Theme Park Employees Divulge Cool Secrets About Where They Work
Pexels / Reddit
If you're anything like us, there's a good chance you've been to a theme park and found yourself lost in the wonder. At least we hope that's been your experience, but we've all seen the movies and heard the rumors about what goes on behind the scenes. Are there cool hidden gems? Is there a dark side to the magic? One reddit user got curious riding that train of thought and asked:
Theme Park employees, what are some cool secrets about your workplace?
1. Explosions At The Water Park:
I worked at a small amusement park in Maine for a summer. Basic stuff; teacups, log flume, pirate ship, antique cars, go carts, a wooden rollercoaster that was #10 in the world for a few years. Some of the jobs were horrid, others weren't so bad.
One of the worst jobs was called "Tower." If you saw your name listed next to "Tower," you knew that you were in for 8 hours sitting at the top of the log flume slide, watching people make fools of themselves. I really never minded it - they let me bring a notebook and a pen, so I would write basically all day (it was during my "productive" period).
I was assigned to tower at the beginning of a shift and was walking from the employee area to the log flume when I suddenly heard a loud BOOM. My radio lit up and everyone with one was told "Get to flume NOW!" We all went running.
Apparently, the pump for the flume had exploded, stranding people on the belt going up the slide, one cart was literally stuck at the end of the slide, and carts were backing up at the start of the belt and sinking, with people in them. It was awesome chaos. The pump was smoking, the tower swaying madly, people freaking out everywhere, children crying....
2. Cedar Point Secret Time!
Some Cedar Point "Secrets" - Some of these are from friends who have worked around the park.
You probably already knew this... but that $3.50 bottle of soda is $1.00 two steps behind an employee gate. Same goes for most of the food in the cafeteria.
On most of the larger attractions and rides, we have a system of signals and gestures to make fun of you behind your back. It keeps the long, repetitive and HOT day somewhat interesting.
Never, ever, EVER will we tell you what is wrong with a ride. Also, we'll never tell you when it's going to be up. The only differentiation we can make is if we're told its going to be a multiple hour fix. At that point.... "we anticipate a lengthy delay." Yup, we usually know what is wrong and how long it's going to take.
Employee Dorms could probably double for a gay male brothel.
Many times we're instructed to take cars off of a coaster simply because of attendance numbers. (They don't tell us that officially...) Simply no need to have 3/3 cars on the track when the park is at 50% capacity. Yep, that makes lines longer... sorry!
It's fun to watch you flash the ride cameras. We block the pictures on the monitors but can still see them behind the counter. We can also unblock them.
3. All This Disney Dirt:
I work a part time job at Disneyland as a "Gibson girl" ( person who works at the Gibson Girl ice cream shop, cokes corner, cone shop...basically any quick service place in Mainstreet) and have found out a lot of things.
The rumor about there being a basketball court inside Matterhorn Mountain is false but not entirely false. While there isn't a big basketball court, there is a basketball hoop that is downstairs that employees who performe/d maintenance on the ride sometimes use when on break.
Never get soda from the cone shop (don't ask...)
We have accidents of all sorts on a daily basis and the only time something will get on the news is when someone dies or is injured severely on a ride (on Monday, a lady had a heart attack riding its a small world..)
The rides employees hate working are Its a Small World, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Roger Rabbit. Why? Because they're rather creepy...and back in the 70's an employee died at the America Sings attraction and everyone nowadays says that it happened at "Its a Small World". She was crushed between two revolving doors that separated the backstage area from the front stage..(the doors were removed after the incident)
Someone was dragged under the tea cups once (they survived)
4. Big Head? Big Problem.
It's really hard to sign the autographs in some of the costumes.
In some of the characters you look through the mouth, but have to act like you're looking with the eyes of the character, which means most of their head is above your own. The heads can be really fricken heavy and stuffy. Lilo was the worst, plus the water parks are really humid. I almost passed out.
CPs at Disneyworld get free gatorade. It's the yellow kind...
Every Disney Prince I met was a gay man.
Getting free park entrace was the best part of working there. The pay was the worst.
If you see a character rub their eye, it means they need to go backstage because they're going to pass out, feel sick, or are having some sort of costume malfunction. I had to do this twice as Lilo because that costume was fricken terrible.
