
Image by Sarah Richter from Pixabay |
There is always that "one." There is always going to be that person.
That person who you will always remember. And when they are the one who you regret losing most... they are the ghost that will haunt you forever.
I have a few escapees. I'll never know how it would've turned out. But that is part of why I'm haunted. I need to discuss....
Redditor u/AssistantNo1733 wanted to discuss all the times we've lost in love by asking:
Who's the one who got away?
Do we even have a clue that they're the "one" that got away? How long until it sinks in? And how do we not know there isn't another "one" coming behind them? I have no answers. Just asking...
The Draft
"The girl who summoned up the nerve to ask me out towards the beginning of high school. I was so humiliated by the life my family was living that I stalled until she gave up."
"Betsy, if by some stroke of dumb luck you're reading this... I'm so sorry. It was 25-27 years ago, but I still hate myself for that. You were beautiful, intelligent, a good person, and if I had anything resembling a stable, presentable home I would've said yes in a heartbeat... I had a crush on you since 7th-grade 'intro to drafting.'
I Love Her
"Weird, I was just confiding in my mom about this last night. I'm late but for catharsis's sake I'm going to post. My first girlfriend is a classic case of you don't know what you have until it's gone. She's the complete package. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and so kind. We started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 21."
"For reference I'm 30 now. I was an idiot. I wanted to play the field. I wanted to party and hook up with college girls. It was fun at first but after a while I felt this gnawing hole in my heart. The feeling of doubt crept up slowly and still, a decade later my chest feels tight thinking about it."
"I didn't realize until my later serious relationships that getting along with your SO's family is so important. Her mom and step dad genuinely treated me like a part of their family. It's not a stretch to say I literally grew up with these people. I spent some of my most formative years with them. Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, you name it. They celebrated me and my accomplishments. They genuinely cared about me. Just amazing, salt of the earth, lovely people."
"Her birthday was in March and I sent her a text and we ended up talking for a bit. She's happily married and stable with a daughter and a second on the way. I'm genuinely so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I just wish I was a part of that. Sitting at work 10 years later I'm tearing up. I numbed myself out to it for years, it's so strange to me that I've been so stuck on her lately. Is this normal?"
- direct07
15 Years Later
"My very first real love. I was a teenager and I didn't really know how to be comfortable in myself or with myself. I played silly teen girl games and lost him even as a friend. Now 15 years later I still think about R from time to time. I genuinely hope he's happy in his life."
"Edit: Wow this blew up while I was sleeping. Thanks for all the sweet words and to everyone with their "one" congratulations! I suppose I hadn't looked him up on social media because I'm scared, scared he won't respond, scared he will respond, scared he'll think I'm a stalker. I'm in a happy relationship now, but what if... Etc etc etc. But I'll give it a Google."
Missed You Much
A girl I dated in high school. Went on a date one time she took me out parking and I was too stupid to realize it.
"She always talked about moving away as soon as she got finished with high school. I always thought I would stay in a little town the rest of my life. Turns out I was the one who left and move to another state. Later I heard that she had told someone that I knew that she thought that we would be married at some point. Missed it by that much."
Ok... I've been a bit blind to the light. People can be cruel, but also highly creative. Why not just lead with the truth? It'll always hurt more after lies.
Chuck E.
"Ah the rare AskReddit question I can answer."
"I met a wonderful woman circa 2013-2015. We worked at what I can best describe as an upscaled Chuck E Cheese. Or ghetto Six Flags. Your choice."
"We hit it off instantly, though at the time I was rather romantically inept. Eventually, she says she's leaving to join the Air Force. I tell her I'll miss her, and wished her well. The thought of asking for her number so we could stay in contact didn't even cross my mind."
"Cue the next day, I stop for lunch on my way to work, and as I'm walking to my car I hear my name being called. I turn around, and it's her, running toward me. Universe giving me a second chance, right? Wrong. My dumb butt still didn't ask for her number. She looked a little upset, and I still think about her often. Desiree, I hope you're doing well."
The Getaway...
"He was my first and last love. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met. We bounced around like idiots, on again off again, finally got together mid 20s. We both fell into bad habits - drugs and alcohol, more booze for me, more drugs for him. We had some bad things happen that were pretty detrimental to staying sober. We would split, reconcile, get sober, fall off the wagon, split, etc... repeat as necessary. We realized we were very bad for each other unless we could BOTH just get sober for ourselves, and split."
