Thankfully, most of my professional life has happened outside of the typical corporate world. That means I've only ever been to a single glorious office holiday party. It was a perfect storm of a party. The event had an open bar and was held at an interactive museum that was within walking distance of several popular bars and night clubs. The higher-ups thought it would be a great idea to ask partygoers to share images using a specific hashtag - they figured it would make the company seem hip to potential new recruits.
We made it four hours into the night before HR sent out an email asking us to please stop using the hashtag. The company had severely underestimated the sort of stuff drunk 20-somethings are willing to share on social media - and that screenshots are forever.
One Reddit user asked:
Here are some of the most cringeworthy and wonderful responses. Seriously, is there any way to come back from twerking on the bosses wife? And can we all please agree to just skip the drunken co-worker karaoke as a general rule? Nobody wins, guys.
It was hosted at a really nice restaurant and there was an open bar. We all arrived, had a drink, started chatting and joking around.
Then the CEO arrived and promptly called us all to attention. We assumed he would just be congratulating us on a great year and wishing us a happy holidays, but instead he announced that we would not be receiving bonuses that year and that there would be layoffs in the near future. People were PISSED.
There was basically a mad dash to the open bar and we all said "No bonuses? F*ck it, I'm drinking my bonus this year then."
The next several hours were an absolute sh!t show. More rounds of shots of top-shelf liquor than I can remember. The receptionist vomited onto her plate of filet mignon. Two coworkers had sex in the bathroom. The CEO's wife ended up passed out drunk in a chair next to the coat rack and had to be carried out.
It was glorious.
Also literally half the company called in sick the next day, and those of us who actually came in just spent the day taking turns puking in the bathroom.
We went to the races for a Christmas party, one of the girls got really high on something, pissed herself on the members balcony then pulled her drenched underwear down and threw it off the balcony into the crowd. She never came back to work after that lol
Fool Me Twice
HR had booked us into the function room of a hotel (one of these big, out of town places that do wedding receptions). Everyone had to pay £50 per head to attend, £75 for plus ones.
When we arrived, the room we'd booked already had another party in it. They'd double-booked the room and just assumed that one company wasn't going to turn up. So there's 300 people trying to share a space meant for 200 at the most. Not enough chairs or tables and no room to move.
When food came, we had to take turns eating our courses while people stood around us, waiting. The venue had lost our meal choices so it was basically "eat what we give you". The food itself had clearly been microwaved from frozen - scalding hot on the outside, still frozen in the centre.
After it became clear that this was going to be the standard for the night, the UM ordered pizzas for just our party, to be delivered to the function room. Most of those who had already eaten the food provided ended up with food poisoning.
Afterwards, we all demanded a full refund. The company got its deposit back but employees got nothing. The following year, HR booked the same venue as they'd given us a huge discount and promised that it would be better this time.
My employer decided that, on that particular Christmas and for the first time, staff could bring along their wives/husbands/SOs.
One of my close colleagues, slightly over-refreshed, nudged the woman he was standing next to, nodded at a male and a female colleague, both out on the dance floor, and said: "He's been shagging her all year."
The woman he was talking to was the guy's wife.
There was "a scene" in which my colleague had his lights punched out.
Company never invited SOs again.
Company party for about 150 people. Decide to have a "talent show" after dinner.
Initially nobody signs up. They dangle like a $100 prize.
Next thing you know Karen is showing pictures of her trip to Jamaica where she climbed up a waterfall. And the janitor is singing Copacabana karaoke style... with out music. Everyone left, the talent show was never repeated.
The Graveyard Uprising
The company had a drawing for prizes. No one on swing or graveyard won a prize. A group of graveyard employees grabbed the can they were drawing names from and went through it. Only day shift workers names were in the can. When they protested, the company canned them for insubordination.
