Joining a therapy group or seeing someone one-on-one is an open admission you need help. That's perfectly fine, as seeking assistance in life's problems is an extremely positive act you can do for yourself. On the other side of that relationship, you have a therapist who, hopefully, wants to help you. For whatever reason, it doesn't always work out. You can't crack through, or you can't figure it out, and you can only hope to find help through other means.
Reddit user, u/Ate10, wanted to know:
Sometimes, There's Too Many Factors
I am a therapist who works with families with adoptive children. I have had many clients I could not help. Families that seek help are often on the verge of ending the adoption. The children experienced trauma and unstable attachment and families have been struggling. It often feels like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound.
There have been many families who stopped because therapy wasn't helping: the children continued to "not behave." I currently have a family I worked with for a year that seems worse off than last year. Most days i struggle not knowing how to help them.
However. I remind myself that a therapist's role is small compared to the other factors for change (change happens when the person is willing and able and environmental factors support change). Also, I remind myself of the small changes that the families and me made happen together.
You Can Do Everything Right...
I provided therapy for people with acquired brain injury for several years. This one man of about 58 was sent for care. Sweetest guy in the world. Nothing worked. Nothing.
I created a behavioural tracking plan for him and observed that he was losing function, while in active rehab.
I contacted his doctor and asked for an urgent referral to a neurologist because I suspected dementia. It was dementia and the doctors agreed with me that he had suffered the accident that caused his brain injury as a result of thinking and coordination problems caused by the dementia. I helped get him admitted to a dementia care facility so no further harm befell him from trying to live on his own.
Sometimes, You Just Have To Pass Them Along
I referred them to someone I thought could help.
For example, I work a lot with ADD, but sometimes people need to be medicated before they can be expected to focus enough to do the work required in therapy.
They're Only Looking For Validation In The Wrong Ways
My gf is a person centred therapist and works with troubled women.
This one woman complained about her last week because she couldn't make it in one week and the week beforehand my gf had sort of triggered her to cry (but only by helping her reflect on herself, not because she said anything to her), ever since then, the girl was really offish with her and decided to complain and get another therapist, apparently my gf was her 3rd at the therapy Center she works at, the girl doesn't want help it's obvious she just wants someone to say mob yeah your life sounds really hard'
Nothing Worked For Years
I am on the other end of this question. I was a patient who was told by a psychologist he couldn't help me. When i was 17 i got hit by a car while riding my bike and i got hurt pretty bad but not life threatingly bad. it was supposed 3 to 6 months for me to heal fully but that never happened, i'm still in serious chronic pain 6 years later. So i met with a psychologist because my lawyer recommended i do so to help both myself and the case against the driver that hit me.
I explained what i was going through, he diagnosed me with ptsd, and told me theres nothing he can do to help my ptsd while i am still in so much pain. He told me not to book another appointment until i am out of pain, which never happend.
Parents Can Be The Worst
The kid I really couldn't help had severe ADHD and possibly bi-polar, though we strive to avoid diagnosing young kids with that unless it's really REALLY obvious. In this case the parents refused to follow my guidance or do a family therapy session with both parents present. The mom was the one doing all the "work" - giving the kid meds and literally physically fighting with her (DCF called)- but not using actual discipline- and would give into the kids demands as soon as she threw a temper tantrum. I tried to warn mom when you start using discipline after not doing so for 13 years, it WILL get worse before it gets better. But the parents worked long jobs and often left the child rearing and discipline to an older sibling or relative who wasnt equipped. I eventually recommended out to ABA because even though the kid wasnt cooperative, she was doing a lot of dangerous stuff that could lead to her hurting herself and I wasnt cool just leaving the case.
Thet being said it's rare for a kid to just not cooperate (tho it does happen). 90% of the time it's the parent who is not complaint or who actively sabotages the kids recovery (like I've literally heard a parent say 'If your grades go up theyll take away our disability money and we cant afford rent"). Family systems are generally responsible for a young diagnosis, especially depression or anxiety but the parents scapegoat the kid and act as though they have done nothing wrong. And I get it, it's hard to hear as a parent that YOU are actually the problem. They also treat the therapist like a babysitter (like no, you cant leave the house just because I'm here).