"Ten years later, I was sober for 7 years (still am, going on 18 years end of this month, actually! Woo, go me!) and he was beginning to come back, sober about a year. He contacted me, we met, talked about trying again. He said that once he had been totally clean for a year, we'd do it. That whole "Don't make any changes for a year" thing. I would visit him, tho, things were good."
"He woke up one morning feeling bad, thought he had the flu. (This was pre-now) I stayed around because he was sick, but neither of us thought he was drastically bad, just the flu, right? He got worse and worse, finally we called an ambulance because he got up from a nap and couldn't breathe. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Aortic dissection."
"He got away, but someday I'll see him again. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We just weren't good for each other."
Ce la vie...
"My most serious Ex."
"Don't think I truly understood love until I met her. Loved her more than I ever thought I could love anything. It eventually ended when she told me that, through no fault of my own, she had fallen out of love with me. That was 2 years ago, still hurts to think/talk about."
"Ce la vie..."
The Avoid...
"I'm in the middle of trying to avoid that right now actually."
"It's not worth the heartache trust me. I fought to stay in a relationship for an entire year. If I would've just let her go the first time she wanted there would've been a lot less pain. We would've left on good terms. I would've lost a lot less sleep. Rip the band-aid off because once the band-aid starts peeling it's inevitable it'll fall off with time."
"My ex and I broke up over 3 years ago. Mutual breakup through a lack of communication on both ends I feel."
"Thought I was over that hill until this week she messaged just to say hey and ask an innocent question. We text for the best part of the day and it's brought up a lot of old feeling. Feeling pretty bitter sweet right now."
The Breaks...
"I watched him get married to someone, then someone else after that and have about 10 kids. I live alone with my dog and am still single. Thems is indeed the breaks."
The Pusher
"Was with someone who was afraid to commit because of their past relationship. She just wanted sex. I wanted a real relationship. She ended up pushing me away. I stopped contact. Maybe I should have kept contact, but from what I've heard I dodged a bullet. Still think about her everyday. It's funny how such a relatively short relationship can have such a lasting impact."
It was HER!
"The first and only woman I truly ever loved. I was so broken at that time and f'd up royally. I've seen her one time since. Everything flooded back like it was yesterday. All I can hope is that someone else makes me feel the same way someday."
Wrong Choice
"Ex boyfriend told me 'its me or the dog'. I knew I didn't have the money to be on my own and take care of the dog. Thought maybe I could make it work with him so gave the dog up."
"...should've tried to keep the dog."
Paths
"Me. Other versions of my life. I can point to specific moments where I made a clear binary choice that I know would have sent me down a different path. Conscious choices. I often wonder who I would have been if I had chosen differently."
"For example, in the spirit of this question, a boy who I had been massively obsessed with for a long time called me one evening about 25 years ago. He and I had had a falling out two years previously and I had to get over it. I had developed a new crush on someone else in the subsequent two years. I was getting ready to go out to meet newer obsession and didn't answer the phone on time."
"I heard his voice over the answering machine, and stood there, knowing if I picked up the phone I was going to meet him where ever and whenever he wanted and that would be it for the newer relationship. I did not pick it up. I did not call him back. I am married to second guy, happily. I like my choice. I just know I could have walked down a very different road."
"Anyway, there are a handful of specific moments I can point to like this. Who would I be? The trousers of time."
- 2beagles
Not a Person
"We were looking to buy our first house, found one that looked PERFECT. It was on the market for a price that was a little out of our range and higher than the houses around it. Our agent was a friend and told us to put an offer in anyway, you never know. The guy never responded, and our agent discovered she actually knew the homeowner's agent. The homeowner was a huge rude moron and in all kinds of debt he was hoping to get out of by way overcharging for the house, and it turned out our offer was almost exactly what the house had been appraised for."
"But ehh, nothing we could do. We settled for another house. Out of curiosity, I'd check back in on the dream house every few months, and watched the price drop and drop, bit by bit. Eventually it sold for LESS than what we'd offered. Still kind of salty about it."
