
Image by Sarah Richter from Pixabay |
There is always that "one." There is always going to be that person.
That person who you will always remember. And when they are the one who you regret losing most... they are the ghost that will haunt you forever.
I have a few escapees. I'll never know how it would've turned out. But that is part of why I'm haunted. I need to discuss....
Redditor u/AssistantNo1733 wanted to discuss all the times we've lost in love by asking:
Who's the one who got away?
Do we even have a clue that they're the "one" that got away? How long until it sinks in? And how do we not know there isn't another "one" coming behind them? I have no answers. Just asking...
The Draft
"The girl who summoned up the nerve to ask me out towards the beginning of high school. I was so humiliated by the life my family was living that I stalled until she gave up."
"Betsy, if by some stroke of dumb luck you're reading this... I'm so sorry. It was 25-27 years ago, but I still hate myself for that. You were beautiful, intelligent, a good person, and if I had anything resembling a stable, presentable home I would've said yes in a heartbeat... I had a crush on you since 7th-grade 'intro to drafting.'
I Love Her
"Weird, I was just confiding in my mom about this last night. I'm late but for catharsis's sake I'm going to post. My first girlfriend is a classic case of you don't know what you have until it's gone. She's the complete package. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and so kind. We started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 21."
"For reference I'm 30 now. I was an idiot. I wanted to play the field. I wanted to party and hook up with college girls. It was fun at first but after a while I felt this gnawing hole in my heart. The feeling of doubt crept up slowly and still, a decade later my chest feels tight thinking about it."
"I didn't realize until my later serious relationships that getting along with your SO's family is so important. Her mom and step dad genuinely treated me like a part of their family. It's not a stretch to say I literally grew up with these people. I spent some of my most formative years with them. Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, you name it. They celebrated me and my accomplishments. They genuinely cared about me. Just amazing, salt of the earth, lovely people."
"Her birthday was in March and I sent her a text and we ended up talking for a bit. She's happily married and stable with a daughter and a second on the way. I'm genuinely so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I just wish I was a part of that. Sitting at work 10 years later I'm tearing up. I numbed myself out to it for years, it's so strange to me that I've been so stuck on her lately. Is this normal?"
- direct07
15 Years Later
"My very first real love. I was a teenager and I didn't really know how to be comfortable in myself or with myself. I played silly teen girl games and lost him even as a friend. Now 15 years later I still think about R from time to time. I genuinely hope he's happy in his life."
"Edit: Wow this blew up while I was sleeping. Thanks for all the sweet words and to everyone with their "one" congratulations! I suppose I hadn't looked him up on social media because I'm scared, scared he won't respond, scared he will respond, scared he'll think I'm a stalker. I'm in a happy relationship now, but what if... Etc etc etc. But I'll give it a Google."
Missed You Much
A girl I dated in high school. Went on a date one time she took me out parking and I was too stupid to realize it.
"She always talked about moving away as soon as she got finished with high school. I always thought I would stay in a little town the rest of my life. Turns out I was the one who left and move to another state. Later I heard that she had told someone that I knew that she thought that we would be married at some point. Missed it by that much."
Ok... I've been a bit blind to the light. People can be cruel, but also highly creative. Why not just lead with the truth? It'll always hurt more after lies.
Chuck E.
"Ah the rare AskReddit question I can answer."
"I met a wonderful woman circa 2013-2015. We worked at what I can best describe as an upscaled Chuck E Cheese. Or ghetto Six Flags. Your choice."
"We hit it off instantly, though at the time I was rather romantically inept. Eventually, she says she's leaving to join the Air Force. I tell her I'll miss her, and wished her well. The thought of asking for her number so we could stay in contact didn't even cross my mind."
"Cue the next day, I stop for lunch on my way to work, and as I'm walking to my car I hear my name being called. I turn around, and it's her, running toward me. Universe giving me a second chance, right? Wrong. My dumb butt still didn't ask for her number. She looked a little upset, and I still think about her often. Desiree, I hope you're doing well."
The Getaway...
"He was my first and last love. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met. We bounced around like idiots, on again off again, finally got together mid 20s. We both fell into bad habits - drugs and alcohol, more booze for me, more drugs for him. We had some bad things happen that were pretty detrimental to staying sober. We would split, reconcile, get sober, fall off the wagon, split, etc... repeat as necessary. We realized we were very bad for each other unless we could BOTH just get sober for ourselves, and split."
