Thankfully, most of my professional life has happened outside of the typical corporate world. That means I've only ever been to a single glorious office holiday party. It was a perfect storm of a party. The event had an open bar and was held at an interactive museum that was within walking distance of several popular bars and night clubs. The higher-ups thought it would be a great idea to ask partygoers to share images using a specific hashtag - they figured it would make the company seem hip to potential new recruits.
We made it four hours into the night before HR sent out an email asking us to please stop using the hashtag. The company had severely underestimated the sort of stuff drunk 20-somethings are willing to share on social media - and that screenshots are forever.
One Reddit user asked:
What's your work Holiday Party "shit show" story?
Here are some of the most cringeworthy and wonderful responses. Seriously, is there any way to come back from twerking on the bosses wife? And can we all please agree to just skip the drunken co-worker karaoke as a general rule? Nobody wins, guys.
The Announcement
GiphyIt was hosted at a really nice restaurant and there was an open bar. We all arrived, had a drink, started chatting and joking around.
Then the CEO arrived and promptly called us all to attention. We assumed he would just be congratulating us on a great year and wishing us a happy holidays, but instead he announced that we would not be receiving bonuses that year and that there would be layoffs in the near future. People were PISSED.
There was basically a mad dash to the open bar and we all said "No bonuses? F*ck it, I'm drinking my bonus this year then."
The next several hours were an absolute sh!t show. More rounds of shots of top-shelf liquor than I can remember. The receptionist vomited onto her plate of filet mignon. Two coworkers had sex in the bathroom. The CEO's wife ended up passed out drunk in a chair next to the coat rack and had to be carried out.
It was glorious.
Also literally half the company called in sick the next day, and those of us who actually came in just spent the day taking turns puking in the bathroom.
Member's Balcony
We went to the races for a Christmas party, one of the girls got really high on something, pissed herself on the members balcony then pulled her drenched underwear down and threw it off the balcony into the crowd. She never came back to work after that lol
Fool Me Twice
HR had booked us into the function room of a hotel (one of these big, out of town places that do wedding receptions). Everyone had to pay £50 per head to attend, £75 for plus ones.
When we arrived, the room we'd booked already had another party in it. They'd double-booked the room and just assumed that one company wasn't going to turn up. So there's 300 people trying to share a space meant for 200 at the most. Not enough chairs or tables and no room to move.
When food came, we had to take turns eating our courses while people stood around us, waiting. The venue had lost our meal choices so it was basically "eat what we give you". The food itself had clearly been microwaved from frozen - scalding hot on the outside, still frozen in the centre.
After it became clear that this was going to be the standard for the night, the UM ordered pizzas for just our party, to be delivered to the function room. Most of those who had already eaten the food provided ended up with food poisoning.
Afterwards, we all demanded a full refund. The company got its deposit back but employees got nothing. The following year, HR booked the same venue as they'd given us a huge discount and promised that it would be better this time.
It wasn't.
"Slightly Over-Refreshed"
My employer decided that, on that particular Christmas and for the first time, staff could bring along their wives/husbands/SOs.
One of my close colleagues, slightly over-refreshed, nudged the woman he was standing next to, nodded at a male and a female colleague, both out on the dance floor, and said: "He's been shagging her all year."
The woman he was talking to was the guy's wife.
There was "a scene" in which my colleague had his lights punched out.
Company never invited SOs again.
Talent Show
Company party for about 150 people. Decide to have a "talent show" after dinner.
Initially nobody signs up. They dangle like a $100 prize.
Next thing you know Karen is showing pictures of her trip to Jamaica where she climbed up a waterfall. And the janitor is singing Copacabana karaoke style... with out music. Everyone left, the talent show was never repeated.
- Powellwx
The Graveyard Uprising
The company had a drawing for prizes. No one on swing or graveyard won a prize. A group of graveyard employees grabbed the can they were drawing names from and went through it. Only day shift workers names were in the can. When they protested, the company canned them for insubordination.