LL Cool JGiphy
Probably the time I was in my early 20s grinding up on an older lady on the dance floor to L.L. Cool J.'s "Doin' it" song. I'd say at least 50 coworkers were cheering it on. Next day, I learned that was the wife of one of the Chairmen of the Board. Thankfully, he took it in stride, and was like "She really appreciated you giving her the time of day, you should've taken her upstairs afterward". I'll admit that conversation was awkward to me, but I later learned they were swingers, so it was all good.
The Booze Cruise
We had our Holiday party on a barge whose top floor was rented out to a different company. There was only one male and female toilet per floor and one of the female party goers from that party had had way to much to drink before the meal was even served. Between dinner and dessert she stumbled down the flight of stairs pee running down her leg and falls into the men's toilet. Does her thing and falls up the stairs back up to her party. Next thing you know we hear her screaming fine then, I'll just go, and she jumps overboard into waters we all know are shark infested. Her date, knowing there is no way she can survive given how drunk she is (not even considering the sharks), empties his pockets and jumps in after her.
They had to stop the barge, call the police and end the trip for the rest of us. No idea what happened to the jumpers and I didn't get any dessert, but at least I have a good story to tell!
Different Boss Each Year
They hired out a members club so I thought it would be at least a decent standard facility. The bar was staffed by one rather grumpy older lady, someone brought a punch bowl and someone else spiked it and my friend went outside and vomited blood all over the place.
Six guys wouldn't leave me alone the entire evening because they wanted to know how I had "kept that on a tight leash" because they found my wife attractive. There was a karaoke that only one person did and they wouldn't stop doing it. Two people not married to each other got caught in the toilets together.
Oh and someone got drunk and tried to fight the boss, for the third year in a row. Different boss each year.
Questionable Lyrical Content
I was the shit show at one of my parties. They rented a live karaoke band for the event and I looked through their set list to see what they had. I noticed The Misfits "Last Caress" on there, which was a song I loved and was so different than everything else. For those of you that don't know the song it starts out with:
"I got something to say
I killed your baby today
And it doesn't matter much to me
As long as it's dead"
I thought, "Man, I kind of want to do that, but I really shouldn't." Then after many, many drinks later I was drunk enough to not care. I get up on stage and request the song. The band starts going and I get super into it just belting the lyrics into the microphone.My lip started bleeding and a coworker of mine came and got me off the stage and called me a cab.
The next day I still showed up on time, which surprised everyone and because of that I won an award for being the drunkest at the party and still showing up the next day.
I work in the public sector, we have to pay for goddamned everything ourselves. Christmas party, tissues. I'm 7 years in and only just now am not sharing a desk with someone.
My office makes us do that. It's never more than $25 though. Like we've got the holiday bowling party coming up for our division, and that's $15. And then the directorate holiday party for $20. And nobody really blames you if you don't go, but there's tons of good prizes, so if you stick it out, you've got a good chance of getting some good stuff.
Satan Not Santa
Secondhand story: Big boss kept asking much lower level subordinates to sit on his lap while his wife sat nearby and scowled at him. He "retired" soon after. This was 20 years ago - hopefully this wouldn't fly today.
That's An Exit
Apparently one of the temps at my old work got completely wasted at the work Christmas party, then showed up the next morning at 8am (right on time), downed half a bottle of champagne in a single hit, said to nobody in particular "f--- you all. I never liked working here anyway." and left.
Nobody ever heard from her again and her contract still had three weeks left. HR made a tactical decision to leave it for a few days until they could declare she had "abandoned" her job and then got another temp in, who never heard how her predecessor left.
Stiches Over Staples
Summer party back when I was at Staples. There was this new guy, he was on his first day at the job and we had the Summer Party at our boss' house. It was the typical barbecue pool party and we were like 10-12 employees so it was pretty cool.
THis new guy just finished his first day at the job and understands that there is a party after his shift so he follows with someone else straight after his shift.
Everyone has a good time, but this dude was like a frat boy. He drank so much he ended up throwing everywhere in the pool and fell face first into the plastic tabl outside and broke it in half "WWE-style".
The thing is, he had never actually met the menager before since he got hired by the assistant manager during vacation times. The poor guy woke up the next day, still half-drunk, on the manager's couch.