5. Wait, You Have To Push The Roller Coaster?
I used to work at a place called Camelot Theme Park, it's a modest place in the northwest of England. It was also my first job. I was rides operator, but worked in what they called "section 1" which was the part of the park with all the kids rides. Years before worked there, some employee was apparently killed after being hit by a rollercoaster during safety checks, but I'm not sure how much of that is myth.
Anyway, relating to the "how things work" bit in this question, there was a ride there that had been around since it opened in the mid-eighties known as the caterpillar/apple ride. The cart train was modeled on a giant caterpillar and it went through a big red apple halfway around the track. It was aimed at toddlers and small kids really, but by god it was the most primitive roller coaster I've ever seen. Apart from the chain that pulled it up to the top of the main dip, it ran completely on gravity, and to start the ride you released the breaks (which were clamps on the tracks, not the cart itself) and literally had to push it out of the station. If you didn't push it hard enough it would slow down and stop before the foot of the hill and you'd have to call maintenance to get the stranded people out. My first day operating the ride, the breaks were faulty. It was only meant to go round the track twice: I ended up making it go round 15 times.
Up next, apparently taller people are more intelligent?
6. Muggles, Magic and Maybe Criminal Charges?
Here are some "secrets" from The Wizarding World of Harry Potter:
The costumes worn by the Team Members were designed by Potter costume designer Jany Temime.
Some of the Hogwarts costumes worn by TMs working Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey were actually used in the films and worn by extras.
TMs working Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey are sorted into houses based on their height. Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor then Ravenclaws are the tallest.
Universal Operations, Merchandise and Food Service TMs may usually wear their work wardrobe home. However, the Wizarding World wardrobe items are the only wardrobe items that these TMs may NOT take home. TMs caught doing so will be immediately terminated and may face criminal charges (for theft and IP theft) if they do so.
After The Three Broomsticks Restaurant was designed, the real film set was altered to more closely resemble the theme park restaurant.
The male dress robes seen in the Gladrags Wizarding Wear storefront are the same ones worn by Daniel Radcliff in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. The female dress robes are an exact replica of the ones worn by Emma Watson in the same film.
The TMs who work in that area are encouraged to act "in character" -- but they may NOT say ANYTHING that would "add to the Harry Potter story". For example, they may not say they know Harry, Dumbledore, or any of the characters -- or say what those characters may or may not like or do. For example, if you see a little girl with a stuffed cat, you can say "I like your kitty! I have a kitty like that at home!" You may not say "Oh, I'll bet Hermione would like your kitty!"
7. Busch. Gardens. Is. Not. Disney.
Busch Gardens. No, we're not owned by Disney. No, your Disney passes will not work here. No, not Universal either. Do your tickets say Busch Gardens on them? No? Then please buy a ticket. No, you may not get in for free because you have Disney passes. Also, no. Go ahead and cry all you want, I'm the one sitting in the AC.
8. Cheeky Chipmunks
I didn't work at a theme park but my high school English teacher worked for Disneyland while he was in college and told us stories a lot. He said Chip and Dale were the most disgusting guys ever and would have contests to see who could grope the most MILFs in a day.
9. Oh, Eww.
I worked for a long time at Santa's Village in Sky Forest, California. It's closed now, but it was pretty famous to southern Californians at the time.
There was a dead rat in the nacho machine (under the metal slope that holds the chips) at the Pixie Pantry for at least a year. We had dead rats pretty much everywhere, just out of sight.
The deep fryer oil in the Pixie Pantry was never changed. The insects were just scooped out with a mesh spoon.
All the burgers were cooked in the morning, and kept in a bucket of water until someone ordered one.
Most of the order fresh food vendors were clean enough.
Santa Claus was a huge chain smoker. He smelt horrible.
The bee monorail was known to catch on fire... the bobsled coaster derailed at least once, sending the riders to the hospital. We had a similar accident with the horse-drawn carriage. I don't think any ride operators were actually trained for emergencies.
Kids puke. A lot. You probably already knew that.
10. That's Got To Be A Confidence Shaker.
The auditions for characters are TOUGH. To be a face character, they line you up and analyze your bone structure before they do anything else. If your figure, height and bone structure aren't right, you don't even get to go any further in the audition. It's fun though :3 Plus the underground passages in the main park (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about) are pretty awesome, but can be creepy. They aren't all bright and colorful, it's a tunnel system, not an attraction. My childhood nearly fell to pieces when I saw a bench with my favorite characters' heads all lined up in a row on it.
Click next to find out where the life guards suck at guarding lives.