The Cheesy
"Myself. Cheesy, but I always find myself wishing I didn't settle down so young. Sometimes I wish I would have waited until I understood what I truly wanted in a relationship before I committed and had children. I've been with the same person since I was sixteen and that person doesn't have the qualities I am now interested in, but I still love them and life is complicated."
Just Gone
"The only girl I ever really loved. About 9 months ago. One day, we were happy, and everything's perfect. The next day, it all fell apart."
"There was no argument. No disagreement. No warnings. She just left. I'll admit it, she has her reasons, and I don't blame her for any of it. Still hurts like it happened yesterday. I'm not sure I'll ever get over her, but I have come to accept it. I question if I'll ever be able to face her again without that depression creeping its way back into my head."
More or Less
"This is going to sound really depressing, but you have to let someone get close before they can be the one who got away. I have a hard time letting that happen, so I can't really point to any one relationship as the one who got away. As for the relationships I have had, I never really pined for any of them after it ended. Most of them are married and happy now, so I can't help but be happy for them."
"It sucks, but there's no hard feelings. At least not towards them. There's plenty towards myself, but that's more or less how it goes for me in general."
Hey Doc
"Dr Chip: You were in medical school and I just turned 21 -- we had an amazing summer and then for what-ever reason, my stupidity got the best of me and I broke it off."
"I met you decades later by chance. You are a successful Doctor, and have an amazing husband; who all your friends called him my twin in almost every way. *sigh* What might have been."
The Beauty
"The girl I dated in senior year. She was the one who asked me out, we dated for a few months, but then I started meeting her friends and they were some of the people I didn't like in high school. I ended things because who you chose to be around says a lot about you. She ditched those friends because they were friends in name only, and moved out to the west coast to become a model."
Love is a mess. Why even bother trying if you can't be true? It's not hard to just spell out the situation. And if you're the one needing to put together the words... look closer. The dialogue shouldn't be difficult.
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Someone once said that you're not really "old" until you stop playing - stop making the little choices for joy and fun in your daily life.
Making that choice for little bits of silly is something people are starting to proudly embrace.
Reddit user RepresentativeFast97 asked:
"To all the adults. What is one childish thing you still do to this day?"
Cheers to the childish ones, may you stay forever young ... and forever laughing at fart jokes.
Farts Are Funny
"I'm not sure if it's childish or just being a man, but I will never fail to laugh at a good fart joke."
-fanofclutch
"There was this one time, late at night before going to bed I was talking to my dad about some benign thing and for absolutely no reason he just let one rip."
"Opposite end of the room dead in the face while I'm talking, blasting and it straight up stun locked me."
"He wasn't even phased asked me 'What's wrong bud?' and I still laugh when thinking back on it."
-Verunum
The Darkness
"Run away from the darkness when I turn off lights"
-ilovedtransyIvania
"Run one all fours up the stairs while you're doing it to be faster"
-Z4mb0ni
"And jump on the bed when you turn the light switch off on the wall. That way, whatever is underneath can't grab your feet"
-User Deleted
Splash
"When it rains heavily for a few days, our backyard walkway floods."
"I like to put on my rubber boots, my raincoat, grab an umbrella and stomp away in the puddles. I'm 65."
-invalidpassword
"You are my inspiration. Im 18 and hope I will never grow up."
-Oliver_Queen_4587
X-Games in Aisle 3
"I still stand on the back of the shopping cart and kick-scoot it like a scooter up and down the aisles while grocery shopping. I’m nearly 50 years old."
-VictorBlimpmuscle
"Same here."
"I find Costco carts, while requiring more effort to get going, carry a lot of momentum."
"Aldi carts are notably in good shape due to getting returned so often."
"Giant Eagle carts are hit and miss, lots of wobble-wheels unfortunately."
-LeonardGhostal
That Food Was Bomb
"I still open the microwave before the bomb goes off."
-robbini3
"I never understood why I open the microwave at 1 sec left until now lol."
-BigWingWangKen
Blankie
"I had a comfort blanket as a kid, sometimes the lining of a coat pocket feels just like it so I walk around rubbing it like a comfort blanket."
-Targetmissed
"32 and I don’t go anywhere in the house or overnight without my super adult comfort blanket"
-dejapasstime
"My mom is 48 and still sleeps with a baby blanket her parents got her"
-Boneal171
Chocolate Milk
"I drink chocolate milk at restaurants."