You Can't Make People Do The Work
I do motivational interviewing and cognitive behavioral therapy for people trying to quit smoking as part of a research study.
We have about a 65% success rate with getting people to quit 1 month. It's hard to say what the numbers are beyond that because, while we do collect 6 month and 1 year data points, we get a lot of drop off because people use the study as a means to an end and we get a lot of attrition once they feel confident they don't need the support anymore.
The biggest indicator of inability to quit is, like others have said in the thread, wanting to be off cigarettes but not being willing to put in the work. For just about everyone that has put the CBT, MI, and general coping strategies to use outside of our weekly counseling sessions has successfully quit. The ones that come in with external reasons for quitting (my wife wants me to quit, I'm tired of getting looks from other people, etc etc), don't engage in any "homework", and don't consistently come to sessions are the ones that don't make it through.
Except this one woman that hit every indicator of a soon-to-be successful quitter, was working with us for 3 or 4 months and was making good progress, and one week just completely cut contact. We called her, emailed her, texted her, sent her letters, but she completely vanished with zero indication that she was having a hard time or in danger of relapse. I still think about her pretty frequently. She was older, so I actually do hope she relapsed and got too embarrassed to call us back, because the alternative explanations for an older person trying to make positive change in their life going completely silent are more morbid.
Just To Repeat: You Can't Make People Change
It's not so much that I can't help, it's that people don't want to change. Someone will only make changes when they are ready, not before.
I saw a couple much older than me one time and it was pretty obvious that it was over before we started. Often times when people come to therapy as a couple it's already too late. I had quite high hopes, but they had such contempt for one another.
Nothing Is As It Seems
Secondary gains. Patients sometimes come to therapy maybe with a genuine problem maybe without but there's an ulterior motive their driving then coming and its glaringly obvious.
I'm trained to give unconditional positive regard so even if I'm suspicious I'll play dumb with you unless there's enough contradictions for me to point it out and even then I'm going to be understanding about it. However, please don't waste both of our times. If you want something, ask for it. If I can help, I will.
If I can't I will at least point you in the right direction or explain why it's a bad idea and ask if you do want to continue therapy. If you don't it means I can offer the space to someone with a genuine need and want to be seen. Our waiting list is currently 3 months to be assessed and 6 months to then be treated.
Behavior Is A Big Factor
Working in the psychiatry, with some of the worst patients here in my country. It's all about making the most stable environment and situation for every patient, if theyre too extrovert and act out too much for us to handle, we call the police which then takes them to the acute department in the hospital.
Crimes Are A Big Interference
My dad works as a therapist. He has a patient who has 5 kids, a wife, & lives in a somewhat rust belt town. Let's call this patient 'Miguel' Miguel is a heroin addict, who also sells heroin. He sells to a cop, and the cops raid his trailer. Arrest him. Eventually the cops drop the charges, or whatever they're called, & Miguel celebrates! BUT they put the case on a federal level.
Nothing That Can Be Done
My father, brother, mother and I went to family counseling when my parents were heading toward divorce. We were the the therapist's last appointment on a Friday evening.
She committed suicide that night. My family disbanded soon after.
The Wire Burns Both Ways
I was "let go" by a therapist.
I was being treated for depression by my university psychologist. In actuality I was bipolar and yet to be diagnosed. I was coping in every possible unhealthy way. Self harm, alcohol, binging/purging, etc. The university wasn't set up for long term care so after a certain number of sessions she had referred me to an outside psychiatrist but it was a terrible experience and I went back to her. She told me that she couldn't keep seeing me for her own mental health. She had become so concerned for me that it was affecting her.
It was incredibly hard to hear. Like "I'm so f-cked up I even disturb a professional." But mental health professionals are people too and I understand why.