LL Cool J
GiphyProbably the time I was in my early 20s grinding up on an older lady on the dance floor to L.L. Cool J.'s "Doin' it" song. I'd say at least 50 coworkers were cheering it on. Next day, I learned that was the wife of one of the Chairmen of the Board. Thankfully, he took it in stride, and was like "She really appreciated you giving her the time of day, you should've taken her upstairs afterward". I'll admit that conversation was awkward to me, but I later learned they were swingers, so it was all good.
The Booze Cruise
We had our Holiday party on a barge whose top floor was rented out to a different company. There was only one male and female toilet per floor and one of the female party goers from that party had had way to much to drink before the meal was even served. Between dinner and dessert she stumbled down the flight of stairs pee running down her leg and falls into the men's toilet. Does her thing and falls up the stairs back up to her party. Next thing you know we hear her screaming fine then, I'll just go, and she jumps overboard into waters we all know are shark infested. Her date, knowing there is no way she can survive given how drunk she is (not even considering the sharks), empties his pockets and jumps in after her.
They had to stop the barge, call the police and end the trip for the rest of us. No idea what happened to the jumpers and I didn't get any dessert, but at least I have a good story to tell!
Different Boss Each Year
They hired out a members club so I thought it would be at least a decent standard facility. The bar was staffed by one rather grumpy older lady, someone brought a punch bowl and someone else spiked it and my friend went outside and vomited blood all over the place.
Six guys wouldn't leave me alone the entire evening because they wanted to know how I had "kept that on a tight leash" because they found my wife attractive. There was a karaoke that only one person did and they wouldn't stop doing it. Two people not married to each other got caught in the toilets together.
Oh and someone got drunk and tried to fight the boss, for the third year in a row. Different boss each year.
Questionable Lyrical Content
I was the shit show at one of my parties. They rented a live karaoke band for the event and I looked through their set list to see what they had. I noticed The Misfits "Last Caress" on there, which was a song I loved and was so different than everything else. For those of you that don't know the song it starts out with:
"I got something to say
I killed your baby today
And it doesn't matter much to me
As long as it's dead"
I thought, "Man, I kind of want to do that, but I really shouldn't." Then after many, many drinks later I was drunk enough to not care. I get up on stage and request the song. The band starts going and I get super into it just belting the lyrics into the microphone.My lip started bleeding and a coworker of mine came and got me off the stage and called me a cab.
The next day I still showed up on time, which surprised everyone and because of that I won an award for being the drunkest at the party and still showing up the next day.
- -eDgAR-
I work in the public sector, we have to pay for goddamned everything ourselves. Christmas party, tissues. I'm 7 years in and only just now am not sharing a desk with someone.
My office makes us do that. It's never more than $25 though. Like we've got the holiday bowling party coming up for our division, and that's $15. And then the directorate holiday party for $20. And nobody really blames you if you don't go, but there's tons of good prizes, so if you stick it out, you've got a good chance of getting some good stuff.
Satan Not Santa
Secondhand story: Big boss kept asking much lower level subordinates to sit on his lap while his wife sat nearby and scowled at him. He "retired" soon after. This was 20 years ago - hopefully this wouldn't fly today.
That's An Exit
Apparently one of the temps at my old work got completely wasted at the work Christmas party, then showed up the next morning at 8am (right on time), downed half a bottle of champagne in a single hit, said to nobody in particular "f--- you all. I never liked working here anyway." and left.
Nobody ever heard from her again and her contract still had three weeks left. HR made a tactical decision to leave it for a few days until they could declare she had "abandoned" her job and then got another temp in, who never heard how her predecessor left.
Stiches Over Staples
Summer party back when I was at Staples. There was this new guy, he was on his first day at the job and we had the Summer Party at our boss' house. It was the typical barbecue pool party and we were like 10-12 employees so it was pretty cool.