"When asked if I seriously just ordered chocolate milk, I respond with 'you’re god damned right I did.'"
-DBM
"We had a buffet in our area that had chocolate milk."
"There were more adults than children who drank it."
-nauticalrangale
"Chocolate milk is delicious and that's the glorious thing about being adults. We can drink as much of it as we damn well please."
-Concerned-Pineapple
Puppy Love
"I'm a 53 year old man. I just went up to my dog laying on the couch and smooshed my face into her fur and said:"
" 'Shmoopy Smoopy Poopy? Are you a SHHHmoopy poo? Who made you so fluffy? Why you fluffy bum? YOU SO FLUFF BUM BUM SMOOGLY BOOGLY!' "
"...while my wife looked on an shook her head."
-ClownfishSoup
Rhyme And Reason
"36 here, and still sing the alphabet (when I need to, not just randomly) and sometimes say the rabbit rhyme when tying my shoes lol"
-Mike_TKE
"I relate with the alphabet singing, and similarly I sing a rhyme in my head to remember which months have 30 days and which have ones have 31 days."
-Laleena_
"I still do the "righty tighty, lefty loosey" thing when working with tools."
-Gladix
"Righty Tighty/Lefty Loosey is the best way!"
"I'm a medical professional on a HIGHLY specialized team working with very complicated equipment on a VERY sick child."
"Trouble shooting a difficult problem, I say out loud to a room of probably 7 specialists: 'Okay Guys, so righty tighty.... we're going to do A, B, and C thing to the right'. "
"No one questioned the righty tighty comment! Everyone gets it!"
-JustGenericName
Impulse Speed
"I indulge in my impulses."
"Wanna walk on that garden wall like it's a balance beam? Wanna take my shoes off? Want to sing loudly?"
"Restraint is something I learned for adulthood, then promptly discarded. It doesn't suit me."
-InimitableMe
"I too have ADHD"
-Iron_physik
Kids having all the fun is whack.
Reclaim childishness. It's good for you!
As for my confession - everything! Cartoons, coloring, dance breaks, little songs, toys and games, bubbles ... I'm not sure I ever outgrew any of those things.
I, too, have ADHD.
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The world is a beautiful place. From natural scenery like the Himalayan Mountains in Asia to the appearance of the Aurora Borealis at various times, awe-inspiring sights are never too hard to find.
Every country can boast a few different areas of jaw-dropping beauty. Some offer more gorgeous scenery than others. It makes us wonder, what makes one country more beautiful than another?
Is it the variety and sheer number of beautiful sights or is it the magnificence of one area? And what is the prettiest country in the world?
Curious to find out, Redditor Dream4Cats asked:
"In your opinion, whats the prettiest country?"
Switzerland
"Since I moved to Switzerland, I've always found the amount of beauty in this country to be borderline upsetting"
– Hour_Prune_225
"Prettiest country I've ever seen is Switzerland. Taking a train through that country is like traveling through a bunch of postcards that have been stitched together. It's f*cking beautiful."
– The_Mikest
Norway
"I was in norway 3 years ago. It was just... Beautiful. Definitly it is my fav. Country with france (corisca)"
– Dream4Cats
"I was playing Geoguessr with a group and this guy from Norway was very much not impressed by a beautiful landscape we found somewhere, because it just looked normal to him. Like what? Do you even see these trees and this lake and the mountains in the distance? Does it mean nothing to you xD"
– Roozyj
"Norway is so beautiful you can't take it..."
– EnvironmentOk5183
Japan
"Japan in springtime"
– PhantomFartz76
"Japan in the fall is equally as stunning. The changing of the leaves is picturesque anywhere you go here."
– thespicyroot
"Japan, cherry blossoms"
– plscallmeRain
The United States (Talk About Diversity)
"If you're talking about any whole country, I would have to say the United States. Every conceivable type of landscape is here. Grasslands, mountain ranges, canyons, deserts, huge cityscapes, Arctic, massive forests, lakes and so much more."
– DARKxASSASSIN29
"USA- the diversity of natural beauty is hard to match anywhere else."
"Yes there are more spectacular wetlands, beaches, snowy peaks, deserts, ancient forests, rivers and natural springs - but there are not many countries which have all of these"
– GoodAndBluts
"The United States. Name a biome or a natural feature and we have it, plus things no where else has."