If It's Not Working, You Have To Stop
Of course. Many times. Psychotherapy (whatever the flavour) is not always effective.
There's an ethical obligation of therapists to evaluate their progress with all clients/patients during the therapeutic process.
There's also an ethical obligation to discuss with them if there's no progress being made. It doesn't imply blame on either the client/patient or the therapist. But if things aren't working, it needs to be discussed, and other options should be considered.
It's just like if you had an infection, and a particular antibiotic wasn't helping, you don't just keep doing the same thing. You consider other treatment options, and also other treatment providers.
I've referred many clients that weren't being helped. It's not about giving up, it's about seeking the best outcome for the client (not the therapsit). To think that you are the only therapist that can help someone says more about your narcissism than the client/patient.
Who's that one patient you couldn't help? Tell us all about it!
Food is a totally subjective thing. What has one person drooling might leave another dry-heaving just thinking about.
Having said that, some stuff is just plain ... wrong.
Have you ever eaten something that hit you so wrong that it kind of upset your soul? Something so foul and sacrilegious that even years later you get a little bit angry thinking about it?
Something that made your tastebuds cry out for you to avenge them?
Then this is the article for you.
Reddit user PhillyGirlLovesBagel asked:
"What's the worst food you've ever tried?"
Friends, your hunger deserved better.
The Worst Burger On EarthHungry Kate Hudson GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"In the Dominican Republic, there is a mountain in Puerto Plata called Isabel de Torres. On that mountain there is a restaurant."
"That restaurant sells the worst goddamn burgers you will ever eat in your life."
"Would just like to say, don't be discouraged from visiting the Dominican Republic. The people, culture, scenery, and food there are all amazing!"
"Take it from me, I lived there for six years. 9/10, would recommend. Just seriously - AVOID THIS BURGER."
"They were so bad I almost puked after the first bite and our entire party left. The patty (if you could even call it that) was burnt to a crisp."
"The patty itself looked and tasted like a mix if rice, eggplant, and beef. It also had way too much 'sauce,' which was just a mix of the cheapest available ketchup and those like liquid cheeses that come in a bottle at fast food places."
"Other than that, the burger had tomato, arugula, and burnt cheddar cheese. I really, REALLY, cannot overstate how bad it was."
"The worst thing is that this wasn't a one off with the restaurant. We were a group of five and we all ordered a burger (there were like three things on the menu), and they all came out the same. We left."
When Mom Was Outdisgusted go away GIFGiphy
"There was a week where my mom was out so my dad had to cook for my brother and I. His first day he made chili."
"By chili I mean that he browned some beef, threw it in a pot with water and added one single packet of chili seasoning to the water and served it to us."
"We had frozen pizza the rest of the week."
Moms CookingSchitts Creek No GIF by CBCGiphy
"My ex mother-in-laws meatloaf."
"She literally just pressed ground beef into a square baking pan and threw it in the oven. Zero spices. Zero anything but hot ground beef."
"She also made 'baked spaghetti' which was her take on baked ziti. It was cooked spaghetti noodles with plain tomato sauce in a pan and baked."
"She was so terrified of the 'negative health effects' of salt that she grew to fear ALL spices. Her cabinets and fridge were filled with everything reduced sodium, fat free, sugar free, etc."
"Her cooking made me realize why I had to twist my ex's arm to try REAL meatloaf and baked ziti the way it's supposed to be made. She had no idea what she was doing in the kitchen."
That French FlanMelissa Barrera Eating GIF by VidaGiphy
"I was in France and stopped by a place in Paris."
"I had been travelling for several months and missed Mexican food. When the owner found out I was Mexican, she insisted I try the flan she just made as a first attempt."
"The food was pretty alright, not like home but it hit the spot. She brought out the flan and stood there expectantly waiting for my response."
"It was absolutely the worst flan I had ever had in my life."