THis new guy just finished his first day at the job and understands that there is a party after his shift so he follows with someone else straight after his shift.
Everyone has a good time, but this dude was like a frat boy. He drank so much he ended up throwing everywhere in the pool and fell face first into the plastic tabl outside and broke it in half "WWE-style".
The thing is, he had never actually met the menager before since he got hired by the assistant manager during vacation times. The poor guy woke up the next day, still half-drunk, on the manager's couch.
THis guy kept his job because our boss was pretty chill. He eventually left Staples after working there 2 years. Best coworker I had while working there. But we always teased him about that night.
Tix'd Off
We had a white elephant gift exchange. Pretty much every gift was a bottle of alcohol or a gift card. One person selected their gift and opened it and it was just a 4 pack of toilet paper. He tried to laugh but was obviously annoyed. Acted like a brat every gift opening after. Someone gets a gift card, a sarcastic " Ohhh, wanna trade? ", or " Lucky you... ".
The last gift is opened and he just goes on a rant about how unfair it is everyone got a decent gift and he's stuck with toilet paper. Demanded to know who the cheapskate was who couldn't be bothered enough to buy a decent gift but was gladly going home with something someone else bought. A shy girl from another department raised her hand and quietly said " I brought the gift, did you look on the bottom? ". Sure enough he flips the toilet paper over and there's 2 tickets to an NBA game taped to the bottom. The guy turned red, quietly apologized, and sat down. He left like 2 minutes later without a goodbye to anyone.
Top Night
Intern at a law firm christmas party. One of the lead attorneys gathered me and all the paralegals to take tequila shots with him. The top-billing attorneys, a husband and wife team, both got hammered, took off their shoes, and began chasing each other in the ballroom shooting nerf guns at each other and the paras. Someone gave firm-branded hazmat suits as a gag gift and two other attorneys put them on and began fighting with foam swords.This was pre-Uber, so the firm paid for cabs for everyone to get home if they'd been drinking.
These workers and the world already has enough trouble without my stupid.
"So... was she impressed?"
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Kid driving his new truck down a residential street, wet from a recent rain, lost control and hit a parked car, overcorrected and rolled it once back onto its wheels up onto a lawn. He told the fire chief he had gunned it to impress his girlfriend and the chief just looked at him and asked 'So... was she impressed?'"
AntiMacro
Ricky
"I had a client once who was basically Ricky from Trailer Park Boys, loud, obnoxious, hilarious and every second word was some Maritime slang or a derivative of 'f**k.' He has been on daily eye drops for decades for dry eyes, sure ok cool. I hear screaming down the hall and run in and he's wedged against the wall and the bed just screaming 'I f**ked up boys, I dunno what the f**k is f**king happening but It's f**ked."
"Turns out he mistakenly put Jublia which is an antifungal ointment for toenails in his eye thinking it was his eye drops. The strangest part was the bottle has this miniature sponge at the end so you soak the sponge then paint it on like a gel...he painted this antifungal ointment onto his eye which immediately went red and angry then proceeded to do the other one."
"So he's at the eyewash station and I'm talking to poison control and they are pretty stunned because they have zero data on what happens to a human eyeball when it's painted in antifungal. I can hear the staff at the other end kind of snickering under her breath and she asks can you compare and contrast the eyes? Well... he put it in both eyes. The line goes silent because I can tell she is howling. Guy was totally fine but it was a standout for sure."
krzysztoflee
Will they show?
"Responded to a call of two minors being kidnapped and their parents being beaten in front of them and then taken someplace else. One was around three years and the other one was six. They were held captive in an apartment out of hundreds of residential apartments which not easy to locate, upon reaching there we found out that the boy six was just playin' with us to see if we would actually respond. Their parents were so embarrassed by all of that and vowed to not give them mobile until they are adults."
erectilereptilelol
Bowled Over
"When I was an EMT in NYC years ago we had a call for a man 'unresponsive.' We entered an upscale apartment that was a hoard: floor to ceiling newspapers and magazines, just a mess. The woman who called said her brother was in his bedroom sick."