THis guy kept his job because our boss was pretty chill. He eventually left Staples after working there 2 years. Best coworker I had while working there. But we always teased him about that night.
We had a white elephant gift exchange. Pretty much every gift was a bottle of alcohol or a gift card. One person selected their gift and opened it and it was just a 4 pack of toilet paper. He tried to laugh but was obviously annoyed. Acted like a brat every gift opening after. Someone gets a gift card, a sarcastic " Ohhh, wanna trade? ", or " Lucky you... ".
The last gift is opened and he just goes on a rant about how unfair it is everyone got a decent gift and he's stuck with toilet paper. Demanded to know who the cheapskate was who couldn't be bothered enough to buy a decent gift but was gladly going home with something someone else bought. A shy girl from another department raised her hand and quietly said " I brought the gift, did you look on the bottom? ". Sure enough he flips the toilet paper over and there's 2 tickets to an NBA game taped to the bottom. The guy turned red, quietly apologized, and sat down. He left like 2 minutes later without a goodbye to anyone.
Intern at a law firm christmas party. One of the lead attorneys gathered me and all the paralegals to take tequila shots with him. The top-billing attorneys, a husband and wife team, both got hammered, took off their shoes, and began chasing each other in the ballroom shooting nerf guns at each other and the paras. Someone gave firm-branded hazmat suits as a gag gift and two other attorneys put them on and began fighting with foam swords.This was pre-Uber, so the firm paid for cabs for everyone to get home if they'd been drinking.
Red sports cars have been a mid-life crisis trope for as long as there have been red sports cars and lives have had mids.
But for real, nobody is affording them in this economy. And if we could, we couldn't gas them up anyway.
But broke folk deserve a crisis, too! Probably more than anyone who can afford a sports car...
Reddit user morphgb706 asked
"What's a middle life crisis for people who could never afford a sports car?"
So let's get it, readers.
Let's find out what's giving "mid-life crisis in the middle of a financial and sociopolitical catastrophe."
Air Guitar Is Cheaper
"Buying an electric guitar without even knowing how to play. Then hanging it on the wall in your mancave because you gave up after a couple weeks."
"I recently hauled my bass guitar out of retirement when I saw all the vast storehouse of glorious YouTube tutorials that take the Guitar Hero/Rockband model to make learning to play a real instrument on your own super interesting and engaging. Not repetitive and frustrating as it was back in the 90s! So, if anyone out there has a sweet axe gathering dust, plug her in and tune* her up."
"*Fender has a free tuning app. It’s a million times better than the sh*tty electric tuner you paid too much for back in 1997 and needs a 9v battery and a 1/4in to 3.5mm adapter to use."
"My dad has thousands of dollars in guitar equipment, (And I mean like, multiple Fenders, Gibsons, and I think he even has a Rickenbacker.) so like 10 electric guitars and some cheap acoustics, a ton of pedals, amps, etc. And he only went to guitar classes for about a year, then proceeded to never practice after he stopped going to the classes, resulting in only knowing how to play basic chords and part of one song. So this is very, very accurate."
- LadyDalamaMask Guitar GIFGiphy
Arcade For Me And ...
"I just built an arcade machine in my man cave for the friends I no longer get to hang with."
"Does that count?"
"I turned part of my garage into a chill spot and set up all the old systems I've accumulated over the years; Dreamcast, Saturn, N64, Atari 2600, SNES, etc."
"As I finished and sat back at what I created I thought 'All ready for me and the boys...when that will be I do not know..'."
"Man I feel that."
"I setup the arcade with all the old skool games we used to play. All the Tekkens, NBA Jam, NFL Blitz, etc. Then sat back and realized "I haven't seen the boyz in 2 years...:*("
"Getting heavily into making sourdough bread."
"It’s the second most talked about topic my dad has. The first is a game called Sea of Thieves."
"I'm 35 and I just got super into bread baking lol. It's cheap, simple ingredients, yet so deceptively nuanced and I love it. Also you get fresh bread!"