"Like it just tasted BAD. Like eggs that were off? Flan is a custard and the temperature line between custard and sweetened scrambled eggs is a fine one."
"I couldn't hide my reaction and she became visibly upset. I ate a little more to be polite but just couldn't anymore."
"I told her I'm just very picky and suggested a few things as I had worked in a bakery that had made some in the past (aside from family recipes). I gave her my contact info and a few weeks later got an email thanking me."
"A group of Mexican musicians came through and told her while it wasn't traditional, it was very tasty and had a good texture."
"She said any time I was back to please stop by for a meal on the house. Unfortunately, the next time I was back the place had closed down."
Wiggling Away...Cake Shaking GIF by Miss PettyGiphy
"Lots of my family still thinks aspics are a necessity for family dinners, so there'll usually be a variety of jellied salads. Tomato salad, shredded cabbage salad, usually some kind of weird olive and hard boiled egg combo for some reason."
"All sitting on their plates, perfectly rectangular, wiggling away..."
"People in the 50s and 60s put EVERYTHING in gelatin. I’m pretty sure there’s a recipe out there for roast chicken jello."
"Because way way back before gelatin came in a packet, it was really time consuming to extract it from bones. Aspic was seen as a kind of status symbol, as well as a creative and colourful thing to make for parties."
"And then when it did come in a packet in the 50s and 60s, there was a huge drive to try and market something which was essentially a biproduct of the meat industry as a food staple."
"One of my ex girlfriend's grandmothers had the whole family over for dinner one night. She cooked spaghetti."
"My ex's mom pulled me aside and warned me that it would be terrible. Not just bad. Terrible."
"Boy, was she right."
"Her grandmother boiled water, put in the noodles, DID NOT DRAIN THE WATER, and then dumped some salt, pepper, and KETCHUP into the pot and served it. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom so I could dry heave over the toilet."
A Redemption Arcjames franco sandwich GIFGiphy
"This one has a redemption arc."
"My then-girlfriend brought some leftover Ethiopian food and kept talking about how awesome it was and had me try some injera (like a giant sourdough pancake) after she reheated everything."
"It was absolutely revolting. Dry and brittle and weirdly grainy and the wrong side of chewy. Seriously the worst thing I had ever had in my life."
"Fast-forward about a month and we go to that restaurant. I wasn't excited, but whatever. I figure there has to be good stuff and I can avoid the injera bread pancake disaster, right?"
"The staff there tells me the injera is your UTENSIL. You're supposed to tear off bits and use it to pick up your food with."
"You're not supposed to eat it by itself, it's purposefully flavorless. They also say never put it in a fridge or microwave it; at which point my girlfriend stared at the table mournfully as she had served it like that."
"The order arrives and I take a breath, pick up some red lentils with the injera expecting that same dry brittle grainy weirdness ... and I discovered my death row meal, folks."
"It's the greatest food on the planet. The fresh injera tastes amazing and only highlights everything you pick up with it! Gored gored (beef pan roasted in berbere that's super spicy and amazing), injera, and red lentils are now the best food I've ever tasted in my life!"
"If you're ever in Memphis, go to Abyssinia on Poplar. Try the red lentils."
This Old Mans Recommendationgross vomit GIFGiphy
"My dad was finishing our basement in our old house, and he had an elderly man from our old church helping him out with hanging the drywall, electrical wiring, that kind of thing."
"Well, this old geezer knew my family liked beef heart (side note: beef heart is delicious, but you have to be ready for the ventricles - they can be a bit weird to chew on if you don't cut them out of the piece of meat that you're eating), so he says we are gonna love kidneys."
"My dad always loved liver, so he just assumed it would be something similar."
"NOT. EVEN. F*CKING. CLOSE."
"My dad did everything he could to spice this rancid meat up and make it not taste like pure, unadulterated sadness. Nothing worked - it smelled like piss, the house reeked of it for weeks after."
"My dad refused to even try it, my mom took a bite and spat it out, and then they made my brother and I eat a bite. I can still smell that stench..."