11. We Can Save Your Money, But Probably Not Your Life
I worked last summer for Valleyfair, a park in Minnesota owned by the people who own Cedar Fair. These aren't as cool as the disneyworld ones, but I have a few:
Behind the Renegade coaster is an original Edsel Ranger sitting on a grassy hill. I don't know what it's for and no one there I asked seems to know either.
Buy a season pass. As of last year parking is included, and they cost $60 at the beginning of the season. Regular admission is $48 and parking is $10.
Our lifeguards are completely incompetent. They get audited randomly throughout the season, where the company stages an emergency and the guards have to save someone. Almost all of them fail and have to go through training again.
People lose a ton of money on rides. I worked in Park Services (park cleanup) and once found $28 in a day just in bills dropped from a roller coaster.
12. EMPLOYEES CAN BUY THE CARNIVAL PRIZES!?!
Spent a summer working games at Hersheypark. Not the most exciting things to be learned but here we go:
All of the popular games have cameras installed in them. That means Ring Toss. Ring Toss as 4 cameras. It's because if the attendant gets distracted and a ring lands on the outer two ring of bottles, you have to call it in. People notoriously have little kids lean over and just place it and try and guilt the attendant into giving away big ass bears
When you play Wacky/Winding Wires, by July, all of the new employees can beat that game, does not mean we will bend the rules if we hear that annoying buzzer, but it also doesn't mean we can't tell you which game station has a smaller ring or larger ring. It can make a large difference.
Every year, 1% of all profits from Hersheypark and Hershey's chocolate goes to the Milton Hershey School, which was originally a school for orphans, but will now also help kids whose parents can't afford to send them to school. This means the school will never go bankrupt. Ever. That school is worth over a billion dollars.
If you live somewhere CLOSE to Hersheypark, make friends with the employees, they get 2 free tickets per paycheck, 15% off everything in the park, and 25% off everything in Chocolate World. This means make friends with an employee, give them your money and make them buy your chocolate for you.
Employees can BUY the prizes in the game stalls (I know you're thinking 'Who'd buy a shitty ass dolphin that costs less then a nickle to makes?') but bitches LOVE giant ass teddy bears as big as them and they make great birthday gifts. Does not mean we can buy them for GUESTS. This can get us fired.
13. No Sexytime On The Skyride
Disability passes available at guest services are free, and allow you to wait the time of a line anywhere you please. Make sure you tell them you have some form of autism, and no broken bones. You can put up to 6 people on that pass with you. Take it to the ride attendant and they'll give you a pass for x amount of minutes. Come back after those minutes, and you go straight to the front of the line.
Working the Howl-o-Scream events are more fun than you can possibly imagine, if you want to make a quick $1000 in a month and sacrifice all your weekends in October. Be prepared to have some injuries from repetitive motions, and be prepared to be cursed at, hit, and spat on.
The seats in the middle of rows 5 and 6 on Montu are meant for heavier set people.
The drivers at Rhino Rally are actually driving those trucks. No, they are not on tracks. We go through hours and hours and hours of training and observation to be able to drive those enormous rovers. Yes, sometimes the Rhinos do charge towards the trucks. It's nothing to be scared about, though.
You can get small ticket discounts for friends with a Fun Card.
If you need to eat in the theme park, go to the Zambia Smokehouse. More bang for your buck. Order your drinks without ice, you'll get double the amount.
If you come to guest services complaining about how it's raining on a day that was forecast for a hurricane, we will not be sympathetic. Please read the weather forecast before you come to a theme park.
When you are perched 200 feet up on Sheikra, waiting for that drop, you are being held up there by a small, tiny latch of metal.
If you're going to be at the park all day and you want a drink/snack, shell out for the souvenir cup/bucket. Refills are absolutely dirt cheap.
Whenever you buy anything in the park, just ask the shop/vendor, and they'll send it to guest services at the front so you can pick it up later. Free.
If you go to Jungala early enough in the morning and hang around the white tigers for a bit, you may have a chance to play tug of war with one of them.
In the mid morning on a slow-ish day, you can pay for regular parking, then just drive into the preferred parking lot to park. Noone checks. Also, if you get to the park about an hour and a half to closing, the toll booths usually aren't manned.
Half the time that you're on Montu, most of the mechanism isn't touching the track; just a couple guiding ball bearings.
Unless you're there in the summer at night, don't try to do anything stupid on the skyride; there are cameras everywhere, with no blind spots.