"There’s a guy like that at my work. Bakes bread as a hobby build a wood fired oven in his back yard"
"This is an extra funny thing to me. I’d worked in a bakery makeing sourdough in my late 20’s. Just a few months before the pandemic i got back into it. Imagine my surprise when everyone is suddenly making sourdough. I felt like a bread hipster lol"
- maximum_overdumbKneading Brant Daugherty GIF by Hallmark ChannelGiphy
Get The Band Back Together
"Trying to start a band, even better if it's a punk band."
"Lol I’m turning 40 in a couple months and was just thinking I should get a band together!"
"I turn 40 in august and tuned my bass the other day after 15 years of neglect. Oi, oi, oi!!"
"Punk is an EXCELLENT option if u have no money AND no natural musical ability."
"Damn, I'm 38 and just started playing post-rock with some friends. Even worse is realising that post-rock is the new dad rock"
"I'm 40 and in better shape than I ever was as a teenager."
"I got into boxing in my late 30’s, and can confirm 40 year old me is in better shape than teenage me"
"Reddit acts like once you hit 30 your body immediately breaks down and there is no hope. Like a line is crossed."
"I’m going to the gym and have a better body at 37 than I ever had at 19."
- Noggin-a-FlogginBounty Hunter Dog GIF by DefyTVGiphy
Different Kind Of Smokeing
"Getting really into smoking meat"
"Literally sitting next to my meat filled smoker right now."
"I just wanna grill for God’s sake"
"Bruh, just smoked chicken thighs last night after doing a garlic, thyme, and savory brine. Bourbon barrel chips."
"If this is what's left of life for me, I'll take it. Some of the best food I've ever had has been from my ceramic smoker."
"Hahaha that's me. There's a 12lbs brisket in my freezer I have absolutely no plan for, it was just on sale and I'm not not gonna get it."
"Listen here you little sh*t.."
- Th3_AccountantVideo Games Cooking GIF by Far Cry 6Giphy
"At 47, I just started woodworking. In retrospect, it would have been cheaper to just buy the damn sports car."
"I always wanted to do this! My grandpa had the most amazing barn filled with wood, table saws, you name it. It smelled amazing of course. He made beautiful furniture and always had Mt Dew and snickers ice cream bars in the fridge :)"
"Its like I always tell my spouse "Why buy this for $400 when I could easily build it for $800"
- rachman77Lisa Simpson Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"A perfectly manicured lawn."
"I tell you hwhat"
"Why does anyone do drugs when they could mow a lawn"
"I didn't expect to be attacked like this. Especially on Father's Day."
"Was just admiring mine on my deck as I read this. I hate you!"
"Since buying my first house, I have got to say. There is something supremely satisfying about having the nicest lawn on the street. I got a compliment on my lawn when I moved in from a random on the street , and ever since I have been chasing that high."
"I spent $600 on soil improver and weed and feed 3 months ago, just to make sure my reign of lawn supremacy can continue"
"As a lifelong slacker who has gone through job after job and just generally been a permanent hot mess, my mid life crisis seems to be finding joy and peace in having a 9-5 job and health insurance."
"Dude, that's me right now!"
"I finally realized I want stability and comfort. All the partying and crazy projects and boozing, women, etc. were really just masking the pain of not having stability. I finally have a regular job and I kind of love it."
"The ol switcheroo"
"Mid life tranquility"
"I got a new job across the country in a city I’ve always been interested in. Despite knowing no one there. Mix it up is my midlife crisis."
- PrayForMojo_dolly parton telephone GIF by London Theatre DirectGiphy
"A midlife crisis or 'midlife awakening' isn't so much about buying new 'toys'."
"It's acknowledging the fact you have more years/days behind you than ahead of you."
"Some people react to this realization by creating "bucket lists" and trying to accomplish everything on their list whether it is practical or not."
"In other instances, money and timing were the reasons why a person didn't get what they dreamed of while younger but now they are in a position to have it "society" tells them it's too late."