"So anyway, we end up ordering pizza and that old fart sat down and ate an entire pound of that acrid organ. Mind you, this is the same old man that would eat bulbs of garlic like they were f*cking apples in the middle of church, so I don't know why that wasn't a red flag right from the start to my parents."
That Last SentenceSeason 7 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"In High School I got pizza from the pizza shack in the lunch area. The pizza was soggy as hell from the grease. Upon taking a bite, it tasted like alcohol."
"The bread had fermented."
"That last sentence was like a punch to the gut. Wtf"
"I think I tasted this comment 🤢"
Turtle TeaSipping Kermit The Frog GIFGiphy
"I lived in China for a while. My employer took we to an extremely fancy restaurant once, one that was apparently listed as one of the 'eight treasures of Chinese cuisine' by the CCP."
"It specialized in accurate recipes from a period that, if I recall correctly, was about 700 years old. They were ... intense."
"They served a tea that was basically just a baby turtle boiled in water and served, turtle and all."
"Beyond the unpleasantness of opening your little cup and finding a whole boiled baby turtle, it tasted like week old gym socks."
Alright, you've made it through Reddit's horror stories, it's your turn.
What have you eaten that you seriously wish you could un-eat? Do you actually like any of the things listed here?
Share your thoughts in the comments.
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Secrets, we all have them. Some will be spilled over time and some will go to the grave.
Mine are going to the grave. Just in case you were waiting for a truth sharing moment, there it is.
Others often feel the need to shed their secrets. Secrets can weigh on you.
So every once in awhile people start letting loose, because it's the only way to free yourself.
That's why you get a therapist, to share the most shocking, intimate details of your life. To spill and be free.
Or... naturally, you come to Reddit.
Redditor General-Pea2016 wanted see who would be willing to spill some tea about life, they asked:
"What have you never told anyone?"
I am a keeper of secrets. Not a spiller. Unless of course a there is a jug of top shelf cosmos around. Then we may have trouble.
“wedding”Episode 12 Wedding GIF by FriendsGiphy
"No one, and I mean absolutely no one (aside from my wife) who attended my “wedding” knew that it was actually our one year anniversary party." ~ Reddit
"I had this lucky streak as a kid...s mall stuff usually, like free 20oz on a soda cap. My mom and I didn't have a great relationship (not bad, just distant because my sister died) but she was always super excited about it. So when it hadn't happened for a while, I started creating situations to keep her attention." ~ SyninHex
"I grew up raised by my grandfather, when I was 21 he had a stroke. I called 911 and practically drove behind the ambulance the entire way to the hospital I ended up stayed with him there for 2 days while his kids flew from across the country to see him. I remember him laying there as I held his hand, he kept saying my name over and over again, and he just passed like that sometime in the night, I never told my uncles or aunts exactly what happened, it was just to surreal for me." ~ Echob0_
"That I'm very lost in life and don't know what to do, like in a point of where I have free time I don't do anything productive just lay in my bed for hours. Sometimes at night thinking whether I'm going down the right path, or am I doing things right, or just thinking about how my closest friends n family will react if I just end it one day. But that won't happen since I'm too afraid to do it." ~ Error_Code505
Steveyacht rock GIFGiphy
"I like the song 'Oh Sherrie' by Steve Perry un-ironically, and when I watched the music video for the first time in years a few years ago, I cried. I don't know why, maybe it was the nostalgia (I was a kid in the 80s)." ~ napalmnacey
Such scandal. And such innocence. I was waiting for tragedy and mayhem. Let's see...
DiagnosisTeddy Bear Hug GIFGiphy
"That I’m pretty sure I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and as I get older (especially this past year) I see signs that I may be incapable of being happy." ~ Giveushealthcare
"Back in high school, my friends and I had a secret alcohol stash in the woods. They pissed me off one day, so I took the stuff I wanted to drink for myself. They later discovered the best stuff was gone and they never suspected it was me. They thought a parent or sibling had found out and almost gave away their own secret trying to find who did it. It was entertaining for sure for me." ~ TeenageDream1234
Thanks for listening...