"We entered his room and it was pretty obvious that he had already passed away. She had placed a bowl under his mouth because he had hemorrhaged which had coagulated the day before it was crazy. We asked her why she hadn’t called sooner and she said thought he’d get better?!"
"The joke around the house was 'if you have to put a bowl under a relative who is bleeding from the mouth, call 911. Don’t wait.' Never thought we’d have to advise anyone to do that. But there ya go. Also, it was Thanksgiving. Didn’t eat any cranberry sauce that year."
Sufficient-Swim-9843
God Only Knows
Married At First Sight Lol GIF by LifetimeGiphy"Had a guy call because he had the cure to Covid and needed a ride to the local education hospital so he could share it. Dude was so high on meth He ended up having 4 or 5 binders worth of scientific looking notes. God only knows what was actually in them."
Flame5135
Wow, people really need to get a grip. Of their minds.
"Sparky"
on fire GIFGiphy"One of my old bosses once built a new shed in his back yard, to replace his old, worn-out one. He moved everything from the old one to the new one, then decided that the best way to remove the old one was by burning it down. He ended up with no sheds and the nickname 'Sparky.'"
Wadsworth_McStumpy
Dead in the living room...
"Paramedic here. We responded to this 54 year old having chest pain. Man was having a heart attack. Dude didn't want to go to the hospital because it too early in the day. That's it. We tried to convince him to go. Got the ER doc to talk to him and he wouldn't budge. He signed a Refusal. Later that same night, his family found him. Dead in the living room. We got to him and started CPR, meds, everything. Dude didn't make it. When we advise you to go to the hospital, go."
Chaprito
Bad Ideas
"Got called to a shooting. A guy says he received a text message from an anonymous number saying his brother has been shot. He checks all the hospitals with no luck. He goes to his brother's apartment but gets no response at his door but sees his car and can hear the TV on. We get there, attempt to get an answer at the door."
"Eventually we kick the door in to make sure he wasn't dying in his apartment. We boot the door, announce police, and find him asleep in his bed. The guy tells us that he got a new phone number and decided to mess with his brother by texting him he had been shot. He then fell asleep and forgot about the text and was woken up by us. So many wasted resources on his idiotic prank."
TheDOC816
The Swimmer
"Got called to a priority job. The caller was kayaking in a lake and said that there was an unresponsive male in the water. So off we went, lights and sirens. We requested paramedics and fire to attend as well for the rescue operation. There were about 6 emergency vehicles attending including a rescue boat. We got there within minutes and met the caller who showed us where the guy was."
"He was just swimming, minding his own business. The caller said he was unresponsive, but really he was just ignoring her. Had a chat with the guy, he seemed alright, said he swims here every day and likes the quiet. No issues. Would have been nice if the caller told the operator that he was still conscious and swimming rather than 'unresponsive.'"
amazingbecauseitis
Chew Slowly
Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Well, I was taking a lady home from dialysis and she decided to eat a snickers in the back of the ambulance, and she started choking. Had to do the heimlich, and tell her to finish her food at home."
HotSoupInYourA**
If it's not a true emergency dial 311. Please.
As if knowledge isn't scary enough, let's her more...
Hello Terry
paint surgery GIF by gifnewsGiphy"Some tumors have teeth, hair and even eyes."
Twat_Waffle_Stomp
"My sister had one minus the eyes! It was cantaloupe sized on one of her ovaries before it was found. She named it Terry the Teratoma."
Karina_is_my_cat
Hungry Bacteria
"Brain-eating amoebas."
dark_n_lovely_qu33n
"My best friend and bunk mate from summer camp died from one of those when I was in 7th grade. Happened so quickly, we were a week into camp and he got really sick. They gave us all heavy meningitis shots because they didn’t know what it was and within a few days he was dead. Turned out to be a brain eating amoeba."
