People Break Down Their Most Shameful NSFW Moments
Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

It's ok to be naughty.

But sometimes... you wanna watch yourself.

Naughty can lead to trouble.

And we're talking adult naughty.

Maybe it's time we discussed it all.

Rule #1... Better safe than sorry.

Redditor Black_Hole_Baken-00 wanted hear from all the people willing to share sexy secrets that might leave plenty of people blushing. They asked:

"What’s your most shameful NSFW moment?"

Elevators. Stairwells. Planes. You name it. I've shamed it. No Deets...

don't worry I wasn't naked...

"I was watching adult videos in the middle of the night. After I did my deed I felt a slight pain in my balls, like someone flicked their finger on them. The pain increased to the point that I had to walk it out. After some minutes I began screaming from the pain when my parents came to my room (don't worry I wasn't naked) seeing me in pain on the floor."

"At that moment I thought I did something wrong but was to ashamed to tell them.My dad rushed me to the emergency room where I was rushed in and my pants were removed. Laying there they gave me a nose spray which halted some of the pain. The doctor then started fondling my family jewels while the nurse stood next to me reminding me to breath because the nose spray stopped the automatic breathing if that makes sense."

"All the time my dad is standing there looking and the only thing I could thing at that moment was oh no do they think my unit is small. After that the doctors brought me to another room while my dad was in another room. While going trough the halls I told the doctor I probably know the cause and explained that I was pleasuring myself"

"I don't remember the doctors response but I felt truly ashamed like I was the only person doing such a thing. Later the doctor told me I had testicular Torsion which is caused by the balls not being attached to the sack so I'm living in fear of it happening again to this day."

Sick-Man_NL

"WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??"

"In the 90's/early 2000's we bought a pub and moved into it. It had a big screen downstairs and we lived above, but Sky Sports was so expensive for the business account we basically hooked the giant screen to our box upstairs so whenever the sport was on it would show on the screen downstairs."

"So we couldn't watch TV upstairs except what was being shown on the big screen when this was happening. Anyway one Sunday evening around 10pm after the sport (bearing in mind the sport finished at 6pm) I was freely browsing through channels because the giant screen has been wound up into the ceiling and my 14 year old self came across some softcore adult videos"

"Curious, I started watching it. Suddenly there was a big buzz from the phone that connected to downstairs, I answer it. It's my mum with laughing in the background. "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??" I was like "errr.. I was just flicking through channels.." "Well you've stayed on that one for a while haven't you?"

"I forgot about the small TV in the bar area. It was still on and was showing the entire pub what my horny self was watching. I was mortified. Luckily my mum never brought it up again and neither did any of the customers thankfully."

Parish87

I Gotta Go

"When i was 12 my younger sister walked in on me playing fondle the dongle. I told her I couldn't pee and was trying to force/pump it out. She told my mom out of worry. Said I needed a doctor to help me pee. When Mom confronted me about what my sister was saying i then had to explain it to her."

itisbaileyikilledyou

Decades ago...

"My mom walked in on me. The look on her face went from incomprehension to shock to utter disgust over the span of a second or two. She stayed calm and explained how it wasn't appropriate, but I just remember how unsmiling and tense she was, totally unlike I'd ever seen her. Decades ago but still cringe so much recalling it."

A_Dazzling_Method

Oh. My. God. Y'all are animals. And I'm LIIIIVVVING for it!

“underwear”

surprise disrobing GIFGiphy

"My dad caught me editing the game files of The Sims to replace the female underwear textures with 'underwear' that just makes them look nude. Looked up reference material and edited them in photoshop. That a lot of effort to put into something so depraved."

IrrelevantPuppy

Mistakes

"When i was about 10, my parents were out so I looked up some adult videos on the family computer (mistake number 1), then I kept hearing noises and thought someone was in the house so i ran to my room and called my dad, leaving to computer on (mistake number 2)."

"My dad rushed home and went around the house looking for an intruder, no one was there, it was just my next door neighbors (we have a semi-detached house) then obviously saw what i was looking at on the computer and asked me about it… i told him the intruder must of broken in and searched it up :( "

Educational_Top122

Library Time

"In middle school, my friend got her boobs and she wanted me to touch them. We probably spent 30 minutes everyday before school until the librarian caught us and we were suspended."

Shef43

I wonder if she knew...

"My HS gf and I were having sex in the sideways laying down cuddling position. Mom walked in to show me a new Christmas decoration. To her it looked like we were just cuddling but she sat on the bed inches away from me and proceeded to talk about the decoration for like 10 minutes. I wonder if she knew. They never cared much about that stuff so I think she was just oblivious."

MyPupWrigley

I'm Dead

"I was violently ill. In my fiancé’s house where we were living. While he was at work, his dad was working from home. I needed my mom to take me to the hospital. I screamed for my father in laws help, who entered the bathroom to my nude body, puking at t in his bathtub. He called my mom for me, and we never spoke about it."

hammybachy

OMG!