"I never got over the trauma of a bad relationship 17 years ago. It has negatively impacted every aspect of my life and although I’ve seemingly bounced back a very long time ago. Anyone that knows me would be shocked at the level of despair and depression I’ve been in for years."
"No one would ever know everything looks good on the outside. At this point I can barely remember much about the guy — yet I feel like he defines my entire adult life. I’m stuck on the loss of what could’ve been. It has nothing to do even do with him at this point, it’s more of what he represented. Time I will never get back, mistakes I’ve made."
"I beat myself up over the time I lost, the opportunities I missed and for not being able to just pick myself up and fully move on. It’s very painful to face wasted time and yet to continue not to live in the moment. And the years decades of hiding and pretending like all is well is maddening. The pandemic has made me face this head on and it hasn’t been pretty being alone with my thoughts. Thanks for listening." ~ Due-Time-8151
"That I had the biggest crush on my best friend back during high school and about a year after or so. I’m pretty sure she’s connected the dots ever since I told her and my close group of friends that I’m bi, but we’ve never discussed it and I hope we never do. It’d just be kinda awkward and there’s no point doing so." ~ good-ol-beat
StayGIF by Leroy PattersonGiphy
"If my ex husband had only said once 'I love you and I don’t want to break up, let’s work on it,' I would have stayed married." ~ landofmold
Don't harbor shame. Shame is not a secret to hold. If you need help don't be afraid to ask. You're not alone. And tell the truth about love.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Sometimes it's time to stop the world for a few minutes, relax, and unwind. Slip into a warm bath or have a nice glass of wine on the side to really drive that comfort and relaxation home.
We work ourselves to death most days without any acknowledgment for the absolute limit to which we are pushing our bodies. With the world constantly swirling around us as this happens, it can feel a little like there is no respite.
That's why we need to learn things that really comfort us. About the world, about other people, whatever. We need some comfort to take so that we can bring some stillness into our crazy world.
Redditor lofisky asked:
"What are some very comforting facts?"
Here were some of those answers.
Thanks For Not Hating Me
"That dogs usually understand that you stepping on their tail is an accident."-CyanBlue78
"I hope so, since they’re always underfoot when cooking."
"Our prior dog was a chihuahua who lived to be 16, and no matter how many times he got stepped on would still stay underfoot when cooking."
"He must have figured the benefit of getting a scrap of food that wasn’t a vegetable was worth the risk."-EmperorPenguinNJ
Oh Well The Country Will Survive, So *Phew*
"Scientists highly doubt that yellowstone will ever have another supereruption. In fact, it's unclear if it even has enough magma beneath its caldera to erupt again at all, let alone have a supereruption."-thecyriousone
"That's good to know because this was a weird fear of mine as a kid, despite living no where close to Yellowstone and having never visited it."-BlackbirdKnowsAll
Use What Ya Got
"Sesame Street writes real life events into their plot lines a lot. For example when one of the actors died, they killed off his character and had an episode to teach kids about grief."
"One of the child actresses quit so she could go to college, and they had her character do the same and had a going away party for her on the show itself. It’s kind of heartwarming."
"Also Sesame Street has been on air for so long that there was an episode about that character’s mom being pregnant. The actress’s childhood was basically a wholesome version of the Truman Show."-Savitribaii
Do you already feel some of the tension beginning to lift out of your body?
"A study with rats showed that empathy is a shared trait among mammals. When two rats were tested with one being stuck in a plastic trap, the other rat usually became distressed and freed it really quickly."
"'The rescuers did not seem to have an ulterior motive for freeing their trapped cage-mate: they continued to do so even when the experimental set-up was changed so that the two rats would not be able to benefit from touching and interacting after the liberation.'"
"'Moreover, the plaintive calls of the trapped rat were too infrequent to suggest that the free rat acted simply to get some peace and quiet.'"