"The pricing of the 2022 Chevrolet Corvette starts at $60,900 for the coupe and $68,400 for the convertible for the base. Not many 20 (something year olds) can afford such a car!"
"However, a guy in his 40s is probably in a better position to buy that car but he's told he's going through a "midlife crisis" when the reality is he can finally afford his dream car!"
"We tell people at their high school graduation to never give up on their dreams."
"However, within the "fine print" is an expiration date in which society expects you to abandon them."
"Life is a personal journey. If there is something you've always wanted to do go for it."
" 'The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.' - W.M. Lewis"
" 'Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.'- Paulo Coelho"
" 'The world may not owe you anything, but you owe yourself the world!'- Kevin Darné"
Be honest, did any of you make this feel personally attacked?
I know it wasn't just me...
Some people typically don't like being told what to do because they think they already know what they're doing.
That is until they stumble and land on their face.
It turns out what they were resistant to accepting in the first place was accurate all along.
If only they listened.
Curious to hear of other people's growing pains, Redditor TinyUnderstanding948 asked:
"What lesson did you have to learn the hard way?"
You can protect yourself with these reminders.
Leave A Paper Trail
"Any monetary or business agreement needs to be in writing!"
Observing The Fine Print
"Read the contract."
Generally speaking, business relationships and friendships are mutually exclusive.
"Not everyone you work with is your friend."
What Venting Led To
"My grandmother learned that the hard way a few years ago. Had been in the same industry since the 90s, was being paid less than she was worth honestly. On a break at work, she was venting to a coworker she thought she was friends with, about someone who worked in the same place as them."
"Word got back to the boss pretty fast and they used it as an excuse to stop giving her work and forced her out; they preferred a younger workforce that they could pay less. She had to retire without much savings, had to sell her house and move in with my aunt, and now has to live off of social security benefits. She probably would have never retired if she hadn't been forced to; because of her age, she wasn't able to get hired anywhere else."
"I work with someone who will laugh with you and pretend to be your buddy but as soon as you turn your back, she's already b*tched about you to 20 people and whined about you asking for her help with some small tasks (even though she offered her support)."
"The worst part is she is part of the HR team and she has a documented history of exploding at people, harassment and bullying, and not doing her job (because she spends most of her time crying and complaining). She is the stereotypical HR representative."
Consumers who were previously taken advantage of have the following advice to pass along.
Splurge On Good Quality
"Buy it nice or buy it twice."
"This is 100% accurate but needs a disclaimer: expensive does not always equate to nice."
The relationships we have with people are complex, but you may want to keep these in mind.
Extending A Lifeline
"You can’t always help people. You can show them you care and point them toward help, but it’s up to them to get better. And if you fail, it’s not your fault."
"You can't have a relationship with someone's potential."
Achieve Mutual Adoration
"Loving someone doesn't mean they will keep loving you."
And when it comes to your health, listen up.
"Drink plenty of water."
"It's hard to know when you're dehydrated sometimes. Felt terrible and didn't know why. Never felt thirsty. Had skin issues, lack of sleep, irritability, lack of concentration, dizzy spells, could not function at work, among other things."
"Ended up at the ICU with an IV drip for severe dehydration."
"DRINK YOUR WATER!"
While advice from the people we care about comes from a good place, they are not always appreciated.
Sometimes, we have to make our own mistakes in order to fully comprehend why we should apply certain standards to the way we go about our lives.
At least for me, I've found that picking myself up and dusting myself off was most effective.
As patients, we rely on the expertise of medical professionals to be able to identify whatever ailments we're suffering through.
We brace ourselves if we fear the worst, but oftentimes, we end up being comforted by a minor diagnosis.
But all the medical degrees and years of education can't teach doctors to practice empathetic, yet professional, doctor-to-patient interaction on a basic human level.
That has to come naturally.
Curious to hear from patients who have had disappointing or distressing interactions with their physicians, Redditor TheSpasticSheep asked:
"What’s the most out of line thing a doctor has every said to you?"