– twitch_delta_blues
Greece
"All of the Mediterranean countries from all 3 continents ( Asia, Europe and Africa) so diverse and rich, so many different cultures and languages in such a small area. Croatia, Lebanon, Turkey, Egypt, Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Malta, France"
– User Deleted
"I completely agree. I went on a cruise that visited Greece and Italy. It was absolutely gorgeous. Favorite places I’ve ever been."
– bustylusciouslady
"love all those greek islands with the beautiful sea around!"
– Flunderpudding
Italy
"I would say Italy (if we're talking about European countries that I've been too). The villages, landscape, the Tirol, the coastlines, historical ruins... every type of gorgeous (not to mention the people, food and even dare I say it, clothes)."
– TIL_eulenspiegel
"Italy is the most beautiful country by far. It combines alps and mediterranean and it contains multiple layers of historical civilizations."
– Redararis
"Italy—so much ecological diversity"
– pconti279
Scotland
"I have only been to Scotland once but it was really beautiful and I enjoyed it. Love the green, the lochs and all the layers of clouds in the Highlands."
– soline
"The fact I went to a city in Scotland and there was just casually a mountain/possibly just huge hill basically right next to it blew my gd mind."
– EllieC130
"To me it’s got to be Scotland. I went to Edinburgh for vacation once and the natures that surrounds you is so amazing. The small towns were quite and nice and the main city was so beautiful when it rained."
– Koolaidbutasolid
New Zealand
"New Zealand"
– 14kee
"This is the only correct answer"
– Azonic
"New Zealand. Maybe this is just me coming from Australia where most of our native flora is dry, but NZ is the complete opposite. So luscious and green in many areas."
– ThrowRARAw
"We spent a couple of weeks driving around New Zealand’s South Island. It was absolutely stunning."
– mateoRH
Ireland
"Ireland, by far. So green. As someone who loves just driving around in a car with the family, some of the scenery is truly beautiful. You don't even need to go to those hot tourist spots like Giant's Causeway."
– Northiree
"Northern Ireland. Go outside Belfast and you have Giant's Causeway, beaches, Mourne mountains, beautiful green fields, some amazing forestry."
– User Deleted
"Ireland is fantastic. My borther in law lives in county cork and we visited him a few years ago. Rented a car in dublin airport and first off saw the highest waterfall in ireland on the way to cc. Then next day saw the cliffs on the south coast and kinsale. Such a great place to visit! We hope to visit end of the year again."
– Adayuus
Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
"Every country has a beauty of its own in some way shape or form. I don’t think there is one that is better than another."
– Ranos131
"This is a tough one. Every country has beautiful places."
– SwordfishNo4689
"Every country has beauty to it, you just have to know where to look"
– signaturefox2013
Obviously, the responses to this question were plentiful and diverse. However, all of the answers were valid.
In the end, it doesn't really matter what the prettiest country is. We can all be happy knowing that there is seemingly endless beauty in this world.
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There are just some people who always trigger the spidey senses.
The problem is that we don't trust our instincts enough.
How many people have just left you feeling... ill at ease?
Probably more than we care to admit.
We don't want to be wrong about someone.
That is the main problem. Then we'd be embarrassed.
That feeling changes to relief when we see them on the news or a Dateline NBC episode.
Redditor Lucky_Solution7999 wanted to hear about the people who inexplicably rubbed us the wrong way. They asked:
"Hey reddit, what is one time you knew something was off about someone but couldn't prove it?"
When I was doing online "love" browsing a bunch, I was always good about being in tune to my icky feelings.
the guitarist...
"My buddy and the guitarist in my band started dating this girl we were on the same forum with. I raised concerns based on some red flags she posted, but everybody in my band said I was overreacting."
"Cut to about a year later. The girlfriend cheats on him and gets pregnant. When my friend goes to confront her about it, she has the baby’s daddy and five of his friends jump him and beat him into hospitalization. Hate to say I told you so, but…"
gothdaddi
A Guy
"I hired a guy a long time ago and worked with him for years. Very talented and smart, plus a nice guy. At some point, he started making super strange decisions. Kinda impulsive, very odd stuff (asking if he can invite his girlfriend to a staff meeting, for instance). A lot of crap that didn’t make any sense. He got hired to a better job and I lost touch."