"Edit: strangely enough on the same day he started getting sick one of the lifeguards that was sitting out in a boat waiting for the next group of kids for what we called Trojans Vs. Spartans day had a seizure, fell off the boat and drowned. Only deaths they’d ever had in the 50+ years the camp had been open."
Csharp27
Far Far Away
"The size of our galaxy, how many other galaxies there are and how far away they are. When you can actually see something that incomprehensible.."
Jfonzy
"The nearest star to us would take the Voyager 70,000 years to reach. The nearest galaxy to ours would take the Voyager 749,000,000 years. If we some how managed to take on the monstrous task of speed of light travel it would still take 25,000 years to reach the nearest galaxy. And it's even further apart after you read this. Wild stuff!"
ConqueredCorn
Head Changes
"How the brain is literally rewired and chemically altered by childhood neglect and abuse."
petalumaisreal
"It's genuinely kinda freaky, playing a puzzle game, and noticing how quickly you're getting better at it. The kind of puzzles that were a real blocker in the beginning become baby-easy after like an hour of playing puzzles like it."
LtLabcoat
"My sister faced horrible abuse at the hands of our father, and she has been working through it with multiple therapists over the last 10 years and she is only now starting to get her life back. I feel like she was robbed at a fair chance at life because of our a**hole father."
Pehdazur
Awake
Bill Murray Im Here GIF by Groundhog DayGiphy"Prions, horrific and totally unpredictable."
geordiesteve520
"Fatal familial insomnia is a prions disease where you can't sleep anymore, you just stay awake until your brain deteriorates and you die."
DrinknEspresso
Now I can never UNKNOW about prions. Perfect.
Days gone by...
Aging Matt Damon GIFGiphy"Ageing. I'm content with death but the idea of my body growing old, frail and eventually falling apart before the end game gives me goosebumps."
EvidenceOfInnocence
Bursts
"Gamma ray bursts. No warning, no escape, no defense, no survivors."
Swampwolf42
"If you're talking about supernovas if the star isn't too close the gamma burst would probably only destroy some part of our ozone layer. And gamma radiation is actually the least lethal out of all types of waves."
Broccoli_sauce24
Sizzle
"Entropy. Time shall consume all things. Inevitable heat death of the universe."
Revolutionary_Elk420
"I personally want the 'Big Crunch' to be true. That instead of fizzling out it all gets sucked back into an infinitely small/dense particle and then another Big Bang happens. It’s my explanation for the multiverse. It’s all one timeline. Just infinitely long."
ChoppyWAL99
They're Watching
"More like a theory, the 'orangutan paradox,' when we film a documentary on orangutans, they can’t realize that we are observing them, yet they are the most intelligent species of their category, so aliens might be watching us and we are as oblivious as an orangutan."
Time_Succotash
Fade 2 Silent
Listen Scooby Doo GIF by MashedGiphy"That hearing is the last sense to leave, when dying."
User Deleted
Well that is the antithesis of comfort. Life is so fun.
Redditor Ebo8000 wanted to know:
"What is your most controversial take on Star Wars?"
Doors
"LASERS LOCK DOORS. LASERS OPEN DOORS. LASERS KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE DOOR TO DO."
- SlamVanDamn
"But if you get past the door and close it behind you and you don’t want anyone to follow you through it…"
"…you shoot the bloody door panel!"
- treeonwheels
"Also, f*cking hell, we're in the future (or in the past), whatever, and people have better technology."
"Why put the door control RIGHT NEXT to the door? Put the door control system in a breaker box."
"Build every door so in case of malfunction they all shut closed (after all, they're in space and you don't want to lose air in decompression, do you?)"
"Shoot the breaker box, now the whole floor is closed until someone can figure out what happened."
"Almost look like those doors just exist as dramatic elements..."