"When I was around 10/11 years old, my dad got my brother and I a computer to use. He set it up in the den and pretty much allowed us free unsupervised access to it. He had gone out with his friends one night, and my brother, one of his friends, and myself were on the internet just typing in random things and adding .com to it."

"Now back in the early 2000's it didn't take long for us to stumble upon porn. Which led us to clicking on more and more porn links because we were all like, holy shit there's naked women on here. Eventually we bricked the computer and it blue screened on us. Instead of turning it off/unplugging the computer/turning off the monitor, we just left it and went to bed."

"My dad got home and saw the blue screen. Did the ol' Ctrl, alt, delete trick to pull up the task manager. Saw that we had porn pulled up on the web browser. At this point he makes us all come out into the den. Sits us on the couch and tries to make us confess to why the computer was blue screened."

"We of course shrugged and acted like we had no clue. He then turned the monitor on and went through the internet history. We all had to sit there while my dad clicked through some of the most heinous debased shit I've ever seen in my life. The whole time he was just reading out the history and then he'd say something like "Jesus freaking C*rist, what the hell is wrong with you all". Yeah that computer did not last very long."

JudgementalChair

a thousand deaths...

Hide Reaction GIF by florGiphy

"When I was with my ex, we did some long distance for a while. While I am not about sending nudes, after not seeing each other for a long time you kinda get an urge to see the other person naked. So, nudes were exchanged. She was mostly interested in close ups of my erect penis so I send those."

"Upon returning home I discovered that she had set a picture of my erect penis as my profile picture in her phone. Meaning that if I'd call her, my penis would be presented on the screen in all its glory. I told her this was a very stupid idea, what if I'd call and her phone was laying around somewhere? She said she never had her phone laying around so no one would see. I didn't think much of it."

"Few weeks later we were having dinner with her parents and she was talking about getting a new phone. Her father, with a straight face and in between two bites of his food, remarked 'Gee, if you get this new phone, does that mean you'll install a different picture for when he calls you?' I died a thousand deaths."

Alwin_

When in Hollywood

"I was once extremely drunk and staying in a very expensive hotel in Hollywood. I went to bed, as I should. I woke up in the middle of the night and had to pee. I walked through the bathroom door and closed it behind me. I then realized that that wasn't the bathroom door, but rather the room door. I was locked out of my room in a fancy hotel, drunk off my a**, wearing only my underwear. I went to the elevator lobby where there was a phone and called the front desk and explained my situation."

"They said they would send someone up. I realized I couldn't wait and continued searching for a place to pee and found a janitor closet with a rolling mop bucket in it. I took a giant pee in the mop bucket and then walked back to my room door, where a bellhop who really didn't want to look me in the eye let me back into my room. I'm very sorry, Mondrian hotel."

91901bbaa13d40128f7d

Dear God!

"I thought God would kill me for masturbating when I was little so I barely ever did it, but the house would know when I was doing it because I'd yell 'I'm sorry God!' My family wasn't even religious, I didn't even know where I got that Idea from."

G4rg0yle_Art1st

Sorry Sir

"Shagging with my wife (then girlfriend) in the back of my car when a bright light shines in the window. Cop asks 'What’s going on here.' I calmly respond 'Just having sex sir.' He was nice. Told us it was technically public nudity and it would be best if we just high tailed it out of the parking lot."

DDsLaboratory

Smiles

Miley Cyrus Smile GIFGiphy

"I grew up in an incredibly rural area with dialup internet. I was only able to load nude images from the top down. I finished before it loaded past the neck. My fetish is a pretty face and a beautiful happy smile. I wish it was a joke. Some men are butt men some like breasts. I love a beautiful smile"

Swarlolz

Hello Mom

"My High School boyfriend and I were having sex in his attic bedroom, both of us completely naked. I was bouncing and moaning and making a lot of noise with the headboard because we were home alone. Well, his mom came home early and we had no idea until she was at the top of the stairs calling his name and walked in on me, totally naked and with her son."

"She took a breath, calmly told us to get dressed and come downstairs. When we did, she told us she was disappointed and asked him to walk me home. He very quietly told her we had planned to go to church youth group afterwards. She let us leave after she picked her jaw up off the floor. That was the first time I’d met his mom."

Significant_Drag_465

"Hu" What?

"I used to read some weird erotica when I was younger as I hated all porn in video form. I distinctly remember reading one a that had women in stalls like cows. They kept using this term 'hucow' which at the time I didn’t realize was obviously a mash up of the word human and cow."

"I didn't think much of it but one time I was talking to a friend and I was trying to remember the term for a female cow. My brain thought 'hucow' and I almost said it before catching myself. I know they probably wouldn't have caught on, but it killed me inside that I almost said something from some pretty weird porn."

throwawayalientk

Well I need a cold shower and more vodka.

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