"A few months later, he died of a large number of brain tumors. The timeline his girlfriend-turned-wife offered matched up with what we’d been noticing for years. I look back in the arguments and realize there’s no way I could have known. At the same time, that’s kinda the point: you really can’t know what’s going on with someone, so act accordingly."
patricksaurus
psycho
"My parents had a close friend when I was pretty young, maybe between 8 and 10 years old? He came over a lot, to drink or shoot guns with my dad, but I didn’t like him one bit. He just gave me a bad feeling. I remember sticking my tongue out at him every time his back was to me. Never said anything to my parents though, I just stayed away when he was over."
"My mom ended up hiring him to work at the pawn shop she ran, and after he started things went missing. I don’t remember how they figured out he was stealing but he had a gallon ziplock FILLED with jewelry. The cops tried to convince the owner not to press charges (since he got the jewelry back) but the owner went through with it."
"As soon as they booked him, his finger prints came back from an unsolved double homicide- he had brutally murdered an elderly couple when they came home mid-robbery. After he killed him, he drank their milk, leaving his prints on the jug on the counter."
AlwxWrites
“too comfortable”
"My mom used to have this friend years ago when we lived in a pretty nice looking house, and she would often show up uninvited and act 'too comfortable' in our house. my mom would always just say that it’s probably just because that lady comes from a different culture but i was suspicious of the lady stealing some stuff from our house. one day the lady invites my mom to the beach."
"My mom has a huge fear of water and can’t swim at all so she avoids it, but she tends to be overly polite, so she decides to go. at the beach, the lady pressures my mom to go swim assuring her that they’ll stay close to the shore and what not. the lady ended up shoving my mom in and standing back to watch as my mom had a difficult time keeping herself up and trying to swim back to shore."
4bunny44
2 Days...
"My best friend at the time worked with a guy who I had met a few times as I'd join them for afterwork drinks, clubbing, etc. I always felt uncomfortable being around him but didn't know why. He was nice enough and quite funny but something just seemed... off. Anyway, we were out one night and he seemed extra off and ended up disappearing from the club. We found out 2 days later that he had gone home, killed his gf, dismembered her body and put her in the bin out the front of his house."
lilpinaylander
What in the world? Talk about nightmares.
The Former
"A former friend's husband. He always tried just that bit too hard to fit into the group and be involved in everything. Always had to be the smartest guy in the room. I don’t know what it was but I disliked him from the moment we met and there’s not that many people I dislike."
"Long story short, he turned out to be a controlling, emotionally abusive sack of crap who hated me because I kept encouraging my friend to be independent and my husband and I encourage each other to have a life outside of each other."
Yanigan
“too comfortable”
"My mom used to have this friend years ago when we lived in a pretty nice looking house, and she would often show up uninvited and act 'too comfortable' in our house. My mom would always just say that it’s probably just because that lady comes from a different culture but I was suspicious of the lady stealing some stuff from our house. One day the lady invites my mom to the beach, my mom has a huge fear of water and can’t swim at all so she avoids it."
"But she tends to be overly polite, so she decides to go. at the beach, the lady pressures my mom to go swim assuring her that they’ll stay close to the shore and what not. the lady ended up shoving my mom in and standing back to watch as my mom had a diffcult time keeping herself up and trying to swim back to shore."
4bunny44
he's weird...
"I was friends with this kid for awhile and he was always weird. he always made some sort of sexual joke or comment about you or something he wanted to do to you, although the comments were weird everyone brushed them off as if they were a joke."
"Me and him were really close at one point and decided that we would get drunk, at first I felt uneasy as i do not drink and i wasn’t really comfortable with the idea of being around him and getting drunk as i know his personality. eventually he persuaded me to drink with him and after a few shots we were pretty drunk."
"After that we headed over to his place and had to act completely sober in front of his parents. After awhile it had been quite awhile since we had drank i was starting to feel/act more sober than a few hours before and from my point of view, he did too."
"After awhile he was starting to act his usual self and make the sexual comments but out of nowhere he started acting upon it too. The friendship had ended shortly after that experience."
BitLimp5448
This is a lot. This is why I avoid people. People are crazy.
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When you have no money, you have no other choice than finding ways to survive.
It can be sort of like a club.
