matters If You Learned Something....
"Was arguing with this dude about something math-related."
"He didn’t know how to read a study that involved statistics. claimed he was in multiple AP math classes."
"Tried saying that I 'probably don’t even know basic integration'."
"Gave me a common integration problem."
"He wrote it but forgot the minus sign, making it unsolvable."
"I pointed it out and he edited the comment to make it correct."
"Told him that some people can see when you edit comments."
"He claimed that he just capitalized a letter. on and on and on."- SaturdayNightCity
Good Legal Counsel Might Be Worth The Splurge...
"I asked a representative from the Friend of the Court to explain something she said and she told me that I understood what she was saying."
"I replied that I wouldn't have asked her to explain if I had understood."
"She said if I was going to be difficult, she would hold me in contempt."
"My X chimed in that she didn't quite understand what she had said and was greeted with a smile and an explanation."
"From that point on I always disagreed with the Friend of the Court on EVERYTHING, so that I could be seen by the 'Actual Court' and a Judge."- PURPLEPEE
Season 4 Episode 21 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphySore Winners Are No More Attractive Than Sore Losers...
"Once worked with a guy who, by his own admission, got his rocks off by picking fights."
"He'd start an argument over the smallest thing."
"If you said it was white, he'd say it was black, just to try to start something."
"The one that always stood out for me was the weather app competition."
"One day he asked me what temperature it was, so I read it off my weather app."
"He got all offended, because his weather app said it was a couple degrees warmer."
"So he decides we're going to have a weather app competition."
"He was going to chart what our apps said the temperature was, and at the end of the week, whichever one was closest to that day's high would be the winner."
"And the loser would have to start using the winner's app."
"To which I said, "What is your f*cking problem?'"
"So, yeah."
"For the first few days, he'd make a big performance about marching into my office, recording the temperature off my app, jotting down some notes, and walking off."
"This started on a Monday."
"He gave up after Wednesday."
"Either because I was winning, or he was disappointed because, despite his best efforts, I just did not give a f*ck about weather apps."
"Or maybe the boss told him to stop because I filed a complaint that this was bordering on harassment."- originalchaosinabox
Im Always Right GIF by ZionGiphyIt should perhaps be said calling someone an idiot, or even thinking it, is not a particularly nice thing to do.
Even so, if you're tempted to do so when you're in the presence of a particular individual, probably best not to provoke them.
After all, if you're so determined to "win," does it really make you any better than them?