14. Arms Over The Chest From Now On.
Being from Orlando, I have worked all the theme parks. Since this thread is overwhelmed with disney facts, I will instead tell you something about my employment with Wet N Wild. If an attractive (large busted) woman was at the top of the slide the guy working at the bottom of the ride would give the secret "boob signal" for the lifeguard up top. This was code for the lifeguard to send her down the slide with her hands interlocked behind her head instead of her arms folded across her chest. If a persons arms are folded across the chest this method prevents wandrobe malfunctions, which is a reason why it is the policy to do so, because when the hands are interlocked behind the head it prevents the said female from covering her escaping breasts. It goes without saying that this lead to optimal boobage for the lifeguard waiting below. Oh, to reminisce on those scenes, me gawking at those helpless girls through my mirrored sunglasses as they failed to realize that their bosom was exposed for all to see. In retrospect this may have been an inappropriate use of power...
EDIT: It is also worth noting that when purchasing sunglasses for lifeguarding, the ideal pair will have dark lenses, thus allowing your eyes to wander upon the exposed breasts completely unnoticed. This was another very well known fact on the job.
15. Disney: Where No One Is Sober And The Christian Kids Get Lit.
I've seen a few Disneyland Cast Members post. I've worked in all 4 of the Disney World theme parks, and can answer any questions for them. Some cool tidbits you may or may not know.
*There is a room in Cinderella's castle that can be stayed in.
*When Tinkerbell fly's from Cinderella's castle, it's one of (when I worked there from 2004-2008) 3 different ones. One of whom is male.
*There are days when none of the cast members working the attraction you are on are sober (Depending on the attraction). INCLUDING THE COORDINATORS AND MANGERS.
*Cosmic Ray's Starlight Caf in Tomorrowland (Used to be at least) serve the most people per hour in America at any indoor fast food joint (during peak hours).
*When hurricanes and such happen, the cars you see on speedway's track are actually driven off the track and into the tunnels below magic kingdom for storage.
*Yes, the speedway cars have A.) Caught Fire B.) Jumped the track and been driven through a fence and round Toon Town. C.) Ran over people (no deaths, but one time, a kid got hit/arm ran over, the father grabbed him and ran, we had people looking for them all over the park. Eventually, he came back and demanded an ambulance (2-3 hours later!), so we did and it turns out the kid had a broken arm.) EDIT 1: I thought of a few other cool tidbits
*You can get your haircut at Magic Kingdom for a (relatively) reasonable rate! I think it's about $20 for adults and $15 for kids. Cast Members can get that done in the tunnels as well.
*Underneath Magic Kingdom is a Subway. Yes, the restaurant.
*The days when you get the worst behavior is actually Night of Joy (When the christian artists come to Disney) followed by Graduation Nights (high schools graduatation celebrations).
*Each area of the park has their own custom number codes. I think you guess which are standard and which are not :P
- 115: Jailbait
- 105: Hot person
- 104: Wheelchair party / Assistance
- 103: Break
- 102: Attraction's up
- 101: Attraction's down
*If you are fat, and can't get off Space Mountain fast enough, we'll hit a button and park the rocket you're in to the back area. There's multiple reasons we do this, First: It gives you time to get out on your own, Second: If our rockets back up and we get 4 at the unloading the station the ride trips and "E-Stops".
*Worst case of that was we had one really large guest and she got stuck. We had to have Reedy Creek (the Walt Disney World Fire Company) pull her out of the rocket using a movable crane and a large amount of Crisco.
*Disney World has it's own Fire Company, Water Works, and Power Company. Police are mostly local sheriffs.
*The town of Celebration used to be owned by Disney World. It wasn't until more recent times Disney sold it off.
The internet is so fascinating.
Thanks to YouTube and TikTok, so many hours can be spent lost in the world of video.
You pick a simple topic or name to check, and then it's tomorrow... and you've binged every army family reunion story.
And so much time to waste, depending on your keystroke choices.
Redditor imboredaa wanted to discuss all the ways so many of us get lost watching things on the internet, so they asked:
"What are some of the craziest/strangest rabbit holes you’ve ever been down?"
I constantly get lost on talent show audition rabbit holes.
And I am proud!
RestoredSerial Killer Chainsaw GIF by Rise RecordsGiphy
"YouTube videos of old chainsaw restorations. No idea why, but I guess that’s why it’s a rabbit hole. I don’t even own a chainsaw or have a need for one."