- smegma_yogurt
GiphyThe Past
"I’d like a film about when the Republic was at its height. 1,000 generations is 25,000 years and we’ve had 9 movies about the last 60."
- Musickat18
The Future
"Not sure if controversial but they need to take the franchise and yeet it 200 years in the future."
"I'm tired of the Empire era where they need to justify why more than 2 Jedi and 2 Sith exist at one moment alongside knowing everything is pointless until Luke leaves the farm."
- Alandrus_sun
Design Fail? No!
"The Death Stars weren't badly designed they were just badly managed."
"Yes, designing them assuming large scale assaults was stupid given the political state of the galaxy but the second Death Star wasn't even finished so that doesn't count, it's all Palpatine's fault. As for the first one that was finished, the Alliance made three runs on the exhaust port."
"The first was called off before they made it to the trench, the second failed and the third was carried out by space Jesus which isn't exactly fair."
"All in all it sounds like a fairly effective defence when you consider the design philosophy."
- Engeneus
GiphyCool Factor
"The entire universe has a cool factor that outweighs the atrocious storytelling."
- Ozty
"Bro imagine the following movies, but if they were in Star Wars universe."
"Magnificent 7 - A Jedi, Bounty Hunter, Ex-Imperial, Pilot, Wookie, a Droid, and Lawman team up to defend a town against pirates"
"Dredd - Two Jedi climb up an apartment block to confront a new dark side user who has mental control of the entire apartment block"
"Supernatural (T.V. Show) - A Jedi and their apprentice go around and solve and defeat Dark Side Force spots—where the Force consolidates from emotions and creates foul creatures to fight"
"Top Gun - But it's you know, Wedge or something"
"Ford versus Ferrari - But it's podracing or swoop racing"
- BoutsofInsanity
Ships
"Something about the ships in the original series always felt more like real ships than in any of the later movies, despite the objectively better effects of the later films."
"Some of this is probably the use of models (i.e. actual three dimensional objects), but I think there is some critical difference in the design that makes them feel more real (probably because they were designed to be things that would actually work as models)."
"Whatever it is, I LOVED the ships in the original series and never really liked any of the new ones."
- UnspecificGravity
"The original trilogy changed the world by showing a universe in space that was dirty and lived in. The special effects from the later movies did not recognize this."
GiphyBoba who?
"Boba Fett is an oddly overrated background character, and even after watching The Book of Boba Fett, I don’t really care about him."
- imidoesonlyfans
"He was never a character. He was a cool helmet."
- JimPlaysGames
"He was a cool jetpack too."
- RipperFromYT
GiphyTime for the weather...
"Han is actually older than Obi-Wan due to Time Dilation."
- Snowbofreak
"Time dilation in a universe where every planet and moon has the same gravity and atmosphere?"
- suman_issei
"And just 1 biome."
- DogShampoop
"That way they only need one Weather Channel per planet."
- The_Most_Superb
"And over to Klaatu for the Tatooine weather report. Klaatu?"
"It's still sunny."
- Budsygus
GiphyThese are the droids we're looking for.
"Star Wars is actually the life story of C-3PO—think about it."
- jonguy77
"I disagree. I think its R2-D2's story. He had a much greater presence in Episode 1, 2 and 3, and got the same amount of screen time as C-3PO in 4, 5 and 6."
‐ MacGregor_Rose
GiphyFan is short for fanatic.
"Fans ruined the whole franchise."
- SeaworthinessNo5209
Ouch...
So, did your controversial Star Wars opinion make the list?
Hollywood hasn't helped, as movies and TV have typically portrayed death as something sinister and violent.
How could anyone be convinced death is a peaceful transition, and that what awaits on the other side is actually an unimaginable utopia?
Curious to hear strangers' thoughts about death, Redditor GoodNess2020 invoked a quote by an iconic literary figure and asked:
"Mark Twain once said, 'I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.' Why do you agree/disagree with his statement?"