Only people who understand being poor will recognize other poor people.
There are things you learn about stretching every penny that some will never be able to comprehend.
Of course right now in the throws of this ridiculous inflation problem, pennies are useless.
But that is a different conversation.
Let's make some notes about lacking funds.
Redditor cannonstotheleftofus wanted to hear from people who have struggled with the coin. They asked:
"What’s something people don’t know unless they’ve been poor?"
Rewashing clothes and reusing the same clothes for months. You ignore the fade.
Noodle Away
"How to make $20 last a week."
whattayagonnadew
"The magic word is Ramen."
cannonstotheleftofus
“pay us now”
"You have a couple of months from when you get those 'pay us now' letters until they actually care enough to get bailiffs involved."
Nitrosquid212
"I am currently in that stage and boy if that doesn't just make the next payment even worse. It's and endless cycle of higher and higher catch-up payments till you die or someone finally helps you."
AnnBelleBot
Reading is Fundamental
"Poor people know the importance of a good library. They are one of the few remaining public places where you can simply exist without the expectation of buying something. Books are free to check out and provided entertainment when my family couldn't afford internet/cable. The library in my town is a safe, well-lit, air conditioned/heated space that has clean water, free access to bathrooms, and free wifi."
"Not everyone has all those resources at home. Some people have no home at all. It's a valuable resource for homeless people and it's a safe space for poor kids to do homework or hang around while parents are busy working. Nowadays libraries even offer free passes to museums and zoos, free adult education classes, and have tools or sewing machines you can borrow. Libraries are great."
aimlessly_scrolling
Transportation
"That everything takes twice as long to do because you have to take public transportation, and have to go to the laundromat; many things are a huge hassle like limiting how many things you can get at the store because you have to lug it all on the bus; basically things that many take for granted require a load of planning and time."
EspressoBooksCats
Good Night
"Sleeping not because you're tired but because you're hungry and can't grab a bite because whatever might be left in the fridge gotta last till the 15th."
VtecKickedInYooo
Food is always the biggest issue. Making food last is a skill.
Budgets
"How expensive being poor can be. When you're living paycheck-to-paycheck, you can't often plan/save/budget as well as you could if you had some money to fall back on."
NoCelery1168
The taste...
"How a black bean and rice burrito tastes when it's all you've been able to afford for the better part of the past year. No cheese, just beans and rice and tortilla, sometimes with Lowry's Seasoned Salt or peanut butter when available. Cheese is the most expensive part of a burrito."
CedarWolf
Cheap parts...
"Being poor is expensive. You’re forced to buy low quality s**t that needs to be replaced constantly, which in the long run causes you to spend more money. This is why poverty is so hard to escape. For example, when I was poor as s**t, I was forced to learn how to fix my own old a** car and buy cheap parts, because I just couldn’t afford to take it in, buy quality parts, and/or get something more reliable."
"Because of this, sometimes I didn’t know what I was doing and created other issues therefore causing me to spend more money. Cheap parts need to replaced way more often causing me to spend more money in the long run as opposed to buying a quality, long lasting part initially. And the car itself just broke down way more frequently, causing me to spend money more than I would with a more reliable vehicle."
"But the problem is when you’re poor, you don’t have the option to buy that quality starter that will last years. You have to buy the cheap piece of s**t one and replace it yearly because you literally don’t have the money for the quality one as a one time expense. Although I do love working on cars now as a result of this, so in a weird way I’m grateful, but the point still stands."
Mirraco323
Pain in the A...
"Medicaid is a pain in the a** to understand and sign up for. It's like the state actively fights you trying to sign up."
MrPuzzleMan
"I remember the one time I was briefly on Medicaid. It was such a pain in the a** to get going and the end result was that there was no point in having bothered because nobody took Medicaid and Medicaid didn't cover any of my diabetic supplies. The healthcare system needs a major overhaul and anybody who says otherwise can go suck a lemon."
BeneejSpoor
reuse...
"You can infuse your tea more than once. It goes well with two times and it's acceptable with three. More than that... You can't afford tea."
25_-a
"My grandma wasn't poor by a long shot, but she made those teabags last at least 5 times!!! They would be standing in the kitchen, all dried up on a little plate, ready to be reused!"
Th3_Accountant
How do you use tea that many times? I love it anyway.
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