"They also did another test where the rat could choose between chocolate or freeing their trapped companion, they would free the trapped rat AND share some of the chocolate with them."
"'Most surprisingly, says Bartal, although the liberator could choose to eat all the chocolate before freeing their cage-mate, they were more likely to share.'"
"'“They were very generous. It is really impressive for rats,” says Bartal. “It would be impressive for people too.”'"
Great Now Let's Get Rid Of It
"In 1820, 94% of the world's population lived in extreme poverty. In 1990, 34.8%, and in 2015, just 9.6%. Within the last 100 years we've almost eradicated extreme poverty."
"Absolutely insane to think how long humans have lived on this planet and just how far we've come in the last 100 years."-PainAndAbel
Dyin' Ain't So Bad
"I’m sure it varies by person, but I went into brief cardiac arrest, and it was similar to falling asleep. When I came to, it was more 'that was it?' than anything."
"I did make some pretty significant changes in diet and exercise afterward. I even lost about 40 lbs! But the truth is there wasn’t any of the grand catharsis you see in movies."
"Even though I gained a change in perspective, there was no instant improvement in character or huge jump in maturity. It was more of a nudge in the right direction rather than a shove into the light."
"The experience is much more mundane than you’d think, but that’s the reason I believe it was so impactful. I didn’t stress about work as much."
"I didn’t worry about how people perceived me as much. Because I saw how it all ends, and it’s nothing to lose sleep over. So now after 2 years of progress, I don’t really lose sleep over anything. It’s nice."-FrostedBanner
Made Of Starstuff
"You are entirely composed of things that were forged in the bellies of long dead stars. It took billions of years to make the basic blocks from which you are built."
"You are not a passenger in this great universe, you are a reflection of its awesome, immeasurable, infinite possibilities."-The_Squiggy
A sigh of relief is already forming in your guts as you read each fact.
Ignorance And Want
"Overall, we humans are living in the most peaceful, most advanced, most rich world we have ever known."
"Of course there are pockets of violence, ignorance and want. The rest of us can use our gifts to help those in need. Don't give in to the merchants of despair."-Mokurai
More Positivity Needed
"Data has shown that, statistically speaking, crime is trending down. Studies have also shown that negative events stick out more to the human psyche because, evolutionarily speaking, that can help you survive."
"Sure, remembering the cute butterflies 50k years ago might have been pleasant to your ancestors. But is as useful as remembering that their friend got eaten by a bear that lived near that butterfly?"
"So while the world seems like it’s going to sh*t, that’s only because evolution has crafted your brain to remember negative events more prominently."
"And because of the rise of the 24/7, worldwide news cycle that brings you all of the terrible things happening across the planet in nearly real-time. The world is slowly but surely improving, little by little and day by day."-modsareflaccid
"My pet fish have a bedtime. To further explain, fish, like most animals, have a circadian rhythm. This means they generally need to sleep and be awake at around the same times every day."
"I see this quite easily in my fish tank because when I turn the lights off in the tank and room then come back 30 minutes later, the fish have fallen asleep."
"It is easiest to see in my neon tetras. Normally they are bright orange and blue and they are super active. But when they sleep they become almost transparent and they will sort of hover in the same spot."
"Eventually if I leave the light on enough they wake up but because I want them to be comfortable, I try to keep the lights off once they go to bed."-ET318
Perhaps the most comforting bit about all these facts? They quite literally keep the world running. So they're not just comforting, they're also necessary.
The world needs comfort to function.
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Everyone has an opinion and apparently that opinion is golden advice. (Two different things)
You can give opinions, but know what you're saying and sharing.
Advice is more... heavy. It's definitive.
So beware and take "advice" with a grain of salt.
Redditor PsychedelicAirFusion wanted to hear about the times other people should've just stayed quiet with their opinions, by asking:
"What's the worst advice you have received?"