People clarified what actually terrified them most about death
The Process
"I don't fear being dead. I fear dying."
– magicbluemonkeydog
"Yeah, that's usually the issue. It's why that quote doesn't mean much, to a lot of people."
"It's not a fear of eventually dying and not existing anymore. It's the act of dying itself. He didn't constantly die for all of time. He just wasn't alive."
– appleparkfive
Concept Of Loss
"To have not existed for billions of years is to have spent billions of years never knowing loss. To die is to know loss."
"If you look into a new bank account and see zero dollars, it’s nothing. If you look into a bank account that once had a million dollars and see there’s nothing in there, you’ll know it’s absence."
– -CrestiaBell
People provided an analogy to articulate what ceasing to exist must feel like.
It's About Time
"Time is only relevant to you when you are alive. He is right. Have you ever been sedated for surgery? You go under, and then instantly wake up and procedure is done.... or you died so no worries."
– 20190419
Consciousness Is Life
"You won’t be feeling anything in death though is the thing. That infinite/instant sensation was a living feeling, you just weren’t conscious for it - your body experienced it anyways. No body, no experience."
– Parradog1
Like Being Under
"That is very true, but for me, that's the closest amalgamation of what it probably feels like."
"No one can tell you what actual death will be like. It's impossible for you to experience nothingness."
"Thinking about death can be paralysing sometimes, and when I remember that the closest thing i can link as an experience I had, being put under, was actually sort of pleasant. I then think maybe death will be like that, and honestly it doesn't seem that bad."
– IamEclipse
When In Deep Sleep
"Yeah in contrast to sleep where you can actually feel like time has passed when you wake up."
– GreyFoxMe
Think Line Between Death And Slumber
"As CGPGrey puts it, your bed might very well be a suicide machine."
"Given our lack of understanding for the fundamental processes of our sentience, it's entirely possible that when you fall asleep, your mind is functionally killed, disassembled, analyzed, sorted, tweaked, and adjusted by your biology, before being reassembled when you wake. Every night."
– Mazon_Del
People opened up about their insecurities around the concept of death.
Fear Of What Comes Next
"I’m just paranoid that something does happen after death and it’s just based on one thing that you didn’t know about."
– PsychoDog_Music
The Circle Of Death
"There’s nothing to fear in oblivion. Unless, of course, your consciousness survives death. If so, it would be reasonable to fear the sensation of consciousness without senses, suspended alone in the cosmos, with no one to hear you, and no way to make yourself known. No reference point for counting time – a count that does not matter anyway in a literal eternity."
"You might wish that you still had a corporeal form, only so that you could make your mouth move to express your terror, to make the universal form of a terrified scream – the form of a letter O."
"But you won’t be able to. You just won’t!"
"This has been the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner. Brought to you by shame, loneliness, and the letter..."
"O....."
– CecilSpeaksInItalics
When Faith Fails You
"what do you mean I'm going to hell?! I was a good person and attended church regularly!"
"Ah yes, but you failed to put a blue feather in your hat and then turn in circles the times praising God Almighty on the fifth Sunday after your twelfth birthday. To the pit with you!!!"
– phormix
There is an poignant episode from the Twilight Zone that brought me a sense of peace surrounding the concept of death.
Death was embodied by a handsome police officer who had been shot–played by a young Robert Redford–and begs to be let into the home of an elderly woman who had been living in perpetual fear of meeting "Mr. Death."
As the episode continues, she discovers much to her dismay that she welcomed Death into her home, but he warmly reassures her there is nothing to fear.
The episode ends with her finally offering her hand to Death after much protest, and they peacefully walk out together, arm in arm, into the light.
It was sweet and beautifully done. The 1962 episode was titled, "Nothing in the Dark."
That's how I imagine it to be.
A dashing Prince of Darkness telling me it's time to join him in guiding me to the other side.