"Ten years later, I was sober for 7 years (still am, going on 18 years end of this month, actually! Woo, go me!) and he was beginning to come back, sober about a year. He contacted me, we met, talked about trying again. He said that once he had been totally clean for a year, we'd do it. That whole "Don't make any changes for a year" thing. I would visit him, tho, things were good."
"He woke up one morning feeling bad, thought he had the flu. (This was pre-now) I stayed around because he was sick, but neither of us thought he was drastically bad, just the flu, right? He got worse and worse, finally we called an ambulance because he got up from a nap and couldn't breathe. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Aortic dissection."
"He got away, but someday I'll see him again. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We just weren't good for each other."
Ce la vie...
"My most serious Ex."
"Don't think I truly understood love until I met her. Loved her more than I ever thought I could love anything. It eventually ended when she told me that, through no fault of my own, she had fallen out of love with me. That was 2 years ago, still hurts to think/talk about."
"Ce la vie..."
The Avoid...
"I'm in the middle of trying to avoid that right now actually."
"It's not worth the heartache trust me. I fought to stay in a relationship for an entire year. If I would've just let her go the first time she wanted there would've been a lot less pain. We would've left on good terms. I would've lost a lot less sleep. Rip the band-aid off because once the band-aid starts peeling it's inevitable it'll fall off with time."
"My ex and I broke up over 3 years ago. Mutual breakup through a lack of communication on both ends I feel."
"Thought I was over that hill until this week she messaged just to say hey and ask an innocent question. We text for the best part of the day and it's brought up a lot of old feeling. Feeling pretty bitter sweet right now."
The Breaks...
"I watched him get married to someone, then someone else after that and have about 10 kids. I live alone with my dog and am still single. Thems is indeed the breaks."
The Pusher
"Was with someone who was afraid to commit because of their past relationship. She just wanted sex. I wanted a real relationship. She ended up pushing me away. I stopped contact. Maybe I should have kept contact, but from what I've heard I dodged a bullet. Still think about her everyday. It's funny how such a relatively short relationship can have such a lasting impact."
It was HER!
"The first and only woman I truly ever loved. I was so broken at that time and f'd up royally. I've seen her one time since. Everything flooded back like it was yesterday. All I can hope is that someone else makes me feel the same way someday."
Wrong Choice
"Ex boyfriend told me 'its me or the dog'. I knew I didn't have the money to be on my own and take care of the dog. Thought maybe I could make it work with him so gave the dog up."
"...should've tried to keep the dog."
Paths
"Me. Other versions of my life. I can point to specific moments where I made a clear binary choice that I know would have sent me down a different path. Conscious choices. I often wonder who I would have been if I had chosen differently."
"For example, in the spirit of this question, a boy who I had been massively obsessed with for a long time called me one evening about 25 years ago. He and I had had a falling out two years previously and I had to get over it. I had developed a new crush on someone else in the subsequent two years. I was getting ready to go out to meet newer obsession and didn't answer the phone on time."
"I heard his voice over the answering machine, and stood there, knowing if I picked up the phone I was going to meet him where ever and whenever he wanted and that would be it for the newer relationship. I did not pick it up. I did not call him back. I am married to second guy, happily. I like my choice. I just know I could have walked down a very different road."
"Anyway, there are a handful of specific moments I can point to like this. Who would I be? The trousers of time."
- 2beagles
Not a Person
"We were looking to buy our first house, found one that looked PERFECT. It was on the market for a price that was a little out of our range and higher than the houses around it. Our agent was a friend and told us to put an offer in anyway, you never know. The guy never responded, and our agent discovered she actually knew the homeowner's agent. The homeowner was a huge rude moron and in all kinds of debt he was hoping to get out of by way overcharging for the house, and it turned out our offer was almost exactly what the house had been appraised for."
"But ehh, nothing we could do. We settled for another house. Out of curiosity, I'd check back in on the dream house every few months, and watched the price drop and drop, bit by bit. Eventually it sold for LESS than what we'd offered. Still kind of salty about it."
The Cheesy
"Myself. Cheesy, but I always find myself wishing I didn't settle down so young. Sometimes I wish I would have waited until I understood what I truly wanted in a relationship before I committed and had children. I've been with the same person since I was sixteen and that person doesn't have the qualities I am now interested in, but I still love them and life is complicated."
Just Gone
"The only girl I ever really loved. About 9 months ago. One day, we were happy, and everything's perfect. The next day, it all fell apart."