It's horrifying when even doctors don't have a clue about your condition and, even worse, they gaslight you.
"A gentleman I worked with showed up to work one day looking extremely sick. He was incredibly feverish, had muscle and joint aches, very lethargic and was looking very jaundiced."
"we insisted that he go to the doctor, as he looks like he is on deaths door. He told us that he had been to 2 separate doctors and the ER, letting them know that he has Malaria, and can they please give him some anti malarials. Both doctors and the ER insisted that it 'was impossible to have malaria, as Australia doesn't have malaria,' and that he probably just had the flu, or some other viral infection. And they are correct. We don't have malaria here. But, what they failed to grasp was that this gentleman was an expat who worked in Africa for a number of years, and has had malaria 5 times already. So not only is he an expert in what malaria 'feels' like, but he is also at risk of developing malaria again, even if he hasn't been to Africa in a few years."
"He ended up having to go back to the ER, and basically force them to run a test for Malaria, after which they were like 'oh wow, you do have malaria.' And he was like 'no sh*t, i told you that 2 days ago.'"
Not Going Mental
"I had smashed my face on my steering wheel during a bad car accident and was experiencing intense pain. I teared up when he put the scope in my nose and was told I obviously have psychological problems and if I went on medication it might not help my pain, but I wouldn't care as much."
"Finally found a good doctor and surgery removed the chunk of nose bone that was stabbing into a nerve in my face."
The wrong treatment after a misdiagnosis can be a doctor's serious mistake.
"I had a growth on my scalp a few years ago and went to see a skin cancer specialist. Who said it was a malenoma and I was going to need most of my scalp removed. Without even having a biopsy. He starts telling me to prepare myself for this surgery that will disfigure me. I was about 19 at the time with long hair. He started saying ill need to wear a wig and my hair may not grow back and the skin above my eyes will need to be removed."
"I was petrified. Went home in tears and absolutely petrified."
"Then my dad took me to his doctor, who took a biopsy."
"It was just a random skin growth and she cut it off then and there."
"Years ago, one of the sexual health nurses at my work told me she just saw a woman who very clearly had a scabies infestation around her genitals. She said the treatment was simple and that a cream was applied with almost instant relief. She said what upset her about that patient was that almost a year earlier she’d been to a doctor about the infestation, the doctor didn’t even inspect her and just prescribed her antidepressants. I was horrified and still am over 7 years later. So much medical gaslighting."
"Too Young" For Cancer
"Not one, but two doctors to my dad- 'you’re too young to have prostate cancer, no need for a biopsy, it’s just a bladder problem.'”
"He died 15 months later from an aggressive prostate cancer that spread to create tumors all over his body."
The "Sad" Pill
""While teaching abroad in Vietnam I was struggling with depression. The doc diagnosed me with homesickness and prescribed a box of 160 hydrocodone to take 'when I feel sad.'"
"I was 21 and this was 2007, way before pill use was talked about mainstream. Subsequent boxes were $12 each at a walk up pharmacy, no script needed. I became addicted for 6 years."
"Edit, as I have many people stating that pill use has been discussed forever: I’m talking about the point we got to where most people knew about the dangers of opioids, what the main ones were, the fact that they were being overprescribed etc. Had I heard the word hydrocodone and been exposed to the world and media like I have over the last decade with the spotlight on the opioid crisis, I would never have taken them. That’s the main point I was attempting to make."
It's even more unsettling when someone you entrust your life to crosses a line.
Assessment Or Pick-Up Line?
"Mental health doctor told my daughter, 'You're too pretty to be depressed.'"
A NSFW Observation
"Not a doctor, but a dentist. When I was like 13 or 14 he commented on my lack of gag reflex, telling me that I’m going to be 'very popular with the boys.' It took me a few years to realize what he meant by that."
Mom To The Rescue
"I was the opposite. My dentist said, 'If you always gag like that, you're never going to find a good husband!'"