"I really enjoy going on a city’s Craigslist, then to 'rooms/shared' (or whatever it is for finding a room mate) and then typing words like 'warning' or 'beware' in the search to see what kind of horror show nightmare room mate scenarios people have decided to write about... it's usually some juicy headline like 'warning!!!'"
"Do NOT rent from this woman!!!! She is a PSYCHO!!….'"
"And after reading it, it’s always a guess to decide who is the actual crazy person, the landlord or tenant. Could be a bitter ex, tenant, or a scam, or whatever. But it’s an easy way to dive quick into some weird corners of the internet that are filled with drama."
After the Ice
"I spent a bunch of time about 12 years or so ago reading about all the details of the Titanic, how it sunk, what happened as it was sinking, who died, who survived. I got into the life stories of the people who died, and what became of the people who survived. And then I very nearly bought a piece of carpet from the Titanic."
"Andrée's Arctic balloon expedition"
"Dumb, then numb, a** thought he could fly a balloon to the North Pole. They had cyanide capsules and all, in case they crashed and were about to freeze to death. Or get eaten by a polar bear during a three month night. He and his assistants somehow managed to do both."
"Plot twist: Andree, the worst captain of all time, noticed the balloon was leaking the night before they were about to leave, pumped it up a bit, and said 'f**k it that'll do.' It did not do."
"An Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. Started with 1 and ended up with a 20+ collection."
"Uncle John's Bathroom Readers are so addictive."
Toilet time can be knowledge time.
Living Sky HighCity In The Sky Vfx GIF by PBSGiphy
"Turning old planes into houses! About 10 years ago I found a company that would do it for you. The wings were decks and the plane was mounted to a pedestal that allowed it to be rotate with the sun!"
"Mega tsunamis. Thousand foot walls of water moving at hundreds of mph? It happens more than you would think. The Azore-Gibraltar fault will cause one one day. There evidence they happened a few times in the Pacific. It doesn't take a meteor to happen, it could be an underwater landslide (Doggerland), or a large section of a volcanic island shearing off and falling into the ocean (Oahu). Doggerland is another rabbit hole that is worth googling."
Hitting the Keys
"Mechanical keyboards. I wanted to buy one, so I started researching and watching videos of reviews. I went deeper and deeper, seeing special cables, obscure companies, the tons of switches, etc etc."
"I stopped when a Youtuber I watched made a video asking her viewers and discord users to stop bullying and harassing her for using some kind of switches or keycaps. I bought my keyboard and never went back to that crazy fandom."
In the Sky
"I worked in administration at an aviation academy for a few years and decided I’d start listening to aviation podcasts since I didn’t know much about it. I came across a plane crash podcast that talks about crashes in history and how it improved the safety of flying."
"I was fascinated by it, and found myself gradually needing to know more and listening to more of the same type of podcasts, watching videos, and listening to black box recordings. It was eerie but interesting at the time. Now, I regret it tremendously because since then I’ve developed horrible anxiety when flying."
The Big Questionssteve harvey lol GIF by TV Land ClassicGiphy
"Spent a lot of time in the 'quantum consciousness' rabbit hole. I had just deconstructed from religion and wanted answers about life, death, and reality. It was long before I made peace with not knowing. I spent around a year obsessed with quantum experiments, psychedelics, and the general philosophy of consciousness."
Lives (and chores) can be put on serious hold when you find a juicy enough topic to research!
Well, what rabbit holes have you gotten lost in? Let us know in the comments below.
People Describe The Most F**ked Up Thing They've Ever Seen That Still Haunts Them
CW: Graphic imagery and accidents.
No one leaves this life without scars.
We witness so many awful things on a daily basis.
How could we not be followed by it all?
Messed up things are just part of the deal of living I guess.
One minute you're walking along on a bright sunny day, then boom, you're a witness to a murder.
Or some such craziness.
That's why I stay home a lot.
Redditor Who_Did_You_Expect1 wanted to hear about the things from our memories that still haunt our nightmares, so they asked:
"What's the most f--ked up thing you saw that still haunts you to this day?"
Living through peril is unimaginable. I've been luckier than most.
TragicSad Best Friends GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy
"I watched cancer kill my baby brother. He was in grade school when I was in college. 25 years, and I still see it in my dreams."
Ay Dios mio, Dios mio!