"There was no argument. No disagreement. No warnings. She just left. I'll admit it, she has her reasons, and I don't blame her for any of it. Still hurts like it happened yesterday. I'm not sure I'll ever get over her, but I have come to accept it. I question if I'll ever be able to face her again without that depression creeping its way back into my head."
More or Less
"This is going to sound really depressing, but you have to let someone get close before they can be the one who got away. I have a hard time letting that happen, so I can't really point to any one relationship as the one who got away. As for the relationships I have had, I never really pined for any of them after it ended. Most of them are married and happy now, so I can't help but be happy for them."
"It sucks, but there's no hard feelings. At least not towards them. There's plenty towards myself, but that's more or less how it goes for me in general."
Hey Doc
"Dr Chip: You were in medical school and I just turned 21 -- we had an amazing summer and then for what-ever reason, my stupidity got the best of me and I broke it off."
"I met you decades later by chance. You are a successful Doctor, and have an amazing husband; who all your friends called him my twin in almost every way. *sigh* What might have been."
The Beauty
"The girl I dated in senior year. She was the one who asked me out, we dated for a few months, but then I started meeting her friends and they were some of the people I didn't like in high school. I ended things because who you chose to be around says a lot about you. She ditched those friends because they were friends in name only, and moved out to the west coast to become a model."
Love is a mess. Why even bother trying if you can't be true? It's not hard to just spell out the situation. And if you're the one needing to put together the words... look closer. The dialogue shouldn't be difficult.
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Some people like sweets, some people like alcohol, some people are willing to spend extra money a month just to have full access to all 14 seasons of their favorite obscure Canadian detective show.
You don't judge us, we won't judge you.
Reddit was asked:
"What is a guilty pleasure for you ?"
...and ... like ... we honestly feel kind of bonded in non-shame over this stuff.
Because it's all just SO GOOOOOOOOD!
It's Britney ...
"Playing Britney Spears’ music on 11 when I’m in the car all by myself. Especially 'Work Bitch' when I’m on the way to work an extra shift."
-nancydrew1224
"Toxic is an undeniably fantastic song."
-TheBrontosaurus
"It's such a weird mix of elements. Obviously you have Britney's pop singing, but it also mixes harsh strings with synth electro and a lot of rock elements. It blurs several genres together, and accordingly fits well next to other genres of music."
-Nambot
Those Golden Arches
"McDonald’s"
"I regret my choice right after finishing my meal. But not enough to prevent me from going back the next week lol"
-Candidmirror12
"Why did you say the word? I've been clean for three months straight!"
-realfoodman
"Yep."
"I get a craving 2-3 times a year. Same damned order every time. Large #1 value meal with a coke and a cheeseburger."
"I love their little chopped onions"
"Did you know that the Coke syrup formula for McDonald’s is different than what you get at home or other restaurants? It’s actually sweeter per McDonald’s request and specifications"
-mlgbt1985
Can't Run
"The Tremors anthology. Bad B-rated horror but god DAMN do I love me some graboids."
-BolognaIsNotAHat
"The first movie is legitimately excellent. The rest are stupid syfy level movies that are still a ton of fun."
-Taynt42
"The second one is also not terrible. Felt like a well measured escalation. The 3rd one on, though... SMH."
-Hotarg
"You ever have something be so bad that it loops itself back around into being awesome? That's this."
- [Reddit]
Perfect Mood Lifter
"Watching kid shows or disney movies even though I'm an adult."
-BanGinGDreams
"Phineas and Ferb."
"I honestly love to cruise the country side with my biker group, smoke half a pack, get home crack a beer and see what Phineas and Ferb did today."
"I'm a 28 year old man."
-Tiger_In_Maine
"Cartoons are good for the soul. Visually pleasing to watch. Good stories. Usually have some safe humor. Always end on a feel good tone. The perfect mood lifter when you're feeling down."
-GingerJayPear
Go Go Power Rangers
"Power rangers lore."
"I'm 28, can't get myself to sit through the kids shows anymore. But man did I love the series growing up and like keeping up with the new stories and seeing how it's going."
"My significant other would pretty much leave me if she found out how much I'm still addicted to keeping up with a show that I should have dropped 20 years ago."
-PN-DUBS
"Full stop, check out the comics. They were made for people that watched it as children and are adults now and they are honestly nothing short of incredible between the art and storylines. They do some really rad stuff."
-ForSafeKeeping220
Digging
"Picking my nose. I know it’s a bad habit but it’s nostalgic"
-VictoryIsMudkipz
"Kinda same it's not just gross but I also feel like it makes my nostrils bigger so I feel even more guilty 😭"
-getawaycar7H13
"There are two kinds of people in the world. People who pick their nose and liars"
-energy_falcon
Terribly Delicious
"Bad coffee."