"I didn't understand why my mom yanked me out of the dentist's chair, but I'm proud of her for that. I think I was 6 or 7 years old."
The Gynocologist's Love Advice
"Mentioned that my sex drive was abnormally low to my gyno, and she said my husband just needed to be more forceful when initiating and I’d get into it. Immediately switched doctors and never looked back!"
The Gyno Who Jumped To Conclusions
"Mine was the opposite. Moved and went to a new gyno that several women raved about. I expressed concern over my low sex drive (especially since I was only 25). The next thing I know she is giving speeches and pamphlets and trying to give me info on women’s shelters. I was so confused."
"She just jumped to the conclusion I must be a battered woman. No matter what I said, she was convinced I was being abused. I tried to reassure her no, my husband was definitely NOT the problem and he was actually quite good in bed and extremely attentive to my needs. It was clearly a physical problem."
"Never went back. She even called several times to 'check' on me. I get that some women may need this, but I mean there was literally no red flags, quite the opposite. It was weird."
Going to the doctor's office for any reason can cause a lot of anxiety.
Patients should never have their stresses exacerbated by an unqualified doctor giving them a false analysis or downplaying their concerns.
Hopefully, you're in good hands with a physician who is professional, as well as compassionate.
Growing up, I had zero idea that the food I ate daily was "cultural."
It didn't occur to me until I was a kid when my mother had to gently explain to me that not everyone ate rice & beans.
She had to explain it because we were about to eat at a white friend's house for the first time.
I've always been weird about food tastes and textures and mom needed to warn me that the beans I could expect would be nothing like what I knew.
They would be sweet, have big chunks of chewy pork (which would also be sweet), and would NOT be served with rice.
"What do you mean there's no rice with the beans? Did they run out? Should we bring some?"
"No, they just don't eat rice and beans."
"So what do they eat with their chicharron de pollo?"
"They don't eat that. They do fried chicken a little different and they tend to eat things like rotisserie chicken instead."
Y'all should have seen my face.
It's been thirty years and I still struggle with the idea of not eating rice and beans all the time. I've come to understand that not everyone grew up in a Caribbean cultural household, though, and most Americans ate from a whole other menu.
Reddit user remyleboi00 asked:
"Non-Americans, what is the best 'American' food?"
Even as someone born in America, it took a while before I got familiar with American food.
So if it's just not your comfort zone - let Reddit guide you to the can't miss dishes.
"Cajun food. Definitely the most unique American food"
"As an American I 100% agree with you. Cajun food is heaven sent"
"That's because of it's native American roots, fun fact Cajun peppers are named after the south American tribe that influenced the Spanish/French who brought it to Louisiana. Maque Choux is also a very native American dish that can be found in Mexico as Calabasitas."
They Are Fundesperate housewives eating GIFGiphy
"Curly fries 👌"
"Recently came across Carl’s jr for the first time in Istanbul airport and the curly fries were just the best"
"the fun thing about curly fries is that they are basically the same everywhere. I'm pretty sure it's one company supplying all the different fast food places"
"I hate to sound like an ignorant foreigner but a made from scratch Mac & Cheese with at least 3 different cheeses plus a crispy breadcrumb crust on top is one of my favorite American dishes"
"Mac & Cheese is such a favorite of family get-togethers that if you volunteer to cook it, your Mac & Cheese needs references."
"It’s especially good with some pulled pork and caramelized onions mixed in. And some insulin."
"Solid choice. We Americans LOVE cheese."
"No need to apologize. One of our favorites too."
Thankful For Thanksgiving.I Love You Cooking GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy
"I'm from Mexico and we get spoiled with our traditional cuisine but I found the thanksgiving dinner experience in the US incredible."
"Love everything, the turkey (dark meat :) ), cranberry sauce, the stuffing (oh the stuffing), mashed potatoes, salads and the delicious pays that follow for dessert. That whole combination plus the red wine and good company is an incredible experience hard to match."
"We also get spoiled with your traditional cuisine."