"When I was about 8, my sister and I were walking with my mom to a bus stop to see my grandma in Mexico city. There was a lady on a bike crossing the intersection that we had just crossed ourselves but she didn't stop in time to the next one and didn't look both ways, she didn't have time to stop her bike. All I remember is the lady making the beginning of a scream as a white old muscle car ran over her (bike and all) at a high speed."
" remember the sound it made as it broke everywhere. My mother took her sweater off as she screamed and covered both my sister's and my head from looking, but it was too late. I remember looking at my sister with tears in her eyes, and I was too shocked to react or comprehend what I had just seen happened. A lot of people immediately surrounded the place, and the driver came out of his car and held his head with his hands after seeing the lady on the pavement."
"I didn't look at the lady anymore. I remember hearing people screaming in shock. My mother told my dad later as she cried. I remember hearing her wake up screaming for weeks after this saying: ay Dios mio, Dios mio! Still makes my heart race when I think about it."
"I was a news photographer for a while in the 90’s. I got called out to an accident. A high school girl ran into the back of a semi. As I was shooting, I noticed her wallet was on the ground. It had a plastic picture holder and the wind was flipping back and forth. I saw her prom pictures and shots of her with her family."
"I quit being a news photographer shortly after. I never forgot that day, and it still haunts me."
"I saw the aftermath rather than the actual event. A woman was walking home from the grocery store late at night. She crossed the road without using the crosswalks and got hit by an SUV. The two images cemented in my mind are of her, embedded in the windshield, and the driver of the car standing a little ways down the street vomiting. I've never seen someone look so utterly broken as the way the driver looked. I can't imagine what he was going through."
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"When I was 16 I was in a car wreck with my best friend since 3rd grade. I pulled him from the car with a broken shoulder while he was bloody, lifeless, limp. He died within the hour, not long after the ambulance got us. It’s been 18 years and I still think about it every single day."
I couldn't imagine living with that.
I also couldn't move...
"Coming to after getting hit by a vehicle as a pedestrian. Was face down, all I could see was blood soaked road and thought 'f**k, that doesn't look good.' I also couldn't move. The last thing I remember seeing before that was the grill of the vehicle. I still get jumpy when I catch a vehicles grill out of the corner of my eye and I'm not expecting it to be there."
"I'd seen a lot of accidents prior to that, but something about it being my own blood hit different."
"And yes, I had the right of way and was crossing in the proper place, at the proper time. Driver plain a** wasn't paying attention. It was daylight to boot, so no reason they couldn't see me."
"I was volunteering with my k9 working with NYC emergency services and chief Patell during 911 WTC attacks. We were in the middle of where the twin towers used to stand The thick gray dust, horrible smell of burnt things and dead people was all around but when the dogs started to find bodies and body parts it really freaked me out and I will forever live with this reality that seems like a bad dream."
MissingConfused Wile E Coyote GIF by Looney TunesGiphy
"A family of four that had burned in a plane crash. I used to do a woodland search and rescue, and we saw a lot of wild crap, but I still have dreams about what I saw when we went to look for a missing plane."
Goodness life is dark sometimes.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down Obvious Signs To Tell If You Have Sexual Tension With Someone
Let's just be honest: the dating scene can be rough, especially when you're not sure if that person likes you back or not.
Some people, however, are very comfortable with their dating histories and believe there's a certain "cheat code" to confirming if someone is interested.
But for those of us who have always been bad at flirting and consider ourselves "oblivious" to other people's advances and compliments, maybe there could be some hope for us after all with these tips.
Redditor Independent_Slide932 asked:
"What are signs that there's sexual tension between you and someone?"
Their Undivided Attention
"It's serious eye contact for me, like when they would rather admire you than look anywhere else. It just makes it so obvious."
"For me, it's not just the eye contact itself, but when the eye contact is made, the two of you are in your own little world. There’s communication happening in that eye contact that you aren’t having with other people."
The Thrill of the 'Chase'
"To answer the actual question OP asked, it’s finding reasons for eye contact."
"It’s 'accidentally' making physical contact. It’s always ending up sitting next to each other in a group."
"It’s a tingly tight feeling in your guts."
"It’s a beautiful pain to experience. It’s almost more fun than actually 'getting' the other person."
Literal Physical Attraction
"Angling. Always feeling like your center of gravity is shifting towards them."
Interested or Not?
"There's a regular who comes into my work who makes serious serious 'seductive' eye contact with me and has a smile that looks flirty."