"Like you go to a chrome-plated diner by the interstate and the coffee is made of cheap, stale grounds that has been on the hot plate or 3 hours. Something about it is super nostalgic."
-MutantOverlord
"Hell yes. I'll get like 5 refills on that tiny ass cup, tyvm"
-stoncils_
"Just terrible enough to want another cup."
-caseyd1020
Later
"Procrastinating….I hate myself for it"
-Usual-Difference9135
"I was going to comment the same but figured it could wait."
-C0rnD0g1
"I usually have two or three things on the go at once. So when I feel like procrastinating, I switch to one of the other things. My job has become literally me always procrastinating."
-StGir1
T.Swift
"I, on some occasions, belt out Taylor Swift’s 'Our Song' when I’m alone"
-nenolpunk
"I do it too but with 'The Story of Us' "
-SoonlyXo
"Taylor Swift's old songs are the best songs"
-AwesomeSpindleberry
"It’s this or 'Teardrops on My Guitar' because wow. Hit me in my teen feels."
"Who is Drew? I don't know, but I’ll sing about them regardless"
-nenolpunk
Hipster ASMR
"Before I discovered ASMR, I used to secretly watch videos of makeup tutorials because they made me feel relaxed. I'm a guy who's never worn make up in my life."
-SXOSXO
"I'm a man in my 30s. I love the cosplay tutorials from Alyson Tabbitha."
-amadeus2490
"Literally same!!! I watch NikkieTutorials or Naomi Jon! Like I personally don’t wear make up but I love the art behind it"
-patzzxd
So tell us, what's your pleasure? And do you HONESTLY feel guilty about it?
Go ahead and talk about it in the comments, I've got a certain Canadian Detective to check up on.
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Love or money?
An age old question.
Ideally, you wouldn't have to decide between the two.
In a perfect world, you would be able to find the true love of your life and be incredibly wealthy all at once.
But, as the saying goes, you can't have everything.
Though if faced with having to choose between the two, people might have a different idea of what the obvious answer would be.
Redditor lulinghayaw was curious how people would decide when faced with this decision, leading them to ask:
"Genuine, true love or 5 million dollars? Why?"
My love is worth more than that.
"True love because my true love is 5 trillion dollars."- ImOnARush.
Freedom to do what you love.
"I'm gonna be really honest, I'd choose 5 million dollars."
"Having that much money means financial stability."
"It means not having to work for money - that wouldn't mean not working ever again, but doing a job you really love even if it doesn't pay well."
"I would be able to study without worrying about burdening my parents."
"I could achieve my dream of getting multiple degrees."
"Money isn't just money, it's opportunities."
"Without having to worry about money, I could focus on improving myself in every way - getting healthier, studying more, having a stable routine, reading a lot, overall becoming the best version of myself."
"I'll have plenty of time to find true love, improve relationships with friends and family and everything else."- lux_blue.
Money over love any day- no matter the amount.
"5 dollars."- SpaZzzmanian_Devil.
"SHOW ME THE MONEY."- _starvingartist.
How much is true love worth.
"Money."
"Love can't pay my bills."- LiteLit.
Money can't buy happiness.
"True love."
"Moneys cool and all, but I'd much rather be in a loving relationship."- WhiskersCleveland.
But money can buy a lot of other things...
"5 mil, I’ll wipe my tears with hundreds."- Weary_Gate7941.
True love...with a rich partner.
"Genuine true love."
"It didn't say my partner and I would be poor."- moonIightbaby.
"The greatest thing, you'll ever learn..."
"True love."
"I have been alone all my life."
"I’ve always had toxic friends because i told myself i deserved it, i told myself 'at least they want to be friends with me'."
"I have a narcissistic mother and a dad that isn’t emotionally there because of his own trauma."
"I have a sister that flat out ignores me when I talk and my other siblings are too young for me to have the kind of bond that i need right now."
"I have an amazing best friend but it’s different than having someone that loves me and i love back."
"If you had asked me a month ago i would’ve said 5 million."
"I would’ve been lying."
"If you had asked a year ago I would’ve said 5 million and I would’ve been telling the truth. true love is priceless."
"I’ll be winning 4 million on the lottery tho."- 76543210987654321.
Some might say being truly, madly in love feels like having five million dollars.
While others might feel that having five million dollars feels even better than being in love.
Others might simply strive for a little bit of each.
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It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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