"I usually get a food coma on Thanksgiving"
"As an American who loves the Thanksgiving and other holiday classics this warms my heart to hear from someone whose cultural cuisine is considered a full on cultural heritage of humanity by UNESCO."
"A nicely done, quality turkey with proper attention paid to all the sides, and good friends and/family is such a great experience."
"Same with the ham or prime rib dinner at Christmas. And all the pies. God I love pumpkin pie."
"Anything smoked: brisket, pork shoulder, chicken, turkey. I've even had smoked burgers. If seasoned well you don't even need BBQ sauce and it is so tender and juicy."
"I smoke meatloaf, can't go back to oven baked ever again."
"This tread has me wanting to smoke a brisket sooner rather than later."
"I love smoked brisket. I agree with you about the sauce. Taste the brisket before dunking in another flavor."
"Native Texan here. Agreed. The general rule here is that you never sauce beef. Let the flavor of the meat stand for itself. Hell, there are some places in Texas (particularly in Lockhart) that will ask you to leave their establishment if you ask for BBQ sauce."
"Now, pork and chicken, whatever else... Go nuts... Just leave beef alone."
"I had smoked mac and cheese once, it was heavenly."
Risk It Allhungry bart simpson GIFGiphy
"This is probably a recipe for disaster but I'm British and growing up visiting Florida I would love eating raw cookie dough from the refrigerator section"
"Cookie dough is so good that, given the option between not eating it, or getting food poisoning, nearly everyone will pick the cookie dough."
"It’s one of the few foods in the country where everyone knows the risk of food poisoning, and everyone makes the conscious, willing, and eager decision to not give a f*ck."
"All of us here in the U.S. know that eating the cookie dough is the best part of making homemade chocolate chip cookies. I have a recipe for brownies with a cookie dough topping. Cookie dough ice cream is also extremely common (it’s vanilla ice cream with cookie dough bits mixed in)."
The Holy Pudding
"I can’t find someone who’s listed it so"
"That shit is LIFE CHANGING"
"Gotta have the Nilla wafers or it isn't right."
"Ah, finally! A person of culture. Banana pudding is the closest food can come to a religious experience."
Cornbread!cornbread cooking GIF by emibobGiphy
"Oddly enough, no one seems to have mentioned it…but cornbread . Yeah , as a guy who moved here , Americans have got cornbread down to a T . Combined with some soul food ? Makes me smile on the inside . Gives me high blood pressure , but smile on the inside too"
"A nice warm cornbread muffin with some butter and a little drizzle of honey is amazing."
"Cornbread with a nice bowl of chili is such a nice comfort food."
"And the spicier the chili the nicer the sweet, buttery cornbread is with it."
"Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, at first i thought it was a disgusting combo, but when i tried i loved it"
"Interesting, most people in America are introduced to pb&j before we're even old enough to remember"
"Farmer’s market jam is the way."
"That was my most frequent meal in elementary school. I didn't realize it was an American thing until recently."
"It's easily top 3 greatest sandwich ever."
As American As It Getspulp fiction breakfast GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy
"I may be a simpleton, but an average diner with bottomless filter coffee, pancakes, bacon and syrup was my favourite part of the day. Although I did put on about 10-15kg after a month in Texas"
"I missed this sooooo much when I lived in the UK (grew up in New Jersey, land of diners). They simply do not do American diner breakfasts in Europe."
"My wife is German, I am American but we live in Germany. We took her parents to the states with us one summer on vacation and one of the things they insisted we do was go to a diner where they pour your coffee at the table, like in movies and tv shows."
"Took them to my favorite little spot, they loved the waitress filling up their cups unprompted."
Now that youve heard Reddit, it's my turn.
So remember how I said that I wasn't really exposed to American food until I was a bit older, even though I was born and raised in America?
I was 22 before I had meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
FAM. Fam. Faaaaaaaaaaam.
There is no greater meal for after a night of drinking than a good meatloaf and a nice herb and garlic mashed potato.
Keep your greasy pizza, amateurs. It's potato time over here.