"But he's also hot as f**k. He's just incredibly attractive. So like, just because it's making me turn to jelly doesn't mean it's anything other than just being friendly and having a regular smile to him."
It is, Indeed, ...Tense
"It's that awkward, 'I want to f**k this person, and I'm pretty sure this person wants to f**k me, but I'm not sure enough about it to actually make a move.'"
"That's sexual tension."
"It can manifest in a lot of ways. Usually, sexual tension develops when two people are attracted to somewhat attracted to each other. The funny part is, sometimes they aren't even fully conscious of it, or want to acknowledge it."
"That is where the tension lies. There is a reason why both are not participating in healthily acknowledging attraction for each other. It can look like tense awkwardness, constant fighting, overt flirtatiousness without any progression, and even consciously ignoring/avoiding the other person."
"It's a shared gaze that at once leaves you both relaxed and on edge. It's like being old friends with a stranger."
"It's like an inside joke that isn't funny, it's sexy. I mean, it could be funny or sexy, but you see what I mean, it's a common understanding."
"It's like, 'You've got a secret, and I know it, and I've got a secret, and you know it, and the secret is the same thing, and we both know it, and it's so f**king delicious that we both know that without discussing it. The secret is nothing and everything, it's the knowing and sharing and the edging that is wonderful."
"It is something that is involuntary, but also once you've experienced it (enough), you can put yourself in that mode, make eye contact with a sexy stranger, and they may respond positively. It won't be as good as spontaneous mutual attraction, but you can put the signals out, 'Hey, I dig you, are you interested?'"
"Some people that you have that intense mutual attraction for aren't the right one(s) for you, except that they are the right ones to practice making that connection with. The person who is perfect for you might be someone who grows into the right emotional responses... and that's true of you, for them, as well."
"And lastly, you can choose to ignore both the mutual and asserted versions; the right relationship choices are both an emotional and intellectual decision, don't rely on one exclusively."
A List of Obvious Signals
"Reading signals is tough, I’m glad I don’t have to date these days."
"But some legit signals I’ve learned, in no particular order:"
"Prolonged or suggestive eye contact."
"Body positioning mirrors yours or stands closer than typical in your culture."
"Playing with hair when you interact."
"Light unconscious brushing up against or touching."
"If seated, leaning forward towards you frequently and/or touching you hand in a friendly way."
"Flushed or light blushing when they interact with you but not others."
"Excessive awkwardness that isn’t the case with them around other people. Especially if they straight up start babbling like a loon."
"Awkward silences you could cut with a knife but they still keep seeking you out."
When Someone Gets It Wrong
"It’s hard to explain. Basically, it’s a nervous, delicious breathless feeling when they are close to you. You both go out of your way to stand just a little bit closer to each other."
"The sad thing is, some people think they 'feel' this with someone just because the other person is being friendly and misread signals. I once had a guy insist that we had sexual tension simply because I twisted my hair."
"He told me that twisting my hair was a 'mating signal.'"
"I told him that I had been twisting my hair has been a nervous habit of mine since I was a toddler, but of course, he wanted to believe I was interested and insisted that I must secretly want him."
Obvious to Other People First
"When other people pick up on it."
Responding to Looks
"When they suddenly look and hold eye contact and then look away. (Low)"
"When they look and notice you're looking then they run their hand through their hair. (Medium)"
"When they notice you looking and suddenly gently bite their lip looking away. (High)"
"When they notice you’re looking and do something to draw attention to their body either stretch and reveal skin or adjust an intimate part of their clothing. (Extreme)"
"Each of the above will make you get butterflies as you know that she knows AND that she knows that you know."
Trying to Keep the Conversation Going
"When there's a lull in the conversation, and eye contact is maintained while you both are trying to figure out what to say next."
Looking But Not Looking
"Catching glances, by either party. The kind where they’re looking at you and don’t think you’ll look up or at them. Then suddenly the ceiling is really interesting to them when you make eye contact."
The Classic Note Trick
"When they hand you a piece of paper that says:"
"'Do you think that there is sexual tension between us?'"
"'[ ] Yes or [ ] No'"
While we'd all love for the dating scene and general flirting to be straight-forward, simple, and stress-free, this thread serves as a reminder that it comes easily for some while being a puzzle for others.
At the end of the day, if you're interested in someone, the easiest thing to do, though it's terrifying, might be to ask them.