I try to just give my thoughts. I always preface... "I just think," and then I alone own it. And if they don't agree, then no one is hurt. We can't live each other's lives.
Pain Managementhead feels GIFGiphy
"Surgeon - The pains I’m feeling are normal and he doesn’t need to see me until a follow up 6 months later and I can have my staples removed at any health clinic. I almost died from sepsis. It took 12 weeks to recover from this." ~ Valen258
Not the Fix
"Talking to a friend about some normal relationship problems, college age boyfriend-girlfriend, and she suggested getting pregnant to fix it and win all the arguments. (By way of poking holes in condoms after I said we weren’t into trying for a baby and he’s adamantly anti-child). She had a baby at 16 and I never judge anyone for having a kid that young, but I have an inkling of why and how she did it now. Also, after that red flag we did not remain friends." ~ saturnspritr
National Park visitors Center...
"Best and worst from same person. Wife and I hiked from our campsite to National Park visitors Center. It took us almost 2 hours with temperatures in high 90s F (30+ C). We saw no other hikers because no one else was that stupid. We were exhausted. Park Ranger told us we should always bring snacks (nuts, fruit etc) as water is not enough. That was good advice. Then suggested that I hike back on my own to get the car and return for my wife! Bad advice." ~ antmakka
"Don't study Computer Sciences. Everybody will do it, the market will be saturated and you will have a tough time finding a job." (my parents around 2010)." ~ CrystalButcher
"Ha! I got pretty much the same advice, but it was 'don't do computer programming; you're too personable. You should do sales."'
"It probably set me back 10 years doing sales jobs I hated until I got back into software development. Not sure why I listened to those people." ~ JohnBarnson
Know your worth...The Office Boss GIFGiphy
"Never ask for a raise. Your supervisor should be able to see if you are working hard and give you a raise when the time is right. SMH." ~ julianned32
See there? A lot of ruin. You don't have to take advice. Oh my... that is good advice.
WTF?Season 3 What GIF by On My BlockGiphy
“Just down a bottle of vodka and punch yourself in the stomach” - a friend when I thought I was pregnant." ~ Space-cash
"Don't do something if you're not good at it. Listen kid, that is so wrong you don't even know." ~ subscribe_for_facts
"Having perfectionist parents I was basically raised to believe this. I'm in my mid twenties and trying so hard to break out of it. It's given me a lot of resentment towards my parents for never letting me learn to do things I wasn't immediately good at or just trying new things in general." ~ Chanmanklein
“turbo boosters engaged”
"A friend told me that if I fart during sex, I could save face by saying 'turbo boosters engaged' and then pound faster and harder. Once I started having sex I realized how normal noises are and I stopped caring. But I guess he was just trying to be a bro." ~ Christophisatitagain
"Noises sure but don't fart on them during." ~ CaptainHindsight92
"When I went to college on the Pell grant, which basically covered the tuition for each semester and there was an extra $1000 left over for books and whatnot. Also available to me was a $5000 loan each semester, which I didn't need. After the first year, my father said "'take the loans too, if you get a civil service job, you can have the loans forgiven.' Fast forward 15 years and I still have $25K worth of student loans I never needed to take. :( " ~ odenwalder1
"My mom was persuaded"
"I was told by a guidance counselor as an incoming freshman (who didn't know me from anyone else, by the way) that taking more than one honors course plus being in band was too much. My mom was persuaded. I had to fight both of them to ignore the advice."
"I ended up taking every honors and AP course possible throughout high school, finishing with a perfect 4.0 GPA, then doing the same in college. Don't take advice on what you should or shouldn't do from someone who doesn't know you. Always take into account your personal strengths and weaknesses when considering any advice in life." ~ Kooky_Finding8516
MedsSeason 2 Nbc GIF by New AmsterdamGiphy
"‘Don’t go on meds, just exercise’ for depression. Meds ended up practically saving my life." ~ Introvertedpanda3
Let's all try to just live our best lives. That is not an easy mission.
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