Anyone with any amount of dating experience knows at least a few things that they love in a relationship and a few things they find unsavory.
Just like discovering our boundaries and what qualifies as a relationship deal breaker, most of us generally have a few rules that we tend to live by in every relationship, whether it's romantic, platonic, or professional.
Curious to learn some rules to live by, Redditor aytmamatov_musa asked:
"What relationship rule have you memorized forever?"
Actions Speak Louder than Words
"I can't remember the exact wording, but something to the effect of: Pay more attention to how invested your partner is in the relationship, not how much they say they are."
Know Who Holds the Power
"I remember when I first realized that the person who has the most control in a relationship (especially ending it) is the person that cares about the relationship the least."
"When I thought of all the relationships that I had been in (not just sexual) and how one person decided sometimes months ahead of time that the relationship was over, I remember how oblivious the other person was when it ended."
"By the way, this can also be applied to employment relationships as well."
Don't Fight for Someone's Attention
"If someone does not want to hear you, there is no way you can phrase anything to make them listen."
"This applies to all types of relationships, but I learned it from trying so hard to have a healthy relationship with my mother. Then when I left at 25, she responded by filing a missing person's report, hiring a PI (Personal Investigator), harassing my friends, and hacking my email and bank accounts to monitor my activity."
"This also ties into: abusers see you taking away their ability to abuse you, as an egregious theft of their rightful property."
Be a United Front
"Problems aren’t You vs Me. They’re Us vs The Problem."
No Codependent Relationships Here
"You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped."
Be Honest About Your Feelings
"Listen to how you describe your partner to friends, or how you think at the moment how you're describing your partner to them. That will tell you a lot about how you feel about them."
"If you're nervous about introducing them, listen to why. If you're apologizing for their actions, pausing to reframe positive ways to speak about them, or ignoring the red flags, then listen to that instinct. If you're constantly talking about the problems or hiding them, pay attention to why."
"I remember being in one relationship and having those feelings of, 'Should I introduce her to the family, when I talk to others about her, I'm exhausted from some argument, etc.'"
"I remember another relationship, thinking, 'Oh, I would love her to meet the family, she'd get along with everyone's kids, my friends would love her, I just had this great moment with her, and I wanted to tell people about it, I enjoy talking about her.'"
"When you experience that difference (and you have the wisdom and experience to know you're not being deluded by things like abuse or newness or getting caught up in a big fire that's going to burn out fast), it tells you so much."
Be Mindful of Reciprocation
"Something a friend of mine once told me was, 'Always ask yourself if this relationship isn't taking more from you than it is giving you.'"
"It saved me a lot of heartbreak."
"If they don’t respect your boundaries while dating, they won’t respect them in marriage."
Cheaters Gonna Cheat
"My best mate got with a woman who cheated on her then-boyfriend to be with him. Then my mate and she stayed together for four years, but she ended up cheating on him with another guy that she is now dating."
"I warned him in the beginning and advised him not to get into a relationship with her to start with. If she can do it with one guy, she can do it with another."
"His argument was that her then-boyfriend was not good enough for her which was why she is cheating on him. But what he failed to realize was that no one is the best in the world, and if she decides that he isn’t good enough for her in the future, then she will cheat on him too. And that is exactly what happened."
Acknowledge Red Flags
"Red flags look like normal flags when wearing rose-colored glasses."
Common Interests Aren't Everything
"Having a lot in common doesn’t equal a good relationship. It’s just a decent starting foundation."
Don't Go to Bedroom Angry - Or Do?
"I wouldn't say forever, yet, but since becoming a wife, I have learned that it's okay to sleep off a fight. Don't have to 'resolve' everything right then and there. Give each other space to let steam off and talk in the morning."
Be Loved for Who You Are
"Do not change your personality if you don't want to... I didn't realize until the breakup, that my ex did not like me, just the idea of what I could be..."
Know the Difference
"When an argument comes out of nowhere, ask 'Are you yelling at me, or to me?'"
"It's helped with a lot of arguments. Sometimes we just need a backboard to scream at, and nine out of ten times, that backboard is your significant other."
"A lot of arguments get bad just because they don't know you are releasing anger, which is healthy in the right way."
Some of these seem pretty simple, but they can make a huge impact in a relationship, if not also to the trajectory and health of a person's life. By understanding our own worth and how it's valued by others, we gave give ourselves a much happier ever after than we might have otherwise settled for.